Chapter Text
He had trained his body to endure pain at a very young age, up to the point where the silver line that was once present between pain and pleasure had faded.
Was it really his fault though? Considering the fact that his father was a well-known serial killer, the world wasn't keen on treating him with kindness. His own mother was the first person to teach him this reality, as she made him ingest various drugs to the point of immunity. He still loved her though, maybe that's where he learnt to love pain.
As Jabber's body developed immunity, his mother wasn't so fortunate. She had passed away, leaving the poor boy with nothing but her set of ten rings, which he wore on every finger. His family was supposed to be responsible for his upbringing, but they couldn't care less about the now orphaned boy. They left him on the dirty streets, where he would get thinner due to starvation. He was ten years old at that time.
The boy survived on his own up until a blue haired woman took interest in him. She brought him into a spacious house, where he was bathed, clothed and fed for the first time in three months. She then proceeded to adopt him, and gave the boy a new last name; thus, disconnecting whatever connection he had left with his biological family. He met others that shared his situation, and they called each other 'siblings'. (only Jabber ever called them siblings)
Those were the only people he would consider close to him. He's never needed to have anyone else.
Even if he got into relationships in middle school, he'd never considered them serious, never expected them to last more than a month or so. He'd much rather spend time alone with his thoughts or with his found family.
Speaking of his so called 'family', the family consisted of three adults and five children (now teenagers), all around Jabber's age.
The adults included, Cthoni Andor, the blue haired woman now in her late twenties (fairly short compared to the rest of the family). Zodyl Typhon, a dark haired man in his early twenties (though he looks older). And finally, Bundus Begalkeit, a man in his mid forties (the most friendly out of the three).
The five children included Noerde Hew Amozo, the oldest, who had just turned eighteen a few days ago and was in her last year of high school. Jabber Wonger himself, who's a year younger than the former and in his second last year of high school. Fu and Hii Orostor, a set of twins, who were in the same year as Jabber. And Momoa Rukel, who also shared the same age as the former three.
Now to the present time, where Jabber was bored out of his mind. He was killing time in the school's garden, where the environment club operated. What can he say? The guy was bored out of his mind, since his class was now teaching the students that picked business rather than science. And he was one of the lucky students that picked science! He took a deep breath of the fresh air present in the garden, something he didn't notice until now. The garden had good ventilation, it wasn't a surprise, but it was a lovely detail to take in, considering he's in the drama club (there was no club that would operate in a lab, much to a freshman Jabber's dismay).
He glanced at the different flowers that bloomed across the garden, each flower had it's own beauty, and it made him wonder how it's nectar tasted.
So he did just that. He took one look to his right, then to his left, saw no one, and picked a small flower from a bush-like plant before dissecting it in the palm of his hand and letting the drop of sweet nectar fall onto his tongue. His fuchsia eyes lit in happiness when he discovered that his hypothesis on it's sweetness was proven correct. He plucked another flower and repeated the process, until he was ten flowers in, when he was abruptly stopped by a voice behind him.
"The hell are you doin' here?" The voice spoke, and so, Jabber was officially caught red-handed.
The dread head chuckled at the realisation, slowly turning around to meet the person that caught him in the act. It was a guy, looked around Jabber's age, who had dirty blond hair and big navy blue eyes. The man had fair skin, one that looked oh so soft.
That guy looked so fucking beautiful.
"Jus tasting the flowers..." Jabber said as he slowly moved away from the tree.
Just as Jabber thought the other was going to get him in trouble, that guy... laughed. Fucking... laughed.
"Dude!" The guy exclaimed. "You look like I just caught ya doin' drugs or somethin'!"
He pouted at the blond's laughter. This guy was straight up making fun of him for reacting accordingly to the situation!
Once the guy's laughter died down, he walked up to the dread head and took a flower himself. "Don't worry 'bout it, we do this all the time! Even if Enjin would kill us every time we got caught.."
Jabber let out a breath he hadn't realised he was holding, he was just that nervous huh? "Dude, I thought I was gonna die!"
The other guy chuckled at Jabber's reaction. "Just make sure you don't get caught by Enjin and you're good." He then proceeded to swallow a drop of nectar from the flower he picked for himself. "Bro this one's the best, you really picked out the best one first!"
