Chapter Text
Wolfram feels like a fool.
Here the blonde lays in the shared bed of his fiancé, idly staring up at the high ceiling lost in thought. The moon shines through the curtains in streaks that fall gently against Wolfram's tensed face. Night has fallen over them for awhile now, but the blonde just couldn’t find it in himself to sleep just yet with his mind swirling with thoughts and emotions, it was impossible. He lets out a heavy breath when emerald eyes fall onto the back of his raven haired companion. Today was the same as normal, but that’s exactly the problem. It’s always been the same. No change, no progress in this cursed relationship. Damn it, a sharp, silent scream claws its way up Wolfram’s throat, trapped behind clenched teeth. His hands curl into the sheets, knuckles paling as frustration coils tighter and tighter inside his chest.
It’s been three years and Yuuri still hasn’t made any progress with them, no intimate touching, no reassurance, no sweet words, no proof at all that the double black has even remotely fallen for him! Wolfram would’ve cut his losses and ended this engagement by now, but Yuuri promised, that was the worst of all. He promised he would try to love him, and Wolfram foolishly believed him. Because they did have their moments, fragile moments where they’ve bathed together, he could still feel those inky hues lingering a little too long on his naked skin, and in the comfort of privacy Wolfram would feel strong hands atop of his own. It’s little moments like those that kept the blonde hopeful, those stolen glances, the light flush on his cheeks when Wolfram gets a little bold.
But none of it ever mattered, because in the light of day Wolfram was practically thrown away, disregarded. Yuuri would be way too friendly with pretty girls, more than he usually is. He would distance himself from Wolfram’s embrace, openly embarrassing him without the knowledge of doing so, that damned idiot. It’s crazy how oblivious he is towards the blonde’s emotions, can’t he see how hurt he is? Did he never notice the wet splotches on Wolfram’s pillow every morning, the frown he wore that showed more than just annoyance, the glossiness in his eyes when it becomes all too much? Apparently not, or worse he just chooses to ignore it. But everyone else isn’t.
Wolfram has been the kingdom’s laughingstock for far too long, his relationship being the main topic of endless gossip. Yuuri has no idea the sacrifices the blonde makes on his reputation, on his pride for this loveless relationship. He has no damn clue the amount of whispers he hears during social events, the insults he has to endure. The pitied glances and giggles. He was reduced to a spectacle! A prince clinging onto a king who does not want him.
Wolfram can feel tears swelling as he remembers that night, goodness, that night. It crashes over him vivid and merciless, it sends him through a loop and even now the blonde still can’t understand what happened. It was another ball they had to attend a month ago, Wolfram didn’t try to take Yuuri’s hand this time to save himself the embarrassment of his fiancé complaining about it in front of everyone. Instead, he isolated himself upstairs, leaning on the railing with wine in hand as he viewed the dancing down below. Wolfram was always led to believe that Yuuri just had trouble getting along romantically with men, that’s fine, at least he’s trying to love Wolfram, at least that’s what he promised. So imagine the surprise, the dread, the betrayal when he spots that king from Small Shimaron taking Yuuri’s hand for a dance, and that dimwit accepting it!
Wolfram could still feel the violent twist of his heart like it was yesterday, he remembered the wine glass shattering in his loose grip and its contents spilling on the floor in a mix of alcohol and glass. He remembers his stomach threatening to regurgitate all the wine he drank at the sight of the men. The way Yuuri looked at him.. And now that he thinks back he should’ve just bent over the railing and let it out, if he was lucky enough maybe it would’ve landed on that damn Saralegui. Instead he ran, legs taking him through the halls, pushing anyone who came in his way, he didn’t care about pride or reputation anymore, let it be damned! He just wanted to hide, running until he found his old bedroom. The weight of his emotions causes him to collapse on the cold wooden floor, he lets out loud, painful tears in the middle of the room, he wraps his arms around his lean frame in a poor attempt to comfort himself as he struggles to keep up with his breath. He just couldn’t understand why.
Saralegui was a man, he thought Yuuri didn’t like men, how was it different with him? He always knew how friendly the double black king was towards him, but he never tried to pay any mind to it because Yuuri. didn’t. like. men. Oh great one, how wrong he was. Was it Wolfram? Was he being too pushy, too annoying for him? He was the prettiest boy in the kingdom. How dare he not fall for me! A choked sob tears from the blonde's throat as he curls into himself, he hates crying, it makes him feel so weak but he just can’t seem to hold it in anymore. All he ever wanted was to be loved. Why was it so hard for his king to do so? To adore him like Wolfram does with him. He was so confused, so sad and devastated. Even if there were no more tears left to shed he continued to whimper as he shook and whined, soon enough he managed to fall asleep, there on the cold floor sad, broken, without anyone but himself.
