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One and a half hour ago….
“Doyouwanttogooutwithme?”
“Sorry?”
Clarke took a deep breath before repeating her words with less haste and more clarity. “Do you want to... go out with me?” And apparently, she also said that with more nervousness.
Lexa stared at her in shock, trying to take into account that Clarke Griffin, her crush for the past five months AND fratboy extraordinaire, had just asked her out. Not wanting to be seen as rude, she snapped herself out of her daze and replied, “Uhm… yeah. Yeah, of course.”
Clarke visibly relaxed when she heard Lexa’s response. “Great,” she beamed. “Meet me on the Skaikru building roof. Does seven sound good?”
Lexa’s brain was still reeling from the fact that Clarke Griffin had just asked her out. And though Lexa was notorious for her commander-esque facade, underneath all that dark eye make-up and black clothing, she was actually a soft, useless lesbian at heart. (“Girls are just so… amazing.”) And so, being a natural born useless lesbian, her brain would immediately short-circuit when it came to girls.
“Uhm… Lexa?”
“Oh, sorry,” she apologized, blushing profusely. “Clarke sounds great, seven.”
Clarke quirked a brow at the response. And it wasn’t until three beats, when Lexa realized her slip-up. “No, wait, I meant seven. Seven sounds good.”
It was funny how Clarke was initially the nervous mess until Lexa was suddenly reduced to a fumbling girl. Clarke saw this as an opportunity to toy with Lexa a little bit. “So I don’t sound good?” she teased.
“No, no—“
“No, I don’t sound good?” Clarke feigned hurt. “You wound me, Lexa.”
“No, wait, of course you sound good… you always sound good. I just fucked my speech up because, well, my heart is beating so fast and I have no idea why…” Lexa trailed off. Realizing she made yet another blunder, she took in a deep breath and sighed, “oh, I want to leave town and set myself on fire. Do you think I can make it to Tijuana in one hour?”
Clarke smiled at how cute Lexa was. Everywhere else Lexa would have a stern look etched up on her face, and her words and voice would be firm. But then, standing in front of the library door with Clarke, her crush for the past five months AND fratboy extraordinaire she was brought down to a rambling love-struck teenager.
“If you leave for Tijuana,” Clarke started, “then I wouldn’t have a date with a very pretty girl in the next… one and a half hour.”
Lexa almost fainted when Clarke called her pretty. Actually, ‘faint’ is an understatement. She almost dropped dead on the spot (though, her panties would just drop).
“I’ll see you at seven then,” Clarke said with a smirk on her face as she began walking away, leaving Lexa alone in her state of shock.
“Wear something casual, alright?” Clarke shouted all the way down from the campus courtyard.
Lexa couldn’t even nod properly at the girl, but she slightly moved her head up and down. That had to count as a nod, right?
Two hours later…
Lexa opened the door to the Skaikru building rooftop in haste, only to be taken aback by the astonishing decoration. Fairy lights were hung from the knee-height walls, and radiated a soft glow around the whole rooftop. And in the center of it all, was Clarke, dressed in a tank top, ripped jeans and a snapback, sitting on multiple blue Disneyland throws. And Lexa noticed that the girl was just staring hopefully into the night sky.
Clarke saw Lexa emerge from the door, and stood up to greet her. “Hey,” she said casually. “I was starting to think you actually left for Tijuana.”
A tint of red crept up onto Lexa’s cheeks. She never had the intention to actually say that, let alone go to Tijuana and self-immolate herself. It was just that having heart palpitations and sweaty hands, all because of a girl, wasn’t something Lexa has experienced in a very long time. So of course those things wanted to make her run away. They brought back… thoughts - thoughts she had left on the shelf a long time ago.
Lexa dusted herself off before answering, “I couldn’t pick out an outfit,” she laughed.
Clarke teasingly raised an eyebrow. “Too many black clothes?”
“I’m indecisive,” she admitted. “Also, there’s nothing wrong with having a whole wardrobe exclusively for black clothes.”
Clarke raised her open palms in mock surrender. “Hey, I’m not saying there is something.”
“Whatever. Are you going to woo me, Griffin?” Lexa challenged.
Clarke only gave her signature smug smile. “Oh, darling, I thought I already have.”
(Lexa’s panties dropped for the second time that day. Well, metaphorically, anyway).
Clarke saw Lexa’s muscles move as she swallowed, most likely due to the Griffin Charm. “Relax, Lexa, I was just kidding. I still have to prove myself don’t I?” And with a gentle pull of Lexa’s hand, Clarke slowly brought Lexa to sit down on the covered ground with her.
