Work Text:
Ottawa Centaurs @OttawaCentaursOfficial
Great goal by @TroyBarrett17 in tonight’s game!
[Video clip of Troy Barrett scoring with wrist shot that beats Buffalo’s goalie on the high blocker side]
@censational
Would’ve been good to include that he scored off a sick pass from Bood. Barrett didn’t just score all by himself@CentaurStan
Great goal but it’s a shame we lost 2-1 to fucking Buffalo. I hang my head in shame.@pucklyfe
Remember when OTT vs BUF was a tough game? We’ve been spoiled by the Hollanov era@ToddtheAlpha
Keep your gross shipping crap on tumblr@pucklyfe
Hollanov are literally married to each other! And how do you know about shipping and Tumblr anyway? Are you one of the weirdos writing Hollanov x reader fic???@pucklyfe
Aaaand toddtheomega has retreated back to his mom’s basement. Quelle surprise. :/
Ottawa Centaurs @OttawaCentaursOfficial
We love all our fans and friends whether they have 2 legs or 4!
[Photos of Troy Barrett patting a three-legged miniature poodle, Ilya Rozanov hugging a Newfoundland, Troy Barrett walking a golden retriever, Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander hugging a medium-sized mixed breed dog, multiple Centaurs players carrying small dogs, and Troy Barrett playing Frisbee with a large short-hair dog]
@furryloverbutnotlikethat
Adopt don’t shop! The Cens are doing gods work@dogmomShelley
Cute dogs and cute boys! Maybe I’ll get into hockey . . .@OttCens4eva
Ffs can this team post about hockey for once? I’m sick of looking at Troy Barrett and dogs all the time@marty2000
I don’t mind it sometimes. But yeah, more hockey is good.@kirbythesausagedog
I think it’s rude to say they support 4 legged friends when one of the dogs only has 3. I bet he feels left out.@ToddtheAlpha
Omg calm your tits its a fucking dog@oliviabee
Are these dogs available to adopt? I really like the teeny brown one with the pink collar. She looks just like the dog I had growing up! RIP Lexie, I still miss you@ToddtheAlpha
Jsyk bood doesn’t come with the mutt@oliviabee
What’s a bood???@HappyHeartsDogRescue
Hi Olivia! Fifi is still available for adoption and would love to meet you! She’s a very sweet senior doggie. Our address and opening hours are listed [here] on our site, and this is a [link] to info about our adoption process. Thank you for reaching out and our apologies that the info wasn’t provided in the main post.
Ottawa Centaurs @OttawaCentaursOfficial
Follow @TroyBarrett17’s example and start the day right with @KeenBeanCoffee!
[Photo of Troy Barrett holding up two coffees in a cardboard takeaway tray in one hand and a handful of cake pops in the other]
@OttCens4eva
Ugh, more pointless Troy Barrett posts without any hockey@newcentaursfan
It’s kind of hockey related? It’s part of his morning routine so he can play hockey?@hockeymomma
The straws, you are clutching at them@marathonmeg
Keen Bean has really good coffee though and the barista’s are super friendly@kopiluwaklover
No, they don’t. It’s overpriced swill. Dog piss tastes better.@pucklyfe
Are you speaking from experience?@OttCens4eva
Stop talking about dogs or the Cens will just post more irrelevant stuff instead of actual hockey content
Extract from Ottawa Centaurs Monthly Communications Report
In summary, the negative trend in social media KPIs noted in previous reports continues. This trend is generalised across all Ottawa Centaurs social media accounts and across different domains of social media KPIs. This may be a concerning sign of misalignment between the current communications and social media strategy and broader organisational goals to increase awareness of the brand, elevate its reputation, and strengthen engagement with the community and key partnerships.
On a more positive note, there are specific, discrete areas where social media KPI performance has been more positive, in contrast to the overall trend of decline and stagnation. These may highlight promising areas to pivot toward as the communications and social media strategy is adjusted.
From: Julian Fletcher <[email protected]>
To: Alexandra Choi <[email protected]>
Date: Dec 1, 2021, 06:42 AM
Subject: Additional social media KPI data
Alex, thank you for the stats for the Monthly Communications Report.
The social media KPIs are concerning. We’ll need a detailed analysis for Monday’s meeting. Apologies for the rush.
