Work Text:
The video starts with Bruce on the farthest side of it's range, seemingly lying on the carpeted floor of his livingroom. One hand propping up his chin as he looks down at the camera, hair in a disarray that indicates having just woken up or, more likely, preoccupation with a troublesome and lively individual. In a matter of seconds, a new face shows up on the other side of the camera's range. A small one, round with baby fat, not too dissimilar to Bruce's—very likely said individual. Smiling down at the camera beside him.
The baby, probably almost two years old, stares down at the camera alongside Bruce for atleast twelve more seconds before suddenly frowning and turning the most vicious scowl his round face can muster at Bruce. Bruce visibly startles before turning to look at the baby currently shuffling out of the camera's range. "Why are you—why are you mad?!" He gets no answer, even as he looks back down at the camera as if it may answer him. Before returning his flabbergasted and stunned gaze to the baby already out of the camera's range and the video cuts.
>Rocko
@elmocansuckit "WHAT THE FUCK IS TAKING SO LONG?!"🤬😡
69k likes 103 replies
>>Christopher
@stop Replying to @elmocansuckit "TAKE THE DAMN PICTURE ALREADY!!" 😡😡
72.8k likes 113 replies
>Anna
@getannabortion "Is this a vide—...GIRL YOU'RE WASTING MY TIME!!"🤬🤬
106k likes 150 replies
>Brucie's Fifth Glass Of Wine
@bruciesfifthglassofwine LET IT GOOOO!! @laylathe01 😭💔
36k likes 19 replies
>Elizabeth
@beth see now if I said the shit Layla's saying y'all would jump me🧍🏻♀️
24.8k likes 41 replies
>Lily
@lily(◕ᴗ◕✿) I think he thought you were taking a picture @therealbrucewayne 😭🥀
11k likes 20 replies
>#1 Ice Bear Connoisseur
@icebearWILLwhoopurahh [picture of a tuxedo cat standing beside it's kitten, the two basically identical, captioned «We wish to be human» Just above a picture of Bruce and his baby from the video captioned «Yippee!»]
48k likes 102 replies
>>Lizzzzie
@lizzzzie Replying to @icebearWILLwhoopurahh copy and paste ahh
6k likes 10 replies
>>Neno
@rockocansuckit Replying to @icebearWILLwhoopurahh alpha's genes didn't even put up a fight😭✌️🥀
17k likes 40 replies
>BreadEater310
@breadeater310 please why is he mad???😭💔
9k likes 31 replies
>Layla_The_One
@laylathe01 see if he had that baby with me, they wouldn't be acting out like this—im just saying 😒
76k likes 201 replies
>>Supergirl's Wench
@supergirl_swench Replying to @laylathe01 LAYLA OH MY FUCKING GOD!!😭💔
24k likes 39 replies
>>Anthony
@tony Replying to @laylathe01 nah shawty on foenem you tweaking 😭✌️💔
25.7k likes 28 replies
>Clark Kent ✓
@clarkkent why's my son trending on twitter??¿??
293k likes 372 replies
>>Jennifer
@niffer Replying to @clarkkent 😭😭😭
2.3k likes 13 replies
>Clark Kent ✓
@clarkkent I just offered Bruce the world so I don't know where the rest of y'all are gonna live but it can't be here
307k likes 419 replies
>>Christopher
@stop Replying to @clarkkent THIS IS ONE HELL OF A WAY TO ANNOUNCE Y'ALL ARE GETTING MARRIED 😭😭😭💔 [screenshot of Bruce Wayne's official account, a post with no caption—Just a picture of Bruce's right hand, ring finger adorned with an obsidian band]
42k likes 79 replies
>>Rocko
@elmocansuckit Replying to @clarkkent aight✌️ lemme see myself out🚶🏼
12k likes 34 replies
>Anna
@getannabortion just woke up to getting kicked off the planet, how's everybody else's day going? ☺️ #marriageproposal #cruce
79k likes 47 replies
>Clark Kent ✓
@clarkkent Bruce is the type of beautiful that makes you do stupid things
103k likes 92 replies
>>Clark Kent ✓
@clarkkent Replying to @clarkkent this movie's about me [an edited clip from six years ago from the official Daily Planet account—an interview of Bruce Wayne hosted by Clark Kent himself. Bruce is answering a question Clark asked, even as Clark himself is clearly not paying attention—atleast not to Bruce's answer. When the silence between them lasts four seconds, Clark realises it's his turn to speak with a start. Straightening to his complete height and knocking his head against the bookshelf that was clearly meticulously kept in frame and intended to be aesthetically pleasing. The books he knocks over tumble over his head and towards Bruce, an onslaught he stops by shielding Bruce from it with the bulk of his frame. Bruce is turning a questioning glare at someone offscreen as if demanding assistance]
406k likes 102 replies
>>>Jennifer
@niffer Replying to @clarkkent and we'll never let you live it down King❤️
46.7k likes 30 replies
>>Brucie's Fifth Glass Of Wine
@bruciesfifthglassofwine Replying to @clarkkent [official picture from GLAMOUR US, of Bruce—blue light bathing a side of his face while plunging the other in shadow as he looks down at the camera]
71k likes 43 replies
>Bruce Wayne ✓
@therealbrucewayne Clark is so easy to ragebait
203k likes 106 replies
>>Clark Kent ✓
@clarkkent Replying to @therealbrucewayne what do you mean by that???