The two continued to engage in conversation until the business classes were over. Jabber learnt that the other guy's name was Zanka Nijiku, one that seemed so familiar, but Jabber couldn't put his finger on it unfortunately. He also learnt that Zanka was the leader of the environment club, and that he has the permission to visit any time (as long as nothing gets damaged). And the fact that Zanka was watching him since the moment he stepped foot into the garden.
"Jabber, this is your class?" Zanka asked when he was walked to his class by the other.
Jabber glanced inside through the window, it indeed was his class. "Uh, yeah? Something wrong?"
"Nah, it's just that.." Zanka pushed open the door of the classroom. "it's my class too.."
The fuchsia eyes shone bright with unexpected happiness for the second time today. "Bro.."
For the first time ever, Jabber was happy that he didn't share a class with the rest of his siblings. Or else, he couldn't have sat next to Zanka like he did this time. The two got along splendidly, talking about their interests, favourite shows, hobbies, strongest subjects, all of it. So much so that the teacher had to stop the two around five times. When their classes ended, Jabber knew a lot about Zanka, and vice versa, Zanka knew a lot about Jabber. They had agreed that they would tutor each other in their weak subjects another day.
When Jabber made his way into the van that Bundus used to carry all of them, he was a tad bit disappointed that he had to say goodbye to Zanka for the day. He wanted to talk to him more, there was just so much to learn about the other, that Jabber could keep going back to him over and over again and never bore himself.
"You seem happy, kid." Bundus spoke when they got off the highway and drove in their street.
"Uhh..." Jabber couldn't think of a proper response quickly enough, which made Momoa look up from her phone and at him. This was clearly an unusual behavior when it came to Jabber. "I talked to someone interesting today." He finally said.
"Interesting, huh? How so?" Bundus hummed, his eyes still on the road.
"Well," Jabber mumbled, his head pressed against the window of the van. "jus something about him, makes him so damn interesting. I'm not too sure what it is.."
Hii chuckled. "You sound like you're in love with him."
"I am not." Jabber was quick to respond in a monotone voice, which made the other chuckle.
Today was so damn humiliating! First it was the time in the garden, now whatever bullshit Hii is pulling right now. He was so off his game! So Jabber decided to focus on the sunset outside, he watched hues of pink, red, yellow, and many other warm colours form a mixture that he awed since childhood. They made it home a few minutes after that, but the dread head's consciousness was in the sky, up until Momoa pulled him out of it by poked him on the shoulder, and telling him to get off the vehicle.
That was when he realised how dazed he'd been since his long conversation with Zanka. It wasn't that he didn't like it, but rather he wanted more. He wanted to repeat the day all over again just to experience the time period in the garden again, to experience that biology class with Zanka by his side. When was the last time he felt this type of need?
Who is he kidding, there wasn't even a first.
This was entirely new to him. He's never desired to repeat a moment in his life, at least not like this. Not when he dated that one girl in middle school (he'd rather that never happened), not when his maternal family threw him out, not when he got high for the first time. This was just way too.. new.
So he did what anyone would do, and borrow a vape from one of his older friends, late at night.
Well, he did think about talking to someone about his unfamiliar feelings before he did it. So that was good.
He stared at the stars that littered the night sky, some brighter than the other, and some a whole different colour. One drag after the other, he vaped as he cleared his thoughts. He did this whenever he couldn't handle whatever he was going through, and it wasn't like anyone here was good at comforting him.
Would Zanka be good at comforting people?
He let out an annoyed sigh at the thought he wanted to dissipate, and and even more annoyed sigh when he realised that he vaped the whole thing empty, and his thoughts weren't even calmed down yet!
But, what could he expect from sneaking out of his window to the rooftop to vape on a cold autumn night.
Jabber crawled back into his dark room, as silent as he could possibly be. He let out yet another sigh as he closed the window and threw the vape in the trash can.
"How many times have I told you to quit that?"
His movement halted immediately at the sound of Cthoni's scolding. He turned to face her, she was on the side of his bed, sitting, waiting, for him.
"Sorry.." He mumbled. "I know you told me to-"
Cthoni's sigh cut Jabber off. "I didn't take you in to watch you slowly die in my watch.. Do you not trust me? Is that it?"
