Archive of Our Own

Jax woke up feeling miserable.

Now, that wasn’t exactly an unusual feeling for him, he awoke most days feeling like crap, the only difference about today was that he felt especially sh[BOINK!]ty. So much so that he considered simply not getting up from his bed and staying in instead, surely Caine wouldn’t mind that would he? Zooble does it all the time after all. Granted the ringmaster was never happy about their lack of participation, but he still let them do it most of the time.

The more he thought about it however, the less the concept of laying in bed and doing nothing all day became less appealing. Not only would it give him far too much time to think about himself and his own actions, but he’d also be forced to stare at the vomit-inducing stain that is his bedroom. Even without the lights on, the pink walls still felt like a blinding light, burning his irises in ways the sun, in all her hateful glory, could only dream of.

With a heavy sigh, the purple rabbit got up from his bed, ready to start the day as he usually did. Or at least, that’s what he planned on doing. Instead his legs buckled beneath him, sending him toppling onto the floor with an audible thump.

Groaning, Jax pushed himself into a sitting position with some effort, the movement not coming without consequence. Pain erupted from his stomach, causing him to wrap his arms around his midsection instinctively.

It wasn’t the kind of pain you received from not eating for long periods of time, no, this was different, he’d say it’s worse but he honestly couldn’t remember how it felt to be genuinely starving, not since he entered the circus and the need to eat was stripped away from him.

With a groan, the rabbit hobbled his way over to the door, pulling it open with some effort and exiting out into the hallway.

It was quiet, either meaning it was early and no one was awake yet, or they’d already moved into the main area.

The second option proved itself correct as upon making his way to the ground floor, he found his fellow prisoners all hanging out in the lounge area. Gangle and Zooble were sitting next to each other on one of the couches, the former showing the latter one of her drawings, Kinger was staring off into nothing, and Pomni and Ragatha were busy talking on the other couch.

Jax’s eyes lingered on them for a moment, specifically the jester. He hadn’t forgotten what had happened between them. He wished he could, but that would require him to not care about her or the time they spent together.

Wait what? Why was he thinking that? That wasn’t right.

He didn’t care. He couldn’t care. It was the one rule he’d set for himself. He couldn’t be close to anyone, being close to someone meant opening himself up to the potential heartbreak of losing them, and he couldn’t do that, not again, not after what happened to-

“WELL LOOK WHO IT IS!” A loud, all too familiar voice boomed from all around the area, catching his and everyone else’s attention.

The owner of the voice appeared moments later, the floating teeth responsible for all of their adventures.

Caine stared directly at him, his mismatched eyes boring into him with such an intensity that it made him squirm.

“IT’S ABOUT TIME YOU SHOWED UP JAX! I WAS BEGINNING TO THINK YOU WERE TRYING TO AVOID MY ADVENTURE!” The dentures exclaimed.

“BUT YOU WOULD NEVER DO THAT, WOULD YOU JAX? IF THERE’S ANYONE HERE WHO LOVES PARTICIPATING IN MY ADVENTURES, IT’S YOU!”

The purple rabbit stared at Caine for several moments, his foggy mind struggling to keep up with what the teeth were saying.

“Uh… yeah. Sure.” He finally said, voice lacking its usual confidence.

“THAT’S THE SPIRIT!” Caine screamed cheerfully, patting Jax on the back, the nauseous feeling in his stomach returning.

“THAT’S WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU JAX! YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE WHO TRULY UNDERSTANDS THE MAGIC OF MY ADVENTURES. IF ONLY SOMEONE ELSE COULD HAVE THE SAME ENTHUSIASM S YOU DO!”

He didn’t miss the way the dentures’ eyes flicked to Zooble for a moment, or the way they seemed to twitch at the mention of this so-called “someone else”, but he quite frankly didn’t care enough to look into it, not when he felt this horrible.

“ANYWAYS, NOW THAT WE’RE ALL HERE I CAN FINALLY TELL YOU THE AMAZING, FANTASTICAL, ENDLESSLY ENJOYABLE ADVENTURE I’VE COOKED UP!”