He can’t do this anymore.
Gently, as to not wake the sleeping king, the prince slips off the bed. Taking slow, careful strides towards their dresser, the blonde retrieves his robe to then sneak out the room without a peep. He needs to walk, and maybe drink, this is all too overwhelming for the soon to be adult mazoku. His emerald colored hues are glossy, blurring his vision annoyingly. Wolfram aggressively rubs his eyes at this, he shouldn’t be crying! Especially not over him. While sneaking around the fiery blonde finally finds an unopened bottle of wine on the dinner table, thinking about it, that was probably set for later in the morning. Whatever, they’ll just replace it anyway, the mazoku needs this now.
Wolfram couldn’t stay still, the halls stretch endlessly as he walks, swallowing mouthful after mouthful until the world dulls at the edges. Some spills down his chin, staining his nightclothes, but he doesn’t care. He downs the bottle of alcohol like he was a stranded man tasting water for the first time. Drinking has always helped him with dealing with his overwhelming emotions. He continues to walk, trusting his legs and shutting off his brain, his body brings him out to the courtyard gazebo, and Wolfram, just like that cursed day, collapses onto the floor, bottle rolling away from his weak grasp, sick with sorrow. He doesn’t scream, nor does he shout, the blonde just lays there as tears stream steadily down his face.
Why was it so hard for Yuuri to reciprocate his feelings, surely it can’t be his looks. He remembers the raven admitting that his beauty is like those of angels, but is even that not enough? Other than that Wolfram is strong, he’s protected his king more than he can remember, it’s something Yuuri appreciates but it is not enough for him to return Wolfram’s love. But what more can he do! What does Saralegui have that he doesn’t? Fingers run through his hair before pulling down on them angrily, maybe he should’ve brought more wine. Wolfram has fallen, he’s fallen so hopelessly, devastatingly in love with his king. But it’s painfully obvious that those feelings will never return, and he is a fool for ignoring that for this long. He knows all this and still, there’s a selfish part of him that wants to cling on, a part of him that tells him to endure all this pain and be happy he’s still your fiancé at all. But how long will it be till Yuuri gets tired of this, of him, when he finally finds someone he actually loves and calls off the engagement, leaving Wolfram in the dust.
The blonde lets out a shaky sigh at the realization, that’s it. He can’t stay here anymore in this hopeless relationship built on false promises, he’s calling off the engagement and leaving for Bielefelt this morning, there’s no way he’s staying at the blood plague castle after he puts his final decision on paper. And surely his uncle wouldn’t mind his presence. He just can’t be around Yuuri after this, seeing him with another that’ll hold his unreachable heart, it’ll be all too painful.
Wolfram’s eyes narrow, right. He’s tired of feeling unlovable, tired of being disregarded and disrespected. He is sick of the damage done on his reputation, sick of crying till there’s no more tears to shed over a man that’ll never share his feelings. Wolfram is done playing at this endless push and pull between him and his king, from now he will take back his pride, his honor, and bring back respect to his name.
Wolfram Von Bielefelt.
With this new found determination the fiery blonde finds the strength to stand up. He wipes away the remaining tears stuck between his long lashes and glares up at the night sky, the moon looks bigger than ever, shining down its gleaming light on the mazoku. It’s still pretty late, Wolfram would have to make haste if he wants to leave the kingdom unnoticed. So he does exactly that, leaving the mostly empty wine bottle discarded on the floor as he speeds out of the gazebo.
Wolfram silently swears to himself, he’ll never let another heartbreak like this fall upon him again.
── .✦
The loud groans of kotsuhizokus outside his window is enough to make the young king stir from his slumber. Yuuri yawns, stretching his arms over his head, eyes remaining closed. This morning is nicer than usual, first of all the raven hasn’t been kicked off his OWN bed onto the cold floor, that is enough of a blessing. But also, he can’t hear Wolfram’s loud, obnoxious snoring next to him. In fact, he blinks an eye to confirm his suspicion, the prince isn’t here at all. How odd, Yuuri thinks to himself, his blonde haired friend was typically the last one to awaken between the two, did he go somewhere? Yuuri doesn’t let it bother him, instead he’s relieved. He smiles wide, cuddling into his big warm blankets, it’s about time he has the bed to himself! Wolfram’s whereabouts where the least of the kings worries, if anything the fiery prince is probably on a walk, he has been doing that lately actually.
