Work Text:
Life on Jabberwock Island had been relatively peaceful, even considering all the memories, traumatic or not, that the island held. Komaeda wasn’t sure about his opinions on the island, in all honesty. The feelings mixing from horrific and downright despairful at worst to miraculous at best. The latter being mostly because the man who started and ended it all – the man he can now, proudly, call his fiancé.
It’s a miracle Hinata still tolerates him and even so, Komaeda doubts that his luck cycle is actively countered by the other’s. Yet the fact that they are actively(!) planning their wedding stands to contradict his doubt.
Which leads to their current predicament; Komaeda and Hinata live on Jabberwock Island with their classmates. That is to say, Komaeda and Hinata live on Jabberwock Island with their nosy classmates.
“What music will you have at the venue? Oh, oh! Ibuki totes has so many good love songs!” Mioda said, while hitting the table with her utensils to a certain beat only she can recognize.
“What about the venue? You can’t plan out the setlist without the literal place where the wedding’s gonna be held!” Koizumi added on.
“The beach, doi!” Saijonji exclaimed.
“Well that’s settled! I will do the decorating, Teruteru the catering…” Sonia continued. Truthfully, Komaeda had zoned out while turning to look at his fiancé. Hinata was sitting in the chair next to him with a look of total disbelief as he witnessed their ex-classmates already taking multiple napkins to make various lists and diagrams.
“Seems like they got it covered, huh?” Komaeda nudged his lover lightly. He shook his head, chuckling lightly, “Apparently.”
As breakfast comes to an end, everyone starts exiting the restaurant and, slowly but surely, it gets quieter. “Hey”, Hinata said to him, “I’m gonna go get some more coffee, do you want anything?” The albino only lightly shook his head in reply, smiling softly. As the former leaves the booth, he takes the chance to see who else is still dining – He notices Owari arm wrestling Nidai, while eating an omelette. Impressive, He notes to himself. Turning his gaze to the table next to him he notices Koizumi looking at her camera’s screen, presumably at the pictures she can put in her next album, then, he turns his gaze to the surprisingly close Sonia seated in front of him. Komaeda let out a nervous chuckle– how long had she been sitting there, anyways?
“Is there anything I can do for you, Nevermind-san?” Komaeda says, shaking off the questions in his mind.
“Actually”, She says, placing her hands on the table, gentle and formal as ever, “You and Hinata are serious about this engagement, correct?”
The question catches Komaeda off-guard, he wonders what prompted her to ask such a thing – Was it something he said? Or worse, was it something Hinata said? “Yes,” He nods instead, “we are. Why do you ask?-"
“Have you thought about living arrangements? The financial decisions? Children?” The former Princess says, determinedly, a shine in her eyes despite her serious manner. Children? Komaeda admittedly, hadn’t thought that far, hadn’t let himself think that far – He’s more than onboard with whatever Hinata wants. Opening his mouth to answer just that, Koizumi interjects with a comment of her own. A comment that the ex-Lucky student swears will haunt him till the day he lays his final breath,
“Honestly? You’d make a good stay-at-home dad, Komaeda.” Huh?
He admits he remembers something similar being said to him in the simulation, but he doesn’t remember it having the same effect as now. He feels his face flush, Me? A father? To Hajime’s child? A child that is Hajime’s? A child that will most likely look and act like Hajime? I get to be a part of that?
Komaeda must have been as red as Koizumi’s hair and unless he wants to pass out in front of his friends, he needs to leave. Soon, preferably. “I doubt it..ahaha..” He slowly pushes himself up from his seat, “I’m sorry, but if you’ll excuse me, I’m not feeling well all of a sudden!” He continues awkwardly laughing, "Must be”my bad luck!”
“Wait, aren’t you waiting for Hinata?-” Sonia had attempted to ask as the frail man sprinted(!) out of the restaurant at record speed.
When Hinata came back with his steaming cup of coffee, he noticed Sonia and Koizumi staring at each other, then at him and then at the empty seat that was missing a certain Komaeda-shaped person. He looked at them and pointed at the seat in silent question. All he got from the two girls was a shrug.
The door to Hinata’s cottage closed quietly, despite Komaeda’s internal panic. He was healing, he knew he was. He was allowed to think about a bright future that includes him, he was getting married, afterall! Yet, despite all of that, it’s still engrained deep in his brain that he’s not allowed to think that far ahead. That small voice in his head laughing at him like it’s stupid of Komaeda to expect something good in his life, like he was the one in control of it and not the omnipresent luck cycle that haunts him. Hinata, proclaimed ultimate Hope, taught him that he was. That his future and anything to come was his own. Nonetheless, he couldn’t have expected this.
That isn’t to say that he doesn’t want a life with the brunette, that's an insane thought to have. It’s Hajime Hinata he’s talking about afterall. His serenity, the man who never gave up on him, the man who stood and declared that every single one of them can be saved and that he won’t give up on any of them, especially Komaeda. Of course he wants the future with him, he wants everything he can grasp onto in this life and he wants to experience it all with him, with Hinata, with Hajime.
