Archive of Our Own

EP 6 

Suddenly their friends walking by them and the sun of Shu Han shining down on them faded away. It was only them. Wylan pushed forward with determination and Jesper pushed back with equal force. When their lips met, both of their worries seemed to fade away. 

Jesper’s hand reached up to caress Wylan’s cheek and the cool metal sent a shock down his spine. It seemed like it ended far too soon. But when Wylan thought they were just going to continue walking, he was surprised to see Jesper pulling him in for a hug. 

He missed this. The feeling of Jesper’s arms around him. It felt solid. He felt him rock them side to side and closed his eyes, wanting to fully be in the moment. 

“You know-“ Jesper started, pulling away from the hug, “We have a lot to catch up on.”

Wylan raised an eyebrow, “Is that so?”

Jesper smiled, “And we should probably get started now.”

“Oh for sure.” Wylan grabbed Jesper’s purple tie and pulled him closer, connecting their lips again. His hand fell from the tie and gripped the front of Jesper’s jacket tightly. 

Jesper’s hand went back to Wylan’s cheek, rubbing his thumb across the skin. He heard Wylan sigh into it, and Jesper thought his heart was going to leap out of his throat. His other hand grounded them both by grabbing Wylan’s waist. 

He heard footsteps next to them, and definitely heard Kaz mumble something. But he was too focused on everything Wylan that he didn’t care.

This kiss lasted about as long as the previous one. Wylan hesitated for a moment before going in for another hug, burying his head under Jesper’s chin. From this angle it was more a side hug on Wylan’s part, but it was comforting nonetheless.

His arms came up around Wylan, resting on his shoulder and elbow. 

Jesper set his chin on Wylan’s head, “You okay?”

“Yeah. Much better now.”

He felt a kiss being placed into his hair, and he could feel his face started to heat up. It was getting darker around them, and they could see Inej and Kaz walking ahead of them. It was hard to tell exactly what they were saying, but they soon stopped to look at each other.

Jesper let out a soft snort, “Those two. Impossible, I tell you.”

“It’s crazy that they don’t realize how in love they are.”

“Oh they know, they just can’t accept it. Kaz has been in love with her for years.”

Wylan lightly giggled, “I didn’t know Kaz had that emotion.”

Jesper laughed as well, "Trust me, it shocked me too.”

They saw Inej start walking away, and a look on Kaz neither of them had seen before. 

Wylan frowned at the scene, "That obviously didn’t go well.” 

Jesper groaned, “Yearning Kaz is my least favorite Kaz. He’s so moody.”

“When isn’t he?” 

It seemed like he saw them staring and squinted his eyes at them, “Let’s go.” He didn’t wait for them and continued walking. 

Jesper let go of Wylan and set his hands on his hips, “Just so grumpy.”

Wylan smiled at him and took his hand, “Cmon, we shouldn’t make him any more grumpy.” He reached down to grab Jesper’s hand, but not before placing a quick kiss to his cheek. The two started walking in the direction of their friends and fell back into the normal conversation of the group.  

-

Much to Kaz’s dismay, they decided to stay the night at a nearby inn and head out for Ravka in the morning. 

They split up into separate rooms, Wylan and Jesper being the only ones to share. Jesper offered to the others to hang out for a bit before going to bed, but the others seemed far too tired from the fight to indulge. In the end Jesper understood, his throat was still sore and could probably pass out standing up. 

Wylan entered their room first, pulling his satchel off and placing it on a nearby chair. He worked on pulling off his shoes while Jesper looked around the room, tossing his hat in the dresser. 

The room was about what you’d expect from an inn in the middle of nowhere, but Jesper couldn’t complain. There was a bed, there was a roof over their head, it was enough for him. 

“Saints, that was not how I thought today would go.” Jesper commented, pulling his own shoes off. 

Wylan smiled as he folded his jacket and placed it on the dresser. He turned to Jesper, “Really? Meeting and taking a sword from a Saint not in your normal day to day life?”

“You say that but it’s actually not the first Saint I've met.” Jesper commented with a grin, pulling his vest and shirt off. 

He heard the bed creak behind him and then Wylan’s voice, “You know you never told me much about that job. Was she nice?”

Jesper shrugged, putting his guns and crawling into bed on Wylan’s left. “She was. It didn’t feel like she was this all powerful Saint, just a girl in trouble. I also made sure to note that it is also impossible to kidnap a living sun beam.”

Wylan looked at him confused, but he was far too tired to ask anything about that. Instead he just let out a sigh and leaded his head on Jesper’s shoulder. He started spinning one of the rings on his boyfriend’s finger, “Are you okay by the way? After that poison stuff.. I never really got to ask you what you saw.” His eyes widened quickly, “If you want to! You don’t have to, I don’t want to intrude on your personal business."

A hand around his shoulder eased his mind. Jesper’s voice was something more gentle, “I saw my Ma. She died when I was younger. But somehow it feels like I'm the only one who had a somewhat happy hallucination.”

“I’m sorry about your mother, mine also died when I was young.”

”It’s alright. I’m sorry about yours.”

Wylan cleared his throat before asking, “So.. the hallucination was nice?”

“It was. We shot apples.” Wylan looked up at him with furrowed eyebrows and Jesper continued, "She's the one who taught me how to shoot. You should’ve seen little Jesper out back trying to even hold the gun properly let alone actually hit the target.”

Wylan smiled at the thought. “It sounded like she was really nice.”

“She was. She would’ve liked you, you know?” He squeezed him tighter, “Would probably think you’re a good influence on me.” 

“I don’t know about that.”

“Sure you are! Kept me out of trouble this long.”

“Do I have to remind you what we were doing just a couple hours ago?”

Jesper opened his mouth to comment, but shut it a moment later. “True. But, at least we got a cool sword out of it.”

