Work Text:
-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] at 2:21 --
TT: Darling Kanaya.
TT: Are you awake?
GA: Rose
GA: What Even
GA: Its Two Am In The Morning Of Course I Would Be In My Slumber Right Now
TT: I apologize for disturbing you at this hour of the night. Especially when you've reminded me that you'd be needing all the sleep you could get for your fashion workshop later this day.
TT: But I swear, I badly need someone to talk to right now, and by 'someone' I meant specifically you. I think my head is going to fucking explode any second now.
GA: Okay What Is Wrong
TT: It's none other my dearest brother, Dave.
GA: Oh
GA: Um Why Would You Want To Talk About Dave With Me Of All People
TT: Because you're basically the best girlfriend there is. And also because you're the person that's then closest to Karkat.
GA: Now What Does This Have To Do With Karkat
GA: And Dave
GA: Rose Do You See How I Separated Their Names And Not Combining Them In One Sentence
GA: Because That Is How Their Current Relationship Is
GA: So Why Would You Want To Talk About Karkat
GA: And Dave At The Same Time When They Just Broke Things Off With Each Other
TT: See, this is exactly why I wanted to talk to you.
TT: They've broken up for about five months now and still. But they refrain from talking to each other and continue their relationship as friends. It might save all of us from all the drama.
GA: I Think It Would Be Much Easier Said Than Done
GA: I Believe They Both Think That It Would Be Too 'Awkward' If Ever They Converse With Each Other
TT: Yes, I know that, but things are getting out of hand if you ask me.
GA: I Am Afraid I Dont Follow
TT: Kanaya, do you have any idea how much I want to strangle Dave with my own bare hands each night whenever he calls me and rants to me with his long-winded metaphors? I found it rather amusing on the first few nights, but by the time it got it's third monthsary, it was just plain pitiful.
TT: He could go on for hours, wake me in the middle of the night just like I'm doing to you right now. He'd rob me off of sleep, it's exceedingly tiring. You know, I'm not even sure of the bullshit he's spouting half of the time.
TT: He may be one who could easily hide from his problems, but not from me. I can't even fathom why he even bothers with his 'ironic' charade whenever talking to me. When in reality, all he has to say is that he's still not over with his former lover.
GA: So What You Are Saying Is That He Still Hasnt Move On From His Breakup With Karkat
TT: Yes.
TT: And that he keeps on annoying me to the bone because of it. I don't understand why he has to dump all this on me.
GA: Maybe He Keeps On Pestering You About It Because He Knows That You Could Help In His Problems
GA: You Are After All His Sister
GA: His Sister With A Degree On Psychology
TT: I've given him tons of advice, but I don't think he even follows them, not even a single one.
TT: Although I love my brother and I completely understand that he needs someone to open up to, he is such a dolt. I'm still human, Kanaya, I could still get fed up with his horseshit sometimes.
GA: I Know Dear
GA: I Just Had The Idea To Make You Feel Better
GA: Do You Want To Have Dinner Together Tomorrow Evening After My Workshop
GA: We Could Even Go To That Restaurant Youve Been Wanting To Go Recently
TT: Oh heavens, yes. Thank you so much for bearing with me.
GA: Im Just Being A Good Girlfriend Hun
GA: And To Make You Feel A Lot More Better
GA: Karkat Also Still Hasnt Moved On With Their Breakup
TT: What.
GA: Yes
GA: Though Its Not As Bad As With Dave Since Karkat Doesnt Wake Me Up Dead At Night To Tell Me That Hes Still Not Over It
GA: But Hes All Gloomy And He Keeps On Locking Himself In His Room And Doesnt Even Come Out Except To Go Out For Food Or To Take Trips To The Restroom
GA: I Have No Idea When Was The Last Time He Took A Proper Decent Bath Its Becoming More And More Ghastly Every Minute
GA: And Some Nights I Overhear Him Crying In His Room While Watching Romcoms
GA: But Not Just Any Romcoms
GA: Theyre Romcoms That He And Dave Used To Watch Together
GA: Then One Day I Confronted Him And He Admitted That He Is Indeed Not Over His Ex-Boyfriend
GA: Rose
GA: Are You Still There
GA: Rose
GA: Rose??
GA: This Is Becoming A Little Concerning Are You Alright
TT: Oh yes, darling Kanaya.
