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“Where is Merlin, Gaius? He was meant to muck out the stables this morning,” said Arthur as he sat down across from the court physician. He plucked a grape from the plate of food before him as he awaited the other’s reply, which, really, he wasn’t looking forward to. There was no telling what his excuse for Merlin would be this day. Arthur sighed. Not even a week on the job and the boy was proving to be his bane.
How was it that he had managed to get the laziest servant ever? Yes, Merlin had saved his life, and the boy was easy on the eyes, but, really, he was an awful man-servant and Arthur wasn’t sure how much longer he would be able to keep him. His father had given Merlin to him as a reward for the boy saving his son’s life (which didn’t make any sense whatsoever to Arthur), but if the King found out how useless the boy was, he would certainly get rid of him, which would probably mean sending him away from Camelot. Arthur didn’t want that, but he saw no way to avoid such from happening.
“Sire? Did Ian not tell you?” replied Gaius after he swallowed whatever it was he had been eating, and Arthur noticed how pale he looked. Was he ill? Is that why Merlin hadn’t come to his chambers this morning? Was he caring for Gaius?
“Tell me what?” Arthur asked, his voice terse.
“Last evening, when Merlin left the armory, one of your dogs attacked him.”
“They what?” Arthur asked, unwilling to believe that his dogs would do such a thing. He had the best trained dogs money could buy, and they knew not to attack Merlin; the boy fed and walked and cared for them daily. How could it be that they would attack him? Merlin must have done something to provoke whatever happened.
“He was bitten only once, Sire, so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been, but …” and Gaius merely looked at Arthur, worry clearly etched in every line of his face.
“But what, Gaius,” said Arthur, a bit of worry finding its way into his voice. Gaius wasn’t one to be overly dramatic, but now he looked as worried as Arthur had ever seen him and there had to be a reason for that.
“The dog bit him on his face. The affected area shows signs of infection setting in and Merlin is having a difficult time opening his left eye this morning. I sent Ian, the stable boy to tell you what happened as soon as I tended to Merlin last night. I guess he did not do so.”
“No, he most certainly did not. Where is Merlin now?” Arthur asked, looking toward Merlin’s chambers, suddenly not caring that Merlin was a worthless servant.
“He is in his chambers, Sire. He may be asleep, but you can go in and see him if you wish.”
Arthur nodded and began walking toward the steps that would lead to Merlin’s chambers. Of course he could go see Merlin if he wished. He could do anything he wanted to do. “Is he going to be okay, Gaius?”
“I believe so, Sire. As long as the infection is not too advanced. I have given him a tincture that should help, and I will apply a poultice later today. It could be a day or two before he is up and about, but I do think he will recover with little scarring.”
Arthur nodded and walked up the steps and opened the door to see Merlin sleeping, just as Gaius had said he probably would be. Not wanting to wake him, Arthur thought about leaving and returning later, but when he turned to leave, he couldn’t.
He didn’t want to admit to it, but he was more than a little worried. He turned back around and watched Merlin sleeping, and cringed in sympathy when he noticed the large bite mark and realised how swollen Merlin’s face was. Arthur walked forward and stood by the bed and it took all his restraint to not touch Merlin’s face, which looked much too pale. A sheen of perspiration covered his forehead, which Arthur knew meant he had a fever.
Seeing a stool on the other side of the room, Arthur went to get it, set it by the bed and sat on it, but immediately stood when it was too low for him to see Merlin properly. He searched the room for something else to sit on, but there was nothing, so Arthur stood by the bed and watched Merlin for several minutes before deciding that Merlin wouldn’t mind if he sat on the bed. At first, he sat on the edge, but then he moved closer to Merlin and remained there for at least an hour, watching the other sleep before the rise and fall of Merlin’s chest lulled a sleepy Arthur into a near sleep himself. He had to shake his head and open his eyes wide to keep himself awake.
Then Merlin turned in his sleep and faced Arthur. His face was even more swollen than it had been earlier, and his left eye was barely visible. Again, Arthur wanted so very much to reach out and touch Merlin’s face, but he dared not, for it would surely wake him, and he needed his sleep so he could begin to heal. Hadn’t Gaius said Merlin had an infection? That wasn’t at all good.
People died from dog bites. Arthur should know as he had lost a dear friend when he was a child to a dog bite. If Gaius didn’t treat Merlin’s infection in a timely manner, he could die. The thought frightened Arthur. As useless a servant as the boy was, he didn’t deserve to die. He deserved to grow up and marry and have little servant-children.
“Sire?” called out a weak Merlin, one eye swollen shut, the other barely open.
“Merlin?” asked Arthur, softly so as not to startle the other.
