Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

‘What am I doing with my life? I'm so pale. I should get out more. I should eat better. My posture is terrible. I should stand up straighter. People would respect me more if I stood up straighter. What's wrong with me? I just want to connect. Why can't I connect with people?

Oh, right. It’s because I have social anxiety, awkwardness and a severe stammer. That’d be it.’

Heaving a small sigh as he ducked into the space between two locker rows, R pulled out his iPod and flicked through the songs to distract himself from the crowds of students pushing by in their rush to get to their next class. From experience, he’d found it was better to wait until the rush had subsided before making his own way, as there was less risk of getting trampled in the process. Or have something thrown at him. Or be pushed into a wall.

As the flood of students slowed to a trickle he came out of the space, looking around before heaving his backpack over one shoulder and making his way to class. It was the last one of the day which wasn’t so bad, but still meant he had to interact with people. People like Perry Kelvin.

The thing about highschool is that although it can be full of amazing young people with ideas and goals and hope, it can also be full of assholes.

“Hey guys, the zombie finally made it! Didn’t get shot on your way in?” The aforementioned asshole shouted across the class as R entered the classroom. He didn’t spare Perry a glance, just dumped his bag under his desk and sat down, staring blankly at the whiteboard. Putting a hand into his pocket intending to turn the volume of his music up, he withdrew it as his headphones were yanked out of his ears with a force that made his head turn.

“I’m talking to you, zombie. Why don’t you ever talk back?” Perry put both hands on R’s desk and leaned heavily against it and into the other boy’s space. R leaned backwards and was so sorely tempted to reply, to let something out that would preferably make Perry fuck off forever, but he couldn’t. “Man, you’re being really rude. I’m just trying to make friends!”

‘Yeah right.’ R thought back.

“Perry, leave him alone.” A hand grabbed the back of Perry’s collar and pulled him backwards, making him land heavily on his ass.

R looked away, but a small smile crossed his face. He didn’t have to look to know who saved his ass.

Julie Grigio stood next to her boyfriend, arms crossed and a look of irritation on her face. It was a look that would look weak on anyone else but anyone with sense would cower in fear if that look was turned upon them.

“I’m just trying to have fun Jules, stop being such a blowhard.” Perry stood, attempting to cover the blow to his pride but in R’s eyes, failing miserably.

It was luckily then that the teacher entered and everyone sat down and shut up, much to R’s relief. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Julie glance at him before turning her attention to the front of the class.

The rest of the lesson thankfully passed without incident and as usual, R waited for the rest of the school to trickle out before leaving himself. He took the longer route home- it was full of backstreets and alleyways but it was quiet, peaceful. And if it meant he could stop to pet a few cats on the way home then that was his business.

It was dark when he reached home and after entering the apartment building and taking several moments to stop and stare disdainfully at the ‘Out Of Order’ sign on the closed elevator doors, he managed to gather the energy to walk up to the fourth floor and the apartment he shared with his sort-of uncle.

Marcus wasn’t exactly related to R, but he might as well have been. After R’s parents died in a car accident when he was a child, his mother’s best friend had immediately jumped up to take him in, despite the fact that he was going through a divorce at the time, he’d just lost his best friend and everything was a mess. Neither of them quite knew what they were doing, suddenly living with a new person after losing the people closest to them, but it worked and R could honestly say he wouldn’t want to live anywhere else.

“Hey kiddo. Good day at school?” Marcus called from where he was sitting in the lounge.

R shrugged, dumping his bag and shoes by the door and going to slump on the armchair. He brought out his phone and was about to type something into a search engine when it was plucked from his hands and he looked up with a scowl.

Marcus was grinning as he waved the phone above his head, despite the fact that upright, R was several inches taller than him.

“There’s something for you in your room, thought you might wanna check it out before homework.” He tossed the phone onto the other chair and left to enter the kitchen.

R narrowed his eyes but stood, making his way to his room. On the bed were several plastic wrapped vinyl records, two of which he had been searching for for weeks. A grin overtook his face as he gently picked them up and looked them over, before placing them down and going into the kitchen where it looked like Marcus was attempting to cook dinner. He waited for his pseudo uncle to turn before wrapping him in a hug.

“Th-th-thank-you.” He whispered, smile not leaving his face as he turned to go back to his room.

“No problem kid. Just no playing them at night, I’ve had enough complaints about your rowdy behaviour.” Came the reply through the open door. Marcus had obviously had a lot of time to think of ‘dad jokes’ over the years.

R went to place one of his new records on his vinyl player but paused, placing it down and kneeling to look at it. The needle looked crooked and he winced, gently picking the arm up and poking it and groaning in dismay as it broke off. He placed the broken part on the desk beside the player and exited his room, immediately heading for the front door.

“Woah, where you going? Dinners gonna be done soon.” Marcus called, walking after him.

“V-vinyl needle broke, I-I need a r-r-replacement.” R replied, toeing his sneakers on and checking his pocket for keys. It was easier to talk around Marcus, with the knowledge that he wouldn’t be judged or made fun of. This was the man who, when he found out his best friend’s son had been mockingly nicknamed ‘R’ as he was stammering too hard to introduce himself to a new class, immediately started nicknaming himself ‘M’ so the boy wouldn’t feel alone.

“Damn. The record store closes in about twenty minutes, you sure you’ll make it tonight?”

R nodded, already opening the front door.

“I’ll b-be back soon.”

Marcus smiled at him. “I know you will, kiddo. Be safe.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

The record store was a few blocks away and tucked away in the backstreets of the city, but R knew the route there by heart. It wasn’t exactly in the nicest neighbourhood but he found if he pulled up the hood of his jacket and stood as tall as he could, no-one even tried to approach him. His height really did work for him sometimes.

As usual he took to the alleyways to get to his destination, but as he began to hear raised voices in the one up ahead he slowed, intending to take another direction but stopping as he overhead what they were saying.

“C’mon sweetheart, we’re just looking for a good time.”

“You’re looking in the wrong place then. Leave me alone.”

R froze. That was Julie’s voice.

“Can’t even spare a little time for us? You’re in our road, bitch.” A different voice than the first. Julie was in an alley at night with two men.

R wasn’t turning away from that.

He started walking towards the voices, legs carrying him a little faster than usual.

“Pretty sure you don’t own public property, now leave me alone.” Julie sounded calm but she was obviously agitated. Why was she alone? R had no doubts she could take care of herself but where the hell was Perry?

R couldn’t believe he wished that asshole was there right now.

He broke into a run as he heard a shout and someone hit the floor, and he rounded the corner of the alley to see one of the men on the floor, clutching the area between his legs and the other facing Julie who was backed up against the wall, obviously pissed.

“You bitch, you’re gonna pay for-“ The second man shouted, but he didn’t get much farther because suddenly R had tackled him, sending them both to the floor. He had no idea how he’d crossed the length of the alley so quickly but the man was trying to get up, shouting something and grabbing R’s throat and then-

Pain exploded in his hand as R punched the man in the face before grabbing his head and bashing it against the floor. The man went still and R froze, suddenly terrified that he’d killed the guy but then saw him breathing. The second man on the floor was frozen in terror, pain from being kicked in the balls forgotten as he stared over at R.

The boy stood, shaking. His hand hurt a lot but he was barely processing it, staring down at the men on the floor. Then he remembered Julie.

She was still standing with her back against the wall, frozen. He could feel her eyes on him, feel the fear radiating from her. Shit, she was scared of him. He’d just came out of nowhere and beat the hell outta two guys, what if she thought he was stalking her? He stood and turned, meeting her eyes properly for the first time.

“R?” She breathed, confusion crossing her face.

He did the only thing he could think of.

He ran.

Chapter Text

R didn’t remember how he got home. He only really came back to himself when the door slammed behind him and made him jump out of his skin.

“That was quick. Were they shut already- Jesus shit, what happened to you?!” Marcus shouted, dropping the plate he was holding and rushing forward.

R blinked, watching his uncle move with confusion until his hand was gently grasped and he nearly shouted in pain, wrenching it away and cradling it to his chest.

Marcus stepped back, looking over him in worry.

“That hand looks broken, kid. We have to get you to a hospital.” He spoke slowly, both hands raised slightly as if R was a wild animal that needed calming down.

“Wh-what?” He replied, still feeling slightly absent. He looked down at his hand, suddenly realising that two of his fingers looked dangerously crooked and his knuckles were scraped and bleeding. The knees of his jeans were slightly torn, probably from the tackle, and his hoodie sleeves were dirty.

“Come on, we’re getting that sorted. And you, young man, are going to tell me what happened.” Marcus gently took him by the upper arms and steered them both out of the door, locking it behind them and ignoring the fact that he was wearing slippers as they made their way down the stairs.

~*~*~

“That’s quite a nasty break. What on earth were you doing?” The doctor asked and she examined the X-rays of his hand before turning her eyes onto him.

“That’s a good question.” Marcus replied, turning to face R. The young boy shifted uncomfortable under the attention and fought the urge to curl in on himself.

“I w-was walking. Heard s-s-someone being threatened i-in an a-a-alley. It was Julie.” A look of understanding dawned on Marcus’s face and he sat back a little. R had mentioned the girl before- she had stopped Perry’s relentless teasing on him a number of times and tried to include him in things, even if R could never do what they needed. “I s-s-stopped them. Punched one out. Julie k-kicked the other i-in the balls.” He let out a small grin, which then vanished as he realised something.

“I-I left her, in that alley. Shit I-I, I n-need,” He tried to stand but the doctor placed a hand on his shoulder and forced him to sit. She was stronger than she looked.

“Young man, please stay still. I have to reset the bones in your hand, I can ask for some officers to check in on the girl. Do you know where she lives?”

R had never felt so relieved. “N-no. But her f-f-father is a cop, he-he’ll be there.” Sergeant Grigio was well known in the city. “H-her name is Julie Grigio.”

After getting the bones in his hand reset, which hurt more than when he’d broken them in the first place, R was asked to speak to two officers about the attack before he left. He was told that because his actions were in self-defence, and for the defence of the sergeant’s daughter, he wouldn’t be reprimanded which he hadn’t expected in the slightest. The anxious part of his brain was convinced he’d be sent to prison or something.

“Come on, kiddo. Let’s go home.” Marcus clapped a hand on his shoulder which stayed there for several seconds after R stood. He hesitated, turning to the officers that were standing a few feet away.

“O-one second.” He whispered to Marcus, who nodded. R shuffled over to the officers and waited for them to stop talking before tapping one on the shoulder. “I-is Julie okay?” He asked quietly, holding his injured hand to his chest.

The female officer took the walkie-talkie on the vest in hand and clicked it, waiting for a reply before speaking.

“Evening, any update on the status of the Grigio girl?” She asked before releasing her finger from the button. There was a few moments of silence before the reply came.

“Just spoke to her, she’s shaken but unhurt.” The officer looked at R and smiled at him as he nodded gratefully before returning to Marcus’s side.

“L-let’s go.”

~*~*~**~*~

“You’re sure you want to go in?” Marcus asked for the third time that morning, watching R pack his bag with one hand. They’d gotten home at around 2AM and had both collapsed straight into bed.

“Y-yeah. I’ll be fine.” R replied, trying to tug the zip on his bag closed with one hand.

Marcus stood and crossed the room, zipping it up for him then handing it over. R smiled weakly at him before going to toe his shoes on.

“You don’t have to. I could call him, explain what happened.” His uncle persisted, leaning against the wall by the door.

R shook his head. “N-no, it’s okay. I-I gotta hand some stuff in.” That was only partially a lie.

Marcus sighed and nodded, opening the door for him. “Okay. Text me if you need an out and I’ll come get you. Be careful, okay?”

Nodding, R smiled before leaving the apartment. The thought of a day off was so, so tempting but he had to see if Julie was okay, if she was even in school at all.

~*~*~*~

The first few lessons passed without incident as no-one in the classes really cared about R’s presence, although the cast on his hand drew more than a few glances. It wasn’t until lunch that R even caught sight of Julie, sitting at a table with her friend Nora and on the opposite side of the hall to Perry and his friends.

Huh. That was interesting.

R turned back to his lunch, resting his injured hand on his lap as he ate and looked around the hall. At one point he felt eyes on him, and he turned to see Julie’s friend Nora looking him over. She had an intense look on her face and she nodded at him once before turning away.

Julie must have told her about the night before then. Had she told Perry?

Speaking of him, R glanced over the hall to see not only Perry, but two of his friends glaring at him as if they hoped that the look alone would set him on fire. It was a little unnerving.

Someone tapped his shoulder and R jumped, turning quickly.

It was Julie.

“Hey, R.” She said quietly, standing only inches away from him.

R swallowed, putting his sandwich down.

“H-hey.” He replied, feeling just as surprised as Julie looked that the sound actually came out.

“Do you mind if I join you?” She asked, placing her bag down by the table before he had replied. He nodded anyway, watching her sit down opposite him with her own lunch. He didn’t have to look around to know that Perry would be watching.

There was a slightly awkward silence for a few moments before Julie spoke.

“I wanted to thank you. For, you know. Last night.” She tucked some hair behind her ear and looked at him. “The police told me you had to go to the hospital. Are you okay?”

R nodded, heart beating hard in his chest that someone was actually talking to him without being made to.

“J-j-just broke some f-fingers. I’m okay.” He replied quiet, internally wincing at how much he stumbled over the words. As if to prove it he held his bandaged hand up, waving it slightly. “S-sorry if I scared you.” He looked away. He knew that to people who didn’t know him he could be intimidating- at full height he stood at 6’2 and although he was lanky, he was strong.

“You didn’t scare me. You sure as hell scared those guys though. I’m glad you came along.” She smiled at him gratefully.

Swallowing, R tried to focus on not spectacularly screwing up what he wanted to say.

“A-a-re you okay? I’m s-sorry I ran. I didn’t k-know what to d-do.”

Nailed it.

Julie shook her head, gently patting his uninjured hand. R watched, completely unsure as to what he was meant to do in this situation.

“You don’t have to be sorry- I shouldn’t have been walking by myself. It was kinda dumb.”
She shrugged, seeming a little smaller than she had before. An almost fierce sense of protectiveness flared up in R and he sat up straighter, turning more towards her.

“N-no it wasn’t. It wasn’t y-your fault those jackasses d-d-decided to hit on you.” His voice was stronger than he could remember it being in years.

Julie smiled and R almost felt his heart stop.

“Yeah… yeah. You’re right.” Her smile morphed more into a grin and R returned it, if a little shyly. “My dad had cops sent to that alley as soon as I called him, the guys are both in custody.”

“Good.” Relieved, R relaxed a little. There was silence for a few moments before the bell rang and they both jumped.

“Oh- I should get going,” Julie started, standing up. She hesitated for a moment before turning back to R. “So… I was wondering. My dad’s away this weekend and I’ve gotta catch up on homework- d’you want to come over for a study day? He always leaves money for pizza.” She smiled, playing with a strap on her bag.

R was totally speechless for a moment- what the actual hell was happening?

“S-sure.” The word left his mouth without permission but he found he didn’t care.

Julie bounced a little on her feet.

“Great! I’ll right down my number…” She grabbed a napkin from the table and scribbled a string of numbers onto it before shoving it towards R. “I’ve really gotta go now, bye!”

And she was gone. He sat still for a few seconds before slowly picking up the napkin and entering the numbers into his phone before pocketing both items.
He left the canteen in a slight daze, only being startled back to himself when he was passing by the lockers and a hand slammed into the one next to his face, halting him in his tracks.

“You really think I wouldn’t notice you chatting up my girlfriend, zombie boy?” Perry- asshole- was leaning against the locker with two of his friends standing around R, effectively trapping him.

R felt the anger that had consumed him last night rear up again.

“W-we were talking, not flirting.” Perry’s eyebrows rose in surprise of hearing R’s voice- he wasn’t even sure if he’d spoken properly to the guy before. “I-if you weren’t so insecure m-maybe you’d see that.”

Perry’s face creased in anger and he pushed himself off of the locker, getting into R’s space.

“Wow, you actually can speak. I’m almost impressed.” He shoved at R’s shoulders roughly, advancing on him. “You listen here, weirdo. If you make one more move on my girl even when I’m not there, I’ll-“

R felt his last thread of patience snap and he squared up, straightening to his full height so he near enough towered over Perry.

“You’ll what? B-be there to rescue her, like y-y-you were last night?” He moved closer threateningly- Perry actually stepped back, exchanging glances with his friends. “Where were you wh-when she was walking by herself-“

“Oh screw you buddy, leave her alone or-“

R snapped and grabbed Perry’s shoulder with his good hand, shoving him hard against the locker and holding him there.

“I’ve put up with your s-shit for too long, ‘buddy’. I don’t c-care anymore.” R snarled, giving him one short shove before pushing past the boys and near enough running to class.

Chapter Text

It took R hours to gather the courage to text Julie that evening. The rest of the day had passed without them bumping into eachother and he’d ended up sitting on his bed, staring at his phone for ages before he hurriedly typed, ‘Hi it’s R we talked earlier’ and pressing send before he could second guess himself. He did take a moment to curse his lack of proper grammar but the dinging of his phone interrupted him, making him realise how unusual it was for someone to text him.

‘Hi R! I was wondering when you’d text :)’

R smiled a little at the emoji, already formulating a reply.

‘Sorry, I got home late.’ Not quite a lie, he did live a bit far from school. He didn’t need to tell her how long he’d been staring at his phone before texting.

‘It’s fine! I checked with my dad, he’s ok with you coming over as long as you don’t impede my honour or something. He’s a bit traditional and weird.’

‘I promise I won’t impede your honour. Doesn’t he like your friends much?’ R replied, leaning back against the wall.

‘He likes Nora but thinks she’s a bit weird. She is. He’s kinda… odd with Perry. Thinks he isn’t man enough for me or something. I don’t really care, they’re my friends.’

