Work Text:
Lovro Dević wasn't exactly known for his tidying up abilities, but when it came to Ivan, he would move mountains to make him feel better. Moving a mountain maybe would have come easier to him than this - he was in the middle of the mess Ivan had made in his living room during his current episode. After the phase of staying in bed and sleeping for days, he usually came back here and felt ashamed and uncomfortable between all the canvas and paint and brushes scattered across the floor. So Lovro wanted the place to be cleaned up again before that happened, even though he had a very different limit of tolerance with chaos than his boyfriend.
One of the drawings caught his eye - it was a very detailed sketch, but also colored with watercolor. When he leaned down to pick it up, he realized it was a painting of eyes. The paper in Lovro's hand suddenly seemed to weigh ten kilograms; he felt hot and cold at the same time as nausea was taking over his body. The eyes were sharp and clear; the irises colored in the most vibrant blue. There was only one thought on his mind – Mihael. Those are Mihael's eyes.
He had seen them up close not even a week ago when they were watching Ivan on the court. There was no way of denying that every crinkle around them seemed to match the visuals in his head. And they were just as piercing blue. Lovro let out a shivering breath and tried to calm himself.
His boyfriend was currently lying in his bed, fighting the depressive state of his current episode. Lovro couldn't just confront him about what he had just found; he had to get his shit together and help Ivan to get better. Accusing him of anything would make everything worse, and that's the last thing he wanted to do right now.
Inevitably, his mind was visualizing Sonja finding the drawings of him during Ivan's episode back in February. Everything had started with that drawing. What if this was a sign that something was changing again? Even though Ivan had assured him that Mihael's feelings wouldn't make any difference to him. The pit in his stomach dropped even further.
"Lovro?" Ivan's voice was small and pleading. He was probably still waiting for Lovro to come back to bed to keep him company like he always did when Ivan had to stay a day in bed. Usually, he would be studying, reading, or just scrolling on his phone next to him sleeping, while always keeping in touch (if Ivan felt like it, of course).
With a sigh, he dropped the painting with the others on the desk and rubbed his face with both of his hands to soothe himself. He couldn't be mad at Ivan right now. Three spoons of Nutella as an anxiety-calming attempt later, he got back into Ivan's bedroom.
Seeing the boy he loved more than he ever thought was possible somehow made everything worse. Why are you even thinking about his eyes? It was so hard to let go of his attitude; it felt like denying all of himself right now, but everything was managable for the boy in front of him.
"Hey," he said softly and brushed his fingers through Ivan's short hair. It was obvious that he had a hard time even keeping his eyes open. It always hurt to see him struggle like this and feel absolutely helpless about it.
"What do you need?"
"Just you." Ivan's voice came out as a whisper but immediately made the familiar warmth spread back through Lovro's chest. When he wrapped his arms around the taller boy and pulled him in until he was lying on his chest, and he breathed in his favorite scent in the whole world, he forgot about all his wicked feelings from before. This was right where he needed to be right now.
–
Secretly taking a photo of the drawing with his phone had felt like he was going behind Ivan's back, but he knew it would eat him up either way. On his way to the skatepark, he kept looking at it while he was gnawing on his lips until they felt raw. Was there one plausible explanation on the planet why Ivan would take the time to draw such a detailed picture of his ex's eyes?
Jakov could sense that something was up with him from the moment they dapped each other up. After repeating for the tenth time that Lovro had promised he would tell him anything that was bothering him from now on, Lovro sighed and got his phone out.
"Buraz, is this some kind of prank? That's obviously your eyes," Jakov said with a snicker.
"Are you for real? Please look at his pictures again; that's clearly him!" Frantically, Lovro opened Mihael's Instagram account (that he was obviously not following, but knew every single detail about every single post, of course, totally normal). He kept clicking on different pictures and selfies and zoomed in on the eyes. How could Jakov not see it when it was so obvious?
"Yeah well, maybe that's because you look exactly the same, dude," he eventually scoffed. Lovro only gasped. What an outrageous thing to say. He opened and closed his mouth like a fish and kept staring at the pictures, shaking his head in utter disbelief.
What?
Jakov flung his head back, breaking into even louder laughter. "Don't tell me you didn't notice that until now?! Your man clearly has a type."
"Don't be stupid, he can't even decide on a gender!" Oh, Ivan would have hated how he just put it. But Lovro was more than just irritated; the same questions kept racing through his mind. Did Mihael really look like him, and why did he never notice? He just looked like a very muscular sports guy to Lovro. He never really concentrated on the traits they shared; he was totally focused on what he himself lacked.
"Okay, let's ask someone else, someone objective." Jakov was looking around, and Lovro snorted when his eyes clearly fixated on the random skater dude they kept meeting at the park. He didn't even remember his name.