100.9k likes 152 replies
>>Clark Kent ✓
@clarkkent Replying to @therealbrucewayne ??? I don't think myself quick to anger or temper...
84k likes 116 replies
>>Clark Kent ✓
@clarkkent Replying to @therealbrucewayne did I do something to make you feel this way???
68k likes 92 replies
>>Lois Lane ✓
@tgerealloislane Replying to @therealbrucewayne watch him prove you right while trying to defend himself
177k likes 125 replies
>>Lois Lane ✓
@tgerealloislane Replying to @therealbrucewayne oh shit! He already beat me to it😭😭
197k likes 101 replies
>>>Bruce Wayne ✓
@therealbrucewayne Replying to @tgerealloislane 😭💔
110k likes 62 replies
>Anna
@getannabortion womp womp can’t fuck you, womp womp nobody else can either
107k likes 192 replies
>>Bruce Wayne ✓
@therealbrucewayne Replying to @getannabortion Clark before we started dating🥀
391k likes 229 replies
>>>Anna
@getannabortion Replying to @therealbrucewayne 😭😭😭💔💔
61k likes 103 replies
>>>Anthony
@tony Replying to @therealbrucewayne HELLO???😭💔
79k likes 115 replies
>>>Clark Kent ✓
@clarkkent Replying to @therealbrucewayne ☹️☹️💔 I apologised for that
200k likes 311 replies
>>>Lizzie
@lizzie(◍•ᴗ•◍)❤ Replying to @therealbrucewayne when your goat is getting slandered but the slander might be true😔💔
19k likes 41 replies
>>>Christopher
@stop Replying to @therealbrucewayne come on now guys y'all can't be deadass, its pretty clear Bruce Wayne is just joking🥀
10.2k likes 87 replies
>>>Christopher
@stop Replying to @therealbrucewayne OH SHIT NVM!!! I DIDN'T SEE CLARK KENT'S REPLY IM SORRY😭😭😭💔💔💔
15.9k likes 62 replies
>>>Christopher
@stop Replying to @therealbrucewayne GUYS HE'S GUILTY!!! I WAS WRONG I SAID SORRY!!!😭💔💔
17k likes 31 replies
>>>Jennifer
@niffer Replying to @therealbrucewayne following Bruce Wayne on twitter and then getting surprised at the unhinged shit I see on twitter is honestly a trap of my own making and I take full accountability
29k likes 104 replies
>Lois Lane ✓
@tgerealloislane [screenshot of a string of text messages—
⟨You⟩
i need a gay joke explained to me when you have the time
⟨Smallville⟩
What???
⟨Smallville⟩
Is that the only reason you're texting me???
⟨Smallville⟩
I haven't seen you in almost a week because you've been hyperfixating on your scoop. I get a text from you, excited too, and you're asking me about a gay joke???
⟨Smallville⟩
Look at half your reflection in a mirror or something—]
217k likes 170 replies
>>Lois Lane ✓
@tgerealloislane Replying to @tgerealloislane two dollars and a snickers bar—who wants him???