Jax soon found himself standing alongside his fellow prisoners, watching Caine explain what their adventure of the day was as he hovered above the stage.

He did his best to pay attention, he truly did, but the throbbing headache in his head combined with his still sore stomach made it near impossible to do so. Certainly wasn’t helped by how the ringmaster felt the need to exclaim every single word. Normally this wouldn’t be a problem for him, but this day had so far proven to be anything other than normal.

His less-than-ideal state must’ve been obvious as he was brought out of his headspace by a gentle tug on his arm, followed by a soft voice of concern.

“Jax? Are you okay? You look kind of… miserable.”

His eyes traveled down to the source of the voice, blinking a few times upon realizing it belonged to none other than Pomni.

Because of course it did.

Why wouldn’t she be the one to notice when he was feeling ill, prying into his insecurities just wasn’t good enough for her was it?

No, she just had to keep prodding, had to keep caring. As if he was some kind of toddler needing to be looked after.

Pushing away the irritation, Jax plastered on his usual cheshire grin and turned to address the jester.

“Me? Miserable? Please. You’re making me sound like crybaby over there..” He spoke dryly, gesturing in Gangle’s direction, the woman in question busy having hushed conversations with Zooble. Not that he cared. Why would he? He should just be happy he doesn’t have to deal with Gangle’s constant whaling.

He didn’t care.

He didn’t.

Pomni gave him an incredulous look, clearly not convinced by his attempts at waving off her concern. She didn’t say anything further on the matter however, seemingly deciding to let the situation go for now, much to his relief.

Turning his attention back to Caine, the rabbit did his best to focus on the words that the ringmaster was saying, but his attempts proved futile as he was overwhelmed by a sudden feeling of dizziness.

His body began to sway, balancing becoming harder and harder to keep until-

He was on the ground.

He didn’t remember falling, nor did he register his body colliding with the floor. One second he was standing, the next he was not.

His vision blurred, his hearing muffled, and the only thing he could feel was the rapid pounding in his head.

For a second, he almost thought he was dying, but his rationale reminded him that he couldn’t die. That death was impossible here, that the closest thing he would ever get to feeling the sensation of death was abstraction, and he knew what abstraction looked like. Whatever this was, it was something else, something that lacked the usual peace that came moments before you hit your breaking point.

This was the opposite of that. There was no beauty in this moment, only the violent pounding in his head, and the pain in his stomach.

Silhouettes began to gather around him, all vaguely humanoid, none he could properly recognize.

He heard voices, some louder and quieter than others. They sounded… worried, a tone he’d lost familiarity with a long time ago. Why were they worried? Were they worried about him? No, that couldn’t be right.

Everyone hated him.

He made sure of that.

They should be laughing at his misery, not whatever this was.

“JAX!!!” A loud voice screamed into his ears, bringing him back into reality.

His vision cleared, and he found himself staring into the disembodied eyes of Kinger, far too close for comfort.

“Uhhh…” Was all he could think of as a response.

“Jax!!! You’re alive! I was starting to think you’d been taken by the Meatball Man.” The chesspiece exclaimed enthusiastically.

“Meatball what?”

Before Kinger could respond to Jax’s query, he was suddenly shoved out of the way by a large gloved hand, the floating figure of Caine descending into view.

“WELL THEN! IT SEEMS SOMEBODY WOKE UP ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE BED TODAY!” The teeth exclaimed, making his ears ring.

“Jax? Are you alright?” A much softer voice spoke. It took him a moment to realize who it was, and once he did he wished he could go back to being ignorant.

Because of course it was Pomni. Why wouldn’t it be?

Not wanting to show weakness to the one person who had already seen so much of him, Jax sat up, cheshire grin once more settling onto his face like it belonged.

“Oh come on Pom-Pom. Didn’t I already say I was fine? You really need to stop worrying so much. You’re starting to sound like Ragatha.” He drawled, doing his best to sound nonchalant, hoping it would assuage her concerns, but the unconvinced expression on the jester’s face told otherwise.

She went to open her mouth again, likely with some kind of retort, but Caine was back in his face before she could.