Jabber shook his head no. "Was scared, I guess.. t's my first time feeling this way.."
He saw how Cthoni's eyes softened at his words. "Sit down, you won't sleep until you tell me everything.."
And so he told the elder about the events that occured that day. From walking with Zanka in the garden, to the time they spent together in class, he told her everything. How his heart skipped a beat, how he felt like he humiliated himself in front of the other, and the fact that when they talked about their interests, Jabber couldn't help but think about how to impress the blond. Plus, how those feelings are nothing he felt before, and how that scared him.
When Jabber finished his rant, his head was resting on Cthoni's lap, being massaged by her slightly scarred hands. "That is scary, thank you for telling me."
"What do I do about it?" He asked.
"I wouldn't know, never felt that way about someone before. But, you'll find a way to overcome it. Just— tell me anything you're planning to do.."
It somewhat comforted him that Cthoni would listen to whatever he had to say with patience and appropriate responses, even if she fully didn't understand the situation. It was the same when he was overcoming his trauma, and when he broke up with that girl from middle school. Cthoni was the one that prevented him from going astray and attempted to comprehend his situation to the best of her abilities.
"Well.." Jabber whispered, only loud enough for both of them to hear, as if there was someone listening in. "..is it a good idea to spend more time with him? See where it takes me from there..."
Cthoni sighed as she combed his hair through her fingers. "I think that's a great idea, Jabber." She only left his room after ensuring that Jabber fell asleep. Closing the door behind her, she was met with Bundus and Zodyl.
"What was wrong with him?" Zodyl asked.
"Think he caught feelings for someone, didn't tell me who." Cthoni's response made the eldest man chuckle softly.
"He struggled with understanding emotions," Started Bundus. "It's only natural that an emotion as complicated as that will get him all confused and scared."
Zodyl sighed. "And with his desire for pain, it would make this even more complicated.."
Some keep a diary as a way to voice their thoughts in a way that no one hears them, others tell their closest and most trustworthy friends. Jabber just keeps to himself the best he can, as the idea of writing down all his thoughts about the other man that, in Cthoni's words, he has feelings for (he pretended to fall asleep the night before and overheard the conversation among the adults), is just too much work! If you ever catch Jabber doing such a thing than you're in a fantasy relm for sure.
He never realised just how nervous he can get, that man was definitely casting all sorts of spells on him. His heart rate never accelerated so much just by looking at a person, and the fact that they sit together in biology class now, all because of yesterday.
His thoughts no longer make sense to him, they are in no chronological order at all. Everything is mixed up. And it's all Zanka's fault.
He blames the other to cover his sin in this mess.
Jabber feels sweat all over him when Zanka asks him a question. Albeit he tries his best to answer, it doesn't come out nonchalantly. He stutters at almost every single word, he can only see the amount of mistakes his mouth makes when he explains. And when Zanka gives him time to calm down, he lets him calm down, holds his hand while doing so, made his body feel so warm, especially his upper body. Just what the hell is this?
When he gets home, he runs his mouth to his older 'sister' Noerde.
"And it's like— what the hell is this feeling?! Cthoni said i have feelings, but just what the hell is this??" He rants as the other (surprisingly) listens to him attentively.
As soon as Jabber finishes, the blonde beside him sighs. "Well, he's clearly someone special to ya, so I'm not gonna say much. Try getting used to his presence, alright? You'll know if you'd want to confess your feelings then."
Wait— confess his feelings?
"You don't think what I'm feeling.. is that sappy shit do you?" He'd rather die than it be...
The other just shrugs. "It'll be what you let it be." And that's where this conversation ended.
He hated that he's considering his new emotions to actually be.. love. He hates that it makes people do things they normally wouldn't do, how it feels as sweet as sugar and brownies but the second something goes wrong, it turns as sour as lime. And when you consider his first and so far, only relationship, it stays sour forever and ever. Once it turns sour, it never turns sweet again. The once beautifully bloomed relationship will have no rhythm, the dance will eventually stop due to two guilty and sinful feet.
Now that he thinks about it, Zanka is making him do things he normally wouldn't do. It wasn't everyday that he would feel a need to impress someone, to make sure they wouldn't get bored of him. And the fact that his family noticed this change is crazy. Super crazy.
