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ravenclaws are supposed to be intelligent, supposed to rise to the top of class with ease. well, it’d been six years and the only thing Albus Potter had successfully done was disappoint his father and smoke more muggle cigarettes than previously proven possible. he had started school with a passion for friendship, an innate joy in his heart, and a deep-seated worry that he’d never fill his father’s shoes. as the time wore on, the only piece of eleven-year-old Al that remained was the little voice in his head that refused to piss off, the one that spent every spare second it had telling him he wasn’t worthy of being a Potter. at first this motivated Albus- he had striven to be gentle and clever and good to the core, just as his father was. sure, he was a little bit awkward but why should he let that hinder him? he would impress his teachers and make long-lasting friendships and maybe do a little bit of saving the world if the opportunity arose. being sorted ravenclaw (a surprise to his parents but Lily had said she’d seen it coming) had been a setback to mirroring his father, but he told himself it was minor. yet, here he was, the first day (night? second morning?) of seventh year and he had no friends, no motivation, no school sweetheart, and a existence that was a meer minor detail to his older brother’s brilliant backstory.
merlin, how he had wanted to be like his brother, the strong and heroic gryffindor. James was everything Al had tried to be. he had been head boy, popular with his housemates as well as with his teachers, and he was well on his way to becoming an auror. alas, Albus was neither courageous nor charming and ended up a sickly thin, and terribly-too-tall shadow of the elder Potter brother.
so here he sat, or rather laid in his familiar bronze and blue four poster bed, pondering how he ended up so pathetically alone as he rubbed an ash mark out of his duvet. it was very late in the night- or early in the morning. he had set his schoolwork aside hours ago on the promise of getting back to it after a well-deserved break and had since been set on ignoring such work’s existence. he was quite sure his roommates had finished their work days ago (if only to move onto more exciting subjects of personal research) but Al, ever the studious ravenclaw, had made the decision to procrastinate every assignment to the very last minute in third year. another downfall of being a ravenclaw- the ridiculous academic pressure. well, at least to underachievers such as himself.
every year at hogwarts proved more of a chore than the last one. he had barely passed his owl exams, coming home with the worst marks of the ravenclaw fifth years. Albus groaned as he thought back to his previous marks. he fell back on his bed with a thud, eyes closed tightly as though he might be able to shut away any repressed memories. sometimes Albus would go to sleep not out of lack of energy (because honestly when you’re this tired all the time, it’s hard to ever feel tired enough) but to avoid being awake.
“what the fuck, Potter, are you wanking?” hollered one of his roommates (probably Thomas-Finnegan, the bastard) in such a loud way that either confirmed Albus’ suspicion that it was morning or confirmed that he had the worst roommates in the world. as the room collectively whinged and bitched but began their pre-class rituals, Albus suspected it was both.
he buried his face in his pillow and wished he could smother himself without making any more embarrassing noises. he instead settled for a calculated and subtle rebuttal.
“go fuck yourself Finnegan,” he groaned once more, in a beautifully graceful Potter way (honestly, what was so wrong with the wizarding world that it was capable of thinking the Potters were calm and collected? he had never a spare moment in his house where someone was not yelling or yelping) and decided it was as good a time as any to begin his miserable day. he tumbled out of bed and rubbed his hand over his tired skin.
“hey, the celebrity son finally emerges into the morning light!” cheered Thomas-Finnegan, his sidekicks (evil henchmen, Albus would add) Marcus Hollie and Travis Trevino cackling behind him. Albus shook his hair out of his face and glared up at the leader of the group. Thomas-FInnegan smiled viciously back at him and pulled him by the hand up from the ground. Marcus Hollie pat Al on the shoulder with a gentle smile, one that Al had been vaguely in love with in fourth year but had since come to recognise as mocking.
“ready for transfiguration, mate?” Marcus asked, his voice just as gentle as his smile and just as full of hidden malice. Albus looked at him through weary eyes and shook his head in a silent ‘no’. the brunet boy shrugged and followed the other two boys out of the room.