Regards
Julian Fletcher
Vice President, Communications
Ottawa Centaurs
P: (613) xxx-xxxx | W: www.mlh.com/centaurs
From: Administration Support <[email protected]>
To: Communications management mailing list
Date: Dec 1, 2021, 07:33 AM
Subject: Amendment to Communications Departmental Meeting
The Communications departmental meeting has been extended from 9.00AM to 1.00PM. Updates have been sent to calendars of all attendees.
Please note that attendance is mandatory.
From: Harris Drover <[email protected]>
To: Julian.Fletcher <[email protected]>
Date: Dec 1, 2021, 11:59 AM
Subject: RE: Amendment to Communications Departmental Meeting
Hey Jules,
Just saw the email about Monday’s meeting. I’m flying out with the guys for the away game in New York so I can’t make it. Sorry!
Cheers,
Harris
Harris Drover (he/him)
Senior Director of Communications
Ottawa Centaurs
P: (613) xxx-xxxx | W: www.mlh.com/centaurs
From: Julian Fletcher <[email protected]>
To: Harris Drover <[email protected]>
Date: Dec 1, 2021, 12:02 PM
Subject: RE: RE: Amendment to Communications Departmental Meeting
Send one of the social media staff on the trip. I expect you at Monday’s meeting in person.
Julian Fletcher
Vice President, Communications
Ottawa Centaurs
P: (613) xxx-xxxx | W: www.mlh.com/centaurs
Extract from minutes of Ottawa Centaurs Monthly Communications Departmental Meeting, Monday 6 December 2021
Agenda item: Social media KPIs
- Detailed analytics presented
- Decline in number of likes
- Decline in like to dislike ratio
- Number of comments remains stable but increased negative comments
- Decline in clicks and shares
- Slight increase in follower count but below projections
- Decline in clickthrough rate
- Significantly better social media KPIs for all content featuring Ilya Rozanov and/or Shane Hollander
- Significantly better social media KPIs for content featuring hockey
- Significantly better social media KPIs for non-hockey content featuring a variety of players
- Significantly worse social media KPIs for multiple posts of the same player in a row, except for Ilya Rozanov and/or Shane Hollander
- For multiple sequential posts of the same player, KPIs fall by at least 50% by the third post
Ottawa Centaurs @OttawaCentaursOfficial
The team is working hard at practice today!
[Video clip of the team practicing passing drills, with a closeup of Troy Barrett passing to Ilya Rozanov and Zane Boodram]
@marty2000
Yay, hockey!@OttCens4eva
Still zoomed in on Troy Barrett’s ass though@pucklyfe
It’s a very nice ass@OttCens4eva
Still zoomed in on Troy Barrett’s ass though. There are other great asses on this team!@marty2000
I prefer watching Hollander’s edgework <drool>
From: Henri Proulx <[email protected]>
To: Julian Fletcher <[email protected]>
Date: Dec 13, 2021, 9:33 PM
Subject: Meeting request - URGENT
Julian, what’s your availability for a meeting today? I’ve just spoken with Ilya Rozanov and there are important comms issues that have been raised. This needs to be addressed ASAP.
Regards,
Henri Proulx
President and General Manager, Hockey Operations
Ottawa Centaurs
P: (613) xxx-xxxx | W: www.mlh.com/centaurs
Extract from job posting for position of Senior Director of Communications with Ottawa Centaurs
Job duties
- Develop and execute a comprehensive communications strategy aligned with organisational goals and values
- Collaborate effectively, professionally, and appropriately with internal staff and external partners
- Assist with player and coach media preparation, including drafting media training materials
- Develop press material and social media content
- Regular national and international travel to coordinate and assist with player publicity and media obligations
- Manage, lead, and support a large and diverse team, including professional development of staff
Essential qualifications
- 10+ years of experience in PR or Communications.
- Bachelor’s degree in related field of study
- 5+ years of experience working with a professional sports team, with a focus on hockey
- 5+ years of management experience
- Exceptional verbal and written communications skills
- Exceptional interpersonal skills
- Proficiency in MS Word, Excel, PowerPoint and Outlook, Adobe InDesign
- Prior experience in fast paced environment working with tight deadlines
From: Administration Support <[email protected]>
To: All organisation mailing list
Date: Mar 1, 2022, 09:05 AM
Subject: Welcome to the new Senior Director of Communications
The Ottawa Centaurs organisation would like to extend a warm welcome back to Theresa Spence, who rejoins us as Senior Director of Communications after returning from maternity leave.
