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Buck walks into the house, closing the door behind him with a soft groan. He is utterly exhausted, his body heavy from the long shift, the lack of sleep, and the difficult call they had to deal with just before he left.
It’s late at night, and the house is quiet, the orange glow of the table lamp casting long shadows across the living room furniture. Buck glances toward the kitchen and finds it perfectly tidied up, lights turned off, the folded dish towel resting neatly on the counter beside the drying rack.
Eddie is nowhere to be seen, so Buck drops his bag onto the couch and shuffles quietly toward Theo’s room, careful not to make too much noise.
The door is slightly ajar, a thin strip of warm light spilling through the opening, and Buck pushes it open gently with the tips of his fingers.
The sight stops him in his tracks.
He stands there, hand still wrapped around the doorknob, staring at Theo fast asleep on his bed, his dinosaur teddy tucked beneath one arm, mouth slightly open as little breaths puff past his lips.
His head is resting against Eddie’s shoulder.
Eddie, stretched out beside him on the mattress, has one arm wrapped protectively around Theo’s small shoulders, his body curved around him like a shield between Theo and the edge of the bed.
Buck notices he’s still wearing jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, his hair fanned out across the pillow.
The softness of it nearly breaks him apart.
With Chris away, Eddie had offered to look after Theo while Buck was on shift, and Buck had known immediately that Theo would be safe with him. Theo absolutely adored Eddie, lighting up the second he walked through the door, grabbing his hand and dragging him toward the living room so they could play together.
Over the last few months, Theo had attached himself to Eddie, following him around like a duckling whenever they visited the firehouse, handing him little drawings, begging to try on his helmet.
Once, Buck had even caught him scribbling all over his arms with a black marker, and when Buck had asked what he was doing, Theo had grinned proudly and pointed at his skin.
“It’s a tattoo,” he’d declared. “Just like Eddie has.”
Maddie had laughed softly when Buck told her about it, shaking her head fondly.
“He’s a Buckley, after all.”
Buck still wasn’t entirely sure what she’d meant by that, but if it meant Theo felt happy and safe with Eddie, then Buck was more than okay with it.
He hadn’t realized just how grateful he was for that until now.
Images from the call flash through his head again, sharp and ugly, and his chest tightens painfully.
Theo is safe. He’s here. With Eddie. Safe.
The doorknob creaks softly beneath Buck’s grip, and Eddie suddenly stirs awake, blinking slowly as he takes in where he is.
His eyes dart toward the door, toward Buck standing frozen there, and a sleepy smile tugs at his lips. But it vanishes almost immediately when he really looks at Buck, concern softening his features in an instant.
Carefully, Eddie untangles himself from Theo, making sure not to wake him.
Theo lets out a tiny hum, turning onto his side and clutching the dinosaur closer, still deeply asleep.
Buck watches as Eddie rises from the bed, pulling the blankets up over Theo’s shoulders and brushing a gentle hand through his hair before making his way toward the door.
He tries to catch Buck’s eyes, but Buck keeps staring at the floor as he retreats into the living room, Eddie following quietly after closing Theo’s bedroom door behind him.
Buck feels exhaustion dragging at every bone in his body, emotions crashing against his ribs in slow, relentless waves. Usually, he’s good at handling bad calls. After all these years, he knows how to compartmentalise, how to shove things aside until they stop hurting so much.
But this one found its way under his skin anyway, leaving him hollowed out and aching.
He stops in the middle of the living room just as Eddie reaches him.
A warm hand settles on his shoulder.
Buck almost groans at the touch, at the way Eddie’s fingers knead gently into the tight muscles there.
“Hey, Buck,” Eddie says softly, stepping closer. “What happened?”
His voice is low and warm and unbearably kind, and it feels like a balm pressed over all the noise still screaming through Buck’s head.
Buck swallows hard before finally lifting his eyes to him.
“Bad call,” he mumbles.
He knows he should be stronger than this. But here, with Eddie, with Theo sleeping safely down the hall, the walls he’s spent all day holding upright are finally beginning to crack.