“Your dog bit me,” Merlin said, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Yes, Gaius told me. What did you do to him?” Arthur asked as he reached down and moved some of the fringe from Merlin’s eyes. He withdrew his hand and very nearly said something about Merlin’s forehead burning up, but wisely decided against doing so. He would mention it to Gaius, however.
“Looked at him?” Merlin said, somewhat louder, and he tried to let out a laugh, but it must have hurt him to do so and he made a noise that made it obvious he was in pain. He closed his other eye and grimaced. “Owww.”
“Sh,” Arthur said and he scooted even closer to Merlin. He reached out his hand and lowered it so he was touching Merlin’s face. He let it rest near the boy’s injured eye for a few seconds, then ran his finger down to Merlin’s chin and let it rest there. “Gaius said you need to sleep.”
“Yeah, which would be easier if I weren’t in pain. You try sleeping with a dog bite on your face and see how easy that is, Sire.” But soon after he said these words, Merlin fell into a restless sleep.
Arthur retraced Merlin’s face then gently traced the injured area beneath his eye. Such a beautiful face, Arthur thought. “Sleep, Merlin,” he whispered. He thought about leaving, but again, he couldn’t seem to pull himself away, and as his father thought he was out on a mission to gather information, he would not be missed for several hours.
Merlin turned over and made a terrible sound when the part of his face that had been bitten touched the pillow. He immediately turned onto his back and his breathing became more laboured.
Arthur watched as tears began to run down Merlin’s face, and it did something to him that he hadn't expected. It made him want to protect Merlin. Arthur stretched out so he was parallel to Merlin, leant over his sleeping servant and ran his hands through the fringe on Merlin’s forehead. “Sh. Go to sleep.”
~*~
“Arthur?” someone said as they shook him.
“What?” Arthur said groggily as he opened his eyes and looked into Gaius’s eyes. He let out a gasp. “Did I fall asleep?” He looked horrified, but he wasn’t.
“Yes, it would seem so, Sire. I need to give Merlin his potion and put another poultice on his bite. I am going to need you to assist me; it is going to hurt and I don’t want Merlin to fight this.”
Arthur nodded as he sat up, and he watched as Gaius woke Merlin, who looked worse than he had before Arthur had fallen asleep.
“It is time for your next dose of this tincture and I need to reapply a fresh poultice to your face, Merlin,” Gaius said softly.
Arthur watched as Merlin pushed himself up so he was sitting, and noticed he looked flushed. Arthur looked to Gaius for guidance.
“Merlin, this is going to hurt far worse than last time. I have asked Arthur to help me, because it is imperative you stay still whilst I apply this poultice.”
Merlin nodded as he looked at Arthur, who motioned for him to scoot up. Once he did so, Arthur positioned himself behind Merlin and settled Merlin so his back was flush against his chest.
“Arthur, please hold his arms against his chest and hold him still,” Gaius said, his voice firm, but his face looking strained as he took the poultice from the table beside Merlin’s bed. “Merlin, please don’t fight this. It is not going to be pleasant, but it is what must be done.”
Merlin again nodded, and then swallowed. “Yeah, okay,” and he took a deep breath.
“Arthur?” Gaius asked, nearing Merlin with the poultice.
“I’ve got him,” and Arthur did. “I’ve got you,” he whispered into Merlin’s ear, and he wondered what was going through Merlin’s mind. It was odd seeing him in such pain. He was what Arthur thought of as a gentle soul; he didn’t seem particularly strong and he seemed to care far too much, but he was first and foremost a male, and Arthur knew how much he hated to show that he was in pain. It had to be the same for Merlin.
At the first touch of the poultice to his face, Merlin squeezed his eyes shut and let out a strangled cry.
Arthur tightened his hold on Merlin. “It’ll be over soon, Merlin. Shh.”
“You try to sit here and let Gaius put a poultice on your dog-bitten face and see if you can sit here quietly and sh,” Merlin managed to get out.
Arthur looked at Gaius, who was grinning. “Sorry. I am only trying to help,” said Arthur, thinking he should probably keep his mouth closed.
“As you should be. It’s your fault,” added Merlin, his voice weak, more perspiration dotting his forehead.
Arthur took the cloth Gaius handed him and began mopping Merlin’s forehead. “What do you think we should do with the dog, Merlin? Should he be hanged or should I chop off his head?” Arthur asked.
“A day in the stocks should do,” replied Merlin, allowing the smallest of smiles right before he let out another strangled cry and tensed his arms.
“All finished with the poultice, Merlin. Now you just need to take this potion and you will be done,” said Gaius as he took the poultice away and handed Merlin a phial to drink from.