“NONSENSE JAX! YOU ARE CLEARLY NOT FEELING YOUR BEST, AND NOT FEELING YOUR BEST MEANS YOU ARE LESS LIKELY TO ENJOY MY ADVENTURES, AND THAT JUST WON’T DO!” The teeth exclaimed.

Jax wasn’t even given a chance to respond before the ringmaster snapped his fingers and he suddenly found himself in what appeared to be a medical room of some sort.

“What is this?” The rabbit questioned, exasperated.

“WHY IT’S A MEDICAL EXAMINATION OF COURSE!” Caine announced, materializing in front of Jax.

“WITH THE HELP OF ONE OF MY TOP DOCTORS…” He gestured over to a mannequin standing in the corner of the room wearing a nurse’s outfit, who proceeded to raise their arm in an enthusiastic “Hello!!!” 

“WE WILL HAVE YOU ALL CHECKED OUT IN ORDER TO SEE WHAT EXACTLY IS WRONG WITH YOU AND WHAT WE CAN DO TO FIX IT!”

Jax stared blankly at the teeth, his mind not fast enough to process anything Caine was saying. He raised a hand to object, only to be suddenly grabbed by a pair of sentient straps, forcing him on his back atop the medical bed.

“Hey wait hold on, I never agreed to this-”

“ENOUGH STALLING, LET THE MEDICAL PROCEDURE BEGIN!” Caine interrupts, snapping his finger.

With that, the mannequin wearing the nurse outfit approached the side of the bed, and proceeded to pull the most vomit-inducing check-up Jax had ever experienced. The details of which will not be shared beyond the fact that Jax does in fact, have proper insides.

By the time the procedure was done, Jax was feeling even more sickly than he already was, and Caine was staring at a piece of paper the nurse had given him with a thoughtful expression.

“Hmmm… WELL I MUST SAY THIS IS QUITE THE SURPRISE!” Caine announced, turning his floating eyed gaze over to Jax.

“IT SEEMS AS THOUGH YOU’VE CAUGHT YOURSELF A VIRUS!”

Jax blinked, looking up at the dentures with a mix of confusion and disbelief.

“A what?”

‘A VIRUS MY FRIEND!” Caine exclaimed, getting right up in the purple rabbit’s face.

“YOU MY FRIEND HAVE BEEN AFFLICTED WITH A CLASSIC COMPUTER BUG! WHICH EXPLAINS WHY YOU’VE BEEN FEELING SO UNDER THE WEATHER TODAY!”

Jax wanted to ask more questions. Like how the hell a human like himself could possibly catch a computer virus, but before he could he was being teleported back into the main area alongside Caine.

“UNFORTUNATE NEWS EVERYONE, JAX HERE HAS CAUGHT HIMSELF A NASTY BUG, AND WON’T BE ABLE TO PARTICIPATE IN OUR ADVENTURE TODAY!” The ringmaster announced to the other circus members, to which a grand total of one of them actually seemed concerned, though Jax wishes she wasn’t.

“NOT TO WORRY THOUGH. THIS CIRCUS HAS A BUILT IN ANTIVIRUS SYSTEM CREATED SPECIFICALLY FOR INSTANCES SUCH AS THIS, SO HE’LL BE BETTER IN NO TIME.” The teeth assured.

Jax remained quiet throughout Caine’s monologue, silently taking in what he was saying.

Virus.

He had a virus.

Because of course he did.

He’s long learned by now that logic was not a thing in this world. A human being afflicted with a virus? Why not? Not like this is any stranger than what he’s normally forced to deal with.

At least now he might be able to get some alone time. He could use that after the catastrophe that was the gun adventure.

“Although… Come to think of it… it might be a good idea for one of you to keep an eye on him while he recovers…” 

…What?

“After all, it is to my understanding that humans thrive on each other’s company…” Caine pondered, tapping his bottom gum thoughtfully.

“Wait, no, hold on a second-” Jax tried to interject, only for the ringmaster’s booming voice to cut him off.

