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BANG! BANG! BANG!
“Open the door, Parker!” Michelle’s voice barked on the other side of the door she was banging on. “I know you’re in there!”
Peter flinched and curled into himself more with his arms hugging his legs. His face was buried in his knees and he kept his eyes tightly clenched shut. The hood of his jacket he threw on when he stumbled into his apartment was pulled up and Peter felt like it was a shield from the rest of the world that he could hide behind.
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
“Dammit, Peter! Stop hiding and open the door!” Michelle yelled more. She emphasized her demands with her fist roughly kissing the door in succession.
A shield that wasn’t working very great.
Peter didn’t know what went so wrong. He had tried so hard to not get close enough to anyone that possibly could make the spell fail. That very spell was the reason the multiverse didn’t collapse because of his stupid mistake and Peter wasn’t going to take the chance of it happening again.
Scratch that – Peter did know where he went wrong.
The loneliness had gotten to Peter. There was only so much one could be alone in a world that knew only his superhero persona. The spell made sure of that and it left Peter oh so desperately lonely.
“Peter, just open the door and let’s talk it out,” Ned’s calmer voice tried to reason. “It’s been such a long time, yeah? Let’s catch up. You just need to let us in.”
Peter grabbed at his head and covered his ears, biting at his bottom lip. He hoped that if he just ignores them long enough, they would get the hint he didn’t want to talk. Or perhaps one of his neighbors in his rundown apartment building would complain and get them kicked out. While he didn’t want to get them in trouble, he didn’t want to ruin their lives even more.
But…Peter did want to talk. He wanted to talk and laugh and cry with them. He wanted to live his life with them. He wanted to be able to talk to others outside of his mask.
He wanted someone to know Peter Parker, not Spider-Man.
It had all been a mistake. A stupid mistake that had both his girlfriend – former? Current? Peter wasn’t sure – and best friend knocking on his door. They had followed him home and spotted him in the suit sans the mask outside the building. His spidey-sense didn’t register them as someone that wanted to hurt him and it didn’t alert him to the two bodies at the entrance of the alleyway as he pulled off his mask.
“Peter!” Michelle yelled again, shrilly, and her fist hit the door harder than ever. “God dammit, just open the door!”
It was Peter’s fault. He had been sloppy. When he did notice them upon the call of his name from their mouths, Peter had bolted for his apartment’s window without thinking about how it would lead them right to where he lived. Perhaps this was his rude awakening that he needed to hanging around so close to Michelle and Ned when they weren’t supposed to know him anymore.
Peter couldn’t help it though. No matter how much he tried, he found himself wandering too close to them. They were always within arm’s reach but Peter always stopped himself. He had plans to rip off the metaphorical bandage and tell them who he was at first, had a whole speech he prepared that he spent nights agonizing over and everything.
But then…he saw how happy and complete their lives were without him.
Peter gave up soon after and just lurked around to see how they were doing. Accidentally stumbling into the same coffee shops and colleges parties they hosted and watching them on his patrols to make sure they made it home safe. Listening to them but never interacting more than necessary, which meant none at all most of the time.
“You can’t avoid us forever!” Michelle yelled, kicking the door. The whole frame rattled but stayed in place.
“Do you think he passed out?” Ned gulped past the door. Peter didn’t know why it mattered to them. They just needed to continue their perfect life without him there ruining it for them like he did for everyone else.
“Shit, Peter, if you don’t open this door in the next ten seconds, I’m coming in!” Michelle threatened.
BANG!
Peter, if possible, tucked himself into a smaller ball. The room felt like it was swimming around him and Peter’s breath hitched. He swallowed past the need to throw up – from what, Peter didn’t know. His best guess was from the nerves at having to face the two people he had been avoiding for their own protection.
He didn’t know why they were trying so hard. They had their own lives that were going perfectly without him. College at their chosen university with as many friends as they could want. Families that loved them.
No superhero persona that dragged them into dangerous situations more than they should have been. No last-minute cancelled plans because someone decided to be evil. No late nights having to sit at his injured bedside watching him because they couldn’t take him to the hospital or else his identity could be revealed.
No Peter Parker to ruin it all like always.
There was a loud click in the silence that Peter didn’t notice descending. Before he could think on it too long, the door to his crummy apartment flew in and two pairs of feet came stomping in. The door slammed shut behind them.
