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Dan and Phil were practically living on top of each other. No not in a sexy way but in the rather literal sense. They were stuck in a one bedroom apartment with abysmal space and boxes stacked so haphazardly on top of each other all it took was one wrong shimmy for a twin towers situation to be feasible. After more than a decade of being with the man Dan could comfortably say he loved him but in this moment he hated him the slightest bit more.
The kitchen that Dan had been in 20 minutes prior had undergone a surreal transformation. Pristine and crumble free it used to be. Even the sink had been empty no greasy dish in sight. He mourned silently as he looked around at the carnage. Every single cupboard was thrown open without a care in the world. He could just picture Phil frolicking around head empty no thoughts humming some muse tune. Somehow forgetting where the cereal is even though they always put it in the same damn spot. Would it even have occurred to him to close the cupboards as he went or did he acknowledge the thought and just to spite Dan chose not to do it either way? Dan wasn't sure which was worse. There were stray pieces of cereal on the counter where it appeared Phil had managed to miss the bowl. He must have figured his glasses were optional this morning his blind as bat vision not being taken into consideration. Dan silently ragged. He looked towards the sink and there it was. The final piece of damming evidence. There was not one but TWO bowls in the sink?! Why would he possibly need two bowls? That was it. The final straw.
"PHIILLL" He called. The annoyance radiating off the single syllable
"What Dan! I told you to stop calling for me so loud we'll get another complaint from the neighbors" Came the exasperated reply from their bedroom.
"I WOULDN'T BE LOUD IF YOU DIDN'T KEEP WRECKING OUR KITCHEN" Came the talk shouting from Dan. Where the volume was indoor but the essence of yelling was well maintained.
"God you're so dramatic it's like a bowl I'll fix it later."
"It is not A bowl and i am NOT dramatic. It is somehow TWO bowls. You know what i don't even want to know why or how that happened"
"Well I"-
"Shush shhhh Phil i just said I don't want to know"
Phil sighed and went back to writing Buffy the vampire slayer fanfiction or something fuck if Dan knew. Dan himself compartmentalized the mess in the kitchen out of his reality and sat down to play some piano to distract himself from this miserable existence. He had played the first 15 seconds of a practically impossible classical piece for the 1342424453456th time when he heard a distinct throat clearing. Dan being the lovely partner that he is choose to ignore that. What he couldn't ignore was the third throat clearing in which Phil must have been pretending to have a whole possum stuck in throat because that gargling surely was a bit over the top. Dan dramatically pushed down all the keys on the keyboard he was nothing if not a Diva. After the rather ominous disjointed harmony he slowly turned his head towards the general vicinity of where Phil was now sat.
"What Philip" He asked deadpan
"I think you've got that bit down Daniel it's music to my ears really but i think you can move onto the next part." Phil said his tone dripping in faux sweetness. He innocently batted his eyelashes to veneer the real message.
Oh so they were being passive aggressive were they? It was on
"No, no babe surely not i need to play it at least 100 times more." Said Dan popping the B on babe while an unhinged smile graced his lips. The dimples were meant to mock Phil.
"Right! Okay then that's just peachy!" Conceded Phil sounding the last thing from peachy. The fake enthusiasm barely covering the manic edge to his words.
Dan went back to playing the intro that he had in fact perfected. Yes he may have been just that petty. On his 6th perfect playthrough Phil interrupted the resounding notes with.
"Listen Dan i know you love Bussy but-"
"What- ?! I love what now?! " Asked Dan bamboozled having immediately fumbled the notes after Phil uttered "Bussy"
"Bussy? the- the composer guy?"
Dan couldn't help it not that he'd want to. He burst out laughing. He was bent over the piano in the least sexy way possible cackling like an evil goblin that dwelled in the nether caves. He swears he could feel tears forming in the corner of his eyes when Phil went
"What? What did i say?"
"Ha! Bussy good one Phil. God you're such a dork" Dan said in between giggles.
"Well that's what he's called!!" Phil huffed adamant.
"No Philly it's Debussy" said Dan and for all his previous irked Ness he sounded as fond as he felt. If there were camera's on them the audience would surely accuse him of having a "Daniel heart eyes Howell" moment. Even if they ever hard launch he would firmly deny said accusations because the only emotion that should be seen in Dan's eyes is the dark depths of existential dread thank you very much.
When his fingers touched the keys again he did go on to play the next part of the song but that had nothing to do with anything and anyone that stated otherwise was a filthy little liar. Eventually from the corner of his eye Dan saw Phil shuffle through the maze of boxes over to the kitchen and start cleaning. He was bent over clearing stray cereal crumbs from the floor and well..... Phil never bended at the knees even when he really should because that angle was illegal.
Dan sauntered on over to him with the distant thought of "cleaning can wait". So what if he had a bit of a Cinderella kink?! sue him.