Work Text:
"Girls, you will be good for babulya and dedulya, yes?” Ilya asked his daughters softly as he knelt down in front of them in Yuna and David’s living room. Though he keeps on top of his workouts, made easier with Shane being retired and therefore home to look after the kids, without the constant hockey his body has softened ever so slightly, but he was still a mammoth of a man and dwarfed his little girls. He cannot believe how small they are, even though they are five and three and used to be much smaller.
“Da pappy,” Alina said with a little eye roll. That was something she had learnt only recently. “We’re always good for babulya and dedulya.”
“DA!” Mila added with a shout. God their girls were loud sometimes, especially Mila.
They both looked more like Shane, with their Asian heritage, though they certainly had Ilya’s curls, all of which were a funny coincidence since all their children were adopted. It was slightly on purpose. They had considered surrogacy at one point but they both felt that there were plenty of children already in the world, or pregnant women ready to pop but not ready for parenthood, that it didn’t make sense for them to bring more children into the world. But, they had, even if selfishly, still wanted children that looked a little like them.
When they first adopted Alina Yu, Shane and Ilya were over the moon. Shane was happy just to be a father with Ilya, which of course Ilya was happy about too, but more than that he just couldn’t believe his luck. They had a mini-Shane. The love they created in their home as first time parents threw Ilya back to his own childhood and the connection he had with his mother. He’d forgotten how it felt to be surrounded and encompassed by familial love. Of course, Shane, Yuna, and David had all played integral parts in healing Ilya’s soul in that regard, but to have his own child was a whole other ballpark.
And then they had little Mila Mei two years later. Now, they had intended to only have two children. Shane had been adamant that one would have to look more like Ilya, but Ilya was quite content to have all his children look like Shane if he could get away with it.
So, once Alina was a little older and Ilya felt he could handle 24/7 care of another baby, since Shane was still playing hockey, they had gotten in touch with their old social worker and started looking. To Ilya’s delight, the social worker told them about a little baby girl of Asian heritage that had been abandoned at a fire station. There had been a small note with a few basic facts like her date of birth, putting her at around 2 months old already, but no name. Of course, Ilya wasn’t delighted about the abandonment itself, but he knew as soon as he heard the story that this was supposed to be their little girl number two.
Shane, of course, freaked out because it went against the 50-year plan he’d already laid out in his head, even in the most miniscule way, but it didn’t take him long to fold when he saw how much Ilya wanted to at least meet this baby girl.
And once they did meet, well Shane was very very angry to see such a small baby left to fend for herself and very very adamant that yes, they would be taking her home. And when Mila was a little older and her hair started to curl just like Alina’s did, just like Ilya’s, Shane’s love only grew tenfold, which he didn’t even know could be possible.
And that had been the way of things for a little while. A family of five, because let’s not forget their actual first daughter Anya. And then Shane was about to retire and he always felt a little bad that he had missed so much of the girls’ youngest years due to work, and they still didn’t have a baby that looked more like Ilya, and he loved his girls so much his heart overflowed most days, but he started to wonder. What would it be like to have a boy? A mini-Ilya.
Shane had been apprehensive to bring up having another baby when they had agreed to just have two, but as soon as Shane opened his mouth Ilya was grinning ear to ear and agreeing enthusiastically. So, when their social worker told them about a teenage girl who had fallen pregnant and wanted to give her son up for adoption when he was born, Shane and Ilya went to meet her. They learnt that she was Russian, had moved to Canada as a girl, but the most phenomenal thing was how much she seemed to resemble Ilya’s late mother, even down to the curls.
They told her that if she ever changed her mind and wanted to meet her son one day, the door would always be open for her, and a few short months later, after Shane had played his last ever NHL game, Misha Rei was born. He was born with a few tufts of blonde hair so white you might not even notice he had any hair at all in some lighting, and when he opened his eyes, they were as blue and deep as the ocean.
And so, their family was finally complete with two mini-Shane’s and one gentle mini-Ilya.
