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"WELCOME BACK MY EVER-CHANGING TREE BLESSED SPECKS OF STARDUST!" Caine's voice beams over all around as you and the rest of the Circus members (sans Zooble, who ditched today's adventure once again) exit the portal, finally getting back to the Tent after a… admittedly, pretty calm adventure… perhaps, too calm…
"YOUR PRIZE FOR TODAY IS A LEAF TAKEN DIRECTLY FROM THE FAVOR TREE! WHISPER YOUR GREATEST OR DARKEST DESIRES INTO IT, FOLD IT, CLAP YOUR HANDS! AND YOUR WISH might COME TRUE!" Caine snaps his fingers, and a single, completely white, almost glowing leaf gently falls on your head, you carefully pick it up and stare at it for a while. Gangle just brushes it off herself, Kinger doesn't even notice how it fell directly into one of his eyeballs, and she lets it fall onto her gloved hand and just states at it, just like you… You really really doubt what Caine said about your wish coming true, but it's always nice to hold onto nice little fantasies like that.
"AND KINGER! FOR BEING THE FIRST ONE OUT OF THE MAZE OF TEARS, YOU GET A SPECIAL EXTRA PRIZE!" Caine once again snaps his fingers, and a digital camera with a red, purple and blue streak going down its center appears in midair, but unlike the leaf, Kinger immediately spots it and places both of his floating hands in the precise spot the camera was spawned and grabs it before it can be affected by gravity. He immediately starts fiddling with it while walking away… hmm...
You set your gaze back to the leaf, you spin it around in your hand. There's really no harm in indulging in it, right?
Your bring the leaf close your mouth, whisper your wish so quietly it's like you're just mouthing the words, fold the leaf, and clap your hands with the leaf between them. When you look back… the leaf is gone, huh. As you stare at your now empty palms, a voice drenched in so much smugness and irony that you wonder how it isn't drowning on the stuff reaches your metaphorical ear drums.
"Soooo, watcha' wish for, Dollface?" Jax asks, now standing besides you, his patented s#!t eating grin never faltering, but this time it being slightly relaxed. You know by now it means he's only gonna tease you, instead of trying to ruin your life.
>"Oh, I just wished for-" Wait, crap, what are you doing? You can't tell him what you actually wished for. He'll never let you forget, quick think of something, anything! "Gangle's mask to not break in the next adventure! I think she deserves after today…" Yeah that's beliveable, and true now that you think about it. Even if the adventure was relatively simple, Gangle didn't have a particular good time. All thanks to the purple stick figure standing next to you, since this adventure had basically no NPCs, he resorted to endlessly bullying and mocking the poor mass of ribbons and- Oh god, you should have wished for that! She so clearly needs it! But noOooOoo you just had to be selfish! And for what!? For Pomni to-
"Lameee." The jackrabbit exclaimed, kicking you out of your minor mental spiral, you are… weirdly grateful to him for that. Obviously you won't tell him that, because you aren't entirely sure how to feel about that fact. "I wished Caine would spawn in a doctor NPC so we can finally have that clussy fever of yours officially diagnosed!" He laughs while putting his arms behind his head. He's been using that word a lot lately, always directed at you, you have no idea what it means, but you wouldn't put past it being some sort of slur towards redheads… or lesbians. You wouldn't be shocked if it was, he definitely used 4chan at some point in his life. He starts walking away, one hand on his hip and the other swinging back and forth, like he's a model showing off a new overpriced trendy dress, and onto the common area of the circus, where the four colorful, weirdly plastic-y couches were. Jax had already taken the purple couch on the left fully to himself, laying down with his arms behind his back as a makeshift pillow, Gangle and Zooble were on the green couch, both using the nearby Siamese coffee table to draw and doddle on paper. And she is on the blue couch… talking to Jax.
You'd be a damn liar if you said this didn't greatly bother you. Most people would say you're jealous… and yes, in a way you very much are. But it was the fact she acts like Jax is suuuuch a cool guy, just a funny little guy, a little prankster, one of the gang, f#!ks sake, he threw you in an active deep frye-
…oh god they noticed you staring. Your pupils dilate and your mouth turns into a line, completely straight unlike you, she looks at you and…
Smiles.
