Archive of Our Own

Sleep was difficult for Jonathan. Having the warm presence of someone he trusted beside him helped, as had living in New York City, where he needed to get used to noise, and the music he played to prevent his mind from adjusting to silence. Anything beyond the ambient traffic outside was still usually enough to wake him up, however, if the witching hour hadn’t already. It made him easily irritated whenever something, such as the rattly buzz of a phone vibrating against a hard surface, disturbed what sleep he was able to get.

He groggily checked his phone. The large, white 2:48 over the view from the top of the WSQK radio tower confirmed it was far too early for anyone to be calling, which would concern him if it was his phone they were calling. Since it wasn’t, he shoved his head under his pillow and tried to ignore the sound. The buzzing stopped eventually only to be followed by a series of short, erratic buzzes before going quiet again. Jonathan was just starting to fall back asleep when it returned.

He swatted at his husband until he got a drawn out groan of protest.

"Answer your damn phone," Jonathan snapped when Steve started to turn away from him.

A gravelly hum came from Steve before he complied, squinting at the dim light for a second before swiping his thumb over the screen.

"Hey–" 

Steve’s sleepy greeting was barely out of his mouth before it was interrupted by an anxious string of words that Jonathan couldn’t make out. He could tell it was Robin, which wasn’t a surprise. She had been calling regularly at odd hours needing to be talked out of whatever rabbit hole she worried herself down. Jonathan settled back into bed to try to get back to sleep. The production he was working on had just filmed a night scene, meaning the whole crew was up late working, and the director had them scrambling to finish filming because of some press thing the lead actors were scheduled for.

"Rob, slow down," Steve said as he sat up. His tone had shifted to a steady calm edged with concern that immediately altered Jonathan’s plans. "Did you call the doctor?"

Jonathan rolled over and reached out to rub the small of Steve’s back in silent assurance. Steve squeezed his calf through the blanket to acknowledge the comfort.

"Yeah, I’ll go with you in the morning. Then we’ll get breakfast and go from there, okay?" There was another pause as Robin responded, whatever she said making Steve scoff. "I teach gym and sex ed to middle schoolers, half of the time they know more than me. The school can get a sub," he paused while Robin replied. "Seriously, it’s no problem. Just try to get some sleep." Another pause. "Alright, I’ll see you in the morning. Love you, too."

Steve hung up and scrubbed his hand over his face.

"Is everything okay?" Jonathan asked.

"Yeah. She was bleeding." Steve sighed and laid back down, face to face with Jonathan. He looked worried despite the assuring tone he spoke to Robin with. "The doctor on-call said it was normal as long as it didn’t get worse. She has an appointment in the morning just to check everything out."

Jonathan shifted closer until their foreheads touched, nudging their noses together affectionately. He combed his fingers through Steve’s hair.

The life they built together in Chicago after Jonathan graduated from NYU was closer to perfect than he thought he would ever get. He had a good job at Cinespace Chicago Film Studios while Steve taught at the nearby public school, letting them live comfortably and enjoy what the city had to offer. They were even able to rent a travel trailer each summer to take a road trip to Montauk to visit his mom and Hopper. They would stop to visit with The Party along the way or see a concert or whatever attractions caught their interest. It was everything they wanted when talking about their future together with just one important thing missing.

"You’re going to be a good dad," Jonathan praised softly.

Adoption had proven essentially impossible given their history with secret government projects, and surrogacy was too expensive. They had accepted parenthood wasn’t going to happen until Robin offered to have Steve’s baby. Not in the traditional way, of course. There were a variety of different at-home methods that kept the capital P in Steve and Robin’s platonic relationship they tried whenever she visited, but they hadn’t needed too many attempts before Robin, lovingly, announced she had a parasite. 

Naturally, Jonathan had appreciated the humor in her wording more than Steve.

She moved to Chicago shortly afterward, since the freelance translation she did to supplement her travel writing let her work from anywhere. Getting a small apartment near Chinatown also let her work on her Mandarin and Cantonese. Her plan was to spend the first year or so helping to raise their baby before going back to traveling the world writing about all the places tourists looking for a more authentic experience might want to go. Ideally, Steve, Jonathan, and their kid would eventually meet her somewhere at least every few years for a family trip. 

Nancy, too, but they had only told their direct family Robin was expecting. It felt wrong keeping something like this from her, but Robin’s anxiety had convinced her Nancy wouldn’t understand her wanting the experience of having a child because of how vocal she was about it being her nightmare.

"And you’re going to be a great mom," Steve teased, laughing when Jonathan rolled his eyes. He gathered Jonathan close before he could turn away and appeased him by rubbing soothing circles across his shoulders.

"Don’t get yourself worked up thinking about it," Jonathan murmured without bothering to mask the affection in his voice.

"Hm–you with a baby on your hip and a toddler clutching your leg," Steve mused contently. 

His appreciation of Jonathan’s maternal and feminine side was hardly a secret between them. It was one of the things that had finally cleaved them together during one of their meetups with Nancy and Robin in Philadelphia. Jonathan had made breakfast as he always did, remembering how they all took their coffee and eggs, then made sure everyone else was happily eating before serving himself. Throughout breakfast and for the rest of the day, Steve kept watching him thoughtfully. There had already been tension building, touches and texts that bordered on flirting, but that was the first time Jonathan thought he might not be reading too much into things.