“Mila Mei, inside voice remember,” Shane gently scolded. Mila didn’t even flinch, simply clutched her blanky, white with stars, tighter. She’d had that thing since she was born and it wasn’t particularly white anymore, but she freaked out if her fathers ever tried to take it from her.
“Da,” she replied. Shane was adamant that Ilya teach all the children Russian, just as he himself taught them French. “I know daddy.” She was really turning into a little sassy monster.
Shane scowled and looked at Ilya. “This is your fault you know,” he said but Ilya needed a little processing time. He couldn’t help it staring at his husband with their 6-month-old son wrapped up in his arms. His brain always short-circuited a little at the wonderful sight.
“Huh, what is?”
Shane scoffed. “Well, they take after their papa.”
Ilya just grinned, kissed both his girls’ heads, where their curls were falling out of the braids he’d delicately put them in this morning, and stood up as they ran off to play.
“Don’t worry Shane, we’ll tire them out so they’re ready for bed when you get back,” Yuna said walking over to run a gentle hand across Misha’s head. His hair had grown in substantially since he was born, though the blonde locks still laid mostly flat against his scalp. The ends had just started to show a little curl though, and it had taken both girls up to a year before their hair got more noticeably curly, so Shane wasn’t worried or so he claimed. Shane had a weird obsession with Ilya’s curls, and all the kids having them too, that Ilya found somewhat endearing. He himself wouldn’t have cared at all if all their kids had plain straight hair like Shane–it certainly would have made things easier in the mornings.
Though Ilya did have a slight obsession with Shane’s freckles and hoped their children would have them too. However, not even Alina as the oldest had developed any yet, but their children were still quite young and there was plenty of time for freckles to still develop in all of them. Ilya would continue to hope that would be the case anyway.
“Yes, go on boys. Have fun!” David added as he sat on the floor pulling out toys for the girls.
Shane and Ilya were going to have a little date night. It was hard to find quality time with each other when you had three young kids, and what time they did find was usually spent having sex, so date night was a rare occurrence.
David and Yuna had agreed to babysit the girls so Shane and Ilya could go out for a nice meal. Of course, Shane had insisted they at least bring Misha with them because he was still so young, though Ilya knew he was just nervous to spend time away from their little boy. Unlike with the girls, Shane hadn’t spent a single night away from Misha since he was born. Not that Ilya minded. He really did love his little family, and he was happy to be around any number of them for any number of time.
Though he was hoping that he and Shane would still be able to find themselves with an hour or so tonight without being too exhausted, once the kids had all been put to bed. No matter how much he loved his family, he still preferred their rare date nights to end with sex.
“Yes. Yes, c’mon Shane moy lyubimyy,” Ilya said ushering them out of the house.
“Okay okay, bye girls!” Shane said letting his husband push him out the door. He frowned a little realising the girls didn’t say anything back, probably too absorbed with their toys already. His parents did have far too many and definitely let them play longer than they should.
Once they’d strapped Misha into his car seat, the two men pulled out of the driveway and headed off to their destination. Shane had been tempted to sit in the back with Misha, but he really was old enough now that it wasn’t necessary. Ilya was pleased because it meant he could rest his hand on Shane’s thigh as he drove.
“We won’t be out too late tonight, right?” Shane asked, his hand resting on top of Ilya’s on his thigh. “Just, you know how fussy Misha can get now that he’s teething.”
“I know sweetheart. Won’t be out late, just dinner and then back to collect the girls and then home,” Ilya supplied immediately easing Shane’s worries. He had been anxious with the girls too as babies, but now that he was a little more present at home–physically present that is because Shane’s heart has always been present with his children from the second they were born–he just gave himself more time to think about everything that could or would go wrong.
“And hopefully when the kids are all in bed, we can find some time alone, eh?” Ilya asked wiggling his eyebrows at Shane. Shane smiled and squeezed his hand tighter.
“I sure hope so,” he replied taking that moment to stare his husband up and down.
No amount of age took away from his beauty; in fact, he only got hotter if that was possible. Shane still couldn’t believe his luck. He didn’t feel like the same could be said about himself though. He’d started to get the odd greys and was having to dye them black, not quite ready yet to accept his fate like his own father had at this age. Thirty-Nine. Over 20 years ago, he’d fallen for the man beside him, even if it took almost a decade for either man to admit it.