279k likes 238 replies
>>Clover
@clover☘️ Replying to @tgerealloislane “look at half your reflection in a mirror or something” DID HE JUST CALL YOU BISEXUAL???😭😭🥀
92k likes 106 replies
>>Supergirl's Wench
@supergirl_swench Replying to @tgerealloislane “look at half your reflection in a mirror or something” and they say Shakespeare's dead😌🙏
17k likes 52 replies
>>Elmo
@rockocansuckit Replying to @tgerealloislane only thing that could convince me he earned that Pulitzer 😭🥀
22k likes 69 replies
>>Yolanda
@yoyo Replying to @tgerealloislane im stealing that holy shakespeare 😭🙏🥀
8.7k likes 41 replies
All sorts of pictures tend to go viral from a celebrity event. Some because of their mysterious subtext, others simply because it's a celebrity—even better yet, a celebrity in a good outfit. Pictures of Bruce circulating different forums go viral for all the reasons stated above, despite the fact that they really shouldn't. Their simplicity failing to warrant the kind of dividing and visceral reaction they get.
The most viral of all the pictures is a picture of Bruce leaning against a table flecked with beverages and starters on toothpicks, his gaze fixed somewhere offscreen, upturned—perhaps towards a stage. Genuinely focused rather than the mildly entertained expression he usually reserves for such events. The cause for controversy is his outfit, a four piece suit cut from black and white that makes his form look severe. Giving him an air of authority and self assuredness many have agreed he's earned. A severity contrasted by the delicate flower tucked behind his right ear and the otherwise softness of his expression.
The origins of the flower are a less popular video, whose visibility was slightly drowned out by the pictures themselves. In the video, taken from a distance so great no spoken words can be heard, Bruce is leaning his forearms on the balcony railing while speaking to his legal guardian—Alfred Pennyworth—who in turn is preoccupied with trimming the foliage decorating the balcony itself. Sequestering himself away from the event deeper in the manor. The only indication that whatever Bruce said is supposed to be humourous is an upward quirk of Alfred's lip that the camera almost fails to catch. Then Alfred is snipping off a flower from it's stem, trimming off it's leaf and shortening it's length to satisfaction. Before tucking it on Bruce's right ear, into his hair. The gesture barely knocks Bruce out of his stride as he all but continues to talk.
>Solo_Levsls
@sololevsls you guys remember when omegas used to be modest and pure?? Good old days💔
79k likes 693 replies
>>47_Missiles
@halfexception47 Replying to @sololevsls “modest, pure” and it's just a fucking suit🥀
104k likes 185 replies
>>Superman's Favourite C*m Sock
@whosaidthat!?! Replying to @sololevsls “good old days” and more than half the fucking human population didn't have a right to human autonomy 😭✌️🥀
129k likes 352 replies
>>Big_Word
@bigwordforelmo Replying to @sololevsls what's more modest than a FULL FOUR PIECE SUIT???😭💔
103k likes 278 replies
>>>Solo_Levsls
@sololevsls Replying to @bigwordforelmo suits are for alphas
19k likes 427 replies
>Anna
@getannabortion what exactly is stressing y'all the fuck out? Is it the flower? Y'all saw the flower and started remembering “gOoD oLd DaYs”???
147k likes 611 replies
>>Jenna
@jenna401 Replying to @getannabortion username checks out🥀
27k likes 289 replies
>>Terry_Tazzy
@tasmanianmenace Replying to @getannabortion septum ring theory🥀
25k likes 301 replies
>>>Anna
@getannabortion Replying to @tasmanianmenace saying shit just to say shit theory💔💔
71.9k likes 240 replies
>Donna's Paladin
@donnaspaladin I get what most of y'all are saying but I also personally wouldn't want an omega who dresses like that. It would feel like we're competing for authority and dominance, so I get both sides🤷
69k likes 423 replies
>>Christopher
@stop Replying to @donnaspaladin saying that like you had a chance with him😭✌️💔
87k likes 198 replies
>>Jennifer
@niffer Replying to @donnaspaladin then it's a good thing you're not dating him brotein shake😭✌️💔
124k likes 107 replies
>>Delectable Bread
@delectablebread97 Replying to @donnaspaladin Brosquito delete ts😭🥀
95k likes 51 replies
>>Lily
@lilypad(◕ᴗ◕✿) Replying to @donnaspaladin praying for whoever the hell Donna is😭🙏
72k likes 102 replies
>Mau'dib
@mau'dib_usul y'all are getting triggered as fuck but the truth of the matter is an alpha wouldn't want an omega like this🤷
51k likes 379 replies
>>Clover
@clover☘️ Replying to @mau'dib_usul saying that about a man who's happily married, has a kid and is rumoured to be expecting a second—okay brochacho ☠️💔
80.9k likes 126 replies
>>Sisyphus
@sisyphusyouwuss Replying to @mau'dib_usul “an alpha wouldn't want an omega like this” and we're taking about the former most eligible bachelor, sexiest man alive four times voted, seven times nominated, current mega fine shyt—okay broski😭✌️💔
94k likes 103 replies
>Emilia37
@emmy(｡☬０☬｡) aaawwww!!!🥺🥺❤️❤️ [The less viral video of Alfred tucking the accursed flower over Bruce's ear after determinedly trimming it to satisfaction]
179k likes 249 replies
>>Emilia37
@emmy(｡☬０☬｡) Replying to @emmy(｡☬０☬｡) OH. WHAT'S BEEN HAPPENING HERE??? 😭💔
201k likes 187 replies
>Lex_Luthor ✓
@theonlylexluthor inspite of all the unsavoury things Bruce has spoken of me, I have enough compassion and decency in me to tell him the truth everyone else won't. Bruce, dress as befitting your role—this is ever unbecoming of you
298k likes 1017 replies
>>Diana Of Themyscira ✓
@dianaofficial Replying to @theonlylexluthor as the mage of truth herself, I'd rather give you a greater truth Superman seldom offers you. Bruce can dress however he wants because I can break your jaw.
