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Adam takes one step into Monmouth Manufacturing and is immediately assaulted by a dart gun that hits him square in the forehead.
“10 points.” Ronan’s on the other side of the living room, sandwich in one hand, dart-gun in the other.
Adam gives him a deeply unimpressed look. “Why do you have that?”
Ronan shrugs and takes a bite of his sandwich. He lifts the gun to aim again and Adam points a stern finger.
“Do it and you’ll regret it.”
Ronan stops chewing and smirks slowly around his full mouth, there’s a split second where they stare each other down, and then there’s a small click and a dart is bouncing off Adam’s chest.
Adam’s glare turns murderous and Gansey must sense trouble because he pops out of the bathroom-slash-kitchen and raises his hands.
“Woah, boys. Ronan, I thought I told you to get rid of that. Adam, I thought you were still at work?”
Adam finally breaks his glare and looks at Gansey. “I finished early.”
Gansey nods, lowering his hands, and points Ronan in the direction of his room.
“Away,” he says.
Ronan turns the gun from Adam to Gansey, and Gansey’s blank expression doesn’t change. Ronan lowers his arm and stomps back to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.
“Alright,” Gansey says. “Now that that’s dealt with.”
They spend the next hour working on the Latin homework, throwing adjectives at each other and going over prepositions until a knock at the door interrupts their concentration.
“That’ll be Blue,” Gansey says, and the way his face brightens is so obvious it’s a wonder how he still thinks none of them know. He stacks his Latin books on his desk and claps Adam on the shoulder as he stands. “Good study session, Parrish.”
Adam hears him yank the door open, and his happy exclamation as he greets Blue standing on the other side, but Adam takes a moment to bring a hand to the shoulder Gansey just touched, and rub a thumb over the soft cotton of his t-shirt.
“Hey Adam,” Blue says.
Adam drops his hand and turns around to face her with a genuine smile already spread across his lips.
“Hey Blue.”
Nino’s is always crowded at this time on a Friday night, but they get their usual booth in the corner, mostly thanks to Blue.
Gansey, no surprise there, is on a monologue about Glendower, hands moving as he speaks about a book Malory had sent him on the Elidir Fawr Mountains. Adam is half listening, half thinking about the rare Saturday he has off, and how he’ll spend it. Noah seems to be the only one fully listening, because across from Adam, Ronan is chewing pizza obnoxiously loud and folding a napkin into some kind of hat.
Adam shifts a little in his seat, and his foot bumps into Ronan’s under the table. He lets it rest against his for a couple of seconds, before Ronan lifts his heavy boot and crushes Adam’s toes. Adam glares at him, but Ronan’s focus is still on his paper hat.
“…I think,” Gansey is saying, thumb rubbing across his bottom lip thoughtfully, “we should go to Cabeswater tomorrow.”
This finally gets Ronan’s attention.
“I’m in.”
“Adam?” Gansey asks.
Adam shrugs. “Yeah, sounds good.”
Ronan seems to have finished his hat, because he grabs a slice of garlic bread and shoves it into his mouth whole. Gansey gives him a look of disgust, but it’s tinged with amusement.
“We’re in public,” Gansey reminds him.
Ronan swallows it down and snorts. “Is this bad for your image?”
“Very,” Gansey says, trying to act serious but failing, and he punches Ronan lightly on the shoulder.
Adam’s stomach drops a little at their easy camaraderie, stuck with a feeling he’d begun to feel a lot less in recent months. When Adam and Gansey had first become friends, Adam hadn’t really known how to act around Ronan. Ronan and Gansey had always been Ronan and Gansey, and Adam didn’t know quite where he fit in.
Gansey was easier to figure out, after Adam got over his initial assumptions. All Adam ever wanted to be was on the same level as him. Not beneath him. Not a charity case. Not something to be taken in and rescued. But then, he didn’t know if they’d have ever been equals. Gansey was the sun, and even if Adam had grown up sheltered with money, he’d still be reaching for him.
