Chapter Text
(8:46 pm)
Waffles or pancakes
okay?? waffles
ur on a team w someone for 5 years and u think u know them ..
(8:57 pm)
but the whole time you’ve been concealing ur traitorous heart..
waffles….
w a f f l e s
…
blasphemy
i’m disappointed in u
(9:01 pm)
okay first of all i wasn’t about to get into this right now but Who ARE You?
obviously waffles are superior
evidence #1: when the butter melts into the little squares and you get magnificent golden pools of heaven
can your limp, soggy dough circles do that?
hell no they can’t
evidence #2: crispiness, when you toast a waffle long enough the edges get nice and brown and add that delightful crunchy texture to your meal
since pancakes are merely shapeless blobs, this is not possible for them
i’m sorry you’re so deep in denial
i don’t make the rules
W T F
pancakes are FLUFFY and DELIGHTFUL and most important of all, they are STACKABLE
i rest my case
also those nice drips of syrup down the sides and u can add stuff like chocolate chips
chocoLATE CHIPS YOU HEATHEN
you’re the heathen if you like getting your face and hands all sticky as you cram your face with bland limp breakfast foods
(9:15 pm)
i only cram my face with tasteful & firm things thx ;)
disgusting
NOT AS DISGUSTING AS WAFFLES!!!!!?!!!!
(10:15 pm)
Pancakes are iconic jsyk..
They’ve become a literal art form..
[image enclosed]
No one makes waffle art that would just suck
I literally can’t believe that they desecrated Yoda like this
are u mocking my literalness?
literally no i am not
Being immortalized in delicious, soft, perfect flapjack form is an HONOR
Make me a waffle Yoda and then I’ll consider your argument..
one day you will see the error of your ways my young Padawan
anyways i have to study chem cya stranger
Since when do u study chem, ur a lit major lmao
(11:25 pm)
wait who is this
Makki?
nope, Kuroo
so who is the mysterious and enigmatic pancake fanatic i’ve been texting?
Well kuro chan u still owe me a waffle yoda js
Oikawa Tooru btw
hmu on insta ☆ ~ (ゝ ∀ ・)
w o w
kids these days
no respect
do you always bug strangers to follow you on instagram?
(11:50 pm)
Well it’s really ur loss if u choose to deny yourself the radiant beauty of my my face, kuro chan but its w/e
but srsly i’m trying to beat my kouhai’s follower count
Anyway “kids these days”
what r u? a grandpa? cmon kuro chan..
pls don’t beat me up w ur cane if u see me in the streets
this is why you don’t give out your personal information to strangers
they might be cane-wielding creepy old men
also i’m not gonna look you up
Whaaattt no!! I can’t let tobio chan win, he doesn’t even have to TRY and people flock to his dumb adorable face
i bet you’re one of those people whose snapchat stories are full of selfies
…
HOWEVER if you choose to rescind your previous statements about superior breakfast foods i might be more interested in helping you out
..js
How devious of you kuro chan..
But i’m not that cheap, you’ll have to try a little harder to win me over..
I was expecting this. i knew that trying to win over a deranged pancake fanatic wouldn’t be easy.
Are u sure ur not an old man Kuro chan? u talk like a super mislead Bond villain..
or just a nerd..
(12:09 am)
Nah i’m 19
Chem major, thus the studying
anyway i have two exams tomorrow so gn
Ooh so you’re a mad scientist then!! So i was right, ur a supervillain and a nerd. Have u ever blown anything up?
Wait don’t answer tht, sleep tight 4 ur exams
(4:05 pm)
So Kuro chan..
what’s ur super villain name
i promise, scout’s honor i won’t tell the press
that’s a tough one
hmm
If i had to pick… Black Cat probably
how intriguing, any reason why particularly?
because cats are awesome? and black cats are considered bad luck?
ah clever!
i mean my friend’s cat tried to suffocate him in his sleep once so that’s pretty sinister..
my kitten tried to eat my leg once so i can sympathize
she also murdered my plant
U have a kitten??
Yes! My friend named her Rin and she loves chewing on my textbooks.
Ohh yeah ab that.. How did ur exams go?
The bonus question was:
Are you full of beryllium, gold, and titanium?
What does that mean?
because you are Be Au Ti full
i think the professor was trying to be motivational
Kuro chan i think this is ur greatest weapon.. terrible pick up lines..
i’d be careful if I were you Oikawa, know why?
What have i done..
because I got my ion you
The Absolute Worst
ur such a nerd
…
Are u from outer space?
no
Because ur ass is out of this world..
you better fucking believe it is ;)
Also: 6/10, a classic but you could improve on originality
Stop trying 2 seduce me kuro chan it won’t work. Ik u haven’t followed me yet.
Ya ya whatever
anyway, what do you study?
Guess!!
Um i have no idea? You study..
Instagram thirst? Breakfast politics? Arguing with strangers?
How creative, but no..
Astronomy
Oh so can you tell me my horoscope?
