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The Cost of Being Besties

Summary:

Dot scoffs as they turn a corner.

“Honestly, men.”

“Y’know, fair,” Four says, “But at least I got myself a boyfriend.”

Screeching, Dot tackles Four.

A few minutes later, Shadow--who is on his way to Dot’s room--sees Four and Dot wrestling on the castle floor and sighs.

----------------

Four and Dot gossip about the chain's relationships, then Dot makes fun of him in front of the chain. Shadow shows up to help with the chaos.

after all, what are best friends for? (the answer is tormenting each other)

Notes:

i wrote this late at night and have not edited yet. BUT i could not help myself, Four and Dot are fabulous in their gay/lesbian solidarity and are living their best lives. they are besties, your honor.

no content warnings :)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Having arrived in Four’s Hyrule, the Chain was pleasantly surprised to see Hyrule Castle right on the horizon. After all, it meant a night with actual beds, time off for Wild from cooking meals, and getting to see Four’s Zelda, Dot.

 

They arrived at the front gates within a half hour and were greeted by a very happy Dot, who rushed to hug Four. He returned the embrace just as fiercely before extracting himself to introduce the Chain.

 

After that, their day consisted of filling Dot in on the black-blooded monsters situation, then spending time with her for a few hours as she gave them a tour of the castle. Thankfully, she wasn’t queen yet, and so was easily able to arrange an empty schedule for the next few days.

 

However, during said tour, as Dot got to know the Links, she noticed something that bugged her. It was itching at her. Unfortunately, she would have to wait and talk to Four in private later.

 

After two hours, everyone decided to split up and go off on their own, either to rest or relax in their preferred ways. For Dot and Four, this meant catching up. They started towards Dot’s room, their preferred meeting place.

 

The minute everyone was out of sight, Dot felt as if she could finally ask about what she had picked up on. 

 

Leaning over, Dot brings a hand up to cover her mouth and hisses, “Was that a ring on Grumpy-pant’s finger?!”

 

That is all it takes to start Four on a rant. He throws his hands up angrily, utterly exasperated.

 

“Apparently it's for ‘tax purposes’, but let me tell you, I have never seen a gayer couple in my life--”

 

“I have,” Dot interjects.

 

Four rolls his eyes, knowing he can’t deny the accusation.

 

“Yeah, at least I admitted it.”

 

“Fair,” Dot hums.

 

With that, Four continues.

 

“I could cut the sexual tension between them with a knife, it’s that bad, and Dot, let me tell you--” and here Four has to pause and take a deep breath, “--Ravio said ‘love you, Mr. Hero’ before Legend left, and kissed him on the cheek, and Legend still thinks that Ravio isn’t interested!”

 

Here, Dot has her own input.

 

“No, see,” She starts, feeling exasperated herself, “‘love you’ can absolutely be platonic--”

 

Four nods sagely, his eyes green. “Like with you and Erune.”

 

Dot sputters for a minute. “Shut up. As I was saying, ‘Love you’ can be platonic, but there is no way even Vaati himself would excuse a cheek kiss as ‘just platonic’! How dense is this guy?!”

 

Rolling his eyes, Four sighs, “You have no idea. And, for the record, Vaati had no idea Shadow and I were together.”

 

Dot’s eyebrows raise.

 

“I retract my statement.”

 

“Oh, and get this,” Four continues, feeling more fired up by the second, “they have pet names for each other! Did you know that Legend calls Ravio ‘bunny’? And I checked, he’s just as clueless as Legend!!”

 

Dot scoffs as they turn a corner.

 

“Honestly, men.”

 

“Y’know, fair,” Four says. Then he gives Dot a side eye and a wicked grin. 

 

“But at least I got myself a boyfriend.”

 

Screeching, Dot tackles Four.

 

A few minutes later, Shadow--who is on his way to Dot’s room--sees Four and Dot wrestling on the castle floor, the servants pointedly ignoring them. Sighing, Shadow wonders why he has to be the responsible one in their friend group. 

 

Then, he pauses.

 

No one is forcing him to be responsible.

 

And with that thought, Shadow steps around his best friend and his idiot boyfriend--whose eyes are more blue than normal--and continues the walk to Dot’s room. There’s likely chocolate hiding somewhere, and Shadow wonders if he can find her secret stash.

 

Shadow manages to eat a whole tray of pastries before Four and Dot stumble into the room, Four sporting an impressive black eye and Dot’s face smeared with blood from a split lip and her bleeding nose.

 

------------------

 

The next morning, when Dot walks into the banquet hall to greet the Chain, they have a few questions.

 

“We were sparring,” Dot shrugs at the concerned glances. “Nothing unusual, I think we were both just off our game a bit.”

