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The last place Dream wanted to have to take cover in was Tommy Innit's house.
He really hadn't intended to do more then walk by so he could check on the blood vines and on Punz's tower before leaving to stay at one of their other bases for a few weeks, having finally been convinced to get out of the prison for a bit. Its just happened that about the same time Ant and Bad decided that this would be a lovely night for a little stroll, forcing Dream to scramble for the nearest hiding place or get trapped in a fight he wasn't prepared for.
Tommy's house is dark, and hopefully empty, as Dream slips inside, closing the door to not make any noise despite how much he wants to slam it closed and block it with the nearest furniture. Dream sighs, counting to ten in his mind while listening for any sound, either from Tommy or the hunters having spotted him.
He hears neither, instead a loud groan comes from deeper inside the house, making Dream tense. He was hoping it was abandoned with how quiet (and honestly, run down) the small hill house seemed to be, but once again Dream's luck has decided to spit in his face.
Still, maybe it's just a zombie. With how dark it is in here one might just have spawned in a still corner where stale magic might have been gathering.
Dream sneaks trough the house, following the low groans and moans until he finds himself at the door to Tommy's bedroom, staring at the other man who is, despite Dream's wishes, really in his house, curled up in bed with pain so bad it seems to make him nauseous. Dream panics for a moment, frozen in place before what is really happening hits him, a mistake he himself made enough times to know the consequences by heart.
Dream hesitates, wanting nothing more then to walk away, but he curses and rushes to Tommy's side, abandoning any concern about him calling the hunters, shaking him slightly so Tommy will open his eyes.
"Tommy- C'mon Tommy, look at me. Did you take any regen? Of any kind? Did you eat a golden apple?" Tommy nods at the last option, eyes teary from the pain as he looks up at Dream, barely recognizing him, and the other curses again.
"You're not supposed to take regen or healing when you're on your period, you know that, I told you that before, it just-" Dream throws open a nearby chest, glancing inside- "it remakes your lining so you have more stuff to bleed- fuck do you have any potion ingredients in here?"
Tommy just whines, curling tighter on himself, and Dream curses again, throwing open another chest to look through.
Tommy apparently has never heard of organization systems, or even of the vague concept of putting items of the same type on the same chest, but eventually Dream finds a stale water bottle, a fermented spider eye and a loose handful of blaze powder that was probably at some point a blaze rod that was crushed under the cobblestone thrown on top of it.
Tommy's potion stand is on the first room entering his house, which makes sense because its the only one with windows to let the potion fumes out, but that means Dream has no option but to stay crouched and pray that no one will see the low light coming from them, or at least not spot him kneeling and assume it's just Tommy doing some late night brewing.
The second the weakness potion is done Dream grabs it off the stand, shoving it into a water bucket to make it cool enough to drink as he runs back to Tommy's room. The sooner Tommy drinks it the better, both to numb the pain and flush out the effect of whatever healing item he ate.
Well, not quite flush it out, they would need milk for that, but they don't, at least not any milk that Tommy would be willing to drink, so this is the best option.
When Dream rushes into the room he finds Tommy still curled into himself in bed, clutching his stomach, his position barely changed from before. He rushed to Tommy's side, potion cooled enough to be safe to drink, even if it isn't pleasant, and Dream uncorks it, barely managing to pull Tommy up into a kinda sitting position as he groans in pain so he can drink without choking.
Dream let's Tommy lay back down after he swallows it all, and only a moment later he starts shuddering as the potion effects hit, eyes clenched shut until the numbing settles in and the shaking stops, muffling the pain.
Tommy squints up at Dream the moment he opens his eyes, a puzzled expression that suggests he's wondering if he took some untested potion and forgot about it. Dream doesn't give him time to dawdle tho, pulling Tommy up and off of his bed (despite the many pained groans and complains) and towards Tommy's bathroom, taking off his clothes and gesturing for Tommy to do the same, busying himself with turning on Tommy's shower while the other removes and throws away both his pad and tampon before joining Dream inside the shower box, melting under the hot stream as they both sink to the ground.
Its weirdly nostalgic to be in this situation again, a comfortable trust of knowing that just for this, just this secret, they wont ever use to hurt each other.
"Fuu-ck-" Tommy leans all his weight back into Dream as another wave of cramps hits him, thankfully weaker then the ones that had been keeping him awake all night, "this fucking sucks man. How did you even deal with yours while you were in prison?"
Dream scoffs out a laugh, "I didn't,"- he scoots a bit forward so Tommy's crotch and stomach are straight under the warm spray- "I knew it would suck so I made a deal with Exdee a bit before the whole thing, so you know- I can't really have periods anymore, I don't have the organs for it"
Tommy pauses, squinting at the white stone tiles in the wall as he processes this.
"You made a deal with god to get bottom surgery?" He feels Dream nods behind him, his chest rumbling with silent laughter, "....you think I could get the same deal?"
"I mean- Maybe? Just don't expect whatever you get to look human."
Tommy's brain stills for a moment. He turns around and looks at down at little Dream, who had been up to now politely pressed against his back, no longer blinded by pain that drove him nearly to tears earlier.
"Are those wings?!"
Dream wheezes with laughter, folding over himself, and Tommy vaguely thinks that maybe he shouldn't grab another man's junk so casually as he spreads the little wings to take a better look at it.
"Why the fuck would it put wings on your dick?!"
Dream doesn't respond because he's too busy trying to catch his breath while shaking with laughter, so Tommy settles back into him with a huff, hiding his own grin and trying to muffle the proud spark in his chest for making Dream laugh.
"Don't they get wet? You gotta wash that thing, and even then there's also the hazards of the job. I mean- I guess you don't really have a pussy anymore, but still man. I remember Quackity would become the grumpiest guy in the world when he got rain on his wings, and rain isn't sticky"
Dream tenses slightly behind him and Tommy freezes in response, frantically trying to find where he fucked up on his sentence, where he pushed too hard, before Dream responds.
"No they're like- They have this oil thing that keeps they dry and clean-"
"You have self-lubricating dick wings?!"
Dream folds over, hiding his face on Tommy's neck as another wheeze explodes from him, shoulders shaking and face scrunched with laughter even as it turns silent and breathy.
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · · · ─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ─── · · · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
"Thank you for the help by the way, you know…" Tommy pauses for a moment, "you know how bad that shit can get. I really appreciate it"
"Yeah, don't worry about it. Its like, like that thing you used to say- what was it?"
"Cunts before funds?"
Dream laughed "Cunts before funds, yeah! That doesn't- That doesn't even make any sense."
"Of course it does, it's the funds of war Dream you simply cannot understand my superior intellect-"
"Oh c'mon now," Tommy could hear Dream's grin in his voice, even as the man put his mask back on, "I guess it doesn't apply to me now, since I don't have one anymore."
"Oh don't worry Dream," Tommy said with all the fake seriousness in his voice, "no what your genitals are I will always think you're a fucking cunt."