That f#!%ing smile.
You swear if all the invisible light sources in the Circus were deleted, that smile would be enough to make the entire tent visible again. All your worries and made up awkwardness melt away as you move forward to set right next to her. The fact Jax is looking at you with a smile so wide you swear 80% of his face is teeth and moving his eyebrows up and down so fast you are certain the friction could cause a small fire, honestly doesn't even bother you.
With her sitting next to you, smiling, for even a second, you feel real, you feel at complete peace, you feel… loved.
Even though you know… it's not the love you want.
And that's fine! That's completely fine! Beggars can't be choosers after all, she's your friend and honestly, that it in of itself is a miracle. So stop worrying about how you want her to look at you the same way you look at her, or how your life would be completely empty and feel utterly meaningless if she were gone, or how above everything else you can never EVER tell her… Ignore all those things! And just… enjoy the now.
It's for your own good.
It must been have a few minutes at this point, nothing major happening, just small talk. Mainly Pomni retelling the adventure to Zooble and poking fun at it. They seem glad they didn't go in it. You didn't find it that bad, but it was definitely tedious. Just aimlessly walking around a maze who's walls were made of water, which you would think would make it easier, since they were basically see through, but the fact that every time you looked back, the layout had completely changed in the few seconds you looked away… didn't really make for the most riveting of experiences, to say the least.
Jax says something that makes Zooble flip him a censored bird, and Pomni to, not-so-lightly, punch him in the shoulder, but he takes it in stride. But you don't pay much attention to that, because in the distance you can see…
Kinger, walking around aimlessly, the camera he won for being the first one to leave the maze still in his hands. He's still fidgeting with it like a kid who got a new toy for Christmas, but you are certain he never took a single photo with it.
Your mind wanders again, a hypothesis brewing in your head, something that you thought was just a silly idea before the adventure began, began taking better shape during the adventure proper, and now you were certain of it by now.
You don't realize just how long you've been staring, but you only come back to reality when Pomni gently holds your arm and asks "Is, everything okay?", that's isn't enough to completely snap you back out of your trance, so as if on auto-pilot, your instantly reply:
"I think Kinger is in a time loop."
And THAT is enough to snap you back out as you realize how insane that sounds, you look back and see everyone staring at you like you, Pomni, Zooble and Gangle look at you confused, while Jax is trying his damnest not to piss himself from laughing.
"…what??" Zooble finally breaks the silence, putting his hands up and now standing up from where she was crouching. You think about reeling back, saying it was a joke, anything to cut the sudden interrogation, but you are certain you are right about this, so you stand your ground.
"Yeah!"
"No like, what are you talking about?" Zooble questions further, their tone growing more and more confused and befuddled by the second.
"Oh um, well. You ever seen Groundhog Day? Or, um…" You try thinking of any other time loop movies or series, but Groundhog Day really is the only one you know, you hope the others already know what a time loop is, because you're not sure if you're equipped to explain such a concept to them.
"Of course I've f#@%in' seen Groundhog Day." Zooble replies as if you just asked the dumbest question in existence, crossing their arms as his antennas twitch a little. "Great movie…" Gangle adds "It was fine." Zooble shrugs before turning back to you, waiting your response.
"Okay, so, I've noticed Kinger acting strangely today and-"
"Wait, Dollface, you're right!" Jax interrupts you, finally properly sitting on the couch "And… I also just noticed… gasp! You have a button for an eye!" He points at you with a shocked expression, the other hand on his cheek, before quickly going back to laughing hysterically, and in between laughs he's able to say "Ol' nutso acts strange every goddamn day, what makes this one any different?"
"It's just, his timing on certain things--"
"His timing?" Gangle asked, still crouching down near the coffee table, still doodling but stopping every now and then to look back at you.