…
i’m a Scorpio
ughhhhhh ffs that’s astroLOGY
ur a nerd too kuro chan, u should respect ur fellow sciences
ik ik I’m just messing with you
why..
have u forsaken me..
of course a scorpio would b like this
what’s that supposed to mean?
(4:45 pm)
nothing :*
Godzilla vs aliens?
Aliens, obviously.
oh thank god..
kuro chan are u a believer
Are you asking as a government spy trying to hunt down people who know too much?
Or as a friendly extraterrestrial lifeform trying to make contact with humans?
i belong among the stars kuro chan it’s true…
i AM a star
i should have been born an alien
Who knew aliens were so obsessed with breakfast and selfies.
Well i guess it’s my duty to share my otherworldly beauty
I’m not buying it
I think this is all part of your scheme to brainwash everyone into helping you take over the world
I’m shocked, how could you think so little of me
Well you did just get into a fight with a stranger about pancakes
Kuro chan are u ever going to let that go?
Hmmmm let me think…
nah
not until you realize the errors of your ways at least
Well I can tell u now that that’s never going to happen
You are in the wrong here Kuro chan and I think that it’s time for you to stop running from the truth
clearly we are never going to agree on this
Clearly…
not opaquely
Kuro chan.. (￣ヘ￣)
ok ok but really i have to ask
who did you think you were texting originally
..and dare i ask why?
I was texting my friend Makki
He was supposed 2 b the tiebreaker in an argument I was having with my other friend,,
I think he just disagrees with me out of habit tbh
ANYWAY thank u for reminding me that I totally forgot to ask Makki after texting u
I know he’ll back me up on this
wild
IK, I mean, I knew it was gonna b godzilla
he has a godzilla phone case ffs
But now he’s all like “peanut butter is better with chocolate than mint”
“waffles r better than pancakes”
?? and I just can’t stand for that u know
wow
oh hey Rin just climbed onto my face and is demanding food sorry i gtg
(6:15 pm)
Don’t apologize!! It’s important for growing kittens to get proper nutrition (♡ﾟ▽ﾟ♡)
Good 4 u, bein a responsible cat parent n all
(8:07 pm)
i try but she’s a handful
i told you about the plant right?
also there was the attempted murder of my favorite mug but i caught it in time
Fast reflexes!!
ya
i do play volleyball so i guess that gives me an edge
WHAAAATTTTT!!??
No wayyy
Me too!
.. or well, i used to
No kidding!!!
what position?
How forward of you
ヽ(¯ロ¯" ヽ)
I’m sorry
It’s a bad habit from texting freaking Makki all of the time
…
… …
where oh where did the sweet and demure oikawa-san go?
i’m so embarrassed rn kuro chan don’t mock me
Years off my life
I don’t feel like I’m just texting some random w u tho so take some responsibility
Luring me into a false sense of security
jkhdjfs I’ll stop bye
i know what will make you feel better!!
[picture]
rin has no concept of shame and is incapable of judgement, so she will support you in this time of need
look at her tiny feet, so small and soft yet capable of such great destruction
Wow
Kuro chan u were right that cheered me up right away!
She is truly an inspiration, so adorable yet fearsome ^^
whenever i get stressed i think,
what would rin do?
although the answer is usually either sulk or scratch
probably why i have so many problems, now that i think about it..
Omg
(10:34 am)
hey
where is everyone’s favorite incredibly corny megalomaniacal alien overlord nerd
you never told me what position ;) you played in volleyball
Omg
Kuro chan I’m flattered,, mostly..
I was a setter, and I was team captain in 3rd yr
the fact that you were mostly flattered by that
but also wow! the coincidences keep piling up
i was team captain too, but a middle blocker
Everyone’s favorite, incredible, alien, overlord, nerd
You’ve captured my character so well
well if you look back my exact words were ‘incredibly corny megalomaniac’
but see what you want to see
u don’t have to hide your true feelings, your words will always warm my heart <3
lol i can’t believe u were a team captain too! where did u go to high school?
tokyo! what about you?
Ahh, so we wouldn’t have met then
My school was in Miyagi
We didn’t make it to nationals
actually i forgot until now but you mentioned a kouhai
named tobio chan?
bc i knew a tobio from miyagi
Ugh don’t get me started
Kageyama Tobio, he ended up at Karasuno
Dark hair, annoying but cute face?
yeah!!! that’s the one, i know exactly who you’re talking about
Talking about him gives me migraines..
okay well
oh hang on a sec i have some cupcakes in the oven that need to come out!
Cupcakes??
(11:46 am)
they’re honey cinnamon
i was going for something that would be good with apple pie
i’m practicing for a birthday
I’m intrigued, ur a baker too?
That sounds delicious tho!
disclaimer: i am a man of many skills
and many secrets ;)
(๑`^´๑)
Kuro chan is the winky face the only emoji u know?
(Wㅅㅇ)ฅ
don’t underestimate me