Wylan hummed, burying his head further into Jesper’s neck. There was a moment of silence between them, and normally Jesper would rather claw his eyes out than sit in silence, but this was actually nice.  After a moment Wylan spoke in a quieter tone, “I don't think Sankta Neyar was that bad.”

Jesper’s laugh was harsh against the quiet room, “Oh yeah she was very lovely when she was pulling the metal out of our blood.”

He was lightly hit on his thigh, “She was just protecting her husband!”

Jesper paused, “You know.. I can picture us like that someday.”

“With you as a Saint?”

“No-“ Jesper stopped himself and held up a finger, “Well.. I wouldn’t be opposed to that. But no, I meant me taking care of you when you get all old and wrinkly.”

Oh. Yeah, Wylan forgot that part of Jesper being a Grisha. There was no growing old together. He tried not to let it show and only smiled, "You're really going to put up with me for that long?”

Jesper a noise of displeasement, “Of course! Are you wanting to get rid of me that badly?”

“No! I was just saying you might get bored taking care of my wrinkly body. And it’d be unfair that I have to age when you can stay beautiful and young the entire time.”

“Wihile yes I will forever be this gorgeous, you will be such a cute old man. Plus, I could never be bored of you.” He picked up Wylan’s chin, making them hold eye contact. To further seal his words, he placed a soft kiss on his lips. It wasn’t rushed, or had any heat behind it, but purely a promise. Wylan seemed to understand the message, and let himself grin against the kiss.

As soon as they separated, Jesper let his head hit the pillow. Wylan joined him, laying his head on his chest. They laid in silence, allowing the room to fill with only the sound of their shared breathing. Wylan closed his eyes and felt his head rise and fall with every breath Jesper took. 

If life now meant waking up and falling asleep with Jesper Fahey, then Wylan had nothing to complain about. 

-

They both woke to the sound of near banging on their door. Jesper groaned, because he knew exactly where the noise was coming from. “Fuck off.” He grumbled, face halfway pushed into the pillow.

”Be out here in five minutes or we’re leaving you behind.” He could hear Kaz start walking away as soon as he got done speaking.

Jesper mumbled to himself, “Prick.” He forced his eyes to open and started sitting up in bed. He looked to his right, and saw his boyfriend still happily sleeping. How he managed to sleep through Kaz’s incessant knocking was beyond him. A part of him didn’t want to wake him up. He looked so peaceful. Wylan, who was normally always on edge, shoulders bunched with something always on his mind, now had his face almost in a pout while he slept soundly on his stomach. But he figured waking him up was the better option rather than being left behind- though he seriously doubted Kaz would actually leave them.

He lightly shook Wylan’s shoulder, and got no response. Jesper tried again, this time poking his cheek too for extra insurance. “Wakey wakey.”

Wylan groaned, just like he did moments ago. Right, Wylan was not a morning person whatsoever. Jesper had forgotten that little detail in the craziness of yesterday. The brunette barely cracked his eye open and looked at Jesper, “Mm go away.”

”Well aren’t you just my little ray of sunshine. Cmon, Kaz needs us. He’s threatening to leave us behind.” Jesper said as he started getting out of bed and moving to his clothes he left the night before.

He heard Wylan protest again, but the demolition expert slowly started sitting up. Jesper had buttoned his shirt back on when he turned around, noticing how Wylan was sitting, eyes still half open. Saints he looked gorgeous. How can someone look that beautiful after just waking up? He was pulled from his thoughts when he saw Wylan start getting out of bed and slowly walking to his clothes, “One of these days Kaz is going to actually let us sleep in.”

Jesper scoffed, putting on his vest, “I’m still waiting for that. But if you want you can sleep again on the way there, I wouldn’t mind.”

“Oh it’s okay, it just takes a second for me to wake up is all.”

”I can tell.”

Wylan shrugged on his coat and gave Jesper a glare to which Jesper smiled at. He walked over to the brunette and placed a kiss on his cheek, “You’re cute when you’re grumpy.”

“I hate you.” 

Jesper winked at him, “Sure. I’ll believe that when I see it.”

He could have sworn he heard Wylan mumble something under his breath, and laughed to himself while he put on his shoes. They finished getting dressed, Wylan quickly grabbing his satchel, and left their room.

EP 7

Wylan heard a thud as his head lightly hit the wall. Jesper had his hands on his waist and a look in his eyes that made Wylan want to melt. His knuckles were white as he pulled Jesper’s jacket to close the gap. It became too much. Jesper’s breath against his, his jacket in his hands, it was intoxicating. They were hiding in the small room underneath the stairs of the boat. It was cramped, but neither minded one bit.

Every time Jesper even moved back ever so slightly, Wylan chased him. Those perfect lips were against his and it was all he could think about. He groaned into the kiss, and Jesper thought he was going to pass out.

A hand came up by Wylan’s head, planted on the wall. Wylan’s hands started sneaking under Jesper’s shirt and let out a noise at the feeling of Jesper’s skin under his fingers. Wylan then grabbed his jacket again, and spun their positions. They broke apart and Jesper stared with his jaw dropped and head now against the wall. 

He opened his mouth to say something, but Wylan leaned back in. Though instead of going for his lips, he went for Jesper’s neck. 

This was heaven. Jesper could stay here forever if he could. With Wylan’s mouth on his jaw, hands back under his shirt, he didn’t know if he was going to be able to breathe properly after this. He let out an airy laugh, “Saints you’re perfect.”

Wylan responded by kissing harder, biting on the skin above his pulse point. “So pretty.”

Oh this was going to kill Jesper. He groaned, hands going up to Wylan’s hair and tugged. It seemed Wylan approved, because he started kissing harder and moved even closer into Jesper’s space- if that was even possible.