Al decided to take a shower, gathering his things together as quietly as possible so as not to disturb the remaining sleeping roommate. Scorpius Malfoy was not to be woken up in the morning under any circumstances not dire- Al knew this much from the years sharing a room and the summers sharing the Burrow (Rose and Malfoy were friends, sharing a common morbid sense of humour, and often spent nights at each other’s houses. this had worried Uncle Ron but had not since Scorpius came out as a bonafide homosexual- Scorpius had been welcomed from there on with wide open arms and only mildly dubious glances between the two friends). after a quick shower that had quickly run cold, Al tried to dress as quickly as possible in order to make breakfast in time to drink his weight in tea. there was no way that he could make it through transfiguration, double potions, and arithmancy on pure human endurance alone.
when he returned to the room Scorpius was still not awake, curtains thrown open and a short pale limb hanging off the bed. Albus grimaced but steeled himself for the task he would have to endure next. over the years, as Al had a tendency to procrastinate everything including going to class, he had become the official wake-the-dragon-if-he’s-bound-to-be-late man. Finnegan and Hollie always left early and Travis Trevino was somewhat convinced that touching Scorpius might turn him gay (“hey Scorpius, what’s up? er- i don’t mean that in like, a gay way. no homo. not that i mind, it’s just- ya know, not for me. okay well, see you later, Malfoy. i mean, not like as in a date-” “go away, Travis, please”), so the job fell on Al’s shoulders. not as if Scorpius could infect Al with the boy-kissing-flu anyway, he’d come down with it all on his own- not that anyone as inconsequential as Travis Trevino knew.
Albus walked to Scorpius’ bed and tensed his body as he tapped on the pale boy’s shoulder. a low grumble and a flick of a pale, limp wrist were the only response. Albus sighed. he was going to be late at this rate. oh well, he might as well keep his streak of not being on time to a single morning class for the past four years. maybe he’d break a record? he doubted he could beat Teddy Lupin’s.
“shh,” murmured a sleepy voice, though the pale body moved not, “i think if i try very hard and shut my eyes very tightly, i might disappear and then i’ll never have to go to class again.”
that Albus could relate to. this was how he was friends with Scorpius- they seemed to have the same abhorrence to facing actual humans before noon.
“c’mon Malfoy, i’m gonna leave without you if you don’t get your scrawny arse out of bed soon.”
“go on without me- give Rose my dearest regards. i think i’ll stay here, practice my wandless apparition, perhaps with my eyes closed,” Scorpius replied, though his actions betrayed his words. he shifted onto his other side and looked up at Al with reproachful grey eyes, pale eyelashes fluttering in an attempt to shake sleep from his being.
“see, while i’d much prefer to stay here and do just the same, we really have to get to class. you know how much Rose disapproves of skiving off class. she’d be well disappointed in you,” Albus replied, and yanked Scorpius to standing by his wrist. Scorpius shot him an empty glare, really just for show, and sulked his way to the bathroom. Albus snorted at the blonde and gathered his school books. he didn’t bother to bring quills- Scorpius seemed in one of those moods of his where he made every attempt to direct the professor off subject. no point in trying to take notes.
they left with ten minutes before class started and barely made it to the great hall. Albus most likely set a world record for hot cups of tea downed in three minutes (5 and a quarter- the other 3 quarters were spilled all over his shoes as he rushed to transfiguration, not that he’d noticed) and Scorpius most likely set a world record for snappy comebacks to rude jokes in the same said three minutes. they’d left together with Rose and her other ravenclaw friends, Andrea Gregory (prefect and transfiguration extraordinaire) and Dorothy Hobart (head of the ravenclaw quidditch team and resident muggle expert). they were an incredibly achieved bunch and it was no wonder Rose spent all her time with them rather than her own housemates. Add to them Head Girl (Rose, herself) and Head Boy (Scorpius) and Albus felt rather pathetic around them. he was just appreciative that Rose let him trail them around and sit with them and such. it wasn’t as though they were his friends, but he supposed an illusion of friendship was better than being completely alone.
in class, the room was divided into gryffindor and ravenclaw pairs, Albus paired with one of the gryffindor prefects, Harry Fordear. Harry was a bit plain, rather boring, and was named after Al’s father, which made it odd to call him by first name, but he had very nice, wavy blonde hair so Albus couldn’t be bothered to mind. Scorpius and Rose sat in front of them, paired together as Head Boy and Head Girl tend to be. Albus found this seating arrangement rather unfortunate as Harry Fordear had a bit of a crush on Rose and as a result, managed to muss up his projects often due to staring at her hair or the freckles on her dark shoulders for too long. Albus found it a bit sickening if he were to be outright. he suspected Malfoy felt the same way as occasionally he would lean back in his chair and whisper a biting insult about mindless gryffindor boys in Al’s ear, then shoot him a far too charming grin and straighten his chair, his attention directed once more to taking notes.
transfiguration dragged on endlessly, but once it finally ceased, Albus had a free period before double potions (which he had taken on account that it was the only course he wasn’t hopeless in- he was in the advanced group as well, so his fellow classmates were few; the class only had about 8 or 9 participants) and he planned to get a nap in before suffering through it. Malfoy also had the class but Rose had ancient ruins instead so they parted ways and the blond ended up walking back to ravenclaw tower with Al, as he almost always did. they walked in an almost companionable silence- Al liked these quiet moments more than he’d really like to admit.
