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Flux...is tired.
He'd always prided himself in being a person that always had a trick up his sleeve, illiterate or not.
But now?
After Magic, who'd he went to extreme lengths just to keep safe, just to keep his daughter friend safe, he lost to Saps the infection.
He just wished he was there for her when she turned. Or when she was even bit. Maybe then he could've kept her safe.
After Stella, who'd left without hesitation to chase after her sister, who never came back no matter how long Flux waited, he'd lost his second daughter friend right after the other.
After Thomas, who Agustus revealed to have been the reason they were stuck here in the first place, who apparently was only here out of his own fucking greed, who came here just to find something because he'd read the Wild West. He lost his first brother friend right after losing the rest of his family friends, one by one.
He doesn't know what to do anymore, honestly.
Flux came here with nothing, yet it still feels like he still lost everyone everything in this goddamn city.
Well...
All but one.
Yes, he told Thomas he'd leave the city, but if he'd told him the truth— he doesn't know how Thomas will react, especially because of who Flux is crawling back to in the first place.
As he tiredly walked back down into the lower facility, he remembered those haunting words that he told him before they had the "falling" out.
"You're never going to get rid of me, Flux. You know you'll always come crawling back to me, wether you accept that or not. You're going to regret not giving back that vial. I will do absolutely anything just to make you more miserable than you are now."
That's what he had told him. He didn't believe him back then.
Oh, how he regrets not giving back that goddamn vial. But then again, when had he ever done something that never caused more problems long-term for the people he loved?
"Stop. What the hell are you doing here, Flux?" Saps says, pointing an empty glass bottle at him.
Oh right, Flux had taken his gun earlier.
"I...I'm not here to hurt you. Anymore." Flux answers, raising his hands up. He looked almost... defeated.
Saps eyes him suspiciously before spotting the absolute defeat and honesty in his eyes, letting out a laugh in disbelief.
"Hah...HAHAHAHA! You...I told you that you'd come crawling back to me. What now, huh? No Thomas? No Stella? No Ma—" Saps hesitates on mentioning her, still trying to erase her cries from when she had turned infront of him, when Jawn had shot her without hesitation. "It had to be done, Saps, I'm sorry."
"...Don't bring them up. Please." Flux pleaded, a rare look of tiredness on his eyes. Saps isn't sure if the others had ever seen it, but he knows he was the only exception for Flux.
"Flux, you know I have barely any time left, right? I'm...infected." Saps says, dropping the absolutely burning hatred he had for Flux right now upon seeing how close Flux was to his breaking point.
"...I know, Saps. We can still use the machine."
"Flux, no—"
"Saps, please! You're the only person I have left!"
"I thought you hated me?"
"I...I don't know! I don't know, I don't know, I don't know anymore, okay?! Everyone's just...I don't know! Thomas is the reason we're stuck here—" Saps raises a brow at that, but lets Flux continue, "Stella left to find her sister, and Magic is god knows where!" Flux retorts.
"She's dead." Saps replies quietly, as if not wanting to tell him.
"...What?"
"Magic is dead, Flux. She turned and Jawn shot her." Saps repeats, louder now.
"You're lying. You're fucking lying." Flux snaps.
"I wish I was, Flux. I was there." Saps says, eyes softening upon seeing the shock in Flux's eyes.
"I failed them. I failed her." Flux says in disbelief, though it's so quiet Saps barely hears it.
"What?" He asks, trying to make out what he said.
Flux doesn't respond, face going blank, then anger, then...nothing again.
"I'm leaving this place."
Saps scoffs, shaking his head. "You're gonna fucking run away from your problems? Again?"
The look he receives is almost defeated. "I have nothing, Saps. Nothing."
"Didn't you just say you were infected? You were just—"
"Flux, stop. I was exaggerating, okay? I made a cure. I made it too late, but I drank it! If it works, then I can save other people out there!" Saps says, placing his hands on Flux's shoulders and shaking him.
"What good is it saving other people if you won't live regardless?! Please, Saps, please. I have no one." Flux pleads.