Though, he must admit the thought scares him a bit. It terrifies him just how easily the want crept up in his ever-deteriorating brain.
He’s never been a child-oriented sort of guy – The most he has done in terms of ‘care-taking’ (if you can even call it that), had been with the Warriors of Hope. Yet the thought of that sweet domesticity, of being there for his husband and taking care of something that is meant to symbolize both of their hopes – The thought that he can stop the cycle of loneliness, and give love to something so fragile – The thought that he can raise this child with Hinata, and never let them be alone, never let them go through what he did and let them experience what he never did. It’s the possibility that he can finally see what his parents thought raising him, what they had seen in parenthood.
Or, maybe it’s just the fact that he can see a tinier version of Hinata running around that has him giddy. Who knows.
Whatever the reason may be, knowing that this sort of domesticity is within arms reach has him petrified. Not because of his luck surprisingly, but because he has never had experience with it. He’d be stranded in a place he’s never seen before with maps in code he cannot translate.
Starting a family with Hinata is a thought he had never let himself fantasize about, not at the beach where they met, not when Hajime refused to feed him, not in those godforsaken fruit houses, not in the warehouse where he,
Nevermind. His point has gotten across.
Komaeda looks around their shared cottage, he sees his own things sprinkled about, entwined with Hinata’s own. He sees the man’s reports on top of his various books and he sees his worn-out jacket on Hinata’s desk chair. He looks down towards his hands. One hand his own, and one is of Hinata’s making. Entwined no matter what he looks at. Both hands tremble still. To be entwined even more together, two vines that can no longer be separated, it exhilarates him. It’s amazing, it’s so hopeful–
The door behind him nudges his back, the person obviously not expecting him to be right at the doorstep, “Shit- sorry,” It’s his fiancé. Dear lord. “Are you okay? You weren’t there when I came back.” Hinata says, oh so sweetly, not knowing the inner turmoil of his lover.
As Komaeda turns around, he sees the worry in Hinata’s gorgeous, heterochromatic eyes, ones that can shine so brightly – eyes that their child could have, Komaeda’s traitorous brain whispers and once again, he’s spiraling at the thought. “I was just” he waves his hand around, hoping that the words come to him, “getting the book I forgot to return?”
Hinata looks at him for a bit and the taller man prays to the forsaken luck cycle that haunts his every step to listen to him this one time, and grant his wish. Eventually, “Okay.” Hinata’s shoulders slump and he’s walking past his lover. “The Future Foundation wants me to write some more emails so I’ll be here until dinner.” And then, Hinata stops and turns around, facing Komaeda once more. He plants a soft, barely there kiss on the corner of Komaeda’s lips and says, “If you need anything, tell me, yeah?”
“..Yeah.” The albino responds dumbly.
Hinata smiles at him once more and Komaeda concludes that he’s destined to fall in love with this man every day of his life and every other life.
Komaeda has developed a plan of sorts.
Albeit, it isn’t a smart one, but it’s one where he can calm down at the mere thought of having a child with Hinata, instead of turning red, then blue, and then simply fainting. He’s decided to avoid his fiancé as much as he can. Just for a little until he can sort this out. He’ll miss Hinata’s company more than ever, yet he’d rather a little discomfort than embarrassing himself even more in front of the man of his dreams.
It’s been two weeks since the day of Koizumi making the comment. And so far? He’s gotten nowhere. He still panics, he still becomes overwhelmed at the thought, and he’s still bursting with joy at the mere thought of him and Hinata being a family.
One day, the brunette tries catching him before he leaves their cottage,
“Hey..” He mumbled, still dazed from sleep (or the lack of). His serenity has a frown on his face and his brows are furrowed in a way that shows, not even annoyance, yet dejection. “Is everything okay?” He starts. “You’ve been avoiding me for weeks.. Did I do something?”
Komaeda opens his mouth, then closes it. The words choosing to not come out. He shakes his head, “You have nothing to worry about.” He says, kissing his cheek. He leaves that morning and doesn’t return until sunset, avoiding Hinata once more.
It’s been three weeks since he started this mission of his and to no avail. He still panics, he still gets giddy. And he thinks he always will.
It’s a surprisingly cold night out on Jabberwock, the cold sea air grazing his skin even through the thin blanket. It’s 2 AM. His mind helpfully supplies. He knows because of Hinata’s murmuring next to him, he hears it despite being turned towards the window.
He hears everything Hinata does. It’s natural for him.
Yet now, he pretends he’s asleep, pretends he doesn’t hear. He's trying to think of another way to solve his problem when suddenly, he hears shifting, louder than before. His train of thoughts stop there, and he sucks in a breath. Hoping his fiancé doesn’t notice his poor act.
It’s been three weeks, and he feels how strongly Hinata’s gaze burns into his back.