Then they went to an LGBTQ+ friendly bar in South Philly and Jonathan let Robin and Nancy give him a makeover. They put him in a black, sleeveless crop top Nancy had brought then did his makeup and tousled his hair. It had done Steve in, which seemed to have been exactly Nancy and Robin’s plan based on the pleased looks they exchanged, and he ended the night on the dance floor with Jonathan. 

Nothing actually happened between them other than an increase in texts until Jonathan was back in Hawkins for winter break, though. Steve invited him to catch up over drinks at the house he rented, and Jonathan stayed the night so he wouldn’t have to drive home. He woke up tucked against Steve’s chest having slept better than he thought he could without weed. 

While Jonathan finished his last semester, they texted constantly and video chatted almost nightly. Steve eventually moved to Chicago to give Jonathan a stable foundation to build whatever life he wanted for himself on, basically proposing without actually saying the words. Jonathan accepted by stopping at the McDonalds in O’Hare airport for a happy meal with six nuggets and a ring he swapped the toy out for.

"You’re down to two?" Jonathan asked.

"Only because I can’t knock you up," Steve responded, "and Robin keeps talking about what she’s going to do ‘next time’, so two seems a possibility."

Jonathan thought that was just Robin saying things, but he liked the idea of having two children. He knew the importance of siblings.

"I love her so much," Steve continued softly after a moment of silence. His hand was warm and solid as it moved over Jonathan’s back. "Having a kid with her–raising them with you… It feels like this gift I’m not worthy of."

There was an edge of fear in his voice that Jonathan comforted by nuzzling into Steve’s neck. Steve swallowed thickly.

"One that is going to get taken away," he added, barely loud enough to be heard.

"I can’t guarantee it won’t," Jonathan responded tentatively. "I’m too much of a realist for that. If it does, though, it won't be because of anything other than random chance." He pushed himself up so that he could find his husband’s lips in the darkness. "And you are worthy of every good thing life gives you, okay? You prove that every day by just being the guy who decided to make things right back in high school. Even if it did take a bit of a thump on the head."

"It was a bit more than a thump," Steve chuckled, "You completely sucker punched me."

"You deserved it," Jonathan countered, the affection well-worn into his tone at this stage in their relationship.

"I really did." Steve reached up to cup Jonathan’s jaw and drew him down for another kiss. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Jonathan settled against Steve and closed his eyes. Eventually, warm in the arms of the man who had earned his trust, he fell back asleep.

Robin rested her hand on her stomach, staring up at the dark ceiling and listening to the subdued bustle of the city at night. Of course there was no sign of the fetus growing in her womb beyond the effect it was having on her body, but even that seemed mild. Her nausea never actually resulted in vomiting, and she was accustomed enough to jet lag to manage the fatigue. Having to pee all the time was annoying, but that was countered by having an excuse to let herself indulge in whatever craving struck her. She wasn’t being irresponsible by ordering an entire deep dish pizza for just herself, she was fueling the creation of life.

"I took my love" Robin sang softly, "I took it down."

She thought back to telling Steve that she wanted to have a baby. They had been getting lunch outside of the airport on an extended layover she scheduled on her way to JFK from SeaTac. It was something she always did when she went through O’Hare if she wasn’t traveling internationally so they could catch up.

"You?" Steve had asked after nearly choking on his beer. "A baby? Why?"

"I’ve always wanted to have kids," Robin had started with a shrug. 

It was true, she just never voiced it because of all the expectations and assumptions involved. Her mom guilted her enough without knowing a grandchild was a possibility, and her female friends always acted like motherhood was a nightmare, including Nancy. 

"Bringing a literal human being into the world and watching them grow into their own person seems amazing. Like, they start out as basically a parasite, right? Then they experience the world, and learn to express themselves, and grow into an individual who takes parts of you into their own life. They develop their own ideas, and interests, and sense of humor, and–"

"I know, Robin." The pain in his voice had stopped her rambling more than his interruption. "Jonathan and I want kids for all those reasons, but…"

Steve sighed, focusing on the bottle in his hands rather than her. There was no need for him to restate their inability to start a family. After a moment, he looked back up at her.

"Won’t raising a kid complicate your whole Carmen Sandiego deal?"

"You and Jonathan can do that part," she had dismissed after stealing a fry off his plate. She popped it into her mouth to chew as his brow furrowed. The creases softened with a dawning realization that gradually brightened his face. He gazed at her in awe with affection shining in his eyes.

It had all worked out so well from there that the blood she found on her nightly bathroom trip just seemed like the pull of the rug she was expecting. Everything was alright, though. She just needed to get some sleep, then Steve would take her to her doctor’s appointment and they would get breakfast. A bacon egg and cheese breakfast sandwich on a sesame bagel smothered in harissa ketchup sounded good.

"Well, I've been afraid of changing, ‘cause I've built my life around you–" 

A mood swing choked Robin's voice off as she realized how lonely her life had become beyond Steve. She loved traveling and experiencing different cultures, but it made sustaining relationships difficult. All the promises she’d made to Vicki about keeping in touch before leaving for Smith were broken, and most of her friends had become images and text on a screen. Even the people she saved the world with were just a group chat she only participated in on occasion.

