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Alright, they had done it. They found the worst adventure. When Jax stepped through the portal, the last thing he was expecting was a wedding venue. But clearly, Caine had a sense of humor– or whatever passed as one for an AI. Marry off these humans that can’t even bang at the end of the night. Hah.
The rest of the circus members were handling it well enough. Gangle squealed when she saw the massive gazebo that they had all landed in. As soon as their surroundings came into focus, Ragatha was downright giddy, too. She ran over to the group of NPC’s in matching blue dresses and began firing off questions about the wedding. Of course, it just so happened the lucky couple was still up for debate.
“Wait, so you don’t know who’s wedding this is?” Ragatha frowned, her posture slumping.
Pomni’s brow twisted, “Who picked you as their bridesmaids?”
The NPC’s spoke over one another in response, eventually giving some half formed excuse as they walked in the direction of the bar.
Oh? At least there was an open bar. Combine that with the three-tiered chocolate cake and the scattering of oak trees that lined the perimeter, and Jax was starting to come around to this adventure. It looked like the perfect opportunity to sneak off with a drink and some dessert, maybe lounge around in the tree branches like a less-talkative cheshire cat. Maybe he’d even take an extra drink to drop on Gangle as she walked by.
Jax stared at the bar, letting his eyes rest on the liquid being poured into a glass for one of the bridesmaid NPC’s.
“Again?” Pomni asked, her footsteps barely making noise as she ended up at Jax’s side.
Jax peered down at her, “What do you mean again?”
“You could barely hold one drink last time, do you really want to head over to the open bar?”
Jax smiled, “Psh, you calling me a lightweight, Pomni?”
Pomni’s eyes expanded, “Oh my god, please don’t take that as a challenge!”
“Oops! Too late,” Jax called, making use of his larger stride to zip over to the bar faster than Pomni ever could. After shoving past the last of the bridesmaids, he was face to face with the bartender. The very blue bartender. “Hey, uh, Orbsman? Could I get one of… whatever’s your strongest drink?”
Orbsman made a series of unintelligible noises and Jax had to strain to keep his shit-eating grin on his face. After a second, emerald green liquid in a shimmering glass was conjured up for him. It was not worth it to ask questions. He hastily took the drink, giving the bartender a short nod as he turned away.
Jax was now facing Pomni, who had decided to walk the distance over to the bar instead. At the sight of his drink, she let out a bleeped swear, her head shaking incredulously, “Is that absinthe?”
“What?”
Pomni instinctively sniffed his drink, but clearly, she realized how stupid an idea that was a moment too late, her face already close enough to the glass for her to catch a whiff of the fumes.
Jax couldn’t stop himself from chuckling as she recoiled and coughed.
“And you’re still going to drink that?” Pomni just barely forced out, gesturing at her condition, like that was reason enough to not down the thing.
“And I’m still going to drink that,” Jax replied, bringing the glass up to his face. But before he was actually able to consume any, a drawing mannequin NPC grabbed him by the shoulder. Jax nearly jumped a foot in the air.
He used his other hand to try and remove the NPC’s grip, “Uh, excuse me?”
“Dude, you’re on!” the mannequin gestured with his other arm emphatically, pointing his wooden head in the vague direction of the altar, which at this venue was just a floral archway.
Jax and Pomni exchanged a look. “On?” he asked.
“Come on, don’t get all cute on me now! Can’t start the ceremony without the groom,” the mannequin laughed, his eyeless head leaning down to take in Jax’s appearance. “And we definitely can’t start if you aren’t even dressed yet, yeowch!”
“Dressed for what?” Jax gracefully ignored the “yeowch.”
The mannequin sidestepped Jax’s previous discomfort and increased his grip on the arm, “Follow me, I’ll find us a spot where you can change–”
“Hey, hold on. Whatever you think I’m doing, I’m not doing it,” Jax’s voice rose as he tried to fight against the NPC, but the mannequin was too strong. Jax was already being dragged across the venue’s floor.
The NPC continued, unbothered by Jax’s frantic struggle, “Uh, yes you are! I think I’d know the guy that chose me as his man of honor!”
Jax wanted to puke– and that was without him even drinking a drop.
“Wait– Hey!” Jax yelled. “I don’t want to go up there, get someone else!”
At his continued attempts to get away, another mannequin took his other arm. With a deep breath, Jax tried to reason with them, “Hey! Why me? Why not just marry any other two people here?”
The mannequins had dragged him far enough through the gazebo that he had made it back to where the other circus members were standing. Apparently, Jax had been complaining pretty loud, since it looked like everyone else was all caught up.
“Maybe the adventure needs one of us to go up there?” Ragatha suggested.
“Okay? Still, why do I have to do it?”
Gangle brought a ribbon hand up to her chin, “He’s kind of the only one here who could be a groom.”