TT: And I just thought of the perfect plan to get those two idiots together again.
"A blind date?!"
"Yes, a blind date," your evil twin sister repeats, calm and collected in contrast to your shrill freak out. You can practically feel her smug grin at you over the phone.
"Rose, what the actual fuck?" you hiss under your breath, not wanting to raise your voice to make a disturbance to your neighbors.
Tonight is one of those nights where you call Rose in an ungodly hour just to make her listen to you rant. It's become a weird ritual between the two of you ever since the you-know-what happened. She doesn't comment on it, so you still continue on making calls to her most nights. No matter how late, she still picks up, being the awesome sister she is.
Lately, it's been very hard for you to sleep. You're always up, thinking about lots of things, especially your-used-to-be-boyfriend-that-you-may-or-may-not-have-moved-on-to. And somehow, talking to Rose is the best sleeping pill in the entire planet. Mostly because you'll tire yourself out eventually whenever babbling to her.
You usually make the first move in talking, rambling about the most nonsensical shit to her until she becomes quiet enough to make you think that she fell asleep on you. Not like she does fall asleep while you're ranting, she would never. Because duh, it's Rose and she always listens to you.
But it just so happens that when you called her this night, she beat you to it and spoke up first.
'I have an idea on how you're finally going to get over with Karkat.' is what she said.
You immediately take it back, she's no awesome sister.
Then she told you about this blind date she set you up on. And yes, she set you up on a date without your consent nor your awareness for the matter. That's like - the same thing as stabbing you in the back.
Your sister is the worst.
She explains that meeting someone new is the perfect way to move on from your previous relationship. Hence, her setting up the date without you knowing because you probably won't agree with it if you knew.
And now that knew, you still don't agree with it. Not even the slightest bit.
"Goddamit, Lalonde, I don't need to 'meet someone new' to 'move on'. I got over with him on a long time ago," you argue.
"Oh, really?" your sister retaliates, not amused. "Then may I ask, dearest brother, on what's always keeping you up and awake every night? What's the reason in you calling me right now, hmm? Or maybe it's not a 'what' at all, is it perhaps a 'who'?"
Welp, she's got you right there. There's no point in hiding it anymore, even though you already expected her to catch up with your bullshit. You let out a defeated sigh. "Okay fine, let's say I'm still not over him, but is it really necessary to get me on a blind date?"
"As a matter of fact, yes, Dave. When was the last time that you didn't go out of your apartment that wasn't because of your job or an errand?"
"I went to the movies with you, John, and Jade last month."
You hear her sigh over the phone. "That's because I threatened you to go."
"...Yeah, you were pretty fucking terrifying back then."
"Look, what I'm trying to say is that I can't have you unhealthily cooped up in your apartment for the rest of your life. It's worrying not only to me but to your other friends as well. You need to get out and breathe some fresh air, socialize with new people, and most of all, move on."
You roll your eyes as you become more and more impatient with this conversation. "Meeting some random person might be the last thing I need to move on. And seriously, a blind date? That's like - super fucking cliche, Lalonde. What ever happened to your clever and unpredictable schemes?"
"Well, I assure you, I have hardly lost my touch. Who you're going to be meeting with definitely knock you off of your feet. He'd make you swoon like the ironic princess you've always wanted to be, get your non-existent panties in a twist."
"Now that last part was just plain disgusting."
"You still like to use it an expression, though."
"I don't care, I'm still not going."
She pauses briefly. It takes her a whole minute before speaking up again. "Please, Dave, could you at least do it just this once. For me? I promise, if this date doesn't go well, I'll finally back off."
Now it's your turn to be silent. You definitely want to say 'no' in a heartbeat. Even so, you deeply care for your sister so you finally let out a sigh. "Fine, I'll go. But could you at least tell me what's the guy like."
"Sadly, but no spoilers. One thing I could say, though, is that he is definitely not what you'll be expecting at all." Rose replies, tone mischievous. You hear her chuckle on her end, you become suspicious of her within an instant.
"Get some sleep, Dave," she continues. "I swear, you're never going to regret this."
Ha, you highly doubt that. You are so going to regret this.
Days passed after your unlikely talk with Rose that night. And as you check your calendar every day, you can't help but cringe more and more as the day of your date goes nearer and nearer. You are so fucking screwed.
