Work Text:
Soonyoung’s nap was abruptly interrupted when he gasped for air with a yelp, feeling a large weight was dropped onto his stomach as he was lying down on the couch. His eyes opened immediately as he let out a loud yelp and looked to see his roommate, Junhui, smile and wave at him.
“Morning.” Junhui smiled. “Package.”
He watched his friend casually walk into the kitchen after dropping what felt like a shitload of bricks upon his esophagus. Soonyoung groaned as he slowly sat up, a bit lightheaded from such a sudden wake-up call, but he managed as he adjusted his position on the loveseat and leaned against the back cushion as he looked at the box. He smiled to himself.
Jihoon always knew what to pack inside his packages for Soonyoung. For such a small package, it was tightly arranged with various knick-knacks that Soonyoung would love collecting from local craft stores near Jihoon. There were a dozen of his favourite snacks as well, Jihoon knew how much Soonyoung snacked during his intense work sessions. And, last but not least, Jihoon had an envelope.
This was a monthly routine. Soonyoung and Jihoon always sent packages to each other, including a letter with an update on what’s been happening since the last package they sent. That’s how these two worked out their long-distance relationship.
Soonyoung was leaning against the kitchen counter of his shared two-bed, one-bath apartment with Junhui as he teared the envelope open and unfolded the letter and began to read Jihoon’s neatly written cursive handwriting. He smiled, reading about his love ranting about how the weather is just as bad as last month’s letter with how much rain was pouring. Jihoon said that he was doing fine, continuing his workload afar and still striving for that dream of becoming the best music producer in the entertainment industry. Soonyoung gasped when Jihoon mentioned he wrote a little song on a disc in the package and he immediately ran back to the living room to fetch the CD case.
It was a bit old-fashioned, especially since Jihoon could easily just send an email or a text to check up on Soonyoung or send the music he created, but they considered this much more intimate and made their exchanges just all that more special. Soonyoung inserted the disc into his laptop and played the one track on the list. He immediately squealed and covered his mouth when he heard Jihoon’s soothing voice, blushing when Junhui’s snickers could be heard from the other room.
Jihoon wasn’t too confident with his voice, but Soonyoung believed he had the voice of an angel. From the time he first heard it when he was dragged to that one corner cafe by Junhui, the moment Jihoon opened his mouth on the makeshift stage during his open mic performance, Soonyoung knew Jihoon would leave an impact on his life.
The song was short and sweet, much like the composer himself. There was a slight blush on the dancer’s cheeks when he heard that Jihoon wishes that they would meet up soon, making his heart skip a beat. Soonyoung wasn’t much of a composer, but there are times where he fiddles around on his laptop until the break of dawn and it turns into something catchy that’s worth of being recorded onto his music program which he then burns onto a CD and sends to Jihoon.
What Soonyoung recorded that night wasn’t much of a song but a promise. A promise that it wouldn’t be too long until they’re back together again where they’ll make up for all of their lost time. It would be a month until he sent it though as he still had to collect and gather other things for Jihoon over the course of the four weeks. He also still had to write a letter of updates that have been happening, but, honestly, Soonyoung is impatient and head over heels for Jihoon that he couldn’t help but send it the next day.
He sent the CD, his mediocre and cheesy snippet of a song, in the mail and texted Jihoon that something was coming his way. Soonyoung was snuggling under his bed and giggling when Jihoon said that he was messing up the whole packaging system they had.
“We spent eight months mailing packages back and forth,” Jihoon typed out, “and yet you can't wait ‘til the end of this month to send a CD?”
“It's not my fault!” Soonyoung replied back. “I had inspiration from my muse.”
Jihoon rolled his eyes while his cheeks grew warm. “Well, your muse isn't amused.”
“Oh, you really wanted to use that pun, I know you did!” Soonyoung giggled and pulled the blanket over his shoulder more as he shivered. He still wasn't used to a bed for one nor the lack of shared body heat under the sheets. “I can't help that I miss you.”
“I miss you too,” Jihoon sighed. “I still can't believe you tried to hop on the train with me when I left.”
Soonyoung laughed lightly. “You still remember that?”
