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When Pearl awoke from her respawn, she found her eyes drawn to the cracks in the wooden ceiling and her limbs unresponsive. The harsh, rickety bed that she had haphazardly constructed dug deep into her stiff back, the thin blanket she had woven was draped over her still form. The reminders of a fresh death itched just under her skin, occasional spikes of pain drawing a twitch out of her fingers. A wave of cold swept in through the open window, moth eaten curtains billowing in its wake.
Pearl felt a shiver run through her, and, finally, she forced her arms to push herself up from her stagnant position. Her scratched, bruised limbs trembled underneath the weight of her heavy heart and she curled her fingers around the sheet underneath her, long nails nearly digging holes into the frail material.
Thick, tangled brunette hair tumbled over her hunched shoulders and fell in front of her eyes, the blonde streaks that she used to adore long ago faded into nothing. As she raised her head, the strands fell away from her face and her vision cleared.
Tilly was sitting next to Pearl’s bed, and a whine issued from her throat, head cocked to the side. Her ears flapped up and down, tail wagging and obsidian eyes expecting.
Pearl held out her hands and in a second Tilly was bounding up onto the bed next to her. Pearl couldn’t stop the small smile from shaping her lips as Tilly pushed her head into her arms, tail thumping against the brittle mattress. Pearl scratched behind Tilly’s ears, the usual unrest inside her body gone for the brief moment of happiness.
That was shattered when her comm pinged and Pearl was brought back to reality. She was on yellow life. Joel and Etho had chased her down after she stole their chestplate and had slaughtered her on the spot.
It wasn’t entirely unwarranted, she would give them that. She didn’t know what was wrong with her. Why did she antagonise them? She knew it would only end with her dead and one step closer to nothingness.
Maybe that was what she wanted. Death. Or maybe it was to get back at Scott. Last green? No, she wasn’t about to grant him that. He didn’t get to be the last anything as long as she was around. He didn’t get to be anything after what he did to her.
Pearl found her eyes drifting to her communicator as it pinged at her again, and heaved a sigh. She would have to go back out there to retrieve her things. That meant having to talk to people. Having to see Scott’s yellow gaze.
Why didn’t Pearl want to see Scott? She should be victorious about this! He was probably devastated that he was yellow so early, before Scar even! So why oh why could Pearl not stand to see Scott’s eyes?? Why couldn’t she even fathom to take in that resentment, that so unusual irritation that would surely be directed at her?
Pearl stood up, her knees creaking and legs aching. Her hand left Tilly, who merely whined and sat up, hopping off the bed and padding her way towards the ladder where she plopped down.
Pearl crouched down next to a chest filled with a random assortment of things, and dug out an iron sword and chestplate. Hopefully she wouldn’t fall victim to a scatter of random mobs on her way there.
Or maybe that would be better if she did. Who knows.
With a reluctance that she felt deep down in her bones, Pearl made her way towards the ladder and began her gradual descent, the rough texture of the rope biting into the calloused flesh of her hands. She found she didn’t mind the sting, reveled in it even. It meant she was alive. It meant Scott felt that same pain.
She reached the bottom and jumped the last couple of rungs, landing firmly on the soft grass. In a second, Tilly was at her side, tail wagging and tongue lolling.
Pearl put a hand on Tilly’s head then turned her gaze towards the entrance to her spindling tower. She walked out through the gap between the cobblestone and was met with the fresh darkness of night.
A cool breeze billowed by her, sending strands of hair flying this way and that. Her cloak swept against the grass, picking up blades and scattering them amongst the wind.
The sky was unusually dark that night. The crescent moon was hidden behind a wall of thick, gray clouds. The stars twinkled out of existence and hid from her gaze, but every now and then, an occasional yellow glitter sparkled in the corner of her eyes. Just out of sight, never wanting to look at her directly and take her for what she was. But always watching.
Pearl began to make her way through the field of grass and weeds, striding through the unlit grounds without fear. If there was any notion of the feeling, she snuffed it out as soundly as the stars above shied away from her eyes.
The creek of old trees above and the crunch of her shoes in the grass was the only thing that occupied the tranquil quiet. Pearl breathed in the silence, savoring the sweet taste of something untainted by the fumbling hands of others. Tilly trodded at her side, and Pearl ran a hand through Tilly’s soft fur, all worries fading into an afterthought at the touch.
As it turned out, the stars weren’t the only thing that was hiding from Pearl that night. Not many mobs accosted her on her way to pick up her fallen items and yet Tilly was still quite content to stay at alert by her side. A stray skeleton did dare to shoot at her, but it was taken down swiftly by a quick dismemberment of the skull from Tilly’s powerful jaws.
