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Yao Ting Yí had been living as a widow for 26 years, so she certainly never thought she’d be seeing her husband again. But even in her most hopeful dreams and wildest imaginings, she never could have predicted the situation and the circumstances in which she did see him again. Which is to say, in World Prime Minister Eva Stratt’s home (which was a tiny, cheap apartment in San Francisco, of all things), after signing an NDA to be allowed in with her daughter, who due to relativity was old enough to be a sister to her own father. And if anyone had told her that she’d be spending her first night with her husband in 26 years on a futon in the aforementioned World Prime Minister’s living room because her husband had separation anxiety from the crew he’d just spent over four years with (and an alien), then she would have laughed in your face, grace and poise be damned. He usually couldn’t wait to get away from his crewmates after however long trapped with them on a mission during his days with the CNSA.
But here they were, with him looking barely older than the day she’d last seen him as he grabbed her hands like he had when they were courting and very formally and tenderly declared in Mandarin, “Hello, beloved. I have missed you. Come, meet our new children.”
_____________
Eva Stratt sat up in her bed, Ryland Grace curled up into her side, fast asleep, sandwiched between her and Iluykhina. The alien sat at the end of the bed, threatening its structural integrity, but she wasn’t terribly worried about it since she was currently browsing Zillow for a place that had enough room to house her, Grace, and apparently also Ilyukhina, with a large open yard to build a biodome for the alien and a guest house for Yao and his family, since it didn’t seem like he’d be comfortable separating from the others anytime soon.
“You know, I really just wanted you back,” she whispered to him in German. “You didn’t have to pack-bond with the riff-raff.” She sighed fondly and looked at the next listing.
“Don’t like that one,” Ilyukhina muttered, barely looking up from her brand-new phone. “My bedroom needs to be on the same floor as Ry’s.”
“Yes, thank you for your input, Olesya,” Eva sighed. “Please be as picky as you’d like; it’s not as if it’s already difficult to find a three-bedroom house with a guest house and a large backyard in San Francisco."
“I saved Earth, thank you very much. I will be as picky as I like.”
“Dr. Grace saved Earth; you were also there,” Eva snarked.
“Ah, but I was there. I’m staying with Ry, and I have my demands. We’ll also need guest bedroom for my dad, by the way.”
“Of course- should I make sure there’s an omelet bar in the kitchen as well?” The German asked sarcastically.
“Oh, that’s actually good idea,” Ilyukhina remarked, choosing to ignore her tone. “Add to list.”
Eva sighed and would have pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration if it wouldn’t have disturbed the sleeping microbiologist.
“Okay,” she sighed. “I’ll do my best. Rocky?” She turned to the alien, who, although he didn’t have eyes, definitely gave the impression that he was ‘watching’ Grace sleep. “Do you have any input on our new abode, or are you staying silent other than to yell at me for sending your human to space?”
“No talk, only yell,” the translator replied back. “Understand necessity of mission, but dislike dislike dislike that Grace brother Sunny Commander would have died without Rocky fuel. Grace brother says is okay to feel feelings even if not make sense. Rocky still feel feelings now. Talk to Tsarina when done. Also, Grace brother Eridian now. Rocky adopt, past tense. Humans still have Sunny Commander because Rocky very very generous; you welcome.”
“I understand, Rocky, but there are going to have to be some negotiations around that last part. You are more than welcome to ‘feel your feelings’, but you cannot just unilaterally adopt the most important human on the planet,” Eva explained, trying to keep her voice patient. She also shot a glare at Ilyukhina just for good measure; she knew whose idea her translator name must have been.
“Is only on planet because of Rocky. Also, is only legal designation- cannot take Grace brother to Erid; gravity is too strong for Grace blood-pump organ. Bad bad bad. So Grace brother Eridian on Earth, statement.”
“Okay, let’s table this discussion.” Eva was unwilling to concede it entirely, but she wasn’t going to win that argument unless she and the alien built up some more goodwill, which she currently lacked.
“Rocky get on table to talk- why, question?” He tilted his carapace at her in an expression that was very human, and Eva idly wondered if it was learned or if they happened to have similar body language on his home planet. Probably the former; Grace certainly tilted his head at the same angle whenever he was confused about something.
“It’s just figure of speech; it means we’ll talk about it later,” Ilyukhina laughed.
“Okay. Rocky win argument later, statement,” the alien agreed.
Eva sighed again. All the aliens that may exist across the galaxies, and her scientist had to bring back the sassy rock.