“I'm pretty sure everyone at the train station remembered that blond guy who kept trying to jump onto the train pulling at my arm while the station workers kept pulling him off as the train started to move.”
“Well, can you blame me? I never thought that you had to leave my side.”
It took a while for those words to register into Jihoon’s cognizance. He took a deep, shaky breath and shook his head. “I didn't either.”
“But you got the opportunity of a lifetime, how can I pull you from that?” Soonyoung rubbed his eyes the second he felt them grow watery. “I can manage. Your contract is four years, right?”
“Yeah, and the first year is going pretty well. You only have two years left, right?”
“Indeed!” Soonyoung giggled. “We can do this until then, I don't mind.”
“I still love you and no distance can change that.”
“Whoa, Jihoon—”
“Sorry, my lyrical side got the best of me.”
“No, don't be sorry. I like this side of you.” The taller one hummed as he nuzzled into his pillow while yawning. “I love you too.”
—
“Jihoon! Jihoon! Oh gosh, we’re gonna be late for the train!” Soonyoung panicked as he started shaking the shorter one. He saw how the other was in a deep sleep and Soonyoung squealed as he checked the time and pulls the blanket off, Jihoon groaning in response. Believing that would wake him up, Soonyoung who was rushing to the door looked behind and saw that Jihoon was curled up in a ball on the mattress, fast asleep once more.
Soonyoung whined to himself. Jihoon was the one who was leaving and yet he wasn’t worried about missing his train. He left to room, Jihoon peaking his eye open and smiling to himself as he snuggled into his pillow and hummed happily.
Suddenly, the door burst open, slamming into the wall and almost knocking the scattered cans of cola on the dresser off and onto the floor. Soonyoung turned the dial on his speaker to the maximum volume and adjusted the strap of Jihoon’s electric on his shoulder before he played a horribly out-of tune G chord. Jihoon immediately shot his eyes open and fell onto the floor, sprawled within the blanket while struggling.
He looked up with disheveled hair and a deathly gaze as he covered his ears, hoping that his ears won’t be damaged from the horrendous noise. “Soonyoung!” he yelled, grunting when he noticed that Soonyoung couldn’t hear him as he tried to attempt to play an F chord afterward. Thankful that he soundproofed the walls before they both moved in, Jihoon stood up and unplugged the amplifier from the outlet, Soonyoung whining.
“Hey, I was doing pretty well!”
“Yeah, wrecking my eardrums,” Jihoon sighed in relief as he fiddled with his ears to make sure they could still function. Soonyoung pouted and gently leaned the guitar against the amp before smiling and leaning his chin on Jihoon’s head and sighs. “What time is it?”
“Ten past nine,” Soonyoung hummed as he hugged Jihoon and pulled him in for a morning hug.
“Soonyoung… the train doesn’t leave until three in the afternoon… we’re not gonna be late…”
“But what if you need to pack something—”
“I double-checked my list last night.”
“What if you want to do last minute shopping for—”
“All the big things are on the truck on the way to Busan already.”
Soonyoung sighed in defeat. “Well, okay... “ he pulled back and looked at Jihoon lovingly and cupped his face before squishing his cheeks, making Jihoon whine as the taller one laughed. “Oh, I’m gonna miss doing this to you every morning. Every day.”
Jihoon noticed the facial expression on Soonyoung’s face and pulled Soonyoung’s hands off of his cheeks and slowly let them down, giving them a squeeze to gain Soonyoung’s attention. “Hey, I told you that we’ll make this work, okay? I’m only three hours away by train. Four by bus. Five by car, depending on traffic.”
“And only an hour by plane,” Soonyoung smiled, Jihoon snickering with him. “Okay… and we’ll send presents back and forth, right? Oh, are you going to buy me knick knacks from locals?”
“Ah, and waste my money on those things that you don’t even need?”
“They’re for aesthetics!”
“We’ll see,” Jihoon rolled his eyes while nodding. He smiled when Soonyoung pumped his fists in the air.
