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It was nights like this that made Steve appreciate the upside down for once instead of cursing its existence.
Sitting on the couch, just a little bit high, laughing his ass off and shooting the shit with his friends.
He can’t even remember what was so funny but he hasn’t wiped the stupid dopey smile off his face since they arrived.
Nancy only just left having to spend the night with her family but Eddie and Robin were still here and staying the night. The thought of which made him feel warm inside.
Robin is still comfortably on the floor from where she and Nancy were lounging and facing the boys.
Eddie and Robin are play arguing about something stupid, like the ending of a movie he's never seen and it looks like neither of them are going to give in anytime soon.
He speaks up to changes the topic.
“So, are we going to talk about it?” He asks with a sly smirk on his face, he knows he’s being smug.
The question at least gets both of them to look at him, easily giving up their fight that wasn’t a fight in the first place.
“Talk about what?” Robin says exasperated from what could be so important for this interruption.
“About how you and Nancy are totally going to be boning by the end of the week?”
Eddie laughs while Robin chokes on her own spit a little.
“Ew, did you have to phrase it that way?”
Steve raises his eyebrows, “am I wrong?”
“Yes, you probably are” she bristles.
“I don't know little bird”, Eddie interjects, Robin looks at him with betrayal. “Wheeler totally digs you”
“As if” she deflects but her cheeks are red and she's looking at the floor picking at the carpet.
Steve kicks her hand lightly to get her to stop and look at him.
“I know you want to rant about how nice she looked tonight and how she was making physical contact for almost 100% of the night".
Her eyes light up at his observation and she caves.
“Ugh, she totally was right? Like I’m not crazy?”
“No and did I see in my corner that she tucked your hair behind your ear? Like hello, what a move”.
Robin grins up at him “Yes! She did”.
“So make a pass!” Steve sits forward.
“How do I even do that with a potentially straight woman?”
She looks at Steve who in all honesty has advice, but he knows it's not the right advice for seducing in this situation so he shakes his head and looks at Eddie who's smiling and has his hands up.
“I don’t know, don’t look at me, I have no experience in this field”.
“No experience my ass!” Robin automatically scoffs and makes an exaggerated look at Steve before going back to Eddie. Steve doesn't know what that means but when he looks at Eddie to find out, the man's eyes are intense and stern at Robin clearly telling her off in silent communication.
He feels his cheeks get hot and he doesn’t get why or what’s going on but he is somehow involved.
“What?” He says confused and they both look at him, Robin like a deer in headlights.
Eddie just goes back to addressing Robin, not letting the situation derail in whatever direction that was heading.
“Look I don’t know, at gay bars it's a fairly straightforward process" Robin scoffs at straightforward to which Eddie rolls his eyes with a laugh. "Just like, pretend pass out until she performs mouth to mouth, or ask her to practice kissing or some shit” Eddie jokes and this makes Robin giggle.
Steve laughs too but feels on the outside of the joke so he stops.
“Well that’s not really a helpful move though” Steve smiles, going back to serious methods they can suggest to help.
Robin and Eddie pause laughing and turn to him with confused smiles on their faces.
“What?” Eddie asks with a little intrigue.
“Everyone practices kissing with their friends. That's not gay, it's just something people do”. He says it like it's the most normal thing.
The stares he’s receiving back makes him feel like he has misstepped somewhere though. Robin's mouth is open but nothing is coming out. Eddie has a blank face and Eddie always answers him, never makes him feel dumb.
“I mean it’s a little weird since you’re not kids and have experience but like that’s a regular thing to do, everyone does that. Robin needs a move that is more obviously her hitting on Nancy”.
Steve says it like he’s so sure but his confidence in this sentiment is going down more and more.
“Um?” Robin says and Steve laughs a bit, turning to Eddie for some support.
When he looks at Eddie though he has this unreadable look on his face. When he speaks it's like he’s treading carefully.
“I don’t think that’s an everyone experience, Stevie”.
Steve scoffs at him, a little confused.
“Okay maybe not for you guys, but for more popular people, it's definitely normal to practice”.
He’s feeling defensive all of a sudden, like prey backed into a corner and his hackles are going up.
Eddie has his eyebrows raised at him, they’re letting him squirm in the silence.
“What?” He looks between Eddie and Robin. ”You guys are weird ones in this, it’s a universal thing I’m telling you.” he falls back onto the couch and crosses his arms.
The it’s not gay part goes unsaid.
The two most talkative people he knows are silent.
Eddie takes mercy on him, going to say something.
Steve knows it would be soothing, not making fun. Eddie always knows what to say in these situations but Steve regrets opening his mouth at all at this point so he cuts whatever is on the tip of Eddie’s tongue off.