Oh god. If Perry wasn’t man enough for Julie’s dad, what would he think of R? A skinny recluse with a stammer who could apparently break people’s faces with a punch but couldn’t talk to them. Well, maybe the face-breaking of the creeps in the alley would give him brownie points.

‘Anyway, I’ve gotta go to the shooting range tonight. Talk later! xx’

‘Sure, see you soon’

R locked his phone and set it on the bed beside him, leaning his head back and staring at the ceiling, where faded glow-in-the-dark stars were still stuck after a decade. That was the most interaction he’d had with anyone other than Marcus and the guy at the record store in years and he somehow felt drained.

At that moment he heard the front door slam and Marcus shout something like ‘I’m home!’ before a crash and cursing. R sighed and stood, going into the lounge where his pseudo-uncle had apparently tripped over the hat stand that they never used.

“Good, you’re home! I was wondering if I’d have to search the alleys for you.” Marcus grinned at him, setting a bag of groceries down on the counter and starting to put them away. R wordlessly joined him, the two settling into a comfortable silence for a few minutes. “So, how was school?”

R shrugged, smiling just slightly. “It w-was okay.” There was a pause before he continued. “Julie talked to m-me.”

“She thanked you, I hope?” Marcus replied, glancing over from where he was refilling the fridge.

R nodded,

“Y-yeah.” He paused again, looking down at his hands. “And she invited m-me to her house t-t-to study.” When he looked up again, Marcus had a huge grin on his face.

“Yeah? You gonna take her up on that?”

R shrugged, trying to act nonchalant.

“M-maybe. She seemed genuine.” In all honesty, he wasn’t sure- he’d seen enough movies to know that this could all be some weird trap set by the ‘popular kids’ at school.

He hoped it wasn’t.

‘It’ll be fine. It’ll be fine. It’ll be fine. It’ll be fine.’

R repeated the mantra in his head as he sat waiting for Julie outside the school. He’d pulled his hood up in an attempt to not be noticed and was staring at the floor, trying not to fidget. After around three minutes of waiting (despite getting there several minutes before the time they’d agreed to meet) his brain was already trying to convince him that Julie wasn’t coming, or it was some kind of trap, but it would admittedly be pretty cool if he did discover he had witch powers like in ‘Carrie’-

“Hey! Sorry I’m late, I left some books in my morning class.” R looked up to see Julie walking towards him fast, bag half open as she tried to cram some books and papers in one-handed. He stood up, meeting her halfway and holding the bag steady for her as she sorted it out. “Phew, thanks. I got distracted and left half my stuff behind.” Julie shrugged, shouldering the bag. “My dad’s driver should be picking us up in a few minutes, you ready to go?”

“Y-yeah.” R smiled unsteadily at her, following as she left towards the parking lot. There was a few moments of silence before he spoke again. “Your dad h-has a driver?” There was the unsaid question on why Julie was walking home the other night but he didn’t want to bring it up.

“Yeah, he’s always been pretty overprotective of me since- well. He doesn’t like me going out alone.” She smiled, but it wasn’t a particularly happy smile. “The other night… I started off at Perry’s. Then I left, and he didn’t come with. Oh, that’s the car.” She pointed at a shiny car that probably cost more than all of R’s possessions, his home and his life put together and led the other teenager towards it. The window rolled down and R faintly heard the driver greeting Julie before she opened the side door and clambered in, waving at R to follow.

“Straight home, as usual.” She instructed the driver, buckling her seatbelt and sitting back on the plush leather seat.

R sat stiffly, one hand gripping the seatbelt over his chest and the other still hanging onto his backpack. He hated riding in cars, or any vehicle, but he’d learned to live with it.

“Okay so, I got a bunch of new assignments from like, three different classes- I think biology, history and math? I probably still have photography to do too but I don’t know what I’m gonna do for it.” Julie chewed her lip thoughtfully, flicking through her overstuffed planner. For a girl who gave such a polished and perfect impression, she was a lot more… relaxed than R had imagined.

“I have… chemistry, h-history and uh. Music.” He gave a small smile, relaxing his grip on the seatbelt slightly. “N-not too b-bad.”

Julie smiled back, shoving her planner back in her bag and looking out the window.

“We’re nearly home. I’m thinking, do some studying, order takeout and watch a film? My mom built up this crazy movie collection, it takes up most of one of our rooms.” There was an edge of sadness to the claim but R nodded, watching her.

“That s-s-sounds nice.” Damn it, why couldn’t he talk normally?! She was probably getting weirded out by now. This whole thing was a bad idea, he should just make an excuse and go. Any second now.

“We’re home! C’mon, I’ll show you around before we study.” Julie opened the door and jumped out, leaving R to fumble with his seatbelt in her wake. When he finally did release himself from the car, he literally froze in shock for several seconds.

They were definitely in the nice part of town. Julie’s house was huge, three stories with a white front and- a balcony?! R had had no idea there were houses this nice in the city. God, his whole apartment would probably take up half of the bottom floor at most. The second he took a step he felt the urge to take off his shoes and leave them outside lest he track dirt into the house.

“Come on! I promise it’s not as daunting as it looks.” Julie called from the front door where she was… disabling several security locks, it looked like. She finally inserted the key into the front door and it swung open, revealing the- was that a lobby? In a house?

Rich people were weird, R decided.

“N-nice place.” He settled on saying, feeling relieved when he spotted the shoe rack and immediately placing his worn sneakers on the corner of it. And of course today he’d worn odd socks, because his luck was just amazing.

“Yeah, my dad bought it when he made Sergeant when I was a kid. It gets pretty empty though, when he’s gone. Sometimes I have parties but… they’re never much fun.” Julie trailed off, hanging her jacket up by the door. “Perry likes to have them more than I do.”

R had heard of the parties that happened at Julie’s house- he’d heard them described as what usually happens in crime drama episodes before two kids die of ecstasy overdose.

Okay, maybe that was a little exaggerated. It was mostly just the popular kids getting into someone’s parents liquor stash and really regretting it the next day.

“So, first floor is just the kitchen, the lounge and my dad’s office. Second floor has my room, a spare room and my mom’s office, third floor is mostly storage rooms. There is a basement but it is creepy, so let’s not do that.” Julie hummed as she led him up the stairs, stopping outside a door that seemed… not very Julie. It was a pale cream colour with her name in a flourishing black font and several iridescent butterflies coming off of it.

When she opened the door, the entire room seemed to match. Instead of the walls being covered in posters and pictures like R would expect a teenage girl’s room to look like, the walls were mostly plain except for a large corkboard covered in pictures and notes, and a desk that housed a laptop and a few figurines. Opposite that was a vanity table, with what looked like half of a pharmacy’s makeup supple scattered across it. Which was odd, as R had never seen Julie wear much makeup. Not that he’d been looking for it.

“So, welcome to my ‘humble abode’. I’m just gonna grab some stuff and we can go to the lounge.” She dumped her bag on the floor and grabbed a few books from inside it, then went to the desk and picked up her laptop. “Okay, lead the way.”

After they set up in the lounge- which, R was pretty sure, was larger than most of his apartment put together- Julie sat on the couch for several minutes, flicking through songs on her iPod.

“Ugh. None of this is good study music.” She wrinkled her nose, putting the iPod down. “Got any ideas, Mr Music Student?”

R turned slightly pink but grabbed his very outdated MP3 player from his bag, shuffling to where Julie had plugged her phone into some speakers before putting shuffle on his own studying playlist. The first song started and Julie nodded slowly, tapping her fingers on her planner to the beat.

“I haven’t heard this in ages. My mom loved this song.” She smiled, before opening one of her books on the couch next to her. “Right, I’m starting on biology. If you hear me screaming, that is totally normal. Do not be alarmed.”

R surprised himself by laughing aloud, something that rarely happened around anyone other than Marcus. Julie looked equally surprised but she grinned at him, pulling her legs up under her and beginning to scribble notes.

They settled into a comfortable silence as Julie worked on her biology and R… tried to work on anything. Just being in the presence of someone else in such a quiet, calm setting was strange and although he felt oddly calm and at peace with himself, his inner, asshole, anxious self was starting to freak out a bit.

A few hours passed surprisingly quickly once he’d forced himself to stop freaking out and had sort of settled into a mildly panicked state, in which he was luckily still able to study. He was about halfway done with his history work when Julie let out a loud sigh and shut her notebook, making him jump a little.

“My brain is melting and I need food. What do you want?” She shifted on the sofa and picked up her phone, swiping all of the message and social network notifications aside and unlocking it.

R shrugged, placing his books to the side and stretching out his aching joints. Sitting still for hours really wasn’t a great idea.

“You always do that.” He looked up, confused. “Shrugging. It’s a very non-committal gesture.” R couldn’t help it- he shrugged once more and smiled slightly at the unimpressed look on Julie’s face. “Fine. Kill your spine. Don’t blame me when you get stuck like that.”

“I-it’s just my p-posture.” R straightened up slightly shoulders cracking a little, and he winced.

“See? You really should work on that, buddy. I bet you’re really super tall under that slouch of yours.” Julie shook her head, typing something into her phone.

R smiled, ducking his head and pretending to read over his notes.

“You good with pizza?” Julie asked, presumably finding an ordering app. Before R could reply, the front door audibly opened and a confused expression crossed over her face. “Dad?” She called, turning in the direction of the front door.

There was a moment of silence before Julie’s dad- Sergeant Grigio, R reminded himself- stopped by the doorway.

“Julie. I thought you were going out tonight?” He asked, clearly as confused as she was. His expression hardened when he caught sight of R and the younger man did his best to not shrink in on himself. “Who’s this?”

“Dad, I told you I changed my plans. This is R. Remember, from the other night?” Julie prompted, and R meekly raised his (broken) right hand in a wave.

“Oh. You’re the one who knocked those bastards out?” Sergeant Grigio ran his eyes over R, settling for a moment on his broken right hand before returning to his face.

“Y-yes sir.”

“R, huh? Weird name.”

“Dad!” Julie shouted, crossing her arms.

“I-it’s a nickname, s-sir.” R managed to get out, having absolutely no idea what to do in this situation. Sergeant Grigio stared at him for a few more seconds before turning to his daughter.

“What happened to your plans?” He asked, mirroring her defensive pose.

“I didn’t want to go out with them tonight. I… may have had an argument. What’re you doing back here?”

“I left some files in my office.” There was several moments of awkward silence before he turned back to R. “Good job.” He said gruffly before quickly walking off in the direction of his office.

Julie sighed and rubbed her forehead, sitting back on the couch.

“Sorry, about him. He’s not exactly chatty.” She shrugged, pausing to glare and the smirk R sent her way at the action. “Shut up. Food’ll be here soon, I just ordered a bunch of stuff. Oh yeah- I can get Daniel to drop you off later, it’s already getting dark.”

R glanced outside- she was right, the sun was beginning to set.

“N-not necessary, but th-thank-you.” It was weird- R had imagined the study session to be awkward and stilted, and probably end way before this point but despite the ridiculously lavish (yet somehow rather empty) home and being in the company of one of the most popular and somehow nicest girls at school, he was enjoying it. Even if all they’d done was sit in silence and listen to music, but that was one of his favourite hobbies.

It was nice.

The pizza arrived quickly and R was only slightly surprised to see Julie give the delivery driver a $10 tip before she brought it in, shouting to her dad as she came back. A few minutes later he wordlessly entered the room, grabbing the pizza box Julie held out to him and exiting with a gruff, “Be good.” Before they heard the front door slam.

“H-he seems nice.” R remarked after a moment, standing next to the pile of pizza boxes.

Julie laughed quietly, shaking her head.

“He is, I promise. He’s just… since my mom died, he’s kinda withdrawn, I guess. Spends most of his time at work so it gets pretty lonely around here. It’s not too bad though.” Her smile turned sad and R had a sudden urge to try to make her feel better- unfortunately he had no idea how to.

“I’m s-sorry about your mom.” He said quietly, fiddling with a can of drink. He’d had no idea Julie’s mom had died and wasn’t quite sure if he should say anything else or not.

“It’s okay. Well it’s not but… you know.” Julie sighed, beginning to lay out the boxes and open them up. “So, movie?”

They had ended up watching a few episodes of some crime drama before realising how late it actually was.

“I should go, M-Marcus is probably wondering.” R began gathering his study supplies, carefully putting them into his worn backpack.

“Oh shit, yeah. I didn’t realise how late it was.” Julie jumped up, piling some of the pizza into one of the boxes and handing it to him. “Marcus?”

“M-my uncle. I live with him.” He said softly, zipping up his bag and standing up. Even slouching he was much taller than Julie. R could tell she was curious but thankfully she didn’t ask any other questions. “I’ll s-see you at school?”

“Yeah! We should totally do this again, you’re way easier to study with than Nora. She’s great but she talks so much.” Julie grinned, showing him to the door. She’d texted Daniel to bring the car to the house a few minutes before and he was already waiting outside.

“S-sounds good.” R smiled, standing awkwardly on the doorstep for a second. “See you a-around.”

“See you later! Text me when you get home safe.” Julie waved at him before closing the door as he turned and walked towards the car. Daniel looked at him a little strangely when he gave his address- he did after all live on what was referred to as the dodgy side of town- but complied, dropping him off right outside the apartment block. The elevator was yet again broken (he rarely used it anyway since he caught the couple from two floors down doing… something he’d rather not remember in it.) so he immediately headed for the several flights of stairs.

By the time he got to the top he was out of breath- living on the top floor gave you a great view but also a lot of exercise. He entered the apartment and dropped his bag and shoes near the door, heading to the sofa and effectively face-planting onto it.

“How was school?” Marcus’s voice came suddenly from the kitchen and R only jumped a little, used to his uncle appearing at random moments. He shrugged his shoulders as best he could before turning his head to speak properly.

“It was o-okay. Julie’s was n-n-nice.” R closed his eyes- the second-hand sofa was surprisingly comfy, even from this angle.

“Yeah? Did you two actually get work done?” Marcus waggled his eyebrows and laughed when R sat up and threw a cushion at him.

“D-don’t be an ass.” He grinned nonetheless, waiting for Marcus to sit down and turn the TV on before bringing out the leftover pizza. He took a second to reflect back on the day- Asshole (Perry) hadn’t bothered him, settling on glaring at him with his group of friends from across the hall. He’d managed to remain invisible otherwise, and had had a really good evening with Julie.

It couldn’t last, he knew it couldn’t. Julie would realise how weird he was and inevitably give up on him, the weird pale guy with the stammer who barely left the house. But for now… it was nice.

Chapter Text

The cafeteria at school was one of R’s least favourite places in the world, only behind anywhere claustrophobic and a room with only Perry and his followers. Unfortunately, it was also the only place in school where he could buy food after forgetting to bring his own, which led to him standing and contemplating whether it was worth getting food poisoning or not for several minutes before deciding not and going to sit down anyway.

He managed to find an empty table in the corner of the cafeteria hall and sat, pulling out his MP3 player and flicking through the songs, unable to decide. A few seconds later a tray slammed down on his table and R nearly jumped out of his skin, accidentally pulling his headphones out.

Nora, Julie’s best friend, pulled out the chair opposite him and sat down heavily. She glared at him and he shifted uncomfortably, looking away.

“So. Julie told me what happened.” She said shortly, beginning to eat her lunch while still staring at him.

“Um. What h-happened?” He replied, not quite sure what to do. Nora was an unknown to him- she was bold, brash and almost always said exactly what she was thinking. That was just about all he knew about her.

“Seriously? Did you hit your head in the alley or something?” Case in point. “You know, the fight. Where you broke your hand?”

“Oh. Yeah.” There was silence for a few moments before Nora spoke again.

“So, you’re pretty weird. I don’t think I actually heard you talk before today but Julie says you’re cool so… I guess you’re cool. Still weird, though.”

R actually smiled at that, although he wasn’t quite sure why. He’d been called weird all his life but this time it wasn’t mocking, it was friendly. It was sort of nice.

“So what’s with the stuttering then? Is it like, an actual condition or just something you’ve had since you were a kid?”

And there went his smile.

R didn’t like talking about his stutter, or what caused it. He felt himself begin to curl in slightly, as if trying to hide.

“Nora! I told you to not bother him.” Julie’s blessed voice broke the silence and she sat down next to her best friend, shoving her in the shoulder roughly. She smiled over at R as she unpacked her lunch, though she frowned when she saw he had nothing in front of him. “Didn’t you bring lunch?”

R shrugged, smiling just a little as her eyes narrowed at the action. He straightened up just slightly.

“F-forgot it. D-didn’t want to g-g-get food poisoning.”

“I bet you’re one of those weirdos who doesn’t eat breakfast too.” Julie rolled her eyes before pulling a second sandwich out of her bag and placing it on the table in front of her. “I always bring two in case I get hungry. Or Nora steals mine.”

“I do not! They just go missing.” Nora exclaimed, suddenly becoming very interested in her phone.

“I c-can’t-“ R began, beginning to push the sandwich back to Julie.

“Are you allergic to mayonnaise?” She interrupted, staring him down. He shook his head. “Then eat it.”

There was something strangely intimidating about the shorter girl and R instead drew the sandwich closer and began unwrapping it.

“So, I was talking to my dad last night and he wanted to invite you to dinner.” Julie announced casually, either ignoring or not noticing R suddenly choking on his food.

Nora leaned over the table and helpfully thumped R on the back a few times before sitting back down and looking at him thoughtfully.

“Give me your hand.” She said abruptly, holding one of her own hands out and rummaging in her bag with the other.

R cleared his throat a few times before hesitantly holding his left hand out.

