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His second year at Jujutsu High had not been going well. Suguru was feeling unlike himself after the incident with Riko Amani. That day was seared into his memory; the sound of her hitting the floor, the smile on her face as she died. She was only 14. She hadn’t even gotten to taste life, she had so much potential. He hadn’t been able to move past his heartbreak for her.
He feels like everything he does is futile and useless, like death, suffering, and misery are endemic to mankind, and there is nothing he can do about it. He feels like his efforts are wasted on the ungrateful ignorant masses, who eventually will suffer and die regardless of what he does.
Then Yuki Tsukumo smashed what was left of his heart by declaring Amani’s death meaningless, suggesting another Star Plasma vessel must have already been born. She didn’t care. Her statement revealed that the girl’s life was of no concern to her. It revealed her callousness. Was this what it meant to be a sorcerer? To be cold and detached from the lives that suffer and die in the name of jujutsu?
Then Haibara died.
Suguru was crushed. Yu was a ray of sunshine in the gloomy world of Jujutsu. Suguru felt the crippling weight of his death in his bones. He stopped eating, sleep became elusive, and going on missions was the last thing he could stomach. The vile oil slick of curses on his tongue was the only thing he could taste. His hair grew ragged and dull. He withdrew. He protected what was left of his heart by hiding from those he cared for.
One night Satoru had returned from a long mission and discovered Suguru crying in the shower. Suguru had a particularly rough evening, he’d been alone, haunted by the anger and helplessness he’d been feeling lately. His emotions overflowed in the shower, tears mixed with water that was beginning to run cold.
He didn’t notice Satoru coming in until he was right next to him. Satoru pulled him from the water, wrapped him in a towel, and took him to his room, refusing Suguru’s angry requests to be left alone. Satoru called Shoko that night and Suguru ended up being smothered by the two of them, quite literally. He resisted their efforts at first, but the pair was relentless with their care. He begrudgingly listened to them and stopped trying to get them to leave him alone. They all slept together in Satoru’s room that night. It wasn’t comfortable but it was exactly what he needed.
He needed to feel like something matters. He needed to feel like he’s a part of something bigger than himself. He needed to feel like his life had value. He needed to feel loved.
After that night, Suguru allowed himself to be helped. He’d eat when they brought him food, bathe when Satoru dragged him to the showers, and he’d leave his room to visit Shoko when she demanded it. Gradually, the sting of sorrow lessened. He found comfort in those that cared for him, he allowed their affections to soothe his raw nerves. He still struggled, but he ended his second year at JJH feeling a bit like himself again, with two best friends by his side.
—
They were starting their third year, and Satoru had a plan for this year’s missions. Suguru still isn’t sure how Satoru did it, but he managed to convince the higher ups to allow him to work with a partner on missions this school year. He told Suguru that he just felt better about difficult missions when he was with a partner, like he actually really needed backup. Suguru knew that this was bullshit. Satoru could handle nearly any curse with his pinky finger alone, the last thing he needed was help. But Suguru went along with it, acting as if his partnership would somehow add value to what Satoru brought to the table.
To the higher ups, Satoru tried to make it sound like any partner would do, but he had a plan to persuade them to choose Suguru. He suggested him as his partner, citing his professionalism and responsible nature as a good foil for Satoru’s attitude and destructive tendencies. It helped that Suguru was known for being respectful to the higher ups and his mission reports were always completed as required and on time. So they agreed and assigned the pair their first mission as a duo during a hot September Day.
The mission finds them heading into the heart of the city. It’s hot. The pavement reflects the heat back at them makes them sweat. Their polyester uniforms trap the heat. The air is thick with humidity, a sweltering blanket covering the city.
A grade one curse has been seen around town, skulking in alleys and hiding behind dumpsters. Two people have gone missing. One worked at a local restaurant and disappeared after leaving for a smoke break. The other vanished after heading outside to take out the trash.
They begin their search, starting at the block where the first suspected victim worked. They interview locals and discover rumors about a horrific scraping heard at night. A metallic sound, like metal dragging on the road. They report a putrid stench accompanying the noise. All the witnesses report these occurrences happening only at night. The boys decide to return that evening after grabbing some dinner.