“Talk about something else”.
He knows he’s wearing a frown that might be too revealing.
But they move on.
Hesitantly.
The tension soon fades and Steve decides maybe he’s said enough for the night and turns in not long after.
They don’t really talk about the incident again.
Steve still doesn’t understand why they got so weird, he’s sure everyone at a certain age did the same.
He pointedly doesn’t ask anyone else in fear that perhaps they’ll look at him strangely as well.
He doesn’t evaluate why.
-----
Months later, Robin and Steve go shopping at the mall the town over.
Autumn is arriving and after sifting through his closet with the beginnings of cold nipping at him, Steve has discovered he truly needs a new sweater or two.
Robin goes with him gladly because she may be partly the reason he is lacking some, them somehow having made their way to her wardrobe instead and she owes him just a little for that.
It's how they end up in the sweater section of some ordinary store Steve always shops at, where Steve has been spending all his time on one side of the folded clothes, not finding anything he likes.
“What about all these? You haven’t even looked over here yet” Steve looks over and gets a crease between his brows.
Robin pulls out a nice colour, it’s the same colour as the shirt Steve always wears to bed that used to be Robins.
Let the record show it’s not bright pink or anything, it's a deep blue that may have some purple undertones.
“No to that one” and he looks the other direction without even considering it. Going back to ‘his’ side of the aisle.
“What why?”
“I don’t buy that shape and I stick with more normal colours” he replies not even turning his head.
Which is fair, you can like what you like on yourself but Robin has it on good authority Steve loves colour. Pastels even. She thinks this shape would look great on him.
“What’s wrong with the shape?” it’s a regularly shaped sweater, only small differences to the ones he’s looking at, mainly the neck.
“It makes me look gay” he replies immediately, thoughtlessly. It takes a millisecond to register what he said, and when he does he whips his head back towards her with an apologetic look. Like he didn’t realize what he said until he said it.
“I didn't mean that-” he goes to apologize, guilt already eating him alive but Robin is not so easily offended.
“No it’s fine, I just don’t get how a sweater makes you look gay. Straight guys wear this cut all the time” she's not hurt just majorly confused.
“Like here, let me try it on, I’ll show you what I mean. That colour and cut will definitely make me look… well.” he grabs it from her and starts pulling it over his head.
With his head through the hole he lowers his voice a little, “and there's absolutely nothing wrong with being gay to be clear, you know I-.” He’s pulling down the sleeves so they sit perfectly on his arms, “It’s just I’m not gay, so no point in people getting the wrong idea. You know?”
And he steps back to show her and well…
“It looks like any other crewneck you’ve worn today”.
Steve rolls his eyes at her as if she isn’t getting it. He moves over to a mirror nearby and shakes his head with wide eyes, baffled at his refection.
“No, it doesn’t look right, I look gay” with quiet emphasis, as if he’s shocked she’s not seeing it.
Now Robin is aware she is a raging lesbian. You could argue with her being homosexual there might be a slight sway in her vote that dressing gay looks better, but Steve looks like Steve on any other day. Nothing remarkable is different, or gay.
“Steve you’re the straightest looking man I know, I do not understand this”.
He is fighting to get the sweater off as if nobody else should walk by to see him in it. A sigh of relief leaving him when he finally does.
“Let’s just- get what I came for and then we can grab smoothies” and she looks at him, really looks at him.
She can tell he feels bad but also panicked about a sweater of all things. So she nods slowly and chooses to let it go.
It’s only later in the food court Steve whispers to her seriously “I hope you know I’m not like, homophobic” and she laughs a little.
“I know Steve” and he nods at the reassurance.
“I like gay people, there’s nothing wrong with it. I love you, and Eddie too”
He doesn’t bring up the sweater or the interaction specifically but Robin knows what it’s about. She doesn’t bring up specifics either or a reminder that it would be okay for him too, she lets it go.
He clearly feels bad enough.
Robin knows Steve inside out, she knows he didn’t mean it in that way, but why the hell did he care so much about looking gay if he is straight?
-----
The next panic comes on a random Saturday evening.
Robin is calmly lying in bed after dinner with freshly painted toenails, flipping through a magazine, waiting for them to dry.
There's a sudden a knock at her window and she practically jumps out of her skin.
“Jesus, fuck”.
She makes herself get up and walk over to the window to let, who she assumes is Steve, in.
She's only a little annoyed that her nail polish is likely scuffed from walking five feet, because it's inevitable, but she's secretly glad he's here so now she can force him to do it as payment for the inconvenience.
