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barantos
It took Dr. Santos literally nodding off mid conversation for Baran to do something about it.
“Santos, what’s going on with you today?” Baran asked, crossing her arms.
Dr. Santos pursed her lips, defensive. “Nothing, I’m just a little tired. It’s been a long shift.”
Baran furrowed her eyebrows. It has been a long shift, but not to the degree that Santos was experiencing it. Something else was going on.
“Are you sure? I’m here as an attending, which means I look after my residents just as much as I do my patients. If there’s something I need to know about, you should tell me.” Baran offered, uncrossing her arms to seem more welcoming.
Santos didn’t bite. “There’s nothing you need to know, I just—” She was interrupted by a yawn, and Baran noticed that she was swaying on her feet. “I’m, fine—”
Baran reached out to grasp Santos’s bicep and steady her. “You’re about to fall asleep standing up. You can go nap in my office for a bit, I don’t want you working like this. I also want to know why this is happening, but I have a feeling you don’t want to partake in that conversation right now.”
Santos made to speak but cut herself off. She spoke again, “Wait- you have your own office? Robby doesn’t have one.”
“No, he doesn’t. Technically I don’t either, but I asked for a private space I could have for days when I can’t get a babysitter, or their father needs to drop them off. C’mon, I’ll show you.” Baran started walking as she was ending her sentence so Dr. Santos would have no choice but to follow.
She didn’t look back but she heard Santos hurrying to catch up. “You know, I really don’t need to sleep, I can wait til the end of the—”
“How are you getting home?” Baran asked, turning on her heel to face Santos, who almost crashed into her before coming to a halt.
“Oh, er, I’m driving.” She said, cheeks flushing slightly, understanding the point Baran was trying to say.
Baran turned back around and continued walking. “Not in this condition, or else you’ll fall asleep at the wheel, crash, and end up back here.”
She heard the footsteps hesitate, before catching back up to her again.
Baran led a still-slightly-reluctant Dr. Santos to the nook of a room she called her office. It had a small desk with a couple of drawers, space for a portable computer, and a couch that was almost, but not quite, as small as a loveseat.
Baran opened the door for her, not bothering with the lights. “You can sleep on the couch, sorry there’s no blankets.”
Santos didn’t go in. “What if you need me? I’m sure the ED could use some help—”
“You can help the ED when you’ve rested. I’ll wake you if we need you for an emergency. For now, just sleep.” Baran said, and Santos finally went into the room.
She sat down on the couch, and Baran watched as she practically melted into it. Exhaustion seemed to seep into her bones, and her entire body deflated into the leather cushioning. She wasn’t going to say ‘I told you so’, but she let herself think it.
“Sweet dreams, Santos.” Baran turned to leave.
“Wait!” She turned back, “Sorry, I just, um, thank you. This week has felt like a year, if you know what I mean.” Santos let out one of those self-deprecating chuckles. “Just, thank you for noticing, I guess. And, um, could you also tell Den- I mean, Dr. Whitaker, where I am? I’m driving him home.”
Baran nodded. “I’ll make sure to let him know.”
She made to leave again, but was stopped.
“Wait!”
Baran turned back around, patience thinning only slightly. “Yeah?”
Santos’s expression looked a lot more meek this time. “Does the, uh, door lock from the inside?”
Baran’s eyes widened. She wasn’t expecting that question. Then she noticed the way one of Santos’s hand was gripping her other arm, and how that hand was gripping the fabric of her scrubs. She looked worried, trying to make herself small.
“Yes, it does.”
Her nerves seemingly dissipated, but she still looked small. Santos smiled thinly, face forced and tired. “Thank you.”
Baran gave her a small smile in return, trying to seem comforting. “You’re welcome.”
She turned and made to leave, but not before turning the lock on the door and closing it. Through the glass she watched as Santos fell asleep almost instantly as she laid down.
-
In between patients, Baran checked her watch. Santos’s shift ended a couple of minutes ago. She looked around and saw Dr. Whitaker looking around and checking his phone periodically.
She walked over to him. “Dr. Whitaker.”
He jolted to attention, looking a bit clueless. “Um, yeah?”
“Are you looking for Dr. Santos?” She asked, settling her hip against the desk he was standing in front of.
He nodded.
“I realised she was quite tired today, so she’s sleeping in my office-”
He frowned. “You have an office?”
“Sort of. But she’s in there, I’ll go wake her up for you, I know she’s your ride.” She stood up straight. “I was supposed to tell you where she was before, but it slipped my mind, I’m sorry.”
He nodded awkwardly. “Oh, um, that’s okay. I just need to duck to the locker rooms, could you tell her that I’ll be waiting for her where she parked?”
“Sure.” Baran nodded as she began the way to her office.
She felt a bit like an irresponsible doctor, ignoring the patients that she walked by, but her shift was technically over by almost twenty minutes now. Which wasn’t much, but it felt a bit like it now.
Nevertheless, she walked a little bit slower so Dr. Santos could sleep a little bit longer.
She knocked gently on the door when she arrived. She had a key, but if Santos was worried about whether or not the door had a lock, she’d probably appreciate a knock first.
She didn’t hear any movement inside, or any signs of life, so she knocked again.
No response, so she opened the door with the key.
Dr. Santos looked quite dead to the world.
Her arms were tucked up by her head, and she was facing into the crook of her neck. The half of her face that she could see was more peaceful than it had ever been before. Her legs were straight underneath her, and it was nice to see her relax and take up the whole space around her.
She’d only been in this emergency department for one day, but she’s noticed that, disregarding operations, Santos was always over aware of herself, trying not to take up space where she shouldn’t. Baran wondered if that was a usual thing, and why she was doing it in the first place.
She crouched down on the floor, next to Santos but not touching her.
“Dr. Santos.” She whispered.
No response.
“Dr. Santos.” She whispered again.
Santos shifted slightly.
She repeated it louder. And again.
After still no response, she laid her hand on Santos’s forearm, shaking her slightly.
She started to stir, so Baran removed her grasp.
“Santos? You awake?”
Her eyes opened, blinking back to life. She squeezed them shut, and opened them wider.
Santos sat up slowly. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m up. How long was I out?”
Baran raised back up to full height. She felt a little uncomfortable about the difference now.
“About two hours. Give or take.”
Santos stood up, stretching out her arms and legs. “Thanks for letting me stay here, I don’t think I would’ve managed the drive home, if I’m being honest.”
Baran smiled and tried not to think about what would have happened if she wasn’t here. It was a scary thought, much scarier now from when she joked about it before, for some reason.
“I’m glad I could help you, even if I had to force you to take it. By the way, Whitaker is waiting for you where you parked.”
Santos nodded. “Thank you. Like, really, thank you.”
“Of course. What kind of attending would I be if I didn’t take care of my residents?” Baran offered with a smile.
“Oh, I don’t know, Robby?”
Baran held herself back from laughing, because it was actually more sad than funny.
She smiled to let Santos know that she wasn’t mad about her saying that.
“You get home now, and drive safe. I want to see you well-rested tomorrow, for your sake and your patients’.” Baran said, following Santos out of the room.
“Thank you. I know I’ve said that a lot, but I mean it. It’s, um… yeah. Thank you.” Santos said, rushing through her words like she was eager to get them out of her.
Baran took them and tried not to think about what went left unsaid.
“See you tomorrow, Trinity.”