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Buck keeps telling himself that he's okay, but he knows he's not.
But he pushes through anyway.
He does everything he can to keep it hidden from the team, and he's doing a pretty good job so far, he thinks.
What he doesn't know is that Eddie is watching him; he can see Buck wincing and limping and moving slower than he usually does.
But Buck says he's okay, so Eddie believes it, sort of, because something seems a little off.
But it could just be just that his bad leg is hurting today.
It sometimes has spells where it hurts, and Eddie is always there with the Epsom salt and massage oil to help ease the pain.
But this looks like something different, but Eddie's not going to pry; he doesn't want to break what he just fixed.
He's eased off, and he has to believe that Buck is okay. Because Buck said he's okay.
Buck is not okay.
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Buck doesn't want to do this, but he needs it; he needs the medicine to make the pain go away.
He doesn't want to steal meds from the ambulance; he doesn't want to betray Eddie like this.
So he starts up a random conversation, talking about trucks and hatchbacks.
"You don't look like a hatchback guy. You look," Eddie says, then he looks at Buck, cutting himself off. "Terrible."
Buck gulps, avoiding eye contact.
"Hey," Eddie calls softly, trying to get Buck to look back at him.
Buck does.
Eddie leans closer, placing a gentle hand on Buck's thigh, staring intensely into Buck's eyes. "Do you need to go home? You look like you need some rest."
Buck shakes his head. "I-I'm okay. J-just food poisoning from the sushi."
They just had sushi. Buck, Chris, and Eddie.
Eddie hasn't felt any symptoms. Then Hen calls out for him, turns out, his phone is ringing up a storm.
"Could be Chris," Eddie mumbles, looking at Buck once more, eyes softening. "Tell me if anything gets worse, okay?"
Buck nods, swallowing thickly. "I will."
He won't.
Eddie then runs for his phone, and as soon as he's gone, Buck dives for the open medicine drawer and digs through them, grabbing two fetenal bottles, then the tones ring, and he drops them back in the drawer, shutting it, hopping out of the ambulance, wincing, holding a hand to his ribs.
But he trudges on.
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Eddie and the rest of the 118 find out about Buck's addiction through Chimney.
To say Eddie is infuriated is putting it lightly, so he decides to confront Buck before the rest of the team gets here to dig through Buck's stuff to make sure there are no more drugs hidden anywhere.
Chris is with Hen and Karen, and he's spending some time with Denny before Hen brings him over later to distract Buck while they do their search.
Buck is sitting on his couch, hood over his head, curled into a ball like he's trying to hide himself from the world.
Eddie's rage instantly fades.
Buck really isn't okay.
Eddie kneels in front of Buck. "Buck, Evan, hey," Eddie calls softly, getting Buck's attention.
"Hmph?" Buck grumbles, looking at Eddie with tearful, tired eyes.
"Hey, you're okay. We're going to help you, Buck."
He nods, eye casting downwards.
Eddie pushes the hood off Buck's head and takes his best friend's—and the love of his life's—face into his hands, gently stroking Buck's cheeks.
"None of us are going to leave your side. Especially me. I have your back, Evan. Always."
Buck smiles faintly, eyes shining just the tiniest bit, making Eddie's heart race.
"Don't be afraid to lean on me, or any of us, for anything while we help you through this."
Buck nods, reaching out for Eddie, weakly fisting Eddie's shirt, trying to pull Eddie closer.
"D-Don't go," he says weakly.
Eddie yanks Buck into an embrace, doing everything he can to hold in the tears. "I'm not going anywhere, Buck. Never. I promise."
Buck nods, shoving his face into Eddie's neck, hands still gripping Eddie's shirt. "I-I'm sorry I didn't tell you."
"Hey, hey, shh," Eddie comforts, rubbing Buck's back. "No, it's okay. I was mad at first. But that doesn't matter; what matters is that now you're letting us help you. You told Chim what you did because you knew it was wrong and that you're not well. That's what matters. And now we're not going to leave you alone. Especially me. You're gonna get sick of me, bud."
