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“How the fuck did it get in there?” Mark asked, slipping on his gloves and wrapping a Mask around the lower half of his face.
“I don’t know just get it out!” Jack called from his hiding spot behind a nearby tree.
“It’s just a bat, Jack. It’s actually kind of cute.”
“Those things carry rabies, dude.”
“Look,” Mark pointed inside of Jack’s car where a small bat sat in his back seat and munched on an Oreo that he had found God knows where, “you can’t tell me that’s not cute.”
“Yeah, okay. Cool. Just get it out, okay? I’m going to be late for work.”
Mark chuckled as he walked around the car and opened every door. Then he broke off a long branch from the tree that Jack was using as a shield.
“Wait!” he called, causing Mark to still and look back over to him, “You’re not going to hurt the little guy, are you? He was just looking for a bedtime snack!”
Mark blinked, “Bedtime snack?”
“It’s morning for us, so he should be going to sleep soon, right?”
“I’m not going to hurt him.” Mark said, “Super unhealthy bedtime snack for a bat, though.”
“Let him make his own life choices and get him out of my car!”
“Fine, fine.” Mark said, waving the stick a bit, “I’m going.”
Half an hour, several screams, and a bloody nose later, the bat dipped out of the car and flew off to find shelter for the day.
Jack was holding his stomach laughing and Mark was holding a bleeding nose.
“Come on,” Jack said through his laughter, “You need to visit a doctor. Bats seriously carry rabies so we need to get checked since it kicked your ass with your own stick. We can get a flu shot while we’re there.”
Mark glared, “It did not kick my ass.” he grumbled, annoyed.
“But it did.”
“Fuck off, Jack. The next time a bat gets stuck in your car you’re on your own.”