Work Text:
Abolish was tired. He’d fallen into bed as soon as he’d returned home the night before, hardly having the energy to shuck off the dress pants and collared shirt that were now crumpled on the floor. He rolled over, turning away from them with a sigh and closing his eyes for a long moment. Though he’d just woken up it felt like a struggle to reopen them again, eyelids feeling as if they’d been glued together. It made no sense that he was this tired, especially considering that he should be needing less sleep than the average person, not more.
The thought only made the dull ache of wrongness in his chest intensify, disappointment in himself weighing him further into his mattress. He had things he needed to do–he hadn’t even eaten the night before, opting to just collapse into bed–and yet he could hardly bring himself to grab his phone from the nightstand, much less set about making himself food.
Flipping open the mostly dead phone that he couldn’t bother to grab the charger for Abolish typed out a quick message before setting the device back down. He’d cancelled the meeting he was supposed to be leading later, though doing so only intensified the guilt he felt. Regardless, he knew he didn’t have the mental capacity to lead an important meeting that day, much less to prepare for it in the first place. Even perceiving himself felt like a task at the moment, one that he’d rather not bear.
Burrowing deeper under the covers, Abolish closed his eyes again. Ignoring the pit of hunger and something more emotional that he refused to acknowledge he closed his eyes. Once he felt a bit better he’d get up, just a quick nap to get rid of the malaise that had washed over him, he reassured himself as he fell asleep.
Abolish had intended to make good on his promise, he really had. He’d sat up, pushing away the weight upon his limbs as best he could and making his way to the bathroom. Almost immediately he made eye contact with himself in the mirror.
Even what little features he could make out through the haze of his reflection looked wrong. He was such a weirdo, hardly even worthy of companionship, even or maybe because of all he’d done. Never mind that he’d long since made up to his friends for their shared past, it would never truly be forgotten. It would be easier for everybody if he just saved them the trouble of speaking to him entirely, fading into the background where he wouldn’t be perceived at all.
Feeling as if the pit in his stomach were eating him alive, Abolish went back to bed.
–
When Abolish woke up, it was to his phone buzzing on his nightstand. The high-pitched noise reminded him of a bee, buzzing in his ear and only serving to make him annoyed. With a sigh he picked it up, looking at the screen. It was already almost eight in the evening, he’d wasted a whole day just sleeping, and still he didn’t feel any better. Regardless, seeing as the call was coming from Scott and he knew from experience that not answering would only make things worse for him, Abolish picked up the call,
“Hello?” Had his voice always sounded like that?
“Abolish, finally! You weren’t answering any of my texts, I was starting to think I’d have to break down the door to get a response from you,” Scott complained, his tone light. Abolish did his best to match the enthusiasm when he responded, though it felt as if his very life force were being drained as he did so,
“Sorry I was just…busy,” why couldn’t he think of a better excuse than that?
“Its quite alright doll, I understand,” Scott’s voice had softened considerably, somehow always able to pick up on the subtle shifts of the other man’s emotions, “do you want me to come make you dinner, let you relax a bit?” Abolish’s stomach growled so loudly he was sure the vampire could hear it through the phone, a stark reminder that he hadn’t eaten in well over 24 hours at that point. Regardless, he didn’t have the energy to talk to someone right now. Not to mention the fact that Scott coming over to take care of him again would only serve to intensify the unplaceable guilt he was currently feeling,
“It’s alright, I just ate. I’ll probably just watch something on tv then go to bed, you don’t need to inconvenience yourself,” he reassured him, though deep down having someone who would come over and take care of him sounded really nice at the moment. What he’d do for a hug right now. Feeling tears pricking at the back of his eyes Abolish pushed the thought away, realizing he hadn’t been focusing at all on what Scott had been saying, “Sorry what was that?”
“I was just saying that I can literally see your balcony door from here and you haven’t left your room all evening which leaves me to assume that you haven’t left it all day. In other words, you’re not fooling me Abolish. If you really don’t want me to come over I won’t but I think you could really use the company.”
Curse Scott and his centuries of experience in reading people, not to mention his slightly stalkerish tendencies. How he’d managed to decode all that so easily Abolish would never be able to figure out, but if Scott was offering to come over knowing full well what he was stumbling into…maybe it would be nice to have someone to cook for him, “If you’re sure, I guess you can. The bathroom window’s open, you’ll have to bat in.”
There was slight relief evident in Scott’s voice as he replied, “Alright, I'll be over in just a second. Hold tight, okay?” With a quiet click the call ended, and Abolish set his phone back on the nightstand, hands shaking slightly. Sitting up slightly in bed he ran a hand through his tangled hair, as if it could do anything to disguise the exhaustion that hung off his body like tattered fabric.
Never mind that, at least he wasn’t drunk out of his mind this time. Wincing internally at the first time Scott had come to his apartment, Abolish turned his gaze toward the bedroom door, already hearing neat footsteps on the carpet. A moment later a head appeared in the doorway, faintly blue hair windswept from the flight between apartment buildings,
“There you are,” Scott smiled softly, eyes crinkling and reflecting that it was a rare genuine expression, “thanks for letting me come over.” Padding across the room, he sat down on the edge of the bed. Crimson eyes darted over Abolish’s skinny frame as if looking for injuries, clearly noting the man’s hunched position, as well as how tightly he had clasped his hands together, before returning to his face, “what do you need doll? I’ll get one of the girls to drop it off if you don’t have it.”