Steve was the exception, and Jonathan by proxy. As the meetups in Philadelphia became further apart, he was the one who kept reaching out. The extended layovers were Robin’s way of reaching back, while giving him something as precious as her child to raise was her promise to not let go.

"I know you’re still just, like, a concept with the start of a nervous system," Robin said into the empty room, "but if you make it out, I promise not to be a completely absentee parent. I’ll send postcards, and bring you gifts from all over the world, and call as often as I can. I’ll even try to come on the road trips your dads are going to take you on. Then, when you’re old enough, you can come live with me for the summer. You’ll have the best ‘what I did over the summer’ essays."

Imagining reexperiencing her favorite trips with her child made Robin think it would be nice to travel with someone. Maybe she would ask Nancy. She would probably enjoy some of the riskier trips Robin was uncertain about taking alone. She probably needed to start talking to her again first. They were still friends, of course, but at some point Steve and Jonathan became the only channel open between them. And now, they were all keeping a huge secret from Nancy at Robin’s insistence. She was just afraid, really. She didn’t want her decision to have a child with Steve being questioned, or judged, or pitied. It was unfair to assume Nancy’s reaction, though.

Tomorrow, if everything went well at the doctor’s, Robin would tell her.

The strong, steady whoosh of the fetus’s heartbeat coming through the fetal doppler released the tension Steve had been trying to conceal all morning. Robin smiled at him from the exam table with the relief shining in her eyes reflecting his own. He hoped their kid got her smile, along with her nose, and intelligence, and wit–

Actually, he would be fine if she somehow cloned herself like those lesbian geckos she told him about. His DNA could go toward keeping harmful recessive traits from surfacing, or whatever the benefit of having two parents was.

"I’ll meet you in the waiting room," he told Robin as the doctor wiped the gel from her stomach. It was something he did every appointment in case there was anything she was uncomfortable talking about in front of him. She didn’t even like hearing him say ‘boobies’, so he doubted she wanted to talk about her sore breasts or vaginal discharge with him in the room.

Steve
Everything checked out

Jonathan
I knew it would

Steve
No you didn’t, you pessimist

Jonathan
Realist
And that’s a big word for you

Steve
Fuck you
Actually, wait until I’m there ;)

Steve smirked at his phone as he watched the dots indicating Jonathan was typing appear then disappear repeatedly. He could picture the other man trying to hide his blush and looking around to ensure no one was paying attention to him as he overthought his response. 

Steve finally took pity on his husband.

Steve
Are you working late again?

Jonathan
Yeah
Then we’re off for a few days

Steve
We’ll do a weird stoner day so you can relax
Weed, a bunch of snacks, whatever album you want to put on, and no shirts

They both knew where weed and no shirts would lead given how overly affectionate and needy Jonathan was when high. Nancy had found it suffocating, which probably contributed to their issues because High Jonathan was also extremely sensitive to rejection. High Steve was a little possessive, though, so it worked out.

Jonathan
That sounds nice

Steve shook his head with a slight grin at getting such a simple answer after so much thought. It reminded him of their early days texting and how bad Jonathan was at flirting. Any evidence to the contrary was completely unintentional, which made Steve love him all the more.

"Steve," Robin waved him over to the desk where she had finished checking out. She tucked the card reminding her of her next appointment into her purse. "You promised me breakfast."

"I did." He dug his keys out of his pocket and clicked the unlock button. "Then I have to stop at Michaels. Joyce sent me the crochet pattern for the baby blankets Jonathan’s grandmother made for him and Will. She was upset that her arthritis wouldn’t let her make one, so I volunteered."

Robin gave him a skeptical look across the roof of his BMW. "You crochet?"

"It’s a simple pattern, and there is an after school crochet club Janine is excited for me to join." He got in the car and waited for Robin to get in, as well, before he continued, "She says it would be good for the boys to see more male teachers get involved in traditionally feminine things."

It was pretty common for Steve to be used to challenge the students' ingrained assumptions about masculinity. He did it just by existing, after all. Every year, a student would inevitably be surprised to discover he was married to a man because Steve didn’t announce it, but he also refused to hide it. That usually led to questions and conversations and, occasionally, meetings with parents. He didn’t mind adding modeling positive masculinity and showing there was no such thing as ‘women’s work’ to that.

"That’s way too wholesome to be associated with the Pinterest vomit that is Michaels," Robin objected. She smoothed her hand over her stomach and looked down at her mostly nonexistent baby bump. "I promise your other dad is cool."

"I’m going to tell him you said that," Steve warned.

"As if he doesn’t know," Robin countered with an eye roll. "Every theater kid idolized him. Not, like, enough to risk their own social status by being his friend, but he was the tortured, artistic soul we all wanted to be."

Steve hummed as he considered that. Being an outside observer to teenage social drama had given him a more reflective understanding of his own experience. In retrospect, Jonathan had been the kind of quiet loner that was like catnip to teenage girls wanting to seem rebellious, though his lack of a bad boy persona and social anxiety had kept any of them from actually pursuing him.

"I’m pretty sure he’s still oblivious." Steve turned into the parking lot of the deli near the gynecologists’s office Robin liked. "And Michaels is just to get practice yarn. I’m going to make some fidgets and scarves to learn the basics before attempting the blanket. I figured I would take Jonathan to some local place to pick out the yarn, but I want to make sure I’m capable of not messing this up first."