“The other one. The one with the cast, come on!” Nora insisted, making grabby-hands until he did as he was told. She produced a Sharpie and- surprisingly gently- manoeuvred his arm around until she reached a flat part of the plaster cast and began scribbling something onto it.

R shot an alarmed glance at Julie but she shrugged, rolling her eyes at her friend’s antics.

“There you go. My official stamp of approval.” Nora announced, sitting back and capping the Sharpie.

R looked to his hand, spotting the tiny, scribbled sketch of what looked like himself as a stickman, complete with hand cast and messy black hair.

“N-not bad.” He remarked, then suddenly remembered what had made him choke in the first place. “Wh-why does your d-d-dad want me over?”

“He said he felt bad about making a bad first impression the other night.”

“Seriously? He said that?” Nora interrupted, clearly disbelieving.

“… Okay, maybe I said it and he agreed.” Julie sighed, packing her bag after finishing her lunch. “But still, we haven’t had anyone over in ages. Indulge me.” She smiled at R, leaning her hand on her cheek.

She was very hard to resist.

“O-okay, I guess.” He conceded, wondering what the hell he was letting himself in for.

“Great! He’s meant to be at home Saturday if you want to come over? I mean, he might cancel but he hasn’t properly been home in a while so.” Julie smiled, clearly happy with his agreement.

It still didn’t mean R was looking forward to it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

‘Right. All I have to do is make a good second impression with Julie’s dad, survive through dinner and not make myself look like a total idiot. Easy.’

It wasn’t going to be easy.

R was officially beginning to freak out. He’d never met a friend’s parents before- hell, he’d barely had friends before! There was way too much to think about- what he should wear, what he should talk about, how to make it not look like he was some kind of weird creepy stalker to Julie, how-

“Kiddo, lunch is ready.” Marcus knocked on his door, opening it after there was no reply. He found R sitting on his bed, staring at his wardrobe with narrowed eyes. “You okay?”

“I don’t know.” R replied plainly, not moving. He registered Marcus walking towards him, then his weight joining him on the bed.

“Is it that kid from school?” Marcus gently prompted, nudging R’s arm. The teenager shook his head, running a hand through his hair.

“N-no. H-h-he hasn’t b-been around much.” It was true- Perry hadn’t been bothering him as much recently. It was probably Julie telling him to back off, or the Asshole got freaked by R’s retaliation. If you could call it that. It was good, but he knew it wouldn’t last long.

“Okay, so? What is it?” His uncle wasn’t giving up and R relented, slumping a little and rubbing his forehead, feeling a headache coming on.

“J-Julie. Invited me t-t-to dinner. With h-her dad.” He managed to grind out, staring at his wardrobe again.

“Sergeant Grigio?” Marcus let out a noise that wasn’t quite a grunt and seemed to think for a moment. “Huh. He never seemed like the sociable type to me.” At R’s questioning look, he continued, “I’ve met him a few times in passing at work, and he’s sometimes on TV if there’s something big going on. Not a man of many words.”

“Y-yeah, he seemed it. He d-dropped by a-a-at our study night.” Ugh, the stress was making his voice worse. Maybe he should just text Julie and cancel.

“So why’re you stressing over it so much? He probably just wants to thank you for the alley.” Marcus grinned, shoving R’s shoulder lightly. “Also, sit up a bit. Your posture is worse than mine.”

R smiled, looking at his hands and the sketch of himself on his cast.

“Th-that’s what Julie s-says.” He replied quietly, playing with his fingers.

“She’s a smart girl, I’d listen to her.” Marcus put an arm around his shoulders and gave him a squeeze, before releasing him and standing. “C’mon, food first. Then crisis.”

It was a compelling argument and one R could easily follow, so he stood and followed his pseudo-uncle to the kitchen. A few minutes after they’d settled on the sofa his phone pinged with a text.

‘Are you allergic to anything? I don’t wanna send you to hospital by accident.’

R smiled, putting down his food to reply and feeling all too aware of Marcus’s eyes on him.

‘Not that I know of. Thanks for the concern’

“What’s she saying?” Marcus asked, obviously trying to be nonchalant and failing.

“Ch-checking allergies.” R replied, looking back down as his phone pinged again.

‘I think we’ve had enough hospital trips in our friendship :P’

‘Yeah, I don’t think your dad would appreciate another’

‘Hey, he seemed impressed after the first one. Definitely a good first impression! I’ve gotta go, I’ll ask Daniel to come get you at 6? Xx’

“Sounds good. :)’

R locked and put down his phone, before turning to see Marcus looking at him a little sadly.

“Y-you okay?” He asked, not sure what he’d done wrong.

“Yeah, it’s just… I don’t think I’ve ever heard your phone make a noise before.” He attempted a grin but it was still tinged with sadness. “You seem to really like this girl. I just- I don’t think I realised how few people you knew.”

R knew he meant friends and he sighed, looking down at his hands.

“I-I’ve always b-been okay with it. B-b-being alone. Less st-stressful.” He smiled up at Marcus, hoping to dispel some of the sad atmosphere that had accumulated.

“Yeah, true. I guess I can’t have done too badly with you.” Marcus smiled and R stood, going to where he sat and dragging his uncle up and into a hug.

“Y-you’re the best.” He mumbled into Marcus’s shoulder, feeling him wrap him up and squeeze him. “J-just don’t pick m-me up.”

Marcus laughed, releasing him.

“I stopped being able to pick you up when you were 12 and nearly as tall as me, you beanpole.” R laughed quietly and sat back down. “Definitely your mom’s genes there.”

R smiled, curling up on the sofa, facing Marcus.

“Y-yeah? I d-don’t really remember.”

“Did I tell you about when your dad nearly got into a fight at a bar? Your mom stepped in and knocked the other guy clean off his feet, it was incredible.” Marcus laughed and R grinned, settling his chin on one hand. He’d heard the story many times but he loved it when Marcus told him about his parents. It made it feel like they weren’t completely gone.

~*~*~*~*~

R and Marcus got so into telling stories that they didn’t notice the time flying by until R got the text about Daniel being outside his apartment. He sprang off the sofa and ran to his room, rooting through his wardrobe and finding his smartest shirt and a pair of jeans that didn’t make him look scruffy. It took a few minutes. He grabbed a jacket and waved goodbye to Marcus, flying down the stairs and greeting Daniel outside. Marcus watched him go fondly, smiling; R hadn’t thought twice about leaving that time.

“You okay? You look a bit red.” Daniel asked as he pulled the car out and onto the road.

R nodded, trying to not breath too heavily. The flights of stairs always took a number out of him, especially if he ran. “L-lift is broken. I live on th-th-the top floor.”

Daniel whistled, wincing.

“Wow. At least it’s exercise though, right?”

R gave a nervous laugh and settled back in his seat, just about getting his breathing under control. The worry was creeping back in around the edges but Daniel kept up a stream of random chatter which helped distract him from the fact that he was in a car and going to meet Sergeant Grigio, one of the most terrifying men on the police force.

He was screwed.

They reached Julie’s house in just a few minutes and R all but fell out of the car in his eagerness to be outside. He nodded goodbye to Daniel, who then drove off, and began walking up the steps to his doom- or rather, Julie’s house. He knocked a few times on the front door, stepping back to look at the place before the door opened and Julie appeared.

“Awesome, you’re right on time! Dinner’s just about done.” She grabbed his hand and lead him into the kitchen, which was tucked away at the back of the house.

“I d-didn’t know you w-w-were making dinner.” R said, looking at the slight bombsite that was the kitchen. “I w-would’ve helped.”

“You’re sweet. Don’t worry though, I like cooking as long as it’s not just for myself. Pasta and frozen stuff gets real boring after a while.” Julie smiled at him, draining something over the sink and then handing two plates to R. “The dining room’s through there, my dad always sits at the head of the table because he’s dramatic but we can sit anywhere.”

R took the plates through and set them on the table, returning to be handed a few glasses and a bowl of salad.

“I’ll go get my dad, you can wait in there.” She told him before running upstairs, taking the steps two at a time.

R nodded absently, looking around the dining room. One wall- the largest wall- was covered in framed photos, most centring around Julie and her parents. There were several of her and one parent, or just her parents together, but they all seemed to be dated before around two years ago. That must have been when Julie lost her mom- R knew all too well how easy it was to stop some habits when you lose someone close to you.

A thundering noise announced Julie’s return and R turned to see her coming through the door.

“He’ll be down in a minute, he’s just wrapping up something.” She shook her head, sitting down at the table and gesturing for R to do the same. “Oh yeah, Nora had a message for you. Something like, if you get up to any ‘funny business’ she’ll make sure they never find the body.” She took a sip from her drink and ignored how R had gone slightly white.

“Sh-she’s… interesting.” He commented, glancing around the room a little more. There were quite a few photos of Julie and Nora on the wall too, they must have known eachother for years.

“She’s really weird, you can say it,” Julie laughed, making R grin in return. “She doesn’t really have a filter and has this habit of turning up outside at 2AM. But I love her.” Her smile turned fond just as Sergeant Grigio entered the room and she turned to face him. “Finally! Dinners getting cold.”

“Sorry, I was working.” Sergeant Grigio grunted as he sat down and picked up his cutlery. Julie did the same and R took this as a sign to follow. “Good to see you again… R.”

“Y-you too, sir.” R replied, doing his best to make eye contact. It was awkward.

There was silence for a few seconds as they began to eat- which wasn’t any less awkward- before Sergeant Grigio spoke again.

“So. R. What were you doing in that alley?”

Oh god, it was an interrogation. This whole evening was probably a plot to find out if R was some weird stalker or something.

“Dad, you’re being weird again.” Julie monotoned from opposite R, taking a drink from a glass holding what looked suspiciously like wine, actually.

“I’m just asking a question, Julie.” Her father replied, stony gaze still set on R.

“I-I was going t-t-to the vinyl store, s-sir.” R answered, trying to not be put on edge by the glare. It didn’t work very well.

“You like vinyls?” Julie asked, her interest seemingly piqued. R suddenly realised they hadn’t really discussed much out of school and studying.

“Y-yeah, I collect th-them.” R smiled at her, immediately feeling a little more at ease talking about something he knew. “You can c-come see them, i-i-if you l-like.” Shit, maybe he shouldn’t have outright asked in front of her dad.

“Sounds good.” Julie replied, smiling back at him. There was a few seconds of silence while everyone tried to think of a topic to discuss.

“So… What do your parents do?”

Shit.

“N-nothing. Th-they’re dead, sir.” R replied, feeling his face heat up a bit as he looked at his food.

“Oh.” Sergeant Grigio replied, the silence turning more awkward by the second. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

R shrugged, trying to not feel the weight of their eyes upon him.

“I-it’s alright, sir. It h-h-happened a l-long time ago.”

“That doesn’t make it any better.” R looked up to see Julie looking at him sadly. She reached across the table and gave his hand a quick squeeze.

The rest of the dinner passed relatively quickly, with the three of them making only slightly awkward small talk every so often. When Julie stood up to clear the plates, R stood to help but Julie stopped him with a look.

“You’re a guest, you can sit your ass- your butt down.” She said, after glancing at her dad.

Then R was alone with Sergeant Grigio. He could faintly hear Julie moving in the kitchen- probably tidying up- which was a little comforting but he could still feel her dad’s eyes on him.

“Who do you live with?” Sergeant Grigio asked abruptly and R turned, surprised.

“M-my uncle. He adopted m-m-me, after th-the accident.” He answered, turning to face him properly. If he stood up straight he’d probably be taller than the man, but he stayed slouched. His height apparently made him more intimidating.

“Oh? And what does he do?” R wasn’t sure if the Sergeant was genuinely interested or just checking if R’s guardian had a sketchy background. Probably the latter.

“He’s a th-therapist for traumatised k-k-kids. Like I w-was.” R smiled. Marcus had begun training as a therapist a year after R lost his parents, wanting to be able to help his newfound adopted child and others like him. “H-he’s met you, before. He w-w-works for t-the SSTC?” The Society for the Support of Troubled Children had featured heavily in a few recent police campaigns. “His name’s Marcus.”

Sergeant Grigio seemed to think for a moment before he spoke.

“Is he around this high,” He held his hand somewhere near his cheek, “And bald?”

R grinned- Marcus hated being called bald.

“Y-yeah, that’s him.”

“Ah. He’s known as M around there, I think it’s something the kids came up with.”

R considered what he was going to say before speaking hesitantly.

“I-it was me. A l-lot of kids w-w-weren’t very nice ab-about my stutter, so h-he.” He took a breath, trying to calm down a little. His anxiety was trying to worm its way out and make everything worse. “He told everyone t-to call him M, to m-m-match R.”

“I see.” Sergeant Grigio was silent for a moment. “He seems like a good man.”

“H-he is.” R said without hesitation that time.

For a moment, Sergeant Grigio seemed genuinely unsure about what he was going to say, shifting for a moment before standing still.

“Do you- do you mind if I ask about-“

He seemed uncomfortable about asking something politely rather than demanding it. It was probably something to do with being a police sergeant, although R wouldn’t be surprised if it was Julie who tried to force him into being polite.

“T-the stutter?” He finished the sentence, just wishing for it to be over. The man before him near enough sagged with relief before straightening again.

“Yes. That.”

R sighed internally, bracing himself. He didn’t really want to answer but Sergeant Grigio had a presence that just made you want to confess to your every sin.

“I-it’s neurogenic, s-sir.” Was all he managed to get out before Julie came back into the room, drying her hands on her jeans.

“All done!” She seemed to notice the tense atmosphere between her dad and her friend instantly. “Everything okay?”

“Yes, everything’s fine.” Sergeant Grigio spoke quickly, glancing at his daughter to R before standing. “Well. I should get back to my work. It was good to speak with you, R.” He offered his hand and R immediately stood and shook it, forcing himself to not shy away from the touch. “See you later, Julie.”

“Yeah.” Julie replied shortly, watching her father exit and looking a little sad. She brightened when she turned back to R though. “That’s probably the longest he’s been in this room in two years.”

R smiled, a little relieved that he had left.

“I-is he n-not often home?” He asked, taking a sip of his drink.

“No, not usually. He finds every reason available to stay at work or in his office. It’s… it’s pretty sad. He’s been lonely, I think. Since my mom.” There was a short silence before she sighed and clapped her hands together. “So. You like vinyls?”

R nodded, feeling the tense atmosphere in the room shift.

“Y-yeah. M-M-Marcus says I-I’m hoarder.”

Julie grinned at him, rubbing her hands together.

“You’re gonna love this then.”

She lead him up the large flight of stairs to the second floor and to where R remembered she had called her mom’s office. Julie paused just outside, her hand just shy of touching the door handle.

“I haven’t really been in here since my mom died.” She said quietly, hand still frozen in place.

R hesitantly (and comfortingly, he hoped) placed his unbroken hand on one of her shoulders.

“Y-you don’t have t-t-to show me.” He said quietly, not wanting to accidentally hurt her.

Julie took a deep breath, put her hand on the door handle and pushed it down.

“No. I’d like to.” She opened the door slowly before stepping inside. R hesitantly followed, looking around the surprisingly small room.

There was a desk under the window covered in bits of paper and stationary, as well as several family photos. One of the drawers was half open and the inside was a mess- it reminded R of Marcus’s ‘filing system’. One wall had a huge painting of some kind of flowered tree on it, and the other-

Wow.

At least three shelves of the large display cabinet were full of vinyl records, and a clearly vintage record player was sitting in the centre. It was certainly bigger than R’s personal collection, and exactly what he hoped to accumulate in a few years. There was also a small plush sofa by it, one of the seats more worn than the other from use.

“W-wow…” He murmured, taking the room in, before realising Julie had stopped in the centre of it. He couldn’t see her face so he approached her, startled to see that her eyes were a little red as she looked around. “A-are… are you o-okay?”

Julie sniffled, rubbing her eyes.

“Yeah. I just… I expected it to be different. It’s exactly the same.” She smiled, going to the desk and brushing some papers aside. “She wrote a tonne. Always coming up with new ideas, writing them on anything close to her. Real creative.”

“Sh-she sounds l-l-like you.” R dared to say, relieved when she let out a breathy laugh.

“I wish I was more like her.” There was a few moments of silence. “She was so different from dad. Always used to say you need to find someone completely different to you to be happy.” Julie sighed, looking around the room. “What were your parents like?”

R was surprised at the question but Julie spoke again before he had the chance.

“Sorry, I don’t- I don’t want to intrude.”

“N-no, it’s okay.” He smiled at her. “Th-they both worked f-for air traffic c-c-control. How t-they met.”

Julie looked at him with a small smile. “Yeah? They liked planes then?” She sat down on the small sofa by the display cabinet.

R laughed quietly, sitting beside her.

“Y-yeah. I had s-s-so many toy planes w-w-when I was a k-kid.” That got a smile out of Julie and R immediately felt a little more relaxed.

“Have you ever been in one? I have, twice. We went to Italy when I was a kid.” She stood up and walked to the desk, hesitating for a moment before picking up one of the framed photographs that sat there. “I was seven.” She brought it back over and offered it to him.

R took it gently, brushing the thin layer of dust from the frame. There wasn’t much dust in the room- he assumed Julie’s dad probably had a cleaner visit to avoid him having to enter the room itself.

He recognised the photo from the wall downstairs- in it, Julie’s parents were standing in front of the Leaning Tower of Pisa, Julie sitting on her dad’s shoulders and all three of them grinning at the camera.

“I think that’s the only time I’ve ever seen my dad wearing shorts.” Julie commented, making R laugh.

“I-it looks fun. The h-h-holiday, not the s-shorts.” He grinned, handing the photo back. She took it and smiled at it, before placing it back on the desk.

“So, what’s Marcus like? I’ve only heard you mention him a few times.” It was a quick change in direction but R was quite glad they weren’t talking about dead parents anymore.