Ronan, on the other hand, was dangerous. There was a sharp anger, always lingering just beneath his surface, triggered by the slightest move. In the beginning, Adam had been on eggshells around him, not knowing what could set him off, not knowing what kind of creature Ronan was. It wasn’t long before he’d grown tired of being so timid, so polite around him. Especially when Ronan wasn’t polite to him at all.
Adam blinks back to reality, and Noah is waving a hand in front of his face. When he doesn’t respond, Noah slaps his hand over his eyes.
Noah’s fingers are cold, and somehow indistinct, but they’re gentle where they press into his cheekbone and rest over his eyelids. He doesn’t do anything to remove Noah’s hand before Noah does.
He hears a sigh, and he knows it as Ronan. Would be able to identify him from a single breath. It’s probably something he should eventually look deeper into, but at least for now, he’d really rather not.
“Let him go Noah,” Ronan says. He sounds bored, but Adam knows him well enough to hear the slight irritation in his voice. Irritation is nothing new when it comes to Ronan.
Noah drops his hand, and Adam blinks to adjust to the light. Ronan is staring at him from across the table.
“That a kink for you, Parrish?”
Adam scowls, even as he feels himself going a little red.
“Do you always have to be so crude, Ronan?”
“Only with you.” Ronan winks at him, and with that and the Irish brogue, Adam is coming up to some serious problems. Ronan smirks at him like he knows what Adam is thinking. Which he can’t, Adam reassures himself, unless he’s dreamt up something that mind-reads. He remembers the vulgar direction his thoughts had taken the other day when Ronan told Gansey he’d stuck his dick in the yoghurt so Gansey wouldn’t eat it.
God, Adam hopes Ronan hasn’t dreamt up a mind reader.
Blue squeezes in next to Adam with a huff, and he moves to make room for her, but only so much so that their thighs are still pressed together. The warmth of the contact calms him enough to release the tension beginning to knot in his stomach.
Blue snags a piece of pizza. “What are we talking about?”
“We’re going to Cabeswater tomorrow,” Gansey says, at the same time Ronan says, “Adam’s kinky sex life.”
Blue raises her eyebrows. “I’m in,” she says to Gansey, and then she turns beside her to Adam.
“What kinky sex life?”
Noah bursts into laughter on Adam’s other side, and Blue smiles at him fondly. Adam’s blush returns in full force.
“Nothing.” Adam flicks a stray olive at Ronan, and it hits him on the shoulder and bounces off. He picks it up and eats it, giving Adam a satisfied smile.
“When do you finish?” Gansey asks Blue, and Blue grabs Adam’s wrist to check the time.
“Half an hour.”
Gansey nods. “We’ll wait for you.”
When Blue leaves they finish eating, and Gansey pulls out a couple of twenties and tucks the ends of them under one of the pizza boards. Ronan throws down his own twenty and stands. Adam makes to reach for his wallet and Ronan slaps his hand away.
“How much do you think pizza costs, genius?”
“But I haven’t put anything in.”
Ronan rolls his eyes and grabs Adam’s elbow, all but yanking him to the parking lot. Ronan’s grip is just this side of too rough, and Adam focuses on the feeling of Ronan’s fingers digging in to his skin.
“If it makes you feel better, you can buy me more yoghurt to make up for it.”
“You finished it already?”
“Gansey did.”
“But you stuck your dick in it.”
Ronan drops Adam’s elbow and glares at him before he climbs into the car.
“I didn’t actually stick my dick in it, dickhead.”
Adam wakes up to the early morning sunlight shining directly into his eyes. He takes a second to remember where he is, the vaguely familiar couch beneath him not one from his shitty apartment. He sits up to survey Monmouth’s living room and the sun glints off every surface. He groans and lifts a hand to try and block it out but the room is so bright it’s a wonder Gansey is still sleeping in his bed. He lies on his stomach, one hand resting under the pillow, a patch of sunlight streaming through the large glass windows to warm his bare skin. Adam can see his steady breathing, his slack expression. Fuck Monmouth, Adam thinks, and fuck its occupants for not considering blinds a necessity.