Lexa didn’t know what made her do it, maybe it was the fatigue derived from pulling all-nighters in order to study the next quarter’s material, but once she sat down, she immediately fell gently on her back. “I’m not gonna lie,” Lexa began, “this is almost as good as my bed. And I have a feather pillow-top pad on my mattress, a comforter and a duvet.”
Clarke laid down on her stomach, just to Lexa’s right, and propped herself up on her elbows. “Maybe I could try it sometime,” Clarke teased for the third time that day.
And yet again, she managed to get Lexa flustered.
“You know,” Clarke started, “you’re not the kind of person I thought you’d be.”
This tore Lexa’s attention away from the sky. “Oh? What kind of person did you think I would be?”
“I don’t know. Uptight, I guess?” Clarke said as she turned to lie on her back.
Lexa smiled. “Am I uptight?”
“Well judging by how often you visit the library, how infrequently you hang out with other people, your 4.0 GPA and your austere expressions,” Clarke replied, as she sat back up to reach for something by her side, “you should be. But hey, who am I to judge, right?”
Lexa thought about this long and hard. She was only remote because she made herself so. And ever since Costia, Lexa isolated herself from the outside and turned to her studies. It was the only place where she felt safe. And what Lexa feared (and hoped) was that in no telling how long, she wouldn’t have to keep herself in solitude anymore.
Clarke turned back to face Lexa, this time holding up a bowl of assorted berries. “Would you like some?”
The brunette propped herself on her left elbow as she graciously accepted Clarke’s offer. “Thanks.”
“Of course,” Clarke replied as she lay the bowl between the two of them.
As Lexa finished her handful, she spoke up. “Not that there’s anything bad about it, but why did you choose this roof?” Lexa inquired. "You could’ve chosen a park or the movies. What’s special about the Skaikru building roof?”
“Well for one, nowhere else is as quiet as here,” Clarke answered. “And it’s the best place in the entire campus to look at the stars.” A soft smile played on the corner of Clarke’s lips.
Lexa chuckled at how Clarke could see the stars. There weren’t even three she could spot. “Yeah? Well I can’t see crap,” she deadpanned. Initially, Clarke didn’t reply, and so Lexa turned her head to see if she offended her in any way. But in fact, she turned her head to see a very pretty, smiling blonde. “What?”
Clarke smiled even more. “You’re very straightforward, aren’t you?”
“Please,” Lexa scoffed, “I’m anything but straight."
“I know, Lexa, which is why I asked you out in the first place.”
Lexa let out a hearty laugh. One she hadn’t let out in years. A small surge of relief and happiness coursed through her, and she immediately wiped the smile off her face.
Noticing the sudden change, Clarke lay back on her stomach to face Lexa. “What’s wrong?” she asked, concerned.
Tears started brimming at Lexa’s eyes when she opened them. And in an attempt to control herself, she took in a deep breath. “You are… something else, Clarke Griffin.”
Clarke tensed at the comment. “I’m sorry?”
Lexa shot straight up. “You’re strange. How?”
You know that one episode of Spongebob where Spongebob had little versions of himself in his mind working in an office, then suddenly all of them panicked and began looking for documents? Yeah, that’s what was going on in Clarke’s mind. “I-I’m not sure I understand,” she said.
“Years ago, I lost someone I loved. Her name was Costia. Costia Groundman,” Lexa started, watching as Clarke’s expression shifted from confusion to disbelief. “Yeah. You know her? The one that that stupid driver killed, all because he had too much to drink that night? I lost everything the night I lost Costia.” Tears were now flowing steadily from Lexa’s green eyes.
“Lexa-“
“Listen,” she cut off. “That was years ago. And ever since, I began surviving with my head and not my heart. But you make me feel like I lived those years in waste, Clarke. Three years. My head has been my foundation for everything I have built for the past three years. And now, you just walk in and start dismantling everything. How?”
Clarke sat up to tilt Lexa’s chin upwards and wipe her tears away with the pad of her thumb. “I didn’t know about Costia, and I’m truly sorry for what happened,” she said softly. “But shouldn’t life be about more than just surviving? Don’t you deserve better than that?”
Bloodshot and wet green eyes met clear, blue ones, and Lexa could feel her walls crumble. “Maybe I do.”
Unconsciously, the two leaned in close as their lips finally met. It felt like an entire lifetime before they did. Clarke’s lips were soft (which was very uncharacteristic for a fratboy-esque girl like her) and Lexa could feel the affection she was missing out on through Clarke’s lips. She forgot what it felt like: to care, to be cared for.
Their lips moved in perfect synchronization, and the two enjoyed every second of it. Unfortunately, they had to separate. Neither Clarke nor Lexa could risk fainting from the lack of oxygen. The two rested their foreheads against the other’s.
Lexa was swimming to the surface, she's coming up for air.