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Zim was not worried about Dib.
He was annoyed, yes. It had been two weeks since their arranged Final Battle (ignoring the fact that they had this every three months) to determine the fate of Earth. Dib didn't arrive and Zim waited an annoyingly long time for him in that abandoned park until GIR finally had the gall to point out he might not be coming after three whole Earth days.
"He's not doing good, Zim. Dad fucked up bad this time."
No, Zim was not worried about Dib. To worry about Dib implied he cared about the human. He did not care about any human. They weren't worthy of it, especially not Dib-stink.
It's just... The Gaz human wasn't the type to ask Zim for help when it came to her brother. At all. She was the type to let him rot in bed for a year and then grudgingly check on him later after someone pointed out he existed.
And maybe, just maybe, it admittedly freaked him out to see her actually look sad. Her eyes were wet and everything. It was gross and Zim was afraid she was going to get him wet with human tears like in one of those human soap operas, but instead she rubbed her eyes angrily and told him to go check on him.
She'd do him a favor if he did it.
This was all for that promised favor. A Gaz who owed you a favor is an excellent asset.
Yes. That was it.
He slammed open the door of Dib's room. He did not knock. Knocking is for humans who did not have a nemesis that just ignored him for two weeks.
"Diiiiiib," He called out. He walked past the piles of human garbage. If he had a nose, he'd wrinkle it. The place was disgusting. His eyes locked onto the large pile of blankets on the bed. "Dib-stink, the Gaz is worried about you and asked me to do a 'wellness check' on you. How pathetic is that?"
There was a vague groan, confirming that there was, in fact, a living body somewhere under there. Dib did not come out.
He began aggressively poking blankets.
"Dib-stink! You missed our Final Battle." The capitals were, of course, necessary. That's how important the Final Battle is. "I was waiting for you. Was that part of your plan? Is THIS part of your plan? Dib-human, wake up."
There was a mutter of something.
"What was that?"
"…don't call me that."
Zim was confused.
"Dib-human?" He repeated. There was another groan.
He always called Dib that. Now it offends him all of a sudden?
Naturally, he doubled down and kept calling him that.
"Dib-human." He grinned wildly, poking him even more aggressively. "Dib-human, Dib-human, Dib-human. The human whose name is unfortunately Dib. The stupid, stupid, Dib-human!"
The blankets were thrown off by Dib in one full swoop.
The glare he got was familiar. The fury in his eyes was always wonderful to know Zim had inflicted on him. It brought him joy to know he could piss him off this much just by saying a few words.
The shirtless body was not familiar. It was the first time he saw him shirtless. Usually he had some type of shirt on.
Zim stared. The Dib had flesh mounds. Only human females have that, right? Something about milk is the biological reason for it, he remembers, because their stupid classmates had laughed at him in health class when he asked if it was the same stuff packaged in their stores. It was not, it turned out.
In response to his staring, Dib covered his chest with the blanket. Zim looked up.
Dib looked like he had been crying. His eyes were red and so was his face, now. But he was still glaring.
Zim ignored the flesh mounds to focus on the more pressing issue.
"Seriously, what did your dumb father do this time?" Zim poked him in the arm. Dib slapped his hands away. He snorted at the reaction. "Did he tell you your werewolves weren't real this time? I could've told you that. Dib-human, you're so dumb."
Dib's glare fell. He looked down at his hands. It was a pathetic reaction. He looked like a pathetic dog. Zim had an urge to pet him, all of a sudden, but he thinks that would be inappropriate even for him.
"I said don't call me that."
"Yes, yes, you said that. But why?" Zim pressed. "You were fine with it before."
"Because I'm not human."
A pause.
Zim stared blankly at Dib.
Dib, with his gross flesh that feels too warm sometimes when they hurt each other, a sign of the blood that flows through his veins. His inability to get hurt by Earth acidic rain. His completely ordinary human organs that he once literally went inside of and, grossly, was flushed out of.
Is Dib stupid?
Something must have reflected on his face because Dib kept talking.
"Dad said I was a clone." Dib laughed under his breath. "That isn't human, Zim. Humans aren't born like that."