“ALRIGHT EVERYONE! SINCE WE’RE GOING TO NEED SOMEONE TO LOOK AFTER JAX WHILE EVERYONE ELSE IS AWAY, I AM GOING TO GIVE ONE OF YOU THE CHANCE TO KEEP AN EYE ON HIM!” The teeth announced, throwing his arms in the air.

“WHICH ONE OF YOU FINE SAPS WANTS TO HAVE THE HONOR OF TAKING CARE OF A SICK JAX?!” Caine asked, pointing his namesake at the other circus members.

To say that the following silence was suffocating would be an understatement. Even without words Jax could tell that none of them wanted to spend even a moment having to look after him.

“Good.” He told himself.

“They shouldn’t want to, I’m not worth the effort.”

Yet, despite his attempts to persuade himself, his chest couldn’t help but ache at the thought that no one wanted to be there for him while he was at his lowest point.

At least, that’s what he thought until…

“I-I could do it… i-if no one else wants to...” 

He knew that voice, and oh how he loathed it. The voice that haunted his thoughts, his dreams, his every waking moment. The voice of the presence that refused to leave him alone, even after he did everything in his power to push her away. 

Yet it never worked.

She always came back.

She always kept trying.

She was like Ragatha, yet somehow worse, at least Ragatha knew when to give up, Pomni never did.

“WELL LOOK AT YOU TAKING INITIATIVE FOR YOUR FRIEND!” Caine exclaims.

“THE OTHER PLAYERS COULD REALLY LEARN A THING OR TWO FROM YOU ABOUT BEING SUCH A TEAM PLAYER!” The ringmaster continued, flicking his gaze towards Zooble for a moment, the shapes only responding with a roll of the eyes.

“Um… Pomni…” Ragatha spoke up, breaking her silence and looking towards the jester.

“I-I don’t mean to question your decisions but… are you really sure you want to take care of… Jax? I know you’re not the biggest fan of Caine’s adventures but…” The ragdoll trails off, rubbing her arm in a self-soothing motion.

Pomni turned to gaze in the older woman’s direction, her face softening.

“I’ll be fine Ragatha, I can handle Jax.”

For once in Jax’s life, he wished someone had actually listened to Ragatha, but alas, this hellscape of a sugarbowl world just refused to throw him a bone.

The ragdoll hadn’t said anything after that, though her posture mixed with a look of worry made it obvious that she wasn’t entirely on board with what Pomni was doing, a sentiment which Jax, despite their frequent arguments, couldn’t help but agree with, though not necessarily for the same reason.

But nothing could be done now. If there was one thing he’d learned about that stupid little jester is that she was incredibly stubborn. If she wanted to do something, she would do it, even if it meant connecting with the one person in the circus who never wanted friendship.

“ALRIGHTY THEN! NOW THAT EVERYTHING’S BEEN SETTLED…” Caine’s voice rose once more, returning everyone’s attention to him.

With a snap of the ringmaster’s fingers, the familiar portal leading to that day’s adventure opened up beside the other circus members.

“IT’S TIME TO GET TODAY’S ADVENTURE ON THE ROAD!” The teeth finished before pushing all but Jax and Pomni into the portal, the object disappearing moments later.

There goes his one chance of escape…

“AS FOR YOU TWO…” Caine turned to face the remaining circus members with pulsating eyes.

“I SHALL SEE YOU BOTH FOR THE NEXT ADVENTURE WHEN JAX HAS GOTTEN ALL BETTER!”

And just like that, the two humans were teleported right into the center of Jax’s room, unable to get out so much as a retort.

The room was as he left it, dark and depressing, a sight which he much preferred to the perpetual color that came with turning the light on.

He could see Pomni looking around with curiosity out the corner of his eye, but he didn’t have the energy to pay it any mind.

“Welp, I’m going to bed.” The rabbit announced, taking heavy strides towards the object in question and laying down.

“Don’t touch anything.” He instructed, turning his back to the jester.

“Oh um… okay, I guess I’ll just…” Pomni trailed off, her posture stiff and awkward, silence consuming the tense air that sat between them.

The quiet was eventually broken by the sound of shuffling footsteps, followed by a thump against the floor. Against his better judgement, Jax turned his head to see what the jester was doing, only to find her sitting down, back resting against the side of the bed.