Robin’s eyes went a bit watery. "This is really important to you."

Steve nodded as he backed into a space. "I want to show Jonathan that I’m going to put in the work his dad didn’t." He licked his lips in contemplation before adding, "And his mom. Joyce is great, and she did the best she could, but Jonathan practically raised himself. Not to mention everything he did for Will. I’m hoping crocheting this blanket helps assure him that we’re in this together."

Robin sniffed, fanning her face and blinking to keep back the tears.

"Sorry," she said, "hormones. You can’t just say sweet things like that without warning me."

Affection curved Steve’s lips and softened his gaze.

"I can’t mention unlikely animal friends without warning you."

"They remind me of us." Robin flipped down the visor to check her mascara in the mirror, dabbing her ring finger at the corner of her eyes to remove the tears that threatened her makeup. Satisfied, she opened the car door before turning to him, "You’re the dog, and I’m the cheetah."

"Obviously."

They got their breakfast sandwiches with Robin adding apple butter to the harissa on her sausage, egg, and cheese, then sat at one of the cafe tables set up out front. For a while, Robin just talked about how she was adjusting to her new apartment, the trips she was taking around the city, and the translation jobs she was getting. Steve was familiar enough with her rambling to know there was something she was working up to, so he didn’t interrupt. 

Finally, Robin went quiet in thought.

"I want to tell Nancy," she stated with a resolute nod.

"About Chicago?" Steve asked, though he was pretty sure that wasn’t it.

"About my parasite."

"Can we please call them anything else?" Steve sighed. He went along with the joke for the first trimester, but everything he read said the second trimester was supposed to be easier. The placenta had developed or something, so the fetus was at least a little less parasitic.

Robin thought long enough that Steve began to worry about what she was going to suggest.

"Nugget," she finally announced. "I am absolutely not giving you a happy meal, though. I know I’ve been talking about what I’ll do differently next time, but that is completely circumstantial, and two is my limit. You’ll have to figure out how to get the rest of your brood of Harringtons from Jonathan."

A wicked smirk pulled at the corner of Steve’s mouth. "We’ve been trying, but it’s just not taking."

"Ew. Gross." Robin stuck her tongue out in a mock gag that she immediately stopped to ease the real one it triggered with a sip of her chai latte.

"Sorry," Steve chuckled. "Back to Nancy, though. We were always planning on telling everyone after things were more in the clear, anyway, so why bring her up specifically?"

"Because we kept it from her." Robin heaved a sigh. She took another drink before setting her cup down.

"Jonathan kept it from her," she clarified after a moment, "because I asked him to. You know him keeping things from her is a sore spot for them. And she’s already going to think I’m some fake feminist or something for wanting to have a kid."

"I doubt she’s going to think that."

"Probably," Robin conceded. She put her cup down in favor of picking at her bagel. "Maybe I’m actually afraid I’m going to lose her since the entire idea of it makes her uncomfortable so she’ll distance herself, or I won’t be able to talk to her about what’s a pretty big deal in my life because she’ll have thoughts and opinions."

Jonathan had voiced a similar concern. Nancy was amazing, but Steve never really noticed how much others were impacted by her passion and drive until he started to really pay attention. It became obvious why she chose Jonathan after that. He took on the work of managing other’s emotions like he had been bred to do it. Robin did to an extent, as well.

That was why they were the cheetahs. Steve couldn’t imagine the anxiety involved with feeling responsible for regulating other people’s emotions.

"But I miss her," Robin continued. Her voice lowered as if she was reluctant to put her next thought into words. "I was even thinking of asking her to go on a trip with me after I’m ready to leave Chicago, I just can’t do that if she hates me."

Steve stopped himself from rolling his eyes. 

"She’s not going to hate you," he insisted gently. "We’ll tell her before everyone else, though, just let me ask Jonathan when he’s available so we can all do it together."

He took out his phone and sent a quick text to Jonathan asking when would be a good time for them all to video chat Nancy. It would probably be a simple ‘congratulations’ before Nancy had to return to whatever scandal or conspiracy she was investigating. She had gotten increasingly distant as her career took up more and more of her life with multiple instances of her only responding to news in the group chat after Jonathan messaged her directly. A trip with Robin would probably do them both good.

"I guess that’s the best we can do," Robin conceded. 

The last time Robin had gone into a Michaels craft store was at Smith when she and her roommates got a bunch of cheap holiday decor for their apartment. Every single thing they had bought was likely in a landfill now, just as the low prices and questionable quality was meant for. It was good for teachers, though, and Steve already had a cart full of supplies for the after school programs he kept getting roped him into. Most of it was yarn for crochet club, though the hooks had been too confusing given the different sizes.

"Maybe I’ll make a hat," Robin mused as she flipped through a crochet for beginners book. "It can’t be that hard."

Steve put a few packs of colored pencils in the cart for the study hall he monitored. He’d told Robin it helped keep the students from getting too rowdy if they were given something to focus on, and some had gotten pretty into coloring the intricate pages he printed out for them. Sudoku and word puzzles had also gotten popular.

