Chapter Text
It started at testing. Ollie knew as soon as he saw their car. The Mercedes was fast.
The last testing session had finished and when Ollie saw Kimi afterwards he ran up to him, eyes bright.
"Kimi!! That Mercedes looks amazing, you're gonna kill it this year."
"Ollie!!" He laughed. "You look so good in the HAAS, I swear you're the reason they're not last."
Ollie had blushed and brushed off the compliment, but inside he was repeating Kimi's words. 'You look so good...'
They walked towards the garages and talked until they were forced to go discuss with their own teams. Kimi walked off with a smile, and Ollie watched him until he turned into his garage. If only Ollie had known how much would change, he would've savoured the moment a little more.
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Kimi stands on top of the podium, his smile wider than Ollie had ever seen. His whole face is lit up with happiness after his first ever win.
After the celebration, Ollie manages to find him in the crowd.
"Hey, congratulations!!" He yells, and Kimi turns around. He grins as he sees Ollie and runs and hugs him.
"Thank you!!" Kimi pulls away from the hug smiling.
"Wanna meet me after debrief?" Ollie asks, the words coming off his tongue before he even has to think.
"Ugh I can't, sorry," Kimi says apologetically. "The team planned a celebration and I have to be there." His voice is regretful, but he looks distracted already.
Ollie's heart sinks but he forces a smile. "All good!! Great job out there today."
Kimi disappears for debrief before they have time to talk any longer.
All through the long afternoon of press conferences and team discussions Ollie acts like he's in the moment, but his mind keeps wandering to Kimi.
Especially when every reporter mentions him. He's the winner, of course they bring him up. And he deserves it, of course. But Ollie's already seen how swept up Kimi gets in it. How he already doesn't have time for him.
I don't like a gold rush, gold rush.
After interviews he checks his phone, but Kimi hasn't texted. What was he expecting?
Gabi corners him in the hallway. "Hey Ollie, great job on P5, amazing drive! Wanna come out with us all?" He shoves his shoulder playfully.
Ollie smiles with the familiar comfort of their friendship, but opens his mouth to reject the invite. Wait, is Kimi gonna be there? His face suddenly grows warm as he hesistates.
I don't like anticipating my face in a red flush.
But no, of course not. The team planned his celebration. It'll be all for media, and Kimi will be busy anyways. He's always gonna be busy now. He feels a twinge of sadness but pushes it back deep down.
"Ollie?" Gabi tilts his head.
His attention snaps back to Gabi. "Sorry, I'm so tired, my mind is wandering," He forces a smile. "I think I need to rest, wish I could come."
Gabi laughs. "No worries, you seem like you need it. I'll see you later, yeah?"
"Yeah."
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When he finally gets back to the hotel he collapses on his bed and throws his phone across the room. Kimi's probably still with everyone, he probably didn't even notice Ollie isn't there.
I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch.
He can't remember the last race they missed their tradition. Once the busy afternoon is over and everyone else has either gone to rest or to party, they always end up at each other's hotels or in an empty room at the track or a small bar in the town over, talking late into the night.
I don't like a gold rush.
Kimi's perfect like that, he's the sort of person who will overanalyse little details with you and discuss something you already discussed three times when swear you have a new perspective on it. And Ollie listens too, to all the news about the races and his life and the little details that no one else wants to hear, but they always tell each other. Ollie misses it more than he feels like he should.
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On the way back home, Ollie was hoping that their flights would line up so he would see Kimi, but they didn't. He was hoping he would run into him at the airport anyway, but he didn't.
He absentmindedly taps through Instagram stories as he sits on the plane with his headphones in. Kimi's face appears in half of them, pictures of him celebrating his pole and his win. Everyone's posting him, with their congratulations and support.
I don't like a gold rush, gold rush.
He swipes through to Kimi's private account, where he had posted videos of partying, glowing with happiness in each. Ollie almost wishes he was there to see him. But then again, Kimi would've been swept up, everyone loves him. This happens every time someone gets their first win. Suddenly, everyone wants to take a picture with them and talk to them. It shouldn't matter. But to Ollie it does.
Everybody wants you.
Ollie drafts a congratulations text to Kimi. It's normal, they text all the time. So why is he changing the number of exclamation marks back and forth from one to two? Ugh, this shouldn't matter. Ollie thinks, but contemplates not even sending the text.
No, this is Kimi. Kimi who he's known forever, Kimi who always listens, Kimi who knows all his secrets, Kimi who's always there for him. And it's a text.
He sends it as it is and swipes out of the app straight away.
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Kimi lays in bed, the last day before he's back with the team and race weekend begins again. The rest of the week before had been a daze of happiness, bright lights, and alcohol. A driver's first win can only happen once, right?
Of course, he also made sure to run over all his mistakes in the simulator, and spent hours looking over the replays. Everyone has expectations for him now, it's all going to be different.
He's scrolling through his phone, tired, when he suddenly remembers he still hasn't replied to Ollie's text. They've been talking on and off over the week but less than usual. Kimi's memory is terrible, and the hangovers aren't helping.
Kimi feels guilty he left it so long, but it only gets worse from here, so he opens the text to reply. Except as he starts typing a response, a message appears from George asking him if he wants to meet early tomorrow to go over strategy, and Ollie slips his mind once again.
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The next weekend approaches quickly and Ollie can't get Kimi out of his mind. Media day and practices fly by with something to do in every spare second. He doesn't get a chance to track down Kimi in between the chaos.
Finally it's Saturday, and buildings pass by as Ollie is driven towards the paddock entrance.
Despite trying his best to avoid it, Ollie stares at the read text on his phone, again. It's been three days. Kimi's usually a slow replier, but never this slow. Ollie turns his phone off and stares out the window, forcing himself to think about the weekend ahead.
In the paddock it's busy, as Saturday always is. Ollie's heart speeds up whenever he catches a glimpse of curly hair in the Mercedes colours, but he always walks the other way.
Finally, Ollie runs into Kimi as he enters the pit lane while Ollie's leaving. Ollie tries to stay calm, but can't hold back his grin.
"Ollie? Hi!!" Kimi turns and smiles. His big smile, the smile that Ollie wishes he could always be the reason for. "I haven't seen you this whole weekend, how are you feeling?? P5 last weekend, surely you do it again-"
Ollie laughs and shoulders him. "We'll see!! Are you prepared for another win?"
"Too early to hope for that, gotta get through qualifying first!" Kimi says, but his eyes are sparkling at the possibility. "Hey, I would love to stay longer but I have to get back to the team, talk later?" he apologises.
"Oh, no worries!" Ollie says, even though it's the first time they've had a conversation all week. "It'd be easier if you replied to my texts," He jokes.
Kimi shrugs and lightheartedly huffs, "I'm way too busy for that now!"
He means it as a joke, but to Ollie that stings. Kimi, oblivious, waves goodbye and hurries back down the pit lane. Why does it always end like that lately? Ollie wonders. It's always Kimi who has to disappear to some new media duty or extra preparation for the next race.
As he watches Kimi disappear around the corner, Ollie feels his vision blur. He blinks quickly and turns away, pushing down the hard truth that fills his mind lately.
I'm not his priority anymore.
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