"Yes just- Okay let me explain it better…"
"So, earlier today. When Jax was pulling his little stunt with that wiffle ball bat…" Jax looks at the ceiling with a dumb smile in his face, like he's longing for a sweet memory. That makes your cotton scrunch up, but you don't dwell on it "Right as the bat was about to hit Gangle from behind, Kinger, who was just passing by, put his hand up and grabbed it in midair, without even looking at it!" Gangle stops drawing, and puts her ribbon hand on the bottom of her mask, rubbing it, she seems deep in thought.
"And then a good minute or so before Caine showed up to announce the adventure, he was already close by, and was looking exactly where Caine popped up before he did!"
"So? Caine always announces the adventure in the stage." Zooble inquires, now sitting in the green couch, looking less undignified, and more cautiously curious.
"But he announced it when we all were in Ragatha's room, looking for… well, funnily enough, Kinger." Pomni replied.
"…huh."
You continue "I guess I really knew it when the moment we got in the maze, he started walking immediately, took two lefts, one right, and then he was gone for the rest of the adventure. And lo and behold, he was apparently the first one to finish the maze. And that's when I thought 'Hold the freak up… this is some time loop bulls#!t'!"
Pomni chuckles "You said freak instead of f#$k but then you still said sh!t?" Oh, you… did… yeah that was kinda weird wasn't it?
"Oh, um- Heh, what can I say, I'm excited!"
"Yeah I can tell… it's cute."
Heheh… WHAT!? Did she just call you cute!? Wait no, she called you being excited cute, that's different… is it though!? Oh wait- Oh gosh, you can feel your face heating up, is it getting red? It's definitely getting red. Everyone can see. You really don't wanna look at them, but also if you keep looking at her your face is only gonna get redder, what to do, what to do-
"Whatche' all talking about?"
"AAH-!" Pomni screams and flitches away.
"AAAH- Oh hi Pomni, didn't see you there!"
After everyone caught back their breath from the shock, Kinger once again asks "Whatche' all talking about?", in the exact same tone and inflation as he did before.
"Right um…" Jax composes himself, he was clearly also startled by Kinger's sudden appearance even though he didn't scream. His grin growing back on his face "Your crazy finally rubbed off on Rags over here-" You don't know why, but him calling you that really really irks you "and she thinks you're a time loop, or something."
"Oh! I am! Good job figuring it out Ragatha!" Kinger beams, looking genuinely proud of you… huh.
"…wait what?" Pomni interjects "How? When? Huh??"
Kinger sits down on the purple couch next to Jax, the rabbit automatically scooting over to not be near the chest piece, to 'not also catch his crazy', you imagine that's his reasoning. The first one to speak up is Zooble, looking genuinely intrigued.
"Okay so, you're in a time loop. Like the movies?" They hold up one finger and circle it around in the air, mimicking the motion of a loop.
"Yep! It has been today for… a few months now. Same adventure, same Caine speeches, if I don't interject you all act the same, the works." Kinger explained, he seems… oddly lucid when explaining it, which is weird since the Tent is as bright as ever.
"How are you sure it's been a few months?" Gangle looks up at Kinger "Isn't one of the scary parts of a time loop not knowing how long you've been in it?"
"Hmm… good point!" He reaches a floating hand behind his back and pulls out… the camera?
"How are you gonna get a date from a camera?" Jax questions.
"Well, this is the funny part." he turns the camera so that Jax can see the screen in the back part "For some reason, the one other thing that doesn't reset in each loop besides me is, the camera Caine gave me! All the photos I took are still saved!"
"I now make sure to take a least one photo, or even video per day. The number of things saved, the number of days I've been here."
"Video?" You ask sheepishly
"Oh! Yeah, this camera records as well, not just takes photos. Nifty, right?" So Caine basically gave him a phone, you wonder if that camera also played snake and pong, at which case you'd have to ask Kinger if you could borrow it. Kinger looks at the screen display for a few seconds, counting something in his mind before lifting up his head "Apparently it's been today for exactly 56 days, counting today." You don't know why but you expected a different number.
"So like, how did you… get stuck in this time loop?" You ask, seems like a reasonable first question.