Steve is weirdly neat at doing nails, he somehow manages to never gets it on the surrounding skin. Robin can never make her hands still enough to do the same so she uses him to her advantage for crisp nails and to avoid the mess.
She is about to say all this as she pulls back her curtains but a red eyed Steve Harrington is looking back at her and her worries about nail polish are suddenly so far away.
She hurries to open the window and practically drags him in.
“What happened? What's going on?”
He has a shaky exhale. He’s not crying anymore, he seems to have calmed his emotions.
“One of the kids-” he starts and then shakes his head like he's in pain trying to make sense of something.
“What, are they okay?” He nods and she breathes a sigh of relief only for him to then shake his head, before considering, and nodding again. “Steve, what-”
“I know you’re a safe person” he starts like he is thinking something through.
He’s pacing the floor while she sits on her bed.
She nods slowly, lets him work out what he needs.
“You’re safe. I know that but-”
Surely this isn’t what she thinks it is.
“Are you-” as she starts he speaks at the same time.
“It's one of the kids”.
They look at each other for a moment.
“No sorry go on, what happened to the kids?”
He takes a deep breath.
“Its- I just- okay”.
She would really like him to just spit it out.
“Babe I know we joke about sharing a brain but I have no context for this one”.
“Right” and then as if a lightbulb has gone off, he grabs her hands, “right! We share a brain cause we are the same person”,
She just nods slowly. Half true.
It seems to ease his mind or lower his hesitations.
“I wouldn’t tell anyone else. I am only talking to you cause we are the same person” he raises his eyebrows, looking at her intently.
“I have no idea where this is going”.
She kind of wants to check his head, make sure he hasn’t succumb to his head injuries and finally lost the fucking plot.
“Sorry- I just- sorry.” He exhales. “One of the kids came to me and shared a secret”.
He's looking at her with pleading eyes like he's begging her to understand.
And Oh.
“Oh”.
He lets out a sigh now that she's following.
“The kid came and told me this secret, me of all people and I don’t understand why” his voice cracks a little.
And now this makes a lot of sense.
“I think I did okay, you know I said nothing is wrong with it, that it’s hard but there is a whole world out there, you know, that he’s not alone and all that”.
She ignores that gendered slip of the tongue because anyone could guess he is talking about Will Byers.
“I spent like an hour reassuring him and making him feel loved. I was so honoured and happy he could trust me but I also felt awful because in the back of my mind all I could think of is why is he telling me.”
“The kids love you Steve. You’re their momma” she rubs his back. Tries to make it less of a deal in his mind.
He shakes his head and there's a tear rolling down his face.
“I don’t think that’s why Robs”.
She pulls him into her chest for a hug and he goes easily. He seems so small in her lap, holding back the rest of his tears because he refuses to cry, but his breathing is so shaky she wonders if he’s having a panic attack.
She doesn’t know what to say. I mean hell she and Eddie have had their speculations about Steve.
Baby Byers coming out to their token ‘straight’ could have implications. Especially when Eddie or she were right there and she has to admit she is a little offended he didn’t come to her. To Steve, whether the implications were meant or not doesn’t matter. It feels like the end of the world.
Like he’s been caught.
“You’re their momma and they love you okay? You’re a safe place. That’s all it has to mean”.
He nods into her and they stay like that.
Robin is sure Will didn’t mean this in the way Steve's taking it. But he’s taking it hard.
They don’t talk about it. Why it's so upsetting to wear the wrong sweater, be the person kids come out to. They don’t talk about it until he is ready to.
-----
A few weeks go by and Steve mentions nothing.
Like absolutely nothing.
It's one of those things they don’t acknowledge. Robin gets that. It has just made her look out for him a little more. Avoid things that might be sensitive to him or set him off. Even if they are mundane, like why he’s so good at nail polish.
She doesn’t want to be selfish or anything, but her hands and feet were suffering in aesthetics as a result of his mild crisis.
More weeks pass and it doesn’t come up until Steve mentions it, which he happens to do whilst incredibly high.
High Steve is known for having loose lips. She and Eddie love it, it’s funny, it’s personal, it’s safe with them.
Usually it’s stupid stuff, so she’s not sure what triggers him re-mentioning one of the things he wanted to put to rest.
Maybe because it’s the same place and positions they were in when they brought it up for the first time but he speaks his mind anyways.
“So it’s really not normal to practice kissing with your friends?”
It doesn’t fit in with their conversation, not really, but the change is welcomed with a little giggle.
“Afraid not Stevie, I don’t think that’s something normal pals do” Eddie’s voice feels lower when he’s high. Steve can feel it vibrate through him. Loves it.