When night falls, the pair begins their hunt.
“I bet you three thousand yen that I find it first,” Satoru says as he surveys the area.
“It doesn’t matter who finds it first, it matters who kills it first,” Suguru hushes Satoru, “I think I hear something.”
“I think I smell something,” Satoru sticks out his tongue and gags exaggeratedly.
“Shhh, stop being a child,” Suguru puts his hand up, “I think it’s coming.” He readies his curses, they roil inside of him, eager to fight.
A wet scraping sound fills their ears as the stench of rotten garbage assaults their noses. From the alley a dark figure emerges, it staggers towards them, goop dripping from its limbs and splattering onto the ground. Its body looks to be made of garbage in varying states of decay. It’s disgusting.
It sees them, and speaks in a warbled gravelly voice, pointing its finger at the boys, “Throw it away! Burn the trash!”
It lunges at Satoru, he laughs as he steps out of its path, narrowly avoiding stray splatters of trash goop. The curse staggers around, lunging for the young sorcerers haphazardly; they easily dodge its mediocre attempts at attack.
“Why’d they send US for this sorry excuse for a curse?” Satoru steps to the left of a swinging trash covered arm.
“I don’t know, let’s kill it now, come on,” Suguru summons his inventory worm curse, and pulls a large knife from its mouth. He swings his weapon and severs the creature’s head, it lands on the ground with a wet thump. The stench intensifies.
“God, this is nasty,” Suguru groans, “I’m not absorbing this one.”
“I don’t blame you. Plus it was weak anyways. Wanna go get some soba?” Satoru pulls his hands above his head, groaning with the stretch.
The pair begins to walk away, but they stop abruptly when they hear a familiar wet scraping sound. They turn around, and see the curse’s head and body convulsing on the ground. A scratchy moan garbled with slime fills the air as one monster now becomes two. The bodies quickly rebuilding themselves inch by putrid inch.
“Well shit,” Satoru deadpans. He then uses his infinity to lift the two of them off the ground and out of harms way for the moment.
“Looks like we need a different strategy. Here, I’ll see if I can lead them into the open. You hit them with Purple as soon as I’m out of the way. Doing it in the open will prevent unnecessary property damage.”
“Suguru, you’re so professional, such a model sorcerer,” Satoru teases.
“One of us has to be,” Suguru jumps down and approaches the now fully restored garbage curse twins. They immediately charge after him, he runs into the street, Satoru lowers himself to the ground silently behind them. He then readies Purple, aims, and shoots the ball of energy at the curses, causing them to literally explode.
One thing the boys forgot to account for was their proximity to the exploding trash curses, resulting in them being covered head to toe in rancid slime. Suguru, with brown goop dripping from his normally pristine uniform, stares blankly at Satoru.
Satoru wipes goop off of his face, his uniform is also soaked with vile sludge. He looks at an unamused and throughly soaked Suguru, he can’t suppress his grin, “oops, my bad.”
—
They arrive back at the dorms after ruining the backseat of their handler’s black sedan with their slimy, stinking, goop covered bodies. Suguru apologizes to the driver on their behalf as Satoru shouts a quick “thanks” on his way out the door.
They immediately head to the showers together, a new routine since they began working as a duo. It’s a whole wall of showers but for some reason Satoru always picks the shower head right next to Suguru. Eyes stay above the waist, and they don’t touch, but the proximity gets to Suguru. He aches to reach out, to stare unabashedly, to touch softly.
“I don’t think my soap is strong enough to wash this stench off me,” Satoru whines.
“It’s your fault you know,” Suguru hands him his own soap to use. “Why’d you make that Purple so big? You could have killed them with half as much power.”
“I dunno,” Satoru sounds pensive, “I guess I’m still fine tuning it. I’m sorry Suguru.” He closes his eyes as he rinses his hair in the steaming water. Suguru watches him, his eyes follow the water as it glides down Satoru’s throat. His pale skin has gone rosy in the heat, he’s unfairly beautiful.