“No, it’s fine. I’m fine,” Abolish muttered, though everything about him screamed the opposite. Scott pursed his lips in a small yet dissatisfied expression, taking the hunter’s hands in his own significantly colder ones and rubbing his thumbs across his palms,
“Stop lying to me, you know it won’t work. And don’t start on some ‘I don’t want to inconvenience you’ bullshit because the only time being wasted here is time I’m not helping you,” Scott prodded, skipping straight past the usual argument they had on days like this. Finally, Abolish gave in,
“I guess…I could use something to eat,” he conceded, feeling a coil of guilt within him at inviting the man over just so he could do things for him.
“There we go,” giving Abolish one final gentle look Scott stood up again, “I’ll go make you something. You’re welcome to join me,” he called over his shoulder, leaving the room just as quickly as he’d entered, though he headed in the opposite direction from which he came.
For another moment Abolish stayed where he was, harshly feeling the contrast of the sharp stillness compared to Scott’s smooth grace. His fingers twitched against his blanket, the only sign of his internal struggle as he considered the offer. After a long moment he took a deep breath as if bracing himself to leap into cold water before finally sliding out of bed.
Picking up one of the various shirts he’d left discarded around his room he put it on, ignoring how wrinkled it was. As fashion-oriented as he was, he was sure Scott wouldn’t mind.
With quiet, dragging footsteps he made his way to the main living space, sitting down at the stool at the kitchen counter. From his position on the other side of the counter, Scott glanced up at him from where he’d been putting together a quick, simple sandwich, “Hey, you.”
“Hey,” lacking the energy to carry on a real conversation, Abolish leaned his arms against the counter, watching as Scott carefully placed a few pieces of lunch meat on the bread. Humming softly in response he quickly finished the task, Scott quickly finished his task, allowing a comfortable silence to stretch between them as he did so.
“There you go, doll,” blinking rapidly–when had he zoned out? Abolish dutifully picked up the sandwich that had been slid toward him,
“Thanks,” he murmured, biting into the food quickly. Though he’d spent much of the day feeling little else than hunger, now that sustenance was in front of him he found himself hardly able to swallow the small bite he’d taken. The bread tasted dry and ashy while the fillings felt almost slimy in his mouth, as if they’d been left outside on a warm day. After only a few bites he set the sandwich down entirely, no longer feeling hungry at all.
“Is that all you want?” Scott’s voice was still so gentle. Why wasn’t he disappointed or angry that Abolish had hardly touched the food he’d put time and effort into making? It’s not like he could just eat it instead, it would simply go to waste.
Wrapping his arms loosely around his torso, Abolish nodded silently. He could feel the man’s eyes burning into the top of his head as he stared at the rejected plate in front of him, guilt once again screaming in the back of his mind.
“Okay,” the concession came with no argument, accompanied by a gentle hand on his shoulder, “want to go back to bed now?”
Leaning into the comforting touch, Abolish allowed himself to finally begin to feel a bit less alone for a moment before standing, “Yeah. Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize, doll. You’re doing your best,” he was reassured as the hand on his shoulder fell to the small of his back, pushing him down the hall gently yet insistently. Feeling a small yet welcome spark of warmth in his heart at those words, Abolish allowed him to do so.
While he most definitely wasn’t performing anywhere near his best, the fact that at least one person wasn’t disappointed in him acted as a slight balm to his aching heart.
Moments later he was settling back onto the mattress, Scott spreading out the rumpled sheets more neatly and picking up the blanket that had fallen on the floor. Having finished the minute task he leaned back over Abolish, running his fingers through his multicoloured hair, “Better?” he asked, hands sliding down to cup his face for a second before falling away entirely.
“Yeah,” before Scott could ask any other questions he grabbed his hand, tugging him onto the bed next to him, “stay, please?” A small part of him cringed at how pathetic he sounded, but it was largely outweighed by a crippling desire to not be alone. For some strange reason Abolish felt as if Scott left he’d manage to slip through the cracks of the universe, slipping away to somewhere he wouldn’t be able to crawl back out of until he was long forgotten.
“Of course,” Scott agreed, immediately settling in next to him, wrapping one arm loosely around his waist and grabbing out his phone with the other. After a moment of clicking, Abolish could see a familiar pixelated snake on the small screen, something so characteristically Scott that he couldn’t help but smile softly for a moment. Tucking himself closer to the vampire’s side, he contented himself with watching the repetitive game. Where one of his hands rested on the vampire’s chest he could feel the faint rumbling of purring, grounding him in the moment.
He still felt like shit and likely would for a while longer, but at least someone cared this time. Maybe, after such a long time of being nothing but a living soldier, he could finally focus on the living part, instead of just hurtling forward until he inevitably crashed into a wall.
That sounded like…a lot right now.
Maybe when he wasn’t quite so tired he could work on that, he decided. For now, he could content himself with where he was.