______
Ryland rolled over in his old bed and smiled. Eva was already up, but Ilyukhina was still drooling into the pillow next to him.
“Grace awake, question?” Rocky asked, and Ryland nodded.
“Good morning. Rocky stay, watch Sunny until Sunny wake up. Grace will be okay with scary Tsarina, question?”
“Yeah Rocks, I’ll be fine. She’s not actually scary, you know. I think you’ll like her once you get to know her,” the scientist teased his alien buddy, tapping fondly on the top of his suited carapace.
“Impossible,” Rocky rebutted. “Tsarina want to steal Grace from Rocky; bad bad bad human!”
“It’s not stealing, Rocks. It’s called sharing. You know, like how resources on Erid are communal?”
“Grace compare self to resource, question?” Rocky wiggled his limbs quizzically.
“If it prevents an interterrestrial incident, then yeah, sure. Communal resource,” Grace agreed easily. “Oh, I should put that on a t-shirt!” He wandered lazily towards his old closet, and was delighted to find that there was a small corner, underneath all of Eva’s hanging pantsuits, where a box of his old shirts rested. Finally, some new material! He grabbed the first shirt on the pile, which had a cartoon cat and the phrase “Meanwhile, inside the box… Schrodinger’s cat plans his revenge,” and pulled it on over his long-sleeved pyjama shirt because despite the reviving sun, it was still pretty cold out.
He was greeted with his old “World’s Best Teacher” mug (a gift from one of his classes) full of coffee just the way he liked it, and he smiled brightly at Stratt.
“The way I remember it, I was the one who always got you coffee,” he laughed, and rejoiced in the slight upturn of her lips.
“I’m sending Carl off to IHOP- text him your order,” she replied, rolling her eyes.
“Is the menu still the same?” he asked, eyes wide as she slid her phone across the table.
“They’ll make whatever you want; they know Carl and they know who he works for,” Eva replied.
“Huh... I didn’t picture you as an IHOP kind of woman.”
“I’m not, but Carl likes it when he’s feeling sentimental,” she responded.
“Fair enough,” Ryland agreed, smile widening as he took the phone. “Oh slippers- what’s your password?”
Eva glanced around to make sure that Yao’s family was out of hearing range before she replied “2805.” She hoped that he was too American to realize that if you did things the European way, the numbers spelled May 28.
“Your password is my birthday? Wow, what a coincidence.” His face was completely sincere, not a trace of sarcasm in sight, and Eva snorted internally (externally, her face remained impassive).
Oh right, she thought. He’s a genius, but he’s also an idiot. Problem solved.
“Well,” she said eventually. “It’s good to know that you remember your birthday.”
“Not really,” he shrugged. “But Oly and Li-li did. So either my birthday is May 28 or they’ve pulled off a pretty good 4 year long-con. Parties on the ship and everything, although we obviously didn’t have cake.”
“I smell coffee,” Ilyukhina interrupted, finally awake and stretching her arms wide in the small kitchen, followed by Rocky, his xenonite suit clacking against the cheap tile floor.
“Pot’s in the machine,” Eva told her. “Help yourself.”
“Oh, so Ry gets coffee service but the rest of us have to DIY? Blatant favoritism over here,” the engineer grumbled, but she winked at Grace anyway before turning to the coffee maker. “Woah, this model was old even before we left,” she remarked.
“Yeah,” Ryland craned his neck to see over the counter. “I got it at a Goodwill for like, 7 bucks my first year teaching. I’m surprised it still works, and that you even kept it.” He turned back to Eva.
“Well, there was no point throwing it out; it predates planned obsolescence, after all. And it’s done its job just fine all these years and doesn’t take up too much space,” she replied with a shrug.
“Actually, have you changed anything about this place? Even the mattress was the same,” Grace remarked, looking around. “Why are you even here in the first place, question? I mean, I know you’re a frugal kind of world dictator, but this seems excessive.”
“Don’t make me say it, du Trottel. Even you aren’t that stupid,” she scolded him.
“Wow, feeling so loved right now,” he declared, putting his hand over his heart and making a face when it brushed up against the outline of the ICD under his skin.
“Go put on some real clothes; you have an appointment with the cardiologist right after breakfast,” she ordered, ignoring his antics and the tightness in her own chest when she spotted the bump of the implant under his t-shirt. “I’ve texted the address to your new phone; find somewhere nearby to go to lunch, but make sure we can be in and out in half an hour, because we’ve got the leukemia specialist in the afternoon.”