Yet, his peace is short lived when Conrart barges in with wide jittering eyes. His body shook and his breath was heavy, it’s obvious that he was just running. It was an unusual look for the typically calm and composed swordsman, it sent the raven an uneasy feeling down his spine as he sat up. “Is Wolfram here?” He spurs out, chocolate hues darting from the bed to around the room.
“Wolfram?” Yuuri questions. “Um, no.. I thought he went on a walk or something.” The young king rubs the back of his head nervously, the blonde’s safety quickly becoming an escalating concern for the man as Conrart’s eyebrows pinch with a sigh.
“So it is true..." The swordsman shuts his eyes closed, bringing a free hand to run down his face.
“What’s true? Conrart you’re really starting to scare me!” What happened with Wolfram? Yuuri just can’t help but worry, especially when the brunette is in such a distressed state. His mind is already littered with thoughts, did the fiery mazoku get kidnapped? No way, he would’ve heard something. Oh God, did he kill someone and ran away to avoid the Maoh’s wrath? Wolf does get angry really easily, but he has more decorum than to kill his enemies, especially now with Yuuri’s leadership. So just what happened to his golden haired companion? In the midst of his worry the young king spots a letter grasped rather tightly in his godfather’s hands, could that be the answer to all his raging questions?
“Conrart, what are you holding?” The raven points towards his clenched hand.
“Your majesty..” The brunette sighs, the hand lingering on his face dropping to his side as he walks, movement taking a pause when he reaches Yuuri’s side of the bed. “I think you should read it yourself.”
A tanned hand reaches up to grab the letter from Conrat's outstretched arm with urgency, upon opening it inky hues widen as he reads through the blonde’s distinct handwriting, mouth agape.
“To his majesty the king, and whomever it may concern.
Today once you find this letter I will already be gone. I, Wolfram Von Bielefelt. Is calling off my engagement with our king and leaving to resign at the Bielefelt lands to serve as a soldier under my uncle, Waltrana von Bielefelt’s command.
Do not ask me to return because I will not.
— Wolfram Von Bielefelt.”
Yuuri stares blankly at the paper before giving it back, he’s stunned for a moment.
“Gone? Wolfram left?”
The raven mutters more to himself than to the other man beside him. His mind swirls, emotions clashing with each other in a confusing mess, their engagement is off? Is this official? Yuuri doesn’t know exactly how to feel, a big part of him is disappointed he won’t get to see the blonde anymore but another, as much as he hates to admit it, relieved that he doesn’t have to fake a relationship. The king winces at his own thoughts, it makes him look so cold! Don’t get him wrong, Wolfram is a great guy and all but, he just can’t be in a relationship with another man! He honestly did try for the sake of the other but Yuuri just can’t seem to see the blonde in that light. He should've broken it up when he could, maybe then Wolf wouldn’t have ran off, but then again he always whined about how big of a hit that would take on his pride! He didn’t want to hurt him..
But that last line, “Do not ask me to return because I will not,” Was he really that angry? Did he do something..? The raven's head bangs with a realization he chooses to ignore.
“Well,” he begins. “At least he’s safe, and with someone we trust.” The young king smiles warmly when inky eyes meet chocolate hues. “If it’s what Wolfram wants then I accept it.”
Conrart nods, “I’ll inform the others and send Lord Von Bielefelt a letter, you should get dressed your majesty.”
“How many times do I have to remind you..” The raven comments playfully.
“Right,” the brunette gives a sad smile. “Yuuri.” Is the last thing he mutters before turning away, walking out the door letter in hand.
Yuuri exhales harshly as he falls backwards into his bed, arms spread out and Wolfram's note replaying in his mind. He’s gonna need some time to get used to the emptiness on his bed from now, his heart squeezes at the thought of Wolfram not being by his side. He won’t be with him as he eats dinner, he won’t be in his office to keep him company as the young king works on signing boring documents. But, at least now Yuuri won’t have to hear all that constant nagging about cheating and whatnot, now he’s free to find a loving girlfriend! It’s a bittersweet feeling.
Yuuri tries to look on the bright side as he jumps off his bed, collecting his formal wear before walking towards his private bath. And now Wolfram can put his full focus on whatever knightly duties he holds at such high regard instead of feeling obligated to stay by the young king, then there’s a voice, “I’m not a knight Yuuri! I’m a soldier, there’s a clear difference you idiotic wimp!” The raven could practically hear the golden boy's insult upon realizing his mistake, Yuuri chuckles fondly, remembering the one time he accidentally insulted the mazokus profession. “In this world, knights are hired by noble men to protect them from inside the castle. Us soldiers do that and more, we go to battle at our masters' will and deal with more legal matters than some common knight!” Wolfram was always so passionate about it, thinking back he can almost see the glimmer of enthusiasm lingering in those big emerald hues that always captured the king’s attention. It was almost..