 

Wars accepts this easily--he and Artemis have a similar routine--and everyone else just shrugs. Most of their own Zeldas were similarly inclined to either sparring or general violence. And to be fair, Dot and Four did actually spar frequently.

 

However, when Four walked in, there were a few double takes (Sky, Twilight, Wars), and a few snickers (Wild, Wind, and Legend). Hyrule and Time were both intent on ignoring the situation.

 

“Seems like sparring got a bit out of hand,” Legend snickers.

 

Four raises an eyebrow at Dot. “Is that what we were doing?”

 

Flushing, Dot points an accusatory finger at him.

 

“I don’t want to hear it.”

 

Like the gremlin he is, Four just smirks.

 

“‘Cause how I remember it, you were just salty I pointed out--”

 

And Four is tackled to the floor again as another wrestling match between the two breaks out. Dot manages to slam her elbow into Four’s stomach before Twilight pulls the two apart, and Four is curled over, wheezing as he is pulled back up to his feet.

 

“Calm down, ya two, holy Hylia. How ‘bout we go eat some breakfast? If yer gonna fight, at least don’t do it on an empty stomach.”

 

Four manages to wiggle his way out of Twilight's hold, who lets him go begrudgingly. Dot waits to be set down before brushing off her dress and affecting a look of poise.

 

“You are right,” She says, far more formally, “there is plenty of food for all of us. Why don’t we sit down and enjoy ourselves?”

 

The Chain, who had been waiting for her arrival to start eating, dig into the massive servings of eggs, pancakes, berries, roasted vegetables, breads, jams, and milk. Four and Dot, who had still been standing, glance at each other with narrowed eyes before taking the two remaining seats: Dot at the head of the table, and Four at her right.

 

However, it isn’t long before the two forgive each other and they start chatting quietly.

 

“So,” Dot whispers with a grin, “is there anyone else in a relationship?” She waves the bit of pancake on her fork around, gesturing to the others who are all talking in small groups.

 

“Yep,” Four replies, eating a piece of toast with apricot jam. “You’ve got Time,” Four points to the man in question, “who is married. Miss Malon, she’s amazing. He’s also most certainly the only straight one here.” 

 

Four pauses.

 

“No wait, Sky’s here too, and he’s dating his Zelda. Apparently she pushed him off a cliff once.”

 

“I love that for her.”

 

“Same,” Four says. He looks around at the other members of the Chain, eyes narrowing suspiciously at some of them.

 

“Now, that’s it for the confirmed relationships,” Four says, and Dot leans in, hearing the conspiratorial edge to his voice, “Wild over there is either engaged to a Zora prince or dating his Zelda, and honestly it could be either.”

 

Dot nods and inputs, “Or it could be both.”

 

Four’s eyebrows raise like he hadn’t thought of that. 

 

“Or it could be both. Warriors is very single but will flirt with any sentient being.” Dot glances at the man with his perfect eyeliner and surprisingly tasteful fashion choices, and honestly suspects this is true. “Hyrule, I’m pretty sure, isn’t into anyone, which kudos to him. Twilight has some sad backstory I don’t want to pry into, and you already know about Legend’s gay disaster. Oh, and Wind has the cutest crush ever on his Zelda too, though he’s in denial about it.”

 

Snorting, Four shoots a smirk over at Dot.

 

“He’s almost as bad as you.”

 

Dot does not choose violence this time, but her eye does twitch.

 

“Well, what about you?” She asks, and she's taunting him this time, “See any cute boys on your trip?”

 

Four just rolls his eyes, but Legend turns from where he was talking to Hyrule.

 

…maybe he and Dot weren’t being that quiet.

 

“Yeah, Four, any cute boys?” Legend teases, a wicked grin on his face.

 

“Oh, shut up,” Four hisses, but then Wind perks up, “You’re into boys, Four?”

 

Four just buries his head in his hands as the whole table stops talking to look at him. Dot is cackling like the best friend she is.

 

“You have no idea,” She starts, and Four looks affronted. A good portion of the Chain are failing to look uninterested. Wild and Legend have no such pretenses, the incurable gossips. Time has noped out of the conversation.

 

“You should have seen him on his adventure,” Dot starts, and Four goes to defend his dignity only to be restrained by Legend, who is very eager to hear about this. “He had just figured out he liked guys, right?” Dot starts, and Four’s eyes scream murder as he thrashes against Legend.

 

“And then, when he practically had all of Hyrule lined up for him to choose from, he falls head over heels for an arsonist. And that’s not even the best part,” Dot leans in, a smug look on her face. “Because then the guy tries to kill him, and I guess he’s got a thing for strangling--”

 

“THAT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENED”

 

“--’cause he just goes home with the guy. Like a criminal is one thing, to each their own, you know? But the guy who tried to choke you out? Now that’s just kinky.”