“...Are you really just going to sit there and do nothing the whole time?” Jax questioned, his lack of amusement evident, eliciting a dry chuckle from Pomni.

“Well it’s… not like there’s much else to do, you already said that I can’t touch anything, and judging by your mood I doubt you’re interested in talking.”

“You could always try leaving.” Jax retorted, an admittedly poor attempt at trying to get the jester to leave him alone.

Pomni didn’t respond, and though he couldn’t see her face from this angle, Jax had a hunch she was giving him an incredibly unimpressed look right now.

Silence settled between them after that, something which should’ve been pleasing to him, but the knowledge of someone else being in the room only served to elevate his discomfort.

“So….” Pomni spoke, voice breaking through the silence. 

“Your room is pretty uhm… colorful.” 

A scoff left the rabbit’s lips at that.

“Yeah, and it sucks.” Jax retorted, not even bothering to hide his ire. Pomni chuckled, seeming to find amusement in his misery.

“Yeah… My room's not great either. All the reds and blues give me a headache.”

Jax merely hummed in response, only half paying attention. He had half a mind to ask her why she even bothered trying, that someone like him didn’t deserve to be doted over, but he knew it was a pointless question to ask.

People like Pomni weren’t the type to give up on others. Even if those other people tried their damnedest to push everyone away for the sake of keeping themselves safe.

It reminded him a little too much of-

“So… about you and Ragatha…”

…Her.

“What about her?” He responded in the most deadpan tone he could manage.

“Why do you two… hate each other so much?” Pomni asked carefully, the nerves in her voice not lost on the rabbit.

“Woah now, who said anything about me hating Dollface?’ Jax defended, his voice raising an octave.

Pomni gave him an unamused look.

“You two are literally at each other's throats all the time. Not to mention that time you threw her in a deep fryer. Forgive me for thinking you didn’t like her that much.”

“I…” Jax started, wanting to retort, only to deflate upon realizing he had no real solid argument against what the jester was saying.

“It’s… complicated.” Was the answer he finally settled on.

“I don’t hate her, I just…don’t like how positive she is about everything. It just feels so fake and forced.” Jax elaborated, a notable hint of irritation in his voice.

“Wow, projection much?” Pomni replied, her voice deadpan.

“Projection?” Jax questioned with visible offense.

“Well… yeah. You’re lying here saying you don’t like how fake Ragatha is all the time, but is that not what you’re doing?” The jester retorted, now looking directly at him. Jax went to reply only to be interrupted.

“At least when she does it she isn’t hurting anyone. Not on purpose anyway.”

“I…” Jax tried, tried to say something in his defense, to prove Pomni wrong, but his mind drew a blank.

It was the truth, he knew it was, but his self-righteousness refused to accept it. He refused to accept that he was anything like Ragatha. Ragatha was someone who made him feel angry, made him feel hate, and if they were anything alike wouldn’t that mean he hated himself too?

Perhaps…

Perhaps that’s why he felt such strong resentment towards the ragdoll, because he saw so much of himself in her. Every time the two met eyes it was like having a mirror shined in his face, reminding him of all the places he went wrong.

It wasn’t her he hated, it had never been her. 

It had always been-

“Jax?” 

Jax blinked, his focus returning as his eyes found the concerned pinwheels of Pomni’s own.

It took him a moment to realize that the woman had expected a response, something which he had failed to supply.

He scoffed, stretching his lips upward in an attempt to form his classic cheshire grin.

“Me? Projecting? Please, like I’d ever project my feelings onto anyone, let alone miss "cheerful and happy all the time."”

Pomni’s eyes narrowed, her expression a mix of disbelief and frustration.

“She’s not as happy as you think she is, you know.” The jester pointed out flatly.

“Oh yeah?” Jax asked mockingly, raising an eyebrow.

“And how would you know if Dollface is playing it up or not?”

“Because I talked to her?” Pomni retorted, a hint of bite in her words.

“You know, the one thing you’re too scared to do?”

Jax stiffened, his face falling and pupils dilating.