A book about crocheting magical creatures caught Robin’s attention. It claimed to contain twenty easy patterns. She picked it up to flip through, and kind of fell in love with the idea of making her child the plushie they carried everywhere and cherished into adulthood. A hat was probably more reasonable. There was also probably a lot involved in making sure a plushie was safe for a baby. She put the book back.

"Want to go look at the kitschy decor?" Steve asked.

"Absolutely."

They headed to the aisle lined with supposedly rustic signs that said a variety of puns and affirmations. It was like the store decided to dedicate shelf space to making customers think they could make something similar in the hopes they would spend more on the supplies. It seemed like a valid strategy. Robin certainly could make most of these herself, but once she thought about the supplies and time just buying the final product was more reasonable. That was if she wanted a sign that said ‘My prince did come and his name is Daddy’–

"Does Jonathan call you Daddy?" Robin asked with a snicker in her voice as she grabbed the sign to show Steve.

"No," he answered far too casually. "I joked about it once and he looked at me like he was going to bite my dick off. And considering where his mouth was…"

"I hate that I set myself up for that." Really, she set herself up for most of his oversharing. It was a hazard of not letting her anxiety scrutinize her every thought before it left her mouth. "We should take a picture. I bet Max and Will would get a kick out of it."

"You want to kinkshame Michaels?" Steve asked with clear amusement.

"Yes."

A giggle startled them both. They turned to see a young woman in a red employee vest restocking one of the promotional displays. Her black hair was partially dyed dark blonde and she wore bright makeup reminiscent of the ‘90s. Her nametag read ‘Cheyenne’. 

"Sorry," she said quickly, looking around as if expecting her manager to appear at any moment to scold her. Robin empathized, having worked for her own share of managers who liked the power trip of reprimanding any misstep. "I’ve just been kind of thinking the same thing since that came in." She glanced around again. "Do you want me to take the picture? My manager isn’t back from lunch for, like, ten minutes."

"Sure!" Robin got her phone out and pulled up the camera app.

She set the sign up on the floor to crouch beside with her fingers steepled in front of her lips to convey her judgement. Steve mirrored her on the other side. Cheyenne took the picture with a smile like this was the best part of her day.

"You two should model," she told them delightedly while handing the phone back over. "You’re super photogenic."

"Thanks," Steve said. "Since you’re here, could you help me pick out some crochet hooks? I wasn’t sure which ones would be the best for a bunch of preteens starting to learn. Cheap ones, obviously, but I don’t want to get the Roseart of crochet needles."

"Oh, of course. Beginners can get super discouraged by cheap supplies–"

Robin let Cheyenne lead Steve away as she sent the photo to ‘The Party’ group chat without context then headed to the bathroom. Her bladder had apparently missed the memo that she was in the second trimester. When she finally found Steve again, he had a slightly concerned look on his face.

"What’s wrong?" she asked.

"Check your phone."

The Party

Robin

Max
Michaels is truly a family store

Mike
That font combination is a choice

Will
Lol. Are you getting that for the baby’s room?

Dustin
How did that get approved?

Lucas
It could maybe be cute if daddy wasn’t so big

Mike
Phrasing

Max
Seriously? Lucas, we’re having a talk

Mike
Wait… Baby’s room?

"Damnit," Robin muttered. Will knew she was pregnant since he was close family, and it had been nice to have a friend who knew, but she had told him they were waiting to tell the rest of The Party. "Who decided he was Will the Wise? And how did they all see this so quickly? Don’t they have jobs? They’re adults now!"

"In theory," Steve responded with a shrug before offering, "We were planning on telling them soon, anyway. This is just the stupidest way possible."

"But we were going to tell Nancy first," Robin countered, trying to keep her voice steady despite the increasingly ridiculous scenarios playing out in her head.

She pulled up her private chat with Nancy that had been inactive for months. Even before that, there were just a few short exchanges that were mostly superficial attempts at being able to say they were still in touch. There was no new message or dots showing that something was incoming. Robin didn’t know why she expected there to be.

"It probably doesn’t matter," she murmured dejectedly. Nothing was the worst of the scenarios.

"Probably," Steve agreed with a sympathetic squeeze of her shoulder, "but not because she is going to hate you or thinks you’re selling out or whatever else you’ve convinced yourself of. I bet she’s just busy interrogating a member of congress or something."

Robin put her phone away. She didn’t know how to explain the miasma of thoughts and emotions threatening to engulf her. The fact she wanted to do more than just take a trip with Nancy was at the source of it, but she had been resisting being the next link in the Steve-Jonathan chain of trauma bonded dating for too long to acknowledge it now. 

"I need to check out," Steve continued gently. He took his keys out and handed them over to her. "Go call Nance or message her. Jonathan will understand you couldn't wait for him and I’ll text him a heads up. Then, we’ll go to the Art Institute so you can make fun of my attempts to understand abstract art, then we’ll get stuff for risotto on the way home."

Steve had asked Murray for his risotto recipe after Jonathan mentioned how good it was. He made it whenever Jonathan was stressed or in need of some comfort food. Affection broke through Robin’s tumult of feelings at being offered the same care. Steve always did, of course, but it had recently come with the knowledge he was going to raise their child with it. She thought of her little nugget with risotto smeared over their face as they started to experience new foods or curled up on the couch with a bowl of it when they weren’t feeling well.