Peter’s heart begun to beat hard in his chest as the footsteps approached him. His blood roared in his ears. He risked a glance to the window to see if he could escape out of it before they could find him. But, alas, his vision swam too much and the thought of moving made him gag a little.
Perhaps his thought process had been too long or his intruders were moving too fast because in the next moment, they rounded the corner to the room he was hiding in. Michelle’s curly hair was wild around her face from running after him and banging on his door. She was breathing hard and her eyes darted around the room. Ned was similar and was worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.
Then they spotted him and Peter felt his heart stutter when he met the gazes of two people that knew him.
Him.
Not Spider-Man.
Him.
Peter Parker.
“Peter,” Michelle breathed and all the anger she had at the doorway evaporated. All that was left was pure unadulterated concern and care and love. Peter flinched back hard, hands dropping to the floor to scramble back away. Michelle drew up short and slowly raised her hands like she was dealing with a skittish animal. “Peter, it’s okay. It’s just us.”
Peter shook his head, which made the room sway nauseatingly and backed up farther. “No, you’re not supposed to be here,” Peter whispered into the deathly still air. Distantly, he heard his neighbor three floors down yelling at the sport game on their TV. Everything was also so much louder lately and the silence in this reunion was deafening. “You’re not supposed to remember me.”
“Yeah, we know,” Ned gulped. He slyly pulled his phone from his pocket and sent off a text with practiced ease without having to look. “But we broke the spell.”
“You weren’t supposed to,” Peter said, backing up farther. His hands shook and his head felt fuzzy. Like he was up in the clouds and flying while falling at the same time. “No one was supposed to remember me.”
“Yeah, you said,” Michelle huffed as her irritation at the broken promise was brought the forefront of her memory. “And you know what, I happen to remember that you said you would come find us and make us remember you. What happened to that?”
“I tried. You both were so happy with your life without me in it,” Peter said in a rush, looking at the ground. He couldn’t look at them. He couldn’t or else his resolve would break. “I couldn’t ruin that like I ruined everything else.
“What are you talking about?” Ned asked, brow furrowing.
“My parents, Ben, Tony, May,” Peter listed off, the tears falling from his eyes. Peter squeezed his eyes shut tight again and looked away. “They’re all dead because of me.”
“Peter, you know that’s not true,” Michelle argued with a wet tone to her voice.
“But it is!” Peter exploded and he hiccupped a sob. “The only similar thing between all of them was me! I was the reason they all died! I couldn’t do the same to the two of you!”
“And why do you get to decide that without us, huh?!” Michelle challenged. Her hands were in trembling tight fists at her sides. “Why are you taking the choice to know you away from us?!”
“MJ, I just told you how dangerous it is to know me!” Peter argued and he crawled back more.
“And we don’t care!” Michelle exclaimed. With a huff, she ignored the distance Peter was trying to put between them and stalked forward. Peter yelped and scurried back more but his back hit a wall too soon. His breathes came out in pants as Michelle came closer and he ducked his head.
The fuzziness in Peter’s head grew. It felt like he was falling without someone to catch him.
Falling and falling and falling and falling and falling…
Gentle hands came to grab Peter’s face and pulled it upwards. Just like that, Peter wasn’t falling anymore. “Peter, it’s okay, just breathe,” Michelle urged him in a soft voice.
“I-I can’t,” Peter gasped, keep his eyes resolutely shut.
“Peter,” Michelle started and Peter let out a whimper at the sound of his name – his name, not Spider-Man’s – rolling off her tongue. She thumbed at the space under his eyes to brush away the tears. “Please, Peter, open your eyes for me.”
Well, if she asked like that, Peter had to oblige her.
Peter opened his eyes hesitantly, wincing as the light in the dim room was too much. It always seemed to be since his second mutation. Even with that, he could see Michelle’s beautiful face in front of him. So close – so much closer than in a long time – and all Peter wanted to do was kiss it.
“There he is,” Michelle breathed.
“MJ,” Peter gasped, the room feeling like it was tilting on an axis.
“Breathe with me, okay?” Michelle asked. She took in an exaggerated breath, holding it for a beat before letting out in the same manner. “See? Just like that.”
“You shouldn’t be here,” Peter whispered in a rush around his breathlessness.