“Why are you staring, Suguru? Do you think I’m pretty or something?” Satoru keeps his eyes closed but he grins widely.
“You already know you’re pretty,” Suguru doesn’t avert his gaze, he’s already been caught so he might as well indulge.
“Yeah, but do YOU think I’m pretty?”
“Shut up Satoru.”
“That means yes!,” Satoru laughs, opens his eyes, smiles at Suguru, “It’s okay, I think you’re pretty too.”
Suguru’s blush thankfully goes unnoticed in the steaming shower. They finish showering in comfortable quiet. They dry off side by side. It’s time for them to part ways, towels wrapped around their waists.
“Goodnight Satoru,” Suguru makes eye contact with sparkling blue. He wants to say more, so much more.
“Goodnight Suguru,” Satoru’s gaze doesn’t waver.
Suguru wants to reach out to him, to embrace him, to kiss him, anything really. He yearns to feel Satoru under his fingertips, but he won’t do it. If Satoru wanted that, he’d do it; he always takes what he wants. Since he hadn’t yet, it meant he didn’t want to. So Suguru controls himself.
That’s why it’s such a surprise when Satoru reaches out to pull him into an embrace. Suguru melts instantly. They stand together, arms wrapped around one another, breathing each other in.
Moments pass.
Satoru’s hold loosens, he clears his throat. Suguru reluctantly drops his hands back to his side. They avoid each other’s gaze.
“Goodnight, again,” Satoru speaks gently.
Suguru smiles softly, “goodnight,” then he turns to head to his room before he combusts.
—
Their next mission is a few weeks later. Being 3rd years meant they still had a lot of schoolwork to do, so their missions were never back to back. Suguru felt ready for the challenge. Being a jujutsu sorcerer was supposed to be exciting, killing curses was invigorating.
This hunt found them at a local college campus. They’d spent the day canvassing the campus, interviewing students, and learning about two female students that had gone missing. First one, then a week later another.
The local police had investigated the first disappearance but it’d been two weeks, and the only thing they know is that she had walked through the campus jogging path at one point on her journey. They’d increased patrols, placing more officers in the area at night, but still another girl went missing right under their noses, on that same jogging path.
The boys split up. Satoru went to search the north end of the jogging path and Suguru went to the south. It was a long path, and they needed to cover a lot of ground. They had to be inconspicuous, this was an active college campus and students used the path to travel between the dorms and the school. It was imperative that they find and destroy the curse responsible as quickly as they could.
Suguru is searching, feeling for the cursed energy he senses coming from close by, when he hears a frightened gasp from around the next corner. He runs.
As he round the corner he sees a beastly bipedal curse, its contorted face with its gaping maw turns towards Suguru. In its hands is a girl, trying to scream but her mouth is covered by a gruesome purple hand. She’s still alive! Suguru knows he can save her.
He summons a lumbering giant of a curse; its massive fists and thunderous breathing announce its arrival. The enemy curse throws the girl to the ground where she lands with a sickening thump. Suguru runs to her aid as his curse begins its assault on the campus curse.
He takes a second to shoot out five glowing squid straight up, a signal to Satoru. He holds the girl’s body in his hands, she’s breathing but unconscious. He hears a tremendous crunching noise, he looks up to see his curse being torn in two by the campus curse.
He lays the girl down and jumps away from her, trying to draw the curse away from its desired victim. He summons another curse and readies for a fight. The campus curse is strong, it manages to grab his curse and bite off its head in one horrific chomp. It lunges at Suguru, pushing him to the ground with its beastly arms and sharp claws. It leans its body weight onto his chest, pinning him to the ground, stifling his breathing. The curse salivates, some dripping from its mouth onto Suguru.
Then the girl moans, she’s injured and waking up. The curse grins and turns its head towards the girl. Before Suguru can think, the curse runs towards her once more.
Suguru scrambles to his feet just in time to see the campus curse bite into her throat, he shouts out. Satoru teleports in just at this moment. He uses a controlled Purple to blow a hole through the curse’s head, immediately ending its assault on the girl.