Yuuri stands in front of the water of his bath after safely setting his clothes to the side, he begins to undress, brain flashing an image of the golden haired man. He paused, the young king actually doesn’t know how to name it.
It was almost what?
Adoring.
The thought appeared before he could stop it. Yuuri bites his lip at this, a slight flush decorating his cheeks, he gulps upon noticing this, quickly, he tries to reason. Yeah, adoring, because he adores his friend's passion for his work! The raven nervously chuckles at himself. Nothing romantic about that, n— not that he was thinking of it romantically! He’s not gay! Yuuri quickly silenced his confusing thoughts by jumping into the pool of water, letting it harshly wash away any forbidden feelings lingering within himself. He needs a distraction. It was nice bathing by himself for once, the young king thinks as he lifts his face so that only his mouth is under the warm water. Typically Wolf would be here, saying something about how it’s normal for fiancé‘s to do this kind of stuff, he doesn’t understand why the man stuck to such formalities but he never complained much anyway. Admittedly it was nice having him near, Yuuri was always bashfully jealous of the blonde’s body, I mean, how could he not? Wolf was lean with outlined muscle from training that was never too toned, his strong, smooth back narrowing down to that small waist, he was the perfect balance of masculine and feminine.
He was beautiful.
It wasn’t weird, anyone with working eyes could see how pretty Wolfram was! The raven shakes his head, why is he thinking about his friend so much right now? He should be rejoicing in his newfound freedom! Yuuri nods at this, smirking excitedly. Right, he’s free, I could bring a girl up here whenever I want! The young king leans up against the wall of his bath with a content sigh, Yuuri can imagine it right now, his arm draped around a nice girl he met at a village, her head tucked under his chin, delicate hand resting against his chest as they talked, long fingers drawing random shapes making him shiver. His lips resting upon the crown of her head for a moment, taking in the aroma of her short blonde locks that smelt gently of honey and vanilla, and her eyes, beautifully green hues that stare at the young king with want and desire, then she would— Wait a minute.
Is the woman he’s imagining actually, WOLFRAM?
He ducks his face back into the water in terror, no way he misses the prince this much. I mean, it’s ridiculous! Yuuri groans, pretending the sensual daydream of his good friend never occurred in his head in the first place. He steps out, drying himself off the raven busies his mind with more important matters, like what’ll be for breakfast and definitely not his feelings for said friend and the conversation they both had that was most likely the reason for why the other left the castle so fast. Yuuri frowns, yeah, he wants that night far farrr away from his acknowledgment.
── .✦
If I said the rest of the morning went smoothly The Great One would probably strike me down for lying. Everyone’s mood was noticeably different, well, with the exception of Günter, he was overly delighted. Yuuri hadn’t realized how Wolfram’s absence would affect everyone, including himself. He first noticed this when he and Conrad were out practicing his pitch, the brunette was unusually distracted, letting the ball run past him without much effort to catch it, something was clearly bothering him and it doesn’t take a genius to guess what it was. Next was when he arrived for breakfast with everyone, there was no bustling conversation between the family like typical, not even laughter, it was eerily silent for the first time ever. But the most prominent was everyone’s body language, Ms. Celi’s eyes were downcast and puffy as she ate, it’s obvious she’s been crying and that knowledge makes Yuuri feel even worse at the situation, guilt clings onto him like a stubborn stain making the raven feel sick, he can’t even bring himself to eat, instead poking and playing with the food in front of him.
The worst was Gwendal, if Yuuri thought the soldier didn’t like him before then he’s sure as hell now. The man’s been glaring at him since breakfast! Yuuri can still feel the murderous intent behind those navy blue hues burning against his skull even now! He couldn’t handle it, everybody looked so miserable and the raven just couldn't help but to blame himself. After excusing himself from the table rather early Yuuri sprinted far in search of his good friend, narrowly escaping a frantic Günter in the process. So here he lays, face smushed against the pillow of the chaise lounge in the middle of Murata's office feeling the guilt eat him alive as the brown eyed sage works on whatever’s important at his desk.
“I hate it Murata, it feels like it’s all my fault..” The raven murmurs into the pillow, refusing to lift his head up, as if to shield himself from the world.
“Well, maybe it is.”
“Hey!” Yuuri quickly looks up, “You’re supposed to be cheering me up, not making me feel worse!”
“Since when was that my obligation?” The sage raises a brow at the other.
“Since you became my friend!”