Soon they pulled up into a parking spot and was exiting their 7-seater SUV. Hayden had laughed in Ilya’s face when they first bought it, after all the years Ilya had made fun of the same car Hayden needed to parade around their hoard of Pike children. Later that night Ilya had grumbled in bed that they really were done having any more children. ‘Do not need to give that man anymore ammo by having same number of children too.’
Shane had just laughed and climbed on top of his man that night and ridden him until he forgot all about Hayden or any other person in their lives.
They’d opted to park a little bit away from the restaurant, giving themselves a brisk 10-minute walk. It would give them time to get Misha settled and used to being out of his car seat because he loved being in the car and got fussy when they take him out of it. They didn’t bother with a stroller or a baby carrier as they’d already checked that the restaurant would have highchairs, so they only needed to carry him a short while to and from the car.
“You want to carry him?” Shane offered as they began the walk.
“No, is okay,” Ilya replied placing his hand at the small of Shane’s back, right over where his dimples hid under his clothing. Ilya wanted to lick them tonight if he got the chance, but then again, he always did.
“You sure?”
“Yes. He is happier in your arms.”
“Ilya. You know he loves you,” Shane said with a little frown. Ilya gave him a smile in return.
“Yes. I know. But it is like, ah what is it called? When baby chick chooses favourite person when they are born?”
“Imprinting?”
“Yes! Imprinting. He loves me, but... you are his favourite person but is also more than that. When he is not with you it scares him because it is like he has lost a limb. I had same problem with the girls, could not even pee without them crying for me. Now is your turn.”
Shane gave him a small and slightly sad smile before placing a gentle kiss on their boy’s head. Misha was wide eyed and looking all around at the street and all the people and buildings and everything he could see. He was a curious little boy. As much as he resembled Ilya more, his Bambi eyes were all Shane’s.
“I don’t know how you managed alone on those days I wasn’t home…”
Ilya just shrugged. “Takes a village, yes? Well, our village was always nearby. I was not alone.”
Ilya knows Shane wanted to berate himself again for not retiring and being on the road a lot when they had the girls. It was hard, even Ilya can admit that, and it wasn’t just him being away from the girls, it was also him being away from Ilya. But Ilya also loved watching his husband on the ice, dominating as always. And Shane is home now, with his family and happily retired having left behind a legacy that would be hard for anyone else to beat, so there was no use focusing on the past and they’d already had this conversation a million times.
Soon they were at the restaurant, a large family friendly building at the end of the block. Ilya had already called ahead and made a reservation, so they were quickly guided to a table in the corner, a highchair already waiting for them. Shane placed Misha in the highchair while Ilya pulled out a little toy, from the baby bag, that Misha liked to fiddle with.
Soon the men were ordering their food, enough feed at least five people. They might not play hockey anymore, but they still had the appetite of hockey players, though Shane’s appetite in that regard did take a while into his hockey career to develop. It was no secret, Shane’s struggles with food, but things were a lot better these days. There were still bad days of course but today wasn’t one of them. It helped when they had children too. Ilya had convinced Shane that he didn’t just need energy to play hockey but to then play with their rambunctious girls when he got home too, and how sad would the girls be when they offer him their last pieces of candy only for Shane to say no.
The food arrived and then the two men had a pleasant dinner. Once their food was done, Ilya opted to order a dessert, but Shane wasn’t willing to go that far tonight. He was sure Ilya would offer him a few bites of his cheesecake anyway and that would be enough.
Misha for the most part had been well behaved throughout. He played with his little toy and sucked on his soother and didn’t make much noise aside from a few giggles when Ilya made faces at him. They’d already given him a bottle when they were at David and Yuna’s so they could wait to give him another until they got home and besides, it didn’t seem like Misha was interested in food at the moment.
Everything had been going well, right until the waitress had walked away with Ilya’s dessert order.