“H-he’s… like Nora. A bit. St-strange but good.”

Julie laughed, pulling her legs up onto the sofa.

“I’ll have to meet him to compare. Oh god, could you imagine them in the same room?”

A slightly terrified expression dawned on R’s face, only making Julie laugh harder.

“J-Jesus. That w-would be t-t-terrifying.” He whispered.

“Or hilarious. Or both.” Julie replied. There was a few moments of companionable silence before she spoke again. “D’you wanna look at the vinyl’s? We haven’t used the player in a few years but it probably still works.”

They found that it did- after being dusted a little- and spend the rest of the evening perusing the expansive collection. R found a few that he also had and many that he knew were worth quite a lot of money so he handled every one like glass. Before they knew it, it was past dark and R’s phone suddenly buzzed, making them both jump.

“I-it’s Marcus. I-I-I should head b-back.” R fumbled with the phone, sending a quick text. They stood in sync, standing still for a few moments.

“Maybe we could do this again some time. At your place?” Julie asked carefully after lifting the needle from the playing record.

R felt his cheeks heat up and he nodded, looking away slightly to hide his blush. No-one had ever asked to go to his home.

“S-sure. M-maybe after sc-school?” He asked, fidgeting with his hands.

“Sounds good. I’ll text Daniel to see if he can give you a lift. Tuesday okay with you? I’m seeing Perry on Monday.” He nodded, shoving his hands in his jean pockets. The mention of Perry dimmed his mood a little bit didn’t completely blacken it. “Cool!”

R was starting to doubt if Daniel was ever off duty, but he arrived quickly and, without complaint, took R home.

Marcus was asleep on the sofa by the time he got in so he quietly moved to his room, shutting the door and switching on the light.

Shit.

He suddenly realised why Marcus called him a hoarder. He had so much stuff. He’d definitely have to tidy before Julie came over- oh god, Julie was coming over. She was going to meet his uncle and see his tiny flat that was about one tenth of the size of her house-

R felt his breath catch in his throat, his heart begin to beat hard and fast and he sat down heavily on his bed. What- was he seriously having an anxiety attack over this? Over a friend coming over? Yes, apparently he was. His breathing turned a bit wheezy and he bent over to place his head between his knees like his psychiatrist used to make him do. Even with his eyes shut the room seemed to spin and he squeezed them shut tighter, clenching his hands into fists and trying to focus on the sensation of his nails digging into his palms.

“Kiddo? You home?” He faintly heard Marcus’s voice and a knocking, before the sound of the door opening and footsteps on the worn carpet announced his uncle’s arrival. “Shit- R-“

Marcus walked over quickly and crouched in front of him, placing a hand on his shoulder and the other on his clenched fists. R could just about hear him instructing him on how to breath and counting slowly, and he tried to focus on that instead of the feeling of panic swirling in his head.

“… 2, 3, that’s good.” A few more rounds of counting and R felt at least stable enough to begin sitting up. “That’s better. You okay?”

R nodded weakly, focusing on Marcus’s voice as he sat up.

“What brought this on?” His uncle asked gently, sitting beside him.

R swallowed, looking down at the crescent-shaped nail marks on his hands.

“I-I-“ He managed before he felt the panic rising again and he returned to trying to breathing steadily.

“Was it the Sergeant? Do I need to fight him?” Marcus said sincerely, startling a weak and slightly hysterical laugh out of R. “I could definitely take him on.”

“N-no,” He replied, rubbing his forehead shakily. “J-Julie. She w-w-wants to c-c-come over.” It was stupid. It was so stupid, the most ridiculous thing to have an anxiety attack over. Why was he like this? Why did he overreact to every little goddamn thing?

“R? R, buddy, breath.” R felt Marcus’s hand on his arm and he let out a shuddering breath, not realising he’d stopped breathing until then. His hands hurt- the nail marks were even more present. Had he been clenching his hands?

“S-sorry.” He whispered, eyes on the floor.

“Nothing to be sorry about, kiddo. You don’t have to invite her if you don’t want to, you know that right?” Marcus put an arm around him slowly and gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“Y-yeah. I do w-w-want her t-to, I j-just…”

“It’s a first. I get it.” There was no way in hell that R deserved to have Marcus as his guardian. “It’ll be fine. I promise I’ll hide anything weird. Not including myself.”

R smiled shakily, turning his head to glance up at the other man.

“Wh-what about y-y-your slippers?” He whispered, not quite feeling up to talking.

“Those also not included. They’re too amazing to not show off.” Marcus grinned at him. “Come on, you get some sleep and think about it tomorrow.”

Chapter Text

“Well, it looks like the bones have already healed. I hope you’ve been resting it and not gotten into any more fights?” R’s doctor asked, glancing up at him while cutting the thick cast around his hand and wrist before prising the two pieces apart.

R nodded, watching as the cast was removed before wiggling his fingers and very slowly rotating his wrist.

“Y-Yeah. I d-d-don’t fight often.” He replied, rubbing his wrist. It felt weird to not have a constraint on it for the first time in three weeks.

“Good. The least I see you in here, the better.” The doctor commented, picking up a chart and scribbling something on it before tearing a piece of paper off and handing it to him. “Don’t over-excise it, don’t do any sports for a while and don’t punch anything. Please.”

R smiled, taking the paper in his newly-freed hand.

“I’ll d-do my best.” As the doctor picked up the discarded cast, he remembered something. “Um. Could I- could I k-keep that?” He pointed to the part of the cast with Nora’s scribbled stickman and the doctor glanced at it before carefully cutting the area around it out and handing it to him. “Th-thanks.”

He exited the doctor’s office to meet Marcus in the lobby, who was staring blankly at some posters on the wall before he noticed his nephew’s presence.

“Hey! You’re done already?” R nodded, raising his now-free hand and wiggling the fingers. “Great. There’s still a few hours of school left, you want to go in or skip it?”

“S-surely you should b-b-be discouraging s-skipping school?” R smiled, rubbing his hand as he worked the stiffness out of his joints.

“Eh, it’s a Wednesday. Nothing interesting ever happens on Wednesdays.” Marcus grinned and clapped R on the shoulder. “What’ll it be?”

R thought for a moment before deciding.

“I-I’ll go in. Just in c-c-case.” Might as well. He might even catch lunch and get to sit with Julie and Nora again. That’d be nice.

“Alright. If you change your mind, let me know.” Marcus replied, leading the way to the exit.

R took a moment to wonder if anyone else’s family was like his before shrugging the thought off and following him.

~*~*~*~

R ended up hailing a taxi outside the hospital and got dropped off just outside the school as the lunch bell rang. After dropping his doctors note off at the reception he made his way to his locker, slowing when he heard raised voices up ahead.

“I don’t like you hanging around him, he’s a freak!”

That would be Perry. But that meant-

“He’s not a freak, you’re just an asshole. I can hang around anyone I want, you don't own me!”

It was like a weird repeat of their encounter in the alleyway, except now he would probably get into trouble for punching a guy. R sped up his pace a little to get to the lockers, the voices growing louder as he neared them.

“What’s he ever done for you? I’m your boyfriend and you’re hanging out with the zombie of all people?!” R turned the corner to where the lockers began and saw a Julie facing Perry, who had two of his friends behind him and was attempting to tower over Julie.

“Don’t call him that. You have no idea who he is, you’ve spend the last few years ripping on him for no reason than for something he can’t help. You know what that makes you?” Julie stepped closer, unintimidated by the taller boy who looked ready to blow. “That makes you a bully. What the hell happened to you, Perry?” The last sentence was spoken in a hushed tone, as if she hadn’t meant it to come out.

“What the hell happened to you?! One minute you’re you, the next- I don’t like what he’s done to you-“

R reached them at that moment and put out a hand out to stop the guy as Perry stepped forward, still trying to intimidate Julie who still stood her ground. Perry clearly hadn’t seen R coming as he stumbled back after the shove R gave, being caught by one of his friends behind him. He shook it off, shoving his friend away to square up to R instead.

“Great, look who’s shown up where he isn’t wanted. Again.” Perry snarled, trying to match R’s height despite being several inches shorter.

“I’d rather be around him than you right now, Per.” Julie whispered, hands clenched into fists at her side. “I’m going to wait for you to calm down and be rational, if you can manage it. Then we’ll talk.” With that, she spun on her heel and walked away just as Nora turned the corner she was headed to.

“Julie! I’ve been looking for-“ Julie passed her without a second glance and Nora stopped, looking from her friend to R, then to Perry. A look of understanding dawned on her face and she sent a hard glare to both boys before running after her friend.

R’s eyes stayed on the corner they turned before he felt a hard jab in his back and he turned to find Perry inches from his face.

“I don’t like you.” He growled, and R had to supress a snort.

“R-really?” He managed to reply before Perry spoke again.

“You’re a freak. I don’t know how you think this is gonna turn out- do you seriously think she’ll stay interested in you? You’re like a pet, and she’ll get bored of you soon.” He stepped back a little, still staring R dead in the eyes. “What the hell does she see in you?” He shook his head, turning to leave.

“Where were you?” Perry froze, turning slowly after R spoke.

“What? The hell are you-“

“When J-J-Julie was attacked. Wh-where were y-you?” R’s voice was just above a whisper but the corridor was next to silence, despite the several students milling about who had stopped to watch the argument.

“I- what the hell does that matter-“ Perry was flustered, looking around as if for a way out.

R stepped forward, straightening up to his full height to tower over Perry.

“I h-h-helped her. She w-w-wouldn’t have n-needed it if you were th-there.” Although he didn’t know if Perry would have run or fought. “Where w-were you?”

There was a moment of silence before Perry replied.

“Screw you, freak.” He spat, turning again and hurrying away with his friends trailing after him.

R stood alone in the corridor for several seconds before the usual noise around him returned, the students who had stopped for the fight going back to their usual business. He wasn’t sure what to do- should he go after Julie and Nora or leave them alone? He’d managed to not completely screw up anything so far but he had no idea how to help someone’s romantic relationship.

He ended up standing in that corridor for the rest of lunch break without noticing it and nearly jumped out of his skin when the lunch bell rang, before he hurried to class. None of the classes he had that evening- namely music and chemistry- had Julie in them, or Perry for that matter. At least he had that to be thankful for.

The last lesson passed in a distracted haze for him and it was only when the final bell sounded that he broke out of it, looking down at his notes to find he’d only managed a few shaky words with his newly freed hand. He sighed and packed up his things, slinging his backpack over his shoulder and exiting through the back exit to avoid the crowds leaving through the front.

As he entered the car park through the back exit, he caught sight of a familiar blonde girl sitting on the bench near the pick-up point. He hesitated, fiddling with his bag strap for a moment, before heading over.

Julie didn’t seem to react at all as he reached her, hovering awkwardly to her right.

“H-hey.” He whispered, head ducked and looking away slightly.

Julie started slightly, then looked up at him.

“Oh. Hey.” She replied. There was silence for several moments before she spoke again. “I’m sorry you heard that. Perry got… annoyed, when I said you came over again. He’s just being an ass.” She sounded so quiet and sad- so unlike herself.

“I-it’s okay. I… I understand if y-you don’t want t-t-to be f-friends, anymore.” R murmured, twisting his hands together nervously.

Julie’s head whipped around so fast that he worried she’d give herself whiplash.

“What?! What the hell gave you that idea?” She exclaimed, staring at him as if he’d just told her he was an actual zombie.

R was stunned silent for a moment.

“I- I’ve c-caused so m-m-much trouble, I’ve m-made him angry a-a-at you, I-“

“So you think I wouldn’t wanna be friends with you? And I thought Nora was dramatic.” Julie gave a weak laugh and ran a hand through her hair. “R… You’re a great friend. You’re really sweet and funny, and even when I keep emotion-dumping on you, you just listen, instead of telling me ‘it isn’t that bad’ and trying to make it about you.” Somehow R felt that was related to Perry too. “I don’t wanna lose you as a friend, even if it pisses Perry off.”

“Oh.” R replied, yet again having no idea what to say. A few moments passed in silence before Julie let out a huge sigh, leaning her head back and closing her eyes.

“I don’t know what I’m doing. Dad won’t be home for ages, Perry’s pissed at me. Nora has her brother’s piano recital.” Her voice dropped to a murmur as if she’d forgotten that R was there. “I don’t want to go home.”

Another few moments passed before R quietly replied.

“Do- do you w-want to come o-over?”

Chapter Text

Julie’s eyes opened and she looked at him before sitting up properly.

“Would you mind? I don’t wanna impose, I just… I don’t know.” She shrugged, looking very small.

“S-sure. I even t-t-tidied last night.” He managed a grin and was so, so relieved to see Julie smile back at him. “D-do you want to w-w-walk or ask D-Daniel?”

“He’s already on his way. We might as well ask him to drop us off.” Julie looked up as a car pulled into the school carpark and flashed its lights at her. “Speak of the devil.” The two students stood and waited for the car to stop before getting in as Daniel greeted them.

“Hey guys. Where am I going first?” He asked, twisted around to look at them properly.

“Actually I’m going to R’s tonight for a bit. Can you pick me up later?” Julie replied, typing out a text to someone.

Daniel glanced between the two before nodding.

“Sure. You’ll be the one explaining to your dad if he asks though, I’m not brave enough for that.” Daniel joked as he pulled out of the carpark.

“Already done, I’m not that stupid.” Julie shot back, smiling. She turned the smile to R and he weakly grinned back, despite gripping his bag so hard his knuckles were white. God he hated cars so much. “Is your uncle gonna be home?”

R hadn’t thought about that. He was suddenly really glad they’d worked together tidying the apartment the night before.

“Uh… m-maybe? He might st-still be working.” Marcus’s job unfortunately meant he kept weird hours, often coming home at 3AM and got called out at any hour of the day.

“Aw. I’d like to meet him if I can, he sounds great.”

R laughed quietly, looking down to where he was holding his bag and forcing his fingers to relax.

“He is. H-h-he’s a bit… weird. B-but great.”

There was silence for a bit as they drove through the streets and they each looked out of their windows.

“Wow, R… you live pretty far from school. Do you get the bus?” Julie asked, watching as the larger houses faded into smaller ones, and then into tightly-packed apartment blocks as they reached R’s neighbourhood.

“S-sometimes. I like w-w-walking though.” He replied, turning back from the window as he spoke.

“That must take ages though! Was that what you were doing on that night?” Without even saying it, R knew she was talking about the night in the alley.

“N-no. My vinyl player br-broke, I was g-g-going to the shop t-to get a new needle.”

“Did you get it?”

“N-no.” R grinned at her though. “B-but I d-d-don’t mind.”

Julie smiled back at him, reaching over to squeeze his arm.

“Thank-you. For being there.”

“Any time.” R replied honestly, immediately missing the feeling of her hand on his arm the moment she pulled away. Glancing out of the window again he noticed they were entering his neighbourhood and he inwardly sighed with relief at the thought of exiting the vehicle.

“We’re here, kiddos. Jules, give me a text when you want picking up and don’t get up to any funny business.” Daniel winked at her through the side mirror and Julie groaned, exiting the now parked car.

“You’re hilarious. See you in a few hours.” R followed suite, trying not to make it look like he was in a desperate scramble to get out of the car. He liked to think he managed it. They watched Daniel drive off as R fumbled with his keyring, opening the door to the apartment complex and holding it open for Julie to enter first.

“S-sorry it’s a bit…” He trailed off, not really wanting to comment on how… gross the entrance was. The carpet was stained from years of use and not being cleaned, the walls had gone a horrible yellow colour thanks to the smokers in apartment 3 and there was graffiti on the ceiling, of all places.

“It’s fine.” Julie replied, looking around- luckily not with disgust, R noted. “Shall we take the lift?”

“N-no!” R stopped her hand before she could press the ‘up’ button. “T-trust me, the st-st-stairs are better.” Probably shouldn’t mention the couple from 5A who, for some reason, seemed to enjoy public indecency in there. A lot. It was really gross.

“Okay.” Julie was a constant surprise- she’d grown up in a lavish mansion (or at least, a large house) and wasn’t flinching at the run-down complex around her. He would have thought she’d be at least grossed out but it didn’t seem so.

“I p-promise our ap-apartment is nicer.” He weakly joked as they started up the stairs, R slightly ahead. He heard Julie laugh and relaxed slightly.

They didn’t speak as they ascended to the top floor and ended up both slightly out of breath, Julie leaning against the wall while R unlocked the door to his apartment.

True to his work, it was a lot nicer than the rest of the building they had seen. In the years R and Marcus had lived together they’d both worked in making the small space into something nice, if a little cramped sometimes. Unfortunately, R was a bit of a hoarder.

“Yeah, this is way nicer.” Julie commented as she entered, immediately removing her shoes and placing them by the door.

“M-Marcus?” R called, waiting for a reply and not sure if he was feeling relieved or not when none came. “He’s p-probably still a-a-at work.” He dumped his backpack by the door too and turned to face Julie. “W-welcome. It’s… home.” He finished a bit lamely, raising his arms a little.

Julie smiled at him, placing her bag by his.

“It’s nice. You sure own a lot of stuff though.” She hung her jacket up on a peg on the wall, taking her phone from the it and pocketing it.

“I-I collect.” R replied, a little embarrassed.

“Yeah, I can see that. You, my friend, are a hoarder.” Julie smiled at him, before looking around again. “Where do you hide your vinyls?”

R hesitated for a second as he took off his shoes, appreciating it when Julie copied him.

“M-my room. Most of m-m-my stuff i-is in there.” He gestured to the short hallway that lead to the two bedrooms and the small bathroom. “D-d’you want t-t-to see?”

“Totally. I wanna see how much of a record nerd you really are.” She grinned, following him as he started towards his room. Where he had never had any friends enter before, let alone a girl. Was this weird? Was he making it weird? Who knows. Julie didn’t seem uncomfortable or as nervous as he felt, or she could just be hiding it very well. Surely if she was uncomfortable she’d say, right?