“You’re being awfully needy.” Jesper said, because he felt like if he didn’t speak he might start breaking down.

The kissing on his neck stilled for a moment and then resumed closer to his jaw, “I can stop.”

Jesper quickly tugged Wylan’s hair a little tighter, “No! No- I just.. surprised is all.”

Wylan pulled back and looked at him with a more solemn expression, “I was mad at you all day yesterday. I guess I missed you.” He started blushing, and his eyes went wide when he looked at Jesper’s neck, “Oh! Oh I’m so sorry. I didn’t-“

“It’s okay, love. I don’t mind it, I kind of love it.” He reached up to the back of Wylan’s neck and pulled him closer to kiss his forehead. He then bent down to kiss underneath his ear and whispered, “But now it’s my turn.”

Wylan let out a shuddered gasp at Jesper’s lips that did the same thing his own did moments ago. It was electric. He had no clue how, but it was like Jesper knew exactly what to do to make Wylan weak in the knees. He was sucking at Wylan’s collarbone when there was a knock outside.

“I hope you’ve got your clothes on in there, because Kaz needs us on the top deck.” Nina says from the other side.

Jesper grumbles against Wylan’s neck and lets his head drop on his shoulder, “I swear I’m going to shoot the next person that interrupts us.”

He could feel the vibrations of Wylan’s laugh against the side of his head, “We’ll get our alone time eventually. And I trust you’ll finish my turn?”

Jesper picked his head up, “Oh, you can count on it, darling.” He moved a stray hair away from Wylan’s eye and leaned in for one more kiss. And Saints did it feel good. They inevitably broke apart and they were already missing the warmth of the other.

The two walk out onto the deck and are immediately met with five pairs of eyes. Wylan looked between him and Jesper and he was so high off of their moment, neither of them considered how they looked.

Wylan’s hair was stuck up from the places Jesper had his hands in, and he knew he was bright red. Jesper had a massive grin on his face, hat more skewed than usual with his shirt a couple buttons open to reveal already blooming hickeys.

Nina let out a snort, “Saints you both are terrible.”

Jesper casually leaned against the railing, hand going around Wylan’s waist, “Don’t be jealous, Zenik. It’s not my fault I’ve got a gorgeous boyfriend, I mean can you blame me? Look at all this!” He waved his other hand in the vague direction of Wylan, who only had a smug smile on his face. 

Zoya rolled her eyes, “They did say the Kerch were affectionate.”

Inej let out a small laugh, Toyla giving Jesper a look. Jesper was about to open his mouth to say a comment back, but Kaz’s cane hitting the wood stopped him.  

“If you all are done entertaining this nonsense, we actually have a job to do.” 

Jesper rolled his eyes, and made an effort to bring Wylan impossibly closer to his side. Wylan returned the affection, wrapping his own arm gently on the small of his boyfriend’s back.

-

Wylan was in awe. He knew Jesper was Grisha, but actually seeing it in front of his eyes? It was something else. He’s seen Jesper while he was shooting, hitting all of those impossible shots while it didn’t even look like he broke a sweat. But here? Jesper looked just as confident, and it made Wylan’s heart swell. And if he was being honest with himself, Jesper looked very attractive while doing it. 

He wishes he could have done a bit more in the fight, but watching Jesper in his element was also okay with him. The final shot rang out, and it was like something snapped in him. He watched Jesper go to pick up one of his guns, and saw the other one laying near his feet.

By the time Jesper had grabbed it Wylan was in front of him, holding the gun out with a soft smile. 

Jesper’s expression softens instantly and brings Wylan in for a hug, not even caring about the gun. “Are you alright?”

Wylan laughs as he wraps his arms around him, “Yes, I’m fine. How about you? You were the one who just sliced off all those women’s fingers with your coat buttons.”

The Zemeni lets go of the hug with a sigh, and places his hands on his hips. He glanced at the now dead woman, “I don’t know it just.. happened. I haven’t done anything like that since I was little, and it definitely wasn’t cutting someone’s fingers off.” 

“What things did you do?”

“Turned coins into keys, pretty sure I melted the hinges off my Da’s stable door together. He was definitely not happy.”

”I can imagine.” Wylan said, putting the gun into Jesper’s other holster. 

There was a noise to their left, and Wylan nearly jumped out of his skin. But he let his shoulders relax when he realized it was only Toyla, running up to hug his sister. Jesper seemed to notice, and intertwined their fingers. They both followed the group away from the battlefield.

EP 8

The fight was a whirlwind of shouts and metal clinking. Wylan spent practically the entire fight crouched near the door throwing almost every smoke bomb he had. It didn’t seem like it was doing much, but neither were anyone else’s tactics. It was kind of hard hitting a shadow monster that could just appear and reappear and without the blade that was made to kill them. 

They tried though, and had managed to hold it off this long. It was currently fighting Kaz, who was trying his best to use his cane as some kind of shield. Toyla quickly came to his aid, and Wylan threw a smoke bomb in that general direction to hopefully fend it off. 

It vanished for a second, and they all stilled to prepare for its next location. What Wylan wasn’t ready for, was for it to appear in front of Jesper. It felt like his heart was going to leap out of his throat. He wasn’t going to let him get hurt from this. He already had blood dripping down from his nose, and that was plenty for Wylan’s liking.

Spectral hands- more like the vague shape of hands- started reaching out. Wylan moved without thinking, abandoning his satchel and running right for Jesper. He put himself between the shadow and Jesper, and only got a glimpse of his surprised expression before he felt himself getting lifted off the ground. The Nichevo’ya lifted him higher, and sent him flying slightly to the left and back straight into the wall.

It was hard to tell if he blacked out or not. The feeling of his pounding head and the constricting feeling in his lungs overpowered any ability to hear anything around him. Then the feeling was gone, and he felt himself falling.