“Scared?” He said, a hint of venom in his tone as he sat up to look at the shorter woman.

“You think I’m scared?” 

He had hoped his tone would be enough to ward the jester off, but that was wishful thinking. Pomni met his intense stare with one of her own.

“Oh I don’t think you’re scared, I know you are. You really think I forgot about what happened during the Gun Adventure, I can read between the lines Jax!” The woman snapped back, pointing an accusatory finger in his direction.

“I can read between the lines and I’m sure as hell not gonna let you get away with being a scared, pathetic d[BOINK!]k all the time!” 

Jax could practically feel the steam bursting from his ears at this point.

“How dare-”

“No! How dare you Jax!” Ponmni interrupted.

“How dare you try to throw everything we had together away just because you’re too scared to make friends. How dare you tell me I would be forgotten if I abstracted. Do you even realize how much your actions hurt people?! Or are you too much of a self-obsessed prick to notice?!”

Pomni breathed heavily, clutching her knees from exertion. Jax remained silent. Angry rants aimed in his direction were nothing new, but something about this felt… different, like this wasn’t coming from a place of anger and hate, but something more… personal.

The anger had left Pomni’s face at this point, replaced by something more bitter and melancholy.

“We could’ve had something Jax…” She spoke with a quiet hurt, her voice barely above a whisper. She turned away, leaving Jax to stare at the back of her head.

The rabbit sat in a stunned silence. It had been so long since someone had sounded so… wounded by his actions before. Of course, he knew what it felt like for someone to be angry at him, he knew what it felt like for someone to be upset with him, but this? This was… different.

This wasn’t just anger, this wasn’t just being upset, this was something deeper.

His eyes drilled holes into the top of Pomni’s jester hat, observing the bells that protruded from them as if they had personally slighted him in some way.

He wanted to say something, but what was there to even say?

Sorry?

Like that would do anything.

Apologies don't fix mistakes, especially if you made no attempt to better yourself, and even if he did apologize, would he even mean it? Or was he only saying sorry because he hates how helpless he feels right now and hopes that doing so would allow him to regain some sense of control?

He hated it.

He hated how much control this stupid jester had over his feelings. How all it took was a few strong words, things he could usually ignore, to make him wilt.

His hands gripped the bedsheets, and part of him wished for nothing more than to sink into them, for them to swallow him whole and away from this situation.

But he couldn’t. This was not a matter that could simply be ignored. Putting on his usual mask wouldn’t work, not with her. She had already seen him for what he truly was. A pathetic manchild who can’t handle the loss of others, so he pushes everyone away so that he’ll never have to experience the pain of loss ever again.

But he couldn’t do that anymore, she had wormed her way into his heart and she refused to leave.

No point in denying that he cared anymore was there?

With a resigned sigh, Jax did something he knew for certain he would regret later.

He reached out and seized Pomni by her sides, pulling her into his chest.

“H-Hey! What are you doing?! Let go of me you B[BOINK!]CH!” Pomni exclaimed, attempting to wriggle out of his grasp.

“Oh quit squirming, I’m just hugging you.” Jax spoke, his grip on the jester remaining firm.

“YOU DON’T GET TO JUST HUG ME AFTER EVERYTHING YOU’VE-”

“I’m sorry.” 

Pomni stilled in his grasp, the anger seen in her face moments ago replaced by one of surprise.

“I- what?” The jester spilled out, clearly unsure of how to respond.

“I’m sorry.” Jax repeated, his eyes looking anywhere but her.

“I shouldn’t have… said those things to you.” The rabbit continued, words becoming harder to form.

“I wouldn’t forget about you.” He finished. He was blushing now, he was sure of it, but he was too exhausted to care at this point. Had he not been under the influence of that stupid virus he probably- no, definitely wouldn’t be saying any of this.

For a moment, everything was silent, the only sounds made being that of his own breath and the shifting of his mattress. For a second, Jax thought Pomni hadn’t heard him, but just as that idea began to materialize in his head...

“...Do you care about me?”

