Work Text:
Resting on the sofa, Ilya mindlessly scrolled through social media, trying to find something to pass the time as he waited for Shane to come back to the apartment.
Abruptly, his phone disconnected. Ilya groaned loudly. Why at this time, when he was about to die of boredom? With no other choice, Ilya stood up and browsed through the bookshelves. As expected, the bookshelves were full of books Ilya thought to be boring. “Boring, boring, boring.” He said, flipping thru the pages of a randomly-picked book.
Eventually, he found a book with an eye-catching title. Hoping it would be as intriguing as he thought, he plopped down the sofa once more, and opened the book. The start was promising. Although Ilya loved Shane’s “boringness”, it was abnormal, yet nice for Shane to have a book that wasn’t as “boring” as he was already. Just as Ilya was a few pages in…
SLAM!
The door went, as an extremely upset Shane stood in the entrance.
”Where the fuck have you been?” he shouted “Missing the fucking action! I called your mother-fucking phone to tell you-“
“My phone’s been disconnected!” interrupted Ilya “What the fuck you want me to do?”
“Well,” said Shane “I’m pregnant!” announced he as he swiftly pulled out 5 photos of an ultrasound.
“Damn, you have 5 babies?” Ilya concluded preposterously, possibly not giving a thought to the impact the pregnancy had on their relationship.
“No, it’s one fucking baby.” Shane said, exasperated at this assumption.
One factor that stood out for Ilya was that the photos were black and white. “I’m not even black and white!” Ilya argued, completely puzzled by it.
This reached Shane’s limit.
“MOTHERFUCKER, THAT’S THE INK!” he yelled.