Jesper could’ve sworn he blinked and Wylan went from being right in front of him to on the ground to his right. He was laying on his side, too still for his liking. 

He threw himself in the way. It should be Jesper laying on the ground right now, not Wylan. This wasn’t supposed to happen. He promised himself he wasn’t going to let himself lose someone else important to him, but he failed. 

Without even thinking otherwise, his feet were moving. The sounds of the fight or the Nichevo’ya were now useless to him. Nothing else mattered except for getting to Wylan.

As soon as he was close enough he dropped to his knees. To his worst fear, Wylan’s expression was slack and his eyes were closed. He could see his chest rising and falling, but the sight of his eyes shut made him sick.

”Cmon Wylan, don't do this to me. I can’t lose you too.” Jesper hated how fragile his voice sounded. All the fear and desperation in his voice made him want to cringe, but he couldn’t seem to care.

There was still no response from Wylan, and he pulled his boyfriend closer to him. With his head now in his lap, he could see the blood now on the concrete ground. Shit. He should’ve checked sooner. He looked over the rest of Wylan and was realized to see no more injuries, at least that he could tell. 

Wylan was a naturally paler person, but he definitely looked paler now. “Love please, please wake up.” He ran his thumb underneath Wylan’s eye.

Finally, after what felt like years, there was finally movement in Wylan’s face. He saw his nose twitched for a moment, and his eyebrows scrunch together. Then his eyes opened, and Jesper thought he was going to cry from pure relief.

”Jesper?” His voice sounded unsure, eyes wide now as his mind started catching up with what happened. 

Jesper pulled Wylan into a tight hug, “Oh Saints, Saints never do that to me again. I thought- why would you do that?”

Wylan pulled away from the hug in confusion, “I had to. I couldn’t let you get hurt.”

”Well now it was you that got hurt!”

He winced at the louder voice, and it didn’t go unnoticed by Jesper. “I’m fine, Jes.”

”You’re literally bleeding, love.” Jesper gently ran his hand through Wylan’s hair, and avoided the area he knew he was bleeding from.

Wylan put his hand over his boyfriend’s, “I’m okay, I promise.” He moved as best he could to sit himself up and lean his back against the wall.

”Just don’t do that to me again, yeah? Almost sent me into an early grave there.” Jesper joked, moving his hand down to caress Wylan’s cheek.

Suddenly there was a much brighter light in the room, and they both figured Alina had actually done it. This was supposed to be an incredibly pivotal moment, but neither of them really cared. Jesper only gave the scene a small glance before focusing all of his attention back on Wylan.

He furrowed his eyebrows, “Anything hurt? What can I do?”

To his own surprise, Wylan laughed a little, “Relax, Jesper. I’m not going to collapse on the spot.” He started making an attempt to stand, and suddenly the whole world started tilting and spinning. Wylan had to squeeze his eyes shut to not risk passing out.

Jesper’s hands caught Wylan’s, “Here, let me help.” He allowed Jesper to help him to his feet, and as  soon as they got to a standing position, Wylan nearly went tumbling forward.

Of course, Jesper was there in a second, moving Wylan’s arm so it was around his shoulder. The other stays around his own stomach, that feeling in his lungs still not fully gone.

They just stood there for a moment, allowing for Wylan to fully focus on the room around him. Everyone looked as lost as he felt. He caught Kaz’s eyes, which to this surprise were already looking in his direction. The Barrel boss gave him a quick nod, an eyebrow almost quirking up in question. 

Wylan gave him a small smile, and tried his best to nod back. It was a short one, but hopefully it got his message across.

People started leaving the room, Jesper and Wylan the last ones to exit. The sun was then suddenly shining down on them and it only made the spinning worse. Wylan suppressed a wince at the sudden light change. 

Jesper took notice. He leaned closely, almost whispering in his ear, “You doing okay?”

Wylan didn’t have the energy to save anything, just looking up at Jesper.

“Just sit for a second.” He pointed at the crate next to them and Wylan reluctantly sat down. Jesper didn’t move far, coming over to Wylan’s right and moving his hand to run through the demolition expert’s hair.

Wylan leaned into it, resting his head lightly on Jesper’s hip. Saints he was exhausted. All he wanted to do was curl up in the nearest bed and pass out for a whole month.

If he was being honest he didn’t pay attention to anything the people around him were saying. With the pounding in his head, and the feeling of Jesper’s hand in his hair, he was content with just closing his eyes for a moment.

-

After multiple attempts to say he was fine, Wylan was being dragged by Jesper to a healer. Tamar had told them about one of their friends that could heal them for free and while Wylan tried to object, Jesper wanted to be sure.

Jesper held him by the hand and walked them over to the healer, who was currently sitting on a barrel in the corner of this large open area they were in. He looked to be working with Toyla, healing a cut on his arm. 

“Jes, I already told you I'm fine!”

“Nonesense, we must get that head of yours checked out.” He turned to the man, “Are you a healer?”

The man’s eyes lit up, “I am! Are either of you injured?”

Jesper lightly pushed Wylan forward, “My boyfriend here hit his head, and is being awfully stubborn about it.”

“If it’s a head injury I should definitely make sure it’s not a concussion. It shouldn’t take me long, I’ll get to you as soon as I’m done with this young man.” 

“Hey, Toyla.” Wylan said, “Is your arm alright?”

“Oh it’s nothing. I was sure it would heal on its own but Tamar would have had my head if I didn’t at least get it checked out.”

“I know the feeling.”

“Hey! I’m right here!” Jesper exclaimed.

Wylan put his hand on his boyfriend’s arm, “And I thank you for the attention. But you can go, I don’t want to keep you held up here.”

Jesper frowned, “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure, I'll find you later.”

