Work Text:
29 pearls in her kisses, a singing small—
coffee smell and lilac skin, your flame in me
Zahir was dressed down in his civvies and his Firebird was making its way over to a restaurant that both he and Prism liked to frequent—the tacos and the drinks were both absolutely amazing. Especially the pepper on the rims? Very delectable.
Robert hadn’t been graced with these tacos, which he thought was a crime.
“And you’re sure I don’t have to dress up for this?” Robert had asked. Zahir was certain that, even if he had to, he wouldn’t have anything to dress up in. All he had seen this man in was either SDN or Mecha Man merch and a singular oversized zip up hoodie.
Zahir sighed. “Yes bitch, I’m certain. I take my brother in law here all the time, and he’s always covered in oil.”
“Just making sure.” Robert hummed. “Why would he be covered in oil?”
Zahir pulled up to the parking spot that he almost always parked in—perfectly, he might add. He was so damn good at driving. “He’s a mechanic. And also the reason why my car took so long to fix.”
He watched as Robert got out. Robert was much slower than he was, and also grunted a lot more than he did too. But the only time this man had tacos recently was that shitty place they had all gone to after the bar fight, and those were nowhere near real tacos.
“This place looks nice.”
Zahir smiled proudly at that. “I’m glad. I think that you’ll like it.”
“Do you come here often?” Robert asked.
“Me and Prism come all the time, I really like the owners.” he said to him, signing their names on the sheet before going to find the table that the owners had reserved for him. “Plus they really adore us. I always try my best to talk with them about cooking, and Prism’s brought them a lot of customers from her Insta posts.”
Robert smiled as he sat down across from Zahir. “They sound like really nice people.”
Zahir sat down and looked at the menu. He already knew what he would want, he came here all the time, but he wasn’t sure what Robert would want. “The aguas frescas here are to die for, you know? I think you’d like the fruit one.” he smiled.
“What is that?” Robert asked.
“Like– eh–” Zahir tried to figure out how to explain it. “There’s the strawberry one. Like, strawberry milk? But way better and sweeter.”
Robert hummed. “That sounds good.”
“It is good, bitch.” Zahir said to him, though there wasn’t any heat behind it. “You’d like the steak tacos.”
Robert smiled happily. “Then I’ll get those.”
“Okay bitch, what the fuck is up with those stats?” Zahir asked over his margarita. He’d asked for a strawberry one to match Robert’s drink—making sure to get some tajin on the rim of the glass.
Robert shrugged. “I went to the stat committee and asked for testing, they said it was accurate scoring.”
“But how come you’re, like, really advanced though?” Zahir asked him. “You’re higher ranked than Phen and Blazer are!”
“Phen isn’t actually that powerful– most of his power just comes from people assuming what he can do.” Robert explained to him as he played around with a wooden stick. Zahir would have to find him more of those, he seemed to like fidgeting with them a lot. “He’s not like Superman, you know, he’s just insanely durable and a fast flyer.”
Zahir nodded. “So do you, like, get stats for the call?”
“We gather the general bullet points of what’s needed from the callers, but there’s also an automated system that helps decide the general stats a hero would need in order to succeed in a call.” he said. “Each of you guys is ranked on that pentagon with your general skillset as well—usually the goal is to get into the parameters of what we guess that the call needs. Even still, the system only works so well– it’s why you guys still failed sometimes when we were fighting against the Red Ring.”
Zahir found that he loved to hear Robert talk. Whenever he went on to explain things about mechanics or about how automated systems worked, he would have a look on his face that Prism would describe as ‘the most pathetic and gay heart-eyes’ or something. He never really saw it—but self investigation wasn’t ever his strongest suit.
“So how come your stats are like that?” Zahir asked. “I’m pretty sure that you went off of the chart.”
Robert shrugged quietly as he took a sip of his drink and hummed. “I’m pretty sure that the Torrance branch just has lower rated stats overall, since our town is much smaller. Downtown L.A would probably fit Mecha Man in better.”
