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In the hours before they posted the hard launch video, Dan had, admittedly, spiralled. All he’d been able to think about was how he and Phil might regret it, how the announcement would somehow reawaken those overly speculative tendencies that used to be synonymous with their fandom.
It was ridiculous. He’d been sure he wanted to do it for at least a year. He always second-guessed himself at the last minute. He’d done it before coming out, he’d done it before announcing We’re All Doomed. But he still couldn’t curb the endless doubts that kept flooding his mind. There had been a lot of pacing around the living room, not to mention all the panicked and repeated questions shot in Phil’s direction about whether he was sure they should post the video. Endlessly patient, Phil made sure to remind him why they were doing it every single time.
And, as it turns out, Phil was right. Phil’s always right.
On October 14, Dan wakes up at seven in the morning, a time so early it’s practically unheard of for him. There’s sunlight reflecting through the crack in their curtains, bathing the room in a sort of warm glow, showering it with excitement and possibility.
He gently shifts in bed, turning to look at Phil, whose soft blond hair has become slightly messy, a few loose strands splayed across his forehead. He’s snoring lightly, face serene, his body tucked inwards, and an overwhelming wave of love and adoration crashes over Dan. The best thing that’s come out of all this is that he no longer has to hide when that happens. He can feel that love to its fullest extent. He can wax poetic about Phil on camera and not have to pretend it’s platonic. The two of them are finally free. And now he’s lying in a bed he doesn’t have to act like he doesn't sleep in anymore, staring at the wonderful man he gets to call his boyfriend.
Wait a minute.
They never called it anything. They’d said that themselves, broadcast that statement to the world not even twenty-four hours ago. For all intents and purposes, Phil could technically just be his friend he kisses sometimes. His sixteen-year situationship.
He can’t have that. He can’t stand for it.
Dan takes in Phil’s sleeping, calm, figure one more time. He wishes he didn’t have to wake Phil up—he hates disturbing him, especially when he looks as peaceful as this. But Dan isn’t waiting a second longer. He inches closer to Phil, extending a feather-light finger to tenderly brush the hair out of Phil’s face, leaning forward to press a kiss to his skin.
Phil’s eyes flutter open. He lets out some kind of tired grumble.
“S it morning already?” he mumbles, the blue of his irises peeking out from underneath his eyelids.
“Technically,” Dan says. “It’s, like, seven, I think.”
Phil groans, clearly annoyed. “Why’d you wake me up?”
“Because, Philip Lester, I need to ask you something.”
“Couldn’t have waited a couple hours?” Phil says, agitated, and Dan giggles despite himself. Phil’s oddly endearing when he’s grumpy.
“Nope,” Dan says, popping the p.
“Okay, then,” Phil says, propping himself up and leaning against Dan’s shoulder. “What did you want to ask?”
There’s something unsaid behind his question. The we did something huge last night of it all. Dan knows that Phil is wondering if he’s still second-guessing their decision. But that’s not the case at all.
“Will you be my boyfriend?”
Phil laughs. “What?”
“You heard me.”
“I was under the impression that I already was your boyfriend. We just told the entire internet that.” Phil says it so earnestly that Dan has to stop himself from breaking out into giggles.
“You said it yourself. We’re not technically together. We never labelled this.”
“Dan, I was joking—”
“I know,” Dan says. “Still. I want to be your boyfriend. Partner. Whatever. But I want it to be official.”
“Alright, then,” Phil says. “I would be very happy to be your boyfriend.” He lifts his head, tilting his face up to kiss Dan. It’s quick, chaste, and their lips brush for only a few seconds, but as the warmth of Phil’s hand cupping his cheek lingers on Dan’s face, Dan thinks this is what perfection feels like.
“Now, can I please go back to sleep?”
Dan rolls his eyes. “Oh my god, yes. Fine.”
Just before Phil settles back into bed, Dan adds, with a smirk, “My boyfriend can do anything he wants.”
Phil falls asleep with a smile on his face.