It started off with some more fussing, and then Misha’s big round eyes visibly welled up. Shane noticed right away and took him out of the highchair into his lap and started rocking him, tried to give him back the soother that he had spit out onto the chair table, but nothing seemed to help. Soon Misha was practically wailing, and it was drawing a few eyes which only made Shane more anxious.
“It’s his teeth again, I think,” Shane said to his husband.
“Mmm. Why don’t we head home?” Ilya suggested.
“Your dessert’s not here yet.”
“Doesn’t matter. I will survive.”
“No Ilya, have the cheesecake. He might even calm down in a few minutes.” Both men winced not really believing the statement. “Look, I’ll just take him outside. You have your dessert, you’ll scoff it down in like three seconds anyway, pay and then come find us. I think there was a little alley to the side, I’ll just go there for some privacy.”
Ilya didn’t really argue. There wasn’t a lot either men could do to help their son, and he was going to find a lot more comfort in Shane than Ilya, so he settled to have his dessert when it arrived and then find his husband and son outside. Shane was right anyway; it would take Ilya only about three seconds to finish it off and then it was just a case of paying.
Once Shane hurried outside with their wailing son, he did tuck himself a little bit into the alley he spied earlier. He rocked and swayed and did everything he could to calm Misha down, but he didn’t blame his son for being upset. Shane remembers how much his wisdom teeth hurt and he couldn’t imagine having to deal with the pain of all your teeth forcing their way out through your gums and especially at such a young age. He was grateful he didn’t have memories of that from when he was a baby himself. In all honesty, Shane was content to let Misha cry as much as he wanted just to get all that pent up frustration out. It was more so causing a nuisance to others that stressed Shane out.
“I know. I know. I know Mishka,” Shane said gently to his boy. “It’s hard isn’t it. I know it hurts. You cry all you want baby and I promise one day it will stop hurting okay. And daddy will always be here to try and make you feel better.”
Shane whipped around suddenly when he heard footsteps, hoping it would be his husband. To his dismay, it was actually two police officers.
“Everything okay here?” the taller one, a man asked.
“Uh, yes officer?” Shane replied confused.
“He doesn’t sound okay,” the shorter, woman said looking at Shane suspiciously.
Shane just looked back and forth between the officers and his son. He didn’t understand what was going on.
“He’s teething,” Shane said by way of explanation. And then they did hear another set of footsteps and this time it really was Ilya.
“What is going on here?” Ilya said rushing over with a frown on his face. He hurried to Shane, standing a little bit in front like a shield.
“You know this man?” the woman asked.
“My husband and our son, yes I know them,” Ilya said sarcastically.
“Your son?”
“Of course, our son. What is this?” Ilya asked his voice a little more raised.
“I do apologise sir,” the male officer replied. “Someone stopped us on the street a moment ago and said there was a suspicious man down here holding a crying baby. Wanted us to check it out.”
“Suspicious? He is soothing our son, what is suspicious about that?!”
Shane understood, he understood right away.
“Ilya. Let’s go,” Shane started before turning back to the officers. “Are we free to go?”
“Of course. Again, we do apologise.” Except the woman still stared like she was suspicious.
“What the fuck,” Ilya stated on their short walk back to the car. Shane just clutched Misha to him as tight as he could without hurting him. At least the weird debacle had calmed him down and he had stopped crying. “What is suspicious about holding a baby in plain sight.”
“Ilya.” Shane’s teeth were gritted and he just wanted to get home as fast as possible, collect the kids and hide away in their house where it was safe.
“I don’t understand it. What did they think you were doing exactly?!”
“Ilya! Our baby is very white, do you get that?”
“Huh?”
“He doesn’t exactly look like me, does he?”
“He has your eyes,” Ilya replied instantaneously with a frown.
“No, he doesn’t! They are big and round and blue. He is blonde and blue eyed and as white as white can be and I love him to death because he is my son regardless of what he or I look like. But to some people out there I am an Asian man with a crying white baby in his hands, and they think that’s wrong and that he can’t be mine and that if he isn’t mine then I must have I don’t know stolen him or something!”