Adam rolls back over, considering his options. He’d move to Noah’s room, but Blue is currently sleeping there, and Gansey probably wouldn’t like it if he bunked with her. The other choice is Ronan’s room, which isn’t much of a choice at all seeing as it’s forbidden. Staying over was a terrible decision.
He could go home, but they went to bed so late he swears he’d fall asleep at the wheel on the short drive. The sun is unrelenting. He makes a half-conscious decision.
There’s no reply when he knocks quietly on Ronan’s door, but he wasn’t really expecting one. He takes a breath, feeling oddly nervous, and quietly opens the door.
Ronan is deeply asleep, his mouth slightly open, a set of headphones around his neck from which music is playing loud enough he can hear it from the doorway. Adam closes the door behind him, tiptoes across the room, and slides carefully into Ronan’s bed.
Ronan shifts and Adam pauses, heart beat increasing, but Ronan doesn’t make any further noise. Adam breathes out silently in relief, settling into the bed and pulling up the covers. Ronan’s room is blessedly dark, a set of blinds shut tightly on Ronan’s window. He turns his head slightly into the pillow, and is overwhelmed by the smell of Ronan. It’s something distinctly masculine, but in a good way. He doesn’t know whether the smell itself is so delicious, or if it’s the fact that he knows its Ronan’s smell. Adam closes his eyes, heartbeat beginning to slow, enjoying the dark and the silence.
The silence.
The music isn’t playing anymore.
Adam tenses just as Ronan says, “You just had to say you wanted in my bed.”
Ronan’s voice is rough, and amused, and comes from right behind him. Adam shudders all over. He’s so relieved Ronan isn’t angry.
“It’s really fucking bright out there,” Adam says, without turning.
“Mm,” Ronan says, and Adam can hear him taking off his headphones and throwing them somewhere in the room. “What time’s it?”
“I don’t know,” Adam says, “early.”
Ronan grunts. After a moment, he says, “I dreamt something.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Adam freezes at the feeling of Ronan reaching an arm around his waist. His heart is beating wildly at the thought of Ronan spooning him. But he looks down, and Ronan is holding out something in his hand. Adam takes it from him, and Ronan pulls back his arm.
Adam can’t see it very well in the dark, but it seems to be a small box of some sort.
“What does it do?”
“Open it.”
Adam feels around for the edge and pries it open. There’s a small ball of light inside, but even as Adam watches, it becomes a bug, and then a butterfly, and then it flies from the box halfway to the ceiling, and then flies in complicated patterns around the room. It’s bright, but not bright enough to hurt in the dark room, and it doesn’t seem to reflect any of its light. The room is just as dark as it was before.
Ronan shifts slightly behind him, and Adam can feel his warmth radiating they’re so close. He thinks if he leaned back a little they’d be touching, but he’s not brave enough. He wishes Ronan would put his arm back around him. He doesn’t.
They watch the butterfly light fly around the room in silence, and Adam falls asleep with the box held tightly in his hand.
When he wakes up, it’s to an empty bed, and the light and its box are gone.
When Adam drags himself out of bed, it’s to quickly go home, throw on some clean clothes, and stuff down a muesli bar.
The Pig waits for him outside, and Gansey takes a couple of tries to start it again when Adam emerges.
“Alright,” Gansey says, “one more stop at Fox Way, and we’re good to go.”
Ronan turns up the volume on their way there, leaving no room for conversation, but it abruptly cuts off when they reach Blue’s and Gansey turns the car off.
“One sec,” he says, and follows Blue up the drive.
Ronan rolls down his window, and pulls out a box from his back pocket. When he opens it a familiar butterfly flies straight out of the window.
“So I didn’t dream that,” Adam says.
“No, I did.”
“Clever,” Adam says. “You’re going to scare the neighbours.”
“Those assholes?”
Adam lets it go. They watch the butterfly circle the car for the time it takes for Blue and Gansey to return.