"...I'll see what I can do, okay? For you. If the cure doesn't work—" Saps is interrupted quickly by the former,
"Then we use the machine! We use whoever it takes!" Flux says.
"...Fine. Even if I don't want it, I'll do it for you."
Mr. Flux had told him that once you do something, you wouldn't feel guilty about it because it was in the past.
But then why did he feel like he was being overrun with guilt from the inside out?
Yes, he got rid of the gas so that there would be just enough to stop in this city.
He came here looking for something, anything that would help him make a future for himself.
In short, he's selfish. Greedy.
Thomas made sure the bus stopped here just so he could make money.
He feels horrible now that he's only realizing what a grave mistake it was once Agustus had yelled on and on about it to him.
He's lost so many friends here,
Magic,
Stella,
Agustus,
and even worse, Mr. Flux.
He'd never seen that much defeat in Mr. Flux's eyes before, in the long singular month he'd known him.
He'd never seen Agustus so angry at him of all people.
That doesn't even take into account how the other people on the bus lost all of their friends.
Jawn had gone on and on about losing every single one of his friends, Jophiel, Cynikka, Woogie and then Zora.
The Spidey girl and 'Jonathan' looked upset upon the mention of the 4C fellow, who Thomas learnt was dead because he was shot when he was less than thirty minutes away from turning into a zombie.
The orphan boy and Meagon both lost Gray and Micro.
He wishes he never done it. Taking the gas from the bus.
Maybe then all of the people who died or got infected in this place would be alive right now.
"This isn't worth it, atleast not anymore," Thomas thinks absentmindedly, glancing at all of the gold, diamonds and netherite in his backpack.
He doesn't know if he can ever feel this much guilt in his life again.
The worst part was how he walked back to the hostel, devoid of any of the people who used to live there with him, who were one of the people who even helped established the hostel as theirs.
The cake he'd left was still there, but it was no time for celebration.
Thomas fears there won't ever be a time for any celebration again.
The sight of his friends' things still here just made Thomas feel even worse.
Stella's flowers of hope were still in the chest she'd placed in a corner awhile back.
Some of Magic's spare hair ties she left for Stella were still hung around a ladder, just incase or so she said.
One of Mr. Flux's spare lanterns still lay on the edge of the hostel, the flame flickering every now and then.
There were still ink stains on the top platform from Agustus' note taking.
Thomas wants to throw up.
A little piece of memorabilia was still there, a piece of paper with each of their signatures accompanied by a small doodle.
Stella drew a flower.
Magic drew a magic wand, "Haha, get it guys? Because my name is Magic!"
Agustus drew a cat.
Mr. Flux drew a thumbs up. "Lameee...." Stella had commented, earning a flick on the forehead.
Thomas himself drew a little smiley face.
Now, Thomas wants to enclose it in a glass case to keep, just like the one Mr. Flux and Agustus made for the cake that has yet to rot.
Especially since it could be the last thing he'll ever get from his friends again, since, well, they weren't really around anymore.
Magic turned and was murdered by Jawn to avenge Zora.
Stella ran away to chase after Lyra and never came back.
Agustus hated his guts once Thomas confessed what he'd done and left him.
Mr. Flux looked at him with both disappointment and defeat when he informed Thomas that he was leaving the city.
And Thomas?
He doesn't know what to do.
Should he stay with another group of survivors? But with who?
The orphan boy and Meagon wouldn't take him in simply because of how much they hated Mr. Flux's guts.
The Doctor wasn't an option. Not anymore.
'Jonathan' and Spidey are going through a rough patch right now or so he's heard, and none of them were really that close anyway.
He has absolutely no one right now.
Would they hate him too if they found out what he did?
He would swear that he never meant any of this to happen, that he just wanted to make a name out of himself.
Would they too, yell at him, scold him, and worse— look at him with absolute disgust ans hatred just like Agustus?
Or would they look at him with a subtle glint of disappointment as if they were trying to hide it from him, just like Mr. Flux?
He isn't sure what's worse.