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The next time Robert comes into the lab, Royd tackles the question head-on: "I gotta ask you somethin', bruddah--"
"No, I've never actually jerked off in the suit," Robert says, rolling his eyes. "I just told Visi that to mess with her." One side of his upper lip twitches, a catlike little curl of revulsion. "Every time I start to like her, she has to be such a fucking creep."
"You know, we do gotta HR department. Just 'cause everybody lolo here don't mean you gotta take sexual harassment."
"No one takes the skinny white boy seriously, Royd, come on," Robert says, hopping up to sit on a cleared workbench, pulling a chocolate bar out of his pocket. "You want half?"
"Sure," Royd says, coming over to take it delicately between his enormous thumb and forefinger, "but for serious, Robert. That's not okay."
Robert just shrugs his skinny little shoulders, biting off a corner of the chocolate. He chews, swallows, and sighs. "Royd, I'm in a really weird position here, okay? Like, Jesus... hey, I'm about to come out to you, but the lame kind, ready?"
"Robert," Royd says, putting his free hand on Robert's shoulder as a gesture of sincerity, as always amazed by how tiny the guy really is, "there is no lame kinda coming out. Lay it on me, bruddah."
Robert smiles, wide and sweet, looking genuinely touched. It's something very beautiful in its rarity, and there's a part of Royd that has been keeping a careful, engineer's notation of how to cause it. "Hey, thanks, man. And I'm just some kind of weird, failure asexual, that's all."
Well. That wasn't the option Royd had been expecting, and the sense of warm, fellow feeling rising in his chest is a tangible thing. He beams down at Robert, and takes his hand off of his shoulder to offer him a fistbump. "Hey, me too!"
"Wait, what?" Robert asks, looking stunned as he returns the gesture on automatic with one cute, scrappy li'l fist.
"You heard me," Royd says, grinning as he starts to eat his share of the chocolate.
"Yeah, but did your mama raise you right, or do you go around kissing nice girls on the mouth because you're drunk and sad and lonely, and now they like you too much?"
"Hey, man, kissing is nice, and it's not like, a free ticket to your dong," Royd says, hopping up to sit beside him. "But yeah, if you mean Blazer, she'd wanna fool around, you got close."
"I mean, I figured, but how do you know?" Robert asks, raising an eyebrow.
Royd chuckles. "Everybody gotta come down lab for somethin', so Royd hear everythin', eventually. You know Phenomaman say they're 'incompatible'?" he makes a meaningful gesture to his lap. "Well. She was pretty annoyed with him for not letting her try. So if alien stuff don't stop her..."
"Good point," Robert says, and sighs. "She's really sweet." And he just looks so sad and lonely that it hurts to see. "...I just wish someone would touch me and look at me the way she does without wanting to fuck me. And like, I know it's not my fault for being the way I am, but not wanting the gorgeous woman who seems to really like me to eventually touch my dick sounds kind of ungrateful and broken, or whatever. And even weirder and dumber because I do like kissing and holding hands and all that shit."
"Bro.." Royd says, feeling absolutely wounded for him by now. It's like looking back in time to himself at puberty. He puts an arm around Robert and pulls him tightly in against his side, making him let out a surprised little squeak that would be cute if Royd wasn't still busy being sad. "You wouldn't be ungrateful if you were gay, yeah? Sometimes right answer on the test is 'none of the above'."
"...You're right," Robert mutters into Royd's shirt, hands loosely clutching at the fabric. There's probably chocolate smudges, but that's a problem for later. "I'm still gonna mope about being such a cuddle whore that I get myself in trouble, okay?"
"You can have ten minutes," Royd says, because he's feeling generous, and ruffles Robert's hair. Boy really should be using some argan oil or something. Not shea butter, that'd be too heavy, but everybody gets dry in SoCal... It really is nice to have Robert cuddled so close. He's like some kind of dangerous little pet, like those attack Pekingese that Chinese royalty supposedly carried in their sleeves.
Royd was kind of joking, but it seems like Robert is really serious about taking his ten minutes. And what the hell, they've got time. Probably isn't comfortable for his back to be leaning like this, though. "Hey, Robert?"
"Yeah?" he mumbles, still clinging. "I can... I can stop being weird."
"Was gonna ask if you wanted to sit on my lap, bro. No funny business," he adds, but that part seems to be unnecessary, Robert scrambling at the chance to be close. He's in Royd's lap in an instant, all curled up into an adorable little bundle. Royd gathers him close, and soon Robert isn't even really in his lap anymore, he's just completely in Royd's arms, being cradled the same way he holds Beef. "There you go," Royd croons. He has probably never met anybody who needs a good snuggle more than Robert, and he's more than happy to give him one. Robert lets out the tiniest little whimper, and buries his face in Royd's chest, clinging to him like a baby monkey.
Royd has been keeping his feelings about Robert firmly in check, figuring that even if the guy liked him like that, he would want things Royd isn't equipped to give him. But to know now that they match, well... still doesn't mean Robert likes guys, but at least it means that Royd can just hold him without it being some kind of sex thing. He rocks him a little, and murmurs soothingly to him, nonsense and thick pidgin that Robert's white boy ass has no chance of understanding. Robert melts under it, twining his arms around Royd's neck and nestling his face into the hollow of his throat, and there's no way that he's not feeling the way it makes Royd's heart pound.
"I.. fuck!" Robert mutters, sounding way too mad at himself.
"Wha's wrong, Robert?" Royd asks, rubbing his back.
"Now I wanna kiss you, because I really am some kind of G-rated slut."
"Hey. Be nice to Robert. I like that little buggah." He gently pushes Robert away enough to look into his eyes, gently tipping his chin up. "Like him enough to kiss him."
It has been a long time since Royd has kissed anyone, especially anyone this much smaller, but Robert makes it work. And he's really warm, and his lips are soft, and the way he fits in Royd's arms just feels right. Royd sighs, cradling the back of Robert's head and holding him close. He has a lot to do today, but this is definitely the most important thing.
Two weeks later, he's passing by one of the breakrooms and hears one of the Z-Team hounding Robert about something. Sounds like Sonar, probably. He pauses, listening in.
"Dammit, Robbie, you've been smiling at your phone like you're getting cute texts, someone has been leaving little treats at your desk and I know it ain't Chase, and I swear your fucking skin looks better!"
"And?" Robert drawls. "You all rag on me for looking like shit, I thought you'd be happy."
Sonar lets out a little bat-shriek of frustration. "Dammit, who are you fucking?"
And Royd can hear Robert's grin as he says, "Nobody. It's awesome."