“Another dream light?” Gansey says when he gets back into the driver’s seat.
Ronan taps the box and the butterfly circles back through the window and lands gently into it. Ronan snaps it shut.
The drive is mainly filled with more Gansey Glendower spiel. Blue joins in with his brainstorming, but Adam stays mostly silent, and so does Ronan. When they arrive, Ronan is first out of the car, and Adam is not far behind.
Adam inhales deeply once they reach the forest. It’s summer outside, but its autumn in the forest, and red and brown leaves are drifting down from the trees. Adam loves Cabeswater, misses it when he’s not here, and he thinks that Ronan feels the same. They all do, in a way, but only Adam is made of Cabeswater. He feels it running through him, feels its heady energy as he walks through the shade. He finds a soft looking spot of grass, and lies down. He closes his eyes against the sunlight that filters down through the trees.
There’s a slight breeze that rustles the leaves, and Adam can feel the trees whisper. He hears the others trekking around, and he can hear Blue and Gansey speaking from some distance. He’s relaxed enough to start drifting off until a body slumps down beside him.
Adam huffs and opens his eyes when a hand slaps him across the chest.
“Morning Parrish,” Ronan says. “Sleep well?”
“Fine,” Adam grumbles, rubbing irritably at his chest.
“Yeah? So you weren’t woken at ass o’clock in the morning by some annoying little fucker?” Despite his words, Ronan doesn’t sound terribly annoyed, so Adam relaxes.
“I thought you didn’t mind.”
“I do now I’m tired.”
“You’re always tired.”
“Shut it, Parrish.”
Ronan promptly throws an arm over his face, the fingers of his other hand barely touching the cotton of Adam’s shorts. Within a couple of minutes, Ronan’s breathing evens out and he’s somewhere else. Or, still in Cabeswater, but not at the same time his body is.
Adam closes his eyes again, and listens to the leaves and Ronan’s breathing. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to sleep now, but he enjoys the peaceful feeling Cabeswater brings.
Every so often, Ronan’s fingers twitch against Adam’s leg. Adam wonders what he’s dreaming, wonders if it’s a nightmare. He opens his eyes and turns his head to see Ronan’s face, and it’s a picture of contentment. Adam doesn’t think he’s ever seen Ronan look this serene. He looks so different like this, loose and relaxed. This is the way Ronan tries to act most of the time, but seeing it real, like this, just exaggerates the difference between Ronan’s usual façade, and what he really looks like relaxed.
Ronan’s lips aren’t smiling, but they’re curved in such a way as to suggest it, and as Adam watches, they part slightly on his next breath.
Fuck.
Adam tries to tear his gaze from Ronan’s mouth. Ronan would probably kill him if he saw Adam creepily staring at him while he slept.
He rolls back onto his back, and closes his eyes for an indeterminable amount of time, until Gansey and Blue head back his way and pass him on the way to the Pig.
“Get up, sleepy heads,” Blue says, kicking Adam’s shoe playfully on the way past.
Adam opens his eyes.
“Wake Ronan, will you?” Gansey says, “We’re leaving.”
Adam puts a hand on Ronan’s chest and shakes him.
“Ronan, wake up.”
Ronan doesn’t move, which tells Adam that he’s bringing something back from a dream. He should probably scoot back at least a few inches in case it’s not something friendly. But Adam doesn’t think Ronan could look that content and bring back a monster.
Ronan starts to move, stretching his arms above his head. When he turns and sees Adam still there, he seems a little surprised. He blinks a couple of times and then averts his eyes.
“We going?” he says.
“Yeah,” Adam says, “What’d you bring?”
Ronan frowns, still not looking at him. “What?”
“From your dream,” Adam says, “What did you bring back?”
Ronan shrugs and raises his hands, palm up, to show Adam. Both are empty. He sits up and Adam is stuck looking at the grass on the back of his shirt. He wants to brush it off, just to feel Ronan’s back beneath his black muscle tee.