“Shane…” Ilya said his heart breaking.
“No. No do not look at me like that,” Shane said his eyes welling up slightly. “I don’t have the energy to console youabout what people think of me. I just want to get the girls and go home.”
“Of course. We will do just that,” Ilya said trying his best to be there for his husband through something he would never be able to understand himself. Some people were just ignorant and stupid. They might not see it, but Ilya saw Shane in their son every day.
When they pulled up to the grandparents’ house, Yuna, ever perceptive as she was, noticed something was wrong with Shane immediately.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Nothing, “ Shane replied quickly before the girls came running down to greet them. Shane passed Misha to Ilya’s arms before crouching down to hug their daughters extra tight and for extra long.
“Daddyyyy,” Mila moaned. “I’m squished!”
Shane let go of them and ruffled their hair which had clearly been fully pulled out of their braids at some point.
“Daddy, we made a castle with Lego. Come see!” Alina said proudly before dragging Shane away to show him their masterpiece.
“What happened?” Yuna asked as soon as Shane and the girls were out of earshot. Ilya gave her and David both the rundown.
Yuna formed a thin line with her lips, nodded once, and went to go comfort her son while David and Ilya took a moment to sit on the sofa together.
“Are you okay?” David asked Ilya who was currently grimacing, mostly due to the small secret reason he’s content to let Shane hold Misha most of the time. Their son was currently holding onto the closest curl on Ilya’s head that he could reach, and Ilya would be lucky if he didn’t start balding already. The girls had been somewhat bad about it too around this age, but Misha’s iron-like grip was certainly worse.
Ilya just shrugged. “I am fine. It is Shane that was hurt most.”
“Yes, that’s true. But it is still hard to see someone you love be hurt or discriminated against for things they cannot control, for things that you yourself love about them. I know that feeling very well,” David said gently.
“I… I do not ever know how to comfort him about this one thing. Usually, I know what to say or do to calm him down, but I never figured this one out. Usually, he bounces back quickly too he is still very upset tonight. I think he was worried they would take Misha away from him, not that they could.”
“You know, it’s strange,” David began. “When people used to see me with Shane alone, they never questioned if he was mine even though on the surface we don’t look a whole lot alike. They always just assumed he was, or that I must be stepdad. No one ever thinks that a white man stole an Asian child.”
Ilya nodded. “I think is same with me and the girls.”
“I think right now, Shane is hurt in more ways than one, and you and I and even Yuna cannot relate to this specific scenario so it is nothing any of us could have prepared him for. You know how he is with something new.”
“He is recalibrating,” Ilya supplied. “Figuring it out on his own.”
David nodded this time. “And there is no one piece of advice or thing you can do that will help him get over it, but just be there for him so he knows he isn’t actually alone and that you love him very much.”
Ilya loved David a lot, because he was like the dad he never had.
Eventually the girls came running back but without Yuna or Shane. When Ilya asked them where they were, Alina said they went outside alone.
Ilya understood. Shane needed his mama right now.
_____
Later, when the children were all asleep, Ilya held Shane close to him in bed, stroking his face and counting each freckle.
“I love you very much Shane.”
“Ya tebya tozhe lyublyu.”
“I am sorry about tonight.”
Shane flinched slightly and tucked his head into the crook of Ilya’s neck. “I usually get over stuff like that so easily. I mean it’s not like it doesn’t bother me, but I can still move on with my day you know. I don’t know why it’s affecting me so much tonight.”
“Because it involved Misha, I think.”
Shane was silent for a moment. “He’s my son,” he said his voice cracking at the end.
“Yes. He is. Just like our daughters are mine. Does not matter who they look like.”
“Yes. They are,” Shane said pulling back to look at Ilya again. “I love our family so much. I don’t want anyone or anything to ever take any of you away from me.”
“I will not ever let that happen Shane.”
Shane nodded.
“Well… I’m thinking too much and we finally have some time alone. Help me take my mind of things?”
Ilya smirked as he slipped his hand into his husband’s pants. Maybe this was at least something Ilya could do to help, for as long as Shane continued to want him.