Scorpius trailed him into the common room and up to their dorm and locked the door behind him- Albus really was the only person that had ever survived waking Scorpius from his sleep without major injuries, either physically or emotionally. the blonde flung himself onto Al’s bed in his own trademarked dramatic way.
“if i had to choose between listening to McGonagall lecture or fucking a werewolf with an agenda, i think i’d choose the werewolf- at least the werewolf would have to finish at one point,” Scorpius complained. Albus snickered softly and then softly nudged Scorpius to one side of the bed. Malfoy was a tiny thing, barely hitting 160 cm, and took up very little space when not splaying his limbs for dramatic effect. Albus folded his much lankier and heavier frame up onto the four-poster with him. Scorpius still took up more space than he needed to but Al couldn’t find reason to complain. he had never minded Scorpius’ tendency to bed-hog (even when forced to share a twin bed at the burrow, prior to fifth year and his revelation of preferences, Albus had always been fine to take up as little space as possible- somehow it made him feel less invisible) and put up with it with a small smile.
“Albus Potter, how do you sleep on the same duvet you’ve had for the past seven years?” he asked, fingers running mindlessly over the soft and worn surface. he still talked to the ceiling, grey eyes half open and sleepy as they tended to be after long lessons.
Scorpius generally got at least eight hours of sleep at night, Albus would guess, but he seemed endlessly tired. Albus couldn’t help but be envious of his ability to just sleep whenever and wherever.
“i dunno, i just never minded,” he replied, running his own, much longer fingers over the duvet. it was much softer than when he had originally been given it, but much smellier too. “it’s just so soft- i think i’d miss it it too much at this point.”
Scorpius looked from the ceiling to the other boy’s face to make eye contact and his over-dramatic expression of distaste morphed into something softer that matched his sleepy eyes better. Al gave him a dopey smile and closed his eyes.
“yes, i think you’re right,” Scorpius replied, “it’s very soft. so much better to nap on than my bed that i think i’ll stay here. wake me up for potions, yeah?”
Al nodded but didn’t open his eyes. he felt Scorpius shift and turn his back to him.
“Mister Thomas-Finnegan, where are Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy?”
Thomas-Finnegan lazily smiled at the professor and laughed.
“well, i’m assuming they’re on their way from our dorm. you know, just late, as they are every other day.” just as he spoke, a flushed pair of ravenclaws burst through the door.
“sorry, Professor, we just fell asleep on our free period,” Scorpius Malfoy explained with a devilish smile. Thomas-Finnegan rolled his eyes. Albus sleepily walked in behind him, hair even messier than usual. they sat down next to their dormmate, Scorpius doing so with a flourish. “won’t happen again!” he cheerfully assured. Even the professor rolled her eyes.
Albus blinked slowly, confused, but shook his head and pulled out his materials with a hint of shame burning in his cheeks- of course, first day back and he’d been late twice already. what a bloody idiot he was. late to everything. Merlin, he was the worst ravenclaw.
it was lunch hour and Rose was having an in-depth discussion with Josephine Clearwater, a gryffindor prefect, about different methods for smuggling various illicit substances into the building (Al suspected that all the prefects were giant hypocrites and the only reason they had their badges was because they were the best at avoiding being caught- and so became the catchers). Albus sat at the very end of the ravenclaw table, across from the two girls and next to Scorpius, and wondered why they didn’t sit at their own table to have such long and tedious discussions. he supposed he was thankful for it because then at least he wasn’t alone.
Albus glanced at the boy next to him, who seemed to be putting all his focus into flicking peas into Rose’s curls. his face was one of concentration, one eye scrunched shut to aim and his lower lip trapped by his teeth. Al couldn’t help but stare. Malfoy was pretty, like a girl, so it wasn’t really even his choice. everybody stared at Malfoy, with his wavy blonde hair that he tucked behind his ear occasionally (but to no avail) and his long white eyelashes and his delicate features. he had heart shaped lips that were darker than any boy’s had any business of being. Al could look at him for the rest of his life and not even complain much.
“Al?” Scorpius asked the darker boy, who had actually started to stare a bit too much.
“hm?”
“what’re you thinking about?” Scorpius was looking at him with his big grey eyes, a small worried frown etched in his face. Al shook his head and let his hair fly into his vision.
“nothing, don’t worry about it,” Al replied, because that was the right thing to say, and he knew Scorpius was only asking to be polite. still, Scorpius looked concerned, with one pale eyebrow raised. Al sighed. “really,” he insisted. slowly, one corner of Scorpius’ mouth turned up and he nodded gently.