They did their daily routine as per usual: Brushed their teeth and washed their faces in the bathroom together, with Soonyoung always waving his arms around looking for the towel to dry off his face that Jihoon always held out for him smiling; making breakfast which usually meant heating up leftovers from the day before when Junhui treated them out since it was Jihoon’s last day; the constant teasing at their small table for two near their apartment window that looked out the area of Gangnam.
This is how it’s always been for the past three years. After they graduated university, they managed to snag jobs in one of the richest and most expensive areas to live in Seoul with a decent wage. However, Jihoon was offered a better opportunity to work in his hometown of Busan with higher pay. The two were thrilled before realizing that Soonyoung’s contract said he needed to stay in Gangnam for four years, this being his first.
Soonyoung offered to pull all of Jihoon’s luggages to the subway station that they were to take to the train station. Jihoon slung his backpack over his right shoulder after slipping on his shoes and turned around to see the taller one struggling rolling three baggages at the same time. He whined to himself when one fell over and he abruptly stopped the other two, causing them to fall as he picked up the first one.
Jihoon chuckled to himself as he went over and grabbed two of the handles and leaned on the balls of his feet to kiss Soonyoung’s cheek. “You’re sweet, but really, let me help. They’re all mine anyway.”
They walked out of their apartment, down the escalator, and onto the streets towards the subway station. They had one luggage in each hand, Soonyoung’s right and Jihoon’s left both holding a luggage in between them. It was a bit difficult and quite humourous to Soonyoung how Jihoon needed to stride in order to keep up with Soonyoung’s normal pace up the hill.
“Don’t say anything,” Jihoon grumbled.
“But it’s cute, Hoon!”
Jihoon groaned as Soonyoung smiled and giggled, the shorter one looking to his other side and blushing slightly.
The subway ride to the train station was about thirty minutes, which went by quickly to Jihoon as he leaned his head on Soonyoung’s shoulder and slept the entire time. Soonyoung, on the other hand, was stroking his lover’s hair and looking down on the ground to make sure the luggages didn’t slide around. The more distance they traveled, the more Soonyoung could feel his heart racing. The thought of Jihoon leaving him for so long was hard to swallow.
They walked off as they reached their stop and walked down the tunnel in the direction they heard a train whistle and train tracks moving. Soonyoung looked over and smiled at how enthralled Jihoon looked, a rare sight to view despite how long they’ve been together. He knew how much this meant to Jihoon. He shouldn’t get in the way of it.
The worker helped haul Jihoon’s luggages onto the train as Soonyoung and Jihoon were holding hands taking a gaze at the sleek locomotive. Jihoon inhaled the air around him and exhaled smiling. “I can’t believe this is actually happening.”
“I can’t either,” Soonyoung mumbled to himself.
Turning to face his partner, Jihoon squeezed Soonyoung’s hand. “I know you’re probably panicking on the inside, but thank you for supporting me with this.”
“Ah, you know me so well.”
“We’ve only known each other for, what, six years? I pick these things up.” He laughed as Soonyoung forced out a small chuckle before Jihoon sighed. “I don’t know when I’m coming back since I probably won’t be able to get a consecutive amount of days off, but I hope I’ll see you soon, hm?”
Soonyoung nodded and blinked when he felt his eyes water up. He whined and tried to move his face away when Jihoon reached into his pocket and leaned in to wipe his face. Chuckling, he smiled as he watched Soonyoung grab the tissues and wipe his tears by himself before pouting back at Jihoon. “Don’t look at me like that…”
“It’s cute.”
“Jihoon!”
“Hey,” Jihoon spoke softly, grabbing both of Soonyoung’s hands after he put the tissue into his hoodie’s pockets. He rubbed the back of Soonyoung’s hands with the pads of his thumbs as he started humming again. “I know that we’ll be far apart but it’s only physically. You’ll always be with me since you’re always on my mind.”
“Jihoon, stop! I’m going to cry again!” Jihoon smiled and continued with his lyrical, heart throbbing words as Soonyoung wailed and pulled Jihoon close to his chest and nuzzled his face into his hair. Jihoon laughed wholeheartedly. He usually hates it when his hair gets messed up, but if Soonyoung did it he didn’t mind. He wrapped his arms around the older one and rubbed his back.