In the end, the designated day for your blind date comes and you couldn't be more aggravated.
Rose comes by at your place to help you get ready. And maybe to make sure that you did, in fact, attend the date and not just skip it without her knowing. As much as you would like to make a snide remark in her having so little faith in her brother, you honestly don't want to go.
However, your evil twin is here and she's here to make your life a living hell. She even drives you to the restaurant you're supposed to go to know that you did arrive at your destination and not at some other place. You swear, you almost think that she's your second mother.
She tells the hostess by the entrance for a reservation for two. The hostess mistakes that you two were attending the dinner, to which Rose immediately corrects. But boy, you do wish that it's Rose having dinner with you instead of just some random guy you haven't even met.
Your sister gives you a small peck on the cheek, smearing her purple lipstick all over your pale cheek. She then gives you a hug and whispers a quick 'thank you' to you. You shrug in return, telling her it's no problem. After that, she breaks the hug, says 'goodbye', and leaves you and the hostess.
The cheerful hostess leads you to your reserved booth. You thank her before she leaves, she replies with a smile as you sit comfortably in your seat. Ten minutes has passed and you still can't help but roll your eyes as you check your watch. Great, now your 'date' is running late. You remind yourself that if this date goes well, you'll have to buy him a clock as a gift.
About thirty minutes later, you start to wonder to yourself if your date is even gonna show up. Borderline pissed and a whole lot of hungry, you're now tempted to text Rose to pick you up. At least there's decent food that you could enjoy and eat at your apartment.
A couple more minutes pass and you see a man walk towards you at the corner of your eye and you assume it's finally your date. Still, you decide to keep your eyes trained at the table, not even bothering to look if he's good looking or not. But then again, when has Rose ever ceased to fail you when it comes to planning your hook-ups.
"Holy motherfucking shit, you have got to be fucking kidding me." your date says in a familiar voice.
But you think, it's way too familiar for your liking. You realize that the last time you heard this certain voice was about five months ago when you broke up with...
Your head immediately shoots up to look at your date for tonight and goddamn it, Rose was right, this truly is someone that you didn't expect. And for the first time in what seemed to be forever, you actually see him face to face.
You know that now's not the right time, but you can't help but take note that he's still as handsome as when you left him.
"Vantas?" you breathed out in surprise without the slightest hint of irony.
In contrast to your speechless and shocked reaction, his has the same amount of shock but not actually speechless. He goes on complete rage mode.
"And what in the ever loving fuck are you fucking doing here?!" he snaps, which causes few of the customers to look at him, fazed and disturbed by the volume of his voice and the use of profanity.
You raise a questioning eyebrow at him. "What am I doing here? I think the real question is 'what are you doing here'? If you hadn't notice, this was supposed to be my blind date, not yours."
"I don't understand," he mutters, seething. "I'm pretty much sure this was the table for the reservation, you're not supposed to be my date! I fucking already know you, and we've already dated. What the actual fuck?"
Then you notice a waiter walking towards your direction, a tray of empty wine glasses in his hand. "Is anything alright here?" he asks in concern.
He glares at the poor young waiter, eyes filled with anger. "No, as a matter of fact, nothing is alright! Everything about this is such a fucking disaster, I knew I shouldn't have agreed with Maryam."
Your eyes widen behind your shades as realization dawns over you. Shit, those lesbians had totally set the two of you up.
You are so going to fucking kill Rose after this.
But then again, if you hadn't accepted her offer, you wouldn't have the chance of meeting up with your ex-boyfriend for the first time in five months. Because you wouldn't have the guts to even talk to him, let alone see him face to face.
You're not entirely sure which scares you more. The fact that he's now causing a scene and an embarrassment for the two of you; or the fact that you don't actually care because you just feel relieved to see him.
In the middle of his ranting, you hear him say something like 'I'm fucking leaving this shithole'. He then marches away towards the exit, leaving silence throughout the entire restaurant.
Now well aware of the people staring at you, some surprised and some irritated, you start to stand awkwardly. You storm off the building as well to follow a certain guy with anger issues. You also apologize to the waiter who had just been dumped with so many harsh words by said guy.