Then Ronan turns his way to look over Adam’s shoulder at the Pig, and Adam nearly chokes on his own spit.
On the opposite side of Ronan’s neck is what is obviously a fresh hickey.
The colour is ultra dark against his pale skin, a purple bruise patterned with what Adam thinks must be teeth marks.
“Ronan,” Adam gapes, “your neck.”
Ronan’s face drops, and his hand jumps to cover the spot Adam can’t stop staring at.
“What about it?” Ronan’s voice is the most panicked Adam has ever heard it.
“Uh,” Adam says, “it’s bruised.”
“Fuck,” Ronan says, with feeling, and his eyes flicker over Adam’s shoulder and back. “Fuck.”
Ronan’s panic tips Adam over the edge. He can’t help the laughter that spills out of his mouth.
“Good dream then?”
Ronan gives him a look dark enough to kill.
“Fuck you.”
Adam laughs, and laughs more. And the commotion draws Gansey and Blue back.
“What’s wrong with you?” Blue asks Ronan.
Ronan turns his glare from Adam to Blue, his hand still covering his neck tightly.
“He has…” Adam is laughing too hard to continue.
“Don’t,” Ronan says, warningly.
While Ronan’s ire is focused on Adam, Gansey sneaks around Ronan’s back and yanks his hand down. It’s only a second before Ronan slaps his hand back, but its long enough for Gansey and Blue to see.
Blue bursts out laughing, and Gansey sucks his lip in to stop himself from doing the same.
“Who were you dreaming about?” Blue says, between giggles.
“None of your business, Maggot.” Ronan now refuses to look at any of them, and there’s a stark red dusting his cheeks and travelling down his neck.
“You can tell us,” Gansey says, “promise we won’t laugh.”
“I’m not promising that,” Blue says, and Ronan scowls at the ground.
“I’m walking.”
“No you’re not,” Gansey says. “Get in the car.”
It takes another 5 minutes and a lot of persuading, (by Gansey, Blue isn’t much help laughing and Adam is too busy trying not to think too hard about who else was in Ronan’s dream), but eventually they get in the car.
They make it almost all the way back before Ronan demands to be let out and walks the rest of the way home.
It’s a week later when Ronan decides they need a night out.
“All this Glendower shit,” he’s saying, as they leave English class. Adam was wondering why Ronan bothered to show up today, but now it makes sense. Ronan needed to be in Gansey’s good graces to convince him. “We need a break, a good night out.” Ronan throws an arm around Gansey’s shoulders. “Blue will come, obviously. And it’ll be a good chance to get Parrish to lighten up.”
“Why me?” Adam says. Ronan ignores him.
“What do you say?”
Gansey looks to Adam. Adam shrugs.
“Alright,” Gansey says.
“Adam?” Ronan looks at him.
“I guess my hands are tied.”
“Are you into that?” Ronan says, tone innocent.
“Again?” Adam says.
Ronan whoops and runs ahead of them, and a few Aglionby boys shoot him looks.
“This is a bad idea, isn’t it?” Gansey says.
“Yeah,” Adam says, “it is.”
On Friday night, Adam stands in his tiny bathroom, towel wrapped around his waist as he stares into the mirror. He tries to style his hair a bit while its still wet, but a stubborn strand keeps flopping back down onto his forehead. He dismisses it as a lost cause, and instead flicks through his wardrobe to find something appropriate.
He takes out his one pair of ‘good’ jeans, a black pair skinny enough to outline his legs but not skinny enough to stick to his legs the way he’s seen Ronan’s do. He diverts his thoughts from Ronan’s legs and grabs a black tee, pulling it on. He goes back to the bathroom mirror, (i.e. the only bathroom he has in his apartment), to check how he looks.
The all black contrasts starkly with his dusty hair, and the black tee accentuates the muscles developed through hard labour and hours at work. His hair has dried into its usual ‘just got out of bed’ style, but he doesn’t think it looks too bad. He sighs, grabs his wallet from the nightstand and shoves it into his back pocket, and locks his door behind him.