Silence.
"Worse, I'm not even a perfect clone." Dib clutched at his head. He didn't cry, but he looked liked he wanted to. "My dad thought it would be interesting to perform genetic modification on me. I could've been born a man, but he thought it would be more interesting to get a female, Zim."
That explained the flesh mounds. He was assuming it was like, a tumor or something.
"He knew I was going to be born with his brain, but he still modified me." Dib giggled madly. His eyes were wide and bloodshot. He almost looked like a Irken in the midst of battle. "And now here I am. Not human, not a man in any way. Just a pathetic, stupid piece of shit that believes in things that no one else does and will never be taken seri—-"
Zim slapped him.
Dib stared at him. Before he could say anything, Zim grabbed him by the throat.
"Z-Zim," Dib choked out. Zim's hand were unfortunately too small compared to his throat to truly snap his neck, but it would've been difficult for him to breathe. "What the fuck—-"
"Are you insulting me, Dib?" Zim hissed at him. "Do you think Zim is stupid? Do you believe, after all these years, that I am stupid like your classmates? Truly?"
"N-No!"
He looked like he was being honest. Or perhaps it was survival instincts. He thought he was going to die, so he was LYING to the Zim.
Regardless. Zim was annoyed. Worse than annoyed. He was infuriated at everything Dib was saying.
He always wanted to see Dib dead. He fantasized it, many times. But this….
He wanted him to suffer in this moment for insulting Zim like this. For having the gall to say these things, he wanted to rip him open and force him to look at his own organs, to realize the truth of what his body was.
"Irkens do not reproduce like you humans, Dib." He hissed out. "We are reproduced in a factory. We are clones of an original. Even Zim doesn't know who the first Irken was."
Dib stopped struggling. He stared at him and Zim did not care to decipher what that reaction meant. He was righteously angry and he needed Dib to understand that.
"I am a clone and yet I am Irken." He let go of Dib. Dib gasped for air. He sneered at Dib. He gestured at himself. "They called me a defect. Me! A defect! Zim is not a defect. Zim is perfect in every way."
Dib was listening to his every word. It might've been the first time Dib did that, he thinks. Dib was the only one who took him seriously on this planet, but this was the first time he ever LISTENED to a thing Zim had to say.
He pointed at Dib. Right at the tip of his nose.
"If you're not human, then what does that make me?" He demanded. "What does that make Zim, Dib? Answer me."
Dib didn't respond.
His eyes were wide. He had a slight redness to his cheeks, probably from being choked by the superior Zim. And his mouth was open, like he wanted to say something, but couldn't.
Zim did not give him the opportunity to answer.
"You are my nemesis. The only human on this planet worth a shit." He snapped.
He didn't normally use human 'curse words', thinking them pitiful compared to the wider vocabulary of an Irken, but it seemed right, in this moment.
"Somehow, you've not realized it, so I'll tell you now for your stupid little head to understand… to be an Irken's nemesis is to be considered an equal."
"An equal?" Dib repeated. He was still staring at Zim, but for some reason his face was turning redder at this. "You consider me an equal?"
Zim crossed his arms. "Of course." He said bluntly. "And that means that if Zim is the perfect Irken, that means that you are the perfect human. Regardless of how you were born, regardless of your odd flesh mounds, you're perfection, Dib-human. You're my nemesis, after all."
Dib made an odd sound at that. Zim didn't understand it. But his eyes were getting wet again so Zim casually backed off a bit, in case he got snot or tears on him.
That would be gross.
"If others do not understand that, then just prove them wrong." He finished. It felt a little to finish like this. Subdued, in comparison to the rest of his rant. But it was the truth.
He knew Dib could prove himself. He already proved himself to Zim, many times over.
"Is that what you did?" Dib asked quietly. "Did you have to prove yourself?"
Zim was about to respond with a negative. He didn't have to prove anyone wrong because everyone knew Zim was perfect.
But, for once, Zim thought about the question.
