Work Text:
Hii always liked it better in the dark. There was something comforting about it for both of them. It was easier to hide, no pressure to be seen, and if anything was there with them Hii would usually notice before anything happened. And what was usually accompanied by darkness was sleep, which came with its own positives, usually.
But tonight… something was off. Hii looked around the featureless void he stood in, it was darker than usual. It was always dim but never this dark. And not just visually, there was something heavy about it that pressed against Hii’s chest, like an emotion, or a feeling. Ah, wait it’s been like this before…
A Nightmare.
Hii turned around to try and spot anything in the nothing. His eyes landed on a spot where the darkness seemed to almost congeal in the space, twisting and swirling like hair underwater. He walked towards it, his footfalls getting heavier with step he took forward. At the centre, he could make out Fu’s form, curled up with his knees to his chest and his back turned towards Hii. His hands threaded through his hair and tugged at his scalp rhythmically. If it was an attempt to calm oneself it wasn’t working very well. Hii approached closer and crouched down to Fu’s level, sitting beside yet still slightly behind him.
“Hey, wimp. Its time to go, snap out of it.” Fu didn’t respond.
“Can't you hear me? I said snap out of it.“ Hii reached out to place his hand on Fu’s shoulder—
Fu sat bolt upright with a choked sound, causing the doll next to him to get flung off the bed and land with an unceremonious clatter on the ground.
“Ow…” Hii responded, unconvincingly. It wasn’t like he was completely unfeeling when trapped in the doll, but he could still tell if he’d been knocked around violently enough.
Fu was still panting when he turned his head to see what he’d (unintentionally) done. He yelped in alarm and immediately clambered off the bed to pick Hii up off the ground.
“OH— Hii— S- sorry! I’m sorry!” Fu sputtered out broken apologies while trying not to start sobbing, himself.
“Calm down, you loser, You didn’t break me this time, either.”
Fu sighed shakily in relief. He leaned back against the bed frame, clutching the doll to his chest. He sniffed back tears as he trembled, running his fingers through Hii’s fur, trying to steady his breathing. Nightmares were never fun. But he hadn’t had one this bad in a long while.
“You gonna talk about it or nah?” Hii questioned.
Fu responded with a quiet whimper, bringing his knees up to his chest and resting his chin on the doll’s head. It took him a minute to stop sniffling but eventually, he spoke.
“W— I was back there… in Zodyl’s trash beast, when they left us… b- but he was actually there this time and—“ Fu choked back a sob. “I— I tried to grab you so you could get us out again but— but you weren’t there a— and it felt like… like you’d left me. Like everyone else leaves me, and…“ He curled in on himself even further. “That you’d be right for lea—“
“Fu.” His breath hitched at the sound of his name.
“Shut up and look at me for a second,” Hii ordered. Fu hesitantly obliged, gingerly holding up the doll in front of him like he was afraid it’d shatter into a million shards at any moment. He stared into it’s empty button-eyes while trying to disappear into the collar of his hoodie.
“I’m never gonna leave you. I never could leave you not even if I wanted to, which I don’t. You got that, moron?”
Fu nodded meekly in return.
“You chose me. And I chose you back. And we’re gonna keep each other safe til our heart stops beating, I’ll make sure of that.”
Fu nodded more confidently this time, wiping what was left of the tears that had formed in his watery eyes away with his sleeve. He pressed his forehead against Hii’s, he wasn’t quite sure if the warmth that the doll seemed to radiate at that moment was a result of having absorbed so much of Fu’s body heat, or something else entirely.
“Right.. yeah, you’re right.”
“Of course I am, that's why you keep me around,” Hii replied, smugly.
Fu pressed the doll back against his chest, wrapping his arms around his knees, the closest he could get to hugging his other half in the real world. He let out a broken sigh as his breathing finally found a steadier rhythm.
“This room is depressing. You should go get some water,” Hii suggested.
Fu made an affirmative noise, giving himself and Hii one last squeeze before shakily standing up. He placed the doll in the pocket of his hoodie, and his hand stayed there alongside it, like he was afraid that if he could no longer see or feel Hii’s form he’d disappear. Fu glanced around the mostly barren room, the only light source being the faint moonlight coming from the windows. He didn’t have many belongings, even before deserting the Raiders. But the emptiness of the space really cemented it in. “What a sad sight.” Hii had commented when he’d first laid down on the sheet-less mattress.
Fu approached the door and opened it to step out into the hallway. Most of the lights were certainly out at this hour, the darkness and winding hallways almost reminded him of his time at the Raiders HQ. He was fairly certain he knew where the mess hall was, and even if he wasn’t, Hii corrected him the few times he took a wrong turn. After a couple minutes of walking he spotted the chalkboard sign outside the double doors reading ‘dinnin hall’. He stepped forward and pushed open one of the heavy doors, scanning the dark interior of the hall. He then clasped a hand over his mouth to muffle his shriek of absolute terror as two bright red eyes met his from across the room.
Fu nearly stumbled backwards into the hallway at the sight. The pale, red eyed stranger seemed just as alarmed as Fu, brandishing an empty glass cup in their hand like it was a weapon. Then their wide eyes narrowed as they actually got a good look at who’d just entered the mess hall and their posture relaxed.
“That’s just the kid with the gloves you moron!!”
Rudo blinked a few times before putting down the glass and raising his hands to show he wasn’t a threat.
“Woah, chill. I was just here for some water,” the boy explained. Fu released a breath he didn’t realise he was holding before he replied.