“First full day on solid ground and I have to go to the doctors?” he complained, and she swatted lightly at his ridiculous hair with a tea towel.
“Yes- I’d like to keep you alive; seeing how the universe was so good as to return you to me once, I’m not keen on taking my chances,” she responded.
“Don’t worry. I will come too, statement,” Ilyukhina piped up from her position drinking coffee right out of his old second-hand pot.
“We did not discuss this.” Eva shot her a look.
“Did not need to.” Olesya shrugged, utterly unrepentant.
“Rocky come, question?” The alien chirped, his voice hopeful through the translator.
“I’m sorry, but we cannot bring an alien to the cardiologist,” Eva told him, not all that sorry. “It’s a safety issue; Earth at large doesn’t really know about you yet. There’s a press release later this week.”
“I promise I’ll be fine, buddy,” Ryland reassured Rocky, seeing the disappointed way he hung his carapace. “Sunny Tsarina will be with me, statement. Words of great encouragement.”
“Besides, someone needs to stay here and keep the Yaos company,” Ryland attempted to cheer the Eridian up. “And Li-li told me that Xiùyīng Yí is an anthropologist, so I’m sure you guys can have a great discussion about culture,” he offered.
“Yes, I would be delighted,” Yao’s daughter agreed, entering the kitchen. To Ryland, she said, “Nice to meet you. 爸爸 says to tell you that he and 妈妈 went to the Chinese bakery for a breakfast date, and to text him if you want anything. I like your shirt, by the way.”
“Thanks! I’m glad they’re getting some alone time, since they refused the option to get a hotel” Ryland agreed. “Also, it’s really weird to have a phone again.”
“I’d imagine,” Xiùyīng Yí agreed. “爸爸 was always forgetting his whenever he returned from a mission, and until the Hail Mary, he was never gone for more than a few months at a time. Now you’ve all been conscious for the last 4 years without one, relativistically speaking.”
“I cannot wait to explore new dating sites,” Ilyukhina piped up, scrolling through her feed. “We’re like, famous now. I’m gonna pull.” Grace took this as a prompt to go to the bedroom to get dressed for his appointments.
“爸爸 thought you’d say that, 妹妹,” Xiùyīng Yí laughed.
“Wait, younger sister? Nope, nuh uh. My birth precedes yours by about 18 months,” Olesya protested.
“Ah, but you have lived less time, therefore I am 姐姐. I have been an only child all my life, so I must say I’m very culturally curious to finally experience this ‘eldest daughter trauma’ that the other Asians so often speak of,” She replied back easily, heading to the stove after shaking one of Rocky’s claws and introducing herself in Mandarin. “Ugh, Americans and their electric coil stoves. Really, Minister Stratt, I know you’re sentimental, but you couldn’t have at least replaced this with a proper gas range?”
Eva blinked at her. “Nice to meet you too, and what a very German way to start a conversation,” she responded.
“I like to meet people where they are,” Yao’s daughter said, quickly locating a wok, a few eggs, an old tomato, and a bottle of soy sauce just as Carl came in laden with takeaway bags.
“My man!” Ryland cheered, exiting the bedroom wearing three layers of sweaters and fuzzy socks. Eva made a face of displeasure and hoped that the higher dose of beta blockers he was due to start this morning would help him regulate his temperature better. “I swear Carl, I’d kiss you if I did that kind of thing.”
“Bold of you to assume I’d want one, when you’re 26 years behind on child support for our Astrophage baby,” the agent quipped.
“Grapefruit juice?” Eva hissed as Carl started unpacking the bag. “Absolutely not- it interferes with his meds; you should know better.” She took the drink and dumped it unceremoniously in the trash.
“Hey, no fair!” Ryland whined, as Carl tried to protest that he ‘wasn’t a cardiologist.’. Rocky turned to Eva, his body language more open.
“Fruit bad for blood-pump organ, question?” he asked her, the translator’s tones slightly gentler.
“This particular fruit interferes with the absorption of certain medications, yes,” she agreed, carefully inspecting the rest of Grace’s breakfast before passing it back to him.
“Any other dietary restrictions I should know about? You better not touch my bacon,” Grace warned, pulling his breakfast towards his chest possessively.