“Are you sure?” he asks.
“Pretty sure” Robin speaks up.
Steve sighs exacerbated.
“So what, I assume practicing other things is not considered normal either?”
Robin feels her eyebrows shoot into her hair at this. Bracing for the answer she asks, "practicing what?”
Steve rolls his head around on the back of the sofa, looking at the ceiling, considering, before lifting his head and looking at them.
“You can’t laugh at me,” he warns.
Eddie hums interested but calming "would never, Stevie”.
Steve turns to Robin, the real culprit.
“I won’t”.
He doesn’t really believe her but he continues anyway.
“You’re saying friends don’t practice kissing so now you’re going to tell me that practicing, like, tolerance for head isn’t a thing either?”
“Practice what!” Robin exclaims and Steve rolls his eyes a little.
“Like so you didn’t disappoint girls? Like practicing not cumming the first 3 seconds of getting head”. The explanation rolls off his tongue as if it is not the most insane thing.
He looks at Eddie as if he might assure Steve that this is a totally normal thing guy friends do.
Eddie cannot be of help, is this what the fucking jocks were doing?
He knows his eyes are a little wide. Trying not to smile but is so confused.
“Sorry what does that even entail-? Like you were on your knees?”
Steve's jaw drops and goes bright red. “Don’t-” he sputters while they both are actively, albeit quietly, losing their minds. “Don’t make it like that. That's not-”
“Oh sweet Stevie” Eddie bites his lips to hide a smile that is so evident. Robin looks awed about this revelation.
He’s annoyed.
“Look, Tommy and Billy were in on this shit too so I don’t really think I'm the weird one here. They’re straight too okay?”
Robin, bless her heart, has tried her best.
She has been holding in every remark possible but at that she barks a surprised laugh at him dragging the other boys into it and then has to cover her mouth and turn away when Eddie gives her a look.
He isn’t much better though cause he’s not laughing at Steve but he certainly has an amused smile.
Steve fake pouts a little, it’s enough for Eddie to have a little sympathy for the poor guy.
“Aw babe we aren’t making fun, I’m sorry”.
He’s still grinning when he says it though.
“Fuck you guys” Steve sighs but there's no real heat behind it. Them smiling is making him swallow one of his own. “They were straight too”.
He holds his defence even though it's weak.
Eddie pointedly does not mention the time he and Billy fucked in a very gay homosexual way.
Robin calms herself and reaches out to rub Steve’s leg.
“No, no, Stevie. I just need you to know that everything is okay, it's fine that happened. But there is a massive chance you have just managed to find and attract every queer in Hawkins".
He cracks a smile at that because honestly, yeah.
They let him sit in it for a second.
He breaks the silence.
“So what, I've just done gay shit my whole life?”
“Well-” Robin doesn’t know how to answer but then Steve is laughing.
Because yeah it’s a little fucking funny.
Maybe he’s just high.
He laughs so hard and somehow they end up in a dogpile of cuddles upstairs in his bed.
His brain is switched off now, he just focuses on going to sleep.
The morning after is hard.
A little literally.
He wakes up to Eddie’s morning wood pressed against his ass.
With all his revelations last night he really tries to ignore just how much he enjoys that.
He struggles away and goes downstairs to find Robin making coffee already.
He sits down at the counter and puts his head in his hands. She comes over and puts a mug in front of him.
“So-” he starts.
“So-” she replies.
They look at each other and it feels so warm.
He laughs a little and can feel tears forming even though he’s not upset.
“I don’t know why I'm watering, I’m not sad”.
She pulls his head towards her and kisses his hair.
“It’s okay if you are,” she reassures.
“But I’m not, like I’m really not” he sighs “it’s just a lot”.
“I know” Robin nods comfortingly, “we can pretend if you want?”
He looks up at her.
His beautiful best friend and soulmate who he would do anything for.
She's looking at him with wonder and compassion and his heart is fucking glowing. She’s here looking at him like he’s something beautiful, offering to put one of the biggest pills to swallow in her back pocket for him. To keep it until he’s ready.
He is though.
“I think we already knew to be honest” he heaves a wet laugh.
She smiles but doesn't say anything about knowing or not.
“Well now we know that even in the gay world you're more experienced than me” she playfully rolls her eyes.
He cackles a little, hums and sips his coffee.
“So you’re like Bowie?” she asks, prompting. Making everything positive when in any other scenario the world would be ending, it’s not though.
“I guess so” he smiles, “I’m pretty fucking cool then hey?”
“We already knew that babe”.
They hold hands and sip in silence.
Robin breaks it.
“So Eddie?”
Steve chokes a little, going red.