R needed to stop overthinking this.

He opened the door to his room and crossed the (now thankfully) clear floor to open the heavy blackout curtains over the window, allowing light from outside to stream in. He sensed rather than saw or heard Julie stepping in and looking around and he turned, praying that he hadn’t left anything incriminating laying around. Not that he actually owned anything incriminating, but it was always a worry.

“… Wow. When I said you were a hoarder I was sort-of joking, but this is impressive.” Julie glanced over the random objects placed (strategically- R took pride in his presentation of random objects.) on the dresser, the shelves and the walls. His personal vinyl collection was on the higher shelves and Julie stood on her tip-toes to look at it before getting distracted by a photo that sat on the corner of one of the shelves, next to a small ring box and an old notepad. She raised her hands to pick it up, pausing and glancing at R to check that it was okay, before lifting it off the shelf and looking at it properly.

R sat down on the bed, watching Julie as she examined the photo.

“Are these your parents?” She asked quietly, turning to face him.

“Y-yeah. Wh-wh-when I was f-four.” He replied, having seen the photo enough times to be able to imagine it perfectly in his head.

It had been taken on a ridiculously hot, sunny day when R, his parents, Marcus and his then-wife had visited an air show several hours away. The photo was of R and his parents, Marcus being behind the camera. His parents were standing side-by-side, his dad’s arm around his mom’s waist and both of her arms occupied with holding R, who was wearing sunglasses far too big from his face and a huge smile.

“Oh my god, you were so cute!” She made a noise somewhere between a laugh and an ‘aww’ing sound and he turned bright red, hiding his face behind his hands. “You’re so small, it’s weird to think you’re like… what, 6’2”, 6’3”?” He nodded, trying to stop hiding his face. “You should smile more often. It suits you.”

Julie’s voice had gone soft and R risked a glance at her- she carefully placed the photo back where it had been before and began rifling through the records lining the shelf.

“C-car accident.”

Julie froze and R mentally punched himself. He hadn’t meant to say that out loud- he hadn’t even meant to think it.

“Um. S-s-sorry. Don’t kn-know why I said th-th-that,” He let out a nervous laugh and rubbed the back of his head, staring at his lap and wishing to disappear through the floor.

“It’s okay… I’m sorry you lost them.” She replied, pulling out a record and carefully placing it into the player, setting it to play before going to sit by R. There was a few inches between them which he was both grateful and almost disappointed about.

In order to ignore the thoughts creeping around his mind, he shrugged, miming hurt when she gave him a light whack on the arm for it.

“A f-f-few weeks after th-the air sh-show. Dr-drunk driver.” He’d never felt compelled to tell anyone about the accident before- or about his parents, or anything to do with himself.

“Me too. My mom was a nurse- her shift finished at 3AM and some asshole didn’t see her crossing the parking lot. I think it was classified as a hit and run but… cars.” She smiled sadly, watching the record player as it spun the black disk inside.

R struggled to think of something to say for several seconds before he heard the front door open and slam shut, followed by a shout of “I’m back, kiddo!” then a muffled crash and cursing.

“Th-that’d be M-Marcus.” R explained dryly, standing up. “I’m… I’m s-s-sorry too. About th-the crash.”

Julie just smiled at him in reply and stood, following him to the living room where Marcus had picked up the coat stand he’d knocked over and was trying to balance it upright again.

“H-hey.” R greeted him, shoving his hands in his pockets so he’d stop fidgeting.

“Hey yourself. I got groceries, what d’you want for- oh, hello.” Marcus replied, straightening up and spotting Julie. It took him a moment to connect the dots before he grinned and walked forward, putting out a hand for her to shake. “You must be Julie!”

Julie smiled back and shook his hand, glancing down for a moment. “Marcus, yeah? It’s nice to meet you.” She paused for a moment as they released eachother’s hands. “I like your slippers.”

R groaned as his uncle laughed and glanced at him.

“I like her. I told you they’re too amazing to hide.” Good to know his own uncle was out to embarrass him in front of his friends. Or friend.

“Y-you’re e-e-embarrassing.” R mumbled, glaring half-heartedly at him. Julie laughed and he smiled at her.

“I like to think I’m the cool uncle, actually.” Marcus grinned at the both of them before picking up the bag of groceries he’d put down and moving to the kitchen. “D’you want food? I’ve got some paperwork to do but I can make a quick something.”

Julie opened her mouth to reply but was interrupted by her phone ringing. She glanced at the screen and rolled her eyes, before excusing herself and walking to the hallway for privacy. R heard the words, “Hey dad,” before her voice faded.

“I’m gonna guess that’s a no.” Marcus commented quietly, beginning to unpack the food.

R nodded, leaning against the counter.

“Her d-d-dad’s pretty s-strict.” He replied, glancing over to where she’d gone. Her muffled voice rose in volume for a moment, possibly in anger, before she quieted again.

“I like her so far. She seems like a good kid.” His uncle commented and R smiled, nodding.

“Sh-she is.” At that moment Julie entered the room again, sliding her phone into her pocket and looking annoyed.

“I’m really sorry but I’ve gotta go. My dad gets all weird when I don’t tell him my plans like, three days in advance and apparently he got the evening off without telling me so…” She shrugged, looking a little forlorn and fed up. R was disappointed but not particularly surprised- Sergeant Grigio seemed like the kind of man who liked knowing where his teenage daughter was 24/7. Plus, R didn’t exactly live in the nice part of town.

“I-it’s okay. Some other t-t-time.” He replied, standing to see her out. “I-is Daniel coming?”

“Yeah, he’s outside now. Probably didn’t get far after he dropped us off.” She smiled, but there was a sad edge to it. “Some other time.”

R walked her down the stairs and saw her into Daniel’s car, waving as they drove off. He jogged back up to their flat and immediately went to put the record away before flopping down on the sofa opposite Marcus.

“Is she okay?” Marcus asked after a few moments, placing the folder he was holding down on the table. There was a few moments of silence before R replied.

“I d-don’t know.” He answered honestly.

Julie was… strange to talk to. Not strange like R was, how he stuttered and stumbled over every other word, or strange like Nora, who jumped from subject to subject every other second and seemed to have more energy than everyone else in the room. Julie seemed to be made up of different fronts- at school she was seen as being nice, but a bit aloof and she was rarely seen with anyone but Nora and Perry. Then when she was around her dad she seemed to put on a bright, happy front, but never hesitating to even tell him off if she needed.

Then there was who R saw outside of school and home- her layers of sadness, melancholy and grief she hadn’t seemed to get over yet. Granted, he knew as well as anyone- better, even- how hard it was to lose a parent you were close to and how long it takes to accept they were gone, but it didn’t seem like Julie had had anyone to properly help her through it.

R hoped she was okay.

Chapter Text

R wasn’t in school.

It had been around a week and a half since Julie had visited his flat and they’d seen eachother almost every day- minus the weekend, as usual. But it was a Thursday, which meant R had music and history which she knew were two of his favourite classes.

Okay, realising that she knew her friend’s class schedule was a bit weird. Whatever.

Thinking back, Julie couldn’t remember a day when R hadn’t been at school. For someone who got harassed by assholes nearly every day he had the best attendance out of anyone she knew, other than herself. Perry bunked off more than she thought was okay and Nora was known to throw the occasional fake-sickness to get out of her least favourite lessons.

R never did though, and she was worried. She’d texted him after first break and he hadn’t replied, which was weird in of itself. She waited til lunch to find an empty classroom and brought his number up on her phone, dialling and leaning against a desk as it rang. And rang. And rang. The voicemail greeting came up and she hesitated a minute before leaving a message.

“Hey, R. Uh, sorry for calling randomly, you’re probably fine. I’m sure you’re fine. It’s just, I realised you weren’t in school today and I guess I’m kinda worried? I can’t remember if you’ve ever missed it before, so… yeah. Call me. Or text, I’m not fussed. Just let me know you’re okay, okay? Okay, bye.” She hung up and toyed with her phone for a moment, hoping that a message would suddenly come through and put her worries to rest. But nothing came.

The rest of the day went fairly smoothly, minus the quiet nagging voice in her head. She always overthought things, that was what her mom said. Everything was fine until she overthought it. Mom would be sighing and ruffling her hair right now, telling her to stop obsessing. It never worked, even when her mom was alive.

“Hey babe.” Julie jumped, startled out of her thoughts as Perry sat next to her and put an arm around her shoulders. She was in the on the bench in the parking lot- when did that happen? She probably wandered out on autopilot.

“Hey.” Julie replied, glancing at her phone and seeing no notifications. She looked back up, waiting for Daniel’s car to round the corner.

“So I was thinking, Berg’s having a party tonight and we haven’t hung out in a while. Wanna come?” His arm slid down to around her waist and she fought the urge to shift away.

“I dunno. I’m not feeling too great, I might just go home.” She knew worrying this much about R missing one day of school wasn’t exactly normal, but something just didn’t seem right.

“Aw, come on babe. It’ll be fun.” Perry leaned in closer with a grin. “Berg found the keys to his dad’s drinks cabinet. It’ll be just like that party we had at yours a few months back.” He clearly had better memories than she did- someone, probably Nora, had gotten into their drinks cabinet and Perry and his friends decided to have a drinking contest. They were all lightweights and it took Julie an entire day to clean up the room they’d practically trashed. She still hadn’t forgiven them for the wine-stained rug she’d had to throw out.

“I’m good, thanks. Say hi to Berg for me.” Julie stood as Daniel’s car came into sight, feeling way more relieved than she should at getting away from her boyfriend.

“Ugh, fine.” Perry groaned as he stood up, putting his arm around her waist again and going to kiss her. She moved her head so his lips landed on her cheek instead, smiling at him as he pulled back. “See you tomorrow.” It was probably her imagination that he sounded a bit off- maybe suspicious? She watched him walk away before getting into Daniel’s car.

“Hey. Going home?” He asked as they pulled out onto the road.

Julie took a moment to make her decision before replying.

“Actually- can you take me to R’s flat? He wasn’t at school today. I just wanna make sure he’s okay.” It wasn’t weird, was it? She had her reasons to be worried, she wasn’t just turning up on her friend’s doorstep out of the blue for no reason.

Oh god, she was weird.

“Sure.” Daniel replied. “Julie, can I ask- what’s his actual name? R’s kind of a weird nickname.”

Julie took a second to think before she suddenly realised.

“I- I’m not sure. As long as I’ve known him he’s always been R. I didn’t even think to ask if he didn’t like it.”  He raised a good point- Julie had joined R’s class halfway through their first semester at high school and everyone had already been calling him ‘R’. She’d never thought to ask for his full name.

“Huh. Well I’m sure he would’ve said something to you if he didn’t like it.” Daniel replied comfortingly.

Would he?

The R she knew from years back was almost painfully shy, hiding away from everyone else at school and never speaking. He didn’t have any friends in school to stand up for him or even sit with him, and he’d always disappear when not in lesson. Would he tell her if he didn’t like something she did?

“I’m gonna leave it up to you to tell your dad where you are again.” Daniel mentioned after a few minutes of silence. “I think he has mixed feelings about your friend. You should probably do something to win him over.”

Julie gave a small laugh, shaking her head.

“I don’t know why I’d bother. He’s not exactly around much.” A few more minutes passed in silence as they drove closer to R’s flat. It might have been Julie’s imagination but the sky seemed to darken, light grey clouds gathering closer together and drawing the cold in with them.

“You know the drill, give me a text when you want picking up.” Daniel parked up outside the apartment complex and gave her a look over his shoulder. “No funny business.”

Julie snorted, opening the car door.

“I’m just gonna check on him, see if he’s okay. But…” She hesitated. “If I do stay, I’ll text you. Okay?”

Daniel saluted jokingly, a stern expression on his face.

“Yes, madam.” He replied, waiting for her to get out of the car before locking it from the inside.

Julie entered the building a little nervously- it was the second time she’d been there, the first time without R. She headed to the elevator and pressed the ‘up’ button, waiting a few seconds until the doors opened- to reveal a couple, pressed up against the wall and aggressively making out.

So that was why R warned her against using the elevator the last time she was there.

The couple paid her no attention and continued their actions, and she quickly decided to use the stairs instead. No wonder R was so thin, if he had to go up and down them every day. By the time she’d reached the top floor she was out of breath, giving it several moments before she straightened and knocked on the door.

“R?” She called out, feeling a bit silly about loudly calling his name through a door, but she hoped the neighbours wouldn’t mind. “Are you in there?” Nothing.

Julie pulled out her phone to try texting him again- maybe he’d turned his phone back on.

“Julie?”

She jumped, almost dropping her phone as she turned around.

Marcus stood by the stairwell, looking a bit red after climbing the several flights of stairs and carrying what looked like a bag from a pharmacy.

“Marcus! Have you seen R? Is he okay? He wasn’t at school today and I was kinda worried.” She blurted out, waving her phone in his direction.

Marcus didn’t reply for several seconds, staring at her as if he was trying to decide what to say. She fidgeted slightly, not a fan of being scrutinised.

“You should come in, I’ll explain.” He said after a moment, walking towards her and opening the door to let her in.

The flat was pitch black, heavy curtains pulled over the windows to block out the light from outside. It felt different to when she was last there- the formerly welcoming rooms seemed almost swallowing in the darkness. Marcus turned the light on, putting it on one of the lowest settings before entering the apartment properly. He took off his shoes and gestured to the sofa.

“You can sit down, I’ll be back in a minute.” He said quietly, hanging his jacket up before going to R’s room and quietly opening the door and entering, leaving Julie in the front room. She decided against sitting down and instead stood by the sofa, fidgeting with her phone. It was a few minutes before Marcus emerged from R’s room and approached her.

“Is he okay?” Julie asked quietly, not wanting to break the quiet in the apartment.

Marcus took a few moments before he spoke.

“He gets headaches. Really bad ones, more like migraines really. When they happen he’s usually out of it for a day or too, the best thing to do is wait them out.” He paused for a second, as if unsure if he should continue. “Did he tell you anything about what happened?”

“What happened?” Julie repeated, having not idea what he meant.

“Oh. Okay.” There was a moment of silence. “He said you can go in if you like, but he doesn’t want to pressure you. He doesn’t feel great when this happens.”

Julie nodded, shoving her phone in her pocket. She just wanted to see if he was okay.

“Okay,” Marcus continued, gesturing down the hall. “Don’t turn the light on and if you can, speak quietly. He… might be kinda embarrassed about being sick.”

“He doesn’t need to be.” Julie replied calmly, although inside she was nervous. Her mom got headaches sometimes but she was never out of commission for more than a day. After Marcus nodded she turned and started towards R’s room, only hesitating for a moment before putting a hand on the doorknob. “R? It’s Julie, I’m gonna come in.” She called quietly, opening the door and entering before shutting it swiftly behind her.

It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the dark and she blinked a few times before feeling confident enough to move without bumping into anything.

“Hi.” Came a whisper from the bed and she looked towards it. R was sitting on the bed, surrounded by a rumpled duvet and twisting what looked like a pill bottle in his hands weakly. His eyes were squinted even in the low light and lines of pain were present on his face as he trembled minutely.

“Oh, R,” Julie whispered, moving forward to stand by the bed. She automatically raised her hand and pressed it to his forehead, feeling he was a little warm. He (likely instinctively) leaned into her colder hand, shivering slightly. “How- how do you feel?”

“N-not great.” He replied, seemingly getting frustrated at his lack of success with the bottle in his hands. She wordlessly took it and twisted it open, taking a second to glance at the prescription label that read in large letters, ‘DO NOT TAKE MORE THAN 2 PILLS IN 24 HOURS’ before handing it back.

“Those look pretty hardcore…” She commented, sitting on the edge of the bed. Her friend shrugged, retrieving a water bottle from the folds of the duvet before swallowing the pills. “I guess this is why you weren’t at school today.”

R snorted quietly, then winced and pressed a hand to his face. Julie immediately regretted her comment and placed her hand on the side of his face, hoping the chill from the outside would last a little longer.

“I can’t g-g-g-go out wh-when this h-h-happens. H-hurts too m-m-much.” He listed to the side slightly and Julie shifted back so they were leaning against eachother. R closed his eyes, tilting his head forward a little.

“Is there anything I can do?” Julie replied, feeling helpless. She felt the boy shrug and decided to not tease him on it this time.

“Y-you can g-g-go if y-you want.” He whispered, straightening up slightly. “I-I’m not m-m-much fun n-now.” She felt her heart break slightly and gently squeezed his shoulder.

“I’ll go if you want me to, but you’re my friend. If you want me to keep you company while your head explodes, I will.” She saw the corner of R’s mouth twitch up in a weak smile and moved her hand to his opposite shoulder as he looked in danger of leaning too far over. “Besides, your company is preferable to Per’s right now.”

“O-oh?” He asked, not looking any more awake but still concerned.

“Is it okay for me to talk? Doesn’t it hurt you?” She asked, suddenly realising how much his head must hurt. He shrugged (again? Really?) before replying.

“N-no more th-th-than silence d-does.”

“Hm. If you’re sure. Tell me to shut up  if you need though.” He twitched a smile again before she continued, feeling a little more confident. It wasn’t how she’d imagined the evening- spending it in her friend’s bedroom with him possibly falling asleep on her while she complained about her boyfriend- but it was definitely preferable to said boyfriend’s company.

“He wanted to go to another party. Y’know, the kind with red cups and breaking into liquor cabinets?” R hummed a confirmation and she continued. “I really wasn’t feeling it. I’m not really a party person. Besides, I was kinda worried about you when you didn’t answer your phone.”