“Oh— yeah, I— me too, I— s— sorry, about that…” He fidgeted with his hands that he’d stuck back in his pocket. He considered sprinting straight back to his room and forgetting he’d ever left it. Rudo tilted his head questioningly, staring at Fu with those piercing red eyes that felt like they saw straight through his own and into his brain.
“Do… you want me to get you a cup?” Rudo asked, gesturing to the curtain that separated the main hall from the kitchen.
“I— if that’s alright,” Fu answered sheepishly, still trembling slightly from his earlier fright.
Rudo grabbed his own glass and disappeared into the doorway. Fu stepped slightly further into the room, making sure there wasn’t anyone else hiding behind the doors or anything.
“It’s the middle of the night nobody else is in here, idiot,” Hii reminded him.
“Yeah, I know. Then what was Rudo doing here?” Fu muttered under his breath.
“Hell if I know. Kid’s a mystery. It freaks me out.” Fu sighed in defeat. Then Rudo emerged from the kitchen, holding a full glass of water. Fu finally walked over to the other side of the room, just next to the bar to accept the cup with still shaky hands.
“Uhm— thank you…” He nodded. Rudo gave him a thumbs up gesture in return.
“Yeah, no—“ Rudo yawned, “No problem. I’m gonna get back to sleeping,” He added, walking past Fu towards the doorway. He turned his head back to glance at Fu one last time before walking out into the hallway
“‘Night, Fu,” He said sleepily. Fu gave him a meek wave in return.
“Goodnight…” And Rudo was gone. And it was just Fu and his other half in the Cleaners mess hall. He looked over at one of the tables near the side of the hall and went to take a seat at it. He took a sip from the glass of cold water before setting it down on the table. Then reached into his pocket to grab Hii and set the doll on the table as well. Fu slumped down onto the counter with a sigh, crossing his arms around the doll and resting his head on them. He glanced at Hii where he rested against his upper arm, the doll as unexpressive as always.
“…Do you ever wish you had someone—“
“Shut up.” Fu nearly flinched at how quick that answer was.
“No. I don’t think about having anyone else. I wanted you, I want you, and I’ll always want you. Nobody else.” Hii stated bluntly. Fu blinked at the doll a few times in silence
“I’m yours. And you’re mine. Wether your pathetic ass likes it or not.” Fu just stared for a moment, letting the words sink in. Then pressed his face up against Hii, feeling the doll’s fur brush against the bridge of his nose.
“You mean it?” He asked with no real questioning.
“Of course I mean it, I always mean it,” Hii confirmed. An idiotic grin spread across Fu’s face as he almost snickered.
“Thank you, Hii”
“No need to thank me you sap.” If Hii had eyes at that moment he would’ve rolled them. Fu indulged himself in staying there for a few more moments before sitting up, holding on to the doll to make sure it didn’t fall over. He reached for the glass of water and finished it. He looked around for a place he could leave it, deciding on leaving it on the bar counter where it'd no longer be his problem, so he did exactly that. Then turned back to the table where he’d left Hii for that moment.
Fu picked up the doll in both his hands and just stared, then looked around as if he was expecting someone to be there. After confirming the emptiness of the dining hall, he brought the doll up to his face and pressed a quick kiss against Hii’s forehead before placing him back in his hoodie pocket. Hii made a sound almost like a laugh as Fu made his way to the exit.
“It’s cute how pathetic you are every time you do that.”
Fu felt his face heat up and he started walking faster.
“Oh, quiet, you.” Even with whatever shred of authority he tried to muster in his tone, Hii was right, he did sound pathetic. He stepped back out into the hallway. This time a lot more confident in his ability to navigate the halls of HQ, even if he did still take a wrong turn once or twice.
Fu pushed open the door to the room he’d been designated, stepping in and immediately flopping dramatically onto the bed. He rolled over onto his back and reached into his pocket to place Hii on his chest, both of them staring up at the popcorn ceiling. Fu threaded his hands together and placed them over the doll’s torso. Then just… focused on his own breathing, as a familiar humming (buzzing?) Sound filled his head.
Ah, right, that was the sound of Hii purring. The pattern of Fu’s breathing stuttered as he giggled at that realisation.
“So, who’s pathetic, again?” He attempted to quip back.
“Still you. So shut it,” Hii responded. Fu just shrugged, sitting up to pull the cheap blanket he’d been given over himself. He curled up on his side with the doll pressed up against his chest and closed his eyes, finally feeling himself drift off into unconsciousness.
—————————————————
Fu stood in his usual empty void of a dream world. This time it was lighter, no looming darkness or feeling of dread. There was a soft energy to it, almost claustrophobic but in a nice way, like a pillow fort or being underneath a large blanket. And Hii was there this time, in his hand— no, holding his hand. Fu looked at his other half with fondness.
“If you keep staring at me like that I’m gonna knock you over,” Hii stated. Fu could tell he wasn’t bluffing, Hii never lied, it was one of the things Fu loved about him most, yet he still tilted his head sweetly with half lidded eyes at the other. So Hii made good on his word and disconnected their hands to push Fu over onto the ground, who made a sound somewhere between a squeak and a yelp in response. It didn’t hurt at all, in fact the ground was quite comfortable. He sat up only to find Hii was already back at his side.
“I’m real annoying, aren’t I” Fu mentioned, mostly rhetorically but with enough of a sliver of sincerity that made Hii’s look soften and his brow furrow.
“Yes, when you want to be. And even when you don’t,” Hii started. “Mostly when you don’t… But I’d sooner rip my own soul to shreds than have it any other way.”
Fu smiled, joining their hands together and burying his face in the crook of Hii’s neck. Whatever they were now, messy as it was, it was them. And theirs, and they were each other’s. And it was safe here. And that was nice.
This dream was definitely better than the one previous.