Jax sputtered, throwing his hands out in exasperation, “Kinger’s right there!”
Kinger looked shocked to be brought into conversation, “Oh, no. I couldn’t.” He placed a hand on his chest, pointing to himself, “I’m already married.”
Pomni, who had just caught up with Jax, seemed to be the only one who that statement didn't confuse.
Still, despite the fact that nobody had a clue what was going on, no one was stepping in to stop this mystery wedding from happening. In fact, not a single other person looked alarmed in the slightest. Zooble even had the gall to look amused.
Which, okay, if this was any other run-of-the-mill adventure inconvenience, that would be irritating– but this was marriage. The ultimate inconvenience. Look, there was a huge difference between throwing someone in a deep fryer and getting married. One of those hurt way less.
And who was he getting married to? An NPC? Was he going to have to kiss one of those wooden faces? Jax nearly choked as the two mannequins dragged him further through the gazebo.
“Hey,” Pomni said, her voice cutting through Jax’s turmoil. She pointed to Jax as she spoke to the mannequins, “Could you give us a minute?”
The mannequins, for a reason beyond Jax’s understanding, actually listened to Pomni. They dropped him, and he landed on the paneled floor with a thud.
Pomni sat on the ground next to him. Jax glared up at her from where he was left lying.
He sighed, “Looks like this is the last conversation I’ll ever have. Better make it count.”
Her mouth ticked up at the end, “So dramatic.”
“I’m never gonna live this down.”
“You will. You definitely will.”
Jax lifted his head off the floor so he could make eye contact, “I dunno, this might be the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“Worse than getting trapped in a family-friendly computer game for eternity?”
“Yes.”
Pomni finally let herself have the giggle she was holding. Her laugh was, unfortunately, infectious. Even though Jax wanted to continue staying bitter on principle, he allowed himself a small snort.
“Think about it,” she started. “Someone getting married is probably how the story of this adventure ends, right?”
“Sure, I can see that.”
“Once we’ve run through the plot Caine’s planned for us, shouldn’t we be good to go back to the circus?”
Jax hummed, head landing on the arm he splayed across the ground. “Yeah. You’re right.”
“So…” Pomni said, drawing the word out enough for Jax to fill in the blanks.
“So, I take one for the team, everyone gets sauced out of their minds during the ceremony, and then we’re all done for the day?”
Pomni gave a small smile, “That’s just what I think.”
“Alright,” Jax decided. “But you owe me one.”
“What did you have in mind?”
Jax stretched, straightening his spine out as he thought. After a moment, he shook his head, “Eh, I’m sure I’ll come up with something.”
He was confident those words from him would cause anyone else to be unsettled, but Pomni looked completely unbothered. It was like she’d forgotten how much of an asshole he could be. He frowned, turning his head away.
And with that, it looked like their time was up. The groomsmen NPC’s walked back to them, getting ready to drag Jax off to prepare for his wedding.
Pomni just smiled at him as she waved. Jax waved back as well as he could.
His groomsmen led him to a small canvas tent a short walk away from the gazebo. Even though the thing looked tiny from the outside, its inside was able to hold stacks of suitcases full of different outfits. Jax was a chronic hoodie wearer (back when he had clothing options, at least) but even he could tell some of the options were not wedding appropriate.
Stepping over some lingerie, he opened up one of the suitcases. It contained a traditional black suit, complete with a white button up shirt and a plain bowtie. A part of him really just wanted to put the outfit on and go. The whole point was to get this event over with, right? So why was he hesitating to try the thing on?
Situated in one corner of the tent was a full length mirror. Jax waved a purple arm, just observing his circus model moving in his reflection. His expression soured, but that was expected. Normal for him, normal for all of them. Nobody, not a single one of them, wanted to be stuck in their circus avatars forever.
So, even though he couldn’t pinpoint why, Jax decided to move onto a different folded outfit he found in one of the other suitcases. It took some rifling through halloween costumes, but he eventually found the white bundle of fabric.
It was still a suit, at least in concept. It had a suit jacket, pants, and a suggested undershirt and tie to pair with it. But the whole outfit just felt… different. It was all white, for one, made of loose, flowy material. Even though Jax was about as boxy and lanky as they came, that wouldn’t be enough to make the outfit look angular or severe on him.
But… Well, there wasn’t any other way to say it, really. The whole outfit looked like it was made out of wedding dress fabric. The undershirt was almost buttery, and the tie had lace sewn overtop of it. They were the softest clothes he’d ever touched.
So without thinking, Jax tried them on.
His pupils were so wide in the mirror, they almost took up all the yellow in his eyes. He felt… it was hard to tell. It felt like he hadn’t had a clear thought in his head since he entered the tent.