Buck laughs breathlessly. "I could never. Not of you, Eds," he confesses.
"Good. I couldn't get sick of you either."
Buck smiles, fully relaxing into Eddie's hold.
Yeah, this is just what Buck needed, Eddie too.
They stay like this for a while, Eddie moving to sit on the couch, pulling Buck into his arms, letting Buck lie in Eddie's lap, massaging Buck's scalp, both sitting in comfortable silence until the 118 and family get here.
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Through Buck's recovery, Eddie is the one who leaves Buck's side the least.
He sits by Buck on the couch, their shoulders always touching. Sits close to Buck's bed each night, gives him over-the-counter pain meds and a glass of water each night, watching Buck sleep, and eventually falling asleep himself, in the chair or he falls forward, sleeping on Buck's legs, their hands intertwined all night, every night.
Eventually, Eddie can't hold back and decides to just ask Buck.
He set the water glass down on the nightstand,d then he helps Buck get comfortable.
"Hey, do you want me to lie with you?" Eddie finally spits out, voice shaking slightly.
Buck nods, eyes pleading. "Please. I-I've been wanting to..."
Eddie smiles, meeting Buck's eyes. "Yeah, me too. Okay, give me five minutes so I can get ready for bed. I won't be gone long, I promise."
Buck doesn't say anything; he just smiles at Eddie.
Eddie decides that he's going to stop holding back. He leans down and kisses Buck's birthmark that's been calling his name for far too long.
Buck's eyes instantly fall shut, and he hums lowly, sounding so calm and relaxed.
Eddie is glad that he didn't hold himself back anymore.
He will be doing that all of the time now. Only when they're alone, though. It will be a thing for them, and them only. No one else.
Eddie returns to Buck's bedroom less than five minutes later, sliding into the open side of the bed, under the covers.
Buck is on his side, back facing Eddie.
"Hey, Evan," Eddie says softly, scooting closer to Buck, trying to determine whether or not he should wrap Buck in his arms.
"Hm, hey, Eds," Buck whispers.
"Comfortable?" Eddie checks. "Do you need anything?"
Buck shakes his head, then looks at Eddie shyly over his shoulder, eyes shining in the moonlight.
Eddie has never seen a more beautiful pair of eyes. He could get lost in those ocean eyes.
He finds himself doing it a lot, actually.
It's hard not to.
Eddie shakes himself out of his trance. "What do you need?"
Buck scoots back in the bed, still staring at Eddie.
Oh, Eddie knows exactly what Buck needs.
Eddie closes the distance between them, wrapping his arms around Buck, pulling Buck's back against his chest.
The two let out a long breath, feeling relaxed and so fucking comfortable.
This is the closest they've ever been.
Eddie never wants to let go.
Buck never wants Eddie to let go.
"Goodnight, Buck," Eddie whispers.
"Night, Eddie."
The two pass right out after that, not waking until late the next morning.
Buck has no urge to vomit anymore and feels the most rested he has in the past few weeks—since New Mexico, really.
Eddie finally slept soundly because he knew Buck was close and safe—he hasn't slept fully through the night since New Mexico because his mind kept playing through scenarios where he didn't save Buck and had to tell Chris that he lost another parent, that he had to tell Maddie she lost another brother, that he had to tell the 118 that they lost another one, and tell Athena that she lost a son. But Buck is okay, and now he can fully believe it.
They sleep together every night after that.
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Eddie is currently checking Buck's heart rate. The blonde is sitting on his couch, hood pulled over his head, staring at Eddie, semi-angrily.
Eddie finds it adorable.
Buck tries to keep his heart calm, but Eddie causes it, even without meaning to. God, he's so pretty. Buck can't help but stare.
Once Eddie reaches his conclusion, he places his stethoscope around his neck and looks over at Buck. "Well, a little elevated, but that's not unexpected." Then he pulls the wrap off Buck's arm.
Buck knows exactly why his heart rate is elevated, but he keeps his mouth shut.
Buck's brain won't stop thinking about this, and Eddie always knows what to say and how to calm Buck down the best, so the best person to ask this is Eddie: "Hey, what do you think the disciplinary committee is gonna do to me?"