"If he knew, he wouldn't exactly be here talking to us. He'd be spending every waking minute trying to find a way out… that's what I'd do at least." Zooble commented before Kinger could answer and… yeah, now that you think about it, it was a silly question.
"Well, yes, Zooble is not wrong. I don't know how this happened! Maybe a glitch in the Circus that erases everyone's memories but mine?" He ponders, not realizing that idea is absolutely terrifying.
"Um… uuh, okay." Pomni scratches the back of her head, or rather the back of her hat. "And, how does the loop begin again? Like, did you try staying up all night or?"
"Oh, many times. But at exactly 11:59 I black out and when I wake up, I'm back where I started the day."
"Hm… okay, well, did you try asking Caine about it? Surely he can fix it." Gangle continued the questionnaire
"Oh yes I have!"
…
He does not go further into detail, and everyone seems to already know it's a losing battle to try and inquire further.
"Okay, since this is apparently an AMA now, time for the big one…" Jax starts speaking, and you already know it's gonna be something awful "Did you ever die? Or I guess, abstract?" the room goes completely quiet for a few minutes, you and Zooble look at Jax with anger, while Pomni and Gangle just look at the floor awkwardly. Jax's smile still plastered on his dumb mug as he awaits Kinger's response.
"No. I have not." Kinger finally answered, though he basically whispered it, you almost didn't hear it.
The area remains silent for a few more seconds, Kinger still playing with the screen of the camera, and Jax seemingly looking satisfied for having ruined the mood. Prick.
You hear the sound of a 'snap' off to the side followed by a whine, you look over and see the tip of Gangle's pencil she was using to draw on her sketchpad broke off. She probably started doodling harder and faster to the awkwardness.
"Dang it…" she said, defeated, before slowly standing up "I'll, go and see if I can find another pencil in my room."
"You won't find any there, but there will be one at Pomni's room, in the drawer of the vanity, alongside other drawing supplies you'd normally see at a preschool. Pomni will get annoyed at that and give them all to you." Kinger immediately responded. You almost forgot for a moment, but yeah, after so long Kinger probably already knows what's gonna happen in the full day "Oh, speaking off. Zooble, the glitter bomb Jax set up in your room is gonna detonate in t-minus 4 minutes, you should hurry up."
"WHAT!?" Zooble stood up, giving Jax a death glare before running out of the common area in direction to their room.
"Hey, hold on Zoobie, I gotta see your reaction! Plus, not like you'll find out the deactivation code in time!" Jax also stood up, quickly following Zooble behind.
"We shoooould… probably go look for that pencil now." Pomni said bashfully while slowly getting off the couch, she gesture to me to follow her, but Kinger grabs her attention for a second and gestures to me with his eyes. I have no idea what that means, but Pomni seems to understand, as she quickly leaves with Gangle by her side, either to grab the art supplies from her room or to prevent Zooble from skinning Jax alive. Maybe both.
It's just you and Kinger on the common area now, you two sit in silent for a bit before he drops the bombshell on you…
"So when are you gonna confess to her?"
"I- UM- WHAT!? HUH??"
"You like Pomni, so when are you gonna confess?"
Deflect, deny, NOW! "Whaaat? That's…. crrazzy, I don't! Pomni's just my friend and I… y'know, wouldn't wanna ruin that so-" Shut up, shut up, you're making it too obvious. God you're a bad liar.
Kinger looks at you with a look you can't tell if it's annoyance or pity.
"Ragatha, we had this exact conversation…" he looks down at his camera's screen for a second before continuing "Eight times before. Can we… y'know, not?"
…welp. He got you. You don't really know what you expected by trying to lie with someone who knows today like the back of his hand, so better to just give in "…fine, I do… like… a lot."
"So when are you gonna confess?"