511k likes 1459 replies
>>47_Missiles
@halfexception47 Replying to @theonlylexluthor came here to drop my death threat like everybody else and was beat to it by WONDER WOMAN??? 😭💔
97k likes 140 replies
>>Melissa
@mel Replying to @theonlylexluthor I keep forgetting Bruce and DIANA OF THEMYSCIRA ARE FRIENDS 😭😭💔💔
12k likes 71 replies
>>>Elizabeth
@beth Replying to @mel I think we all needed the reminder 😭 [picture of Bruce and Diana standing by a table of confectioneries—both in apparel betraying the grandness of the gala they're both attending. Bruce mid bite of his own pastry while listening to Diana speak and gesture excitedly]
7k likes 32 replies
>Jonathan_Smith ✓
@jonathansmith Wonder Woman just threatened to assault Lex Luthor—she's a member of the UN by the way [picture of Diana speaking on a podium with a United Nations banner behind her]
37k likes 203 replies
>>Big_Word
@bigwordforelmo Replying to @jonathansmith Unlike the UN, Diana is not a coward
77k likes 255 replies
>>Hannah
@hannahbanana Replying to @jonathansmith Diana never ducks a fade
46k likes 109 replies
>>Anthony
@tony Replying to @jonathansmith Diana has never cared who or what you are, if you're being whack—she'll make sure you know and do better [two pictures. One of Diana in her armour, driving a finger into a well suited man's chest and a vicious snarl on her face while a small crowd watches from behind her—protest signs lowered. The second, a picture of her standing beside a boy too short to surpasses her waist, hand over his shoulder as she draws him close. He's wearing a Wonder Woman cosplay, face puffy and eyes rimmed red while another boy infront of him apologises—head down turned in shame]
121k likes 147 replies
>Ice Bear Connoisseur
@icebearWILLwhoopurahh they tryna cancel my goat for defending omegas😭💔 [picture of Wonder Woman crouched to eye level infront of a boy, eyes rimmed red—the same from before—placing her golden tiara on his head]
109k likes 117 replies
>Bruce Wayne ✓
@therealbrucewayne OMG fine I'll take the damn flower off!!😭😭
410k likes 678 replies
>>Diana Of Themyscira ✓
@dianaofficial Replying to @therealbrucewayne don't.
291k likes 310 replies
>>Clark Kent ✓
@clarkkent Replying to @therealbrucewayne don't love❤️
172k likes 201 replies
>>Lois Lane ✓
@tgerealloislane Replying to @therealbrucewayne don't.
143k likes 127 replies
>>Oliver Queen ✓
@therealqueen👸 Replying to @therealbrucewayne no.
192k likes 176 replies
>>>Bruce Wayne ✓
@therealbrucewayne Replying to @therealqueen👸 fym no
120k likes 92 replies
>>Dinah_Lance ✓
@dinahlance Replying to @therealbrucewayne don't.
137k likes 45 replies
>Clark Kent ✓
@clarkkent asked Lois to stop teaching Richard how to play poker and threatened to revoke her babysitting privileges. This is what she sent me😭😭 [screenshot of a string of text messages—
⟨lolo⟩
and then he called them privileges
⟨🐱➡️😼⟩
😂😂
⟨🐱➡️😼⟩
last time I saw him the little knacker was just persistently staring into my soul 😭 im good with the privileges for now
⟨JimJim⟩
😭😭
⟨JimJim⟩
wonder where he gets that from😭—]
97k likes 179 replies
>>Clark Kent ✓
@clarkkent Replying to @clarkkent two cupcakes and a dollar—who wants her???