Eventually the tower of dirt became clear through the thick branches swaying overhead, and Pearl willed her feet to keep moving despite every instinct screaming at her to turn right back around and retreat back to the comfort of her lonesome. The trees parted, and the sound of voices slowly drifted to Pearl over the wind. Bdubs, Impulse, Grian, Scar, Etho, Joel, Scott–
Pearl hesitated, that strange feeling yet again squeezing her heart into something grotesque. She really didn’t want to have to see Scott.
Tilly nudged Pearl’s hand with her wet nose, dark eyes looking imploringly up at Pearl.
Pearl sighed, scratching the back of Tilly’s ears.
“You’re right,” she murmured, turning to face the last of the line of trees. “I can’t hide forever.”
Steeling herself, Pearl stepped out from the cover of thickets, nails biting into her palms from her clenched fists.
Scott was the first to notice her. He turned briefly, yellow eyes searching, face unreadable.
Pearl stared back, suddenly finding herself frozen to the spot even without the help of her powdered snow.
Soon, others followed Scott’s gaze and Bdubs raised a hand in greeting. He was the only one smiling.
Pearl made her way over to the group, subconsciously withdrawing more and more into her cloak to hide herself from the judging stares.
Blood stained the grass a little ways away, and Pearl found her eyes drawn to the axe gripped tight in Joel’s hand. It too had scarlet painting its edge, slowly dripping into the dirt underfoot.
Pearl stabbed her nails deeper into her palm.
“So, about my stuff,” she began, surprising even herself with the abrupt change in voice. “D’you have it?”
She directed her gaze to Joel and Etho, who shared a look. Joel gave a sympathetic wince, shrugging, while Etho pulled some stuff out of his inventory.
“Well, I’m not sure much survived, Pearl,” Etho said, tossing her a bow and sword. “Must’ve despawned by the time we got to it.”
“Oh, really?” Pearl asked, tilting her head at the pair. “Pity that is.”
“Real shame,” Joel said, flicking his wrist ever so slightly so that the blade of his axe glinted off the torchlight of Bdubs and Impulse’s home. “Shouldn’t have stolen our stuff. That karma’s nasty, isn’t it?”
“Sure is,” Pearl agreed, widening her eyes slightly and tightening her grip around the iron sword that Etho had oh so graciously gifted her. “Why don’t you just give me back my stuff and we can call it even? I stole your chestplate, you killed me. Deal?”
Joel barked a laugh, the dead grass crunching as he took a step towards Pearl. Tilly growled in warning as Joel neared, her back haunches raising.
“Call it even? We’re red, Pearl. Do you really want to die again? We can kill you right now–”
“Joel,” Scott cut in, stepping next to Pearl. “Just relax, okay? Pearl will apologize and you’ll hand her back her armor so she doesn’t die on the way home and then we’ll all be happy. Sounds good?”
Joel opened his mouth for a retort, but Pearl beat him to it. She whipped around to face Scott, shoving him back a couple steps, teeth automatically baring. “I have nothing to apologize for! He’s the one who should be bloody apologizing!”
Scott merely stared at her incredulously, making no move to fight back. “I’m trying to not get killed again, Pearl!” he hissed through a whisper. “I don’t care if you want to throw your life away but I care about mine!”
Pearl reeled back as if Scott had physically struck her. An instinct to flee nearly spurred her legs into action, an instinct to fight nearly sent the sword gripped in her hand into Scott’s chest. Instead she found herself frozen underneath his golden eyes. Like a deer in headlights.
Joel stayed silent throughout this whole interaction, and Pearl barely missed his muttered, “Let’s get out of here, Etho”, before he and his soulbound were suddenly gone.
Grian and Scar had also disappeared, and Bdubs and Impulse had retreated back to their abode. That left only Scott and Pearl alone in the clearing, the tall dirt tower of death blotting out the sliver of moon that peeked through the cover of clouds above.
“Your stuff’s there,” Scott said, his voice returning back to normal albeit a little strained. He crossed his arms and nodded towards the chest that Pearl hadn’t seen behind Joel and Etho.
Pearl slowly followed his gaze, and then, carefully, picked her way over to the chest. She crouched down, cloak pooling beneath her, and pushed open the heavy lid. There wasn’t much left after Joel and Etho had pillaged her things, but it was still quite a lot more than she thought she had.
All of her iron armor was still there, as well as the majority of her iron tools. Most of her food remained, and all of the junk that inhabited her inventory littered the rest of the little area inside the chest.