“okay Potter, if you say so.”
“i do,” Al assured, “say so, that is.”
Scorpius laughed a bit and turned back to the two girls in front of them. he leaned across the table and picked a pea out of Rose’s hair and tossed it into his mouth. Rose frowned and paused in her conversation to scowl distractedly in his direction.
“Albus and i are going to hit the dorms,” he remarked with a wink, and tugged Albus to stand, “farewell, ladies.”
Rose rolled her eyes and went back to her conversation with Josephine, who had started to give the two boys an odd look.
Albus and Scorpius took their time to stroll through the corridors to ravenclaw tower.
Scorpius hadn’t let go of Al’s hand but Al assumed he had just forgotten and he wasn’t really that inclined to remind him. the blonde boy bumped Al’s shoulder with the side of his head. he seemed much smaller this way, standing right against Albus. he was less of a character and more of a human being.
“are you and Rosie coming to the manor for boxing day?” Scorpius asked in a voice quieter than his usual booming bravado. “holidays and such have been lonely since mother passed, you know? father really isn’t the same.”
“i’m sure Uncle Ron would appreciate it if i accompany Rose. the manor still makes him uncomfortable,” Al replied, resting his cheek against the top of Scorpius’ head. Scorpius was slightly too short for it to be comfortable but Al enjoyed the contact anyway. “would you mind if i came?”
“no,” Scorpius replied quickly, then went silent for a while. he breathed in deeply then made a small strangled noise. Albus looked down at his face.
“are you okay?” he asked, “do you need some space?” he quickly let go of the smaller boy’s hand and stepped away. Scorpius said nothing but breathed out another strange noise, one that sounded like it was out of frustration. “Scorpius?”
the boy breathed out heavily once more. “it’s nothing, Potter. let’s just- do you want to go to the library? i want to go to the library. i bet everyone is still at the grand hall,” Scorpius finally replied, walking faster than he had before, and in front of Al rather than next to him. Al frowned. he didn’t even know how, but he had managed to upset Scorpius. he was awful, he couldn’t believe himself. this was why Scorpius liked Rose so much more than him. Rose would never have done this. Rose always knew the right thing to say. fuck, why couldn’t he be more like Rose?
Scorpius sniffled a bit and Albus looked up sharply.
“allergies?” he asked quietly, not wanting to upset the boy further. he transfigured a spare piece of parchment in his pocket into a handkerchief and handed it to Scorpius. Scorpius looked at it for a second and, shaking his head, snatched it out of his hand.
“Potter, you are the most ridiculous person i have ever met,” Scorpius told him with a watery laugh. Albus squinted at him.
“um,” he replied, “thank you?”
Scorpius laughed again, this time the way he usually did, and shook his head.
“oh,” he pointed at the sign above the doors in front of them. they walked into the library- Malfoy had been right, there were very few people there. Albus only noticed two, in fact. one was Poppy Hook, a slytherin seventh year that scowled at them as Scorpius accio’d a book that almost hit her in the back of the head on its way over. the other was a rather frantic fifth-year gryffindor, probably studying for their OWLs.
they chose a comfy sofa near the fireplace (Al secretly wondered if the books were fireproof- surely this was a fire hazard?) and sat down. Albus slipped the book he had been reading earlier in class that day out of his bag and Scorpius sat surrounded by piles of books he had accio’d from all over the library, surely with the intent of reading the chapter he found to be of interest and then setting the book aside and moving on to the next.
they sat in silence for a long while, only disturbed by a moment of amusement in which Scorpius had shoved his cold (and tiny, Al noted) feet underneath Al’s thigh. Al had jumped and Scorpius had snickered at the dirty look Albus shot him. soon, though, the time for their next class came and Al had to shake Scorpius out of his concentration.
“c’mon Malfoy, we have to go now.” Scorpius groaned and dragged his eyes to the clock on the wall in front of him. he grimaced.
“can’t we just skive off? this is just getting interesting,” he complained, his attention back on his book. Albus sighed.
“Rose will be upset-”
“Rose can mind her bloody business. i’m finishing this.”
Albus frowned. Scorpius could be so bloody stubborn sometimes. he knew it was probably time to give up. “the library is the first place they’ll look for us. we’re ravenclaws, for merlin’s sake.”
Scorpius seemed to regard this for a second. he nodded. “you’re right,” he said as he slipped the book into Al’s bag, “let’s go.”
“oh good, this will save us a lecture from Rose.” Scorpius shot Al an intolerant look.