Eddie nods slowly, thumbs brushing soothing circles over Buck’s arms before guiding him gently toward the couch and easing him down onto it.
Buck goes willingly, too tired to resist.
“I’m gonna make you some tea, okay?” Eddie murmurs, one hand sliding to the back of Buck’s neck, fingers pressing gently into the tense skin there.
Buck leans instinctively into the touch and nods.
He doesn’t want Eddie to leave. Not even for a minute. But he forces himself to breathe through it, grounding himself in the quiet warmth of the room.
He’s home. It’s over.
Eddie gives him one last worried look before disappearing into the kitchen.
Through the haze in his mind, Buck hears the kettle click on, cabinet doors opening and shutting softly. A minute later, Eddie is back beside him, sitting close enough that their thighs brush as he hands Buck a steaming mug.
“Careful,” Eddie warns quietly. “It’s hot.”
Buck curls both hands around the mug and inhales the steam, the scent of lemon immediately easing something tight in his chest.
Lemon tea. His favorite.
Silence settles between them as Buck takes slow sips, Eddie’s hand returning to his back, tracing lazy circles through the fabric of his shirt.
For the first time in hours, Buck feels the adrenaline beginning to drain out of him. The fear slowly loosens its grip with every pass of Eddie’s hand.
When he finally sets the empty mug down on the coffee table, his hands have stopped shaking.
Eddie turns slightly toward him. “So,” he says gently, “do you want to talk about it?”
Buck doesn’t.
The thought of putting words to it makes nausea crawl up his throat. But he knows Eddie’s right, they both know how it works with bad calls.
You have to talk about them eventually, otherwise they stay buried inside you, festering in the dark.
Buck exhales shakily and lets himself lean sideways until his shoulder presses against Eddie’s chest.
Then, before he can overthink it, he drops his head onto Eddie’s shoulder.
Eddie stills for just a second.
They’re not usually like this, not this touchy.
But Buck doesn’t have the energy to feel embarrassed. He’s exhausted, and every part of him is reaching desperately for something solid to hold onto.
After a moment, Eddie relaxes against him again, his hand lifting slowly until his fingers disappear into Buck’s curls, gently massaging his scalp.
Buck’s eyes flutter shut at once, a quiet breath leaving him.
“It was a car crash,” he starts softly, focusing on the steady warmth of Eddie beside him. “Several cars piled up after one had a mechanical failure. In one of them, there was this woman—”
His voice breaks.
The images slam back into him all at once, vivid and terrible, and Buck instinctively curls closer, burying his face against Eddie’s neck.
Eddie smells like detergent and coffee and something warm that is just Eddie.
“It’s okay,” Eddie whispers. He tilts his head until his lips brush softly against Buck’s forehead, fingers still threading through his curls, “You’re okay now. Go on.”
Buck forces himself to breathe.
“She was pregnant,” he whispers. “Eight months.”
Eddie curses quietly under his breath, and Buck knows he already understands where this story ends.
Still, Buck has to say it out loud.
“We got her out, but the baby…” His throat closes painfully around the words. “There wasn’t anything we could do.”
Eddie immediately wraps both arms around him, pulling Buck fully against his chest.
One hand stays buried in his hair while the other rubs slowly up and down his back, steady and grounding and real.
“I’m sorry, Buck,” Eddie murmurs against his temple.
Buck grips the fabric of Eddie’s shirt tightly in his fists.
He’s too drained to cry properly, but the ache inside him feels unbearable anyway.
“Her screams when she found out,” he whispers hoarsely. “I can still hear them.”
Eddie pulls back just enough to look at him.
His eyes are warm and dark and impossibly gentle as he cups Buck’s face in both hands, thumbs brushing softly beneath his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he says again. “But you did everything you could.”
Buck closes his eyes and leans helplessly into the touch.
He needs this. Needs Eddie close enough to quiet the noise in his head.
If he could, he thinks, he would climb right inside Eddie’s ribcage and stay there awhile, somewhere warm and safe where nothing could touch him.