"I think that they're going to take it seriously, but also take into consideration that you reported yourself. You worked within chain of command," Eddie says honestly, keeping his voice level to keep Buck calm.
Buck can't help himself and grins slightly, laughing under his breath, tilting his eyes up to look at Eddie, eyes shining in amusement. "You and that chain of command."
Eddie laughs, having to take a second because holy shit, Buck is so fucking beautiful, even when he looks like he does, tired and worn out.
"I know you see it as this thing that holds you back, but it...it's not. It's the thing that ties us all together...so that one person has to carry the weight alone." Eddie barely looks away from Buck or blinks when he says this.
Buck doesn't look away once, until Eddie finishes, then he looks around his house, seeing Maddie, Chim, and Hen at his back porch, sitting at one of the tables.
Then he looks back over at Eddie. "Yeah, I guess."
Eddie's eyes sparkle, his lips turning up for a brief grin, then he pulls Buck into a hug.
"We're all here for you, Buck, okay?"
Buck nods, wrapping his arms around Eddie, tucking his face into Eddie's neck. "I know. Thanks, Eds. You always know what to say."
Eddie plants a gentle kiss on Buck's birthmark. "I try."
"You do better than that," Buck confesses, snuggling further into Eddie's arms.
They stay like that for a little while before separating.
Buck really is grateful for his family and friends. He really couldn't have done any of this without them. Especially Eddie. Eddie has always been his grounding force that kept him sane.
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As they're eating dinner together, with Athena and May as well as everyone else, Buck suddenly stands up and starts to walk away.
Everyone's attention is drawn to it.
Eddie's eyes first land on Buck's mile-long legs, which Eddie wants to be choked by, up to his cute little ass, then Eddie notices Buck's face.
Shit. He's about to vomit.
Eddie raises his eyebrows at Buck, wordlessly asking if Buck needs him.
Buck nods curtly, then walks away.
Eddie jumps up from his chair, racing to hold Buck during his vulnerable moment.
Buck ends up in the bathroom, vomiting in the toilet, barely able to hold himself up, so Eddie does it for him, rubbing his back and kissing the back of his neck, showing Buck that he is not alone and that he doesn't have to carry this by himself.
Once Buck lets it all out, Eddie helps him stand and quickly brushes his teeth to get the bile taste out of his mouth.
"Do you want to shower?" Eddie asks Buck as he's wiping Buck's face of toothpaste.
Buck nods. "Feel gross."
Eddie snorts. "Okay, stinky, let's get you cleaned up. I'll draw the bath and get you some clean clothes, just sit and relax for me, okay?"
Buck nods, letting Eddie ease him down on the closed toilet lid.
Eddie kisses Buck's birthmark, then gets the bath ready, starting the water, making sure it's at a good temperature, stopping the drain, and, before making his way out of the bathroom, to Buck's bedroom, he gives Buck's cheek a brief peck as he walks by the blonde.
Buck blushes when Eddie does so, wanting Eddie to do it over again and again. (Eddie would—and will—with no hesitation or complaints.)
When Eddie returns with clean clothes, he locks the bathroom door so their nosy family won't walk in, then he sets the clothes down on the counter, walking over to Buck.
"You ready?"
Buck nods, letting Eddie strip him of his clothes and help ease him into the tub, shutting the water off once it's at a good level.
"Does that feel good?" Eddie asks, checking on Buck.
Buck hums and nods. "Yeah, thanks, Eds."
"Of course, I've always got your back, Buck, always."
Buck turns his head and smiles up at Eddie. It's a small smile, but it sets Eddie's heart aflame anyway.
Buck is so beautiful, and it just overwhelms Eddie sometimes because how does someone look that beautiful, even when he's at his worst?
Eddie helps Buck wash his back and hair while Buck washes off the rest of himself. It's a slow process, but neither of them is in a rush.
Once it's finished, Eddie helps Buck get out of the tub, dry off, and dress.