Merlin downed it and made a face. “That is horrid, Gaius!”
Gaius grinned. “But it will help and that is what matters.”
Merlin looked over his shoulder to Arthur, who was still seated behind him. “Thank you. That was really painful and had you not been here to hold me back I would've never allowed Gaius to keep that thing on my face.”
“Anything for my worthless servant,” Arthur replied cheekily, and a smile made its way to his face. “I should go. My father will wonder where I have gone off to,“ Arthur said as he extricated himself from behind Merlin and stood from the bed. “If you need anything at all, send Gaius for me.”
Merlin nodded. “I will,” he said as he lay back down on his pillow and closed his eyes.
“And Merlin?” Arthur said.
“Yes,” Merlin asked, but he hadn’t enough strength to open his eyes.
“I really am sorry about this.”
“Thanks,” was Merlin’s reply.
~*~
“Is he any better?” Arthur asked Gaius the following afternoon after he'd got back from the patrol he and the knights had been on. Merlin was nowhere to be seen.
“He is quite sore today. He can’t talk. I tried feeding him some breakfast earlier, but he was not at all cooperative. Perhaps you will have better luck,” Gaius said as he held out a small bowl.
“Me? You want me to feed him?” Arthur asked, hesitantly, as if the idea of feeding Merlin appealed to him about as much as mucking out the stables himself.
“Well, do you see anyone else standing around, Sire? Yes, you. It was your dog that bit Merlin, was it not?”
“Well, yes, but …”
“But nothing, Arthur. Merlin needs to eat and I cannot get him to do so. If you want your servant back, then I suggest you go do your best to get him to eat.”
Nothing else for it—even Arthur knew when to give in—he accepted the bowl and walked to the steps leading to Merlin’s chambers. He looked back at Gaius. “My father is not to know any of this. About the dog attacking Merlin the night before last. About me helping Merlin yesterday. About me feeding Merlin this afternoon.”
“Yes, Sire,” replied a grinning Gaius.
Arthur pushed open the door that wasn’t shut all the way and stepped into the small room. Merlin was on his side facing Arthur, his eyes closed, but Arthur didn’t think he was asleep. “Are you asleep?” he asked. A grimace was his answer. Oh, right, Gaius had said Merlin couldn’t speak. “Gaius asked me to get you to eat.”
Merlin opened his eyes and glared.
Arthur shrugged his shoulders. “I may be the future king, but I am not about to go against Gaius.” Arthur walked to the bed and sat on the edge. “Don’t make me sit behind you and hold your hands down whilst feeding you. And don’t think I won’t,” said Arthur, grinning in spite of his attempt to appear serious.
Another glare from Merlin as Arthur put the spoon in the bowl and then brought it to Merlin’s mouth. “Open wide,” he said, talking as if he were speaking to a baby.
Merlin again glared but opened his mouth and accepted the small spoonful of porridge. He swallowed and grimaced.
“It looks painful,” was Arthur’s response.
Another glare. Arthur fed Merlin until the bowl was empty. “Looks like I have the magic touch,” he said as he took the cloth Gaius had given him and ran it across Merlin’s lips that had some porridge on them. Then he retrieved the goblet from the table by Merlin’s bed and placed his hand behind Merlin’s back. “You need to drink this. Gaius said you need to keep yourself hydrated.”
Merlin took a sip but then turned his head away and made a face. Hut,” is all he could manage to get out.”
Arthur was about to say that Merlin had to drink it, pain or not, when Gaius entered. “It is time for your poultice, Merlin.”
The look on Merlin’s face was heartbreaking for Arthur. “Do you need me to help again?”
“Yes,” was all Gaius said.
The same as the day before, Arthur arranged himself behind Merlin and held his hands down, but Merlin wasn’t as reticent today and he didn’t protest when Arthur pulled his body flush to him. Arthur nodded to Gaius and a few seconds later Merlin let out a scream and pulled back, but there was nowhere to go since Arthur was behind him. Arthur held on tighter. “Hold on, Merlin. It will be over soon.” But the next scream was far worse and Arthur looked at Gaius, not understanding.
“His wound has become infected more than it was yesterday, Sire. The poultice will have to be left on the bite until tomorrow morning,” replied Gaius, sounding worried, as if Merlin were the most important thing to him. Arthur thought that was probably the truth.
Arthur closed his eyes and released his hold on Merlin ever so slightly when the other let out a few small whimpers. “But, Gaius, he can’t withstand the pain for five minutes. How is he to make it through the rest of this day and the night?”
“I do not know, Sire.”
Arthur thought about a solution for all of a minute. “He will stay with me tonight.” At this Merlin turned his head and gave Arthur a strange look. Arthur smiled. “We have no other choice, Merlin. You need to get better and I need my servant back. My room is an absolute mess.”
