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Pearl coughed. Something was… Stuck. Lodged in her throat. Pearl coughed more, trying to displace it, trying to get it out. Eventually, a single rose petal fell into her hand. Pearl stared at it. No… No, no, no… What?! How… What?!
Pearl's breath rate increased. No… No this shouldn't be happening. This shouldn't be happening. No way. Pearl… Pearl isn't in love. She can't be! She can't be. That's not even denial talking, that's… She absolutely, physically, should not be in love. She'd worked out she was aromantic years ago, that… That hadn't changed. Not at all. There was nothing different here. Nothing had changed inside Pearl, there wasn't anyone she was thinking about wanting to kiss—bleugh—or… Really, anything romantic like that! There was nothing, it… Ugh.
Whether it was the flowers that were undoubtedly stuck in Pearl's lungs, or the way she was frankly, terrified by the prospect of being in love, she couldn't tell. Either way, Pearl couldn't breathe. She clutched at her chest, doubling over. This. No. No way was this happening. No way. She just… Needed to think about something else. Something else entirely. It was okay. It would be okay.
What was it Gem had taught her for panic attacks? In… Hold for 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… Out… And repeat.
Pearl's breaths were still shallow, but she just about managed to slow her heart rate down. It was okay. She just… Needed to ignore this. Maybe, if she ignored it, it would… Well… Not go away, but at least be manageable.
Another cough, and another rose petal. It was fine. She just… Needed to ignore it.
Over the next few weeks, Pearl's coughing fits were getting worse. She could feel the rose stems, riddled with thorns, inside, scratching at her lungs. Blood was starting to come up with the petals, and she felt like she was drowning. Every time it happened, she couldn't breathe, she thought she was going to die. Sat next to the toilet, with petals and blood in the pan, Pearl took some more deep breaths. Exactly how Gem had taught her. In… Hold… Out… Repeat… Pearl put some toilet paper to her mouth, and flushed the toilet.
She needed to keep sitting there for a bit, however. There was no way she was able to stand right now, she felt way too light-headed. She shook. It hurt. Everything hurt. Inside. There was stuff inside of her and if she wasn't careful, she would die. And… And Pearl didn't want to think about that. It hurt so, so much. And the worst part? She had no idea who she was supposed to be 'in love' with in the first place. There was nobody who she thought of Like That. Tears pricked at Pearl's eyes. She was going to die, and she'd have no idea who was supposed to be the cause.
Don't think about that, Pearl… Just… Focus on what Gem said. In… Hold… Out… Repeat. Pearl pictured Gem holding her hands tightly, that big smile, the way Gem was always there for her, no matter what, would always know if something was wrong. In fact, Gem always seemed to know when something was wrong with Pearl, and was the first—and only—one to notice the hanahaki. She'd sat Pearl down, and they'd agreed to go through a list of people Pearl knew. Pearl was to tell Gem if she loved any of them. She shook her head. Gem made Pearl promise that if it got worse, she should tell her. Gem was so caring like that. So, so wonderful…
Oh.
Oh.
But… What?! No… That's… Pearl's not 'in love' with Gem… Was she? No… No, Gem was her Best Friend, and she didn't want that to change. She was certain of that. So… What???
Pearl didn't have much time to think about the implications of the fact that it might be Gem for whom Pearl had feelings for, as another wave of coughing started.
And the door to the bathroom swung open.
"… Pearl?" came Gem's voice, anxious. "Pearl? You've been in here for a while… Everything okay?"
Pearl couldn't answer—her mouth was way too full of petals and blood.
Gem's footsteps approached Pearl's cubicle, and she opened the door slowly. While Pearl had no idea what sight greeted Gem, she was sure it wasn't a pretty one. Pearl tried to apologise for the state of her, but all that came out were more petals. Gem shook her head, and gave Pearl a tight hug.
"It's okay… I'm here… We'll- We'll get to the bottom of this! Don't worry. We'll work out who's the reason you're like this, and then you can tell them how you feel! It- It doesn't make you any less aromantic, don't worry. But for now, I'm here!"
As the last of this round of petals left Pearl's mouth, she just about managed to say, "No… No I know…"
Gem gasped, holding Pearl at arm's length to look at her, excited smile wide, "You do?! Oh, that's great! Who? As soon as you're feeling better, you can go and tell them!"
Pearl hesitated. On the one hand… It was terrifying. Admitting that she was—apparently?—'in love' with Gem (though she didn't feel like she was). On the other… She could already feel the next wave of petals in her lungs. She wasn't sure how long she had left before she couldn't breathe entirely, especially since her head was spinning.
"Gem…" Pearl said quietly, and very weakly.
"Yeah, who is it?"
"Gem… I think it's you?"
Oh… Oh no… Pearl could feel her heart rate increasing—if it even could increase any more than it already had. The silence was spreading between them both.
And then… Gem giggled. Pearl frowned.
"Ohhhh, I see what's happened here!" Gem hugged Pearl tightly, whispering her next sentences in Pearl's ear. "I love you too Pearl. You're my best friend, and nothing will ever change that. I love you so much. I promise…"
Pearl tried to hug back, until she started to have the worst coughing fit she'd had to date. Gem backed away, holding Pearl's hand tightly. Does… Did that mean it hadn't worked? Was Gem not the one she was 'in love' with?? Did Gem saying that they were still 'just friends' (even though Pearl preferred them as best friends) mean that Pearl was going to die?
A few minutes later, Pearl and Gem were sat in a rose petal-filled bathroom stall together, blood spattered everywhere. And the root of what seemed to be an entire rose bush in the pan of the toilet.
"Feel better?" Gem asked, squeezing Pearl's hand gently.
Pearl thought for a moment. Yeah. Yeah, she was. The full feeling in her chest was… It was gone. For the first time in weeks, Pearl felt like she could actually breathe.
"Much… Thank you… We're- We're still best friends, though, right? Like… I don't… I don't want to be in a romantic relationship with you… Not that I don't love you, like… I love you so, so much, with every fibre of my being. I love you more than I've loved anyone, but I… That love isn't romantic…"
"I think I get what you mean!" Gem said, smiling. "I… Feel the same way, to be honest."
A breath escaped Pearl's mouth. Oh. Oh, that… That was why. That was why she'd caught the disease. She'd spent the last few months worrying about whether or not Gem felt the same way, the same intensity of love towards Pearl that she felt towards Gem. Now she thought about it… Pearl had spent a lot of time thinking over all their conversations, and wondering if Gem felt the same way, if Pearl was just being Too Intense in her emotions again. But… No. She wasn't. Gem felt the same way.
Gem continued, tilting her head, "As I said… You're my best friend, and I love you more than anything. Just because you're my best friend… Doesn't mean our relationship is any less than a romantic one. We're not 'just friends'… We're friends. And that means so, so much! Nothing will change that. I promise."
Pearl thought for a moment. And then she hugged Gem. She was getting blood all over her best friend, but that didn't matter. Gem was always going to be there for her. Gem loved her. And while that love wasn't the kind that the world pushed as 'most important', it was still so, so much to both of them.