"Hey Ari, can you come over here for a second? Come on, Lovro, show him the picture. Have you by any means seen these eyes before?" Of course, Jakov remembered the name. Of course, he would drag a stranger into his mess. Of course, Ari was coming over with a confused smile, because everyone liked Jakov.
"What kind of trick question is that? These are obviously yours." Ari was looking at them with furrowed brows and pointed at Lovro. He was just rolling his eyes.
"How would Ari even know if it's him? He doesn't even know Mihael! Wait, I will show you his instafeed."
And Lovro proceeded to open different pictures of him again, zooming in on his face and feeling a little nauseous with the way Ari was now staring in disbelief at his phone.
"Wait, is that your brother? Wow, you look really alike, that's crazy!" Ari looked sincerely amazed, and Lovro wanted to die. His brother. So maybe he and Ivan's stupid ex really looked somewhat alike.
Jakov was nearly falling off his board because he was laughing so hard now.
"Fuck you, seriously!"
-
Jakov - as always being his source of reason - had made him promise to talk to Ivan about it when he would eventually feel better. So when the latter got out of bed and into the shower for the first time the next day and came over to his place, Lovro was awaiting him on his bed with fidgeting hands.
"You know that drawing of the blue eyes... Whose are those?"
"I know my drawings are shit when I am on my meds, but I thought it was pretty obvious," Ivan said with a small shrug. Fuck, so Lovro really made him feel worse about himself now.
"No, because apparently bright blue eyes are your type," he said with a teasing smile to lighten up the mood (as if the sentiment didn't make him hit the ceiling, ha!).
"Sonja's eyes are brown?!" Ivan frowned for a moment before it clicked. A knowing grin spread across his face.
"A-ha! That's about Miha again, isn't it?"
Lovro was just squirming in his seat, visibly embarrassed.
"Oh Lovro, you didn't seriously believe I would be sitting around here drawing his eyes when I knew it would hurt you. How long have you been carrying this around?"
Ivan was so obviously worried and feeling bad about it, even though he did nothing wrong. Certainly, Lovro couldn't bring himself to explain that he didn't talk to him immediately because Ivan wasn't feeling well. He would put all the blame on himself and his illness again and be miserable about it, and that's the last thing Lovro wanted to achieve. So he just changed the subject.
"Jakov and that random skater dude say he looks exactly like me," he said with the pout on his lips that Ivan could never stop staring at. The distraction luckily worked in an instant.
"I mean, I get where they are coming from," Ivan said with a smirk.
"So when you tell me I have the most beautiful blue eyes in the world, then you also mean-"
"Lovro. What do you want me to say? I can't tell you he's the ugliest man on the planet when he's apparently your long-lost brother." The smirk on Ivan's face intensified and he poked teasingly into Lovro's side.
"Ivannnn. Don't even joke about that. Maybe I just thought I was special," Lovro said, seriously offended.
"Maybe you are." Ivan tilted his head and looked at him with the teasing glint in his eyes that made Lovro squirm in his seat again. How could one boy be so annoying and so utterly attractive at the same time?
"Ivan!" In an attempt to show his dismay, Lovro got up.
"No no no, you stay here, gorgeous." Ivan grabbed him by the waist and pulled him back down into his lap. His hand stayed firmly right above his hip and started rubbing soothing circles into the bare skin between his jeans and his shirt. Lovro shivered.
"He doesn't have these that look like your own star constellation and make your face distinctively beautiful." With that, Ivan leaned forward and placed soft kisses on every mole on his cheek.
"Also missing is the cutest button nose. Maybe you didn't notice, but I am obsessed." Of course, Lovro had noticed. But he was still baffled when Ivan bit into it tenderly.
"That pensive expression you make when you are jealous is also too precious for your own good and actually drives me insane." He fondly caressed the spot between his eyebrows with his thumb. Lovro tried to concentrate on anything but the fluttering feeling in his stomach.
"Told you on the day he crashed that karaoke party – your face really makes up for your mid character." Truly a way to ruin the moment.
"You really want to sleep alone on the floor tonight, don't you?" Lovro snorted and rolled his eyes affectionately.
"Ahh, maybe Debela would cuddle with me then; she never gets on that bed because you make these elephant noises and scare her away."
"Can't believe you even appreciate my cat more than me." The pout was back on his face, and he faked trying to get up again, but Ivan's grip on him was still too tight. Lovro didn't mind one bit.
"You are so fucking lucky that you are so pretty when you pout. Otherwise, you would just be a menace." With all his beautiful dimples showing, Ivan laughed and shook his head.
"But I am your menace." Lovro knew he lost the game in that moment, but he didn't even care. He looked in Ivan's dark brown eyes and just got lost in them. There was no way to keep up the play-fight for the sake of it. Not when Ivan was taking his face in his big hands and leaned it.
"Yeah, and that might be my favorite thing about you," he whispered right before putting his lips onto Lovro's.