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Tsubasa slammed the door to her and Takumi's shared bedroom, startling Yugamu who had been trying to add the perfect ratio of milk to his midnight cereal bowl. He overshot it, but not so much that adding a few more Cheerios couldn't fix it.
His attention was turned more to Tsubasa, who was fuming so hard the smoke alarm may as well have gone off. Her hair was half done, but Yugamu couldn't tell if it was a hastily thrown together ponytail, or one that was at the end of its lifespan. Either way, this had Takumi written all over it. The slam of the door wasn't just to alert everyone in the apartment to her mood, but to send a warning to her boyfriend as well.
“Trouble in paradise?” Yugamu asked cheekily. Tsubasa rolled her eyes, and leaned back against the kitchen counter with her arms crossed and lips pressed into a pout. Her oversized t-shirt was clearly Takumi's, though the Jurassic Park logo should have been a dead giveaway. Yugamu felt a pang of jealousy. Though he was comfortable walking around their apartment in various states of undress, he envied the casual reminders of how two people could be entwined together; if Takumi left his shirt in his room some night, Yugamu would snatch the opportunity to wear it out in a heartbeat.
“Men are pigs,” Tsubasa said curtly, and right to the point. “How hard is it to aim?! I just wanted to use the bathroom, but he left sprinkles all over the toilet seat! And that made me… hrrk… I’m getting sick just thinking about it…”
Yugamu put a reassuring hand on Tsubasa’s back and rubbed softly. Poor girl was always getting nauseous; she had a sensitive stomach. He'd tried making medications for her, but up on the satellite his resources to various chemicals and equipment were greatly restricted. She'd have to go through proper channels to get the help, but the thought of it had made her too nauseous to try. Yugamu knew enough of her symptoms to make a convincing case at his own appointment, scheduled for the following week. If it was treating the right problem, the patient in question was a frivolous detail.
Originally, Yugamu had proposed the bathrooms be split him with Takumi, and Darumi with Tsubasa. It was vetoed by everyone else in the apartment. As sharing as Tsubasa could be, sometimes it did feel like she had a choke hold on Takumi. And Takumi… just went along with it. Of course, the new proposition was disguised under the premise that the two who dyed their hair should be forced to share their bathroom since it would need more frequent cleaning.
"I think it's an equipment issue," said Yugamu. He took a bite of his cereal.
"No. Darumi never leaves the seat a mess. This is Takumi being gross! And don't call it that!" Tsubasa exclaimed.
“Have you ever used a garden hose?” asked Yugamu. Tsubasa scrunched up her nose.
“Yeah, once or twice.”
“You know how there’s still a drip after you turn the faucet off?” asked Yugamu. A realization dawned on Tsubasa’s face as she visualized it in her head. “Shaking it usually helps get all the drips out. Honestly, I should have made improvements to mine since I designed it myself— though I have to admit, I kind of enjoy the little shake at the end.”
“Ew! Well, can you tell Takumi to stop it?!” asked Tsubasa, a little green in the face. She gripped the counter tightly with one of her hands, nails white.
“Maybe I’ll teach him directly,” said Yugamu, cheeks running a little red. He'd jump at any excuse to touch him intimately, even if it was something the girls would deem gross. If it was Takumi, it wasn't gross at all. “I can hold it for him, and show him how it’s done.”
Yugamu could picture it now, him and Takumi alone in the bathroom. He'd press up from behind Takumi gently, and hold his dick, but not too firm as to squeeze him or cause any discomfort. It'd be warm… And Takumi would definitely be shy about it. His cheeks would go as red as his hair, and it'd take him an embarrassing amount of time to actually get started. He'd hold him until he was finished, and show the special technique he always used to make sure to get all the drops on the target. Then, any time Takumi pissed again, he'd think of Yugamu…
“If it gets him to stop peeing on the seat…” Tsubasa conceded, throwing her hands up in the air. "I still don't understand why you'd want to teach him, though. I think it'd be kind of gross."
Yugamu offered a sad smile. Tsubasa could never appreciate Takumi in every way, like he could. And yet she was the only one Takumi opened his heart to, despite Tsubasa etching a hard line at disgust.
“I think it’s romantic. People are at their most vulnerable when they excrete. It’s a prime assassination time,” explained Yugamu, tapping one of his sharp nails on his lips. “To experience such a moment with Takumi, oh! I don’t think my heart could take it!”
Yugamu clutched the sides of his arms with his hands. Sometimes he just wanted to wrap his arms around himself and squeeze to get all of the emotion out, like he was juicing himself. But that was always saved for his private times, he didn't want to force Tsubasa to bear witness and puke into the sink. She was already having a hard time holding up in the conversation right now, though Yugamu appreciated her for it. Despite the suspiciously Takumi shaped elephant in the room, they did have a mutual respect.
“I guess so…” said Tsubasa. She took a deep breath, calming herself. “I’m not going to pretend to understand, but that kind of thing is really important to you, right?”
Yugamu nodded.
“Then… I hope you can hold it while he pees,” said Tsubasa, smiling through her discomfort. “And I hope he learns from it."
Yugamu grinned from ear to ear.