It wasn’t the response he’d been expecting. He’d expected her to yell at him or something, to say how much of an [BOINK!]hole he was and that she would never in a million years even think about forgiving him.

As if taking his stunned silence as an invitation to continue, Pomni spoke up once more.

“You said you didn’t care about me. That you didn’t care about anyone in the circus. Was that a lie?”

Jax doesn’t respond, not immediately. Apologizing for his previous behavior was one thing, admitting that he actually cared about other people was another ball park entirely.

“I…” He began, thinking carefully on his words.

“I guess you aren’t too bad.” He finally settled on. It wasn’t a straight admission, but the meaning behind it was virtually the same. Pomni, for her part, didn’t pry further, perhaps realizing this was the most she was going to get out of him.

Instead she shifted around in his grasp, her small body now facing his, before wrapping her arms around him, leaning into his chest.

Jax froze, his heartrate speeding up. Part of him wanted to push her away, to once again reject her attempts at engaging in physical intimacy, but he squashed that part of him down.

He had been the one to initiate this after all, and as much as he hated to admit it, the idea of hurting Pomni more than he’d already done made his stomach hurl.

So, with some effort, he willed himself to relax, his arms carefully wrapping around her as he once again laid down.

“You do realize you could end up being infected with the virus too, right?” He pointed out with a hint of amusement. Pomni chuckled, nuzzling deeper into him.

“I think I can handle a little sickness if it means avoiding one of Caine’s adventures.”

Jax laughed.

“Can’t argue with that.”

He wasn’t sure when it exactly happened, but at some point during their moment of… closeness, Jax wound up falling asleep. It was a bit of a shock to his system if he were to be entirely honest. He couldn’t remember the last time he managed to fall asleep without having to will himself into doing so.

That wasn’t where the surprises ended however. As when he woke up he found that he actually didn’t feel like total garbage. He actually felt… good.

The last time he woke up like this was when she was still around.

The sounds of soft snores met his ears, and upon looking down he found none other than Pomni peacefully sleeping against his chest.

She looked so… relaxed, like nothing at all mattered to her at that moment.

Before he knew what he was doing, he was gently brushing strands of her black hair away from her face. A gesture so tender that it seemed entirely unfitting of a man like him. 

But who was he kidding? Deep down he knew. He knew how much he craved this sort of closeness. To be able to look someone in the eyes and not have to worry about putting on a mask.

And maybe, just maybe, Pomni was that person.

A soft murmur left the jester’s lips, her small body maneuvering against his chest, trying to find a more comfortable position.

Jax sighed, pulling back his hand.

“I should probably get you back to your room before anyone suspects anything.” He mumbled to himself. Lord knows what he’d do if someone caught the two of them like this.

So, with huge, reluctant motions, Jax slunk his way out of bed, holding Pomni against his chest like a groom carrying his bride, and began making his way to her room.

It was a little awkward of course, not having hands meant using more unorthodox ways of getting around, but he managed.

Entering Pomni’s bedroom, Jax took a quick survey of the area.

Yep. There sure was a lot of blue and red in here.

Upon spotting Pomni’s bed, Jax walked over and gently laid the jester inside, taking care to cover her small body with the blanket, Pomni remaining sound asleep throughout the entire ordeal.

For a moment, Jax just stood there, watching Pomni’s sleeping form. There were a lot of things he wanted to say, many of which he’d never have the guts to, and his true feelings about the jester was one of them.

Perhaps one of these days he’ll build the courage to confess, but that wouldn’t be for a long time. For now, this was where he stood. A man stuck in the skin of a rabbit, scared to open up to the world, his true feelings bubbling up on the inside like a house fire.

Leaning down, Jax allowed himself to indulge his deepest, darkest thoughts, and pressed a gentle kiss to Pomni’s forehead.

“Sweet dreams, Pomni.” He spoke gently, more gentle than he’d ever spoken to anyone else, not even her.

Standing to his full height, Jax turned around and made his leave, casting one last glance at the jester before he did.

It would be a long time before Jax was ever close to being okay, and that’s if he didn’t abstract beforehand, but with people like Pomni by his side?

Perhaps he wasn’t such a lost cause after all.