Zahir blinked. “Are you going to leave us?”
Robert looked up at him in utter confusion. “Why would I do that?”
“You just said that Mecha Man’s better suited for L.A.” Zahir murmured.
“But L.A doesn’t have you guys,” he said.
Casually. As if that wasn’t something that quite literally set Zahir’s lungs ablaze. He almost choked on the air around him with how fast the oxygen in his lungs burnt from the fire.
“You’re such a bitch.” he grumbled.
Robert chuckled quietly. “You said you wanted to talk about my stats,” he said as he finished his drink. “And that I was a sad, depressed man.”
“What stats do we get judged on anyway?” Zahir asked.
Robert hummed. “Intelligence, combat, vigor, mobility and charisma.” he said to Zahir, smiling wide as their food came. Zahir had gotten tamales with rice and beans while Robert just got steak tacos. “Torrance is rated on a one through ten point system.”
Zahir smiled at the way that Robert’s face lit up. “What are your points?” he asked, watching as Robert gave his rice and beans over to Zahir. His ‘feed the bitch’ efforts could only go so far. But he would be getting Robert to eat more soon enough.
“From the Torrance system? Almost all 10?” he said as he took a bite of his steak taco. Zahir blushed at the groan that he let out “It depends on whether you’re looking at me or Blue.”
Zahir’s eyes furrowed. “What are Blue’s points then?”
“The last time that I checked, he’s ten on both combat and vigor. Mobility and intelligence are around eight, and charisma is closer to seven or six.” Robert said to him. “I think that I’m around seven in combat, vigor and mobility? Ten on intelligence and charisma.”
Zahir’s eyebrows furrowed. “Why are you lower in the mech?”
“Multi-tasking takes away some points.” Robert said to him. Zahir noted that he looked similar to a chipmunk while he ate food. “But charisma is probably my lowest stat because of the reputation that Mecha Man’s already built. It’s hard to talk down a villain when you’re a legacy hero that they’re already expecting to fight against—especially for a hero like me that rarely gets dispatched.”
“That makes sense.” Zahir nodded. “That’s– you still seem so– what’s the word?”
Robert raised an eyebrow. “Stacked?”
“Yeah!” Zahir said excitedly. “Like– like some stacked bitch.”
Robert snorted. “I’ve been in the suit since I was about twelve, Zahir. And that’s just officially.” he had only gotten through about half of his four tacos. Zahir, for the most part, had already finished his food—though he had also been listening rather than speaking like Robert was.
“Robert, that’s very sad.” Zahir said.
His eyes rolled at that. “It’s really not as bad as you guys think it is.”
“Bitch, even Blue thinks that it’s bad.” Zahir complained to him. He was sipping on a margarita while he said this, which might’ve taken away some of the flair he was aiming for, but that was besides the point. “Your suit, the one that you fight with? It put you on a leash! Multiple times.”
Robert shrugged. “Blue is a bit overprotective at times–”
Zahir groaned as he finished his margarita. He really was not drunk enough to deal with Robert’s self sabotaging thought processes. “What’s my points then, bitch?”
“Eight on combat, seven on mobility—mainly because of your flying skills,” Robert listed off. Zahir was sure that he’d remembered all of their points just to calculate things whenever they were off of the clock. “I think about a five in vigor and intelligence? And four on charisma– but I like to bump those points up on missions that kids are involved in.”
Zahir blinked. “Bitch. Were you the one that gave us our points?”
“I re-did them, yes.” he said to Zahir. “Whoever did your stats before had underranked a lot of you. You guys have made a lot of progress, especially since the Shroud fight.”
Zahir groaned out. “You’re so annoying Bob-bob, you know that? I hope you know that.”
“That I do.” Robert snorted at Zahir. “Don’t you dare tell Blue that I’m agreeing to that. Prism and Waterboy already tattled on me, and I do not need him worrying more.”
“If you think you’re actually annoying, I will be.” Zahir said to him. “So don’t go thinking that.”
Zahir smiled in triumph at Robert’s sigh.