Theresa will be in the office from today for handover from the current Senior Director and will take over the position fully from next Monday.
Harris Drover @HappyApplePR
Loved my time with @OttawaCentaursOfficial but I’m excited to move onto bigger and better things! @HappyApplePR is here for all your PR and social media needs!
@TroyBarrett17
The best PR firm around! Thanks, babe <3@WyattHayesGoalie
Good luck!@rozanov81
Best wishes@ZaneBoodram
All the best@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer
The Centaurs won’t be the same without you@HappyApplePR
Listen to the guys, they know what they’re talking about! @LucaHaasHockeyPlayer We’d love to talk about how we can help with your PR and social media! @TheRoseLandry We look after clients big, small and enormous!@landrylunatic
Wtf did you just call Rose Landry fat?!!!@LucaHaasHockeyPlayer
Thank you but I’m happy with my current PR firm. They look after me so well as a client and they’re international so it’s easier for my Swiss sponsorships. Best wishes to you.@trademarknerd
You might want to change your firm’s name before Cupertino sues you
Shane allows himself a small smile as he puts his phone down.
Ilya’s watching him closely. “Happy?”
Shane’s done enough pressers that he knows how to give a diplomatic answer. “Losing a job is always hard.”
Ilya grins because he knows Shane well enough to see through his PR-speak. “I like your reply to Harris’ post.”
“Mom told me never to lie in the media.” And Shane didn’t - the Centaurs will be different without Drover as the comms director. Better.
“Well, I am happy,” Ilya says. He gets to be blunt like that, can still get away with more because he’s Ilya Rozanov, with everything that comes with that image and reputation. “Theresa is very good PR person and doesn’t hang around the team all the time getting in the way and doing nothing.”
“I like her too - she’s very professional.” Shane looked into her resume when the new Senior Director of Communications was announced. It’s very impressive, way more than Harris Drover’s. Theresa worked in PR for multiple hockey teams in the AHL and MLH, worked her way up in the Centaurs organisation over years, from general communications staff right up to Senior Director.
Shane wonders if it felt shitty for her to go on maternity leave and then have her position covered by some underqualified guy in his twenties who spent all day on social media and hanging out with his boyfriend on the team.
“I think all the guys like her,” Ilya says. “They like all having a turn on social media. Bood is very happy they’re posting more charity stuff with kids, not just dogs.”
The short video series includes all the players now. Everyone loved the one about Luca drawing. They should probably apologise to their hearing fans for the episode about Dykstra’s music preferences.
“Is Troy going to be a problem since he’s not the unofficial face of the Centaurs anymore?” Shane asks.
Ilya shrugs. “I haven’t seen anything but I don’t think so. I think he was on social media because of Harris, not because he wanted to be a big influencer star. And if it is a problem, I’m captain and I will fix it.”
“Okay. What did you say to Proulx anyway?”
“The truth. That Harris is not good, around the team too much for no reason. And that the social media posts are bad and don’t make people want to be Cens fans so they don’t buy as many jerseys and tickets from us.”
Shane frowns at that. “Is that going to be a problem for you? GMs hate mouthy players.” He can only imagine the reaming out he’d get if he complained about PR strategy to the Metros GM.
“No, I’m very smart captain and I said it was a distraction in the room, that I was worried it would affect performance.”
“Yeah, that’s really smart,” Shane admits. No matter how nice a GM seems, they really only care about winning the Cup and making a lot of money along the way - there’s no way a GM lets a social media guy get in the way and fuck that up.
Ilya beams. “Thank you.” His face turns serious as he steps closer, rests his forehead against Shane’s. “I’m captain but I’m husband first. I want the Cens to be a good team to play on for everyone but mostly for you.”
Shane squeezes Ilya in the tightest hug he can give. Playing hockey is easy, or at least hard in an enjoyable way. This part of hockey, the bullshit behind and around it, is the hard part. Shane knows it probably always will be, at least for people like him or anyone else who isn’t the typical hockey dudebro. But it’s a little easier getting through it with Ilya.