"I'M NOT- I… I can't, okay?" you finally give in, you sigh as you continue "I don't know if she likes me back, I don't know if she even likes girls, I'm not even entirely sure if she likes me in general and not just pretending! I-… I can't, ruin this by throwing all this onto her. Plus I'm happy where our relationship is at the moment!" You lie through your teeth and a forced smile "It's fine!" It's not. "I'm fine." You're not. You want her, you want her to love you back so, so much it physically hurts. But you cannot take the risk of ruining one of the few good things you have going on in this digital prison. Too much risk… even if the reward sounds pretty nice…
"…Ragatha. I get it. These feelings, they can be scary and, sometimes feel wrong. But believe me, they aren't. And I have a feeling that even in the worst case scenario, where she doesn't feel the same, she'd still want to be friends and be around you." Oh Kinger… always knowing what to say. Least, when he's lucid that is.
"I… guess… Alright, I'll do it!… t-tomorrow! Yeah, I'll, do it tomorrow, after the adventure! Haha!" You don't know if this is a lie to Kinger or to yourself.
"Mhm…" Kinger just hums before slowly getting up, placing the camera back on his hammerspace, which to this day you don't really know how it works for any of you, and looking back at you with a caring look "Welp, guess that's settled! You wanna go to the carnival?" He immediately changes his tune, walking around from the common area and onto the Circus main entrance. You're confused by this, but you decide you have nothing better to do now that everyone else is busy, so you follow him.
The time at the carnival with Kinger was indeed quite nice. But you couldn't shake two feelings off your head. The first one being the embarrassment of the fact he knew you liked Pomni and mentioned it so casually, you wouldn't be shocked if he knew you liked her before YOU knew you liked her.
But the second being… did you two do this before? He said you already had that conversation eight times, so did you also give in and say you were gonna confess tomorrow those other times, did he also instantly change his mood and took you to the carnival? Or was this brand new territory for both of you. You didn't know and that really scared you. You must have been at the Carnival for quite a few hours, but you barely saw the time pass, both due to having a nice time with the chess piece, but also due to your own worries over the whole conversation after the adventure.
You're both sitting down at a bench, smack-dab in the middle of the park, winding down for the day. You two sit in comfortable silence, you looking over the many featureless mannequins NPCs roaming around the park, while Kinger indulges in some red cotton candy, some of it getting stuck in his eye balls.
But after a bit he stops, looks at the floor, and in a serious tone, asks you…
"You know… there is no tomorrow, right?"
"H-Huh?" You're caught off guard and, you're a bit scared if you were to be honest.
"You said you were gonna confess tomorrow… there is no tomorrow. Not while I'm dealing with… this." He gestures to nothing, but you know what he means "It's just gonna be today again, so…" he doesn't finish the sentence, silence falling down on both of you, no longer comfortable.
"I-I mean… what am I supposed to do? What do I say? 'Hey Pomni! I know Kinger is currently in a looping prison where no one around him is allowed to change. But did I ever tell you how much your laugh is adorable!?'" You sarcastically say, a mirthless laugh coming out of you afterwards, and a more genuine one coming out of Kinger soon after.
"Yeaah, it isn't the most appropriate… which is why…" He stands up from the bench, offering a hand for you to sit up as well, you take it. He then reaches into his hammerspace once more, and pulls out the camera "You could tell her now. And I'll show it to her lat-… earlier today." He hands you the camera, but you aren't sure if you should take it.
"I don't know Kinger. What if she thinks I don't mean it when talking through a camera? What if she thinks I don't take her seriously? What if-"
"Then you just wait until the end of the way. And both of you will have forgotten it ever happened." He interrupts you with, basic knowledge you should know by now, but you can't help it getting clouded by your feelings of self-doubt.
Still, he makes a good point. So why not go ahead and try it? You take the camera from his hands, press the record button, face it to your face and just… let your heart speak for you.