She softly laughs at him.
“Yeah, Eddie” he wants to ask how she knew, but she’s his cosmic soul tie, of course she knows, she can read him like a book.
“He’s gone on you, you know?”
Steve shakes his head a little.
“No, he is, you’re like his ultimate fantasy. He’s fully in love, I’m surprised he didn’t pass out last night”.
Steve laughs.
They startle at a noise from the stairs and look over.
“What are we laughing about?” Eddie asks, all groggy and warm.
Steve can’t help but look him up and down. Drink in how good he looks even in the mornings.
“You” Robin says with her eyebrows raised before taking a cheeky sip.
Steve slaps her arm softly.
Eddie just laughs, doesn't ask and pours himself a coffee from the pot.
Steve watches on with hearts for eyes.
It’s so domestic.
When he looks back at Robin she’s already looking at him and her smile is knowing. He rolls his eyes at her pointedly.
“So what’s the news this morning?” Eddie asks, looking between them.
He doesn’t even mention last night, like he too would have just brushed by it.
“That Steve’s like Bowie” Robin says with a fond smile and her arm around him.
He loves her so much. Knows exactly what he needs, let's her be brave for him.
Eddie's eyebrows rise, swallowing the sip he just took.
“Right on!” The smile Steve gets is a hundred watts. Accordingly, it lights his insides up.
They spend a minute just looking at each other, like their eyes could communicate everything they want to say.
Robin yawns, interrupting the moment, pretending to not feel the tension.
“I need a shower” she says unbothered and kisses Steve's head on her way by.
Ever subtle.
When it’s just them, Eddie joins Steve on the other side of the counter, taking Robin's spot.
“Like Bowie huh?” Eddie asks and it's a small private smile. Steve feels himself lean closer as they look at each other.
Steve nods, shy all of a sudden.
Steve doesn’t get shy.
They’re so close.
Eddie tucks a strand of Steve’s hair behind his ear.
A fucking move.
Steve feels compelled to do something insane.
But Eddie leaves his space and starts a new conversation.
Steve feels disappointed in a way but also relieved.
Eddie wants this. Steve wants this.
But they both know Steve needs a little time.
-----
It’s been 4 weeks and Eddie has not made a move since that morning. Like he’s being chivalrous or something.
Steve is losing his mind.
Maybe getting together the day after he comes out by mistake isn’t a good idea. When time sounded good he didn’t mean this much fucking time.
It's like now the cat is out of the bag and it won't go back in.
It’s gotten to the point Robin says that he drools anytime the other man walks by, and he is!
He’s over the whole space and time thing.
Self acceptance? Sure, check.
He wants Eddie something carnally.
He has done so well and pushed it down, letting it simmer, until one night.
It’s just them, hanging out at Eddie's place.
Steve is on the ground, and Eddie gets up off the couch to go and grab more beers as the credits continue to roll on the screen from the movie they just finished.
When he gets up his shirt lifts.
It's so simple.
It shows the smallest bit of midriff.
Midriff.
Steve loses all willpower he once possessed.
“Hey Eds?”
The man looks back down at him and then plops back on the sofa to hear him out.
“I need some advice”.
Eddie tilts his head, a little confused.
“Yeah what's up?”
Ugh.
Kindness. It’s like he’s trying to seduce Steve.
“I just, I’m wondering if you could help me? With something? I’m just not very good yet.”
Eddie still hasn’t caught on but is a little suspicious at the fucking voice Steve is putting on.
Steve holds up his arm and Eddie helps pull him up and onto the couch right next to him.
Thighs pressed together, Steve faces Eddie, tilts his head, nosing forward.
“I just need some help” he moves closer.
They’re breathing the same air now.
Eddie looks down at his lips.
”Could you help me practise kissing? I've never done it before and-”
He can see the moment his words register because Eddie immediately scoffs into a smile and then pulls Steve into a deep and dirty kiss.
Steve makes a small surprised noise, not expecting the results to be quite so immediate.
It’s wet and fucking messy and Steve loves it, purposefully makes a small moan when they pull apart after a short time.
Eddie looks at Steve catching his breath who is wearing the biggest smile on his face having gotten exactly what he wanted.
Eddie rolls his eyes, “you’re such a dick” and then pulls him back in.
Steve feels alive.
It’s intense and honestly, it might be considered more making out more than a kiss as Steve ends up half on top of Eddie.
They are both a little breathless when they part.
“Holy fuck that was better than I imagined” Steve wipes his mouth breathing heavy, massive grin.
“Think about me often, big boy?” He’s so smug, Steve hates it, he loves it.
“All the fucking time”.