Suguru runs to her, with Satoru not far behind. He kneels by her side and lifts her head. Her eyes are open, she’s not breathing. Her throat is a gruesome mess. She’s dead.
Suguru’s vision narrows. His heart is pounding in his ears. His eyes burn with the need to cry. Distantly in the background, almost as if under water, he can hear Satoru on the phone with their handler.
Suguru can’t speak.
They end up back at the dorms. Suguru doesn’t know how they got there. Time is a blur.
He keeps seeing her face. He sees her face and he sees another face; another girl who lost her life in front of him. He feels tears run down his cheeks.
“Hey, we’re gonna take a shower,” Satoru’s gentle voice breaks through the fog around Suguru. “You gotta get undressed, I’ll start the water.”
Suguru just stands there and watches him turn on two shower heads. Satoru turns back to look at him, concern on his face. Suguru feels more tears make their way out of his eyes.
Satoru comes back to him. Helps him undress. Pulls him over to the showers. He lathers up some shampoo in his hands, then he begins to wash Suguru’s hair.
“I’m sorry for today, if I’d have been there sooner—,” Satoru speaks gently. “But you did all you could. It’s not your fault.” He massages Suguru’s scalp, steps close to him. He starts to hum, an effort to soothe Suguru or perhaps just to fill the silence. He rinses Suguru’s hair, adds the conditioner, runs his fingers delicately through the long black hair.
Suguru turns around to face him.
“Sometimes this job really fucking sucks. I couldn’t save her, I wanted to so bad, but I failed. You had to rescue me! What good am I as a sorcerer if I can’t even save one girl? What’s the point of all this is we can’t even save the innocent?!”
Satoru’s face is gentle, his eyes sad, “We have to keep trying. We couldn’t save her. But we will save others. This job is hard, it’s shit most of the time but we have to do it! How many more would have died if we didn’t kill that bastard today?”
Suguru cries in earnest, his heart is aching for the girls he hasn’t saved and the inevitable people he won’t be able to save in the future. His tears flow as Satoru rinses his hair.
Satoru turns the water off and grabs their towels. He wraps his towel around himself before he uses the other towel to dry Suguru’s hair and body.
“I can do it myself.”
“I know. So what?” Satoru wraps the towel around Suguru, “Come to my room with me.”
Suguru follows the other down the hall to his room. It’s identical in lay out to his own room, but there’s a Digimon poster on the wall and clothes all over the floor. It smells like Satoru in here.
After they both get pajamas on, Satoru goes over to his bed and pulls the blanket to the side. He climbs in and scoots to the side by the wall. He pats the open side of the bed. Suguru obliges and slips into the bed beside him. He’s immediately grabbed and pulled into Satoru’s arms.
Suguru responds to the embrace by wrapping his arms around the other. He brings his face into Satoru’s neck, breathes in deeply. He can feel Satoru’s hands rubbing back and forth across his back.
“Today was pretty terrible,” Satoru speaks softly. “She didn’t deserve to die. I wish I got there sooner so I could have helped before it was too late.” He tightens his embrace before continuing, “You feel things so deeply. It’s a strength, usually, but today it isn’t. You remind me to be human, that feeling things doesn’t make you weak. Your heart is soft, filled with love for humanity. You understand why we do this horrible fucking job. I wish I could take your pain away, but honestly, it’s why you are who you are. I’m sorry for your sorrow, but I’m glad you can feel.”
Suguru doesn’t want to speak, but he needs to tell Satoru how he makes him feel. Life is short, and life as a sorcerer is even shorter. So he pulls back so he can see Satoru’s face, they’re close enough that he can count the white eyelashes on Satoru’s brilliant eyes.
He reaches up and presses his lips to Satoru’s.
His heart flutters when Satoru tightens their embrace and returns the kiss. He pushes Suguru onto his back and presses the kiss deeper. Their legs intertwine, their mouths open to one another. It’s everything Suguru ever wanted. His senses are full of Satoru; his taste, his touch, his smell, his breathy sounds. He opens his eyes and all he can see is white hair and lashes, flushed pink skin. It’s bliss.
Many moments later, Satoru pulls away to speak.