“We’ll keep in touch, okay? Letters, packages, video calls, text messages, phone calls, you name it. We can keep this relationship alive and well.”
Soonyoung pulled back from the hug and Jihoon cooed at how the taller was still pouting and sniffling. His eyes were wiped again once more with another pair of tissues before his crying ceased momentarily. “Promise?”
Jihoon nodded and leaned in and pecked Soonyoung’s lips sweetly. “A sealed with a kiss promise.”
They stood there for a minute, background noises and voices ceased to exist. It was as if the hands on the clock slowly began to stop ticking, the irrelevant bystanders stop walking around in their hustle and bustle, and it’s as if the Earth spun so slowly that its rotation halted as well.
Having never experiencing this ecstasy-like event before, Jihoon shook his head before he realized how his heart rate was accelerating, how warm his cheeks were turning, and how unstable and shaky his legs were moving. Soonyoung felt it as well, though in addition to those symptoms similar to Jihoon, his forehead began to perspire, causing Jihoon to smile and reach into his pocket to grab a tissue and hand it over.
He always carried tissues in his pocket for Soonyoung at times like these.
Their shared trance was interrupted at the sound of the train whistle, the conductor calling for last minute boarding. Jihoon turned his head to the train before turning back to Soonyoung and hugging him tightly. “I love you,” he muttered into his chest before adjusting his backpack and running towards the train door.
—
“Hey, Soonyoung,” Junhui nudged his friend as he began to doze off. Soonyoung squealed, his elbow sliding slightly before he jolted up and sat up straight. Junhui sighed in relief, knowing that Soonyoung didn’t knock over his plate like he’s been doing for the past few weeks. “Do you want me to repeat the question?”
Soonyoung blinked as he adjusted himself in his seat. “No, no, I’m fine! Um, what did you ask?”
Junhui rolled his eyes in response. “I asked if you’re still thinking about switching to a new job.”
“Oh, yeah, I still am,” Soonyoung nodded firmly as he went back to cutting the toast drizzled in honey and chocolate syrup before stuffing the forkful into his mouth. “I’ve still been asking the manager if I can relocate to Busan.”
“...Busan?”
“Yeah, my contract is almost done and if I renew it, I want to ask if I can move to Busan!”
Junhui sighed as he watched his friend continue to eat his breakfast before they paid and headed back to their apartment. He glanced over and watched at how Soonyoung was looking up at the infrastructures and the various trees that crossed their path until they reached their building. Unlocking the door, he observed Soonyoung walk over to the pile of boxes that have been collecting dust.
“Are you finally going clean those up?”
Soonyoung gasped as he hugged the smallest and most recent one up to his chest as if he was insulted. “I’m going to look through them.” He sat down and blew off the dust, wiping the residue with his hand and grimacing in disgust at it. “I’ll just get a paper towel. Junnie, can you help me sort them?” he asked with a smile as he walked to their kitchen. Junhui shook his head in disappointed but began moving the moving the boxes around by date.
It’s been three years since Jihoon last sent Soonyoung a package. Or a video call. Or a phone call. Or even a text message. It was as if Lee Jihoon dropped the face of the Earth, yet Kwon Soonyoung disregarded this entirely.
Junhui overlooked his roommate’s phone as they were opening and going through the numerous packages, that have notably decreased in size over the course of this long-distance relationship, and saw all of the one-sided conversations Soonyoung was having with Jihoon. After re-opening the last box, he took a close look at Soonyoung who was humming a snippet of a song Jihoon sent him from the CD Soonyoung just placed down.
“Soonyoung,” Junhui spoke softly, the younger one slowly lifting his head. “Don’t you think…” he sighed wistfully, “don’t you think you should… y’know… give up?”
Silence dawned upon them before Soonyoung blinked in response. “Give up on what?”
“Give up on Jihoon.”
“I cannot give up on the love of my life!” Soonyoung astoundingly exclaimed. “Look at all these packages, Junnie! I still have to sort them out and organize them in my room and bathroom and our kitchen— and then I have to send Jihoon a text message in reply to thank him for them—”
The other dismally watched his friend ramble before he got up on his knees and walked towards Soonyoung and put his hands on his shoulder. “Soonyoung. It’s been three years.”
