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The night before Ian Gallagher broke into his room with a tyre iron had been a rough night for Mickey Milkovich.
It had been his dad’s welcome home party, but this time, Terry got blind drunk and had ended up socking Mickey in the stomach. It was a usual occurrence, but this time he had leant in and hissed, ‘You fuckin’ fag.’
It’s not like he hadn’t said that word before, but the time he had been in prison this time had been the time when Mickey was finally realising he was gay. He was far from accepting it and he was never going to come out, but he was quickly realising that tits didn’t really do it for him. So when Terry had said that word, this time, it sent a shock of revulsion and anxiety through Mickey. He had gone into his room and hadn’t come out, just passed out on the bed.
Then he was woken up by Ian Gallagher prodding him with a tyre iron.
In some ways, it then made sense what happened next. They had gotten into a fight and Mickey had ended up on top of a squirming Ian Gallagher, tyre iron raised high in the air, ready to strike. Suddenly he had a boner, and as soon as Ian’s eyes flickered down to it, he felt sick to his stomach because Gallagher knew. Before he knew it, he had dropped the tyre iron and it landed beside Ian’s head.
Tears pricked Mickey’s eyes and he quickly scrambled off Gallagher, sitting up on the end of his bed and choking out, ‘Fuck off.’
Ian just stared at him in shock as Mickey started crying in front of him and when Mickey lifted his shirt to wipe at his eyes, Ian’s own eyes widened and he stepped forward. His hand was reaching out to touch Mickey’s bruised stomach. ‘What the fuck.’
Mickey stood, shoving him away and scowling through his tears. ‘I said, fuck off, Gallagher. Take the fuckin’ gun and just—’
He was shocked when, suddenly, Ian’s arms were wrapped around him tightly. Mickey couldn’t fucking believe it. Was Ian Gallagher really…hugging him right now? This kid had some massive balls to break into the house in the first place, but to then start cuddling angry neighbourhood menace Mickey Milkovich? Did Ian have a death wish or something?
‘Just shut the fuck up,’ Ian breathed, resting his head in the crook of his neck. ‘I get it, okay?’
Mickey had no fuckin’ clue what was wrong with him, but he had had a rough fuckin’ night and Ian Gallagher was hugging him and comforting him and he couldn’t help himself, alright? He ended up just sinking into the hug, letting a few tears slip. He didn’t hug back, but he just let himself be hugged for a minute. He hadn’t been touched in a gentle and careful way in a while.
Finally, when Ian pulled away, he looked him in the eye before leaning in and Mickey shoved him off, annoyed at the nerve.
‘Kiss me and I’ll cut your fuckin’ tongue out,’ Mickey snapped, tossing the gun to Ian and sending him on his way.
*
Mickey knew that if he went to a shrink — not that he would, even if he could afford one — they would have a pity party just for him if they knew about his sudden Ian Gallagher Hug addiction.
A week after Ian had hugged him, another shitty thing had gone down in his family and he really felt like he couldn’t handle it again. Almost immediately, he took off toward the Kash N’ Grab and luckily Ian had been the only one working. Without saying anything, he had stormed in and stopped in front of where Ian was sitting at the counter.
He didn’t even look at Ian, just stared at the counter until Ian said, ‘Okay.’
Ian went and shut the door, flipping the sign before leading Mickey to the freezers. They stepped inside and immediately, Ian’s arms went around Mickey, pulling him into his chest and just letting Mickey cry a little. It was only for a short while, Mickey just let himself calm for about ten minutes before shoving himself away from Ian and heading to the door.
Ian let him out and, to clearly try and lighten the mood said, ‘I guess this was like a cuddle call, huh?’ When Mickey shot him a flat look, he continued, ‘Like a booty call? But for cuddles?’
Mickey just rolled his eyes, wiping at them and wrapping his scarf around his neck. ‘Whatever.’
*
The third time it happened, Ian had come to Mickey. He had shown up at his door, teary-eyed and almost panicked, and Mickey had just agreed to meet him at the Kash N’ Grab, because like fuck they were hugging here.
When he had finally shown up, Ian was already in the freezer. As soon as Mickey stepped in, Ian was on him, arms wrapped around him as he sobbed harshly. Mickey hesitated for a second, just listening to Ian crying into his neck, before he raised his arms and hugged Ian back, just as tightly. Ian’s hands clenched into fists against Mickey’s back and he had cried even harder then.
That’s when Kash had walked in.
He had just seemed weirded out and Mickey knew he didn’t think anything gay was going on, but he couldn’t help himself when he came back and taunted Kash. That’s how he ended up in Juvie.
*
Although Mandy was his best friend, Ian couldn’t wait to ditch her. It had been a long few months since he had hugged Mickey and he was getting antsy. He just wanted to touch him.
It’s not like Ian never got hugged at home, but it just wasn’t the same. It wasn’t the same as Mickey’s careful touches when he was feeling vulnerable or tight hugs when he felt desperate. It didn’t give him the same feeling of comfort.
Finally, they were alone at the dugouts. They talked for a while before Ian couldn’t help himself anymore, wrapping his arms around Mickey and sighing in relief. Mickey had gone tense for a second, clearly not used to touch again, before settling down and hugging back.
The rest of the night, they didn’t want to stop touching and had just sat back in the dugouts, wrapped around each other and talking about stupid shit. The way Mickey talked was still abrasive and he still was emotionally distant, but he did it all wrapped up in Ian, so Ian really couldn’t complain. He had missed this, so much.
*
When Frank had caught them, they had been fucking for the first time.
It had started out as another one of their cuddling sessions, just talking about stuff and allowing themselves to revel in the gentle contact of someone who cared about them, but then Mickey had accidentally slid a hand under Ian’s shirt, touching his bare stomach. Before Ian knew it, clothes were being thrown off and he was on top of Mickey, and Frank was catching them.
Mickey had gone back to Juvie, but Ian couldn’t help but think that when he got out, there would be something to come back to for both of them.
So Ian waited for Mickey, just like he always would.