You brisk walk your way in the cold evening, taking a glance of your ex-boyfriend and striding towards him in pursuit. Karkat eventually notices you and he cranes his neck to give you a glare. "Strider, what the fuck are you still doing here?"
"I want to talk." you briefly reply.
You could practically feel him rolling his eyes at you as he continues to trudge away from you. "There is absolutely nothing to talk about, we're done, remember?"
Wow, he had to fucking slap you the words 'we're' and 'done', doesn't he?
"Look, Vantas, can't you just stop for a goddamn minute and listen to me?"
He actually laughs at that, bitterness filling his voice. Still, he continues to walk. "And why, out of all times, would you want to talk to me now? After all those months of not answering my messages and calls, you decide to man the fuck up now? How 'bout I give you a taste of your own medicine and fucking ignore you this time? Tell me, Strider, would it hurt? Because it kinda did when you did that to me."
You're sure it'll only fuel up his anger, still, you decide to be a smart-ass because well, it's in your nature. "Technically, you're not ignoring me since you're still replying to me."
"Ugh, you are such a pain in the ass, sometimes I wonder why I even dated you in the first place."
"Because I'm hot as fuck and you can't resist me. You've done a pretty shitty job doing it back then, I'm pretty sure you're not gonna resist me now."
"Watch me," he bites back. "I could ignore you and just walk back to my apartment even if you follow me like some creepy-ass stalker."
Minutes later, your ex keeps on pacing his way to his apartment. For some weird reason, he hasn't taken the bus or something. Which you are pretty grateful for too because you don't have any extra money with you. Rose is supposed to be your ride home, probably to pester you about how your date had gone, if you had fun and all that shit.
Oh, if only your dearest, evil sister is here. You'd tell her all about how this date could get any worse than this.
He keeps a steady pace, still knowing that you're a good six feet behind him. He ignores you, despite your calls and sudden rambles. Rambles about the most random shit, though not touching a subject that would be too personal to you both.
"Vantas," you say firmly for like the one-millionth time, gritting your teeth in growing annoyance. "Talk to me."
He still disregards you, fastening his pace and muttering obscenities under his breath. You then start to get impatient and fasten your walking as well. You reach out a hand and grab one of his arms, tugging the dark gray sleeves of his favorite turtleneck, stopping him in his tracks.
"Goddamn it, you insufferable prick, let go of me! Strider, I already told you to fuck off!" He snarls, squirming away from your grip. You're relieved that there aren't many people around, because if it is, more embarrassment for the two of you.
You see him start walking again, this time, you don't bother to follow. It really pains you to see him get away from you just now that you had just seen him for the first time in months.
It pains you on how he doesn't want to talk or even stay friends anymore. What's even more painful is that it's all your goddamn fault that he's angry at you. You were a jackass and you ignored his desperate ways to get your attention.
You shunned him for so long because that's always been the thing you're great at, right? Avoiding and ignoring all your problems, always hiding away in fear in having to deal with them.
You're such a fucking arrogant bastard, you can't even say a single word to him after the break-up. You never said 'I'm sorry', not even bothering to say a 'hi' or 'hello'. Because you're too much of a coward, you have always been. And he had every right to get mad at you right now.
Seeing him with his back turned on you, walking away and leaving you for the second time in your life. It pains you to think that he might never give you a second chance.
But then you remember what Rose said about 'moving on'. Rose has always been known for her riddles and advice with hidden meanings. It wouldn't be a surprise if this fiasco was one of her set-ups. You know your sister only wants you to be happy again, and she knows that Karkat would be the answer to it other than some random person you've never even met.
She set you up with Karkat for a reason. She planned that because she knows you haven't moved on with him, that you miss him up til this day. She knows that you're not going to let go of Karkat just yet, so she arranged a meeting for the two of you.
And you know that she wouldn't have gotten him into this mess as well if he... if he doesn't want anything to do with you anymore. Because if Karkat doesn't want to see you again, Rose probably won't do a dick move and make him see you again.
But then he showed up as your date. Which means that Karkat, in fact, still wants something to do with you. Which also means that he still hasn't moved on to you as well.
Holy shit, you've been a goddamn idiot.
You realize that what she might have meant that this date will help you to move on. Not from your previous lover, though, but from your past mistakes. And to begin again as a better person.
You've been a coward for far too long now, you guess it's about time that you man the fuck up and win the heart of your one true love.
