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Stiles is an adult, and that means he is actually allowed to do whatever he wants... Because that’s what adults do. Stiles knows he’s weird okay? He knows that. He just doesn’t want to be reminded of it constantly.
It all started when his mom died. He was young, but he remembers her funeral. He remembers that for a week he slept on the floor of his mom’s closet. He remembers when his dad gave him a box of his mom’s stuff to keep. Stiles still has that box. It’s tucked deep in the closet, he keeps it private, it’s full of his memories.
He’s home alone now, so he pulls the box out and sets in on the bed, pulls out each thing and lays it down gently. A perfume bottle. A silk nightgown. A black chiffon skirt. A red velvet blouse. A framed photo. five seeming ordinary objects. Intended to remind Stiles of his mother, But they remind him of other stuff now too.
***
Stiles remembers the fight like it was just a few hours ago. It wasn’t. He was just tagging along, Scott had to go see Derek and Stiles, as the best friend he was, Had to go along with him. whatever it was they had been talking about before he forgot, But he remembers the moment Derek leaned close to him and whispered.
“You smell like a girl Stiles.”
Stiles froze, He hadn’t thought that Derek could smell his mother’s perfume... Stiles hadn’t sprayed it on himself, all he’d done was a tiny spray on his pillow. He’d been missing her especially hard the night before.
He could still see the way Scott’s eyes had flashed as he whirled around so fast that Stiles could hear the seam in Scott’s jeans rip. Stiles could still see the way Scott wanted to kill Derek. Could still see the way he’d caught the older off guard and had knocked him back into the wall. He remembered the way his own voice cracked as he shouted.
“SCOTT. Just stop. He’s not worth it.” He remembers the tears choking him. “His opinion doesn’t matter anyway.”
Stiles remembers the yellow and white roses that were delivered to him the next day. The card had just two words.
I’m sorry.
***
Stiles put the perfume bottle back in the box, wrapping it gently in tissue paper to keep it from breaking. He picked up the picture. It was him and his mother, He was little, maybe three, They were at the zoo. He looks over at his dresser, there’s a photo there. He was at the zoo then too... But with someone else.
***
Stiles had no idea where Derek was taking him, at 9 am on a saturday in the last week of summer before he had to go to school. He just curled up in the passenger seat and tried to fall asleep. But obviously Derek was an insane asshole because Stiles ended up hitting his head on the window. When Derek finally stopped driving Stiles opened his eyes and looked right at the older man.
“Why are we at the zoo?”
“Because I want to donate you, You’ll fit right in with the other Monkeys Stiles. They’ll take good care of you here.”
Stiles huffed, smacking Derek’s shoulder and getting out. “You’re buying me a souvenir, and ice cream, and we’re going on the train.” He started walking towards the entrance. “I want to see the wolves first.” He smirked at Derek. “You have to tell me what they’re thinking!”
Hours later when Siles’ feet hurt, he was overstuffed with snacks, and he was so tired he thought he could sleep standing up. Derek quickly snapped a photo of Stiles, He was wearing the polar bear head-hat-thing that Derek had bought him, and he had smashed his nose against the glass of the otter tank.
Stiles remembers the day Derek handed him the photo. He remembers that he was getting ready to leave, getting ready to become a college student. He had laughed at his face, But the best thing about the photo was the frame. The frame had two wolves on it.
***
Stiles put the picture back in the box, Sighing softly. “I miss you mom.” He picked up the black skirt, smiling at the sound it made.
***
Stiles remembers the night he went to “the” bonfire, it was the first night home after freshman year had ended. The whole group had walked out to the middle of the woods, working together to clear an area large enough so they didn’t accidentally on purpose set fire to the dry leaves on the ground. He remembers the clean, familiar smell of the woods. He remembers how the leaves and branches crunched and snapped under their feet. He remembers the pile of leaves they had made. He remembers that Scott had tackled him into that pile of leaves, and then they’d had to go check themselves for ticks back at his jeep.
He remembers that after a few beers Derek took him by the hand and they walked. Far away from everyone else. He remembers how they’d kissed, his back pressed against a huge tree, slow and lazy til his lips were numb, and the tips of his fingers were frozen. He remembers that after a few hushed confessions and revelations they’d gone back to the fire.
The sound the fire made, it was just like the sound his mother's old chiffon skirt made as it swished around her knees when she walked.
***
Stiles carefully folded the skirt, smiling softly. He placed it in the box on top of the picture.
***
Stiles was lonely. The first night of college, The first night he was on his own. The first night he would cry himself to sleep. He’d brought his mother’s stuff with him, rifling through the box til he found the silk nightgown wasn’t too difficult. It was embarrassing though, Being eighteen and still having a security blanket.
He remembers tugging the material around his pillow. He remembers crying until the whole thing was soaked. He remembers that the next morning he carefully folded it and put it back in the box.
Stiles remembers Derek calling him. Just to check up.
***
The smile on his face now, it was starting to split his face. The nightgown went back into the box. He picked up the blouse. Sniffing the collar, that still smelled like his mother.
***
Stiles was so nervous. He was... Well his life was over, That’s it. Stiles was about to get married, and his life was over. But, their life was just beginning. He was standing in the little dressing room, alone, except for his father. Who was talking about things Stiles didn't even care about. Until they did.
“Your Mother, She would be so proud. She would have loved Derek.” He said softly, straightening Stiles’ tie and then smiling. “I’m going to go see if everything is ready.”
Stiles just nodded, licking his lips and looking in the full mirror in front of him, sighing. “Mom, if you can hear me... I wish you could be here.” He whispered, closing his eyes. When he opened them again, there she was, looking back at him from over his shoulder. She looked beautiful, exactly as she had the last day Stiles had seen her alive. A red blouse, her hair pulled up, and her favorite string of pearls around her neck.
“I am so happy for you, love. I am very proud, and I love you.” She said, clear as day.
When Stiles blinked she was gone, but on the rose pinned to his lapel was a single water droplet.
Stiles’ life was over, but he was marrying Derek Hale today... And their life was just starting.
***
Stiles put the blouse back into the box along with his other treasures, tucking it back in the closet. He had realized that he didn't need the things to remember his mother, they just made his memories clearer.
When he shimmied back out of the closet Derek was standing in the doorway, smirking at his husband. “What are you doing?”
“Hiding Christmas presents.” he lied smoothly.
Derek laughed softly. “You know she’s only a few months old, she couldn’t find them even if she wanted to. Plus, she doesn’t even know what Christmas is yet.”
Stiles smiled, leaning into his Husband’s space to kiss him lightly. “Yeah, I lied. I was remembering.”
“Remembering what?”
“My mom.”
“Were they good memories?”
“Always.”