“S-sorry,” He spoke up, sounding a little less awake than earlier. His medication was probably taking affect. “Light h-hurts.”

“It’s okay. I get it now.” She squeezed his shoulder again and felt him lean a little heavier into her side. She continued to recount stories about random things that came to her- weird stories about Nora, a few more complaints about Perry. Some funny stories about her mom who reminded her a little of Marcus. As R began to tip too far to one side she made a quick decision, scooting back so her back met the wall and placing a pillow in her lap before guiding R’s head to rest on it. They sat in silence for a few minutes and her gaze began to drift around the room as her fingers drifted into R’s hair almost by themselves- her mom would always comfort her by playing with her hair. After a few moments her fingertips found some sort of ridge hidden by his hair and she ran her fingers along it before speaking up.

“R? What’s this?” She asked quietly, not wanting to wake him up in case he’d fallen asleep.

“Scar. B-brain surgery.” He mumbled in reply from where his face was slightly smushed into the pillow.

“From what?” She tried to keep the shock out of her voice, only half succeeding.

“Car accident.” R sounded like he was on the verge of sleep and she stopped herself from replying, instead finding her eyes landing on the image of little R and his parents.

“Oh, R…” She whispered to herself, hand freezing in his hair. ‘You were in the car…’

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“ Got a wife and kids in Baltimore, Jack
I went out for a ride and I never went back,”

The little boy in the back of the car grinned as his mom started singing one of her favourite songs, tapping the steering wheel as they drove along the highway. He waited until the chorus to join in, not remembering the first verse until it passed.

“Everybody's got a hungry heart
Everybody's got a hungry heart
Lay down your money and you play your part
Everybody's got a hungry heart,”

“Did you have a good day buddy?” His dad twisted round in his seat to look back at him. The boy nodded happily, holding up the snowglobe his parents bought him at the airshow.

“Yeah! It was so cool!” He waved the snowglobe around before putting it gently in his lap, careful not to break it. His mom laughed, the sound cutting above the music and making him laugh in return.

“Glad to hear it. We’re seeing Uncle Marcus tomorrow, won’t that be fun?” He nodded, looking down intently as the glitter in the snowglobe settled. Uncle Marcus hadn’t been very happy recently- mom said that his wife had left and it made Uncle Marcus sad. The boy didn’t like that- Uncle Marcus was the best when he was happy, he always bought him small presents and played airplanes with him when his parents weren’t around.

“The rain really isn’t letting up, is it?” His dad said quietly from the front seat, talking to his mom. The boy tuned out a little- listening to grown-ups talking about the weather was boring. They were always talking about it.

“It’s okay, we’ll be home soon. Then food and bed, you hear me young man?” The boy looked up to reply but his eyes were caught by the two bright white lights right in front of the car. “What the-“

There was a loud, loud crash and the boy felt the whole car suddenly jerk backwards. His seatbelt strained and one of the loops on his childseat snapped, sending him jerking forward and hitting his head on the hard back of the seat in front of him. The car spun around on the wet road, veering off of the highway and onto the grassy slope beside it. It must have hit something as the car flipped over twice before crashing to a stop at the bottom of the slope.

There was total silence.

The boy blinked weakly- he’d hit his head several times on the way down and there was something warm and wet tricking down his forehead and through his hair. His shoulder hurt and he couldn’t move his left arm, and his legs were still held in the childseat although the chest strap had come free.

“M-mommy?” He whispered, reaching forward with his working arm and trying to touch the arm he could see resting in the gap between the two front seats. There was no reply. “D-daddy?” He started to cry, straining his arm but crying out from pain as he jostled his ribs which hurt more than he’d ever hurt before. Even when he fell down the stairs once and had to have an ice pack on his head for ages. “Mom! Wake up!”

It felt like forever before his semi-conscious brain registered the distant sound of sirens, and even longer before he began hearing shouted voices. He heard someone outside saying something about closing his eyes before the window beside him shattered and someone was looking at him.

“Oh- oh god, Sam, there’s a kid in here.” The person reached in and gently touched his arm, making him whimper. “Hey, hey kiddo. My name’s Jen, I’m a firefighter. Can you tell me your name?”

He tried to reply but couldn’t get anything out. He felt weak and shaky, and he wanted his parents.

“Okay, that’s okay. What we’re gonna do is we’re gonna open the car up and get you out, then we’re taking you to hospital. Okay?” The lady sounded nice but he couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore. Everything went black.

~*~*~*~*~

When the boy opened his eyes again he was in a bright white room and his Uncle Marcus was sitting by his bed, eyes rubbed raw and looking like he was going to cry.

“M-M-M-M-“ The boy tried to talk but couldn’t get the words out. Uncle Marcus jumped in his seat as if the boy had snuck up behind him to scare him.

“H-Hey kiddo,” He sounded sad, like he’d been crying a lot. “How’re you feeling?”

“Wh-wh-w-“ He tried, tears gathering in his eyes when he started to realise that something was wrong. His head hurt and his arm hurt and why couldn’t he talk properly?

“It’s okay, you don’t have to talk.” Uncle Marcus did that weird swallow thing where it looked like he was going to choke. “Kiddo… I don’t. I don’t know how to tell you this.”

No.

“You- you guys were in a car accident. Your mom and dad- they- they-“ Uncle Marcus took a few breaths and wiped his eyes before continuing. “They didn’t make it. I’m sorry, buddy.”

They didn’t make it. They didn’t make it.

The boy wanted to ask what he meant but he knew. It was like when his grandma had gotten really sick and had to go into hospital- she’d had a lot of ‘treatment’ but the doctors had told his parents she didn’t make it and he never saw her again.

His parents were gone.

His eyes welled up with tears that began trickling down his face as his aching chest jerked with sobs.

“Th-th-th-“ He tried, crying harder when the words just wouldn’t come.

Uncle Marcus stood up and sat gingerly on the bed, resting a hand on his shoulder. The boy really, really wanted a hug but he knew it would only hurt more. They sat in silence until a doctor came in to talk to Uncle Marcus about more tests and the police coming to talk to him. The boy didn’t care.

~*~*~*~*~

A week later he had his first seizure. It happened when he was eating the tasteless jello the hospital gave him and it was scary. He felt dizzy and sick and dropped his spoon, startling Uncle Marcus who had only left the hospital a few times to get more clothes for them both and to shower.

“Kiddo?” The word had only just left his uncle’s mouth when his body froze up and started to seize. He didn’t remember any of it but apparently Uncle Marcus had run into the corridor and shouted until someone had come. The doctor had immediately sent him for more brain scans and found bleeding in his brain that hadn’t been on his earlier scans. He was rushed to surgery and woke up the next day to arguing.

“I don’t care if I’m not related to him, I’m adopting him! He’s my best friend’s son and he has no-one else-“

“I understand your feelings, sir, but you have to understand that looking after a disabled child is different to looking after a normal one.” A bored, irritating voice reached the boy through the slightly open door and he closed his eyes, wanting to go back to sleep. Maybe for forever.

“Normal- how dare you?! Disabled or not, my nephew isn’t ‘abnormal’. Get me the adoption papers and then go screw yourself.” Uncle Marcus hissed before entering the room before. The boy didn’t think he’d ever heard him get so mad before.

“You awake, buddy?” Uncle Marcus asked quietly, going to rest a hand on his head but then avoiding the bandages and gently touching his shoulder instead. The boy opened his eyes slightly, wincing at the light coming through the blinds and looking up at him.

“Y-y-you’re-“ It was hard to talk still. The doctor said he might get better at it again but they didn’t know for sure. He was damaged. “Ad-ad-ad-adopt-t-t-” Why was it so hard?!

“Of course I am. I’m not gonna leave you in this sucky place, am I?” Uncle Marcus smiled at him, but it was a bit of a sad smile. “You’re my family, kiddo. And family sticks together. Even when we lose people we love.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Julie had lost track of how long she’d been sitting on R’s bed with her friend’s head in her lap, fingers threaded through his hair. Her phone buzzed from where it sat on the bed next to her leg and she snatched it up, careful not to disturb the pillow on her legs.

Perry: Where are u?

She frowned, wondering if she should admit to where she was.

Me: Studying. Why?

Perry: Im at ur house, why aren’t u here

Ah. Julie hadn’t thought this far ahead.

Me: I’m not studying at home.

The reply came through almost instantly and she winced before opening it.

Perry: Are u at that freaks house again????

Me: So what if I am?

Perry: Jules I TOLD YOU i dont like u going there! What if he attacks u??

Julie rolled her eyes and fought the urge to groan.

Me: He’s not going to attack me you ass! He’s sick. I was worried. He never misses school.

Perry: Y are u so interested in him?? Hes so weird. I want u t come home.

Anger rose in Julie chest and she took her hand from R’s hair to stop herself from throwing her phone.

Me: ??? No. He’s my friend and doesn’t try to frigging CONTROL ME. Go away.

Perry: SCREW HIM I’M YOUR BOYFRIEND!!

Julie hesitated for a second before making her decision.

Me: Not anymore.

She quickly turned her phone off and shoved it under a pillow to stop her from chucking it around. She’d done it. She broke up with Perry.

Sort of. Over text. But she’d tell him to his face tomorrow when they were at school.

Julie had had enough. Enough of the constant complaining about her friendships, enough of Perry telling her what to do and where to go and what she should wear, for Christ’s sake. She felt trapped, and it had taken her so long to realise she was only in this relationship for a desperate attempt at feeling normal in a world where she felt so apart from everyone else. No-one understood, no-one had made an effort to.

Until R.

The strange quiet boy knew what she went through when her mom died. He knew that sometimes you needed to be around someone but not talk or do anything. He knew that losing someone was like losing a part of yourself that you could never get back and only attempt to replace.

Her train of thought was broken by a soft knock at the door and she looked up as Marcus poked his head around the door. His eyes went to R, asleep in Julie’s lap and he smiled, opening the door a little wider.

“Thought you might want some food.” He said quietly, approaching the bed and setting a plate of sandwiches next to her.

Julie suddenly felt strangely overwhelmed. She stared at the plate of sandwiches that she hadn’t made, realising that someone else had made thinking about what she might want and need and it was all too much.

“Woah- are you okay?” Marcus asked as tears began to track down her cheeks. He moved the plate and sat next to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. She nodded, using the back of her hand to wipe her cheeks as she sniffed.

“Y-yeah. I’m fine.” She whispered, giving him a shaky smile. There was a moment of silence before she quietly blurted out, “I broke up with Perry.”

“Perry- that asshole?” Marcus replied, startling a laugh out of her. She froze immediately after, worried about waking R, but he didn’t stir.

“Yeah. That asshole.” Julie replied, hand finding R’s hair again. She felt Marcus’s eyes follow her hand but he didn’t mention it, choosing to squeeze her shoulder instead. She was grateful for that.

“I hate to assume but isn’t that good? I mean… if you guys both call him an asshole, he can’t be a good guy.” He had a point.

“He didn’t used to be. But recently… I don’t know. I’ve had enough. I want to be free.” She whispered, looking down at R. His face twitched in his sleep before smoothing out again and she smiled weakly. “I feel trapped. If Perry isn’t trying to control me then my dad is tracking my whereabouts, or Nora is wanting to hang out and I- I don’t-“ She let out a shuddering breath, trying to not start crying again. The worry about R plus the revelation of his accident and the stress of the stupid text conversation with her now-ex-boyfriend had all build up and was trying to come out.

“I get you. You want to be alone, but you don’t.” It didn’t quite make sense but at the same time it did- that seemed to be a theme with Marcus (and Nora, she realised). “When R told me you talked to him, I was kinda worried. From what I’ve heard you’re one of the popular girls and I didn’t want him to be lured into some kinda prank or trap. You’ve seen Carrie, right? But after meeting you a few times, I think you’re a good kid. If you ever want to be alone but not alone, you’re always welcome here.”

Julie lifted her head and smiled at Marcus, trying to convey her thanks without words because if she opened her mouth she might start crying again. He seemed to understand and put his arm around her, pulling her in for a one-armed hug. Although she wasn’t related to anyone in the room, Julie hadn’t felt more of a part of a family in years.

Chapter Text

It was just passing 11PM when Julie felt brave enough to turn her phone on and hurriedly put it on silent as messages, missed calls and voicemails lit up the screen. R was still asleep on her and hadn’t moved since Marcus had come in (before leaving soon after to finish some paperwork) and she grimaced at the sheer number of notifications- 37 missed calls and 7 voicemails (and an amazing number of increasingly incoherent texts) from Perry, a few calls and texts from Nora and one from her dad.

Oops.

She bit her lip as she tried to think of a reply, deciding to ignore her ex for now and shooting off a very short explanatory text to Nora before typing out a reply to her dad. Apparently Perry had texted him with some sort of half-legible nonsense about her going to a zombie’s house and he was a bit confused.

Me: Hey dad. Ignore Perry, I think he’s drunk. I’m at R’s house bc he wasn’t feeling well and we’re watching movies.

Probably best to leave the ‘he’s been asleep on my lap for about seven hours now’ part for later. Much later. Or never, that would work out just fine. It took a few minutes for her dad to reply.

Dad: Get Daniel to pick you up, I don’t want you home too late.

A few seconds later, another text came through.

Dad: Tell your friend I hope he is okay.

Wow. That was a surprise. Although she wouldn’t put it past her father to give his phone to another member of staff and tell them to write something supportive, that was more likely. She didn’t really want to leave, it was sort of nice sitting in the dark and quiet with someone even if they were unconscious. Okay, that sounded way creepier than she meant it to.

Julie sighed, typing out a reply and sending a message to Daniel before putting her phone down on the bed and rubbing her eyes. She probably should get home, it was still a school day tomorrow and she didn’t have any kind of change of clothes.

Daniel replied a few minutes later with only mild complaining about the time and she was faced with the problem of getting her friend off of her lap without disturbing him. She settled with slowly shifting out from under the pillow on her lap and gently lowering it until it rested on the bed before she stood and exited the room.

The light from the living room nearly blinded her and she blinked a few times, holding a hand over her eyes until the bright spots cleared.

“You okay?” Marcus asked from where he sat on the sofa, surrounded by papers.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Dad texted so I have to go home, and it’s a school day tomorrow so.” She left the sentence unfinished and picked up her bag, slipping her shoes on. “I, uh, I just wanted to say thanks for letting me in. I was kinda freaking out during school and it must’ve been weird finding me on your doorstep.”

Marcus smiled at her, shaking his head. “You’re welcome to turn up on our doorstep any time you like. You want me to walk you down?” He gestured to the door with a pen but Julie shook her head.

“I’ll be fine, Daniel’s outside. Just don’t take the elevator, right?” She laughed quietly as Marcus made a face, obviously having encountered the exhibitionistic couple in the elevator before. “I’ll see you later. Tell him to text me when he’s feeling better.”

Marcus bade her goodbye and Julie exited the apartment, making her way down the many sets of stairs as she thought about what she was going to do next. Was she wrong to dump Perry? On some level she felt that on some level she’d been clinging to the relationship as a way to make her feel normal, just like a highschooler with no worries or problems. But she knew she wasn’t normal. And not in a preppy, irritating ‘I’m not like other girls’ fashion, she didn’t have a problem with the way other people are (unless they’re assholes) but she just felt different. Like she didn’t fit in anywhere.

The ride home was quiet. She didn’t really feel like talking much and instead rested her chin on her hand and stared out of the window as the city went by in a haze of streetlamps. Daniel asked a few questions, mostly asking after R, but he soon caught on that she didn’t feel like talking and let her be. She felt a little bad about that but couldn’t bring herself to do anything about it.

When they reached Julie’s home she muttered a goodbye before exiting the car and approaching the house, keys in hand.

“Jules.”

“Jesus Christ-“ Julie nearly jumped out of her skin and spun around to see Perry sitting by a bush near the front of the house. “You scared the hell outta me Perry. What’re you doing here?”

Perry gave a weird sounding laugh and heaved himself upright, staggering slightly and putting a hand on one of the pillars in front of the house for support.

“You- you dump me over the goddamn phone and ask me what I’m doing here?” He slurred, waving a hand vaguely in her direction.

“Perry- are you drunk?” She asked incredulously, trying to put the key into the lock on the door while still facing him.

“No. Maybe. Berg’s dad has a way better drinks cabinet than yours does.” He sounded like he was trying to make her jealous, which was just… strange.

“Congrats to Berg then. Go home, Perry. I’ll talk to you tomorrow when you’re sober.” She turned to twist the key in the lock and nearly jumped out of her skin again when a hand thudded on the door next to her head.

“No! We’re gonna talk now and you’re gonna stop being friends with that freak,” Julie felt the patience draining from her body. “And we’re gonna go to school and be normal again. Why’ve you been so weird lately?” He whined, placing a hand on her cheek. She batted his arm away and his face darkened dangerously.

“I’ve always been weird, Perry. I’ve just been good at hiding it.” Her voice had gone cold and she just wanted him to go away. “I’m not getting back together with you. We shouldn’t have been together in the first place, we’re not right for eachother. You’re not right for me.”

Perry’s hand found her arm and he gripped her hard, probably near enough leaving a bruise.

“Shut up! It’s that freak’s fault isn’t it, he’s changed you!”

Julie snapped. She grabbed his shoulders and pushed him against the door hard, accidentally setting off a security alarm. Her dad was not going to be happy.

“Listen to me, Perry Kelvin. The only reason I went out with you was so I could feel less of a freak myself. I thought that by going out with one of the sports stars it would make me feel normal, make me fit in. I was wrong. You are a nasty, vindictive, child of a man who has picked on a boy who’s suffered more than you could possibly imagine, and you think that’s okay? That it makes you better than him?” She released his arms slowly, watching him as he tremored in front of her. She must have really shaken him.

Good.