"Karkat," you say his name for the first time in five months. Oh, how you missed saying his name. How your mouth moves and your tongue rolls out and your voice rings out whenever you pronounce and say it just so perfectly.
He freezes up at the sound of his first name being called. He stops in his tracks, yet, not turning around to look at you. Still, you doesn't move an inch nor does he starts walking again. He's waiting for you, anticipating and curious of what you've got to say.
"Karkat, I..." you start, somehow unsure of what to say. "I'm sorry. I'm just so fucking sorry for everything. I know I overreacted when I saw you kissing with Terezi that night five months ago. I know that you did your best to explain that it's just for some stupid party game that you played. And I know that you didn't mean to hurt me, but I didn't listen and just straightaway left you. I didn't even bother to answer your messages or calls, I'm sorry that I completely ignored you."
You take a brief moment to let out a breath, it comes up ragged and shaky given how cold it is tonight. Meanwhile, Karkat doesn't even move an inch.
"I was an idiot, I know that now. And I know you're infuriated at me and that you probably don't want to see me ever again after this night. But all I wanna say is that... I miss you."
Finally, Karkat turns around to face you, his scowl nowhere to be found. Instead, it's replaced with a soft look. He starts trudging back towards you, you notice that his stance is now calmer and steadier.
"You're right, you're an idiot," he says, smiling gently. "God, you have no idea how much I'm so fucking glad to hear you finally admitted that to yourself." There is no hint of malice or anger in his tone of voice, there's nothing but bittersweet fondness and endearment. You think you could just cry just then and there.
"If it makes you feel any better," he continues. "I miss you too."
Yep, that's the cue, you kinda did cry (internally, of course, you aren't just gonna make a huge mess out of yourself) right then and there. "God, I'm just - I'm so fucking sorry." you almost choke out.
You hear Karkat sigh, then he reaches out to pull you by your shoulders and wrapping his arms around you. You've gotta admit, given his short height, it's definitely hard to adjust to him and bend your knees without losing balance. Because fucking shit, you're practically shaking all over Karkat.
God, how you missed this. You missed how his thick arms wrapping around you as a sign of protection and safety. You missed drowning in his shitty sweaters and turtlenecks when he hugs you all tight and caring. You missed the feeling of wanting to vanish inside his embrace because you know that everything will be okay when he's got you.
You miss him so, so much, you just kinda want to always stay like this.
"No, you fucking bulge muncher," he replies, still hugging you. "I should be the one apologizing. I should've tried harder in letting you know that things were okay. I should've been a better boyfriend to you but I guess I can't undo anything now, can I? I can't go back in time and change my decision with what I should've done. The only thing that matters now is for the both of us to start anew with a fresh, clean slate. I'm willing to try and give us a second chance, Strider, are you?"
You immediately want to say 'yes' to his question, but then you suddenly think of something that made you hesitated. "But what if it doesn't work out like the last time?"
You could feel him rolling his eyes at you. "Then at least we would know what went wrong now this time. This time, we try harder to fix whatever would happen wrong. And this time, we'll fix it together as one. Kanaya was right, relationships shouldn't just end with one fight. Because as cheesy as it may sound, it could strengthen the bonds with how much you could learn each other's flaws from it."
Karkat breaks the hug. "So, what do you say, Dave?"
You nod at him. "Hell yes, hell fucking yes."
He then outstretches a hand in front of you. "Hello, my name is Karkat Vantas, it seems to be that I'm the person you're meeting with for this blind date. It's nice to meet you."
You let out a snort at how silly he could be, still, you decide to just roll with it and shake his hand. "Well, the name's Dave Strider, cool kid extraordinaire, and I don't think that we'll be able to visit that goddamn restaurant for a long time."
"Tell me about it, I think I might be banned from eating there from now on."
"Well, we could always just eat dinner by that pizza parlor we passed just blocks from here. I know it won't be much, but I think it'll do well for a first date," you recommend, grinning.
"I say, it's quite perfect for me." Karkat returns the grin.
The two of you then start walking side by side, holding hands and bantering playfully like couples would do on their first date. You'll admit, throughout the night, there are some parts that are awkward and tense. But mostly it's fun and amusing and downright amazing.
It's true you can't undo your past mistakes, but it's never too late to begin again now, right?