“i’m finishing my book,” he said, punctuating each word with a fierceness Albus didn’t have the energy to combat- he was devoting his attention primarily to disguising his horribly unsubtle staring at Malfoy’s face of complete determination with something close to awe.
they ended up sitting by the lake, underneath a rather pissed off tree. Scorpius didn’t seem to mind but Al kept getting almost hit by a branch. Albus would put up with it though, because Scorpius had been looking (with his hand not his eyes) for a quill earlier to write a note in the margin of the book (as though it was his) but had put his palm over Al’s hand instead and left it there.
the semi-peace ended soon when Rose Weasley stormed up after class was over and lectured them in her coldest and angriest voice. Albus felt ashamed but Scorpius had laughed the whole way through as though it were the funniest joke he had heard.
it was late and Scorpius had gotten pissed off firewhiskey and low quality mead in the gryffindor common room with Rose (along with the rowdier ravenclaws that were brilliant enough to smuggle such substances in) and subsequently had to be carried back to the dorms by Albus. the small blond was dramatic enough sober that attempting to take him seriously while drunk was an impossible feat for even the strongest and most patient wizard or witch. he had insisted that he really was quite fine and he could definitely walk back to ravenclaw tower and he would be stealthy enough not to be caught on his way (he made a heartfelt speech about it, complete with large hand gestures and various pauses where he had forgotten what he was saying and where he was) but four steps after a firm declaration that he, indeed, was not a lightweight, he promptly tumbled over his own two feet and requested Al (who had barely drank anything, just enough to feel a gentle buzz in the back of his skull, happy to smoke muggle cigarettes in the corner and watch the chaos ensue) to ‘drag’ him home. Al, of course, did get him home because he happened to be incredibly vulnerable to big grey puppy eyes- even hazy, drunk puppy eyes. also, Rose was terrifying, even while intoxicated, and she had threatened him with a strangely ominous ‘you will do this for me, okay?’. he didn’t think there was a single ravenclaw with the bollocks to challenge Rose Weasley and did not fault himself for surrendering right away, lest he acquire any injuries.
they arrived at the ravenclaw tower half past one, miraculously, without any run ins with Peeves or FIlch. they had almost gotten caught once when they were closer to gryffindor as Scorpius had started yelling the lyrics to a Weird Sisters song, but since that moment Al had kept one hand firmly clamped over Malfoy’s mouth and they had no more trouble of the sort. shuffling through the common room, Albus finally released his grip and peered down at Malfoy. he was looking about the room in that sort of lazy way that Albus couldn’t help but admire, with his eyelids only halfway open and his lips partially parted. Albus smiled to himself.
“i’m so ready to go to sleep Al, i’m so very tired,” Scorpius was saying, “can’t we just sleep in here, by the fire? i’m so co-o-old.”
“c’mon Malfoy, just a little ways to go before you can pass out on a nice warm bed, yeah?” Malfoy pouted his bottom lip out in protest but Albus just smiled crookedly at him and tugged him up the staircase by the wrist. they slowly tiptoed up the stairs, avoiding the parts they knew to be creaky. their dorm door had always jangled a bit when it opened but they were basically safe at that point and couldn’t be bothered to try to silence it.
they were met by Travis Trevino’s (fucking foghorn) snoring. Scorpius stumbled in first, Albus not long behind him to steady him as he attempted to walk. they made their way to their beds and changed into pyjamas, Al shoving the first shirt and sweats he found at Scorpius. he yanked his own robe and shirt off his body and sat for a second on his bed, shirt in hands, robe discarded to the floor, blinking wearily. he watched Scorpius fumble with his own shirt- which looked to actually be Thomas-Finnegan’s and hung off the much thinner and shorter boy at all the wrong angles, hitting the tops of his thighs.
the sweats, Malfoy must have decided, were more trouble than they were worth and he sauntered (albeit a very wobbly and unsure saunter) over to Al. he set one hand on his hip, missing the first time but hitting the spot right on the second time, and stared at Albus as the boy shimmied out of his own trousers and hopped into his bed.
“Malfoy, can i help you with something?” he asked when Scorpius hadn’t gone to his own bed yet. Scorpius frowned deeply, then he unceremoniously shuffled across Al’s legs to the other side of the bed.
“i’m so co-old,” the blond whispered, as though that should be explanation enough, and curled up underneath the duvet. Al opened his mouth to argue but he couldn’t make any defensive words come out so he shook his head and turned over onto his side to go to sleep.
as he lay on his third of the bed, he tried not to think of it as anything but one of Malfoy’s drunken antics. he knew, in the morning, Scorpius would still just be Rose’s gay best friend just as well he knew that, in the morning, he would just be Rose’s awkward straight cousin. not even the cold hands that were pressed against his back nor the bony knees pressed against his thighs meant much. this was just the way of Scorpius Malfoy. he was dramatic and obnoxious and he would do whatever he wanted, no matter what, and no one would stop him.