Jax… he just didn’t know. Zooble’s mismatched eyes would bug out if he stood at the altar in this suit. Gangle… hell, she was probably already drawing this, wasn’t she? And Ragatha never understood anything he did, what would make this any different?
But what did he think? Jax closed his eyes, and forced himself to keep his breathing even. It was impossible to argue that he wasn’t comfortable. And did he like the outfit? That was easy. Yeah, he did.
And fuck it, this day had gone on long enough. No way was this going to be the worst part of the wedding. The worst part was going to be the stupid drawing mannequins giving drunken maid of honor and best man speeches. And Jax was not going to miss that for the world.
He could just picture Pomni and him wisecracking back and forth, trying to keep their laughs swallowed down but inevitably letting them slip.
Jax kept the white suit on, but he crumpled up the black suit into a ball, taking it with him as he walked back to the gazebo. Right before he crossed the last stretch of grass and trees into the threshold of the venue, Jax tossed the ball of clothing away.
Jax was still fidgeting with the collar of his suit jacket by the time he was brought up to the altar. There were rows of NPC’s, both mannequins and characters from previous adventures, sitting in fold out chairs. On the side he was facing, he couldn’t spot any of the other circus members, but he did find Orbsman chilling in the second row. Did that imply Orbsman was his family? Ew.
Just then, Zooble and Gangle walked over to him from the open bar. The urge to bolt hit him, but Jax was able to fix his face into something like boredom by the time they got close enough to see him.
“Jax,” Zooble said, looking him up and down. For a beat, Jax could almost hear the gears turning in their head, but then the plastic surface of their face relaxed. “You look good.”
“Yeah?” his posture was finally able to untense. He forced some of that easy confidence back in his tone. “Don’t flirt with me in front of your girlfriend, Zoobie.”
A flash of annoyance crossed Zooble’s face, but Gangle didn’t seem to mind. In fact, her comedy mask was filled with a gentle smile. At him. She was smiling at him?
This adventure needed to end yesterday. Pomni had better get here soon. He was quickly forgetting why he was going along with this..
But just as the thought formed, he saw movement coming from the very end of the aisle. Even with Jax squinting, he could barely make out the shape of who was walking down. Well, the two people that were walking down it.
All Jax caught was that his new, soon-to-be lawfully wedded partner was wearing black. Black hair, too. And as they walked close and closer to where he was standing, Jax could feel his eyes expand until they overtook his face.
“Pomni?” he shouted, eyes darting from side to side. Zooble and Gangle had already taken their seats next to a formally-dressed Ragatha. None of them looked shocked in the slightest.
Pomni gave a small wave. She mouthed her words, being too far away for Jax to hear her, “Hey.”
Jax’s mouth was moving on its own. He was shotgunning every word he could think of, most of them being “how” and “what” and “why.”
She walked up the aisle, holding onto Kinger, until she made it to the altar. She took her spot standing right in front of him.
“You look nice,” Pomni told him.
“How are you even…” Jax shook his head, deciding instead to focus on the present. Pomni wasn’t wearing a dress. She was wearing a slick, tailored suit. She looked happy in it.
She shrugged, “They needed someone to marry you off to.”
He raised an eyebrow, “And nobody else wanted to do it?”
“Yep.”
Jax exhaled. Big shock there. But seeing Pomni standing in front of him, out here in this flower-filled gazebo– it was making heat rise to his face. He tried to keep his expression neutral, unbothered, but he had the suspicion that he was doing a bad job.
“You look…” Jax said, his voice ringing out without him giving it permission. Immediately, he regretted opening his mouth, but he couldn’t stuff the words back in. He looked at Pomni again, really taking her in. He shut his eyes and finished, “Really nice.”
“Thanks,” she smiled. Jax hoped the blood rushing to his face wasn’t visible through his character model.
That was when their officiant decided to show up, taking his spot under the archway near them. He blabbed a welcome to everyone that was in attendance, going on about something or other. Jax zoned out through all of it.
But, the word “vows” caught him off guard. His eyes darted to Pomni, who looked slightly taken aback, though her expression was rapidly clearing.
“Vows?” Jax mouthed to her.
“Just go with it,” she mouthed back.
With a deep breath in, Pomni began speaking. Her eyes were staring straight at his, like he was the only person in the gazebo. Jax forced himself to fight his instinct to run, deciding he’d hear what she had to say.
“Jax,” She began. There was a short pause before she continued on. Even though she was trying to play it off like this wedding was no big deal, she must have also felt under pressure, the same as him. Her transparent expression had Jax calming down a little.