“I want you to leave, Perry. Leave this house, leave me alone and leave my friend alone.” He didn’t move for several seconds and she felt the last ounce of patience she had evaporate. “Leave!”

Perry scarpered, falling over his own feet whilst running over the lawn and picking himself up before hurrying down the street.

Julie watched him go before letting herself into the house and shutting off the security alarm. A second later her phone lit up with her dad’s caller ID and she groaned before picking it up, slumping against the front door.

“It’s fine, dad. I set the alarm off by accident.” She pushed herself off of the door and started up the stairs slowly, feeling more exhausted than she had in ages.

“What the hell were you doing to set off the alarm?” Her dad replied, sounding pissed. Maybe a little worried.

“Dad, I really don’t want to talk about it now. I’ll tell you when you’re home, okay?” She was tired. She was so tired.

“… Okay. I’ll be back at the weekend.” There was silence for a few moments. “Are you okay?”

For a few terrifying moments she felt like she was going to burst into tears.

“I’m fine, dad. See you soon. Love you.”

Her dad quietly returned the sentiment and she shoved her phone into her bag, walking past her mom’s study before pausing and walking back a few steps.

Julie had avoided going into her mom’s study for so long after she died. Seeing everything in there brought back so many memories but also reminded her that her mom was gone. She was glad that she’d let R in though. She was glad that she’d let herself back in.

Forgoing going all the way to her own room she instead entered the study, dumping her bag by the door and collapsing face-first onto the couch that sat under the window. She was asleep within minutes.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Julie awoke the next morning to the text notification on her phone. She gracelessly rolled off of the couch onto the floor and checked it with bleary eyes. The message was from R.

R: Thank-you for coming over yesterday. I feel a lot better today but won’t be in school.

She smiled at the phone, rubbing at the crease mark the sofa fabric had left on her cheek and yawning before typing out a reply.

Me: It’s no problem. I can come over tonight if you want? Just to check you’re really feeling better.

R: I’d like that. Maybe we can actually do something instead of me falling asleep on you.

She could just imagine him blushing as he typed that.

Me: I don’t know, that was pretty entertaining. Did you know that you snore?

It took a few minutes for a reply to come through.

R: Marcus says that’s a lie :p

An emoji? He must be feeling better.

Me: You got me. I’m just teasing. See you after school! X

Was the kiss at the end too much? She’d gotten into the habit texting her mom and Nora and it was a surprisingly hard habit to break. Ah well.

Julie went through her morning routine, slowly waking up as she went. Her school equipment was already in her bag so she just showered, changed, picked her bag up and left.

Daniel was as punctual as ever and he smiled as she got into the car.

“You okay?” He asked, noting that she seemed to be in a much better mood than she was the day before.

“Yeah. Sorry if I seemed weird last night, I was just… stressed.” There was silence for a few moments before, for some reason, she blurted out, “I broke up with Perry.”

This got her a slightly confused glance from Daniel. She wasn’t really an open person and honestly didn’t know why she’d felt the need to tell him.

“Well… I can’t say I know the guy very well,” Daniel had given Julie and Perry a few lifts over the last few years but Perry usually ignored him. “But I gotta say, he didn’t seem right for you. Maybe it’s a good thing.”

“Yeah… maybe.” They spent the rest of the short drive not talking and Julie bade him goodbye in the parking lot. A few moments after she entered the building, Nora bound up to her and flung her arms around the blonde girl’s shoulders before pulling back and grabbing her arms.

“Are you okay?! I got a bunch of weird texts from Perry last night and then one very short and not very descriptive text from you and then nothing all night? Do you know how worried I was?!” Nora near-shouted, shaking Julie gently.

“I’m fine, Nora. I just had a bit of a rough night.” Julie replied, putting her hands on top of Nora’s and sliding them off her arms. “I went to R’s last night after he didn’t show up at school. He was sick, so I stayed for a bit.”

Nora didn’t move for a few seconds before she grabbed Julie’s wrist- close to where Perry had grabbed her the night before- and pulled her into the nearest empty classroom.

“Okay, I’ve been ignoring it for a while because of Perry but Jules, we need to talk about him.” Nora said seriously, her face stern.

Julie had no idea what she meant.

“Discuss who?”

~*~*~*~

“You’re sure you’re okay to be left by yourself?” Marcus asked for the third time, hand on the front door handle.

“Yes, I’m s-sure.” R mumbled from where he was essentially buried in a mound of blankets on the sofa. “I’m inca-capacited, not d-dying.”

“Right. Yeah.” His uncle stood there for a few more seconds before leaving and closing the door behind him.

R sank further into his blanket nest, focusing his eyes on the TV displaying some sort of zombie movie. A moment later his phone pinged and he fished it out of his blankets, snorting when he saw the text.

Marcus: Text me if you need anything!! Xxxxxx
Me: You are ridiculous.

Marcus: :))))))))

Dropping his phone back onto the sofa, R wiggled so only his head was above the blankets and closed his eyes, the quiet noise coming from the TV dimming to nothing as he fell asleep.

A few hours later he woke up to a quiet knocking on the front door and he blinked sleepily, trying to figure out why Marcus would be knocking when he heard,

“R? Are you in there?”

Julie.

R’s brain seemed to crash as he began to struggle out of the blanket mound, instead catching both of his feet in the blankets and falling off of the sofa.

“It’s open!” He shouted as he stood, quickly shrugging the rest of the blankets off and standing just as Julie opened the door. She smiled at him and- why did it feel like his heart stopped for a second?

“Hey. You’re looking a lot better.” She commented as she approached him before putting her arms around him and hugging him tightly.

R’s mind went blank for a second and suddenly he was sure he was actually dreaming. Did this usually happen? Half his brain was probably still asleep.

“Y-yeah, I feel it.” He replied, suddenly remembering to lift his arms and hug her back. She felt real enough. After a few moments she dropped her arms and stepped away, R doing the same. He suddenly felt very cold. “How a-a-are you?”

A strange, sad sort of smile came over Julie’s face and she shrugged, sitting down.

“I’m okay. Got even more homework today, which was great. Still don’t know what I’m gonna do about my photography project.” She sat back, stretching her arms over her head. There was a few moments of silence before an idea suddenly struck R and he pointed a finger at her.

“W-wait here” He instructed before quickly moving to his room. It took a moment to remember where he’d left it but he found it soon enough, returning to the living room.

Julie noticed him holding something behind his back and she raised an eyebrow, smiling at him.

“Should I close my eyes?” She teased, although sitting up and trying not to look too eager.

“M-maybe.” R replied, a nervous smile taking over his features. She did so and help out her hands, and he hesitated for a moment before putting the object into them. He could see her expression changing as she tried to guess what it was before she gave up and opened her eyes.

“Your- your polaroid?” Julie exclaimed, turning it over carefully in her hands. She looked up at him with surprise. “But- R, this thing is ancient. I might break it.”

R shrugged, reaching forward and closing her fingers around the camera.

“I d-don’t use it m-m-much. I’d rather y-you have it.” He sat down next to her and nervously twisted his hands together for a minute. “I m-mean, you don’t h-h-have to.”

“I’d love to!” She put the camera down on her lap and turned to him with shining eyes- was she crying? “ R, this… thank-you. This means more than you’d think.” Julie picked up the camera, checking there was film in it before holding it up to face them. At R’s slightly surprised look she explained, “My grandad had a polaroid when I was a kid. We donated most of his stuff to charity. Smile!” She grinned at the camera and R hurriedly tried to do the same, perhaps managing a slightly nervous smile.

Julie took the film after it printed and waved it before putting it on the table.

“Awesome. That’s going on my wall.”

“W-won’t Perry m-m-mind?” R regretted bringing the other boy up as Julie’s face fell.

“I broke up with him last night.” She replied and his heart fell, suddenly feeling like a massive ass.

“I-I’m sorry,” He replied, looking down at his hands.

“It’s fine, it’s fine. I feel like… it was a long time coming.” She set the camera carefully down on her lap and ran her fingers through her hair, unaware of R watching her hands. He’d never really noticed how nice her hair was- had they been this close for this long before? He couldn’t remember.

“If… i-if you wanna talk,” R started, forcing his gaze back down to his hands.

“I’m okay. Really.” Julie smiled at him and he managed a grin back, feeling the atmosphere lift slightly in the room. “Wanna put a movie on? I feel like not doing anything this evening.”

R enthusiastically agreed and gave her the remote and free reign of their TV, busying himself with pulling the blankets back onto the sofa. Julie settled on some generic-sounding action movie before helping him divide the blankets between the two of them, although as they were side by side it mostly just resembled a heap.

A few minutes after the movie started, R felt Julie start to shift around and he shifted to try to give her more room- and nearly jumped out of his skin as she laid her head on his shoulder. Their shoulders were pressed together and that was the limit of their contact, but R suddenly felt his face flush red and his heart begin to beat hard inside his chest. What the hell was this reaction? It was probably just to do with his condition the day before. That must be it.

Chapter Text

One nice thing about the year so far, R decided, was that it seemed to be going by a lot quicker than usual now that he had friends. Where before he’d spend most of his time in the apartment, walking around aimlessly by himself or at the local record shop, he found himself hanging out with Julie (and by extension, Nora) a lot, doing things that didn’t involve solitude.

In the months that passed since Julie had broken up with Perry she had become a lot more outgoing and active. R had mentioned this once when they had gone to the park together and she had gone quiet before hesitantly explaining that when she was with Perry, he hadn’t liked her going out without him and got sulky when she made plans without him.

R really hated the guy.

They had hung out a lot more without the constant threat of an angry bully looming over them too- weekends often consisted of them making plans together, whether it was going out or just hanging out at eachother’s homes.

Nearing the end of the year (and their time in compulsory education, R had realised with fear, panic and relief) they had been given the task of finding work experience.

R had found this easier than expected- he managed to get a place at the local/his favourite record shop as he was relatively friendly with the owners.

Julie had been torn between the ancient photography shop in a backstreet and the shooting range near her home as, she said, “No matter which I get, they both let me to shoot people.”

(R had found this unexpectedly hilarious and had spat his drink over the table whilst laughing, drawing several surprised looks from the students around them who had likely never heard R make a sound before.)

She had then been offered internships at both places which delighted her, but did mean that she had to split her two weeks between each place.

Nora, after much badgering of the hospital staff, managed to get a week of shadowing a receptionist at the local hospital that Julie’s mom had worked at. They remembered Mrs Grigio well and had caved after Julie went in and personally asked.

Whilst R was grateful that his small friend group had all gotten the internships they had wanted, it had meant that within those two weeks it was especially hard to get a hold of either girl. He wracked his brain to think of something for them to do that took no energy- not that many of their hangouts did- and finally came up with something that would act both as a celebration of the two weeks of constant work and just as something nice for the girl who had helped him so much.

And when he started thinking about it, he started realising just how much she had helped him- before they spoke, before the incident in the alleyway, he hated school. He hated the bullies, the workload, the pitying looks he got from the staff and other pupils and how they behaved towards him like he was a child. He kept as perfect attendance up as he could (minus days he had to take off for blinding headaches) because he knew his parents would have wanted him to, but that didn’t make him like it.

It was different now. The bullies were still present and the pitying looks would likely never go away, but he wasn’t alone anymore. He had friends, actual good friends who cared about him and spent a day worrying about him when he wasn’t at school and actually bothering to come to his home to check that he was okay. He would never have imagined that happening before he met Julie.

So, he decided to do something special.

Me: Hey, are you free on Friday evening?

It took several minutes for her to reply, enough to make R start worrying that she was ignoring him (it was unwarranted, but the anxiety still lingered).

Julie :) : Yeah, I might fall asleep tho.

Julie :) : What’re you thinking?

R debated what to say for a moment, worrying his lip between his teeth.

Me: Do you want to come over for the evening/night? I want to show you something.

Did that sound weird?

Julie :) : Ooh I’m excited now!! Still might fall asleep

R grinned, biting one of his thumbnails before typing out a reply.

Me: Tbh me too.

He put his phone down, bringing his legs up onto the sofa and leaning against the arm as he stared into space. He absently noticed that he was still biting his nail and forced himself to lower his arm, fiddling with his jeans instead.

Why was he so nervous? It never usually felt so stressful to text Julie, but his stomach felt weird- almost shaky- and he’d long forced the nail biting habit out of himself apart from when he was really nervous. Thinking about it, the last time he’d felt this shaky was when Julie had first talked to him after the alley incident.

The door suddenly opened and the regular, “I’m home!” call from Marcus signalled his arrival. The man closed and locked the door behind him, setting his bag by the coatstand and entering the front room.

“How was work?” Marcus asked, sitting down heavily in the chair and putting his feet up on the table in front of them.

R wrinkled his nose at the habit, stretching one of his long legs out to shove the other’s off the table.

“W-was okay. Quiet.” Most of R’s work experience consisted of sorting records into different areas of music, and if they were very busy then helping customers. “Y-you?”

“Yeah, pretty much the same. How’s the girlfriend?” He teased, pointing at R’s phone. As if on queue, it buzzed with a new message.

R’s face flamed up and he (gently) kicked Marcus’s leg again.

“N-not my g-g-girlfriend.” He mumbled, sinking down on the sofa petulantly and grabbing his phone while glaring at his uncle.

Julie :) :  :D :D :D :D

R couldn’t resist smiling at the text and narrowed his eyes at Marcus when the older man snorted.

“Uh-huh, not your girlfriend.” He quieted his voice when R looked back down at his phone and muttered, “Not yet.”

R was already lost in thought again.

Julie wasn’t his girlfriend. She was his friend, a very good friend. A friend who came around to check on him and invited him to go out and fell asleep on him when they were watching movies. R didn’t like her that way.

“You know, that is the exact same face that your mom used to pull when I told her she had it bad for your dad before they got together.” Marcus stood up, patting R’s bent knee as he passed his nephew to get to the kitchen. “You’ll figure it out too, kiddo.”

R didn’t like her that way.

“What d’you want for dinner?”

He didn’t.

“R?” Marcus poked his head around the kitchen door to see R sitting on the sofa as still as a statue.

Did he?

“Buddy?”

Suddenly it all made sense. Why he’d gone from being so nervous and hesitant to talk to Julie, to being able to talk for hours and then back to being so nervous all of a sudden. Why he’d missed her so much over the past two weeks, far more than he’d missed Nora, why he loved just being around her so much.

He was in love with his closest friend.

And he’d just invited her over a few days from now.

Shit.

Chapter Text

Hello to all you wonderful people reading this! I unfortunately come with just an apology and no new chapter this time.

The reason for this is that my laptop's hard drive has completely given up the ghost and won't even turn on past the initial turning on screen. Luckily someone I know is an IT tech but I won't be seeing them for a good few weeks so I have no access to my laptop, my files and the good 1/2 a chapter I had written for this series before it died.

I am /majorly gutted/ as I have some free time and was going to hurriedly put a few chapters up but the best I can do is try to rewrite what I've done via phone which unfortunately takes some time (but at least I have WiFi now! I was without it for a month after moving house) so soon!!!! There will be more.

Again I'm sorry for the delay and no actual chapter with this update, as soon as my laptop is revived (hopefully) and my files recovered (unlikely but you never know?) I'll be back to it properly.

Have a great day!

Chapter Text

Sometimes Marcus really worried about his nephew.

Since he’d formally adopted R and had taken him into his life and home full time, he’d say that this worry was pretty warranted most of the time. As a kid, R had been lively, happy, full of energy and a little shy but always so alive. After his parents died, his brain damaged and his young life shaken up more than any of them could have imagined, he’d retreated into his shell. The most interaction he was willing to have with other people was his regular visits to the doctors and therapists assigned to him, as well as a support group for traumatised children that Marcus had enrolled him in as soon as he felt ready. He found it so difficult to talk to the kids at school when he’d returned and it didn’t take long for the schoolyard bullies to find him to be easy prey. There had been a point where Marcus was considering getting a tutor and homeschooling him but the therapists were convinced that that would only stunt his social abilities further.

Over a decade later and Marcus could honestly say he’d never seen R happier. Since the kid had met Julie he was so much more alive than he had been; he talked more, went out more, he actually seemed to be enjoying school now rather than forcing himself to go for the sake of his attendance record. And although admittedly he’d had worries about the girl before he’d met her (he’d seen the film ‘Carrie’ more than once) after getting to know her she seemed genuine and sweet. She seemed like a perfect match for his nephew.

If only both of them could see it.

It was painfully obvious that R was head over heels for the girl, even if he didn’t realise it himself. Marcus had never seen R’s face light up like it did every time he got a text from Julie, never heard such happiness when R recounted what they’d done on their hangouts or the movies they’d been analysing or vinyls, so many vinyls, they’d been listening to. If it was so sweet it was approaching sickening.

Anyway, back to the worrying thing.

“Uh… you okay, kiddo?” Marcus asked as he stepped out of his bedroom to see R dragging the broom out of the closet. The boy usually steered well clear of any chores, claiming that the vacuum gave him headaches or he had homework to do so he could avoid the household jobs.

“Mm-hmm. Cleaning.” Was the only reply he got before R actually left the apartment with the broom. There was a few moments of silence.

“Your son is weird.” Marcus commented, turning to face the framed photo of R’s parents they kept on the mantelpiece on the wall. He smiled. “You guys would be so proud.”

~*~*~

On the roof, R was only slightly panicking. Just a little. Not much. Only because he’d last night suddenly realised he had feelings for the best friend he’d ever had and had literally no idea what to do about it. Because really, what do you do?

After a (luckily very short) anxiety attack the night before, he’d decided to go ahead with his original plan to do something special as a thanks for everything that Julie had done for him. Just possibly a little more awkward.