"Well, he's clearly someone special to ya," Noerde's voice echos in his mind.
However, it wasn't until his first study session with Zanka, that he came to realise how eerily factual that statement truly was.
They sat at some random table at their local public library, with the soft afternoon light and the faint music playing on the library speakers. Jabber was tasked with explaining a concept in chemistry to the other, yet both of them could tell that the former was not in his element at the moment. It was a little embarrassing, albeit Zanka was giving him time to collect himself over and over again.
"Are you not feeling well? Your face is all red.." Zanka's worry was evident, and how the fuck can he tell that Jabber's face was all red, Jabber is currently avoiding his fricking gaze!
Zanka must not realise just how close he is, that guy was checking his temperature for crying out loud! "You're not sick.. should we take a break? We could go get some ice cream if you'd like?"
Jabber just ended up nodding in his flushed state, thank the heavens that Zanka was now away from his face. When they arrived at the ice cream parlour, Jabber immedietly took note of the flavour of ice cream the blond ordered. It was just chocolate ice cream with some more chocolate on top, but he couldn't help himself but think aww, that's lowkey kinda cute..
They sat at the seats outside, the music played by the parlour still audible.
"Do you like the song their playing?" Zanka really knows how to start conversations huh?
"Not really my taste, but it's not bad.." Jabber responded before shoving a large scoop of his chosen cookie dough flavoured ice cream down his throat.
Zanka chuckled at that. "Careful! Wouldn't want you to get your brain frozen!"
"Mmhm.." Jabber felt his face get warmer. This guy and his stupidly handsome laugh..
They sat there for a while, even after they finished their ice cream. Zanka looked like he was taking in the beauty of the area in general, while Jabber was taking in Zanka's beauty, that he was not able to observe today due to 'circumstances'. He's never realised how long the other's eye lashes were.. or how smooth the skin on his face looked, that guy probably did skincare (not that Jabber was complaining).
"You said that you watch anime, right?" Zanka's voice suddenly broke the silence. "What's your favourite?"
And that flipped a switch in Jabber he didn't even know he had. He started going on about all the different animes he's watched all throughout his childhood. From action, to comedy, to slice of life and even romance. He explained to Zanka that he while he didn't have a perticularly favourite, there was one from each genre. He also didn't catch himself saying that he's been dying for this chance to explain his most cherished shows to someone that would listen, since his siblings wouldn't, so when he did catch himself saying too much, he went sort of slient. That was also when he realised that he just spent thirty minutes yapping about his preferred shows and movies to Zanka, who listened the whole time. "Sorry.." He mumbled.
"No no, it's okay!" The other chuckled. "I didn't know you had siblings." He changes the topic.
Jabber sheepishly sighs. "They're not really my siblings, we were all taken in and were raised together, so I just call em that.."
"That's so cute! Ugh, my family is just your steriotypical Asian family that only cares about grades and their business company!"
"You don't like business?" Jabber asks, finding Zanka's annoyed tone amusing.
Zanka groans. "I hate it. Too many complicated calculations. It's why i struggle in chemistry, though not so much.."
"What do you want to be? Like after graduation and stuff?" Jabber hums.
"Either a Kennel assistant or Veterinarian. Depends on my results on my final year." Zanka turns to face the dread head. "What about you?"
"Something between a chemist and a lab technician. Hone-"
"BRRRR-" Jabber's phone rang, disturbing the smooth flowing conversation.
"Gimmie a minute." He picks up. "Yes, Cthoni? Huh? The sun's down? Oh shi— I'll be home in just a bit!"
Zanka chuckles. "I'll see you at school tomorrow?"
"Yes, yes you will. We have unfinished business." Jabber says before taking his leave.
When he made it back home, he was surprised to find everyone in the living room, seemingly waiting for him.
"Had fun on your date?" Hii says with a huge smile on his face.
"It wasn't a date.." Jabber mumbled. "And why is everyone in the living room?"
It was a long night of explaining his emotions to his family, and Jabber wishes he kept it to himself. Nontheless, he was able to realise that the emotions he was feeling for Zanka was normal, but special. So, what is he going to do about it? Absolutely nothing (for now).