Al was suddenly very tired, with pinpricks in the corners of his eyes. he tried not to but all he could really think about was how uninteresting he was compared to the other boy. he was just- was just Al. people barely even thought of him as a Potter. how could someone so average come from such an extraordinary background? he was just Al and he would always be just Al and he could never change that. he was shitty-ravenclaw, unmanageable-hair, nothing-to-say Al.
“stop thinking, Albus,” Scorpius whispered into his ear, “i can hear you thinking, your brain is so loud.” he put one small hand over one of Al’s ears. Albus tried not to lean into it too much.
“sorry,” Al said, his voice almost too quiet to be heard. he rolled over onto his other side, facing the Malfoy boy. said boy opened his eyes- not much, just enough to look up at Albus.
“it’s okay,” Scorpius replied. he frowned suddenly, “are you okay?”
Albus hurried to clear any evidence of his own emotion from his face.
“yeah, i’m,” he cleared his throat and Scorpius squinted at him, “i’m good, i- i think.”
Scorpius dragged one hand up to Al’s face, his fingertips dancing across the other boy’s tanned and freckled cheekbones. he leaned his head in, so his forehead touched the top of Al’s chest and his the top of his hair tickled his chin. he studied the other boy, took in his dark eyelashes, his messy hair, the wrinkling underneath his eyes from lack of sleep. he dragged a thumb across a mole by his temple.
“you know, i think i know you better than anyone else does,” he said in a hushed but urgent tone. Al frowned.
“you do?”
“yeah,” Scorpius nodded, “i think i do.”
“what do you mean?” Al asked, confusion all too evident in his voice. Scorpius shook his head.
“i think that the real pity in ravenclaw is that you can walk around with all those thoughts clouding your mind and you still have the audacity to think of yourself as a failure,” the blond explained, breath hot on Albus’ bare chest. he moved his hand to rest on Al’s collarbone, “you’re brilliant, i don’t think you realise. a bit oblivious, sure, yeah,” Scorpius laughed to himself for second, “but bloody brilliant. i don’t know why you think that since you aren’t your- your utterly ridiculous gryffindor brother or your blovey- blood- bloody- your bloody fucking saviour of a father that you can’t exist just as loudly, that you aren’t worth as much attention. Albus, there’s nothing wrong in being average. there’s nothing shameful in being unremarkable to some people because you’re amazing to others.”
Albus no longer felt like he would ever sleep. he couldn’t stop staring down at Malfoy, tucked carefully into his chest as though he belonged there.
“what would you know about being average,” Albus whispered, his lips moving in the soft blond waves, “you’ve never been average in your life, have you? do you even know what it’s like to disappoint everyone? you’re brilliant, you and my brilliant fucking cousin. you’re at the top of the class, you’re head boy, everyone thinks you’re hilarious. even the people who don’t like that you like-,” Al swallowed, “that you like boys.”
“it’s hard to be average when you’re the son of one of the wizarding world’s most hated men, Albus.”
“i think it’s pretty hard to be the son of the wizarding world’s hero too,” Albus argued. Scorpius lifted his head to look him in the eyes, still a bit hazy. he quirked a smile but it held no joy.
“sure it is. but people are still pre-conditioned to think of you as a good bloke just because of your last name. i have had to be as not-my-father as i could in order to not be automatically assumed the villain. it’s just different you know?” Scorpius shrugged. “i’m so sleepy Albus, can we just go to sleep now?”
Albus buried his nose into Scorpius’ hair with a nod.
Thomas-Finnegan found them that morning, curled into each other like cats. he had to stifle his laugh while pulling the curtains closed once more.
“come along, men,” he announced to Hollie and Trevino, “i don’t expect Potter or Malfoy to be joining us for breakfast this morning-”
“when do they ever?” interrupted Trevino. Thomas-Finnegan smiled a wicked grin.
“-nor might we see them in first period. they look quite-” he began, stopping to stifle a laugh, “they look quite comfortable. i suspect Malfoy got smashed last night, he looks fucking terrible.”
a mumbling came from the enclosed bed, a mumbling that sounded suspiciously like a posh voice cursing out a certain roommate. Thomas-Finnegan ignored this.
“valiantly onwards, my men, to toast and beans!” he cheered, and the other boys hoorahed as Malfoy groaned from the corner. “let the lovers rest in peace,” Thomas-Finnegan added on.
“i second that!” came Malfoy’s muffled voice, over Albus’ gentle snoring. the boys cackled and left the room, slamming the dorm door a little bit harder than absolutely necessary.