When he gets to Monmouth, Gansey is mooning over Blue, shooting unsubtle heart-eyes as she chats to him. She looks good, Adam has to admit. Her hair is out, instead of being held back in tufts, and she’s wearing a dress that settles above the knee against her slender thighs.
“Hey Adam,” she says, when he walks in, and Gansey spares a second to look away from Blue.
“Parrish,” he greets, “looking good.”
So is Gansey, but it’s obvious enough that he doesn’t need to be told.
“Hey,” Adam says, “where’s Ronan?”
Gansey looks at his watch. “Getting drinks, he should be back.”
No sooner has he spoken when Ronan barges through the door, nearly bumping into Adam in his haste.
Ronan is wearing the skinny jeans Parrish was thinking about before, with a tight white shirt, covered by a black leather jacket. His usual heavy black boots are on his feet.
Adam feels a wave of want so strong it’s dizzying. He needs to sit down.
Ronan gives Adam a once-over that lingers on Adam’s chest. Adam can feel heat rising in his cheeks.
“You scrub up alright Parrish. When you’re not covered in grease.”
“Fuck you,” Adam says.
Gansey lolls his head back on the couch. “Boys, we haven’t even left yet. Is it too much to ask for peace until we leave?”
“Nah,” Ronan says, stalking past Adam to put a couple of bottles of whiskey and a giant bottle of coke on the table. “I think we can manage.” He gets a few glasses out of the cupboard and hands them out one by one. He pours his drink, and Adam is surprised to see Blue being the first one to follow suit.
She sniffs her drink a little sceptically, and then takes a sip and shrugs. “Not bad.”
“Yes Sargent!” Ronan shouts, knocking his fist against hers. Ronan pours a lot of whiskey into another cup and fills it up with coke.
He hands it to Adam. “Drink up.”
Adam sighs, sits down on the couch next to Ronan, and does what he says. He can taste the strength of it, but the whiskey is an expensive enough brand to be especially smooth.
Once Gansey has poured his own drink, Ronan raises his glass.
“To the Aglionby gang,” he says, “and Blue.”
“Hey,” Blue whines.
“To the Cabeswater Crew,” Adam says.
“The Glendower Gang,” Gansey says.
“The Gangsey!” Blue shrieks, and they all raise their glasses.
“The Gangsey!”
By the time they make it to the club, Blue is tripping over her own feet.
They get through the line and through the door, and the music is pumping loud enough Adam can feel himself vibrating with it. His lips are slightly numb, and his limbs feel like they’re floating. He watches Blue jump on Gansey’s back with an easy smile.
He swears he’s only been in the club for a minute, but Ronan is already coming over to him with 2 drinks in hand. He passes one to Adam, and leans in close to yell into Adam’s good ear.
“Was this a good fucking idea or what?”
Adam laughs, and its much more carefree than it would usually be. “Yeah, it was a good idea.”
“Yes!” Ronan says, and he takes a gulp of his drink. Adam’s already lost Blue and Gansey. Ronan leans in again. “You look good tonight, Parrish.”
Adam feels hot all over, and he takes a shaky step back so he can see Ronan properly, but Ronan’s already pushing through the crowd onto the dance floor.
So, they’ve been here less than 5 minutes, and he’s already lost everyone. And Ronan is messing with his head.
He throws back the rest of his drink and puts it on the nearest table, following the path Ronan took to the dance floor. He doesn’t see Ronan when he gets there, but there are multiple bodies pressing up against him, and someone winds dainty arms around his waist, and Adam forgets what he was looking for.
He turns around to look at the girl holding onto him. She’s a lot shorter than him, with blonde curls cascading over her revealing dress. She’s very pretty. Adam smiles at her, and she smiles back, and he puts his hands on her hips. They sway together, in time to the music, and she leans forward, pressing her chest against his. She tilts her head up, and raises herself up onto her toes to bring her mouth closer. Adam turns his head slightly at the last second, and she kisses his cheek instead. His chest feels tight. He excuses himself, not knowing whether she hears it, and untangles himself from her, going back the way he came.
