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Keith stumbled through the front door bags slung off his shoulder to the floor. He sighed as he slipped his shoes off knowing Lance would hate him for not doing so. He knew his Husband and his pet peeves and would hate to upset him.
He just got back from his year long blade mission and he needs all of lances good graces. ESPECIELLY how they left things. He rubbed the back of his neck as his feet padded softly across the wood floorboard. He made it to the kitchen to grab a drink but his eyes instead landed on a paper. Then, a ring. He carefully picked up the ring before grabbing the paper and carefully reading it.
My dearest Keith,
You chose.
I know you have COMMITED your life, your word to the blade. I know they need you. That the world still needs you but I can’t live like this anymore. I can’t live alone, and in a state of worry my whole life. I can’t keep thinking that one day Kolivan will show up with your suit. Will show up saying you aren’t coming home this time. I can’t do it anymore. I love you Keith, I really do but it’s hurting me. All the calls in the middle of the night, your never home. And you chose your job, so I chose as well. I told you I wouldn’t be here when you got back. Im staying with my mother for now but I hope you got home safe. I hope you can find someone who can live like that but I can not. I really am sorry Keith. And it hurts because I really did, do, love you. Maybe I can come back when I’ve had a clear head. Maybe when you finally open your eyes and see that I’m here and I need you here. But maybe you won’t. Maybe you were always meant to be out there. In space. Saving people. And I was always meant fl be down here. Farming. Teaching students and just, waiting.
I can’t wait anymore. I can’t be alone anymore Keith. I can’t worry like that anymore. I hope you find what you’re looking for out there. I wish you the best to your life and whoever is lucky to have you. Please stay safe for me samurai.
Love,
Sharpshooter
Keith saw the tear drop fall onto the page as he read the last line. He thought Lance was bluffing. For all the times he’s known Lance, he never thought he would actually leave him. He thought he was bluffing. He looked at the ring and let his palm consume it as he brought it close to his chest. He felt his chest compress and his eyes burn. His throat closing in on him as his lips trembled. He felt the letter fall from his grip as he sunk to the floor and weaped. How could he lose such a saint of a man. A man who always understood him, and always looked for the best in him. Who never once doubted him and always looked out for him. He always set him straight. Lance. God lance. He kept Keith sane. He’s what drove him to come home from those missions.
“But shouldn’t I be able to make you stay?! Keith…. Please just for once. Stay.”
“I can’t.”
“Don’t think I’ll be here when you get back.”
“Ok…”
Keith could feel the weight of the conversation, no, the argument weigh on his shoulders. Keith thought it was a simple talk but he knew now it was an argument. One that was so deep and important to Lance. To Keith. One that Lance should have won but Keith decided against. He just thought Lance was bluffing. But he was wrong. Keith chose his path and Lance chose his. But it’s upsetting because Keith was lances path. Now Lance was trying to find a new one while Keith was still chasing the path to the blade.
“You can stay with me or go. I just hope you choose to stay this time.”
Keith frowned and rolled his eyes, “Lance this is important. It’s what the blade has been searching for over two years. I have to be there.”
“But what about me!? Keith I can’t keep waiting.” Lance yelled as he pushed him harshly, “I can’t keep waiting and wishing that your ok! That you’ll come back safe and sound! It’s hurting me.” Lances voice softened as he frowned and hugged himself.
“It’s only for about a few months.” He smiled trying to reassure but Lance simply scoffed. “You said that last time and it took you a year. When will it end?” He said sighing heavily and following Keith as he walked to the door, “when will you finally take the job offer at the garrison and stay with me?”
“Lance drop it!”
Lance scoffed and stood by the door, “fine. But shouldn’t I be able to make you stay?! Please? Keith just stay.” His voice cracked as he could feel tears well in his eyes.
Keith looked away and at the ground bag in hand as he stepped off the rustic porch, “I can’t.”
Then it was silent. Almost for too long.
Then the words echoed through Keith’s ears….
“Then don’t expect me to be here when you come back.”
He messed up.
All Keith knew is, he messed up