He exhales shakily and leans forward until their foreheads rest together.
Eddie’s skin is cool against his overheated face.
Buck knows he probably shouldn’t ask for more. Knows this could change things between them in ways neither of them can take back.
But right now, the rest of the world feels impossibly far away.
There’s only this room. The soft shadows. Eddie’s hands on his face.
Buck and Eddie.
Eddie and Buck.
Nothing else exists.
“Can you—” Buck starts softly before stopping himself.
Eddie’s grip tightens just slightly.
“Anything you need,” he says immediately. “Just ask.”
Buck’s gaze drops to Eddie’s mouth for one brief second before lifting again, and from the faint blush blooming across Eddie’s cheeks, Buck gets the feeling he already knows.
“Can you kiss me?” Buck whispers. “I think it’ll help me calm down.”
Eddie doesn’t hesitate. He leans in without another word, and his mouth meets Buck’s softly enough that it almost hurts.
Buck lets out a quiet sound into Eddie’s mouth as all the tension still locked inside him finally begins to melt.
The kiss is slow, unhurried, Eddie giving him every possible chance to pull away, but Buck only shifts closer one trembling hand fisting in the front of Eddie’s shirt while the other settles weakly against his waist.
Eddie kisses him like he understands Buck needs grounding more than anything else right now.
His lips move gently against Buck’s, warm and careful and impossibly tender, and Buck feels the awful tightness in his chest loosen for the first time since the call ended. The noise in his head dims beneath the steady pressure of Eddie’s mouth, beneath the slow drag of Eddie’s thumb against his cheekbone.
It feels frighteningly easy to melt into him.
Buck parts his lips on a shaky inhale and Eddie follows instinctively, kissing him deeper with a quiet sound caught somewhere in his throat, one hand sliding from Buck’s face to the back of his neck like he can’t quite bear to let him go.
Their tongues brush slowly together, lazy and warm, and Buck feels heat bloom low in his chest, replacing the cold emptiness that had hollowed him out all evening.
Eddie leans back against the couch, taking Buck with him, and Buck shifts closer without thinking until his knee presses between Eddie’s thighs and his chest is nearly flush against Eddie’s own, desperate for more contact, more warmth, more proof that he’s here and not back there under flashing ambulance lights and screaming voices.
Eddie makes another soft sound against his mouth, deeper this time, and Buck feels it all the way down to his ribs.
God.
It’s nothing like Buck expected.
It’s not like it was with Tommy, wet and rushing and always a bit too cold. Eddie kisses him like he’s trying to soothe every frayed nerve ending in Buck’s body one careful touch at a time, and Buck can feel himself unraveling beneath it in the quietest way possible.
His fingers tighten helplessly in Eddie’s shirt.
Eddie responds immediately, one hand slipping into Buck’s curls while the other spreads warm and steady against his lower back, pulling him impossibly closer until Buck is practically halfway into his lap.
The movement draws a soft breath from Buck’s mouth and Eddie swallows it down instantly.
Outside, the house remains completely silent around them, and the rest of the world feeling impossibly far away.
Buck has the dizzying thought that maybe he could stay here forever, wrapped up in Eddie’s arms where nothing can touch him.
Eddie pulls back eventually, their foreheads falling together again while they breathe the same air in shaky little exhales.
Eddie’s fingers are still buried in his curls, scratching lightly against his scalp in slow soothing motions, and Buck feels himself sag further against him.
“You okay?” Eddie asks quietly, his voice rough around the edges now.
Buck laughs softly under his breath at that, the sound tired and a little wrecked.
“Yeah,” he murmurs honestly, nuzzling unconsciously closer until his nose brushes Eddie’s jaw. “Better.”
He feels Eddie smile against his forehead before warm lips press there again, lingering this time.
Buck’s chest aches at the gentleness of it.
For a long moment neither of them speaks. They just stay there tangled together on the couch while Eddie keeps one arm wrapped tightly around him and Buck lets himself breathe for what feels like the first time all night.