“Two cups of coffee a day, absolute maximum, but other than no alcohol and no grapefruit, the cardiologist at the ISS hasn’t outright banned anything. You can’t eat like you’re still in grad school, though,” Stratt cautioned him. “And certainly not like those early days on the Vat, either.” Before he’d gotten the cancer diagnosis, after which Stratt had put someone in charge of making sure the man ate well and at least semi-regularly, he’d survived off of coffee, ramen, candy, and scientific curiosity.
“Yeah, старший брат, you need to set a good example for your students,” Olesya teased, and Ryland grimaced.
“I was always sort of a do what I say, not what I do kinda guy when it came to dietary advice for the kiddos,” he admitted sheepishly around a mouthful of pancake.
“Carl, get the car. Dr. Grace, eat faster. Ilyukhina, get your coat” Eva ordered. “We’re going to be late.” At Olesya’s protest of “but I don’t own a coat anymore,” she shrugged and pointed to the throw blanket on the couch.
Grace looked as though he wouldn’t really mind being late for the doctor, but he did as he was told regardless.
_______
“A new one? Why do I need a new one? This one seems to be working fine,” Dr. Grace complained to the cardiologist.
“Doctor Grace, your current model is 30 years old, and the battery is running low. We’d have to replace it either way. Also, the programming on this one is insufficient for your condition. While the arrhythmia and ventricular fibrillation was initially a rare side effect of chemotoxicity, four years at 150% of the gravity your body was designed to handle have weakened your heart significantly. Fortunately, the new technology will be better able to monitor and adjust to fluctuations in your heartrate, so you won’t get as many ‘extra’ shocks,” the doctor explained. Olesya squeezed his shoulder encouragingly, and Eva stood beside him glaring at the doctor. The man’s clear discomfort did improve Ryland’s mood a bit.
“Is it still bulky?” he asked. “Couldn’t you do the one that’s like, subcutaneous?”
“Not with the severity of your condition, Doctor Grace. The new model will be about the same size, but with far greater capability.”
The tech specs of the new device did not appear to appeal to the savior of Earth, the cardiologist noted.
“Can I say no?” he asked.
“No,” Stratt and Ilyukhina answered at the same time.
“I don’t like being unconscious. I really, really don’t like it,” Ryland protested.
“It won’t be like last time, старший брат,” Olesya soothed. “You’ll wake up on Earth, with all your memories, and then you’ll get to go home very next day.”
“I know it’s unpleasant, but it will improve your quality and duration of life,” the doctor encouraged.
“He’ll do it,” Eva declared.
“Wait, no, I didn’t say that…” Ryland tried to argue.
“Not yet, but you will,” Eva told him. “Do it for me, please?”
“Woah, a Stratt please?” Ilyukhina faux-gasped. “Sorry bro, you gotta do it now, statement.”
“Okay, fine, but this is the last time you’re allowed to ask me that. I already went to space for you. You get one heart surgery and I swear to Curie that that is it.”
“Deal. But you still have to go to the oncologist this afternoon. And the immunologist next week.”
“Wait, immunologist, question? 神经病, you didn’t mention that this morning, accusation!”
“Here, lollipop,” Eva ignored his protests, pulling a dum-dum out of her coat pocket. “Good microbiologist.”
Ryland just looked at the cardiologist in disbelief, like can you believe this lady? He did take the lollipop, though. He liked the blue raspberry flavor.
_______
“I don’t like being poked with sticks,” Grace complained to Eva at the oncologist.
“Shhh… it’s a very scientific poke with a very scientific stick,” she soothed.
“Was that a joke… do we have inside jokes now?”
“Shut up and let them take your blood.”
“I’m being attacked by vampires and she doesn’t even care.” Grace turned his big blue eyes on Ilyukhina.
“At least this poke won’t kill you,” she comforted cheerily. “Not like when you killed that first astrophage.”
“Ohhhh my gumdrops… is this their revenge? Wait… we killed a lot of astrophage with the Taumoeba. Did we do a microbial genocide?”
“I mean… technically? But except for Stratt, we’re all atheists here so it’s not like anyone’s gonna punish us for it.”
“I highly doubt that G-d is a eukaryote, so I think we’re fine either way,” Eva shrugged. “Oww… don’t squeeze so hard, Grace.”
“I will squeeze as hard as I need to because this was all your idea,” Ryland grumbled, clenching her hand in his as the needle went into his hip for the marrow biopsy. “We could have been at the science museum right now.”
“Not without you being mobbed by paparazzi,” Eva snorted, shaking out her abused hand as the procedure finished.