He runs into Gansey and Blue near the bar.
“Adam!” Blue shouts, and she throws herself into his arms.
Adam laughs and hold onto her, glancing at Gansey over her shoulder. Gansey shakes his head.
“I’m taking Blue home,” he shouts, above the thrumming base.
“Already?”
“She’s not feeling well.”
Blue lets go of Adam. “I’m fine!” She steps back and almost topples over a chair. Gansey reaches out to steady her.
“Where’s Ronan?” he shouts.
“I don’t know, I can find him?”
“No,” Gansey shakes his head. “You two stay-“
It’s too loud for Adam to hear the rest of what he says, but he nods, and Gansey seems satisfied. He leads Blue towards the exit and she waves cheerily at him as they leave.
Adam sits down at the nearest table and scans the club for Ronan. He’s there for 20 minutes when Ronan approaches, with 2 more drinks.
“Where you been?” he shouts. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” He drops into the seat next to Adam and slides over a drink.
“You were the one that left.”
Ronan grins. “I thought you were following.”
“No you didn’t.”
Ronan shrugs, and drinks.
“Gansey and Blue left,” Adam tells him.
Ronan scoffs. “Already? Those fuckers.”
Adam rolls his eyes, but it makes his head spin. He’s not going to try that again tonight.
“So,” Ronan says, blue eyes flashing in the club lights, “just us then.”
“Yeah, I guess so.” Adam says, quiet enough that Ronan has to lip-read. Adam takes a drink, and Ronan’s eyes don’t move from Adam’s mouth.
Adam licks his lower lip, instinctively, and Ronan’s gaze turns predatory. There’s no mistaking the hunger. Adam is too drunk, too tired, and well on the way to hard, and he can’t think about what it means right now.
Ronan leans in a little closer. His breath reeks of whiskey, but the rest of him smells like Ronan.
“You gave me this,” he says, pointing to a spot on his neck, where only the suggestion of a bruise remains.
Adam frowns, confused. “No I didn’t, you woke up with it.”
Ronan gives him a second to catch on, and when he does, Adam gasps on his next breath. He brings two fingers to touch the faint bruise on Ronan’s neck in wonder. He can feel Ronan’s heart beating fast against his fingertips.
“Me?”
“Of course it was you, asshole.”
Ronan raises a hand, and his fingers come to rest on the back of Adam’s neck, the tips of them sliding into his messy strands of dusty hair. He closes the gap between them, and Adam feels Ronan’s breath on his mouth before his lips follow. The kiss is so much gentler than Adam would have thought. Ronan’s lips are soft and pliant against his, and his hand is a steady point of contact on his neck. Adam’s chest feels as if it could explode at any moment.
After a minute, or an age, the kiss breaks, and Ronan leans back. Ronan’s fingers slide from his neck, resting on his collarbone for a fraction of a second before they leave altogether. Adam feels goosebumps rise in their trail.
“I don’t,” Adam frowns, trying to understand. He’s having trouble putting a sentence together. “Why?”
Ronan’s brow furrows. “Does it matter?”
“Yeah,” Adam says, he puts his head in his hands and rubs his face. His head is spinning and everything is happening at once and he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to feel. Every part of his body is surging with energy.
When he looks up again, Ronan is scowling.
“I don’t know,” he says. “Do I have to give you a fucking answer for everything Parrish?”
Adam pushes away the rest of his drink and stands from the table. “Why do you always have to be so fucking difficult Ronan?”
Ronan stands too. “If I wanted to have a night out with Declan, I would have asked him to fucking come.”
They stare each other down for a moment, and then Adam twists away and heads for the exit. He doesn’t need to check to know that Ronan isn’t following him.
The fresh air hits him in a welcoming wave, and he takes a couple of seconds to breathe it in and get his bearings. He has no idea what just happened, and he’s too fucking messed up to think about it now. He hails a cab, gets back to the church, and only stops to take his shoes off before throwing himself down on his bed. He’s out in seconds.