Two hours later, Merlin was in Arthur’s bed, not sleeping, and looking miserable as Arthur sat behind him, holding him still. It was in this position Arthur fell asleep, and when he awoke, Merlin was lying beside him, staring into his eyes.
“Are you feeling better?” Arthur asked, somewhat frazzled by the way Merlin was looking at him. It was not a look Arthur had ever seen from another man, but it was not unwelcome. In fact, Arthur found himself suddenly uncomfortable, and that certainly had never happened because of another man. Fortunately, he was lying down beside Merlin, rather than Merlin being pressed against his chest, as they had been not so long ago.
“Not really,” Merlin managed to say. “But at least I can talk. Thank you for allowing me to stay in your room and in your bed.”
“You needed a place to stay, and as I said earlier, I need you to get better.”
“Yeah, you need me to go muck out the stables again.” Merlin let out a laugh but then frowned and brought his left hand to his face and traced the area beneath the bite. He then removed the poultice.
“Yes, of course,” Arthur said, a smirk on his face. “You need to keep the poultice on your face, Merlin. Here,” and he placed it back on Merlin’s face and held it in place as he looked into Merlin’s eyes, the same as Merlin was doing with him. “Does it still hurt badly?” Arthur asked.
Merlin nodded and closed his eyes.
Arthur leant in and gently placed a kiss on Merlin’s lips, then pulled back. “Better?”
“Yes,” was all Merlin said, but the small smile let Arthur know he was more than better.
“Good, go to sleep,” Arthur said before leaning in and placing another kiss on Merlin’s lips.
~*~
The following morning, when Arthur awoke, Merlin was nowhere to be found. Arthur sat up in bed, panicked, thinking that if anything happened to Merlin, he would have to answer to Gaius, and as mild-mannered as the physician was, Arthur didn’t think that would extend to him if anything happened to Merlin. “Merlin?” he called out.
“I’m here,” came the muffled voice of Merlin as he opened the door and walked into Arthur’s chambers carrying a basket of laundry. “I woke before the sun came up and decided to get an early start.”
Arthur stared at Merlin, whose face was still swollen. “And just what do you think you are doing out of bed? You looked like death last night and were still running a fever. And don’t even try to lie to me.”
“I feel better, Sire.” But it was clear by the tone of his voice that Merlin was not being truthful.
“In the bed, now,” said Arthur, authoritatively.
“Very well, but I’ll go to my own, thanks,” said Merlin as he set down the laundry and looked back at Arthur.
Arthur’s face fell. “Oh, well, okay then,” and he returned his head to his pillow, turned over onto his side and pulled up the duvet to cover his head. “You can go then. I do not require you today.”
“Arthur.”
Arthur didn’t reply.
“Arthur. Look at me,” said Merlin, his voice still weak, but much stronger than it had been earlier.
As much as he didn’t want to, Arthur did as asked.
“I didn’t ask you to kiss me last night,” Merlin said, looking sad, “but—”
“No, you didn’t, and I apologise for taking advantage of the situation. I just thought—”
“But I am not sorry for what you did, Arthur. How could I be when I've dreamt of you doing the very thing you did last night since the first time I saw you?”
“Yet you would rather go to your own bed than be in mine,” said a forlorn looking Arthur, wishing to understand the boy who was his manservant who was potentially about to be his lover. Arthur frowned. His father was going to have his head if he ever found out.
“No, you are wrong, Arthur. I would rather stay here with you, but until I am healed, I can’t do this. Don’t you understand? I can’t lie next to you, knowing what I want is something I can’t have. I won’t be able to have it for some time. I saw Gaius this morning and he says it might be another week before I am healed and he said I am not to put any increased pressure or stress on my body.”
Arthur sat up and looked into Merlin’s eyes. “But I don’t care that you can’t do anything, Merlin. Whenever you are healed then that is great, but for now, I want to take care of you. You always take care of me. I just want to return the favour. I don’t want to do anything that is going to hurt you. If we can’t do anything other than look at one another for a week or more, then that is all that we’ll do. I just want to be with you. I don’t care how.” And after he said it, Arthur knew it was the truth. How he had come to feel this strongly about his manservant in such a short period of time was a mystery to him, but all he needed to know was that he did have these feelings and they were overwhelming him.
Merlin grinned as he walked around to the other side of the bed, toed off his boots and climbed into the warm bed. He smiled when Arthur turned toward him and scooted in so that his bare chest was flush with his decidedly not bare chest Seconds later he closed his eyes and smiled when lips brushed over his forehead.
“Sleep.”