Murata sighs at that, placing his feather back in the ink before turning to look at the other with a serious expression. Oh, Yuuri didn’t like that very much..
“And as your friend, I should tell you the truth. Right?”
“Well, um, yeah..” The raven answers sheepishly, looking away for a moment trying to avoid the sage’s intense gaze.
“I mean, you’ve been stringing him along for three years now. This was bound to happen anyway, I’m just surprised he was the one to finally end it.” Murata mumbles that last part to himself but Yuuri still caught it, and it makes him groan flopping back onto the chair.
“Man, don't phrase it like that.. You know how precious wolf’s pride is, I just didn’t want to hurt him..”
“And look at how that turned out.” The brow eyed sage snorts which earned him a glare from the young king, but he paid no mind. “You speak of him like he’s your friend when you know he saw you more than that.” Now that makes Yuuri look away with a wince.
“I mean- it’s amazing how oblivious you choose to be, don’t you remember that conversation you two had? He really loved you.”
“Yeah..”
“And you gave him false hope.”
“I know..”
The sage shakes his head chuckling. “I mean, either you really hate him or you’re really deep in denial—“
“I’m not gay Murata.” Yuuri's eyes narrow, quickly growing defensive at his friend’s suggestion. “We’re both guys, it's just— it would have never worked out.” He exhales heavily.
Then you should’ve told him that. The brown eyed sage wants to speak, but he knows this conversation will go in circles if he does, it always does when they talk about the blonde, it was exhausting.
“Okay, then it wouldn’t have.” Murata smiles. “Just be happy you both are free from each other, isn’t that the best outcome?”
Yuuri blinks. “I guess, yeah..” He scratches the back of his neck, feeling somewhat unsatisfied. “It’s just gonna be weird not seeing him around now, especially for his family.” The raven frowns at the thought and the whole reason he came here in the first place, “I hope they don’t resent me over this..”
“I don’t think they’ll hate you over a decision Von Bielefelt made.”
The young king snorts, “Tell that to Gwendal.”
The sage shrugs, putting his focus back on the papers on his desk. “Either way, you’re the king, they’re obligated to like you.”
“Wha— I don’t wanna force it on them!” Yuuri dramatically whines while running his hands over his face, sprawling across his seat. He could be such a child sometimes, Murata rolls his eyes.
“You should probably head back now, unless you want Wolfram's brother to commit treason by actually killing you.”
The raven feels a shiver run down his spine, and with that he stands up to leave after thanking his friend for the time. Not like their conversation helped him out anyway, if anything Yuuri felt even worse as he halfheartedly signs papers. The room lacked an obvious presence that reeked of Gwendal, the man would usually help Yuuri out with papers the young king didn’t have enough willpower to look through. But now, it looks like the older had a petty message to send towards the young king, and well, it was very much received.
Yuuri slumps down in his uncomfortable seat with an irritated groan, staring at the stacks of papers in front of him. All the words just jumble into one confusing mess that he doesn't want to deal with right now. Looking up at the high ceiling of the office he lets his mind drift, he can remember the muffled cries of Ms. Celi when he walked past her room, his heart twists at the memory, right now it feels like the whole family hates him, even Conrad, besides this morning the brunette hasn’t been by his side since. Yuuri runs his hands through his hair before turning to the end of the desk where Wolfram would typically be. The blonde’s voice rings faintly in his head, he would mock him constantly, teasing him about laziness as his brother tried to shield his amusement all the while doing nothing to help the young king, it would drive Yuuri crazy to no end, but now it’s everything he missed.
“Wolf..” he whispers to nobody but himself, feeling his eyes water. “Why did you have to…”
Leave, is left unsaid.
No, is he really blaming his friend right now? After all, Murata's right, I lied to him just to selfishly keep him by my side. Maybe if he tried..
NO! he’d still just be doing both of them a disservice by lying to himself, pretending that he loved him back, Wolf doesn’t deserve that. Passionate, stubborn, loyal Wolfram.. he deserves someone who cares, someone who can return those intense feelings and more. The mazoku deserves to be cherished, loved and held, he needs someone who can handle those fierce outbursts with no problem. Wolfram deserves someone who wasn’t Yuuri, so why does the young king get so bothered when he imagines Wolfram with anyone but him?
He groans loudly before hiding his face in his hands, he really is an asshole isn’t he? Trying to keep a guy he’s not even attracted to stuck next to him like glue, I think I’ll just really miss the attention. Is the excuse Yuuri clings onto and refuses to dig further into, even if his heart aches doing so.
Luckily for him though, the double doors to his office opening served as the perfect distraction.