There was hesitation but Jesper still nodded, “Okay. You come find me immediately after though.” He held a finger in Wylan’s face, to which the demolition expert laughed at.

Wylan playfully rolled his eyes, “Yes sir.”

Jesper grinned and leaned in to place a quick kiss on Wylan’s lips. With a wink Jesper was gone.

The healer gestured to the barrel to Toyla’s right, “You can sit there for a second, I'll be done with him in a moment.”

Wylan nodded and sat down, “Thank you.”

“You’re lucky to have him.” Toyla said after a few seconds of silence, eyeing Wylan.

“Yeah, yeah he’s amazing.”

Toyla squinted his eyes, “It doesn’t sound like you believe that.”

Wylan immediately started stuttering, “Oh no! No no, it's nothing like that. He really is incredible, it's just.. I don’t-“

”Know how to handle it sometimes?”

The demolition expert sagged his shoulders, “Yes. This is the first time I’ve had anything like this with anybody and I don’t want to mess it up. He’s so good to me and I’m just not used to the attention.” 

“I can understand that. I don’t know everything about your story, but you deserve him. You weren’t awake to see how panicked he was back in the cathedral. I thought his heart was going to explode with how fast it was beating.”

Wylan looked down and picked at his nails, “I just feel bad about it. It’s not his fault, and I hope he never thinks that it is. He is so good, so why can’t I see that?”

“You will, in time.”

“But when?”

Toyla sighed. He reached inside his light blue vest and pulled out a small brown bag, holding it out to Wylan, “Walnut?” Wylan shook his head, to which Toyla happily popped one in his mouth. After a moment he shrugged, “Love can be hard. There is no set way to indulge in it, and it will not always be easy. But you both will find your way. I’ll spare you the many poems I have all about love and its redeeming qualities.”

Wylan let out a quick laugh, “I’d love to hear them someday.”

Toyla smiled, and was going to say something before the healer lightly tapped his arm, “You’re all set, young man.”

”Thank you kind sir. I‘ll be finding Tamar now,” He got up and looked over to Wylan, “Take care of yourself, Wylan. And here, if you ever need the great insight of the many poets before us.” He reached into his vest again and pulled out a small leather bound book.

Wylan stared at him for a moment, face burning a light pink. He offered him a small smile, “Thank you, Toyla.” He grabbed the book, and put it in his satchel.

Toyla offered the man one more smile, before turning to the healer and nodding his head. Wylan sat in his previous position and let the healer work.

His mind drifted to the poem book. It should’ve made him feel terrible, the thought of even attempting to read that. But he wanted to see its contents, and he knew he wasn’t on his own anymore. He could ask Jesper to read it to him and Jesper being the kind and supportive person he is, would probably agree- or so he hoped. When they had the time, he’d ask Jesper.

It wasn’t going to be his burden anymore. He wasn't going to let it.

-

Wylan was finally able to think without the pain in his head overriding any thought he had. The ache in his ribs was still present, but it was bearable now. He looked around, trying to find the familiar face of the Zemeni man he knew all too well, but frowned when he was nowhere to be seen. Wylan was just getting looked over by a healer which didn’t take long, so Jesper couldn't have gone very far.

He started walking. Not with a sense of direction, hoping to find Jesper but also to just clear his head. He neared a corner, and swore he heard crying. Slowing down his pace, he eased into the space and let out a small gasp at the sight.

Jesper was sitting on a large rock, hat and jacket abandoned, hunched over himself crying. Wylan approached slowly, not wanting to scare his already upset boyfriend.

“Jes? What’s wrong?”

His boyfriend’s head shot up, and he quickly worked to rub his face, “Oh it's nothing, I’m fine.”

Wylan moved closer until he was standing right in front of him, crouching down to be on his level. “I don’t really believe you.”

Jesper let out a pained laugh that sounded more like a small sob. His eyes filled with new tears, “Inej isn’t coming back to Ketterdam.”

”Oh, Jesper.” He brought his arms around him, and encased him in a tight hug. Jesper let out more tears, and Wylan could feel the tears hit his shoulder. “Shh it’s alright. We’ll be okay.”

”I can’t lose her. I already almost lost you.”

”You didn't lose me, and you aren’t losing her. This is Inej we’re talking about. She'd never just leave and be done with you forever.”

Jesper gripped the back of Wylan’s jacket tightly, letting the feeling of the fabric beneath his fingers ground him in the moment. The tears subsided and pulled away from the hug. He wiped his face again and eyed Wylan, “How's the head?”

Wylan wanted to say something about him changing the subject, but he would let it slide this time. Some things were just too hard to talk about that- Wylan of all people understood that. He sighed, “Fine, it’s bearable. So you can stop being so worrisome now.”

”Aww but I thought I was going to shower you with attention and kisses?”

”You aren’t going to do that anyway?”

Jesper lightly scoffed, “Well doesn’t someone think he’s special. But yes, I was.” He reached out to hold Wylan’s chin, and he had to physically stop himself from crying any more. He could’ve lost this. He was that close to losing the goodness that is Wylan. No- He thought, You didn’t lose him. 

To solidify his thought, he leaned in to kiss Wylan gently. He didn’t put any heat into it, that not being what he wanted to focus on. He wanted to focus on the feeling of Wylan being here, his lips and his. Though he was positive Wylan was starting to add a certain push of heat. 

Wylan slowly started rising from his kneeled position, and in a moment of thinking pushed Jesper down on the rock while never breaking the kiss. He put his hand between Jesper’s head and the rock, sighing at the thought of just being able to kiss him again.  

Saints the rock was so uncomfortable but Jesper couldn’t even find an ounce of care. He pushed back with equal fire now, hands moving under Wylan’s jacket to his hips. 