Robin gratefully took the keys and retreated to the car before the thought maxe her start cryinf. The group chat had continued to be active, but it was only the last messages that mattered.

The Party

Will
Whoops, thought that was our private chat

Will
We joke Steve and Jonathan’s office is the baby’s room because of how Jonathan is about his equipment

Steve
He’s such a good mama

Mike, Dustin, Lucas reacted :sick | Max reacted :eyes: | Will reacted :100:

She closed the chat before sending Will a quick ‘nice save’ along with reassurance that she wasn’t upset. Then, she took a deep breath and called Nancy.

Nancy never really understood how the Russians had shown up in Hawkins. She knew why, of course, along with the broad strokes of how they exploited a corrupt system to build their underground base using Starcourt as a cover, but they seemed to just suddenly appear only for the entire operation to almost immediately become irrelevant. She dismissed it as not having the full story and the US government being at least somewhat competent until a lead she followed based on a gut feeling during her time at The Herald revealed a labyrinth of Russian interference. Starcourt had simply been one corridor, and mapping the rest quickly started to consume her life. Her mother and Jonathan began to worry, though it wasn’t until Murray voiced his concern that she started to think she was in too deep.

In her cramped, basement apartment, Nancy looked from her corkboard collage of evidence to the latest messages from Jonathan.

Jonathan
You’re burning yourself out
I’m not saying stop, but maybe take a break?
Or focus on something a little less intense for a bit
Flint still doesn’t have clean water.

Nancy scrolled up through their conversation for any proof he was overreacting. It was mostly check-ins given short, admittedly dismissive replies. Part of her wished he would just let her go and enjoy his perfectly boring little life married to a one-time jock. He just needed a house at the end of a cul-de-sac.

She immediately regretted the thought. It wasn’t fair to Jonathan or Steve, to begin with. They had all done enough in their teens and early twenties to deserve boring, and she was self-aware enough to recognize her own jealousy. She was one bunker and a freezer full of vodka away from having taken Murray’s place as the hermit conspiracy theorist. She also appreciated how tightly Jonathan held onto her. He’d been her best friend since before they started dating, and remained her best friend after.

Focusing on something a bit more concrete that could have tangible results was also a good idea. She could pitch it as a series on lead contamination due to a failing infrastructure in communities nationwide, and base herself in Flint to cover the efforts to restore clean water there. Being close enough to visit Jonathan and Steve for the weekend was an added benefit. Jonathan told her Robin was staying in Chicago for a year or two, as well, and it would be nice to reconnect with her.

Nancy would have to think about it more later. For now, she set her phone to ‘do not disturb’ before plugging it in to charge, and went to work on her article about the latest online hoax meant to spread distrust. She knew it was all linked to the Kremlin, but had yet to figure out how to expose anything beyond the obvious lies.

A few hours passed before she checked her phone again. The missed call and accompanying voicemail from Robin interrupted her plan of reviewing her news alerts before going out to pick up dinner and some tonic to go with the gin in her cabinet. 

Nancy hit play.

"Hi," Robin’s prerecorded voice said, "I’m just calling to say hi. No, sorry. That’s not true. There’s something I want to tell you so… call me back?"

The complicated cocktail of emotions Nancy tried to control with distance suddenly permeated her chest. Loneliness rose through the longing and affection to burn in the back of her throat. She tried to swallow it down only to gag on the bitterness of it. She missed Robin. She missed Jonathan, too, and Steve, and her family, and all of the relationships she had let go or ruined in the pursuit of success and truths she couldn’t expose alone. If nothing else, her inability to speak Russian created a language barrier she was unable to cross.

She dialed Robin’s number, unsure of what to expect. An intrusive thought suggested Robin was getting married, though Nancy didn’t know if she was even dating anyone. The idea of it infused the mix of emotions with remorse instead of the wistful happiness that accompanied memories of each milestone in Jonathan and Steve’s relationship.

"Hi!" Robin answered with a forced chipperness that betrayed how nervous she actually was.

"Hi," Nancy responded fondly. She immediately wished she had chosen a video call. She could picture Robin’s freckles, and bright blue eyes, and plush lips well enough, but Nancy adored watching how expressive she was. She wanted to see the little lines at the corners of Robin’s smile and the arch of her brows as she spoke.

"So, I don’t know if you’ve seen the group chat–"

"I haven’t," Nancy replied in the pause Robin offered. She had it muted because most of it was an irrelevant distraction. Jonathan would tell her anything important that came up, and the rest was usually just Mike and his friends talking about things that ultimately didn’t interest her or sharing memes.

"Oh, well, good. I can just tell you, then." Another pause. "I’m pregnant."

"You're what?" Of everything Nancy expected, that was probably the one thing she would have never considered. Lesbianism was pretty good birth control. Transwomen existed, though, and Nancy was also well acquainted with the questionable decisions too much alcohol could result in. "Robin, that’s…. Would you like me to go to a clinic with you? I can research places to make sure it’s somewhere legitimate and if you need someone to talk to–"

"What? No! It’s Steve’s."

Nancy was going to castrate him.

"Sorry, I just heard how that came out and realized I really needed to provide context," Robin continued in a rush of words. "I offered to be Steve and Jonathan’s surrogate and donor. Everything was completely on purpose and very much artificial. They sell kits on Amazon."