She pulled everything into her inventory and straightened, still feeling Scott’s narrowed eyes burning holes into her back.
She turned swiftly, and there he was, not having moved an inch since she last laid eyes on him.
“What?” she asked, shifting slightly back and away from his reproachful expression.
He shook his head, looking away, jaw tightening. “Can we go somewhere private to talk?”
“What?” Pearl asked, taking a lofty step towards her soulmate. “You don’t like being seen with me in public?”
Scott scrunched his nose in distaste and strode past her, his haste causing her stray hairs to fly widely. “You know what I mean.”
Pearl shrugged aloofly, taking her time before following Scott at a leisurely pace. Tilly ambled next to her, matching her relaxed walk. Scott glanced back, irritation dancing in his eyes as he waited for her to catch up.
Together they walked through the forest, and when Pearl felt that familiar stinging in her palms, it wasn’t her own nails digging into her flesh that time.
Finally they reached a point Scott apparently deemed to be secluded enough, and he whipped around to face her. She raised a brow at him, waiting for him to start the much needed and loathed conversation.
“Why did you antagonise them? You know how Joel is on his red life! He is completely willing to kill you in a second!”
Pearl shrugged, not quite willing to meet Scott’s eyes. Her hand met Tilly’s soft white fur and her friend in return bumped affectionately against her leg.
“Seemed kind of fun.” She finally forced herself to raise her gaze to Scott’s. “Now I’m even with Tilly! And I got back at you, so, an eye for an eye maybe?”
“An eye for an–I didn’t kill you, Pearl!”
“You might as well have!” Pearl felt her voice raise in volume at this, and she made no move to stop it. “You destroyed me, Scott! All for what? Cleo!?”
“Pearl, I–”
“Martyn too! I mean, I didn’t realize I was that terrible of a person to be around!”
“You abandoned me!” Scott exclaimed, cutting her off and taking a step towards her. A warning issued from Tilly’s throat. “I searched the whole server for my soulmate, and you didn’t even try!”
Pearl shook her head, scoffing lightly, taking a step back in turn of Scott’s advance. “No, no–stop trying to twist this! You abandoned me! The second you realized we were bound you took off with Cleo. And Martyn–Martyn would rather be alone than partner with me!”
“That’s only because you refuse to listen to anybody, Pearl! We could have worked this out but you decided to go off on your own in your tower and get yourself killed!”
“I didn’t get myself killed! That was as much your fault as mine!”
“You were the one that stole their chestplates and was antagonizing them that whole time! You knew full well how that would end!”
“I–I–” Pearl found herself at a loss for words. They tangled in her throat and choked the oxygen from her lungs. Her chest tightened until it was almost unbearable, heart constricting into nothing but a small ball of flesh. Pain roiled in her stomach and the small amount of food in her stomach threatened to climb up her trachea. “You–”
“You’re the problem here, Pearl! It’s you, it’s always been you!”
“No, no you DON’T UNDERSTAND–”
“Cleo was right, I should’ve never–”
Pearl was standing in front of Scott in a flash, sword raised to his throat. Her breaths came out as pants. The sword shook from her death grip on the hilt. Scott stilled, yellow eyes widened at the blade grazing his neck.
“Should have never what?” Pearl asked in a whisper, pressing the sword harder into Scott’s skin. A silent threat dripped from her voice that was haltingly clear in the quiet of the clearing. Pearl knew she wouldn’t hesitate to take them both down to their last life. Scott knew it too.
A sting on her own neck, and a droplet of blood beaded on the edge of the sword.
Scott steadily met her gaze, raising his head slightly. “Put the sword down, Pearl.”
“What? You don’t think I can do it? You don’t think I can take us both down to red!?” She laughed, and what came out of her own mouth almost scared her. “I’ve been red, Scott! Since you left me to die, since you abandoned me and forgot about all we went through last game! Since you become a double act! What happened to the Three G’s, huh? WHAT MADE YOU DETEST ME SO MUCH THAT I WAS SUCH A REVULSION TO YOU THAT YOU WOULD LEAVE ME TO–”
Pearl was cut off with a gasp. A sharp pain blossomed in her chest, and she dropped the sword away from Scott’s neck. She stumbled back, trembling hands coming to cup the blade stabbed clean through her heart. Her own sword clattered harmlessly to the soft grass below that was now dotted with fresh droplets of red. Blood freely soaked into her maroon cloak, staining it an even deeper scarlet. She could taste metal in her mouth, could feel the blood climbing and clogging her trachea until she could barely breathe. She raised her gaze to Scott’s, who seemed equally as shocked as she was.