It takes Komaeda’s all not to turn around when he hears shifting once more, and Hinata’s body closer than ever. He’s sitting up next to him. “I know you’re most likely asleep.” Hinata quietly says, more dejected than Komaeda had heard him in a long time. He hears his lover mumble an almost silent ‘This is stupid’, before letting out a sigh and continuing,
“I really hope everything is okay between us. I, I've been scared out of my mind these last few weeks, if I’m being honest.” Komaeda wants to turn around, but he doesn’t, he still doesn’t. He’s horrid. He’s been horrid and he still is horrid.
“We were planning our wedding. Our wedding, and then you just.. start ignoring me?” He feels rather than hears Hinata pull his feet up and rest his head on his knees.His voice is shaky, tired. Sorrowful.
“I don’t know what I did. I really don’t. I wish you told me these things, Ko- I thought we were past this.” He hears a tired sniffle, perhaps the weather is getting to him. Hinata always liked sleeping practically naked. He was as warm as a furnace, afterall. Komaeda was cold. It’s been cold. “If I did..hurt you, I really want you to tell me so that I can- apologize. Make up for it. I don’t know. Anything but this.“
“A-And” Hinata’s voice cracks, he would’ve found it humorous if this wasn’t the topic of the night. He really wishes he didn’t do this. Maybe he’ll just, stop avoiding him from now on? Figure it out beside him? He didn’t want this to happen. “If you’re..I don’t know.. Sick of me. Tell me. We’ll figure something out, I’ll- I’ll call off the wedding if that’s what you wa-”
Komaeda sits up, eyes awake, not a trace of drowsiness in them. He finally looks his fiancé in the eyes. Those gorgeous eyes are sparkling in the moonlight, tired, so unbelievably tired. Hinata is curled up, arms on his knees, face doused in confusion. If it were a video game, there would be a small question mark above his head.
But this isn’t a video game. It isn’t anymore. Komaeda has hurt his love, and he has to make up for it. “No.” He says.
“Don’t say any of that.” Hinata looks at him as if he’d grown a second head, Komaeda doesn’t let him speak as he turns around to face him fully. “Don’t ever think it’s you at fault, It never is.” Before Hinata’s Ultimate Therapist talent can add on that that is an unhealthy statement, that they can both be at fault and everything else that comes between– “You did nothing wrong here. It’s all on me. You’re hurt because of me.” Komaeda swallows the piles upon piles of self-deprecation willing to spill out of his mouth. It’s not important right now. Hinata knows he should leave Komaeda, yet he hasn’t. He hasn’t, and that’s why it’s up to him to fix this.
The albino swallowed his pride and breathed out, “While we were.. Discussing our wedding plans, Koizumi told me that.. She told me that,” He can’t look Hinata in the eyes, let alone say the next part out-loud. “that I would make a good father.” He says quietly, “Well a-stay-at-home one but still- It implies that I would be the father of your child and that’d we’d be a family and, and-” He feels a warm hand take his. It’s calloused, rugged, and sometimes feels like sandpaper, yet he can’t imagine living without the feeling. When he feels his lover’s thumb rub the back of his hand, he finally lets himself breathe out. “It made me too happy. That’s all.” He finishes.
He dares not look up to see Hinata’s expression, he can imagine the disgust he’s wearing at the mere thought of being a father with Komaeda, hell, he’s most likely thinking about calling off, not just the wedding but the engagement as well.
It’s still silent. Only the howling of the wind and the gentle rocks of waves against stones can be heard. The thumb hasn’t stopped its gentle motions, going slowly up, then down – over and over again. “And that’s why?” Hinata finally asks.
Komaeda nods, still not lifting his head, “That’s why.”
Suddenly he hears a soft “pfft-” sound, then soft laughter. This causes Komaeda to look up. Hinata’s magnetism too strong for his own iron will. His fiancé’s mouth was curled up into a lazy smile, eyes closed and forehead cleared from any frustration he must’ve had. His shoulders are shaking at Komaeda’s confession. As his laughter dies down to chuckles, he opens his eyes and looks at Komaeda with such fervent affection, and love. So much so that Komaeda is almost taken aback. “What’s funny..?” He asks.
“Nothing..nothing..!” Hinata shakes his head, “It’s just, you avoided me because you were.. Too happy about our relationship?” Komaeda flushes, “Well when you put it like that..” He trails off, making Hinata start chuckling again. Enough so, that it made Komaeda start lightly laughing too. Possibly realizing how stupid the situation is, and how he really should learn that Hinata is his partner, as well.
Soon enough it’s 2:30 AM, and Hinata had tackled Komaeda and wrapped him in his arms. Relishing in the respective body heat of the other, the waves and wind once more communicate. Silence enveloping the cottage. “Actually..” Hinata says, “I agree with Koizumi.” The words are muted, since Hinata has his head enveloped in the crook of Komaeda’s neck. “You would be a great stay-at-home dad.”
Yet, despite all his troubles – Komaeda still hasn’t gotten used to the giddy feeling, and the statement now coming from the man he loves himself, makes it worse. It almost makes him want to kick his feet and twirl around. The keyword being: Almost. Instead he just sighs wistfully, “You’re not good for my heart, Hinata-kun.”