"Hey Pomni! This is kinda weird, I know, but, Kinger convinced me to do this, since it's the only way I feel confident enough to do it… I'd probably stall a bit more, but I can see Kinger silently telling me to hurry up, haha…" Kinger chuckles softly from behind the camera. "So um… I don't, really know how else to word this but uh… I… like you, Pomni. Like, a lot… a lot, a lot. Like isn't even strong enough of a word to describe it to be honest. You're just so kind, and caring, and emphatic towards everyone… even that purple jack*ss… N-Not saying you don't have to hang out with him anymore of course you can, you don't need my permission or something! I'm not your mom or anything, haha! A-And I know you hate being treated like a-a kid, and that's completely valid- I mean I do find you cute, b-but if you don't like that that's also valid, I-I also think you're beautiful to be honest, and- oh wait is that too forward- of course it is! I'm so sorry I-" Kinger puts one of his disembodied hands on your shoulder, grounding you and allowing you to catch your breathe once again, you pause and continue "S-Sorry… I guess what I'm trying to say is… is… I… I love you, Pomni. This is probably weird to say, since you're so new but, every day you give me a reason to keep going, and every second you're by my side, it all just feels… worth it. If I get to see you smile. to see you laugh, to see you cry, to see you be… you. It makes it all worth it." You one good eye starts to sting due to the tears now forming around it "Oh gosh, look at me now… I'm a mess, haha… I, understand if you don't feel the same, I really do. Because no matter what, I want you to be happy, be it with me, or not. Heck, that's what I wished for with Caine's weird wish granting leaves, hah... I don't… I don't really know how to end this. Uuh… bye! I um… I love you! Haha!" You click the stop record button. You feel lighter than air, you are on cloud 9. Which doesn't really make sense since you didn't actually tell Pomni anything, you just talked to a camera. But you guess just getting your feelings out helped a lot. You're about to hand Kinger the camera back, before you see on the corner of the screen display
11:58
"Wait… Kinger, didn't you say-" Before you can ask property, Kinger eyes shut close, as he falls down to the floor, completely lifeless
"KINGER-"
"WELCOME BACK MY EVER-CHANGING TREE BLESSED SPECKS OF STARDUST!" Caine's voice beams over all around as you and the rest of the Circus members exit the portal, finally getting back to the Tent after a… admittedly, pretty calm adventure… perhaps, too calm…
"YOUR PRIZE FOR TODAY IS A LEAF TAKEN DIRECTLY FROM THE FAVOR TREE! WHISPER YOUR GREATEST OR DARKEST DESIRES INTO IT, FOLD IT, CLAP YOUR HANDS! AND YOUR WISH might COME TRUE!" Caine snaps his fingers, and a single, completely white leaf gently falls on your head, you gently pick it up and stare at it for a while. Gangle just brushes it off herself, Kinger doesn't even notice how it fell directly into one of his eyeballs, and she lets it fall onto her gloved hand and just states at it, just like you… You really really doubt what Caine said about your wish coming true, but it's always nice to hold onto nice little fantasies like that.
"AND KINGER! FOR BEING THE FIRST ONE OUT OF THE MAZE OF TEARS, YOU GET A SPECIAL EXTRA PRIZE!" Caine once again snaps his fingers, and a Polaroid camera with a red, purple and blue streak going down its center appears in midair, but unlike the leaf, Kinger immediately spots it and places both of his floating hands in the precise spot the camera was spawned and grabs it before it can be affected by gravity. He immediately starts fiddling with it while walking… towards Pomni.
He gently taps her on the shoulder, making her finally look away from the leaf she was holding. He hands her his new camera while pointing to the screen display. They're too far away for you to hear anything they're saying but… you can make out Pomni's expressions as she watches something in the camera.
She smiles and waves at you, her pupils turned into pink hearts.
You… don't know what's going on. Yet your heart is going a mile a minute. So you just…
Smile and wave back.
You don't know what is happening. You don't know what was in that camera. You don't know why a wave of relief appears on Kinger's eyes. You don't know why Caine reappears and seems to congratulate Kinger on something, a 'special event' is all you can hear from the pair of dentures. You don't know why Pomni is walking towards you, intent in her eyes. You don't know why you feel oddly calm about this when in any other situation you would be sweating bullets. You don't know why she shyly extends a hand to you. You don't know why you immediately take her hand as if this was the most normal thing in the world. You just don't know.
And, you're fine with not knowing. Because for some reason, you know it will all be okay from now on…