All strength in her legs suddenly floated away, and her knees buckled beneath her weight. She collapsed into Scott, who in turn fell to the ground, and the two hit the grass hard in a crumpled heap.
Pearl coughed, blood flecking her lips and bubbling in her throat. Her head had landed on Scott’s chest, and she could vaguely hear the dim beating of his own heart in her ears. It was slowing, growing weak and faint.
Scott had just killed her.
That was the last thought she had before everything went dark and the sound of Scott’s heart was gone from the world.
–
When Pearl woke, it was to silence. She shivered as a cool breeze passed by, flinging her hair into her eyes. The grass beneath her tangled between her fingers, pricking her face as she turned her head–
Pearl wasn’t in her tower. She sat up abruptly, blades of grass falling from where they had stuck to her cheek. She was at spawn, the thick trunks of surrounding trees looming towards her.
A little ways away, Scott was standing up, brushing stray weeds from his pants. Pearl turned her gaze to him. Scott turned away. He didn’t say anything as he strode past her, but Pearl caught a glimpse of his ruby red eyes.
In a sudden burst of realization, that certain feeling of bloodlust began to itch beneath her skin. She shivered again underneath the weight of the burden of being red, and stood up, suddenly feeling obliged to follow wherever Scott was going.
Like a kicked dog.
He strode through the empty woods, and Pearl had to rush a bit to catch up. Her cloak swished in her wake, the tears in the hem catching on the brambles and vines slivering around the bases of oaks. Darkness encroached the pair on all sides. It reached its spindling hands towards Pearl; shadows grasped at her feet and tried to drag her into their depths. She almost let them. Then she would finally be able to sleep again.
Instead, she kept her gaze firmly set on the bright cyan that didn’t belong in the gloomy forest and forged ahead, quickening her pace to keep up with her soulbound.
Eventually the trees parted and made way for a vast area of grass and occasional flowers in various states of decay. Pearl’s crooked tower loomed in the distance, perspective warping it as if it was curled over the moon, the warm, glowing windows mimicking the hidden stars.
Scott stopped in the grass a little ways ahead of Pearl and sat down, automatically drawing his knees up and hunching his back. Pearl stared at him for a moment before plopping herself down in the soft grass and outstretching her long, bruised legs. She braced her hands behind her and ran her palms over the grass, the individual blades tickling her palms.
Scott said nothing and the silence lingered between the two. Pearl didn’t mind the silence. She really wasn’t one for confrontation, or conversation in general, so silence was something of a comfort. It meant that both parties were in the same boat.
They both had so much to say but so little words to say it.
The moon peeked out from where it was covered behind the wall of gray clouds. Pearl found her eyes drawn to it like they usually were.
She wished that she could go there, someday. Just unfurl her wings and live there in solitude and peace for the rest of time.
She sighed and curled her fingers into her palm, tearing off a handful of grass and scattering it about in the wind.
“Did that make you feel better?” Pearl finally asked, the question burning on the tip of her tongue.
A long moment passed between them when Scott said nothing in response. Pearl didn’t know if she really expected him to, but it came as a slight disappointment when he held his tongue.
When Pearl was sure Scott wasn’t going to answer, he spoke.
“No.”
Pearl tilted her head at his back, considering her next words.
“Would you do it again?”
A beat.
“No.”
Satisfied, Pearl turned her gaze back to the moon.
“Would you?”
Scott’s question took her by surprise. She really hadn’t expected him to say any more.
“No,” she finally decided, not looking away from the silver orb in the sky. “I don’t think I would.”
Scott didn’t say anything more. Pearl was perfectly content with that.
The two sat in silence for what felt like hours–maybe it was–but Pearl found she didn’t quite mind the wordless companionship. Despite it being Scott, despite everything that he had done to her and all she had done to him, it felt quite nice to not be alone for a change. Maybe Pearl didn’t want to live alone on the moon after all.
As she watched the night sky, the clouds slowly began to shift, and the golden yellow of stars began to flicker in and out of visibility. They danced and sang, spinning round and round the moon and intertwining with her celestial light.
Maybe this wasn’t so bad.
Maybe Pearl would eventually find it in her heart to forgive Scott Smajor. After all, the moon would be nothing without all the stars in the solar system. It would just be a floating rock.
For the first time in a while, Pearl felt not a deep chill that got beneath her skin and froze her bones, but a gradual feeling of warmth that spread throughout her entire body, head to toes.
For the first time in a while, Pearl felt a flicker of something akin to happiness.