The pounding in Wylan’s head came back, and he tried to squeeze his eyes to make the pain go away, but it seemed to only make it worse. He didn’t want to stop kissing Jesper, but he feared that if he didn’t he might pass out on top of him. He smiled against the kiss and pushed himself up to walk away.

Jesper laid there and looked at his boyfriend with wide eyes, “Where are you going?”

“Oh nowhere really. Nikolai said he’d have a place for us to stay so we should probably head over there.” Wylan said with a knowing look on his face, already walking from where he came. 

Jesper got up and followed him, “That was evil. First time we were alone and you have to be all smug about it.”

Wylan squeezed his nose bridge, hoping for it to come across naturally, “I think you’ll live. We’ll have plenty of time when we get home.” Suddenly it became too much for a moment. Maybe it was the exhaustion hitting him or the movement of rounding a corner but the world spun again, and he lost track of his footing.

In an instant Jesper was there, holding his elbow while Wylan tried to hold the wall for stability. All of the playfulness in Jesper’s expression vanished as he looked at Wylan like he was going to melt away right in front of him. 

“Are you alright?”

Wylan tried to nod his head, but it only made things worse. “I’m okay, guess I just got dizzy there for a sec.”

“Here, let’s go take up all mighty Prince Nikolai on his room offer.” He started to guide Wylan to start walking, but he was stopped by Wylan tensing.

“I’m fine. I can walk by myself.” Wylan’s voice was harsher than he intended it to be. His eyes went a little wider as he expected Jesper to yell at him for snapping, but none of that came. He was only met with an expression of worry. It made his heart break. He wasn’t used to this, he didn't know this. How was he supposed to respond to kindness when he has been used to hate since he was little?

Jesper seemed to notice and put a hand on his shoulder, “Hey, hey it’s okay. I’m just here if you need me.”

Wylan’s expression softened, and he started walking back to the others. Jesper didn’t say anything, and he didn’t touch him, but he was right next to him for every step. 

-

Jesper wasn’t used to being away from the fun. He was always at the center of it, ready with a drink in hand and a positive attitude to party all night long. But tonight was different. He could hear his friends chatting and laughing in the other room, but he couldn’t seem to will his legs to move.

The original plan was for him and Wylan to find a room and pass out for the night. But they got distracted by the liveliness of their friends around them. Jesper had lost Wylan a few moments after getting there, but after a bit of searching he found him sharing a drink with Inej and Nikola, and decided not to bother.  

He couldn’t seem to find himself enjoying the atmosphere around him. The room was too loud and he was so tired his eyes hurt. So that’s where he is now, laying on the couch with his hat covering his eyes, arms under his head to act as a pillow. He was currently in that weird state between being asleep and just closing his eyes, but the feeling of just laying there was nice. 

It was hard to tell how long he just laid there, but after a while he could hear footsteps getting closer to him. He didn’t bother looking, just continuing to keep his eyes closed. There was then a weight on top of him, and he should’ve been alarmed by it- and he was for a moment, but relaxed almost immediately after. A certain smell filled his nose, one that he’s gotten used to.

You could say Jesper was weird for recognizing how Wylan smelt. But when you’re around someone for so long you start noticing the smaller things like that. He smelled strongly of cinnamon. He didn’t know how Wylan smelt that way, but he wasn’t complaining. It reminded Jesper of when his mother would bake for him. 

Wylan’s arms wrapped around Jesper’s neck and buried his head between Jesper and the couch. Jesper lazily smiled and brought his own arms to wrap around his boyfriend’s back.

“Well hello.” Jesper said, pushing his hat up to be barely above his eyes. 

He could feel Wylan smile against his skin, voice muffled, “Hi, I didn't wake you did I?”

”Nah I wasn’t even sleeping. How’s the party out there?” 

Wylan huffed, “Exhausting. Nina tried to get Zoya to do a drinking contest with her, I didn’t stick around to see the outcome.”

Jesper snorted, “Of course she did.” He started running one of his hands through Wylan’s hair. It was tangled from their adventures but he took care in making sure not to pull too hard. “How’s your head?”

His boyfriend let out a hum, "I'm okay, the pain mostly gone now. Though I could honestly sleep for a whole month at this point.”

“I might take you up on that offer.” Jesper said, letting his eyes shut again. 

They sat in comfortable silence after that. Neither said anything, because neither felt like they had to. After a moment, Jesper’s eyebrows furrowed as he opened his eyes, “You know I am quite curious to see what’s in store for us when we get back. With Inej gone Kaz will probably be in a pissy mood, but we could still have fun. I could take you to this waffle place that I heard opened up not too far from your workshop actually. Would you like that?”

No response. He craned his head as much as he could to look down, “Darling?” Wylan still didn't respond. Jesper confusingly moved some of the man’s hair behind his ear, and saw the reason for his silence. Wylan had fallen asleep, and was now letting out small puffs of air as he exhaled. His breath even, face relaxed.

Jesper smiled and put an arm back in its original position behind his head, while the other still scratched lightly at Wylan’s scalp.

-

It was killing Jesper to sit still. His body itched to get up and do something, but Wylan was finally sleeping, he didn’t dare attempt to move him. He worried about him. Ever since the fight in the cathedral Wylan hadn’t said much, and he always looked like he was a strong breeze away from collapsing. He absolutely didn’t think Wylan was weak, he was one of the strongest people he knew, but he could tell when his limit had been reached. They’ve gone through a lot in the span of a couple days and couldn’t blame him for being tired. He was perfectly content with laying here with him and falling asleep together.

That was until he heard that familiar cane. Sure enough, walking into the room was Kaz.

“I trust you’re both doing well here.” 

“Is that your way of asking us if we’re okay?”

Kaz glared at him, “Whatever helps you sleep at night.” He looks to the ground, “But yes I suppose.”