“He could be busy with his work!” Soonyoung replied as his grip on the box in his lap tightened. “You know what a hard and dedicated worker he is to his job—” His voice began to crack and Junhui noticed. “He probably changed his number… yeah, that’s it. He just couldn’t tell me because— he also probably changed his e-mail address. Maybe he moved to a new building too, so that’s why my packages have been returning back with the ‘return to sender’ label since last year.”
Junhui lightly shook Soonyoung who looked at him with eyes that had tears forming in them. He slowly leaned into Junhui’s chest and wailed before crying violently to his friend. Soonyoung continued to bawl for what seemed like hours as Junhui continuously rubbed his back and held him, feeling a little heart in his ache as well.
“I still love him, Junhui,” Soonyoung murmured through his tears. “I’m still in love with Lee Jihoon.”
“I know you are, Soonyoung.”
“Is it wrong to?” He looked up after pulling back a bit as Junhui frowned. “Is it wrong to still love him? After three years of not talking to me?”
“That’s up to you,” Junhui delicately answered. Soonyoung moved his head back to his friend’s chest and pouted to himself, causing Junhui to chuckle a bit. “If you want to love him, then keep loving him.”
It took a few more minutes for Soonyoung to calm down completely as Junhui helped him sit down on the couch with a blanket on his lap as he moved the boxes back into their original corner. He sipped on the hot chocolate that his roommate prepared him and sighed as he moved so that Junhui could sit next to him. He placed half of the blanket on his friend’s lap and sighed while tapping the sides of the mug.
“I still love him—”
Junhui blinked. “Then keep loving him.”
Soonyoung shook his head and looked up at his friend with a sad smile. “I love him, but there’s not reason to hold onto someone who doesn’t want to talk to you anymore.”
The other sat there to take in that sentence before he nodded and patted his back to comfort Soonyoung. “You’ll be okay?”
“Eventually.”
“At least you can say he was yours, hm?”
“Yeah,” Soonyoung exhaled as he leaned back against the couch. “Lee Jihoon was mine.”
—
Soonyoung got up earlier than usual one morning, beating Junhui who usually takes a light morning jog at eight in the morning. He quickly put on the nearest hoodie by his bedside and walked out after locking the door down the stairs. It’s unusual for him to roam the streets of Gangnam that had cars and buses that were beginning to fill the streets.
He stopped by one of the coffee shops that was just a few blocks down from the apartment. Opening the door, he was greeted by a friendly and welcoming smile at the counter with a nametag that read “Hansol.” It was a decently filled cafe, probably all employees who worked nearby, but there was enough space for Soonyoung to scope the place vividly.
Soonyoung wasn’t much of a caffeinated beverage drinker, but he remembers the taste of the times he had tried the various coffee drinks that Jihoon ordered when they went out. He wasn’t particularly fond of it, but he remembered how Jihoon said it kept him awake so he thought it was worth a shot. He settled on an Americano and a waffle topped with fresh fruit. Looking at his receipt, and mumbling how expensive this early breakfast was, he sat down at the table for two by the window. His buzzer on the table buzzed and shocked him. Another buzzer simultaneously went off as well.
Another person pulled his hoodie down and ruffled what appeared to be newly-dyed hair on account at how vibrant it looked. Soonyoung coughed and followed behind the person who surprisingly ordered the exact same thing as Soonyoung. The stranger took his tray with the waffle plate on it and went back towards his table. Soonyoung gasped and grabbed the cup of Americano.
“Excuse me, sir, you forgot your—”
He grasped the mug tightly and stiffened when he saw Jihoon set his tray down and turn around to walk over and grab the Americano, eyes widening in realization as he lifted his head up and they made eye contact.
And they stood there for a minute, background noises and voices ceased to exist. It was as if the hands on the clock slowly began to stop ticking, the irrelevant bystanders stop walking around in their hustle and bustle, and it’s as if the Earth spun so slowly that its rotation halted as well.