“Hush,” Michelle said in a soothing whisper. She thumbed away more tears. “Just breathe. That’s all I need you to do right now.”
Nodding his head shakily – a sharp pain pounding in the side of it – Peter took in a shuddering breath. He copied Michelle, following her intakes and exhales. When he would trip up, Michelle would whisper soothing words to him and urged him to continue. Off to the side, Ned was speaking quietly in a rushed tone into his phone while taking long glances back at Peter.
Finally, Peter got his breathing under control. His breathes still came out as shutters from his crying but it was better than before. Peter winced when his head throbbed some more.
“You okay now?” Michelle asked.
Peter nuzzled into Michelle’s hands more, nodding his head. “I’m okay,” Peter murmured.
“Good,” Michelle smiled and leaned forward to kiss Peter’s forehead. He leaned into it and enjoyed the moment that he knew couldn’t last for their own safety. “Now…want to tell us why you were avoiding us?”
“I told you, it’s not safe to be around me,” Peter answered and prepared himself for the grief of having to be alone again come on. He had to commit this moment to memory so he had something to look back on when a future crashing wave of loneliness threatened to pull him under again.
“And like I said, we don’t care,” Michelle countered in a voice softer than earlier when she said that same statement. “Peter, you don’t know how much suffered without you.”
“You didn’t even know me,” Peter shook his head. That pounding pain paused for a second only to return stronger. “I saw you both online. You were so happy without me around.”
“There is such thing as pretending to not worry our parents,” Michelle huffed humorlessly. She leaned forward and touched their foreheads together. “This entire time, Ned and I have felt something was missing from our lives. You don’t know how much we’ve searching for you.”
“You shouldn’t have tried so hard,” Peter said. Against his better judgement, he reached forward and gently wrapped his hands around Michelle’s wrists. “I’m not worth the trouble.”
At that, Michelle sharply jerked his head up so they were eye to eye. Ned tutted in the background. “MJ, be careful with him until I get Dr. Strange here!” Ned scolded her.
“Look at me when I say this,” Michelle started in a firm voice. Her eyes narrowed in a way that Peter always loved. “You will always – and hear me when I say always – be worth it. You are not trouble. You are our Peter and we won’t rest until you’re back in our lives. Not Spider-Man. We want Peter Parker.”
The sob slipped out of his mouth before he could stop it. For too long, he had been pretending that the loneliness wasn’t all encompassing his entire being. That it was Spider-Man that needed to exist, not Peter Parker. No one would care if Peter Parker was around or not.
But it turns out, Peter Parker was still wanted.
“I’m sorry,” Peter sobbed and for the first time in what felt like forever, Peter hugged Michelle. His hands gripped the back of her shirt tightly, the threads threatening to break under his strength. Michelle didn’t care, though, as she hugged Peter as tightly as she could. “I’m so, so sorry. I miss you both so much.”
“We missed you too,” Michelle cried wetly. Peter could hear the heavy sniffles she kept trying to hold back. She adjusted her hold with one hand around his back and the other gently caressing the back of his head, hand buried in his dirty post-patrol hair. “We have a lot to talk about but for now, we’re just happy to have you back.”
Ned kneeled down next to them and placed a hand on Peter’s shoulder, the best he would get for now. He would get his chance to hug his best friend later. “I missed you, buddy.”
Smiling weakly, Peter held a shaky fist out to Ned. His best friend’s eyes grew wet and he held out his own fist. The two of them performed an abbreviated version of their handshake. Michelle smiled at the whole thing, the same handshake that she used to shake her head at.
Peter dropped his hand when he finished and felt himself leaning more against Michelle than he wanted to. He blinked heavily and the room somewhat stopped spinning around. “I missed you both so much,” he repeated his earlier statement.
“And we missed you,” Michelle responded with all the love in her voice. Peter fell completely limp against Michelle and he felt her stiffen up. “Peter? Hey, c’mon, don’t fall asleep yet,” Michelle urged him. He could hear the panic she was trying to push down in her voice.
“Don’t sleep just yet, buddy,” Ned tried. He grabbed Peter by the shoulder and roughly shook him. “Open those eyes again.”
For a moment that she could spare, Michelle glanced at Ned. “ETA?”
“Dr. Strange said he’ll be here in two minutes,” Ned piped in. He kept looking around the room for the start of a portal that the sorcerer would use.
