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Shadow squinted against the sun. He couldn't stand it, how could something be so bright and warming in the absence of…
Of Sonic.
"Do you ever think about the future?"
Shadow breathed in deep when he felt the vice like grip of grief seize his chest. It didn't help, grief squeezed him painfully, pulling at the jagged hole consuming him from the inside.
"I know living in the moment is my thing,"
It should be raining, the planet itself should weep for the loss of it's hero.
"But I keep thinking about all the things I want to do with you,"
Shadow could feel the tears welling, they were never far now, since that horrible day. He tried not to think about it, yet the memories persisted. Flashes of battle, the feeling of Sonic going still in his arms as his too bright life left him. He had screamed when it happened, desperately clutching Sonic's blooded body like it would stop his soul from fading and bring him back. His lone chaos emerald not enough to grant him the miracle he was frantically begging every deity he knew for.
"Like, are you going to still love me when I get old and lose my stunning good looks?"
Someone hooked their arm through his and he came back to himself, grounded by Rouge's ever steady presence. Shadow looked around at the small gathering in the woods of Green Hills, a place so dear to Sonic's heart. Everyone was holding back tears and leaning on each other for support.
"I wonder what you would look like all grey and wrinkled, kinda bummed I'll miss that,"
He braced himself before looking down, eyes settling on the one thing he had been avoiding, not wanting to see it. Not wanting it to make everything too real and remove that last shred of hope the annoying blue hedgehog would zoom in and cheekily ask why everyone looked so sad.
"Maybe I'll have to haunt you to see-hey! Ha, don't hit me!"
Sonic lay on a bed of flowers, shrouded in white. It hadn't felt right to put him in a box, or to cremate him, he loved nature and protecting it, it only felt right he be embraced and returned to it now he was resting eternally.
"I'll make sure where ever I go, once I croak, let's you in, think of all the adventures we could have!"
A sob rattled Shadow's chest, drawing attention to him. They all knew now what he and Sonic had shared. After his reaction when Sonic died, they had worked out what they had meant to each other. Amy grabbed his hand, giving him strength.
"Hey, don't look so sad, you are stuck with me for a while yet,"
This hurt so much more than Maria.
Everyone took turns to say something, little Cream being helped by a sombre Vanilla, Knuckles some how finding it in himself to joke about some stupid bet he had going with Sonic that would never be concluded now. Amy had struggled, but still managed to to say how she would love and miss Sonic for the rest of her life. Shadow couldn't do it, as soon as he opened his mouth to say how much his heart was broken, his throat tightened and his vision became blurry.
"Oh come here my grumpy hedgehog, I'll always be with you,"
Rouge held him as he broke down.
No one judged him, they carried on saying their piece.
"Even if the worst happens and I die tomorrow,"
Then it was time, they had all agreed that Shadow be the one to lower Sonic into his final resting place. Shadow dropped into the shallow grave, carefully treading the flowers that had be thrown in ready for the hero to be laid on. Knuckles was ready, carefully holding his friend for Shadow to take. He lifted his love gently, cradling him close and tried to fight off the memory of how he last held Sonic like this.
"You can find me in the wind that you feel when you run,"
"I love you." He whispered into Sonic's ears, "I always will, only you." Tears rolled down his cheeks, some splashing quietly onto the cloth covering the Blue Blur.
"Feel me in the warmth of the sun, or see me in the light of the moon,"
He laid Sonic down like he was the most delicate work of art, nestling him in his floral bed. Shadow knelt by the cloth wrapped body and lifted the shroud, wanting to see Sonic's face one last time. He regretted it instantly, Sonic didn't look right, too stiff, too dull. In death he held none of the vibrancy he had held in life. He didn't cover Sonic back up, he couldn't bring himself to. Instead he stroked the face that was absent of it's smile and had to remind himself to breath.
"I know it's kinda sad, but we all go eventually,"
"I will try to live a life you would have been proud of." He bent and kissed Sonic's lips for the last time. He wanted to lay there next to Sonic, like he had so many times when they slept, and let the others bury him with his heart. He had no idea how to exist without Sonic.
"Even you one day - stop making that face,"
"Shadow…"
He forced himself to look up at the sullen fox kneeling by the grave, hand held out like the most unwanted lifeline. Shadow reached into his quills and pulled out a photo, a selfie taken after a race, both of them out of breath and wind swept, wrapped around each other. It had been Sonic's favourite. With great reluctance Shadow placed the photo on Sonic's chest and took Tails' hand. Knuckles and Vector helped drag him out, almost like they knew what he had been thinking and were ready to grab him if he tried to throw himself back in the grave with Sonic. If only they would let him rot alongside the one person he would ever fall in love with. He received pats on the back but it didn't help the hollow feeling echoing inside.
"Look, that’s why we gotta live life to the fullest in the time we have,"
Seeing Sonic in that hole made it feel all too final, this was really happening, Sonic was gone and once again Shadow had been powerless to stop the one that held his heart from leaving him. The others came to the graveside one by one, giving Sonic a token to take with him and saying their last goodbyes to the person who had brought them all together.
"At least, that's what I figure."
It was too much, he couldn't watch this anymore. No one called after him as he walked away, giving him his space.
── ⋆⋅𖤓⋅⋆ ──
Shadow found himself back at the graveside a short while later. He had waited until the others had left before returning. The girls had covered the mound of fresh earth with the flowers Sonic had been laying on, making the scene morbidly beautiful.
The sky was growing dark, and the air starting to chill but Shadow did not move. It felt wrong to leave Sonic alone in the ground like this, sealed away, never to be seen again.
His mind kept drifting back to the night he had slow danced with Sonic in his bedroom, and the other hedgehog started talking about the future. It had only been two months ago.
He would trade every day of his cursed, eternal existence just to go back to that night and tell Sonic how much he adored him and hold him close, feel his beating heart and familiar warmth. He'd even take just one mere minute if it meant he could see Sonic once more.
A breeze tousled his quills, carrying the scent of the flowers on the grave. Shadow's gut ached, flooded with memories of when Sonic would pop up in his day, smelling like the floral fields he had napped in.
He lay down facing the flowers, wanting nothing more than his heart to stop and never have to feel the crushing loneliness that wanted to shatter him. He could almost hear Sonic telling him to get up and live life for him.
The wind picked up and Shadow caught the sound of laughter on it's wisps. Shadow sat up and looked around, he was painfully alone. The sound had come from the direction of the 'not wake' the others had vanished to.
He got to his feet, torn between seeking comfort with similarly hurting people and staying with his beloved Sonic.
A gust pushed him forward, making him stumble slightly. It seemed something wanted him to go to the others, he looked down at the grave and his gaze was drawn to the large sunflower resting over where Sonic's chest was. Sunflowers had been Sonic's favourite.
He could feel the tears threatening to spill, all the memories of Sonic smiling with joy at the simple sight of the big yellow flowers.
"I'll always remember you this way." He said to the wind, it's gentle caress soothing his exhausted body.
Then somehow, he found the strength to walk to the clearing where a fire had been started and everyone was sharing stories. Tails saw him first, and made space next to him on a blanket, waving Shadow over. Shadow sat down, listening to each anecdote shared and for the first time since Sonic died, he felt a little less raw.