101k likes 110 replies
>>Anna
@getannabortion Replying to @clarkkent my favourite genre of twitter is Clark Kent and Lois Lane trying to sell each other off for two cents for every extremely minor inconvenience they cause each other 😭🥀
27k likes 42 replies
>>Neno
@rockocansuckit Replying to @clarkkent WAIT WHERE DOES HE GET THAT FROM??? I'VE NEVER SEEN BRUCE WAYNE DO THAT??? WHERE DOES HE GET THAT FROM 😭😭
11k likes 23 replies
>Jenna
@jenna401 please they should've been endgame😭😭 [a picture of Bruce and Minkhoa Khan, the chaos of the event blurred behind them. Minkhoa is grasping strands of Bruce's hair between his fingertips, as if in inspection—while Bruce leans away, holding a hand out as if to push Minkhoa away. His expressions very visibly scrunched in annoyance while Minkhoa's remain borderline laxed in comparison, if not amused]
21k likes 191 replies
>>Hannah
@hannahbanana Replying to @jenna401 “they should've been endgame” [the same picture, but zoomed in on Bruce's obviously annoyed expression]
37k likes 89 replies
>>Yolanda
@yoyo Replying to @jenna401 k-pop fan levels of parasocial jesus😭💔
29k likes 110 replies
>Brucie's Fifth Glass Of Wine
@bruciesfifthglassofwine does he know he exists??? [a seven second video of Bruce, taken from a generous distance. Though his head is turned in the general direction of the camera, his attention is laser focused on something overhead. Then in an instant, his eyes swivel to the camera without searching. And he simply stares at it unblinking till the video cuts.]
79k likes 407 replies
>>Christopher
@stop Replying to @bruciesfifthglassofwine I think he knows TOO MUCH 😭😭🥀
11k likes 52 replies
>>Neno
@rockocansuckit Replying to @bruciesfifthglassofwine okay so that's where Richard apparently gets it from
19k likes 107 replies
>>Anna
@getannabortion Replying to @bruciesfifthglassofwine Brucey's always been regaining consciousness in the most random moments—hes like a sleeper agent, just give him a moment
15k likes 86 replies
>Clark Kent ✓
@clarkkent I finally got permission to post this, please don't make me regret it [a picture of Bruce, fast asleep in his bed—his hair pooling onto his pillow without it's restraints of gel and his right arm bracketing a bundle resting it's head against his arm like a pillow. The bundle is holding onto Bruce's left hand, specifically his pinkie and ring finger with an obvious vice grip. All while staring at the camera with something between curiosity and warning all at once, as if the baby considers himself Bruce's sentry.]
300.2k likes 491 replies
>>Anthony
@tony Replying to @clarkkent “when I get over there and you're STILL taking pictures, oh boy—” ahh baby😭😭
47k likes 112 replies
>>47_Missiles
@halfexception47 Replying to @clarkkent “my dad doesn't like paparazzi sir, do you mind?” ahh baby 😭
29k likes 92 replies
>>Jennifer
@niffer Replying to @clarkkent straight up just a mini Bruce, your genes genuinely didn't even try this time😭😭
42.7k likes 139 replies
>>>Clark Kent ✓
@clarkkent Replying to @niffer 😭😭
71k likes 200 replies
>>>Clover
@clover☘️ Replying to @niffer this time??? This is another baby???
7k likes 59 replies
>>>Clover
@clover☘️ Replying to @niffer THIS IS THEIR SECOND BABY?!??? 😭😭
13k likes 90 replies
>>Superman's Favourite C*m Sock
@whosaidthat?!? Replying to @clarkkent nobody better at hiding a baby bump than Bruce Wayne 😭💔
57k likes 179 replies
>>>Clark Kent ✓
@clarkkent Replying to @whosaidthat?!? Interesting username 😐😐
61k likes 49 replies
>>Delectable_Bread
@delectablebread97 Replying to @clarkkent absolutely adorable 🥺🥺❤️
20.8k likes 51 replies
>>Neno
@rockocansuckit Replying to @clarkkent so does the staring problem run in the family???? 😭😭[A picture of Thomas Wayne and Martha Wayne standing beside one another in a gala. While Martha is very obviously talking to the crowd enthralled with them, Thomas is staring into the soul of whomever had the guts to take this picture in the first place.]
64k likes 172 replies