He busied himself with clearing the floor of the roof of the building from debris, thankful that it was mostly leaves and empty cans from his neighbours instead of needles or anything seedier. The roof itself was quite large so he concentrated on a small patch by the roof door which he knew provided safety from the wind and rain, should the weather report completely fail him and send a storm that night instead of the mild weather he’d been promised.

Once he was done with that he returned to the apartment, putting the broom away before going to his room and digging his wallet out from his bag.

“M-M-Marcus!” R called as he exited his room, rifling through his own wallet in search for any spare change. “G-going to the sh-s-shop, You want anyth-thing?”

“Okay, stop right there.” Came the reply and R halted, turning around to face his uncle. “You’re acting weird. First you actually touch cleaning equipment and now you’re going grocery shopping?” Marcus crossed his arms and looked expectant. “What are you planning?”

R hesitated, half tempted to make a run for the door to escape having to reply.

“Um. Julie’s c-c-coming over t-tonight.” There was a pause as Marcus looked at him as if to say ‘and?’. “And. I. I think I-I like her. A lot.”

A grin that could be described as shit-eating grew on Marcus’s face and R groaned, hiding his face in his hands.

“I see. And when did this revelation take place exactly?” There was a teasing edge to his uncle’s voice and R somehow felt the words ‘I told you so’ were coming soon.

“Mm… last night.” He admitted, still hiding his face.

“So now you’re going to invite her over and confess how you feel?”

“Wh-what? No!” R exclaimed, dropping his hands to his sides. “I-I don’t want t-t-to ruin everything.”

Marcus’s expression changed and he stepped forward, placing a hand on R’s shoulder.

“Ruin it? Buddy, that girl likes you. She really likes you, and you’ve been as good for her as she’s been for you. The only thing that could ruin what’s between you is if you magically transform into an asshole and I’ve known you for long enough that I know that won’t happen.” He squeezed R’s shoulder gently. “You have to tell her. She deserves honesty.”

There was a moment of silence between them before Marcus clapped him on the arm.

“I’ll leave that up to you. So, what are you planning?” He gestured to R’s wallet, still clasped in his hand.

“Um. Y-you’ll laugh.” He mumbled, going to put his shoes on.

“Me? Laugh? I’ve never laughed before in my life.” The answering snort made Marcus smile. “Hang on, take this.” He retrieved his own wallet and passed over a $20 note. “Get something nice.”

R grinned back at him, shoving his money into his pockets and pulling on a hoodie.

“Th-thank-you”.

~*~*~

“But what did he say?!” Nora bugged, bouncing a little where she sat on Julie’s bed. “Come on, details!”

“Again! All he said was he wanted to show me something. It’s probably a new record he found at the shop.” Julie rolled her eyes, trying to apply a straight line of eyeliner while talking.

“Ooh… it could mean something else though.” Nora winked, dodging the bottle of foundation Julie threw at her. It was an impressive shot given that she was still facing the mirror. “Come on girl, that boy has it hard for you. You just can’t see it because Perry’s way of showing interest was pulling your pigtails for the first four years of school.”

Julie groaned, resting her forehead on the desk.

“Nora…”

“He’s a nice guy! And I mean a genuinely nice guy, not one of those ‘nice guys’. I don’t see why you think it’s so impossible that he likes you that way!”

“Because- he can’t!” She blurted, throwing her hands up in the air. “He’s so sweet, there’s no way he could fall for someone like- someone like me.” She sighed, resting her forehead on her palm.

There was a few moments of silence before she heard the bed creak, footsteps then felt arms around her shoulders.

“Julie. I have known you for twelve years, I’m fairly sure I know you better than you know yourself.” She squeezed Julie tight, making the other girl wheeze. “You deserve better than what you’ve been through And somewhere in there, you know it.” She poked Julie’s cheek before releasing her. “Now go get your boy!”

Chapter Text

R nervously bit his thumbnail as he paced in the living room, occasionally staring at his phone where it lay on the table. A few minutes earlier it had buzzed with a text from Julie telling him that she was on her way but it felt like an hour ago, her impending arrival making him even more nervous than he had been earlier. He’d finished setting up her surprise a while earlier and kept darting up to the roof to check on it until Marcus told him to ‘chill the hell out’ and stop freaking the neighbours out by running up and down the corridor.

He nearly jumped out of his skin as the buzzer by the doorbell buzzed and he hurried over to let Julie in, taking a final glance over the front room to make sure everything was presentable. A few minutes later there was a knock on the door before Julie let herself in and immediately went to hug him in greeting.

“Hey! It feels like forever since I last saw you, how’ve you been?” She asked brightly, laying her head on his shoulder and squeezing him tightly before letting him go.

“I-I-I’m good, how’re y-you?” He managed to get out, wheezing quietly as she squeezed him. She was so tiny but her arms were so strong.

“I’m good!” She looked good, and now that R could see her face properly he realised she was wearing makeup, something he’d only seen her do maybe twice in their friendship before. He was suddenly hit by how beautiful she was, equally with and without make-up on and suddenly realised his face felt like it was on fire. He turned away slightly, hoping that Julie wouldn’t realise he was blushing.

“Sooo,” Julie continued, linking her arms and smiling at him. “You said you have something to show me?”

Oh god.

“Y-yeah, it’s… um.” R swallowed nervously, ducking to put his shoes on and also to hide his red face. “You-you gotta f-f-follow me.”

He lead his friend out of the flat and to the roof access stairs, holding the door open for her and wedging the exit open with a brick so it wouldn’t close on them. It had gotten dark around an hour before but the roof was luckily well lit with several lights set into the short walls of the rooftop.

On the large flat surface of the roof, in the shade and protection of the roof access point, he’d set up her surprise. It was several layers of foam mats and blankets on top of the (very carefully) swept roof floor, with a filled picnic basket next to it along with some umbrellas. He’d also set up an improvised windbreak out of two brooms and some plastic sheeting he’d found at the store to hopefully block out the cold wind of the night.

Julie was speechless for a good few seconds, looking between the display and the boy on the roof with her. R had done this for her, he’d set it all up to spend time with her. No-one had done anything just for her in a long time.

“J-Julie,” R whispered from behind her, gently touching her shoulder before pointing up to the sky with his other hand. She looked up and gasped.

This many stories up they seemed to be above a lot of the light pollution that plagued the city at night and the stars were astonishingly visible.

“Oh, R...” She murmured, turning in a circle as she took it all in. When she finally managed to tear her eyes away from the night sky she looked back at the set up, then at R, then back to the set up. A sudden realisation hit her and she swallowed nervously,

“R… is this a date?” She asked, suddenly feeling strangely shy.

R froze, brain seeming to screech to a halt.

“Um. It- I-” He took a deep breath, clenching his hands into fists and trying to not panic. “I-i-it wasn’t, b-but- if you-you-”

There was a few moments of very awkward silence before he managed to gather himself and look up from his shoes.

“Wouldyouwanti-i-i-it to be?” He blurted out, making instant eye contact with Julie by accident.

She stared at him, unblinking.

“I-I mean, I… I like y-y-you, a-a lot, but I-I-I don’t wanna make you unc-uncomfortable,” He paused for a second. “You’re… you’re the b-best friend I’ve ev-ever had. A-a-and I don’t want t-t-o lose that.”

He was so, so sure that he had messed everything up, that their months long friendship was about to come for an end when Julie realised that the sad, stuttering freak of the school had a crush on her and would hate him forever- which was why he was so surprised when instead of a shove or slap or something, he felt Julie’s arms surround his torso in a hug instead. He froze for several seconds as his brain caught up with what was happening and he gently, carefully hugged her back.

“R… I’ve only ever been in one serious relationship and you know how that went. So I’m maybe a little wary of starting something again so soon, but...” Julie bit her lip, swallowing hard as she hid her face against R’s hoodie. “I really like you. A lot. You’re kind, and sweet, and you do stuff like this!” She pulled back and gestured to the roof setup, keeping one hand holding the back of the boy’s hoodie. “I just… I don’t really know how to react. Or know exactly what we are. But I’d like to try… something.” She dared to glance up, seeing R’s shocked face above her. He was so tall. “Maybe- maybe we could start slow?”

R hadn’t dared to breath since Julie hugged him and he felt a little faint. Maybe he’d passed out and hit his head and this was all a concussion-induced hallucination? That would make more sense than Julie actually wanting to go out with him.

“Y-y-yeah, I’m happy wi-with that.” He replied, trying to sound as calm as possible. Whether he succeeded or not, he didn’t know.

Julie smiled up at him and it was like the sun shining. Her hand moved from his back to his hand- his right hand, which he’d broken all those months ago- and she tugged him towards her surprise.

“Well, that’s settled. Now c’mon, I want to see what’s in the basket.” She grinned, practically over-brimming with nervous and excited energy. “It had better not be lotion. If you go all Hannibal Lecter on me then I will run away, and I am very fast.”

R laughed, feeling his heart rate begin to return to normal.

“I-I think it’s B-B-Buffalo Bill, who ha-has the lotion.” He sat down on the blanket pile as Julie did the same, sitting knee-to-knee with him as he leant over to pick up the basket.

From it he pulled out a plastic wrap-covered bowl of fruit salad (it was from a tin but she didn’t need to know that), two beers that Marcus had had to buy for him due to his lack of fake ID (and some juice, if neither of them wanted to drink), a plate of sandwiches and a vintage stereoscopic viewer that he’d found at a thrift store a few weeks back.

“Eh, whichever.” Julie shrugged, looking up at the night sky again. “The sky is so beautiful from up here… in my house you can’t see above the light pollution.” She murmured, watching the barely-there clouds cross the sky. Something cold brushed her hand and she jumped, before realising it was just the bowl of fruit that R held out. “Ooh, look at you. So healthy.”

R grinned in reply, getting his iPod out and setting his full playlist on shuffle.

They sat quietly for a while, just listening to music and occasionally talking about anything that came to mind. After a while Julie sighed, putting down her now empty bowl and flopping down on her back to look up at the stars.

R followed suit, laying down on his back and keeping a few centimetres between them in case she felt crowded. It turned out to be for nought as the second he was settled, she turned onto her side facing him and rested her head on his shoulder. Her left arm ended up across his waist and she shifted until she was snug against his side, head tilted a little so she could still look up.

R had forgotten how to breathe.

Julie seemed to notice that his whole body had gone stiff and she lifted her head, looking at him.

“Is this okay?” She asked quietly, beginning to move away a little.

R nodded a few times, bringing his left arm up to gently rest on her back. It seemed to be enough assurance for her as she laid back down, resting her head back on his chest and giving a small sigh.

There was silence.

R had never felt so content.

~*~*~

A while later- it was hard to judge the time on the roof- R felt Julie begin to shiver and he nudged her to sit up, realising that in his anxious anticipation for this to happen he’d forgotten to bring any other blankets up. In a rare moment of confidence he unzipped and shrugged off his hoodie, holding it out to his friend- would she be classed as his girlfriend at this point??- while she stared at him.

“Y-you’re cold.” He explained, pretending he didn’t also feel the cool night air steadily getting colder.

“You’ll freeze!” She replied, although she looked sorely tempted. A battle of the wills silently began between them, ending with her throwing her hands in the air before taking the hoodie. “Fine. But if it gets any colder we’re going inside, okay?” She shrugged on the hoodie, holding up her arms and pulling down the cuffs so they didn’t flop over her hands.

R nodded, smiling at how the jacket practically dwarfed her. If she stood up it would probably almost reach her knees.

“S-sure.”

Instead of laying back down again, Julie shuffled around to his side and leaned against him, head on his shoulder as his arm came up to wrap around her waist. It mirrored the day a few months back after his migraine when she’d kept him company as they watched films, and he suddenly realised what his reaction had actually been- had he been crushing on her for that long and not realising it? It actually sounded like something he would do.

Julie closed her eyes, trying to perfectly preserve the memory of feeling of that moment. She felt safe, secure, and so thought of that she felt a little dizzy. It suddenly struck her that R, the boy that she had been denying having a (in hindsight) fairly blatant crush on for a while had more-or-less asked her out and they were together now. Together together.

It felt good.

~*~*~

In the end they lasted around an hour outside before admitting defeat as the temperatures dropped. Julie stood, piling things back into the basket as R rolled up the various blankets and mats to drag back inside.

When they reached the apartment they realised with a start that it was already past midnight and Marcus had already gone to bed, something R was quite glad about just this once. He shoved the roll of blankets and mats in the broom closet along with both brooms from the roof, before standing in the hallway with Julie. It felt a little awkward when they weren’t under the night sky, listening to music and staring up at the stars together.

“So… this was nice.” Julie smiled, sticking her hands in her back pockets after putting the basket down so she she wouldn’t fidget.

“Y-yeah.” R replied, grinning awkwardly. “Um. Do you- d’you w-wanna go home? B-because, you ca-can stay. I-if you want. I-I don’t wanna m-m-make you uncomfortable b-but it’s late...” He trailed off, feeling like he might have overstepped the mark.

“I wouldn’t mind staying. It’s Saturday tomorrow, yeah?” She brought out her phone skimming through texts. “I’ll just tell my dad I’m staying at Nora’s, she’ll back me up.”

R’s heart thudded in his chest.

“Um. Y-you can take my b-bed, I’ll sl-sleep on the couch.” He gestured vaguely to the couch in the living room before turning and heading for his bedroom, gesturing for her to follow him. He thanked every deity in existence that in his mad cleaning spree earlier in the day he’d both changed the sheets and covers on his bed, along with having a general tidy of the whole apartment.

“Are you sure? I don’t mind the couch, I can sleep anywhere.” She followed, leaning against the doorway to his room. “I don’t want to take your bed from you.”

Smiling, R fussed with the covers on his bed until they were somewhat straight.

“Y-you’re the guest, r-r-right?” She seemed to accept this as an argument, perhaps remembering when she’d used the same phrase when he’d come for dinner. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

“Hm. I guess.” She replied, although the defiance in her tone wasn’t strong.

R grabbed a t-shirt and some sweatpants from his drawers to sleep in and hesitated as he went to leave the room.

“Um. Goodnight.” He smiled at Julie- could he call her his girlfriend or was it too soon?- who looked back at him before approaching and placing her hands on his shoulders, standing on her toes to kiss his cheek.

“Goodnight.” She replied with a matching smile. R fumbled with the doorhandle for a moment, forgetting how his hands worked before he opened the door and left the room. He entered the living room, dumping his clothes on the sofa before staring at the wall for several seconds as he recapped the evening.

Julie had come over.

He’d shown her her surprise, as a gift to thank her for what she’d brought to his life.

She hadn’t freaked out or run away when finding out he ‘liked’ her as more than a friend.

She’d agreed to sort-of be something more with him

She’d kissed him on the cheek.

And now she was sleeping in his room.

To his surprise, he didn’t feel like he was on the edge of a panic attack or a complete breakdown. It was almost like he’d surpassed both of those points to come to some sort of calm, although it didn’t stop the whirlwind of thoughts inside his head.

He changed into his sleepwear automatically and made himself a bed on the sofa, bringing the duvet up to his face and closing his eyes.

~*~*~

Julie had spent several minutes sitting on R’s bed lost in thought before she suddenly realised that she didn’t have pyjamas or any kind of sleepwear with her and felt that it would be a bit weird and possibly a bit much to ask Daniel to bring some over to her. She thought for a moment, before looking down and realising that she was still wearing R’s hoodie. It looked and felt clean and she rubbed the cuffs with her fingertips for a few seconds before deciding. She shrugged off the hoodie and her t-shirt, thankful that she was wearing boxer briefs underneath her jeans (sue her, they were comfy) before pulling the hoodie back on and zipping it up. Surely R wouldn’t mind her sleeping in it? She could hang it up in the morning before they woke up, anyway.

An hour or so of tossing and turning later, she was tired and growing frustrated at her lack of ability to sleep. It was a problem she hadn’t encountered in a long time, not since her mom had passed away and she’d spent many sleepless nights alone in her room feeling the crushing weight of loneliness upon her.

Wow, her thoughts got dark pretty quickly.

In the end, Julie heaved a sigh and gave up, throwing off the duvet and getting out of bed. Maybe R was having the same problem?

~*~*~

R was fast asleep.

She had to put a hand over her mouth to keep in the audible ‘aww’ that was trying to come out as she took him in, nestled in the spare duvet he’d found with his face half-obscured by the pillow it was smushed into.

Julie deliberated what to do. She didn’t really want to wake him up, it felt rude, but at the same time there was a possibility that she would go insane from lack of sleep soon.

A few seconds later she made up her mind and approached the sofa, placing her hand where she guessed R’s shoulder would be (it was hard to tell underneath the huge duvet) and nudged him gently.

“R?” She whispered, nudging him a little more when he didn’t respond.

R’s eyes blinked open slowly and his forehead creased as he took her in.

“Julie? You okay?” He murmured, pushing himself up onto one elbow. The expression on his face made seemed like he couldn’t believe she was there and her heart melted a little.

“I’m fine. Can’t sleep. Scooch over.” She smiled as he shifted so his back was against the back of the sofa, eyes never leaving her as she lifted the duvet and shimmied underneath it. “Um- is this okay?” She asked hesitantly, laying the duvet over herself and moving so they were roughly at eye level.

R nodded slowly, brain still trying to catch up with what was happening as he laid back down. The sofa wasn’t small but wasn’t exactly large and Julie shifted until her head was once again against his shoulder, one hand holding onto the front of his sleep shirt. She felt R’s arm rest around her waist again and he rested his cheek on her hair, closing his eyes.

“Is that m-my hoodie?” He asked quietly, recognising the feel of the fabric underneath his hand.

“Mhm. Do you mind?” Julie replied, suddenly feeling a lot more tired than she had before.

“Mm… no. Suits you.” Was the only reply she got before she physically felt R relax as he fell asleep. She smiled, toying with the fabric of R’s shirt as she felt sleep creep up on her.