Then Buck heads to his bedroom. He's ready to go to bed, but he hugs everyone goodnight first.
Eddie cleans up the bathroom and takes care of Buck's clothes while Buck does his thing.
Once Eddie has finished, he heads into the dining room to see if Buck is there, but he's not.
Buck must be in his bedroom.
So Eddie makes his way there, waving goodnight to everyone, grabbing some clothes to sleep in, changing into them in the bathroom before heading into Buck's bedroom to join Buck in bed.
Buck is already lying in his bed, turned on his side, so Eddie can hold him.
Eddie smiles, closing the door behind him, making his way over to the bed, sliding under the covers, scooting over to Buck, wrapping his arms around the other man.
Eddie shoves his face in the crook of Buck's neck, placing a light kiss there.
"Goodnight, Evan."
"Night, Eds," Buck hums sleepily.
The two pass right out shortly after.
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Eddie wakes feeling a heavy weight on him. It's a more than welcome weight, and Eddie has never felt more comfortable in his life.
It's still dark out, so it's too early to be up.
The weight on him could ease him back to sleep easily.
Eddie never wants to move.
Then suddenly, he hears a groan above him.
Oh, Buck is lying on top of him.
That brings a smile to Eddie's face.
"M'sorry," Buck mumbles, voice deep from sleep, attempting to move off Eddie.
Eddie's eyes pop open as his grip tightens on Buck; his arms are wrapped around the blonde.
"No," Eddie whines in protest. "I've dreamed of this for far too long, don't take this from me."
Buck stares at Eddie in disbelief. "Seriously? I'm not too heavy?"
Eddie shakes his head. "Nope. This is perfect. You're perfect. Never move."
Buck chuckles, relaxing in Eddie's hold. "As long as you're sure."
"Oh, absolutely," Eddie replies dreamily, feeling himself fall back to sleep, Buck too.
This is Eddie's personal heaven right here. He could die a happy man just like this.
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Eddie wakes on his side, Buck snuggled against him, his head under Eddie's chin.
God, Buck is so cuddly.
Eddie loves him dearly.
Eddie kisses Buck's sleep-rumpled curls, rubbing the blonde's back, just trying to make sure Buck knows that he's not alone.
Buck makes a sleepy noise.
Eddie grins. God, he's so cute.
"Mornin'," Buck grumbles.
Eddie chuckles. "Morning, Evan. Sleep well?"
Buck nods. "Mhm, I did. You?"
"Oh, absolutely. Especially because you were lying on me. You're the perfect weighted blanket."
"Hmm, as long as you think so."
"Hell, yeah."
Buck laughs, a real, true laugh.
It brings a smile to Eddie's face.
Buck then pulls his head out of Eddie's neck and looks up at Eddie.
"Hi."
Eddie tilts his head down and looks at Buck. "Hi."
"Thanks for being here."
"Of course. You were there for me during my breakdown, so now I'm here for you, because I care about you. So much."
Buck grins.
Eddie wants to kiss him so bad.
He then locks his eyes on Buck's lips, unable to help himself, licking and biting at his own lips, doing everything he can to hold himself back.
"I love you," Eddie exhales, not realizing what he just said for a solid few seconds. Then he meets Buck's eyes with wide eyes. "Oh, God."
Buck is taken aback. They have never said those words to each other before..."O-Oh, I-I love you too, Eds. Y-you're my best friend."
Eddie smiles. "You're mine too. But, I, uh, didn't mean it like that." He takes hold of Buck's face. "I-I didn't want to tell you this yet, not until you were all healed. But here we are, so Evan Buckley, I love you, I love you so much that it's a part of who I am. You are the person I have been searching for my whole life; you are the other parent to Christopher and the person who understands me, unlike anyone else. I'm head over heels in love with you and would love to marry you someday."
Buck smiles, eyes glossing over slightly, matching Eddie's own tearful ones.
"I-I love you too, Eds. And I'd love to marry you someday, too."
Eddie's heart soars as he closes the distance between them, connecting their lips for a perfect first kiss.
