Chapter Text
Unknown Number
Unknown Number: hello montreal's 15th best player
i stole your number from shane's phone is he with you
?
pike i assume you know how to answer phone
answer me
Hayden Pike: Who is this?
How did you even get Shane's phone?
Unknown Number: oh so you can answer phone
i was worried you were terrible at everything
not just hockey 😉
Hayden Pike: Fuck you?? Again who the hell are you.
Unknown Number: relax
shane says you know about me this is lie?
Hayden Pike: I know about who?
Unknown Number: he says you are so nosy and always ask about me and do not leave him alone
now you have honor of talking to me and u will not even appreciate it
maybe i will not text you then goodbye
Hayden Pike: HOLY SHIT?
Boston Lily? Are you serious?
Unknown Number: yes this is me now answer my question
Hayden Pike: What question?
Boston Lily?: you can not be this clueless
are you with shane or not.
Hayden Pike: No. Why would I be with Shane?
Boston Lily?: he is not sounding right
like he is upset about something
Hayden Pike: Like at you? Are you fighting?
Boston Lily?: no we would never fight
we are both perfect
unlike you u are terrible
Hayden Pike: I have a loving wife thank you very much.
Also how do I know you're actually "Lily"? Shane won't even talk about her to anyone and apparently you're not even together.
Boston Lily?: oh yes jacki
she is very beautiful i can not belive she had 500 kids with you
do you have control powers?
Hayden Pike: Fuck you. I have four kids. And no I do not have mind control powers I am a very good husband.
See this is why I don't think you're Lily. Shane could never be with such an asshole.
Boston Lily?: oh yes i am texting worst hockey player just for fun
you have caught me
what ever will i do for you to forgive me oh great hayden pike
Hayden Pike: I'm blocking you.
Shane
Hayd: Hey buddy! How are you?
Shane: I'm good? Why what's up..
Hayd: Oh nothing! Just checking in.😊
Shane: Ok..
Hayd: What?
Shane: No nothing. How are you? And Jackie and the kids?
Hayd: Oh we're all great!
Speaking of my wonderful family would you like to come over and have dinner tonight?
Shane: Hayd. it's like 6:00 pm already.
Hayd: Yes perfect time for dinner. Jackie said it's fine just come over!!
Shane: Umm
Sorry, i'm kinda not feeling the greatest right now.
Hayd: You just said you were good though?
Shane come on
Pleaseee
Shane: Ok I guess.
I'll be there in 30. What are you making?
Sorry, what is Jackie making?*
Hayd: Now I see it you asshole. I can cook too.
But don't worry she knows all about your gross diet obviously. She's been making you food for years Shane.
Shane: You see what??
Hayd: Shit. Nothing. See you soon!
Shane: Hayden what are you talking about?
What do you see?
Hello?
LOML 🩷🍼
hayden🤍: Hi baby🩷
LOML 🩷🍼: hi love. what's up?
hayden🤍: So I kinda maybe invited Shane over without checking with you
And also maybe sorta said you were "perfectly fine" with it
But i'm thinking I probably should've checked with you first?
So is it cool if Shane comes over in like 20-30 minutes and eats dinner with us?
LOML 🩷🍼: hayden i am not your mother.
this is your house too of course you can invite your friends over whenever you want!
i'm just offended you said perfectly fine and not ecstatic i love shane
hayden🤍: You're the best. No wonder everyone loves you.
Just wanted to make sure you didn't have plans to not make disgusting food tonight or something.
LOML 🩷🍼: awe who loves me?
i hope you didn't tell him his food is disgusting. i have no problem making that man food.
but it's for a performance diet so ofc you don't understand 😉
hayden🤍: Everyone obviously.
Ugh you sound like that asshole.
LOML 🩷🍼: i'm sorry? what asshole?
hayden🤍: Oh umm
No one. There's no asshole obviously I meant Shane.
LOML 🩷🍼: Hayden Charles Pike do not lie to me
you would never call shane an asshole
who are you talking about
hayden🤍: That's not even my middle name and you know it.
Ugh fine
Boston Lily texted me earlier and asked me to check on Shane.
Well maybe Boston Lily. I'm not entirely sure it's not a prank.
LOML 🩷🍼: WHAT? THEEEE BOSTON LILY?
why have you withheld this from me omg tell me everything rn
also why did you fold so fast under literally no pressure babe..
hayden🤍: Well it only happened like an hour ago so I haven't held out much.
Also you know I can't keep secrets from you. You're my weakness😘
LOML 🩷🍼: or maybe you just can't keep secrets.
ok seriously tell me everything!!!
hayden🤍: You know what I'm blocking you too I'm not being indirectly teamed up on.
LOML 🩷🍼: you better not
hayden?
Boston Lily?
Hayden Pike: You are so dramatic.
Boston Lily?: oh so you did not block me
got my hopes up for nothing
also how dare you
Hayden Pike: Oh so you didn't steal my number and go behind your boyfriend's back to text his best friend just because he didn't text you back for 20 minutes?
Boston Lily?: oh so you did check on him
too bad he texted me back before you became useful
did he have fun at your house or do i need to put hit out on you?
don't worry we will take care of your family while you are gone they will not miss you
Hayden Pike: Seriously dude? What is wrong with you?
What has Shane told you to make you hate me?
Boston Lily?: shane? he tells me nothing
you know him canadas golden boy would never shit talk
i just make observations and have decided you are not good enough for hockey or your lovely family
Hayden Pike: This is seriously so weird who the hell are you?
How are you even with Shane with that bad of a mouth?
Boston Lily?: oh don't worry shane is very pleased with my mouth
and other parts 😉
sorry you are jealous
he is mine
Hayden Pike: Holy shit shut the fuck up no.