“I don’t think I could have come up with something like this,” Pomni gestured vaguely around them. “The circus, I mean. I guess this adventure, too. But I… I never thought I could feel fear this strongly before. Sometimes I wake up here and it hits me that we’re not in the real world and–”
She shook her head, pivoting, “And when things start getting tough, when I really start thinking that I don’t want to keep going– that’s when you show up. You’re always ready to show me some stupid room, rope me into some conversation we’re never gonna reach the conclusion of. You’re always down to hang out and just… exist together. You made what could have been the loneliest experience of my life bearable and–”
She grinned, abashed, “Sorry, I guess what I’m trying to say is– I’m happy you’re here. Every day I wake up and see you, I feel a little less scared. And that means a lot to me.”
There was nothing he could say to that. How was he supposed to match genuine, uncomplicated affection like hers? Pomni– there had to be something up with her. She was treating him like he was some sort of gift, like she actually wanted him around. He got that this was all just an act they had to go along with to finish the adventure, but wasn’t dangling a reality like that in front of him a little cruel? Who knew Pomni had it in her.
She was being way, way too nice. The conclusion that she was lying to him flooded his mind. And Jax wanted so badly to sneer at her, he wanted to say something that would hurt her the same way she was trying to hurt him, but the smallest part of his mind was on a different page.
He knew deep down that Pomni wasn’t like that. There was something about Pomni, some force inside her, that always led her to being her authentic self. Jax was almost jealous. If she had something she wanted to say, she said it. And she didn’t lie.
If she said that he mattered to her, then that was the truth.
Jax rubbed a hand across his face, trying to kick out the tension that made its home there, “You should have gone after me.”
“Oh, yeah?” Pomni’s eyebrows rose.
“There’s no way I can follow that up.”
Pomni tried to shove down a giggle. Jax closed his eyes, centering himself, before he started.
“Pomni, It’s–” he closed his eyes. “It’s hard to find someone that gets your sense of humor. And maybe you don’t share all of it. Like, you can still be a stick in the mud on some things, but to get this close? That’s lucky.”
“What’s more lucky is… uh,” He tried to open his eyes to reach hers, but it was too much. He glanced to the side, “You get it. You get it a little too well. It’s scary. You look me in the eyes and it’s like you see through me. I don’t know when that started to happen or why, but… But I need to thank you for that. I know I can be–”
His ear twitched, “Whatever, you get it.” He paused for a bit to catch his breath before continuing, “You care. Maybe that’s a mistake on your part, probably is, but it…”
And he didn’t know where the burst of courage came from, but he finally willed himself to meet her eyes, “You make me happy, too. It would’ve been so much harder if you’d never showed up here.”
“And you’re cool, and you’re good at playing along with the bit, and you have great taste in movies, and you’re brutal when we play Monopoly, and–”
Jax suddenly glanced out at the audience, remembering that the other circus members were watching.
“Yeah, I’m really happy you’re here.”
Jax bit his cheek and looked down. Pomni’s smile was almost too big for her face. He wondered if that was what he usually looked like.
The two of them kept looking at one another as the officiant spoke again, both of them making silly faces every so often to try and break up the tension. It was either that, or Jax was about to let the waterworks show. He had never cried in his circus avatar, and he did not want to find out what that would look like now.
They both exchanged their ”I do’s” before the officiant finished up, “And by the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.”
“Oh,” Jax said smartly. He looked down at Pomni, who didn’t seem surprised. Right, that was what people did at weddings. Duh.
“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Jax said, quietly enough that no one else could hear.
“Do you want to?”
Jax didn’t have enough shame left to not parrot the words back, “Do you?”
Pomni shrugged, her body relaxed, “Yeah, I do. But it’s no big deal if you don’t want to. I don’t think not kissing at the end makes our digital wedding is invalid. So, no need to worry.”
Jax couldn’t help himself, “Oh, thank god. I didn’t want to lose out on those digital tax benefits.”
“Hah,” Pomni said, crossing her arms playfully. Jax took the smallest step forward, closing the already short distance between them. He brought a hand up to her cheek. Despite the clean, cartoon look of the circus, Pomni’s skin still felt warm.
“Is this okay?” Jax asked.
“Yes,” Pomni said. The two of them kissed to the roar of obnoxious, drunken cheers.
“Wow, never thought I’d be getting hitched to an older woman. How’s it feel to be a cougar, Pomni?” Jax said over his excessively strong beverage. He got the green drink again, despite Pomni’s protests. It was disgusting.
She smirked, “Pffft, based on when you told me you got stuck in here, that would make you, like, three years older than me.” She twirled her cocktail as she made her point. Well, that was if they were counting based off of years passing in the real world, anyway.
“Schrodinger’s agegap,” Jax shrugged, sliding closer across the bar counter so he could lay his head on her shoulder. He was sure the gesture looked awkward from the outside because of their size difference, but it was his wedding day. It didn’t matter what anyone else thought.
Pomni kissed the top of his forehead, ruffling some of the thin fur in the process.