Albus sat on the window seat of the window by his bed, smoking. he didn’t even really like the taste of cigarettes, if he were to be honest, he just liked to have something to do with his hands when he was surrounded with silence.
the other boys had gone to a party in slytherin, an annual seventh-year rager. the slytherins were infamous for having the best parties but Al couldn’t be bothered to go. it wasn’t really his crowd- his crowd tended to be his empty dorm and a fag in one hand. he couldn’t help but to wish someone had stayed back, if just to keep him from his own thoughts. he wasn’t very good at being lonely which was surprising considering the majority of his time he spent alone. not that surprising though- he wasn’t ever very good at anything.
he stared out the window (momentarily feeling silly- wow, how cliche and deep of him, so very insightful) and watched the sunset. just as he was settling into a peaceful moment of silence, there was a loud knock on the door. his eyebrows furrowed and he put stubbed out his fag and tried to wave as much smoke out of the air as possible before opening the door.
he had been expecting a dormmate, perhaps, or at least a ravenclaw. what he had not been expecting was a furious Rose and her entourage. the redhead stood broadly, taking up the full span of the doorway, with four girls standing in similarly intimidating stances behind her.
“hey Rosie?” Al greeted as she shoved past him and her group followed her in. he shook his head and shut the door. Rose had chosen to sit on Scorpius’ bed and but the other girls had chosen to stand. he felt distinctly like he was being ganged up on.
“this is the fourth time this month Scorpius Malfoy has gotten pissed on a school night, he’s failing transfiguration, and it’s entirely your fault, so you have about fourty five seconds to fix this before i beat you into a pulp, dearest cousin,” Rose demanded, a vicious grin on her face. Al had been on the receiving end of her beatings on occasions, and did not look forward to another, so he rushed to defend himself.
“what? how is that my fault? i try to get him to class on time,” he protested.
Rose snorted. “i have never met a ravenclaw less observant in the world.”
Dorothy Hobart, a particularly mean-looking blonde girl, leaned in to whisper into Rose’s ear. Al could see her words regardless of the silence, ‘he doesn’t know?’. Rose shook her head and replied with an eyeroll, “obviously not."
“what’s going on?” Al asked, getting rather frustrated that apparently everybody knew something he didn’t. just like always.
“it’s up to Scorpius to tell you, i guess,” Rose shrugged and got up to leave, a bit put out if Al was reading her body language correctly. she had probably been looking forward to threatening him all night. her gang, looking as confused as Albus felt, rushed to follow her.
“Rose Weasley!” he shouted after he in a desperate attempt to get her to continue, “you can’t just come yell at me and then not tell me why, you screechy hag!”
Rose ignored him, her ginger cloud of hair steadily disappearing down the stairs.
he blinked harshly a couple times and then let his forehead slump against the doorframe. he stayed like that for a while, his eyes shut tightly. what did she mean, it was his fault? he hadn’t done shit to Malfoy.
he groaned and opened his eyes, the resolve to ask Scorpius what was going on settling in him. back to the window seat, though, for now, and a couple cigarettes more for all the ridiculous stress. Rose Weasley was a public menace.
Al’s dormmates came back late, late into the night. Thomas-Finnegan had come in first, a black-haired gryffindor on his arm. they quickly passed out, followed by Trevino and Hollie. the last to arrive was Scorpius, and Albus had almost fallen asleep himself.
surprisingly enough, Scorpius didn't seem smashed. he gently shut the door and moved silently, whereas the other boys had tumbled in laughing and banging their limbs on various furniture and the doorway. his hair was mussed and his button down was sloppy, his cloak missing and not in his arms. he hadn’t noticed Albus sitting awake by the window. Albus watched as he took his shoes off and sprawled out on his bed, and he smiled to himself.
“Malfoy?” he called, his voice carrying much more than it usually did in the dark silence. the blond boy startled and sat up on his elbows.
“Albus Severus?” Scorpius whispered back. Albus could see his features perfectly, his grey eyes and fair skin lit up by moonlight. Al imagined he, with his back to the window, was merely a black shadow to Scorpius. he walked over and slid onto the foot of Malfoy’s bed.
“Rose came and talked to me,” Al started quietly. Scorp blanched.
“oh- shit does it make things weird- i’m sorry- fuck, can we just pretend it doesn’t exist, i’m sure i’ll get over it. i just- i’m so sorry,” he rushed to apologise and Albus grew more confused.