Ronan avoids him for a week.
When he’s there, he acts as if Adam isn’t.
Gansey picks up on it after 3 days.
“What did he do to you?” he asks, when Adam arrives at Monmouth and Ronan locks himself up in his bedroom, blasting music.
“Who?”
Gansey gives him a very Gansey look. “You know who.”
Adam shrugs. “Nothing.”
Gansey watches him, and Adam finds he can’t meet his gaze.
“I’m not going to make you tell me,” he says, “but you should sort it out. You know he’s not going to be the first to break.”
Adam knows that, he knows that. But it’s now been a week and he hasn’t done anything about it.
He lies around in his apartment, staring blankly at the ceiling. It’s just gone nine o’clock, and he’s fresh out of the shower, wet hair curling against his neck. He’s exhausted, but he’s wide-awake. He wants to throw something, but he doesn’t want to move.
He misses Ronan, and it feels like a real, tangible thing.
He misses Ronan, and it’s because he’s too damn proud to make it right.
He deliberates for a minute longer, and then he throws on some shoes, grabs his keys, and drives to Monmouth.
He opens the door when he gets there without knocking. Gansey is sitting at his desk, reading a book by the lamplight. He’s wearing his wire-framed glasses. He takes one look at Adam and says, “You’re not here to see me, are you?”
Adam shakes his head. Gansey stands and stretches. “Alright, he’s in his room. I’m going for a drive.”
Adam is so grateful Gansey is Gansey.
Gansey clicks the door shut behind him, and Adam walks slowly over to Ronan’s door. He knocks gently. There’s no answer. He opens the door. Ronan is lying on his bed, eyes shut and headphones on. When Adam closes the door behind himself he opens his eyes and gives Adam a blank look, but otherwise makes no effort to move.
“Ronan,” Adam says.
Ronan sighs and slides off his headphones.
“Yes Parrish.”
“I want to talk….about the other night.”
“Oh joy,” Ronan says, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and sitting up. He gives Adam an expectant look. “Well? What is it?”
“Don’t do that,” Adam says.
“Do what?”
“Don’t act like this doesn’t mean anything to you.”
Ronan twitches like Adam had just raised a hand. “And what is this?”
“You….me,” Adam says, “I just don’t know what you…” he stops, starts again. “I don’t know how you feel about me.”
Ronan tenses. “I thought I made that pretty clear.”
“I didn’t know if you were serious.”
“What?” Ronan says, and he, surprisingly, looks disappointed. “Why would you think I’d mess you around like that? Do you really think that low of me?”
“No,” Adam hastens to reassure him, correct him, “I didn’t think of it like that. I just… Fuck, Ronan. You’re so fucking difficult.”
Ronan leans back on his bed, a relaxed pose, but tension is knitted into his shoulders. “You’ve said that.”
“Because you are. And you’re a pain in the ass.”
“Did you come just to insult me?”
“Shut up, just shut up for one second.”
Ronan raises his eyebrows but doesn’t speak further.
“I wanted you to be serious. I wanted that so badly but I couldn’t let myself believe it. And then you avoided me for a week.” Ronan goes to speak but Adam holds up a finger and Ronan reluctantly closes his mouth. “That wasn’t really helping the point. But I just realised it wasn’t because you changed your mind, or because you were messing me around, it was because you’re a stubborn dick. So yes you’re a fucking pain in the ass, but I want you to be my pain in the ass.”
Ronan stares at him, and then his lips spread into a smirk. Adam knows it’s coming before he says it.
“Are you into that?”
Adam sighs, and then laughs, and he walks over to the bed until his knees are touching Ronan’s. Ronan’s hands come to rest on the back of his thighs. He leans down, and Ronan meets him in a kiss that tastes like sugar, and Ronan, and Adam smiles until he breaks the kiss.
“Yeah,” Adam says, and Ronan’s answering smile is a brilliant thing, “Yeah, I’m into that.”