“We’ll have initial results on the CBC and Peripheral Blood Smear within the hour. We’re expediting the results of the marrow biopsy and we’ll call you with those tonight, Minister.” The phlebotomist spoke to Stratt, but she was looking at Grace with stars in her eyes, and he squirmed uncomfortably. Eva snapped her fingers in the tech’s face and gave her a dirty look.
Carl had been standing at attention outside the door, but he stuck his head in once the phlebotomist had left the room.
“Yao is driving me crazy; he doesn’t have your number so he’s been texting and calling non-stop for the past hour,” he lamented, handing Stratt his vibrating phone. “Could you please tell him to stop calling me.”
Eva rolled her eyes but took the phone and pressed “accept.” She was nearly immediately assaulted with an angry stream of Mandarin.
“You can’t just take them places without telling me,” he demanded brusquely in English, once he was done cursing at her in Mandarin. “I shouldn’t have to hear from Rocky that you’re taking Ryland to the doctor. That’s my team, and I need to be informed of their whereabouts. You don’t just drag them off without informing me. Ryland especially should have been given more time to rest before you started exposing him to all those strangers, and heaven only knows what kinds of pathogens they might have- he only just finished his vaccinations before re-entry.”
“I’m making sure the fucking cancer didn’t come back,” she hissed at him in Mandarin. “Don’t act like you know how to take care of him better than I do; I have all the resources on Earth at my disposal. I understand that you are codependent, and I’m making many, many allowances for that already. If you have any issues with my methods, you need to take that up with a therapist and not bother my security team.”
Grace and Ilyukhina both looked up in shock, and she belatedly remembered the faux-curse that Grace had dropped earlier in Mandarin and realized her mistake. Of course they’d learned each other’s languages during four years in a tin can without the weight of the world on their shoulders. She switched to German and cursed again, to herself.
“Hand me the phone, Eva,” Ryland requested, and she relented. The rush of inaudible words came through the phone speakers as he put the phone to his ear, and he sighed.
“爸爸，我很好，别担心. Please calm down,” Grace spoke softly into the receiver. “Yes, I’m sorry we didn’t tell you. We just wanted you to have a nice morning out with your wife. Yes 爸爸, all the doctors are wearing masks. No, we went through a drive-through for lunch, nobody bothered us. Yes, okay, I’ll put you on speaker, but it’s probably going to be another 45 minutes before we hear anything. Yes, the phone is nowhere near the implant, I remember the lecture.” He heard Xiùyīng Yí’s laughter in the background. “Hand the phone to your eldest daughter, I’d like to ask her if you’ve always been like this.” Olesya looked at him in betrayal.
“We still haven’t settled who gets that label,” Olesya groused. Ryland ignored her as Yí’s voice came through the speakers.
“You should have seen my first day of kindergarten. He drove 妈妈 crazy and nearly frightened the poor teacher’s aid into quitting.”
“I’m not as easily frightened as a glorified babysitter,” Stratt harumphed. “He should know better than that.”
“Mama will talk to him later, Minister Stratt. Terribly sorry to bother you,” the woman apologized. “But you hired him; you must know how he is when he gets an idea into his head. Really, you should have told him personally, if you’ll pardon the impertinence.”
“Be as impertinent as you like, Xiǎo Bǎo,” Yao’s voice came through again. “She’s certainly caused your mother and I enough grief to warrant it today.”
“No 亲爱的,” Ting Yí’s voice piped in, a hint of a gentle, breezy laugh bubbling up. “You’re causing me grief today.”
“And it’s her fault, 小心肝,” the former Hail Mary commander defended himself.
“Shhhh, shhhh, the oncologist is coming in,” Ilyukhina hissed.
“Great news, Doctor Grace and company,” the doctor said, closing the door with his hip. “Preliminary results show only healthy cells. We’ll know for sure by tonight, but it’s looking as though you’re still cancer-free!”
From outside the door with his ear pressed up against it as he guarded the perimeter, Carl did a fist-pump. Eva put a hand over her heart, and Ilyukhina cheered. A sound suspiciously like sniffling was heard over the phone speakers.
“Of course, all that time in space does present a risk factor, so you’ll need to return for more regular follow-ups than most patients in remission, at least for the next decade or so. But this is great news; congratulations,” the doctor continued, handing Dr. Grace his own chart to look over.
With the numbers in front of him, Ryland seemed placated. He turned to Stratt.
“I told you you dragged me here for nothing.”
“Ich schwöre bei Gott, schätzchen… it’s not too late to let the Eridians have you.”
He laughed the whole way to the car.