Jesper moved his arm from behind his head to place his hand over his heart dramatically, “Aw boss, I'm touched.” He then added, “But we’re about as good as we can be.”

“Wylan has seen a healer?”

Jesper nodded.

“Good.”

The Zemeni snorted, “It really is amusing seeing you try to convey normal human emotions.”

Kaz looked back up at him, “Just be glad he’s sleeping on you right now and I can’t slit your throat.”

Jesper looked at Kaz strangely, and the two fell into a silence. The only sound was Wylan’s soft breathing. After a moment Jesper broke it, “So, I assume you know about Inej.”

“Yes.”

“It’ll be weird without her.”

“We’ll manage.”

It was Jesper’s turn to glare, “You know are terrible at lying when it comes to her. It’s okay to admit you’ll miss her, you won’t keel over and die.”

Kaz’s nose twitched ever so slightly, “Don’t push your luck.”

Over the years Jesper had gotten good at Kaz. He knew his words were a facade, real care was hidden under there somewhere. He remembers seeing a flash of worry on his face when Wylan was unconscious in the cathedral, and he’s seen the same expression multiple times in regards to him or Inej. So he could tell it was there now, even if he won’t admit.

“I assume that big brain of yours already has an idea for what we’re going to do when we get back to Ketterdam?” Jesper said.

To that Kaz lightly shrugged, “I’m sure there will be something waiting for us there. That is, if you’re still with me.”

Jesper’s face turned into one of confusion, “What? Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Kaz didn’t say anything, only eyeing Wylan. A hint of anger overtook Jesper’s expression, “We’re both in this. He hasn’t told me otherwise.” Whether he meant to or not the hand in Wylan’s hair tightened ever so slightly. 

”Before you start that wasn’t what I was insinuating. You’ve found a lover, I don’t want you getting distracted.”

”Wylan isn’t a distraction.”

”I never said he was.”

”But you just-“

Kaz took a singular step closer, “I’m just trying to warn you ahead of time. While you think what you’ve found is the best part of your life, others might take advantage of that.”

Jesper smiled and shook his head in disbelief, “More subtle caring? You’re on a roll today, boss.” His expression suddenly turned sour, “But you’re right. I know he’s capable but Saints, I thought I was going to have a heart attack in that cathedral.”

”That is exactly my point. I can’t have you being hopeless lovers while on the job, I need my gunslinger and demolitions expert focused.”

”Okay seriously this is getting concerning how nice you’re being. Did I do something?”

Kaz sighed, “Look after each other. I find out you’ve treated him wrongly and it might be that horrid hat collection that goes.”

Jesper’s eyes widened slightly, “Noted.”

His boss starts walking away and says over his shoulder, “We leave at eleven bells tomorrow.”

Jesper nodded, “Thanks, Kaz. For a very strange but oddly comforting talk.”

Kaz grumbled something as he walked away, but Jesper could tell there was a hint of a smile there. For a moment he just continued to lay there and stare up at the ceiling. He then slowly starts to move to sit up. Knowing how hard Wylan sleeps, he is able to pick him up in his arms bridal style and carry them to their room without the man even stirring. 

He deposited him on the bed gently, going to lay next to him not long after. He made sure to rid himself of his shirt and laid in the bed with his limbs sprawled out. It was then he realized truly how tired he was. His muscles ached, and the bed was so soft. Wylan’s naturally cool skin was against his, and he decided to pull the blanket up to cover both of them.

With a kiss on the forehead he whispered, “Good night, my love.”

-

The trip back to Ketterdam was long. Inej’s absence loomed over all of them, especially Kaz. He stays in the lower decks and rarely comes up.

Nina now sits on the top deck, skirt moving with the wind. She is paying attention to nothing in particular, mind wandering. It wasn’t until she heard footsteps to her left that she actually paid attention to the world around her. She looks up to see Wylan.

”Need some company?” He says, offering her a small smile.

Nina happily pats the spot next to her, “Of course, you’re always welcome.”

Wylan takes a seat next to her and lets out a breath, looking out beyond the boat.

”Where’s that boyfriend of yours? I just assume you both are conjoined at the hip at this point.” Nina jokes.

He blushes, and looks behind him, “He’s probably talking Kaz’s ear off. The boat is kinda stressing him out.”

That sounded about right. If Nina knew anything about Jesper Fahey, it was that he hated sitting still. She snorted, “I’m surprised he hasn’t shot anything yet.”

”Let’s not give him any ideas.” 

The two share a laugh, and Nina notices a part of her relaxes that she didn’t even know was tense. It felt good, laughing freely like this. Her mind has been plagued with thoughts of Matthias that she felt like she hasn’t allowed herself to fully let herself go.

As the laughter dies down Wylan looks over to her, “So, do you have any plans when we get back to Ketterdam?”

She leans back on her palms, “Oh everything and nothing. Kaz said he’d help me with breaking Matthias out but who knows when that will actually happen.”

The expression on Wylan turns more solemn, “I’m sorry, Nina. I hope you’re able to get him back.”

Nina set her hand over Wylan’s, “You don’t have to apologize, it wasn’t your fault was it? Best we can do now is work to get him back- oh and get waffles. We are getting waffles when we get back.”

Wylan’s eyes went wide, “O- Oh okay! Yeah, that would be nice.”

When Nina was about to open her mouth to say something else, there was the sound of a door being swung open. The sound of it hitting the wooden wall made Wylan jump slightly.

Jesper was at the door and was now walking out with a large grin on his face. Though his smile seemed to soften when his eyes landed on Wylan.

He heard Nina snicker from beside him, “He’s like a lost puppy.”