“You’re amazing. Kissing you is amazing.”
Suguru responds by reaching up, kissing him softly, chastely, once again.
They fall asleep that night wrapped up in each other’s embrace. Suguru sleeps better than he has in months.
—
Their next mission, a few weeks later, is at a church. Suguru hates churches, he believes they exist to manipulate the desperate for money, status, and power. Cursed spirits gather near churches, weak, young spirits who attach themselves to the churchgoers to feed off their misery, siphoning their life force a little at a time.
There were four missing churchgoers they needed to find, the choir teacher and three students. The two young men searched the church grounds at night after business had closed for the day. It was classically spooky with creepy statues of saints, cobblestone paths, looming shadows, and echoing halls. Satoru was excited.
“If I find it first what’ll you give me?” Satoru had a lollipop in his mouth and was practically skipping through the grounds.
“Respect,” Suguru responds.
“Booooo! I don’t want that,” Satoru sticks out his tongue.
“What would you rather get?”
Satoru smiles wickedly, hungry eyes hidden by his blindfold, “You know what I want.”
“Well, do a good job and be professional and maybe I’ll give it to you,” Suguru walks ahead. Satoru hurries to follow him.
They feel its presence before they see it. Its cursed energy makes Suguru’s skin crawl. An ancient energy fills his senses, the curses inside him roil. The two sorcerers make eye contact and stop in their tracks.
“It’s a big one,” Satoru looks towards the source of the cursed energy, the church graveyard. It’s dark and shadowy, they still can’t see the curse, but they know it’s there.
As they approach, it rises from the shadows, its body materializing bit by bit from the blackness. It’s huge. Maybe the size of a van. It opens its mouth and dozens of rows of teeth gleam in the moonlight.
“Repent!” it shouts in a garbled screech of a voice as it lurches forward on four large, clawed feet, towards the them.
Without speaking, the pair begins their coordinated attack. Suguru summons a snake curse, he commands it to leap forward and wrap itself around the curse, pinning its four arms to its side. He then summons his falling curse and tricks the monster into thinking it’s fallen into a deep abyss. It falls to the ground, screeching as it goes.
“I want to absorb this one, let’s try to subdue it without killing it!” Suguru shouts over the curse’s screams.
“Let me try something new with Red!” Satoru gathers his reverse curse energy and creates a ball of red, he sends it out, it bursts just prior to making contact with the curse. The concussive blow hits the curse, it writhes and snaps its jaws, desperately trying to escape.
In a last show of strength, the curse breaks free from the snake curse and violently lashes out at the sorcerers. Suguru quickly dodges clawed hands and summons a snarling giant wolf curse that bites the enemy curse and pulls it back to the ground by its neck. Once it’s held down Satoru hits it with another Red, causing the beast to screech in pain.
Suguru breathes deeply and puts his hands out, attempting to subdue the curse so he can consume it. It struggles and screeches, resisting him with all its might. But Suguru is a special grade, he concentrates and feels his own cursed energy increasing and wrapping around the curse’s essence. He smiles once the curse gives way and is spun into an orb of energy he can hold in his palm.
“God, you’re so hot,” Satoru utters, “I love your technique.” Suguru smiles slyly.
“Let’s find the missing victims,” Suguru places the orb into his pocket to be absorbed later, “Where do you think they are?”
“Well it was living in this graveyard, let’s start here.”
They search the church grounds using Suguru’s glowing curse squid to illuminate and canvas the area. Finally, after some time, they come across a clearing in the woods near the graveyard, huddled together are three children, crying and afraid. They never find the choir teacher.
—
Later, at Suguru’s favorite soba place, the boys decompress. They sit together in a cozy booth at the back of the restaurant, enjoying each other’s company over a hot meal. This has become their new post-mission routine.
Suguru still struggles with the darkness of depression at times. But never as bad as he did in his second year. He finds his heart is full these days.
Their third year at Jujutsu High molds them into a well oiled machine of curse killing teamwork. They learn each other’s strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, techniques and quirks. Their connection strengthens and their affection for each other blossoms into love. Together they truly become The Strongest.