Furrowing his brow, Peter turned his head with great effort and looked at Ned through half-lidded eyes. “Why you callin’ him?” Peter murmured. Distantly, he was unsure how Ned even had Dr. Strange’s number.
“Because someone’s bleeding from their head and tried to deal with it on his own,” Ned huffed, frowning at his best friend like he was scolding a child.
Oh. Right.
The head wound.
Peter had forgotten about that in the rush of trying to hide from Michelle and Ned.
It’s why Peter had even taken his mask off in the alleyway instead of his apartment to begin with. It was a fight that he shouldn’t have gotten hurt in but he did. Peter couldn’t even remember it clearly but he did remember getting bashed in the side of the head. Swinging home, the blood had seeped out and made the inside of the mask stick to his face in an uncomfortable way. Peter had taken his mask off the first chance he had…which was the exact second Michelle and Ned slid into the opening of the alleyway after chasing a swinging injured Spider-Man through the city.
“I’m okay,” Peter mumbled and leaned farther against Michelle. His eyes felt heavy. “I always am.”
“Yeah, not this time, Tiger,” Michelle tutted. “This time, you get to be not okay. We’ll take care of you.”
Ned stood up and shuffled in place. “I’m going to pack up some of his stuff to take with us,” he said before darting off around the dark apartment. Ned made sure to swipe an old bookbag off the ground and stuff Peter’s discarded mask inside of it.
Peter furrowed his brow. “Where am I going?” Peter asked.
“Home, duh,” Michelle said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You think we’re going to leave you to stay here after all that work we put in to find you?”
Peter bit his lip. “I don’t have a home anymore.”
“Wrong,” Michelle said after making a buzzer sound with her mouth. “As long as we’re around, your home is with us.”
Ned came running back into the room, slightly out of breath, with a half-filled bookbag of Peter’s most important possessions. After growing up with Peter, Ned had a good grasp on what his best friend considered important. Though, it wasn’t too hard when the apartment was mostly sparse.
“Alright, I’ve got everything. Now we just wait for Dr. Strange to get us and we can go home when he clears Peter,” Ned said in a rush. He looked around and tapped his foot, frowning. “Where is he?”
“How do you even have his number?” Peter asked. The curiosity of it all was poking at him.
Ned smirked and pulled a sling ring from his pocket for Peter to see. “While the spell might have made us forget you, it couldn’t erase everything from the adventures we went on you,” Ned explained.
“It was our first clue to finding you,” Michelle added. She gently rubbed her thumb on the space behind his ear and Peter melted at the touch – if he could get any more limp. “We knew something was missing and that Spider-Man was involved. Throw that in and we had a hint on where to start.”
“You guys,” Peter huffed and blinked heavily. “What am I going to do with you two?”
“Never try to hide from us again,” Michelle tutted softly. “The three of us – we’re together for life and there is no getting out of it.”
“It’s going to be dangerous,” Peter warned them.
“So is living in New York City but you don’t see us complaining,” Ned said cheekily. He shot Peter a wink. “Besides, I’m sure the Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man would be more efficient with his guy-in-the-chair back in his ear.”
Peter smiled and weakly, closing his eyes but not falling asleep quite yet. His senses pricked at the feeling of magic in the air and knew the sorcerer had arrived. Ned perked up and immediately started to launch into an explanation of how they found Peter to the former brain surgeon. Michelle shuffled him and Peter’s hand that was still gripping the back of her shirt fell away.
Michelle tried to say something to him but the voices around him just faded away to background noise. While they had warned him not to, Peter found himself drifting away to slumber like his body demanded. For the first time since he almost broke the multiverse and had to fix it by making everyone forget him, Peter felt safe.
There, in his girlfriend’s arms with his best friend at his side, made him warm inside. Even having Dr. Strange – who now remembered him from the nightmare on Titan, the final battle where Tony sacrificed himself for everything, and the clashing of universes – remember who he was felt safe.
For too long, Peter had felt scared of going on alone in this world. It was suffocating to only exist as Spider-Man. Every day, Peter would come back to this corner of the world that had forgotten him and nurse wounds – physical and emotional – alone in all meanings of the word.
Now?
Peter was just so happy to not be alone anymore.
And as Peter fully drifted into blissful unconsciousness as Dr. Strange inspected his head injury, Peter knew that he would be fine with Michelle and Ned back with him.