“she only said that it was my fault you were failing transfiguration and refused to explain how or why. what’s going on Scorpius?” he met the other boy’s clear eyes and took in their startled appearance, wide open and eyelashes clumped together with old mascara. the mascara didn’t fit him, Al thought. made him look too dark, too serious. he liked it when Scorpius had just woken up and wasn’t wearing the makeup he liked to wear to parties. it was purely for selfish reasons though, Al was just fond of the way Scorpius couldn’t be mistaken for anything but a Malfoy, yet he looked so soft and summery. his eyes were soft and not harsh. the mascara made him look older, more his age, and more cold. Scorpius Malfoy was anything but cold.
“Potter, do we have to talk about this right now? i have a test in potions tomorrow,” Scorpius excused himself and turned to put his face on the pillow but Albus leaned in and smiled.
“Malfoy, we don’t even have potions tomorrow, you have divination and herbology.”
Scorpius looked annoyed and the smile slid off Albus’ face.
“look, i didn’t mean to annoy you, i was just wondering, we don’t have to talk about it right now if you’re not up to, i’m sorry for bothering you-”
“Al, i’ve been in love with you since third year. actually, since my very first christmas at the burrow. i’m in love with you and i’m sorry if that makes you feel weird but i am. i am in love with you and it’s been driving me fucking mad and i can’t focus on anything but you and i have no bloody idea how you haven’t noticed because i’m the least subtle person in the entirety of Hogwarts. i’m so in love with you it’s ridiculous.”
they sat for a while, gaping at each other. Scorpius was frozen, not believing he had finally admit it, his secret he had been keeping for so long. Albus, sat in silence, his mouth parted in awe. someone was in love with him- no, Scorpius Malfoy was in love with him. that made it so much more impossible. Scorpius Malfoy. loved him. he wasn’t sure he had breathed or blinked yet and it had to have been at least a year now, after the confession, staring at Scorpius’ lovely and delicate face.
“are you being serious?”
Scorpius rolled his eyes, suddenly snapped out of his statue-esque state by the stupid comment.
“of course i am Albus. you’re the only person i want to nap with for the rest of my life,” Scorpius assured with a shocked little laugh, as if that was the last thing he had been expecting Albus to say. Albus smiled weakly, eyes bright with apparent tears.
Albus didn’t know it was ever going to be possible for someone to love him- he was a mess. an unremarkable, disappointing but not in an interesting way, mess. it wasn’t as if there was something about him that set him apart from everyone else with the same skill set as him.
“but i’m just- just Al? why would you even? i don’t get it.”
“well, just Al,” Scorpius grinned at him, his usual light-hearted disposition showing through, “i think you are my favourite person ever. you make me laugh, and you make me feel better, and you listen. and i love you for it. i just love you because you’re just Al.”
Albus leaned into the smaller boy, drawn to him. he didn’t really know what he was doing. he’d only ever had a girlfriend in first year, solely because of his last name, and since had been single. he definitely had never had someone declare their love for him. he hovered over Scorpius, one of Al’s arm at each side of his body, Al’s broader shoulders hunched over the Malfoy’s thin frame.
“what, are you going to kiss me or something?” joked Scorpius, looking up at Albus through his eyelashes. Albus smiled crookedly at him.
“i mean, if that’s okay with you, i think i might” he replied quickly, his eyes lowering to the dark, cupid bow lips. “i haven’t really done much, well, research on it, so this might be terrible but-”
“i don’t mind. i’ve never actually kissed anyone.”
Albus pulled back a bit to meet the other boy’s eyes.
“but everyone thinks you’re the fittest boy in seventh year- i just assumed you would have-”
Scorpius laughed, “gay Malfoy, here, remember? there aren’t actually that many people willing to touch me. and honestly i never really thought about kissing anyone else. i always wanted my first kiss to be you.” he blushed, and suddenly he looked so innocent and shy, things no one would say they usually associated with the loud mouthed and sharp tongued ravenclaw. Albus leaned back in.
“well, here i am,” Albus whispered against Scorpius’ lips and he felt the blond’s breath catch, raising his confidence just that much. he slowly pressed his lips into Scorpius’ softer lips, which were still rougher than a girl’s. they slowly, clumsily moved their lips together, both enjoying the kiss despite it’s lack of skill. Scorpius hummed happily into it at the same time as they heard Travis Trevino snore loudly across the room. they broke apart with a giggle on Scorpius’ part and a chuckle from Albus.
“i forgot we had roommates, just for a moment there,” Scorpius laughed, his breath hitting Al’s chin. he took the break in serious conversation as a chance to lean back and lie flat on his bed. Albus crawled over and held himself on top of the smaller teenager, a leg and an arm on either side of his body.
“would you maybe like to do that again?” Scorpius asked coyly, a spark of humour in his eyes. Albus leaned down.
“i would like nothing more, actually.”