Wylan gave her a look, and in the time it took for him to look from her back to Jesper, he was already nearly to them. Once he got to them, he laid his back on the wooden deck and put his head in Wylan’s lap. “Are you guys gossiping about me?”

Nina rolled her eyes, “Hardly. Me and Wylan were actually just discussing the waffles we were going to eat when we get back to Ketterdam.”

”Oh I am so coming along!”

Wylan playfully scoffed, “You can’t just invite yourself!”

”Says who?” Jesper exclaimed. 

“Says us, of course.” She links her arm with Wylan’s and gives it a quick pat.

Jesper frowns, “How dare you. I’m hurt, sunshine.”

Nina and Wylan share a look and start giggling. Wylan then looks down at Jesper and runs his thumb along the sharpshooter’s hairline, “I’m kidding, Jes, of course you can come with. If that’s okay with Nina.” 

”Yes, yes obviously. But if you’re going to be this gross the entire time I might just have to go solo. It’s nauseating- in an endearing way.”

Jesper has to strain his head back to look at Nina, “Thank you? My love has never been described as nauseating but I’ll take it.” He moves back to smile at Wylan, “You hear that, Wy? We’re nauseating.”

Wylan scrunches his nose when he smiles, and Jesper thinks it’s probably the most adorable thing he’s ever seen. Whether he intends to or not, he mimics it as he moves his head up, and Wylan follows by moving down.

Their kiss is quick, noting the person next to them. But Nina still has something to say about it, “Oh barf! Go back under the stairs if you’re going to do that.”

Jesper gave her a sly look, “If that disgusted you I seriously suggest you never walk by our room.”

Wylan went bright red as Nina started laughing. He slapped Jesper’s chest lightly, “Jesper! Don’t be gross.” His mind tried not to wander to Jesper saying ‘our room’ and just settled on the sight of his boyfriend smirking up at him

“I speak my truth, love.”

That’s how it is the rest of the trip to Ketterdam. The top deck is filled with the sound of their laughter, and end up just talking with each other the whole way back.

+ 1

Wylan is home. He never thought he could say that. In his childhood, and then in the Barrel, nowhere truly felt like home. That was until now. He glanced at his nightstand and saw his key. His nightstand. His key. Jesper’s room was now their room. 

They lay on their bed, Wylan’s head pillowed by Jesper’s chest. The room was warm, and the oil lamps made a light orange glow through the room. Neither of them were necessarily sleeping but just enjoying each other’s company. 

Wylan suddenly bolted up, “Oh! I’ve been meaning to show you something.” He got up out of bed and started digging around in his satchel. 

Jesper sat up and watched as his boyfriend digs in his bag. He couldn’t help but smile at the image of Wylan in his shirt. The idea of him in his room- their room now- and in his shirt, he can get used to it. 

He was broken from his thoughts when Wylan got back in bed, leather bound book in his hand. “It’s a poetry book.” With the confused look he was getting from Jesper, he quickly added, “Toyla gave it to me while we were getting healed. I know I can’t- I was hoping you could read it to me. If you wanted to, of course.”

There was a shine to Jesper's eyes as he grabbed Wylan’s hand, “I would be honored, love.”

Wylan relaxed a bit, and rested his head on Jesper’s shoulder. As his boyfriend opened the book, he could see the words start jumbling together, but it didn’t stress him out now. There was no reason for him to be now. Not when Jesper was here and he wasn’t judging him.

Jesper started flipping through pages, just glancing before fully reading it. In the middle of flipping to the third page he stopped, noticing something on the second. 

It seemed like Wylan took notice and looked up and he was confused, “What?”

“There’s something written on this page.”

“Yeah Jes that’s kind of the point.”

”No- No I know that. I mean there’s something else, looks like Toyla must’ve written it.” He smiled at it.

Wylan still looked confused, “What does it say?”

For you there’ll be no crying.

For you the Sun with be shining,

And I feel it when I’m with you. 

It’s alright, I know it’s right.

And the songbirds are singing 

Like they know the score.

And I love you, I love you, I love you

Like never before.

For my kind friends, Wylan and Jesper. May these words have as great an impact on you as you have on me.

Jesper read it slowly, making sure Wylan got every word he was saying. When he finished he looked to see Wylan staring at the paper, a smile tugging on his lips.

”That was kind of him.” Wylan said after a moment.

Jesper blinked, still staring at the words, “Yeah- yeah it’s really nice. Do you want me to keep reading?”

”Please, if you want.”

Jesper smiled, and turned the page to read another, but stopped. He spoke in a more hushed tone, “Thank you, by the way.”

”For what?” Wylan asks.

”Trusting me. You don’t ever have to be ashamed, you know. You can always come to me.”

Wylan moved so his mouth was against Jesper’s shoulder, hoping to hide his large smile. He then moved back to lay his cheek there, “I used to, but I do trust you. I know you won’t judge me or do anything just because I can’t.”

Jesper let out a surprised huff, “Who would do anything to you?”

For a moment it felt like Wylan's heart stopped. He quickly wrapped his arms around Jesper’s bicep and let out his own small laugh, “Oh yeah no, I just appreciate that you are there for me. That’s all.” He spoke a bit quicker than he wanted to, but he hoped his even voice didn’t raise any suspicions.

Thankfully for him it didn’t seem like Jesper noticed anything, only patting Wylan’s hands on his bicep quickly before going back to the book. 

Wylan forced himself to pay attention to Jespe’s voice instead of his own gnawing in his head. He knew Jesper was supportive about him not being able to read, but him being a mercher’s son? He had no clue. But that was a conversation for another day. Today he just wanted to focus on what he had in front of him now. Finally, finally a good thing was happening in his life and he didn’t want his father ruining that. 

That was how he fell asleep. To the sound of his boyfriend’s voice, in his bed, with the normal noises of Ketterdam muffled outside.