Eddie’s hand slips back into Buck’s curls, fingers massaging slowly against his scalp again, and Buck lets out a quiet sigh as he melts further against him, his entire body suddenly heavy in the aftermath of everything. He shifts closer without thinking, resting more of his weight against Eddie’s chest while pressing absentminded open-mouthed kisses against his shoulder through the thin fabric of his shirt, lingering there just to feel the warmth of him beneath his lips.
“Can you stay tonight?” he asks softly, voice rough with exhaustion.
Eddie hums quietly and curls his fingers gently in Buck’s hair until Buck lifts his head enough to look at him. For a second Eddie just studies him in silence, thumb brushing slowly over Buck’s lower lip.
There’s something warm and glossy in Eddie’s expression now, something fond enough to make Buck’s chest ache.
“Whatever you need, Buck,” Eddie says quietly, a small smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. “I meant it. I’m here for you too, not just for Theo.”
The words settle somewhere painfully deep inside Buck.
He smiles faintly before leaning in to press a soft kiss against Eddie’s cheek. When he pulls back, the skin beneath Eddie’s freckles has gone pink, and Eddie glances away immediately like he’s suddenly shy about it.
It does something ridiculous to Buck’s heart.
“I just…” Buck starts quietly, wrapping both arms around Eddie’s neck and drawing himself closer until their foreheads almost brush again. “I just need you to hold me tonight. I know it’s probably weird, but after the call and everything, I just—”
Eddie cuts him off before he can spiral any further, leaning forward to press another quick soft kiss against his lips.
“It’s not weird,” he murmurs firmly, close enough that Buck can feel the words against his mouth. “And you never have to apologise for needing someone.”
Buck stares at him for a second, something tight in his chest threatening to come apart all over again, before Eddie’s hand slides soothingly down his back.
“I meant it,” Eddie repeats more softly. “Anything you need to feel okay again.”
And maybe it’s the exhaustion, or the lingering horror from the call still clawing at the edges of his mind, or maybe it’s simply Eddie, but Buck suddenly feels so overwhelmed by the tenderness of it all that he has to hide his face against Eddie’s shoulder just to breathe through it.
Eddie only holds him tighter.
—
The next morning, Buck wakes slowly to the sound of knocking somewhere nearby, his brain still heavy with sleep as warm sunlight filters weakly through the curtains in pale golden streaks.
For one disorienting second he doesn’t understand why he feels so warm.
Then he shifts slightly and realizes Eddie is still wrapped around him beneath the blankets, one arm heavy across Buck’s waist while their legs remain tangled together from where they must have drifted closer during the night.
Buck barely has time to process that realization before the bedroom door flies open.
“Cuddle pile!”
Theo launches himself onto the bed with absolutely no warning, dissolving immediately into a fit of giggles as he wedges himself right between them with all the force a four-year-old can possess.
Buck bursts into startled laughter when Theo lands half on top of Eddie, elbow jabbing directly into Eddie’s ribs.
Eddie groans dramatically beside him, still only halfway awake, while Theo laughs even harder at the reaction.
“Bud,” Eddie mumbles hoarsely into the pillow, “you trying to take me out this morning?”
Theo only cackles louder before throwing himself backward against the mattress, spreading both arms wide like he owns the entire bed.
Buck is still laughing softly when the memories from the night before hit him all at once.
The couch. The kisses. Falling asleep wrapped around each other.
For one brief terrifying second, panic curls through his stomach as he glances toward Eddie, suddenly unsure what this morning is supposed to mean now that the secrecy of the night has worn off.
But then Eddie looks over at him.
And winks.
Just like that.
Then Eddie turns immediately toward Theo and starts tickling his sides until the room fills with shrieking laughter, sunlight catching against Eddie’s messy hair while Theo nearly falls off the bed trying to escape him.
Buck watches them both, warmth blooming slowly through his chest so deep it almost aches.
And somehow, despite everything, despite how terrifying it should probably feel to stand at the edge of something new like this, Buck knows with complete certainty that they’re going to be okay.
Like always.