Work Text:
“Oh my God, Blue!”
Blue looked up at the sound of his name. He always activated whenever the word was stated, though he quickly realized that blue is also a color—and therefore would be said in many more contexts than someone referring to him. This meant that Blue also had to learn the tone differences between someone mentioning the color and someone mentioning his name.
This was a time where someone was mentioning his name.
He made a soft whooshing sound to acknowledge their approach. Both Prism and Waterboy were standing in front of him now—though he had only learned their names through the SDN files Robert used to dispatch them. Blue quite liked Prism and Waterboy. They were nice to Robert, and their costumes had a similar blue to what he sported.
“Should we– wouldn’t Robert be mad? At this?” Waterboy asked.
Case in point of kindness.
“Baby, it’s fine. Trust me– if any of us were hurt, he’d want to know!” Hurt? Was Robert hurt? “Now Blue, you better sit down. You won’t believe what Robert did just an hour ago– girl, let me tell you how fast I drove to tell you!”
Blue found himself sitting down as Prism and Waterboy regaled the story, Waterboy mostly being there to make sure that Blue didn’t take any of Prism’s dramatics to heart. “Or Pulse,” he remembered Prism telling him one time. “Whatever you call that thing inside of you– do you call it a heart?”
“And then, on top of the fact I just heard his back pop ten times to Sunday, this dumbass decided to slam said back right into one of the goons!” she said to him. Her hands were moving around while she had been talking for the past half hour. “And then when the dumbass collapsed after all of that fighting he just said that we should bring him home. Like he’d sleep it off? Bitch, please!”
“- . .-.. .-.. / .... .. -- / - .... .- - / .. / -. . . -.. / - --- / -.-. .... . -.-. -.- / - .... . / -. ..- -.-. .-.. . .- .-. / . -. --. .. -. .”
Prism took a hit of her vape before sighing. “Blue, what the fuck does that mean?”
“He’s– Blue wants us to tell– inform Robert of the– to check the nuclear engine.” Waterboy said quietly as he pointed to the suit. “I learned morse code a bit– a while ago.”
Prism looked at Waterboy. “That is the hottest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”
“W–what?”
Robert had called a distress meeting.
Sonar had come up with the idea, as a Harvard graduate and smartest bat that he had ever met, to give each member the option to press a button for a distress call in case of any emergency. Usually, this button was pressed when one of them was drunk and wanted to hang out.
Like Punch-Up, for example, had accidentally imported too much Irish beer and wanted to host a drinking competition at his and Coupé’s apartment. Phen would always ask to play Magic the Gathering through the microphone—something that the team was still confused about. How did he make asking about playing a card game sound so threatening? Golem pressed it one time while he was at the park to show everyone this really cool rock that he found. Visi had a nasty habit of using the microphone option to pretend to be one of those SDN customers who used their heroes as coffee run duty. Flambae had pressed it one time to try and be saved from Prism doing his and Waterboy’s makeup, but Prism had threatened everyone not to do shit about it. Even he had pressed it one time while he was transforming! Though he luckily had been on call during said transformation.
But it was still fun!
What was not fun was when Robert was the one who pressed it.
The last time that Robert had pressed the call button, he was out in an alleyway. Apparently, he had been knocked out and tied up before he woke up—and the Z-Team only found out that he was there because someone with a power to turn certain parts of his body into sludge was digging into his skin as torture. To say that they had gone berserk was an understatement, even after their confusion of him drunkenly talking about his annoyance with toxic powers once they had gotten him drunk.
Now, the call came from inside SDN. Specifically from where his suit was stored.
The Z-Team had made their full force way through the entirety of Royd’s lab—much to Royd’s anger, who had been yelling at Golem and Malevola especially—only to see Robert being tied to a leash that Blue was holding.
“Robbo, man–” Sonar started, ignoring the laughing of Prism and Waterboy in his ear. “What on Earth is going on?” he asked confusedly. He’d already transformed back from his bat form, as well as most of the Z-Team members calming down for the most part.
Robert huffed at Prism and Waterboy. “Why the fuck did you two tell him about last night?”
“Why the fuck would you bust your ass open last night?” Prism asked him, taking a hit from her vape. “It wasn’t even in some kind of kinky way.”
Robert rolled his eyes. “I didn’t even fight them that hard–”
“Your– you– your back popped!” Waterboy said. “And cracked. Like, really loudly.”
Robert groaned and looked up at the suit, which was currently holding the leash that was wrapped around his stomach. “Did you seriously do this just so I wouldn’t get into any more fights?”
“.... ..- -- .- -. / -... .- -.-. -.- ... / .- .-. . / ..-. .-. .- --. .. .-.. .”
“Okay firstly, I am not that fragile–” Robert said, completely ignoring the whooshing sound that Blue made in return. “Secondly, it was just a small bar fight. My back only popped because I haven’t been to the chiropractor in a while, okay? Just because having insurance spoils me–”
Flambae snorts and crosses his arm. “You are the only bitch I know who gets prescription pain meds that he’s been needing for years long chronic pain and calls himself spoiled.”
Robert glared back at him. “I bet you’d want me to break your back so bad, huh?”
“Oh please, if it’s between the two of us, only your back is getting popped.” Flambae said before turning back up to Blue. “Wholesomely, of course. Not anything that would end him in a hospital–”
“If only someone’s dick could put me into the hospital.” Robert sighed before turning over to the rest of the team. “Guys, it’s not that bad.”
“Bullshit!”
Robert winced at the team-wide yell of a curse word before looking over at his suit. “You’re not going to let me go anytime soon, are you Blue?” he asked.
Blue only shook his head back and forth.
“Do you need help to detach from the leash, third Robert?” Phenomoman asked him.
He smiled. “You know that would be really great–”
“No babes, he needs that leash.” Malevola said to Phen, her hand resting on his arm. “Blue’s just helping Robert remember to take some breaks.”
Punch-Up smiled as he playfully punched Phenomoman’s leg. “Yeah, Robbo just needs some rest and relaxation!” he said. “I had to do stuff like this with Nellie when we met too.”
“Oh, I see.” Phen said. “Robert, you must remember the importance of rest.”
Robert groaned and tried to fight against the leash before he sighed in defeat. He’d taken down various villains, literally fought tooth and nail, had thrown out buildings of supers and choked men to death, yet he couldn’t fight against a singular leash. “How the fuck am I meant to do my job from here, Blue? I have to dispatch these guys, and I don’t have a computer down here.”
“Don’t worry Roberto, I already asked Blazer for PTO for all of us. Blue demanded it, so don’t get mad at me.” Prism said to him with a smile as she pulled up her phone excitedly. “Now what’cha all want from that one hibachi place that’s down the street? I’ve been meaning to try them out.”
Golem hummed. “I brought my switch too.”
“Someone go bug Royd to get a projector in here,” Flambae said. “I want to watch a Barbie movie.”
Sonar snorted. “Barbie?”
“Shut the fuck up bitch, my niece gave me a watch list.”