Chapter Text
FAM🔥❤️
Buck, Chimney, Eddie, Harry, Hen, May, Ravi
Today 03:02 AM
Buck
kay but hear me out
octupuses have three hearts and blue blood????
like what do you mean BLUE????
AND they cna taste with their suckers
their SUCKERS
how is no one talking about this????
Chimney
Pretty sure people have been talking about octopuses for a while man
Anyway, isn’t the plural of octopus octopi?
Buck
negative
ppl think it’s because octupus is latin but did u know it’s actually greek?
Chimney
Clearly I didn’t
Hen
Buck, it’s 3am. Why are you yelling about sea creatures?
Buck
i fell into a documentary spiral
it started with sharks and now im here
i dont think i can come back
Ravi
bro got lost in the ocean 😭
May
he’s gone… the abyss took him
Harry
RIP buck buckley you would’ve loved tiktok marine biology edits
Buck
THIS IS SERIOUS
they can OPEN JARS
Eddie
Yeah
You send me that once
Buck
AND YOU DIDNT EVEN REACT??!!
Eddie
I said “huh”
Buck
THATS NOT ENOUGH
Harry
huh is crazy work 💀
May
lmao eddie really hit him with the npc dialogue
Eddie
The what now?
Ravi
😭😭😭
Harry
ok boomer
Eddie
I am 33
Harry
exactly
Hen
LMAOOO
Harry
oh you too auntie??
Hen
Excuse me??
May
he’s fighting everyone today
Chimney
He woke up and chose violence
May
we don’t say that anymore
Harry
y’all just don’t get it fr
Buck
NO STAY ON TOPIC
THEY CAN ALSO DISGUISE THEMSELVES
LIKE FULL CAMOUFLAGE
Ravi
bro they’re basically avoiding responsibilites
May
he said 🐙 “you can’t see me”
Harry
john cena octupus
Chimney
I hate this chat
Go talk in the one with Cap so he can scream at you
And then I can finally get some sleep
Buck
u know im not allowed to start a convo after 7 pm
Eddie
I still don’t understand the npc thing
Ravi
Harry
May
it means you respond like a background character
Eddie
I’m literally not
Harry
”I said huh”
Ravi
💀💀💀
Buck
EDDIE FOCUS
you’re my only hope
if i were drowning and an octopus saved me would you finally react properly???
Eddie
Why would an octopus save you?
Buck
YOU DON'T KNOW THEY MIGHT
Hen
I would pay to see that
Chimney
Same
May
would lowkey be a slay
Eddie
A what?
Harry
oh my days
Ravi
he’s too far gone 😭
Buck
kay but imagine
me and my octopus best friend
solving crimes
Eddie
No
Buck
EDDIE YES
Eddie
No
Buck
you wouldn’t even watch???
Eddie
I’d watch
Buck
THANK YOU
Eddie
Just once, to see how badly it goes
Buck
…………
Harry
💀
May
no fr a hatecrime
Ravi
man really said “i support you (once)”
Chimney
That’s growth for Eddie
Ravi
tbf character development
May
especially for an npc
Buck
i deserve better :(
Eddie
You really don’t
Harry
OHHHH
May
GET HIM AGAIN
Hen
I’m crying
Buck
wow
wow kay
okay
when my octopus doesn’t choose u as its favorite don’t come crying to me
Eddie
Good. Then I’ll stop texting
Buck
YOU TAKE THAT BACK
buddie survivors
Chimney, Harry, Hen, Karen, Maddie, May, Ravi
Today 03:32 AM
May
soooo
are they flirting again or??
Ravi
again implies they ever stopped
Harry
real
Chimney
For legal reasons I’m staying out of this conversation
Hen
You’re just saying that so Maddie won’t come for your ass once she wakes up
You literally started the “Buck and Eddie Married Bickering Counter” three years ago
Chimney
And I was YOUNG
Hen
you were 42
Harry
DAYUUMM
what are the people before boomers called?
Ravi
dinosaurs
Chimney
Go back to bashing Buck and Eddie
May
”then i’ll stop texting”
that had BITE to it
eddie is such a diva sometimes
Ravi
sexual tension over octopuses is insane work
Chimney
You think that’s bad?
Last shift Buck made Eddie a coffee
And Eddie took one sip and went “you remembered”
WITH puppy dog eyes
Harry
NOOOOO
thank fuck i wasnt there
May
STOP IT
thats so romcom coded tho🥹
Hen
Yeah, then Buck got all smug for the rest of the day
Ravi
i’m telling ya
theyd survive exactly one (1) fake dating scenario before combusting
Harry
they already act divorced with shared custody of christopher
May
LITERALLY
Chimney
One time Buck said “we need to talk about Chris’ school thing” and I genuinely thought they were married for a second
Hen
To be fair, half the station thinks they are
Ravi
and the other half thinks they’re secretly dating
Harry
and the remaining 1% is eddie
May
HELP
Hen
Eddie Diaz:
- Emotionally constipated
- In love with Buck
- Unaware
Chimney
That should go on his tombstone honestly
Harry
Buck at least knows SOMETHING is happening
May
yeahh but he thinks it’s like "bestie soul connection🥺"
Ravi
meanwhile Eddie would take a bullet for him and still say “that’s just what friends do”
Hen
HE WOULD THOUGH
I’m so tired of his ass
Chimney
He literally has…
Harry
oh true
May
oh damn i forgot
Ravi
crazy behavior honestly
Hen
The funniest part is that if you asked either of them directly they’d short circuit
Harry
we should test that theory
Chimney
absolutely
Maddie
Howard Han
Chimney
Absolutely not
I sent it too early, love
Maddie
Put your phone away and sleep
Chimney
Yes, ma’am
May
oh damn
you’re her, maddie
anyways, absolutely yes
Ravi
YES PLEASE
i cant bear them anymore
Hen
RIP Chimney LOL
Guys, no violence today
We’ve got a seventy-two-hour shift
Harry
counterpoint: it would be funny
May
wait wait wait
what if we casually start referring to them like a married couple and see how long it takes them to notice
Ravi
OH I’M IN
Chimney
i want plausible deniability
Chimney left the conversation
Harry
💀💀💀
May
LMFAO
Harry
operation buddie bait is officially a go
May
that is the worst name ive ever heard
Ravi
seconded
Harry
y’all just threatened by my creativity
Eds❤️
Today 03:48 AM
do u think they all fell asleep
or was I annoying?
:(
Read 3:48 AM
You’re not annoying, Buck
It’s late
And we have a long shift tomorrow
yeah
you’re probably right
Read 3:49 AM
I’m definitely right
You should also go and get some sleep
will try
too much energy
thanks❤️
Read 3:50 AM
Always❤️