Nancy’s brow creased. "Kits?"

"Yeah. There was a cup and an applicator. It was not sexy at all. Well, my part wasn’t. The whole collection process very much did not involve me, so I happily have no idea how sexy or not sexy it was," Robin assured.

"That…" 

Nancy rarely found herself at a loss for words, but she couldn’t think of any that might form a response. She was mostly just struck by how sudden this felt. Jonathan hadn’t even told her they were trying. Of course, she never gave him a reason to. Their text history was proof enough of that.

"When are you due?" Nancy asked. That would at least give her a timeframe, and was a completely normal follow up to hearing someone was pregnant.

"End of September," Robin answered like it was already a well worn reflex. "I’m planning to stay in Chicago through the holidays to help out and recover since the first three months are supposedly really hard, then start taking some shorter trips before going back overseas. Did you know I've never really explored the United States? Or Canada, actually. I’ve been all over the world, but North America always just seemed too mundane."

"I could take you some places," Nancy offered on a whim. She had been all over the United States to track down online hoaxes and interview the people who fell for them. It would be nice to go just to experience the different pockets of American culture.

"That would be amazing," Robin exclaimed. Nancy could practically feel the warmth in her voice. It was nice. "I’ve actually been thinking of asking you on a trip. You know, after I’ve done my whole cuckoo thing."

Nancy laughed softly. "Being a surrogate for your best friend doesn’t sound cuckoo. It’s actually pretty sweet."

"Oh–"

The choked up syllable made Nancy afraid she said something wrong. She listened to Robin take a shuddery breath and wanted nothing more than to offer reassurance. Before she could say anything, however, Robin continued.

"Sorry. My hormones have been doing a number on my emotions. Like, I cried the other day because my nipples look weird." She chuckled, and Nancy felt she might get a bit choked up herself at how easy the conversation was. "I meant the bird, though I guess I’m not really just laying my egg in Steve and Jonathan’s nest then leaving… That sounded weird. I mean, I still want to be involved, just not in a way where I have to be around all the time. Even if that is kind of selfish."

"Why? Men do it all the time," Nancy noted.

"Exactly! I always wanted kids, but didn’t want to devote years to raising them or give up my other dreams. Then Steve told me he and Jonathan had basically given up on having kids, and it seemed like the perfect opportunity."

"Opportunity?" Nancy balked. 

From her perspective, it was closer to a sacrifice. Pregnancy was body horror. Organs and hormones shifted to support a growing mass of cells that gradually gained sentience. Sure, that mass eventually became their own, independent being, but just the idea of something moving inside of her made Nancy’s skin crawl. Then there was the entire birthing process. Even medical assistance seemed like a nightmare. She had done research to satisfy her curiosity when her mother was pregnant with Holly, and epidural needles were large, as were c-section scars.

"I like new experiences," Robin defended quietly after a long pause. 

There was something like a whimper trembling behind the indifference of her guarded tone. Knowing she caused it ripped Nancy’s heart straight out of her chest. She could practically see Robin slipping on the mask she wore in high school to protect herself from criticism.

"I’m sorry." Nancy gentled her voice, doing her best to release any of her personal biases. It was a skill she was still developing. "That came out wrong."

"Did it?"

"No," Nancy sighed. "I still shouldn't have said it. You want to bring a new life into this world, and that’s a really amazing thing. My personal views really don't matter, anyway, because it’s your body. And I bet your nipples probably look great."

That got Robin to laugh, which Nancy counted as a victory. She loved Robin’s laugh.

"And I’d love to go on a trip with you," she continued, feeling emboldened by the thought. "We should do something before you have the baby, though. It’s not like you can’t travel while pregnant."

"I know," Robin said, "but my hormones have also been doing a number on my anxiety. Being out of the first trimester should help, since the risk of miscarriage is a lot lower." After a breath, she added, "Having you there would, too."

"You could show me around Chicago to start," Nancy offered. It had been a few years since she last visited Jonathan and Steve, and there was a lot of the city she hadn’t seen.

"Maybe we could solve a mystery while you’re here," Robin suggested lightly. "You know, for old time’s sake."

"How about we start with your favorite restaurant?" Nancy settled on her couch. The news alerts and gin could wait. "My treat."

Robin’s pregnancy was relatively easy up until an ultrasound showed the placenta was over her cervix. Even then, the diagnosis was something to monitor with instructions to avoid strenuous activity. She sublet her apartment to Nancy, who had been offered a position as an investigative journalist at the Chicago Tribune, and moved into the spare room Steve and Jonathan previously used as an office. Minor bleeding late into her third trimester put her on partial bedrest. She spent the few weeks needed for her pregnancy to reach term watching foreign and indie films or reading in between translating website copy for a marketing firm. Nancy visited her frequently during that time, usually with takeout from Robin’s favorite restaurants or a new book, and they did girls' nights like they were back in school.

Then, Robert Buckley Harrington-Byers, or Bobby, was brought into the world.