He thought about his days at the Academy. When everyone started growing taller and he was left behind. That insecurity that he didn't have anymore — how it manifested in experiments that went out of hand. He still doesn't believe the Blob actually hurt anyone regardless of what everyone told him. It was meant to be a perfect weapon for the Irken species. It didn't deserve to be locked up on a empty planet far away, where no one could find it. Even Zim didn't know the coordinates to find it.
The Blob was meant to prove himself capable. Instead, they started looking at him with fear. They accused him of things Zim knew he did not do.
Yet, It was the reason why Zim realized he was perfect. If everyone could be so wrong, that meant that out of millions of Irken, there were only three that could be considered perfection.
The two Tallest and the only Shortest.
Yes. Zim was perfect. But he didn't always think that way.
"Yes." He finally said. "I proved myself."
It was the first time he ever admitted that to another living soul. That Zim once felt the desire to prove himself, that he felt insufficient, that he was….
That he could've been a defect.
What a dreadful thought.
Zim sat down on the bed. He fell back against Dib's blanket-covered legs. He felt Dib flinch slightly. But he didn't care.
He looked at the ceiling. Despite being so tall, Dib doesn't clean his ceiling fans properly. There was a layer of dust on them. Or maybe he didn't clean them in two weeks and it just got like that.
It was a dumb and insignificant thought to have after all that. His anger had left him. Now he felt odd.
No, he recognized this feeling.
He felt exhausted. Every inch of him was exhausted after all of that. He relaxed his body as he closed his eyes.
"You're tiresome, Dib."
"So are you." Dib laughed. He was looking at Zim with an expression that seemed…fond. Like how Zim might look at his Tallest. "You're really exhausting to deal with, Zim."
"And yet here we are." Zim snorted. "Tiresome human and tiresome Irken. I need to sleep."
"Sharing a bed." Zim didn't get why Dib laughed at that one. It was just a bed. They were both tired. It was more efficient this way. He didn't want to go back to his home right now where Gir would annoy him and not let him sleep. "I'm shirtless, even. You don't realize what you're doing, huh?"
"Stop talking, Dib-human." He sighed. He could feel himself drifting away. "You're annoying."
"…hey, Zim?"
He felt a hand on his head. It was nice. He would forgive the Dib for ignoring his order.
"Yes, Dib?"
"How do Irkens love?"
What an odd question at such a time.
"We fight alongside each other and swear an oath to never betray one another." Zim answered. Perhaps it was how tired he was that he entertained the question. Usually, he'd answer with bullshit to see if Dib would catch on. But he was comfortable. He didn't feel like lying this time. "We mark each other with our symbol."
"Huh." Dib laughed at that. "Surprisingly similar to humans, then."
"I thought I told you not to insult us." He shot open one eye to glare at the amused human he was lying on. "Do you want to get choked again?"
"Sorry, sorry." Dib didn't seem very sorry, but he caressed his head and Zim sighed, again. "Hey, Zim? Thank you."
Zim didn't even get why he was thanking him.
He did nothing worthy of thanks. He simply said the truth.
He decided to ignore Dib and rest. Dib said something, after that. He thinks it might've been something about love, again. Dib was always such a stubborn idiot. He didn't want to answer his questions.
He closed his eyes.
Zim didn't care about the things that he hated about himself.
Zim was the same as him. He understood him in ways that no other human will.
Zim thought he was perfect, just like him. The egocentric Zim thought he was just as good as him.
It was hard not to say it. After so many years, it was hard not to acknowledge the feeling that sometimes bubbled to the surface and right now was boiling away, desperate to come out.
"Zim, I love you. I really do."
It was the truth.
Zim let out a snore.
He felt an instinctual urge to do what he would've done if this had been any other day —- to draw on Zim's stupid green face and wait until he sees himself in the mirror to laugh.
Instead, he closed his eyes. He wasn't tired because he had been sleeping all day already, but it was fine to just rest, wasn't it? One single day where human and invader can put aside their eternal battle and just sleep.
He'd have to apologize to Gaz later if what Zim said was true. He didn't mean to worry her.
For now, he wanted to have this moment of peace. This was okay. Earth could wait.