The two tightly hold onto each other as Eddie rolls onto his back, pulling Buck on top of him, their lips still locked, tongues rubbing against each other.
Neither of them gives a damn about morning breath as their kiss deepens.
But they don't let it get too heated because it's not time for that, not for a little while.
"Hmm," Eddie hums into the kiss, sliding his hands up and down Buck's back. "I love you," Eddie breathes into Buck's mouth.
"Love you too," Buck says back breathlessly.
"Let's move in together," Eddie blurts out while they're kissing.
Buck pulls back, his eyes wide. "Really?"
Eddie's eyes pop open, realizing what he said. "Oh, uh, I didn't mean to say that out loud. But yes, I'd love to. Plus, Chris does too. After I told him about my feelings for you, he's been bugging me about telling you, then asking when we all could live together again."
Buck breaks out into a wide smile. A real Buck smile. One that Eddie hasn't seen since Nashville.
"I'd love for us to live together again, Eds. After all of this is over."
Eddie grins. "Sounds like a plan, baby."
Buck's face turns a pretty pink as they close the distance between them again, locking their lips for more kisses.
They make out for a little while before falling back to sleep again, Buck still on top of Eddie.
Oh, this is Eddie's dream come true.
It will only get better from here, especially as Buck heals.
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When they wake up next, the sun is shining through the windows and the birds are chirping.
Eddie doesn't want to leave Buck, but he's ready to get up.
Then suddenly Buck springs out of Eddie's arms and pukes into the trash can.
Eddie quickly shuffles over to Buck and rubs a hand along Buck's back, comforting his best friend, who's also his boyfriend now!!
"I'm here, baby. Just let it out. It's okay," Eddie soothes.
Buck eventually gets it all out, sets the trash can down, then collapses into Eddie's arms, energy gone.
Eddie kisses Buck's forehead, holding him in his arms. "I'm here, baby, it's okay."
"Love you," Buck says softly, so he doesn't breathe on Eddie.
"Love you too."
They stay like that for a little while, then Eddie tucks Buck into bed, waiting for Buck to fall asleep before he gets up to get some breakfast.
Buck pouted when Eddie said he won't be going back to bed, but when Eddie gave Buck his hoodie that was hanging on the chair by the bed, he stopped complaining.
Eddie places a lingering kiss on Buck's forehead after helping Buck put on Eddie's hoodie, whispering, "I love you," before leaving.
Buck says, "I love you too," before falling back to sleep.
Eddie ignores the prying eyes as he chows down on breakfast.
He made sure to lock the bedroom door so no one could see them cuddling. That's for them and them only.
Buck comes out of his room for a small lunch, talks to everyone, and hugs them, then he's ready to lie back down again.
He doesn't leave the bedroom until nighttime, when the team is sitting around the fire pit outside in Buck's backyard.
Two per seat. Except for Chim, who's sitting alone, and Eddie, who has a leg on the open spot next to him, reserving it for Buck.
Buck eventually walks outside with Athena, the two wearing soft smiles.
Buck also still has Eddie's hoodie on, his gray robe over it.
He must be cold.
Eddie sets his leg on the ground, so Buck knows he can sit next to Eddie.
Buck walks right over to the spot, instantly leaning against Eddie, a dreamy look on his face.
Eddie wraps his free arm around Buck, coffee mug in his other hand.
Everyone looks at them oddly, then they all look away and make a toast to Bobby, because this marks a year since they lost their beloved captain.
Everyone raises their cups to Bobby, Buck raising his hand since he's not holding anything.
Then they turn their heads and smile at each other, then they can't help themselves and kiss each other for a few moments, letting their eyes close as they soak into the feeling of it.
There's nothing like it.
When they pull back, realizing what they just did, their eyes go wide as they turn their heads to look at their family, who are giving them either shocked looks or smug looks.
Buck chuckles, grinning over at Eddie.
Eddie groans, shoving his face in the crook of Buck's neck. Oh, he smells good.
Eddie pulls himself out before he starts leaving marks, shouting to the sky, "Son of a—!!"
~~Cut to black. Cue end credits.~~