The c-section that cut him out of her caused Robin to hemorrhage enough to need a transfusion. Jonathan immediately took over caring for her–their–newborn while Steve managed all communication with their family and friends and the hospital to let her focus on recovering. Even feedings would have been handled for her if she hadn’t requested to let Bobby nurse. Nights were the major exception, since Bobby slept in a bassinet beside his dads’ bed and Robin pumped enough to not have her sleep disturbed. During the day, however, she enjoyed the opportunity to bond with her son.

Robin stroked Bobby’s downy head as he nursed, swaying gently while she sang and watched his bright blue eyes grow heavy. He stubbornly fought sleep like he always did, jerking awake and suckling with renewed enthusiasm each time he started to drift off. Despite his insistence, Robin knew he was losing the battle. He was only six months old, and existence was tiring enough without being cozy in the blanket Steve crocheted him with a belly full of warm milk.

"If I go there will be trouble," she cooed melodically to the baby in her arms. The yarn Steve’d chosen for the blanket was a sky-blue speckled with dark brown and gold that made the bundle in Robin’s arms remind her of a chick only partially free of its colorful shell. "And if I stay it will be double."

"Nancy is here," Jonathan said from the doorway.

Bobby immediately unlatched to look toward his father’s familiar voice. He started to tiredly fuss, mostly repeating a mumbly ‘aahm’ sound that Robin swore was reserved solely for Jonathan. Her working theory was that Steve jokingly referred to Jonathan as mama enough that it had stuck in Bobby’s quickly developing brain. Of course she knew the sound was most likely just babbling, but she liked to think her child inherited her skill with languages.

Jonathan took the infant to hold against the cloth draped over his shoulder. He gently rubbed and patted Bobby’s back as Robin fixed her shirt.

"Are you sure you’re okay with me leaving?" she asked. She and Nancy were going to Nashville for the week with overnight stops in Indianapolis and Louisville. It was her first trip away from Bobby for more than a few hours, and while Jonathan and Steve were excellent parents who didn’t need her, she still felt like she was doing something wrong.

Bobby burped. Jonathan used the cloth to wipe up the dribble of milky spit that came up before shifting Bobby to his other shoulder and throwing the cloth in the hamper.

"The freezer is stocked," he assured Robin in the calm tone she had overheard him using with Joyce more than once, "and we have formula as backup. He’s been doing good with the purees, though."

Robin smiled at the memory of Bobby’s face covered in colorful smears of produce. Steve had made a palette of avocado, bananas, sweet potato, and broccoli then made a show of dipping his finger into each one to taste. Most of it ended up being used as fingerpaints, but Jonathan got some adorable photos.

"I’ll send pics to the group chat daily and leave a note if we need to go save the world," Jonathan continued dryly enough Robin wasn’t completely sure if he was joking. "We’ll be fine. Go enjoy a trip with your girlfriend."

Robin could feel the beginning of a blush warming her cheeks. Since reconnecting with Nancy, they had certainly done girlfriend things. They went on dates in everything but name and took a trip to Saugatuck for a long weekend before Robin’s bedrest to relax on the beach and shop. Nancy had also been incredibly supportive, which made all of Robin’s initial fears seem silly. It was nice to know Nancy Wheeler was still full of surprises. The problem was that a lot of the girlfriend things were also just friend things for women, and their relationship still felt too fragile to address anything directly.

"She’s not my girlfriend."

The start of Jonathan’s knowing smile quietly teased her.

"Unless she said something…"

Jonathan’s lips curled cryptically before he left the room. Robin grabbed her bag then followed him, resisting the urge to demand an explanation. Jonathan’s intuition about these things was better than Steve’s, so Robin would reevaluate her commitment to not address anything directly if he thought she should. Pressing him for information never worked, however, especially if the answers would require him to betray Nancy’s trust.

In the living room, they found Steve advising a politely exasperated Nancy on the best route to take to Indianapolis.

"Make sure the GPS is set to avoid tolls," he said with his hands casually on his hips. He’d grown a full mustache that was currently accompanied by a few days worth of scruffy facial hair. "It’ll take an extra twenty or thirty minutes, but you’d probably spend that in traffic, anyway. Do you want me to check the fluids and tire pressure real quick before you go? It wouldn’t take long to top everything off."

"Steve," Jonathan interrupted flatly. He kissed his husband. "Shut up."

Nancy’s eyes lit up when she saw Robin and the tight smile on her lips bloomed with delight.

"Are you ready to go?" she asked brightly.

Robin looked from Nancy to Bobby, uncertain of the answer. Leaving had always been her plan, but the reality of it was harder than she expected.

As she watched, Steve moved to put his arm around Jonathan. He quietly murmured to their son as he rubbed his back. Bobby tiredly babbled and whimpered his objections.

"It’s alright, little man. You can go to sleep" Steve encouraged gently. "Mama’s got you." He nuzzled against Jonathan’s cheek before pressing a kiss against his temple. "And I got Mama."

Jonathan’s feigned annoyance was betrayed by the affection in his eyes and the warmth of his smile. In his arms, Bobby continued to fuss until a yawn interrupted him. He finally let his head fall into the crook of Jonathan’s neck and quieted into sleep.

Robin’s heart melted. She made that tiny human, and he was well cared for and unconditionally loved by two of the most important people in her life. Nancy’s hand slipped into hers. Robin squeezed it as she turned to her with a tender smile.

"Yeah," she finally answered, "I’m ready."