 

Four frees himself from Legend with a screech and tackles Dot, whose plate goes flying, bits of pancake and honey splattering all over her clothes. 

 

Legend and Wind are outright cackling, and almost everyone else is struggling to contain their amusement. Sky just looks vaguely embarrassed.

 

“YOU’RE JUST SALTY THAT I GOT A BOYFRIEND! IF YOU GREW A PAIR AND ASKED ERUNE OUT ALREADY--”

 

SMACK

 

Shadow chooses that moment to walk into the room, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He looks vaguely annoyed as he yawns.

 

“Again?” he grumbles.

 

A few people turn around to stare at Shadow--understandable, considering he looks nearly like Four, minus the purple hair and tanned skin--and, most notably, Warriors starts to reach for his weapon. Thankfully, before any violence towards innocent shadows can occur, Dot sees Shadow and calls out.

 

“RESTRAIN YOUR BOYFRIEND, SHADOW!”

 

That causes people to double-take.

 

“IF YOU INTERFERE,” Four shouts as he gets Dot in a chokehold, “YOU WILL HAVE NO CUDDLES FROM RED TONIGHT.”

 

“So sad,” Shadow says as he marches over to the cat fight. “Like you could stop him, Blue. Ganon’s sake, you couldn’t have let me eat first?”

 

Stepping up behind Four, Shadow pokes him in the side, causing Four to release his grip on Dot, who then kicks him in the shins for good measure.

 

“You’re a traitor,” Four growls out.

 

“Sure am,” Shadow replies. 

 

Then, he picks Four up bridal style, taking Four’s seat and setting him on Shadow’s lap.

 

“Sup,” Shadow says, grabbing Four’s unfinished toast, “I only know about the gay disaster one, who are the rest of y’all?”

 

Thankfully, Shadow did not clarify that Legend was the “gay disaster one”. Unfortunately, Legend seems to have guessed who Shadow was talking about, if the way he’s glaring at Four means anything.

 

“I am Time,” Time speaks up, “and we are the ones travelling with your Link here.”

 

Before Shadow could ask questions about what “your Link” means, Wind slammed his hands on the table.

 

“Are you actually Four’s boyfriend?”

 

At the look of confusion from Shadow, Four sighs.

 

“Yes, this is my Boyfriend. Shadow, meet the Chain. We’re all named Link, hence the nicknames. I go by ‘Four’.”

 

Shadow snorts. 

 

“Four’ is a bit on the nose, isn’t it?”

 

“We have already established that both of our abilities to name things are severely lacking.”

 

“Sure, Vi, and I’m sure that Red didn’t just think it was really cute, and you all aren’t a bunch of pushovers.”

 

Blushing, Four stays tellingly silent.

 

“So did you actually try to kill Four?” Wind continues, eyes gleaming with mischief and genuine curiosity.

 

Shadow choked on the egg he had started to eat.

 

“You told them that? Great way to introduce me.”

 

“It wasn’t me!” Four defends, “It was Dot! She also told them you’re an arsonist.”

 

Dot glares. “Snitch.”

 

“Come on,” Shadow whines at her, “you could have at least told them how I kidnapped you! That was way more interesting.”

 

Four sees Warriors start to reach for his sword again.

 

“He’s fine,” Four directs at him. “He sacrificed his life to kill Vaati. You don’t do that lightly.”

 

Warriors still looks hesitant, but he’s put his sword away for now. A few of the others are looking at him weirdly now, and he resolves to answer questions about Shadow’s death later.

 

Shadow grumbles at this. “Fine, ruin my image, why don’t you? Not like I wasn’t a great villain or anything.” Four pokes his side in response and Shadow shrieks.

 

“Rude!” he gasps. Four cackles and Shadow frowns, but his body language gives away just how content he is sitting there with Four in his arms, shoulders relaxed and clearly fighting a smile.

 

Shadow, making an executive decision, stands and holds Four in his arms again. Grinning, he faces the Chain.

 

"Well, this has been fun, but if you’ll excuse me, I want to go spend time alone with my boyfriend. We’ll be back…” Shadow glares at a clock, then shrugs, “...eventually,” he decides.

 

Dot calls out to them as they leave, “Don’t burn anything down!”

 

“No promises,” Shadow winks before stepping back and disappearing in a burst of black particles, leaving a stunned Chain behind him.

 

Dot sighs at the theatrics, resigning herself to the incoming wave of questions from the Chain.

 

At least those two are having fun.

Notes:

the colors, when Dot is talking about Four meeting Shadow/shadow trying to kill Four:
Blue: our honor!
green: she has no proof!
red: traitor!
vio: well, technically she is right--

Yes, Dot is a good friend so she embellished Four's story to avoid talking about the colors lol. She's only here to spill the juicy secrets.

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